Dating, Relationships, & Sex, Lists, Race & Politics, Theory & Essay

All I Want For…A Black Man’s Wishlist

On Monday, December 3rd, in Washington, DC, I’m going to be apart of a panel discussion entitled “A Black Man’s Wishlist”. Dr. J from SBM will also be apart of this convo and has written a similarly titled post (you can read it here). It’s a panel directed at what Black men wish for within relationships.

Well, I figured that since the vast majority of VSBers don’t live in DC and hence won’t be able to attend this panel on Monday, that we should have an interesting convo about it here that may help illuminate some of the very things that will be said and occur on said panel. Basically, let’s just tear apart gender relations between men and women. Plus it’s Christmastime and if there’s one thing that’s synonymous with Christmahanukwanzaakah it’s wishlists. Word to my offspring.

Sidenote: I actually think that a “man’s” wishlist and a “Black man’s” wishlist are going to be remarkably similar. Men, for the most part are fairly consistent at being men. Race only matters for the nuance and the size of the ass you prefer. And even then you can get okeydoked with a Black woman with no ass and a white woman with a donk. God has a sense of humor. And Jesus has a 6-pack.

Of spirits.

Holy ones.

Amen.

I’m here every Tuesday. Well, every other Tuesday. Except holidays.

CALL ME NOW!

So what is on a Black man’s wishlist, you ask? Good question. And don’t worry ladies, I’m going to ask you for your wishlist too. But let’s pretend like it’s 1947 and you can’t vote. Hmmm, I couldn’t vote then either, huh. Well, I’ll be. Let’s just move on and say, “wait your turn.”

1. A clean slate

Fellas, have you ever had a chick say to you something like, “all I ask is that you don’t do XYZ. My ex used to do that and it drove me crazy.” That, mi amigas, is a very bad way to start a conversation. For one, it implies that you clearly are in your feelings and are going to be extra vigilant in that one area. And it ALSO implies that even the most on-the-fence determination of whatever it is you hate is going to lead to an argument. Leave your ex in the past. Listen to Ne-yo for a while, let him love you, until you learn to love yourself, THEN come thru and let me f*ck up our relationship on my own merits. K? Thanks. Bye.

2. Loyalty

Look, I know, a Black man asking for loyalty reeks of double standardism at worst and naivete at best. But we’re talking a wish list right? That implies a certain optimistic disregard for reality and whether or not you deserve it right? Halle Berry? Hallelujah? Word. So, most Black men want a total ride or die chick which sometimes involves just shutting up and letting us lead or blindly trusting or believing in us. Why do you think so many athletes marry women that don’t seem to fit the athlete stereotype? (They do eventually divorce them for usually much more attractive prototypes, but hey, respect the shooter). Knowing that you’ve got a woman who unequivocally has your back is something that many of us want – though honestly, blind loyalty is also a sign of zealotness in my opinion, so perhaps I have no idea what I’m talking about here.

Personally, I don’t value loyalty over all other things. I expect it because I give it, but I’m not going to trumpet a woman’s loyalty as a sign that I need to lock it down. Hell, that might make her blinded by own vision of what she thinks she wants versus the reality of the situation. Or at least that’s my interpretation of the situation.

3. Level – headed

Sounds like a no brainer. Every woman is going to say, “this list is stupid, you need to date better women.” VSB Unicorn Gangsta Clique. And ain’t nobody fresher than my clique, clique, clique, clique, clique. However, a lot of ninjas on here are full of sh*t. Every woman isn’t level headed, just like every man here isn’t as emotionless and logic-drive as we claim. So ideally, we’d like a woman who keeps her cool before she blows a gasket over something trivial. Realizes that everything isn’t a big deal. Knows that just because you have a friend that’s a woman doesn’t mean that you have slept with her or are going to. Now, mama didn’t raise no fools either so nobody expects her to get run over. And I’d wager that most men don’t want to seriously date a woman who operates as a doormat.

4. A chick who makes decisions.

Scrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Hol’ up hol’ up. I have to make decisions all day, P. Sometimes its nice to come home and not have to figure everything out. Why can’t you just take over then.

I feel you, boo. I said I do I do I do I do I do. But here’s the problem – and it’s not a new one. Me making decisions means me making decisions. Not me making a decision and you 86ing it because even though you don’t know what you want, you know what you don’t want. Like R. Kelly, I wish that you’d either make a decision or just go along for the ride. I also have to make decisions all day and then I have to come home and hope I’m making a decision you like? Nah boo. I study P-I-M-P ology, and logically, be learning these chicks biology, and obviously well…I say hush puppies, we eatin’ hush puppies.

5. Self-confidence and security

While it is not my job to make you more secure as a woman, it is definitely important that I not make you insecure. I’ll do my best. I may suck at it sometimes, but I promise to try to lift you up whenever I can. However, you have to show up high on yourself too. You need to smoke yourself up a bit, smell me? One of the sexxiest things on the planet is a woman with confidence. She doesn’t need to be the type to make others feel below her, but she knows who she is and what she brings to the table. That is sexxy and the woman who carries it the right way is going to win constantly. There’s nothing more engaging and alluring than a first conversation with a woman who is so sure of herself while you know you’re sure of yourself and the jockeying and jostling that occurs during the intial back and forth. A woman who will give you back whatever you dish out but in a fun and non-degrading manner. A woman who doesn’t have to make somebody who did her wrong feel like less than a human but let them know that she also isn’t to be trifled with.

Real talk, look at gawd.

Those are some of the things on a Black man’s wishlist. There are probably a million others. My brothas, what’s on yours. And ladies, what is on your wish list.

And by the way, there were no shots taken during the writing of this post. Get out of your feelings.

What’s on your wishlist??

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka MR. STEAL YOUR GIRL THEN GIVE HER BACK BETTER aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

DMV: A Black Man’s Wishlist – Monday, December 3, 2012, from 7-9PM, hosted by Krystal Glass. Tickets available at www.krystalglassempire.com

Come out and be apart of the convo at Busboys & Poets at 5th and K Streets, NW on Monday. See you there!

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST…MAKE SURE YOU RSVP FOR REMINISCE, THE PARTY DEDICATED TO ALL 90S EVERYTHING!!! FREE WITH RSVP BEFORE 11PM!!!! COME HANG WITH THE COOLEST NINJAS ON THE PLANET AND DRANK FREE TIL 1030! RSVP: http://reminiscedc.eventbrite.com

 

Filed Under:
Damon Young

Panama Jackson is pretty fly for a light guy. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. He believes the children are our future and is waiting to find out if he is the 2nd most interesting man in the world.

  • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

    Primero!

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      Figeurooooooooooooo.

    • That Ugly Kid

      Unooooooooo

      • Marshal

        Los Lllllllooooooccccooooooooosssssss

        • http://pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

          Youzahoooooooo

          • That Ugly Kid

            LUDA!!!

    • http://www.alltherightquestions.com Witty Pseudonym

      Well this chain was THE highlight of my day

    • http://twitter.com/kjnetic Sith King Jordan aka Bruce Lil’ Wayne bka 2 Fitted Hatz

      Two Chainz?

  • iamnotakata

    Loyalty? That word has been diluted so badly, that it really doesn’t mean sh!t to me any more…when bball h0es like Evelyn are throwing that word around as if it applies to them I must disregard it as relevant. However, I understand someone seeking that in a relationship if its real. All in all I find the list to be sensible and attainable if most men choose the well rounded girl i.e. beauty, brains & booty! And not the aspiring Instagram model/ video vixen/ stripper….because lately h0es have been winning!!

    • msdebbs

      Exactly…..why make a wish list and choose the chick that has NONE of those traits??

    • http://VSB StaceLDN

      ‘….because lately h0es have been winning!!’

      1000% agree! I think what men say they want and what they actually go for are two totally different things! They confused! kmt

      • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

        To be fair, this is a universal trait. Men AND women of all races, nationalities and sexual orientations have been on that BS for years.

        • http://VSB StaceLDN

          Yeh i hear you loud and clear sir!

          Some chicks will forget how much of a waster a guy is but they will go NUTS coz he has blue eyes! Same way guys will forget how waste a girl is but will go CRAY coz she got @ss! *Rolls eyes lol

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      why do you think h0es are winning? curious. cuz i dont know that this is true.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        You know who’s been winning a lot recently? Winners.

        • SweetSass

          PROFOUND.

      • iamnotakata

        When I say that I mean it in the sense of these girls out here tricking, naked instagram modeling, dancing for them bands or what not and being put on a pedestal for it,i.e. gaining celebrity, marriage proposals and sh!t.

        Basically what was once taboo is now being accepted as okay behavior and subsequently lowering the value of stock in what would be considered a well rounded wishlist fufilling lady.

        Perhaps it is where I stay the south, Hoodston?

        I actually had more to say, but I’m at work & don’t have time to be writing monologues so here’s a summations.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          lol. its all good. i just dont necessarily think they’re all winning like that. we all clown them relentlessly.

          • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

            Don’t believe the hype. They’re not winning, they’re just gettin all the attention. Like the Tea Party nutjobs during the election. Also they’re just havin fun with whatever happens, which is the only strategy they use that I’d encourage everyone to follow

          • SweetSass

            No ya’ll don’t. How many dudes pledge allegiance every morning to Rosa Acosta or some other chick whose entire resume is located in her derriere?

            • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

              And of what quality do you regard said dudes? Cause I don’t do that shyte

        • mena

          “When I say that I mean it in the sense of these girls out here tricking, naked instagram modeling, dancing for them bands or what not and being put on a pedestal for it,i.e. gaining celebrity, marriage proposals and sh!t.” How many of these women do you know personally? “We’re comparing our behind the scenes to everyone else’s highlight reel.” The highlight reel being what people put up on twitter, instagram, blogs, etc.

          Hoes stay winning with possibly finding men to have sex with or boyfriends. How many of them actually have a ring or a man that is a king? We all need to stop comparing ourselves to celebrities. That’s just another world that many of us won’t gain entrance into.

          Hoes seem to stay winning b/c it is always in our faces.

        • DaysofShon

          I agree hoes are winning. Regardless of whether or not they have a ring. They put out for attention, money and time with a man, and when “men” give it to them, they’ve essentially won. Simply because a man with hoes, won’t see a good woman coming.

      • KENYADIGIT

        I once heard that you should look at who a man has sex with but who he takes care of.

        • KENYADIGIT

          *should not

        • A Woman’s Eyes

          Hmm, who a man loves or has loved speaks volumes.

          • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

            Church! It isn’t the woman that a man is willing to take to bed that matters. It’s the woman than a man is willing to carry out of bed to the hospital that does. Few women know the difference between the two, and it’s sad, because women miss out on a lot of information that way.

      • A Woman’s Eyes

        Truth is that generally, people who do exactly what they want to do and are happy & okay with that , stay winning. Its when people feel guilty, conflicted, worried about what mama and ‘em will think who don’t do what they want to do tend to struggle with happiness.

        • mena

          Good point AWE.

        • http://www.wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

          Yup

        • http://www.alltherightquestions.com T.Q. Fuego

          Pretty much AWE well said

    • A Woman’s Eyes

      “Loyalty? That word has been diluted so badly, that it really doesn’t mean sh!t to me any more”

      It means everything if you are having an asthma attack and need a ride to the ER and he has to go to work.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        “mama…she left me to die…”

        • A Woman’s Eyes

          A man or a woman who is loyal to you is everything, people. Everything. But if you ain’t shit, then he/she is being stupid.

      • mena

        Stop bring up old ish!! That was a post to be remembered :-)

  • http://www.iamyourpeople.com I Am Your People

    And by the way, there were not shots taken during the writing of this post.

    Well allow me to take one: any Black man in DC needs ‘maintaining HIV negative status’ on his wishlist

    • http://twitter.com/kjnetic Sith King Jordan aka Bruce Lil’ Wayne bka 2 Fitted Hatz

      Gunshot Inna De Aiiirrrrrr…..

      • msdebbs

        BOOM!

        • http://www.twitter.com/mcnairian5 Fiveisthenumber

          Yaat, yaat, yaat!!!!

      • http://www.alltherightquestions.com Witty Pseudonym

        OUT ON THE STREETS THEY CALL IT MURRRRDAH

    • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

      Bullet! Bullet! Sad but true…

    • JustSayNo

      POW!

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      no need to relegate that to DC, but given the stats, your point is well taken.

      • SweetSass

        DC has the highest rate of HIV amongst the AA community.

        If DC was a country, it would be much worse in terms of AIDS than most sub-Saharan African countries everyone has already declared epidemics.

    • YeahSo

      Message!

  • http://thejahfiles.blogspot.com/ B. Brown

    Can we add honesty and integrity? Coincidentally, this question came up on Twitter tonight (well, the question was the non-physical trait you appreciate in ‘possibles’). There is just something endlessly attractive about a woman being who/what she says she is and believes in herself enough to retain the fundamental characteristics that make her unique and attractive. This somewhat relates to the common refrain men have about hoping a woman who never changes.

    As the song says: do what you want, be who you are. Ten points to the person who knows the singer(s).

    Shoot, since it’s a wish list…Santa, can I have a baseball fan too? Thanks.

    • http://ladyngo.blogspot.com Lady Ngo

      hall & oates

      • http://thejahfiles.blogspot.com/ B. Brown

        And this is why I love VSB.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      I think its much easier to find a chick who’s a football fan than a baseball fan. Or at least a Black one.

      • http://thejahfiles.blogspot.com/ B. Brown

        Of course it is…at least from my experience. Thing is, I’m too much of a baseball fan and the season is too long to not have a baseball fan on the wish list – especially if I ever splurge and get Extra Innings.

    • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

      I was thinking more “I love you just the way you are.” That song gets me every time.
      “I don’t want clever conversation
      I never want to work that hard
      I just want someone that I can talk to…”

      • http://thejahfiles.blogspot.com/ B. Brown

        See, this works too. Now I have to listen to that song at some point today.

        • kid video

          Aint that Lou Rawls?

          • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

            Billy Joel!

            • GirlSixx

              *Swoons*

      • Asiyah

        Billy Joel!

    • SweetSass

      But what if “who she really is” is not pleasing to a man? Should she still be herself? There is a flipside to this ya’ll never deal with.

      Plus, how realistic is it to expect no one will change from 18 to 84? I would think there is something wrong with someone who doesn’t change.

      • Ms. Bridget

        Yeah, the idea is not to stay the same, it’s to grow in the same direction

    • Brother Mouzone

      D-TRAIN

  • I Am Kefka, The Mad God! Let Dementia and Insanity Overtake You!

    1. Nani In Every Flavor

    My first kiss was with a red-headed white girl. But to this day, I’ve only smanged black women. Not a problem. I just want to mix it up a little. I just want to taste a little of everything just so I can say I had the experience.

    2. A woman who can Electric/Cha-Cha Slide

    Scientific studies show that women who can’t do these dances, can’t take d!ck in the bedroom. Don’t ask what studies I got this from, just shut up and believe me.

    3. Trust

    I’m a monogamous dude. I don’t like cheating. It’s not my style. I’m not the dude who’s gonna question you about where you been/going, but once the secrets and lies start, I’m out.

    4. Into Sports

    Self-Explanitory.

    5. Geekdom

    A woman who’s into comics is nice. One who plays, and is actually good, videogames is even better. A chick who’d rather see Iron Man 3, than Sex and the City 3.

    6. Secure

    Don’t be insecure. Don’t ask for me to be honest, then when we go out, point to the prettiest chick in the building, and ask if you’re prettier.

    • http://thejahfiles.blogspot.com/ B. Brown

      Um…if the situation described in #6 occurs and you don’t use a mirror, you’re doing it wrong.

      • That Ugly Kid

        The problem is, I shouldn’t have to. Don’t point out some gorgeous chick and ask me if I would ruin her insides. Because I would. But in order to keep the peace/ensure I continue to have the coitus with you, I’m going to lie and say “No”.

        • http://thejahfiles.blogspot.com/ B. Brown

          I agree with that. I guess I’m just the overly expressive one – longtime VSBs and VSSs, be quiet – but if it ever came to that I’d drop the DL Hughley line (I don’t see you with my eyes, I see you with my soul) and keep it moving.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      I’ve never had #6 happen. Many of the women I know will point out very attractive women. Now, they’ll make sure to emphasize that the also are bad as well. lol

      • That Ugly Kid

        I’ve had #6 happen a few times. She’d ask if I’d date/smash our cute waitress or whatever and I’d have to be like “Noooo, you know you’re the ONLY one for me right, cheese t!ts?”

        And there was a few times when my ex would ask me if I would date one of her fine azz, big booty, bestfriends if I wasn’t with her. I’d straight up admit to that sh!t, though. I told my ex I would smash her friend, and her friend’s sister, who’s azz was even phatter.

    • A Woman’s Eyes

      Given your age, that list is reasonable. You’ll be good.

  • http://testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

    I literally heard a chick tell her friend “Decisions are hard; that’s why I don’t make too many on my own.” So I understand the “making decisions” but part of the loyalty that you have on the wishlist trusts that as the man you’ll make decisions for the unit and so doesn’t that negate the “making decisions” part? o.O

    As for my own lil wishlist…
    Well…

    1) Respect.
    2) Honesty.
    3) A willingness to let me be occasionally irrational. This one bears explaining, but I know when I’m being irrational, and my dude knows that I know I’m being irrational, but he’ll let me talk through being irrational to the point where it’s silly and… Yeah. Gimme maybe 15 minutes of wishful, irrational thinking without thinking I’m starting a fight or being insane.
    4) Be untraditionally romantic. Lilies instead of roses. Walks in the rain instead of picnics in the park. Unique, quirky things that don’t just shout “HEY I’M BEING ROMANTIC RIGHT NOW and/or SO WE’RE HAVING SEX LATER, RIGHT?!”
    5) Tell me I’m beautiful, funny, smart and overall dope damnit . Sure, it may come off as me being insecure, OR it could come off as me not really knowing if you’re with me because it’s not a lot of work or because you genuinely enjoy things about me.

    That’s all I got.

    • http://www.twitter.com/pleasefeedthedj ChaoticDiva

      Cosigning on #3. I’m not perfect so don’t expect perfection.

      • Sweet GA Brown

        I agree. Just shut iup and let me get on my soap box built of Imrightandaintnobodygonnaconvincemeotherwise.

        • http://testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

          Sisters of my soul \O/!!!

    • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

      I love #4. Don’t telegraph your intentions, and it’ll work better.

      • http://testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

        It really does. Hit me in the face (figuratively of course) with your quirky romance and my hormones are definitely gonna take over.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      i’m slow and its Friday. how exactly is the making decisions part negated? use smaller words. lol

      • YeahSo

        O_o

      • http://testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

        Well Uncle PJ, from how I’m looking at it you want her to trust and be loyal to you and the decisions you make as a man, right? So if you make a decision for ya’ll as a unit what does she have to decide? She pretty much just has to get on the bus and roll, at least that’s the way I interpreted it.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          okay. i’m not talking about monumental decisions like buying a house.

          im talking about going to find something eat if i ask. or just the trivial stuff that gets you to the monumental stuff in life.

        • DG

          Yeah, I think he means small decisions here, not big decisions. I’ve noticed several VSS (and women in general) comment on how they wish a man would make a decision instead of asking “what do you want do tonight” or “where do you wanna eat?” If he says “Let’s go to the (local) high school basketball game and then go to Red Lobster for some garlic cheddar biscuits…” he’s actually making a decision. If the woman counters with “I want to go the ____ exhibit at the museum, and I’m not really feeling seafood…let’s get sushi…” she’s actually negating his decision with her own….which brings us full circle to why he asked “what do you want to do tonight?” in the first place.
          This actually happens all the time. If we suggest something, the relative success of the night largely depends on the woman enjoying herself. Men (and many women) are generally pretty flexible and easy to please…but ya’ll often dictate the social events/planning of a relationship.

          • DG

            As an aside, I do realize that sushi is technically seafood, but it ain’t RED LOBSTER-type seafood. lol

          • http://testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

            You and Uncle Panama have fully answered the question DG.

            And why don’t they sell sushi at The Red Lobster? o.O

  • http://www.iamyourpeople.com I Am Your People

    My wish list-

    1) That Black Friday sales applied to the cosmetics counter. Those Clarisonic Mias and Nars Foundation were still full price everywhere. Macy’s, Nordstrom, Sephora, ULTA… *weeps*

    2) The end of ratchet nude self-twitpics. Why do people think it’s a good idea to show off t1ttes hanging at the belly button or micro-penii? And why do I only have myself to blame for following such ratchet people?

    3) An honest and faithful man. And a unicorn.

    • msdebbs

      you might have a better chance of getting that unicorn…ijs

    • http://valsotherblog.wordpress.com Val

      I love Sephora. I don’t do Black Friday but if Sephora was going to sell L’Occitane shea butter at half price on Black Friday, I’d camp out. With a tent and everything.

      • http://www.twitter.com/mcnairian5 Fiveisthenumber

        That sounds French for “we put gasoline in this shit!”

    • chameleonic

      *trademarks the term unicorn*

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      I’m often amazed at the types of nude pics that pop up on twitter. people have on shame whatsoever anymore.

      • YeahSo

        lol

    • http://quietstormbeauty.com Alia

      IAYP,
      Make sure you become a Beauty Insider at Sephora. You may not get black friday prices, but those coupons help out.

  • Never

    I wish for:

    One part Sade’s laconicism.

    One part Dominican Poison’s…um, her Dominican Poison-ness (save the burgeoning mustache).

    One part Gina Torres’ lips, two parts Toni Morrison’s mind, a pinch of whatever Erykah Badu has that makes dudes zonk out after they date her (because clearly a crotch full is too much), and a 5’10″ frame to pour it all into.

    Probably better wish for a good divorce lawyer because I’d screw all that perfection up somehow…

    • http://valsotherblog.wordpress.com Val

      +1 on Sade.

    • chameleonic

      oooooh, constructing your ideal womans attributes as a wishlist? #swaggerjacked! i want in on this…

      one: will smith in irobot sized (6’3 215ish)
      two: um…hm…i like those bball shorts/huge sleeveless shirt/wifebeater looks a dude rocks
      three: obsidians attitude and tone

      thats pretty much it. im not really too choosey on the physical but i like em tall and beefy and dressed comfortably and i want him to have a very ‘i am omnicient and i look down upon you little one’ kinda aura. but i want him to GENUINELY be above me and sorta imposing. that way its sexy.

      • Sweet GA Brown

        WOW!!! Obsidian’s attitude and tone…

        Thats deep. Could you please elaborate on that?

        • Sweet GA Brown

          Nevermind. I guess the “i want him to have a very ‘i am omnicient and i look down upon you little one’ kinda aura. but i want him to GENUINELY be above me and sorta imposing” explains it.

          • mena

            Hmmm…I don’t know about the word imposing…

            • chameleonic

              yeah, i couldnt really describe the feeling so i went with ‘imposing’. but i meant very….if im getting dressed and he knows i feel kinda odd around him he comes in the room anyway and talks about something relaxing and suddenly im good getting dressed around him now. putting himself around me when im uncomfortable and soothing me.

          • chameleonic

            @ sweet

            i kinda feel like obsidian exists purely as a conceptual feeling. i always feel like a woman in his threads, like im at home listening to the head of household who genuinely has a top down perspective on the world, but i still feel valued in having my own. hes easy to be around.

            • http://www.wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

              Uh……..nevermind.

              • http://becauseimwrite.net Muze

                LOL

    • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

      Dominican Poison needs a bigger butt. Adding 8 inches would do the trick. Just don’t go see that doc who messed up ol’ girl from the vid African Mami posted yesterday.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      i like how you realized hte divorce lawyer belongs on teh list. that’s self-awareness like a mug.

    • Asiyah

      I’m Dominican and I want to know what you are referring to as “Dominican’s Poison”? Unless you mean people from Dominica, not DR. I’m curious lol

      • niksmit

        Madam they are referring to a who, not a what.
        I’d be careful with searching her–sounds like a porn star.

      • Never

        Dominican Poison is an extremely busty, fairly fluffy former cam “model”. For some reason I’ve always attracted busty women; DD – H. .oO(H? Yep, that one ex was an “H” cup.) <– thought bubble

        Absolutely no disrespect intended; I love P.R. and D.R. culture!

        • Asiyah

          OMG AHAHAHAHAHA I will google her when I get home!

          #Pride

  • msdebbs

    I have to admit I’m that chick that knows what she doesn’t want but doesn’t know what she wants…hey it’s the indecisive Libra in me don’t hate. I think you list is reasonable except the loyalty part. Men aren’t loyal. Yeah I said it. You can’t expect me to follow you off a cliff when I know you walking off a dang cliff! I’m sorry hun but I can’t be loyal to a person knowing first chance he gets he’s jumping off the ship leaving me standing there like boo boo the fool.

    • Eve

      ditto on the indecisive Libra-ness

    • https://twitter.com/#!/IluminatiNYC Todd

      Don’t throw me on the indecisive pile. Libra FO’ LYYYYYYYYFE! lol

      • A Woman’s Eyes

        WOOOOO!

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      I’m sorry. I’m not letting your Zodiac sign get you off the hook.

    • Asiyah

      “I have to admit I’m that chick that knows what she doesn’t want but doesn’t know what she wants…”

      not a Libra but I relate to this sooooo much.

  • fromcletodal

    How about a woman who can admit when she is wrong? I have yet to meet a woman who volunteers to admit she made a mistake.

    • That Ugly Kid

      We’ve been down this road before, bruh. Despite the numerous men on here (and elsewhere) who say the same thing, every single female on VSB will lament how they can admit when they’re wrong, and make it seem as if women like them (rational women) are commonplace by saying things along the lines of, “Well, I don’t know what kind of women ya’ll are dating but…”.

      • SheWhoMustBeObeyed

        Pride, ego, stubbornness, stupidity, overly high sense of self, etc. Take your pick… the reasons are infinite. I try to admit I’m wrong most of the time, but the truth of the matter is sometimes it’s just too difficult and humiliating, so I’ll stand my ground and look even more foolish!! It’s human nature – the trick is to find someone with balance. Someone who can swallow their words when it counts.

        Actually, I think if you find someone who ALWAYS admits they’re wrong, there may be some low self esteem/doormat issues there. Too much of anything is bad for you right? The ideal person is never perfect but always a bit… off kilter. I’m just hypothesizing here so feel free to take my words with a grain of salt…

        Anyways, that’s enough pseudo-psychology/ranting for me. Good luck gentlemen!!

      • http://testorshia.blogspot.com Tes

        ^^^ What he said.

        Personally, I don’t admit I’m wrong (to other people) because it happens so rarely I think they’ll forget about or miss it.

      • fromcletodal

        They always think it’s not them. Most guys just don’t argue back because it’s deny, deny, deny. Once their argument has no more merit, they try to deflect and bring up something else that absolutely nothing to do with the situation at hand. We both know the truth.

        • msdebbs

          well when your almost never wrong theres nothing to admnt to…

          • msdebbs

            sorry…admit

          • That Ugly Kid

            A woman saying she’s almost never wrong is like a man saying he’s almost never horny. And it kinda proves my point. I bet you were wrong way more than “almost never”, but either are in denial, or the dude told you he was wrong just to shut you up (as we often do). Men are wrong a lot, women are wrong a lot. That’s life.

            • YeahSo

              no

              • That Ugly Kid

                Yes.

                • YeahSo

                  I got you something… \_

                  • That Ugly Kid

                    Cool, I got something you can sit on as well…

                    8===========D

          • Kema

            Me wrong? Doesnt happen much

      • SweetSass

        I can perfectly understand why most of the guys who post here cannot attract those type of women. Thus they think the women they can attract are representative of all women.

        Bang. Bang.

    • Marshal

      Accountability is THE Lost Unicorn of Women, and a Perfect Wish for the (Black) Man’s Wishlist

      • A Woman’s Eyes

        *snickers* because I recently apologized to a male friend for being an azzhole.

        Women like me do exist.

    • http://www.styleillusions.com WIP

      There are many of us out there. It’s just something that comes with time and the increased desire for peace and quiet as well as peace of mind.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        so its more strategic than anything? lol. i like it.

      • Shuga_B

        Agreed.

    • The Guy Formerly Know As Hmmmm

      Man, you hit it with this one. This one is a part of my “wish upon a distant star, you delusional dumb Ass” list along with winning the power ball and a threesome with Naturi Naughton and the chick that plays Michonne on The Walking Dead. All possible and worth fantasizing about because we exist in the same world at the same time….. But more likely not to happen ever, ever.

      I’m convinced there is a different type of woman that frequents this blog or I am in the wrong city, which is really possible. When a woman is seriously wrong in my life and it is undeniable I often don’t get apologies. I often get tears or attempts at seduction.

      • chameleonic

        thats my girl!!! i instigate SO hard when she does her katana slice and dice. ‘OOOOOOOOH SON, she got you oooooooh.’ lol. but shes awesome. so adept yet so compassionate and you just know her capability. man. and i do believe her name is denai guerriera (sp).

        anywho…i never admit when im wrong because im entirely too careful and thorough for it to matter that i am. im more so apologetic but even then its under my breath. but if im like…’i apologize’….and youre all…’what was that??’ ill clear my throat and clarify what im saying whilst looking everywhere but at you. << this never happens.

      • A Woman’s Eyes

        One of my sexy male friends told me about Michonne :)

    • Asiyah

      maybe…just maybe…being as how women are ALWAYS to blame, our refusal to admit when we are wrong is our way of rebelling against the very society that seems to blame women for everything wrong in the world.

      • A Woman’s Eyes

        Naw, a refusal to admit when you are wrong is a chip on the shoulder.

        • Asiyah

          the possibilities are many, girl.

    • Shuga_B

      I can admit when im wrong for the most part, im still a work in progress, it may take me a minute and a whole lotta of pride digestion but i will do it, and its not always easy cuz im a researcher by nature, so if there is an ickling that even a portion of what im saying is right Im holding on for dear life..lol.

      For me its knowing that alot of times I’m fighting to be right just because the a*hole in me doesnt want to feel the ego bruise, and Im learning sometimes you just gotta take that L….plus I’ve noticed that when i fall back and acknowledge my wrong over him being right strokes his ego a lil bit…