Go to any barbershop, beauty salon, or HBCU in America and you’ll hear beaucoup Black folks chopping it up about stuff that’s Black. And what with Chili’s baby-hair line, the monstrosity that is the Basketball Wives show (why for come its called Wives when there’s only one actual current wife and she’s fixin’ to get divorced), and crime in the Black part of town, a lot of us are right. But, there are some things that we lay claim to that really ain’t as Black owned as we’d like to think.
Such as?
Glad you asked.
And it goes a little something like this.
1) Kool – Aid
Before the commercial featured a Black family singing red Kool-Aid carols and waxing poetically about cabinetry, it was a white family doing the same thing. Hell, there’s a reason they sell it 10 packs for a dollar.
White people are poor too.
In fact…peep this:
2) Soul Food
Maybe upnorf White folks don’t rock with Ceelo Green and Khujo Goodie, but down South, we all eat the same sh*t. Sure, some of the seasonings might be different but Becky Sue Ann and Quiltaynket Jenkins are both eating the same thing for Thanksgiving in the Mississippi Delta: chitlins. Or chitterlings for you bougie ninjas who manage to think you can be both bougie and eat pig intestines at the same time. Yousonasty. Oh, and you can’t.
Speaking of food…
3) Grits
While I personally can’t stand grits, I realize that it’s part of the Black national food trifecta of chicken, fish, and grits. And yes I just made it up. Lucky for you I’m still sexxy. Anyway, its a popular misconception that grits is a Black dish. No. It’s a poor dish. Poor white and Black folks have been sharing poor stories over grits for eons. In fact, I’m pretty sure that’s what started the abolitionist movement – some white chap wanting to make sure he could get as much grits as possible after he moved up North and made something of himself. And you thought the Underground Railroad was about freedom. Naw, son. That sh*t was about grits.
4) Ridiculous Names
Sure we tend to get WAY more creative with our ridiculous names than our white counterparts, but I’m saying, Apple? Moon Rocket? Chaos? Felony? You bet your ass those were white kids being named those things. It’s the same sh*t, different toilet. Us Blacks folks, we create names. White people just take something that’s currently in the dictionary and attach it to their kid, no matter how ridiculous. Moonbeam, I’m looking at you.
5) Taking on the “man”
American Revolution anybody? They big leagued the hell out of Great Britain, son!
6) Newports
Oh wait, that really is some Black sh*t. According to a poll, nearly half of all Black folks smoke Newports.
6) The Black market
Sure we like to bootleg movies Newports, batteries, Assistant Coach purses and Goochey, but them South Americans are on that real bootleg stuff. How about cocaine? That guy you know selling drugs, he’s small change compared to the dude in South America with the whole field. Shucks, they make whole movies about Pablo Escobar and the Medellin Cartel. Your boy BooBoo from 24th Street who just got locked up on a humble didn’t even make the 6 o’clock news.
7) Gangs
Despite the pesky insistence on the spreading of the Blood gang out to the East coast and the cache of the Bloods and Crips in LA, and all the gazillion gangs (under the Folk and Peoples umbrella) in Chicago and New York, Mexicans and South American cats are crazy with theirs. MS-13 is freakin’ everywhere. I hear they just started a chapter on the moon next to the University of Michigan Alumni Chapter. Add to the myriad Asian gangs in California and I’m wondering who in Cali isn’t in a gang? Well aside from Brandy, but she’s rapping now so…
Being dumb as being hot in the streets
Glad to say we don’t have the market cornered here since I went to high school with plenty of white kids who loved not being smart. I think we just go so hard with it. I remember sitting in English class one day and a classmate of mine trying to argue that he didn’t speak no English because that was some white sh*t. I’m pretty sure he never got the concept of irony. In a weird twist of fate, I hear Sarah Palin tapped him to be her speech writer since she’s talking that sh*t too. Yeah, I made that up. So what of it?
Hmm, I can’t have them all. Good ninjas and non-ninjas of VSB, what else do we always cite as being some Black sh*t that really runs the rainbow (no Hill Harper)?
Correction…I know your father.
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL, HE A 3
Cheap booze is like this too. Everyone cracks on black people for drinking Old English and Colt 45 and cheap-ass malt liquor… ask that WHITE homeless person what his drink of choice is and it would make any black alcoholic cringe. Manischewitz? Thunderbird? Oh, hell no. That bum wine tastes like Benadryl and gasoline.
To clarify on the stupid-ass names category: black people may add a lot of unnecessary syllables (an abundance of “quas” usually) but white people will just do a lot of unnecessary spelling. Kaytelinne. Joeannah. Breattinny. This ain’t Wheel of Fortune, gtfoh with all that consonant foolishness.
As for the cigarettes… you know what they call Marlboro Reds? Cowboy Killers. *drops the mic because point is made*
Russians are the KINGS of cheap alcohol! In Jan, the govt had to set a minimum price of 89 roubles ($3) b/c people were getting it for the low and becoming a nation of alcoholics. And thats barely distilled vodka…Colt 45 can’t compete with that kind of buzz!
Before I start I must say that watching white people in black and white gives me the f^cking creeps. I thought that first kool-aid commercial was goin to turn into a d@mn horror movie. But anyway lets get started…
1. Black women and Head- Whoever lied and said that black women dont give head is a mothaf^cking lie. Black women love to give head. Black women have those big c00n lips especially designed for given head.(yeah I said c00n)
2. White Women have got some fat azzes- Over these past few months I have seen some of the biggest bootied white women the 13 colonies has had to offer.
3. Chicken- U think black people only love chicken, H3ll NAW. White people love chicken they fry it, bake, broil it, boil it, roast, bbq it, they have so many ways they like chicken. I guess they had so much practice frying, burning, and tying negroes so many ways that they take it out on good wholesome white chicken now. N they even like to suck their fingers when they’re done.
4. White people dont like the cops either- But its just the fact that they wont get their azz beat like we will when talkin slick.
5. Teeanage pregnancy-U thought it was only pregnant black chicks in America, na na. The difference is that when white girls have the baby their mother’s go in hiding, then lie and say its theirs. Tune in to mtv and lifetime.
I cnt think of anymore at this moment, but when I do. You all will be the first to know.
i was going to put cops up there initially. then i watched Boyz N Tha Hood and decided that the police only really hated Black people. that and Black pepper.
All quality adds!
- The city: The Baltimore, DC, and Richmond that exists today isn’t quite the same one that existed when I was growing up. You should’ve seen the absolute shock on my face when I found out that white people live in Church Hill now.*
*Disclaimer: I’ve yet to actually see said white people, but I’ve just been told that they live there.
well I have seen white folks in Bed-Stuy in and in neighborhoods in DC that were formerly only for the drug dealers and dope fiends like Bloomingdale, Shaw, and Ledroit Park (you know after its glory days dried up and crack b/c what was hot in the streets)
See I was reading this and everything was fine until I got to “Assistant Coach purses,” which at that immediate point, I fell out! LMBO. But yea why do ppl like Coach so much?
*goes to finish reading post*
you know you have an asst coach purse.
oooomg i’m so slow. i didn’t get that at first. but now, i’m dead. lmbo.
@cheekie,
I felt like that until they opened the coach outlet here. You can get a “non C” purse for under $200…i’ll pay $200 for a quality leather purse that won’t go out of style next season.
“But yea why do ppl like Coach so much?”
I’m one of the few folks that don’t really go gaga over Coach. Maybe it’s because I’m not a fan of logos all over my purse. I’ve seen some cute Coach bags, but ones that don’t have the C’s splattered all over them.
I’ve seen some cute Coach bags, but ones that don’t have the C’s splattered all over them.
I’m the same way. I only like the designer bags that aren’t trying so hard to let people know they are designer.
Tigole booties are becoming less and less the domain of sistahs, as plastic surgery has led to donks being available to everyone.
Ridiculous cars/Nascar Race Jackets. Every nationality has their dbag-modded out car of choice. Ricers, dune buggies, lowriders etc.
All genres we invented.
Apparently Stepping.
Grillz
speaking of Grillz…i wonder who did the first one. like doesnt that dude deserve a Lifetime Achievement Award at the Source Awards…or at the very least the Ozone Awards since Southern rappers took that sh*t to a whole new level?
I beg to differ, for the person that I think took it to a whole ‘nother level was my 7th grade Texas history teacher. shiiii it’s been so long that I can’t remember her name, yes HER name. oh and she smoked Newports too. I don’t know why I knew the brand because I was like 11 or 12 and I never actually saw the pack on her desk with a lighter next to it, but that I know the smell of Newports when I ummm….. smell it. Soufwest Houston at its best
The REAL booty will ALWAYS belong to Black women. We are the Original AZZ! No one can deny that. You’re right though, this plastic surgery is working wonders for the ones who wanna be down
Fighting- See most black people have this belief that they just will not lose to a white dude/female. But I have seen many a white dudes come out with the crazy fist a put a ninja to sleep.
yeah, i think the problem is b/c most Black cats think that their darkness will scare off pinky. but truth is…there are a lot of white dudes who don’t care what color you are. disrespect is disrespect.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=niIQU8_y_7s&NR=1
Case in point.
@ Pretty Please…freakin hilarious!
Watermelon, I don’t get that one.
That’s just a picnic staple for all races ya know.
word life. they sell that sh*t in the whitest of white places. lol.
No kidding, and plus haven’t you seen those square watermelons? Who in the world wouldn’t like that?!
Chicken and Watermelon.
I live in Korea and let me tell you, KOREANS LOVE BOTH IN ABUNDANCE with abandon, ok? Chicken and beer joints all over the place and Watermelon is THE fruit in the summer time.
what exactly is your avatar? like, its been bothering me for a while that I cant figure it out.
“what exactly is your avatar? like, its been bothering me for a while that I cant figure it out.”
It reminds me of those little games in the Sunday paper that I used to
hateplay. The ones that have the illusion where you have to cross your eyes and guide your nose toward the center in order to see the hidden picture or some ish?I thought it was a lawn chair covered in that upholstery that you find on couch’s at ya’ grandma’s best friends house.
…and I am in Japan and the Japanese TOTALLY love them both too.
Def agree with you on the gang thing…..heck thuggery in general! They got lil kids in South America and other places shooting up people (not saying that’s a good thing). straight ninja ish right there. and by ninja, i mean ninja, not the other word
and by ninja, i mean ninja, not the other word
samurai??
Here’s one that trips me out: SHOPLIFTING.
Some of the biggest boosters I knew were 2520′s. Because they know security won’t follow them in stores, they go five finger discount crazy. When I was in college, we would go to the local Pamida. You get a few boosters and like 2 black folks. Security would follow the blacks and the 2520′s were filling shopping lists all willy nilly!
If it wasn’t nailed down or tagged electronically, it walked and walked hard!
yeah, well theft knows no color. or at least thats what the judge told me…
Absolutely! I had a co-worker who furnished his ENTIRE house with stolen goods. I’m talking about walking into Wal-mart, loading up his cart with stuff like a vacuum cleaner, mirrors, towels and other household items and just walking out like he paid for it. Crazy…
They definitely have the lock on that market for real.
“2520′s” – I need to know where that comes from. I’m ready for that to be my new word, I just have to know its legit.. someone holler at me.
http://www.verysmartbrothas.com/glossary see the glossary.
Similar to The Tall One, I am in China right now and let me say they can’t EVER associate chicken and watermelon with us again. They sell huge fried chicken drumsticks on sticks on the corner along with corn on the cob. They also serve watermelon IN THE CLUB and after every meal.They chomp on sunflower seeds and throw them wherever and the list goes on and on. I will never accept the term “ghetto” again. lol
whoa whoa…watermelon in the club? lol. i’d LOVE to see that.
“let me get a shot of patron and a slice of that wataaah-melon you got back there!”
“HAI!”
okay, i’m going to hell for that one.
“wataaah-melon”
LMBO! Yeah… ya just might be seeing hell for that one.
OMG Watermelon in the club? Are you kidding me? The visual alone is enough to make me choke laughing. Man, I would pay some SERIOUS money to see that. What part of China?
They are also big on sunflower seeds in Spain. Them thangs are Universal.
“They also serve watermelon IN THE CLUB and after every meal.”
HAHA, would love to see that. It reminds me of my coworker who says her family cuts open watermelon slices and pour vodka into them and serve them at family outings and ish. Sounds good. lol
“HAHA, would love to see that. It reminds me of my coworker who says her family cuts open watermelon slices and pour vodka into them and serve them at family outings and ish. Sounds good. lol”
That does sound good. I’m going to use that one.
you can do this with a whole watermelon before you cut it.
the day before cut two holes in the top, and stick a bottle of vodka in one.let it drain into the watermelon…keep checking on it to make sure it doesn’t overflow, but it should be good.
next day, cut slice serve. and pass the eff out.
um….i was going to say chicken, but that’s been covered, so nevermind.
poverty-when i was in school and the white folk would try to act like black people had a patent on poverty, i would always do them the favor of pointing out some strugglin white people. see, they tend to overlook poor 2520′s so they can’t be included in the white census. oh, no! not on my watch…..i think this belongs to you.
that just further proves that white people are more classist than racist. dont get me wrong, they love them some racism, but they hate poor white folks.
“dont get me wrong, they love them some racism, but they hate poor white folks.” <= LMAO
ghettos-while we may have had them on lock at one time, prior to Black folks living in them , there was some pwt in them, irish immigrants was some of the poorest folks into this country, not to mention the rest of the immigrants from whenst they came & then there’s always trailer parks, far as i can see on cops & local news, (i am in Flawda you know ), they will give any said ninja ghetto a run for their money
well the ghetto thing is our own fault for trying to flip that into some sign of being real. word to Plies.
Co-sign on soul food. 2520′s down south keep their cardiologists just as busy as blacks do.
Thing that’s not black: Basketball. Started by an old Canadian white man in Kansas, basketball may be black at the highest level in this country but all races play across Europe, Asia, and Africa. Those white kid son your favorite team with tons of random silent h’s, t’s, and k’s in their last names prove that.
yeah they will. lol. where i went to high school, the white high school would constantly son the all dark high school.
Hair weave and wigs:
Blacks, specifically women, do not have this on lock down. Men and women have been wearing other types of hair (or horses and yaks) for centuries. Check out British parliament or pictures from past European royal families.
yeah, George Washington had a mean wig collection. and i’ll bet money if he could rock a lacefront in the 1700s, he would have.
Good one!
3) Grits
While I personally can’t stand grits, I realize that it’s part of the Black national food trifecta of chicken, fish, and grits. And yes I just made it up. Lucky for you I’m still sexxy. Anyway, its a popular misconception that grits is a Black dish. No. It’s a poor dish. Poor white and Black folks have been sharing poor stories over grits for eons. In fact, I’m pretty sure that’s what started the abolitionist movement – some white chap wanting to make sure he could get as much grits as possible after he moved up North and made something of himself. And you thought the Underground Railroad was about freedom. Naw, son. That sh*t was about grits.
what on EARTH do you mean?? grits ARE black – in fact, it’s African… here we call it morogo – or ‘soft porridge’ in english -i hate hate hate it…. i remember my first visit to the american south, all eager to try those exotic-sounding soul food and southern dishes i’d read about all those years, and the sheer disappointment of being served with my first bowl of grits…. i was like ‘these people are not serious about serving me motogo and calling it grits!!!! whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?????’
i’ll bet money that every culture has a Grits dish that dates back to the beginning of time. i mean, its grits. ain’t nothing to it.
^Yup. In Italy they call it polenta…it’s still grits.
sh!t, just in case i get sliced by the other VSB south african readers…. when i said
“here we call it morogo – or ’soft porridge’ in english” – meant, moTogo…pronounced with a hard g.
do you know what a hard G is?? no? it’s that guttural-y sounding letter, a bit rougher than the ‘ich’ in german….hope that helps
#6 Black Market
Let’s add handbags & CDs to this list.
None of us own any shops putting 3rd world country kids to work making Louis Vuitton, Kate Spade & Hermes bags.
And we are NOT the reason that CDs are becoming extinct even if my cousin & them sell new releases for $5 at the barbershop. 2520s been downloading since the days before Napster…they don’t want to pay for music either.
100 years from now when people talk about the most signifcant inventions ever, if Napster isn’t in the top 10…well, i’ll be dead so it wont matter.
but napster will belong there.
When I was in Vietnam and China (yeah Im being pretentious right now) recently, all the 2520 kids on our trip ate up the fact that they were buying bootleg uggs, nothface, coach, louis v, dolche and gabana, marc jacobs, nike, and many a million other brands. I on the other hand was like I aint buying no bootleg coach gtfohwtbs. Considering all that stuff is assembled there it technically isnt bootleg, though you will catch some designs those designers have never made.
all that to say my asian cousins got the bootleg market on lock and the 2520′s love it
LOL! I love this!
I remember those old kool-aid commercials with big kool-aid standing out on the lawn with the white picket fence…all the little white kids gathered around..and the one token minority. That is dead on!
Grits – Shoot Paula Deen and ‘em love grits and Soul Food! Grits are delicious. Why didn’t Florida Evans ever cook grits..it was always that lumpy azz oatmeal..wasn’t it?
Can’t speak on Gangs in detail..but It does seem like Hispanics have this Gang warfare thing..kinda on lock.
Ridiculous azz names – You aint never lied…”Apple” really? Only difference is we can venture a guess as to how to spell the names they pick..not so much with our folks..lol. Anfernee? Do you mean Anthony? How are we pronouncing this? Was there an error?
We did not have slavery on lock…slavery dates all the way back to ancient Roman society. It was very commonplace for Roman elite to acquire and own slaves…I believe they were mostly Caucasian.
“We did not have slavery on lock…slavery dates all the way back to ancient Roman society. It was very commonplace for Roman elite to acquire and own slaves…I believe they were mostly Caucasian.”
shoot even Whitley’s family had slaves.
“shoot even Whitley’s family had slaves.”
bwahaahaa. i heart you for this comment. A Different World is the sole reason i went to Spelman. bwahaha.
@panama jackson…
“We did not have slavery on lock…slavery dates all the way back to ancient Roman society. It was very commonplace for Roman elite to acquire and own slaves…I believe they were mostly Caucasian.”
shoot even Whitley’s family had slaves.
lmbao…ima need you to stop watching A Different World late at night!
I gotta add on to the names thing. The stereotypical 2520 names for the so-called upper crust are utterly ridiculous and ghetto too. Muffy, Buffy, & Biff sound ridiculous. There’s some reality show about socialites in NY and the lead person’s name is “Tinsley Mortimer”. Are you serious? Not a good name.
I also want to add that historically ‘ghetto’ was the phrase for neighborhoods where all the Jewish people live, especially in European countries.
Plastic on furniture and keeping the china or “good dishes” perpetually in the display case/cabinet is not only a black thing.
The drive-by is not only a black thing.
So before I can even get to the list…I must comment on the first paragraph of the whole thing….
Can someone puhleez kill Chili’s baby hair line (and Brandy’s too while you’re at it). iCan’t even pay attention to the actual things going on in the show because I am mesmerized that people are still going in public with their baby hair
toothbrushed to the front!!!!And since we are on VH1, let’s submit new names for the “Basketball Wives” show. As Panama said, there’s only one wive and that relationship seems rocky at best. Everyone else is a baby’s mother, ex-fiancee, divorcee’, and maybe a girlfriend? I kind of feel like the word “wife” should feel disrespected by Shaunie’s use of the word in the title of this ishshow….
(yes, I’ll probably still watch all of the above) smh @ myself…I’m a reality show junkie
i’ll probably only watch the Brandy & Ray J show b/c it entertains me. Chili’s show is ridiculous and her hairs annoys me almost as much as she does. And the Basketball Broads show is sort of retarded. Like whats the reason this show exists aside from painting Royce as a ho, and the rest of these trollops as opportunists with no real claim to sh*t aside from banging somebody who’s worth something to white guys. I have no clue why Shaq is upset at this show. He wants to get back at Shaunie, have them reup the contract on these chicks. They’re not interesting at all.
You could call that train wreck Basketfail Hoes or Jumpshot Jumpoffs.
win!
i watched these shows and had to do a whole post on it.
BBall Former and Future BabyMamas is a better name.
and Chilli’s baby hair is ri-damn-diculous. and so is Brandy’s. and Ray J and the church van? stop. those two seem very immature for their age too. it’s sad.
Immature for their age is a HUGE UNDERSTATEMENT. Ray J in theory is grown, but in action he’s the equivalent of a 15 year old boy. Their mother is ridiculous with her overbearing ways. I mean, it’s one thing to protect your kids and their interests, but it’s quite another to just baby the sh*t out of them. Brandy is damn 30 years old…somebody needs to let mama Norwood know that the milk has dried up so she can put her boob away and cut them GROWN kids loose into the world.
Wow…I actually hate that show because of the mother. Don’t hate their mom, but her actions annoys the sh*t outta me.
“And since we are on VH1, let’s submit new names for the “Basketball Wives” show.”
“Basketball Vh1 Famewhores”?
@Cheekie……ooh! Let me play!
“Who NOT To Be When You Grow Up”
“Reasons to Keep Your Legs Closed….(even if his net worth is sky-high)”
“Girl, Sit DOWN!”
Names too long?
I sure as hell can’t pay attn when Brandy’s on the screen because her lacefront edges annoy and slighty disgust me and it’s ALL I focus on.
@ Hawaii….why is that wig pulled so far down and her eyebrows so high up…they darn near touch!
I didn’t even notice Brandy’s baby hair because I couldn’t get past the terrible drawn on eyebrows.
I really don’t even know what the episode was about. Why did she do that to herself?
And since we are on VH1, let’s submit new names for the “Basketball Wives” show.
Slutbucket Leeches of the NBA?
David Stern Presents NappyHeaded Hoe AllStars?
Guttersnipes International?
*jussayin…*
I just wanted to say you have in tears over here DWL
@Tenchi….lol….The True Confessions of a SpermBank.
I see that you spoke of gangs, but I’d like to add:
Gangsta Sh*t
Don’t let anyone tell you that black people are the only ones trying to get over through stealing. You got your d-boys and typical violence like shooting and robbing, and then you got people like Bernie Madoff and all these other dudes committing “white collar” crimes. Heck, just today I found out that the executives at Goldman were getting billions in bonuses while those lower on the totem were being sent home indefinitely–fraud, hidden book number, the whole nine.
So you have someone hustling for a few hundred bucks versus someone who is stealing the entire life savings and future of thousands of people. White people just are smarter and more elaborate with theirs. They even have a separate category for their crimes. I say this because while everyone is greedy and wants to get over, we as black people don’t really venture outside of our communities with our dirty business. (which is dumb as H*ELL) Selling drugs and bringing violence into the neighborhood where you little girl plays outside isn’t smart…that’s how innocent kids and people get hit with stray bullets and mess. Shoot…at least when white people get over, it’s on someone else’s turf. You better believe that these executives go home to their mansions and gated communities, not living or placing their families in immediate harm.
Just an observation…
word.life. same crime. different jail.
Food Stamps or EBT cards – How Black folks seem to be the poster child for “welfare queens in Cadillacs” and “leeching off your hard earned money” to this day IDK. I’ve seen MAD 2520s on welfare so how this label just sticks to Blacks and Latinos in 2010 Idk.
Fighting at the club – I’ve been to quite a few 2520 clubs and they fight more or just as much as ninjas do. The only difference is the gun play.
Stealing – I’ve worked in retail and the 2520s would boost more than the Black folks.
Talking bad about their own people – I’ve been around some 2520s and they go HARD on their different cultures. I’ve heard more derogatory comments about Italians, Pols, English, Eastern Europeans, etc. from 2520s than anyone else. East Indians, Latinos, and Asians are also guilty of this.
“Fighting at the club – I’ve been to quite a few 2520 clubs and they fight more or just as much as ninjas do. The only difference is the gun play.” – This is so true. I’ve bounced all throughout Philly and the white boys are the only ppl that will fight the bouncers too! And they got guns too!
right. so basically humans are humans.
“Talking bad about their own people – I’ve been around some 2520s and they go HARD on their different cultures. I’ve heard more derogatory comments about Italians, Pols, English, Eastern Europeans, etc. from 2520s than anyone else. East Indians, Latinos, and Asians are also guilty of this.”
You must not understand Spanish cause if you did you would know, don’t no one criticize ostrecise, and dehumanize their own like my Latin@ brothers and sisters, in play and for real. There are whole Latin@ ethnicities that can’t stand each other and really go in hard in dual languages.
“don’t no one criticize ostrecise, and dehumanize their own like my Latin@ brothers and sisters, in play and for real. There are whole Latin@ ethnicities that can’t stand each other and really go in hard in dual languages.”
Being that my closes girlfriends are Latina. I know this all too well.
soooo true….JUST saw a lady at walmart pay for all kinds of gourmet food items with an EBT card and then get in her Lexus SUV….the big one too! I was outraged….not at her taking advantage of our government but because when I went donw to the welfare (no precious) the case worker looked at my pay stubs and asked me if MY job was hiring and to put in a good word…
Because I’ve seen the ‘behind the scenes of this situation, i don’t get too upset when I see this. My aunt takes care of two of her daughter’s kids, and gets food stamps to do so since they are technically foster kids. She drives a nice car and wears nice clothes and such. I don’t think of her as taking advantage since it was not her choice to bring them into the world but she is stepping up to raise them, so why shouldn’t she get some help?
“Talking bad about their own people – I’ve been around some 2520s and they go HARD on their different cultures. I’ve heard more derogatory comments about Italians, Pols, English, Eastern Europeans, etc. from 2520s than anyone else. East Indians, Latinos, and Asians are also guilty of this.”
This right here is the truth! I try to tell ppl.
iHate when I go on celeb blogs and some chick says, “This why Black ppl ain’t getting no where cause they always downing one another.”
Un uhn, that person obviously is never around any YTs.
“Keeping It Gangsta”
We don’t have that on lock anymore as a result of hearing about the guy who purposely threw up a little girl after getting into an argument with her father during a Phillies game.
Now that’s Gangsta!
No. That’s just nasty!
or nasty.
@ Toni Childs,
Yes and amen on Death to Baby hair! Baby hair in 2010 is only, I repeat only acceptable on babies. I’m talking newborns – infants literal BABIES! I watched the Brandy and Chilli last night and my friend was trying to give Brandy a pass since her baby hair was part of her lace front wig–I’m sorry but baby hair is baby hair!
Back to the list. I’m like the only person I know who can’t stand Kool-Aid. I grew up on it and even used to “buy” stuff with the Kool-Aid points. I think I’m over it because I’ve consumed far more than my fair share of it over the years. It’s up there on my over consumption list with Ramen Noodles and Hot Pockets, the college dorm staples. I was meeting a new resident in my community on some official home owners’ association business and I offered him a drink. He accepted and asked what I had. I told him that I had (sweet–I live in the South) tea lemonade (not Kool-Aid lemonade), cran-apple juice, and bottled water. This dude screwed his face up like he smelled something and declined stating, “no thanks, I thought you might have some fruit punch Kool-Aid in there.” Now we’re both Black, but I don’t just go around ASSuming that people have Kool-Aid!
I loves me some grits with butter and sugar. That was also a staple in my house growing up. Breakfast every Saturday morning consisting of grits, livermush, toast, and a big glass of red Kool-aid (or Tang on special occasions)!
My addition to the list is being late. I am one of two Black people in a department of about 60 people and nothing ever starts on time! Also I did a semester in Méxio during undergrad and CP time ain’t got nothing on how they do down there. They don’t even apologize for being late, stuff just starts whenever the last person arrives.
What is liver mush?
My job, meetings start when they want to
This is livermush http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Livermush , and yes that’s one word. According to Wikipedia it’s not Black, but German, however I always associated it with “Poor” and if the article is any indication I was right…
Now we’re both Black, but I don’t just go around ASSuming that people have Kool-Aid!
i do.
I ASSume, too. I just wait for folks to offer me some when I visit their crib so I don’t look stupid. I feel fine looking stupid in my own head, but not in front of folks.
Peyso, my reply to your comment got stuck in moderation but anyways…
This is livermush http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Livermush , and yes that’s one word. According to Wikipedia it’s not Black, but German, however I always associated it with “Poor” and if the article is any indication I was right…
It’s also called liver pudding in various parts of the south. *Shaking head* I actually used to eat that stuff.
Ummm…livermush? As in scrambled innards? Such as taking the organ used as a filtration system from some random farm animal and slicin’/dicin’ the eff out of it until it’s of a soupy substance?
Damn, I just grossed my own self out….
Meet number 2, because I don’t like Kool-Aid either. My friends look at me as if I crazy because I don’t drink it. I am like I had enough growing up. Then when my friends make Kool-Aid, it is nothing but sugar. I am like you are a grown man-damn near 30, why do you need all of that sugar? Oh well…
Improvising (making something out of nothing or doing some ghetto ish): I work w/ alot of hispanic students…and the stories they tell me…boy oh boy. I’ve heard tales of mayo and banana sandwhiches b/c there was nothing eles in the fridge…playing baseball in the DR with bottle caps and broom sticks….dresser draws serving as cribs for newborns.
i think creativity is a pretty colored concept. well, aside from all the creative white people out there.
@word of mouth
I’m not sure white people got the name spelling thing on lock. I’m pretty sure we got that thrown-away-without-the-key too.
We spell stuff how we want, when we want. I just found out a homegirl of mine had been spelling her name wrong her whole life b/c her mother showed her birth certificate and was like, I didn’t like that spelling so I made one up. In case she reads the blog, I ain’t gonna put her out there.
I got a few friends who spell their names completey different than how their name sounds. I just assumed it was a creative talent thing. From Africa or something…lol.
PS y’all please excuse the confrusing comment system we got going right now. our usual midnight shift monkeys paid some hyenas to take the controls for a while and well…you see what happened…technical difficulties…
That reminds me of my name. On my birth certificate it’s spelled Shanae and my mom just used to tell me that they spelled it wrong. She wanted it like Sade, so it’s spelled Sane. I’ve never had a single person pronounce it right and our IT manager here still insists on calling me Sade, just “because it’s easier”. My momma was white though (although the blackest white woman I’ve ever met), so I’m not sure how that helps.
we have the same name! extra cool. except mine is actually spelled Shanae’ correctly (blame my mama for the unnecessary apostrophe at the end of both my brother’s and my name. lmbo. although i heart it anyway.).
you’re officially cooler than you were five minutes ago. lol.
“PS y’all please excuse the confrusing comment system we got going right now. our usual midnight shift monkeys paid some hyenas to take the controls for a while and well…you see what happened…technical difficulties…”
Yeah, I’ont ‘preciate having to fill out this dayum form everytime I comment on a Monday. But, I give pass because it’s a Monday. Sh*t is bound to go wrong. Maybe it’ll teach me to — as ya’ll said on your birfday to the top 10 commenters — shut the f*ck up. But then again, if I did…I wouldn’t have won VSB ish.
I’m not sure white people got the name spelling thing on lock. I’m pretty sure we got that thrown-away-without-the-key too.
(c) Cosign, because I know a girl named…
*wait for it…*
Leukemiaona…
*sigh*
@ Tenchi…..ok, that’s enough fun and games for today. But seriously???
Imagine what my face tried to construct itself into as I was introduced…
“This is my friend, Tenchi…Tenchi, my girl, Leukemiaona”
*internal dialogue with a blank stare*
Did he just say “leukemia…*pause*…ONA?!!!
I walked away with my face in a martini glass…what do you say to that?!!!
I could be wrong, but aren’t we just talkin’ about paradigm shifts (in the case of most of the items included on the list)? Just because members of another group indulge in particular habits doesn’t make the customs any less related to one group. I think we’re forgetting to consider ratios (and no, I don’t wanna here @#$% about “ratio deez”).
Do I eat tacos? Hell to the yeah! Does every black person IIIII know eat tacos? Hell to the double yeah! Becaue a bunch of black folks indulge in taco fever, does that mean that a taco is NOT a latino staple?
I’d expound, further, but rush hour traffic is callin’.
Hopefully, nobody tries to pull a Gangstalicious on me, but I just thought I’d toss that on out there.
you’re the person who always ruins the buffet with facts about nutrition and heart attacks aren’t you?
Well, not ALWAYS….
So, uh, Panda (yes, that is your universally accepted nickname now…don’t
thankblame me, I didn’t come up with it. lol), you are goin’ to hell with gasoline draws (or boxers…not sure how you roll) on for making me cackle on the train on a Monday morning at “Assistant Coach” purse. I cannot with you. I just can’t.yes you can.
Good luck getting African Americans to let go of stereotypes. They just so happen to be our favorite way of experiencing society. Take for instance the MILLIONS of stereotypes Blacks hurl on gay men and women.
Ohhh he has on a V-neck he’s gay.
Ohhh he likes reading books he’s gay.
Ohhh he has a good relationship with his mother he’s gay.
Ohhh he has gay friends he must be gay.
Ohhh he doesn’t walk with a limp he’s gay.
Ohh he got his eye brows groomed and a pedicure he’s gay.
Ohh he holds the door open for men and women he’s gay.
Ohh he doesn’t threaten to *beat the pussy up* he’s gay.
Sad to break it to you brother but African Americans are a stereotype ridden people. We love them. They are the only way we know how to process the world.
Roger that!
man, where do you live. everybody must be gay there.
“man, where do you live. everybody must be gay there.”
I wasn’t gonna say it, but I’mma say it.
Atlanta?
dude, i’m not giving you a pass on the pedicure and eye brow grooming…
“dude, i’m not giving you a pass on the pedicure and eye brow grooming…”
me either. man up.
@StrawberryPoptarts…ya’ll said it…im just agreed. lmao!
“Ohhh he has gay friends he must be gay.
Ohhh he doesn’t walk with a limp he’s gay.
Ohh he got his eye brows groomed and a pedicure he’s gay.”
If not gay metrosexual? What city are you in?
Hoopties and “Piece” cars
People see a blue car with a white fender and assume that it’s a ‘hood car, when in fact the “just make the damn thing run and be whole” concept might be of hispanic decent. My fam was always of the mindset “if it’s broke, get a new one.”
By the way
Cream of Wheat >>> grits
No if, ands, or buts about it.
Never had Cream of Wheat…don’t plan to
“Never had Cream of Wheat…don’t plan to”
You don’t eat hot cereal? Or is it that you don’t like good hot cereal?
Cream of wheat better than grits? FAIL
Sorry, Humble_One, but cream of wheat just doesn’t pair well with jelly, butter, cheese, sugar, fish, sausage or any other food you can pair with grits.
@Ivyette
“Sorry, Humble_One, but cream of wheat just doesn’t pair well with jelly, butter, cheese, sugar, fish, sausage or any other food you can pair with grits.”
Cream of Wheat pairs well with all of that except for cheese and fish. Who eats hot cereal with cheese and fish? Cream of Wheat with butter and sugar > grits with everything you listed.
side note: Long time no see here. The job must have you busy.
I must say I agree with this lady right hurr!
The only hot cereal that should be sweet is oatmeal (imo). My grits are flavored w/ salt, butter, pepper, and cheese!!!
I eat hot cereal as in oatmeal…almost everyday for breakfast.
However there is nothing appealing about Cream of Wheat to me.
@LaBakir
“However there is nothing appealing about Cream of Wheat to me.”
You need new taste buds if you like grits over Cream of Wheat. Or you don’t like a Black man being on your box of cereal.
“Cream of Wheat >>> grits”
Malt o’ Meal is better than both, IMO.
By the way, anyone out there eat Farina? Because my bro-in-law is always talmbout that mess and I’m wondering what the eff it is and how similar is it to Cream of Wheat/Malt o’ Meal?
@Cheekie
“Malt o’ Meal is better than both, IMO.”
1) Cream of Wheat
2) tie b/w oatmeal and Malt O’ Meal
Farina is welfare Cream Of Wheat. You get it at the same time you get your canned beef government cheese.
side note: You haven’t been around much too. The job must have you humping.
“Farina is welfare Cream Of Wheat. You get it at the same time you get your canned beef government cheese.”
Yup, got that part, just wondered if it tasted similar at all. Oh, and I googled it and that boy on the box is creepy. Further reason not to try Farina.
“side note: You haven’t been around much too. The job must have you humping.”
Honey, YES. We been grinding like a mofo this past week. And everytime we’re busier, we happen to get extra projects on TOP of what we’re already doing. I’ve been tryin’ to lurk in between though, but can’t comment the way I want to. I was hella pissed because it looks like I missed some great ones. Today, we’re a bit less busy, thank Jeebus.
“Yup, got that part, just wondered if it tasted similar at all. Oh, and I googled it and that boy on the box is creepy. Further reason not to try Farina”
It tastes similar to Cream of Wheat. The texture is a little different. It is the only cereal that I know of that is a knock-off of Cream of Wheat.
“Malt o’ Meal is better than both, IMO.”
Oh man…malt ‘o meal used to go hard back in the day…I haven’t had it since I was like 10…lol
LMAO @ needing new taste buds! I beg to differ!
Cream of wheat looks gross…all soupy and white
CLUB FIGHTS
People like to think that only black people fight at the club/bar…they r wrong…
This past saturday I was chillin sippin on my 40 oz pitcher of long island ice tea when the place erupted in chaos. All of the underaged kids fueled by the 2 dollar drinks could no longer contain themselves and started a brawl. I just stood back wit my pitcher and straw and watched EVERYONE lose. How can nobody win a fight? I thought it was impossible until i seent ( yes, seent) it with my own two eyes…
Co-Sign Co-Sign Co-Sign
“People like to think that only black people fight at the club/bar…they r wrong…”
YES. In fact, my little cousin who wants to be a bartender refuses to work at Black folks clubs because of the alleged constant fighting that goes on. I always side-eye him because it’s just not true. I’m like, “Yeah, maybe at them 18-21 clubs YOU frequented before you turned 21″. And hell, it’s not even just younger clubs, but he has to realize that he is severely limiting his choices. Plus, wtf does he think he think his Black a*s is? Taupe? Silly boy…
Thats exactly where I was…the underage drinking spot where NO ONE can hold their liquor…but there werent that many black people in there but a lot of (allegedly) black stuff was going on. 1. weed smoking 2. fighting over “my man” 3. gambling 4. Newport smoking…
Pimpin out rides.
Yes girl they go crazy with big tires on chevys out here
“While I personally can’t stand grits…”
THIS. i hate the taste of grits and people side-eye for this almost as much as when i tell them i don’t eat seafood. i don’t get it. grits are nasty. i like oatmeal though. does that make me weird.
this list is on point.
as far as gangs you would never think that nashville, tennessee had so many gangs. bloods, crips, gangsta disciples, you name it and they are here. but what are the two biggest gangs that cause the most issues as far as crime? ms-13 and brown pride. even kurdish gangs are on a come up here. true story.
The Welfare– single white baby mamas all over welfare, food stamps, WIC, all government assistance that is usually tied to single black mothers.
Buffets– here in the South, you will see more white folks at a buffet restaurant than you will ever see black folks. Seafood buffet, BBQ buffet, chinese buffet, basically anything that allows you to have all you can eat for < $10.99.
Watermelon– yep. you heard it right. Watermelon.
I’m glad to see I’m not the only round these parts that can’t stand grits. My homegirl threatens to take my card all the time.
I do like cream of wheat and oatmeal. Hmmm.
Thanks PJack, I’ma be singing that “make friend with kool-aid” song all day…lmao
So, I’m lurking out of the shadows because I must know — where in the world did the “2520″ reference come from? Is it because they like taking 420s more than the average brother so we just multiplied the first number time 5? I’m just confused. Help me VSBs & VSSs! I must know!!!
its in the VSB Glossary page: http://www.verysmartbrothas.com/glossary/
Thanks Liz!
Hey, can I get a “welcome and sh*t”?
My favorite jacked up celebrity baby names have got to be Moxie CrimeFighter (daughter of Penn from Penn & Teller), Audio Science (son of Shannyn Sossamon), Moon Unit and Dweezil Zappa, and Rainbow Joan of Arc (Rain Phoenix’s real name)
Gwyneth Paltrow wasn’t totally crazy by naming her daughter Apple. As any UK VSSers and VSBers can attest, their are plenty of Englishwomen named Peaches, Strawberry, Bluebell, Plum and Honey. It’s only jacked up that her name is Apple Martin, which sounds like a cocktail.
Hilarious and very true. I would also add:
Black and milds
Wife beaters (tank tops) – see 2520s in my area wearing these out
Boxers – i used to think 2520s only wore tighty whities (hence the name)
Fried chicken – word on the street is…they love that ish too.
LOL, i had a WHOLE comment ready, well in my head, until i saw this:
Correction…I know your father.
I SAY THIS ALL THE TIME.
7) Gangs
Despite the pesky insistence on the spreading of the Blood gang out to the East coast and the cache of the Bloods and Crips in LA, and all the gazillion gangs (under the Folk and Peoples umbrella) in Chicago and New York, Mexicans and South American cats are crazy with theirs. MS-13 is freakin’ everywhere. I hear they just started a chapter on the moon next to the University of Michigan Alumni Chapter. Add to the myriad Asian gangs in California and I’m wondering who in Cali isn’t in a gang? Well aside from Brandy, but she’s rapping now so…
2520′s have this on lock. It’s call the Executive Department at any Forturne 500 co. They do drive by’s all the time and call them lay off’s.
Years ago when I moved to the ATL, a white co-worker of mine was explaining to me what grits were. When I got through laughing, I told her I’d enjoyed them my whole life. She looked totally shocked and said “I didn’t know Yankees ate grits!”
And yeah, I remember Malt-O-Meal. Disgusting. I did like Cream of wheat as a kid. With butter, sugar, and a little milk.
Yep you must all the malt liquior and the boom of Moscato sales.
Peace, Love and Chocolate
DEFINITELY have to co sign on the grits theory. As a Cali transplant into the deep south I just assumed incorrectly that grits was straight negro cuisine. I was the only sistah in an all white office, and during a lunch break I heard my co worker, Marta Jean (real name) place a lunch order for corn bread, black eye peas, a side of greens, a smothered pork chop and some potato salad. I gave her the side eye and said “you eat that kind of food”, she side eyed me back and gave a loud HELL YEAH!….AND THAT WAS HOW I DISCOVERED “SOUL FOOD” is actually SOUTHERN FOOD. To this very day I call it southern food and learned that white people can also provide “teachable moments”!! The equality stopped when she kept asking me how to pronounce all the names that ended in sha, la, qua, ika, …
I am going to have to use that Kool-Aid commerical!!! I am glad you posted it, because people just don’t know the truth!!! Ignorance is bliss I guess…