Dating, Relationships, & Sex, Lists, Race & Politics, Theory & Essay

8 Real Reasons Why Black Women Should Date White/Non-Black Men

I jacked this from Madame Noire. A white man wouldn't do that.

I’m convinced that LaShaun Williams and therefore Madame Noire just spoofed Black America. In fact, I’m so convinced of this fact that you cannot convince me otherwise. You could tell me that you have beachfront property in Kansas for sale and I’d believe that before I believed that article was intended to be serious. I’m fairly sure that the author has been told to go f*ck herself so many times in life that she decided to take a chance to piss off the reading ninja massive for sh*ts and giggles.

Plus, as a person who often times writes complete and utter bull malarkey, I know non-sense when I see it. The article, “8 Reasons to  Date a White Man” AKA the article heard around the powder room was pure and utter biship. But then I got to thinking – as a thinker, I’m prone to thinking – and realized that despite her non-sense and clear disdain for Black people, she’s right. Just for all the wrong reasons.

If she was serious, to say that white men aren’t looking for somebody to take care of them because more of them come from stable backgrounds, etc just proves that she’s never watched Ricki Lake, Jerry Springer, or CNN’s White in America series aka The News. Actually, each and every point that she outlines proves that she either has the most selective data pool in history or has only spent her life watching BET and reading Black Tail…and never watched day time television talk shows.

Oh yes, why is she right? It’s common knowledge that Black women should open up their dating pool since Black men have. I love loyalty, it was a great song on GangStarr’s Moment of Truth album, but it pretty must stops there. So as a service and in support of our wayward sister with the really Black name from Madame Noire, here are 8 serious reasons as to why Black women should date non-Black men (I couldn’t just say white, I mean there are at least 2 other races that Black women should consider).

1. Don’t have to worry about anybody using the word swag all the time…or having any of it

I don’t know about you, but I’m so tired of hearing about swagger, so imagine how our women must feel . Dudes running up on them talking about their self-esteem going through the roof and how they got their swag. And since for the most part nobody else has that swag that Black men have and talk about, you can live a life without all that unnecessary charisma and “thing” that Black men have. It’s SO useless.

2. Smaller wangs

I’m a Black dude so I assume the myth is true. Why is this a good thing? Ladies, aren’t some of you tired of getting poked in your stomach every time you and your man get it on? Ulcer my arse. It’s all that Clarence Carter endorsed stroking that you’re doing with your the real Mandingo in the family. If you go date Small Wang, you are in the clear for some concentrated area boning. No more pain. Plus, the walk of shame always looks worse when you got the blowlegged he-stabbed-me-officer walk going on.

3. Less emotional and more logical reactions

As a Black man, I’m required to assume everything that has a possible racial component to it, DOES have a racial component to it. You know who doesn’t think like that? White people and Asians who are considered white people. You can have your mind expanded into a world where its completely plausible that you didn’t get the job because that other person was more qualified. Who wants to sit around and talk about race all day anyway when there’s global warming and Greenpeace to talk about.

4. A movie library that doesn’t include Menace II Society

Face it, you grew up in Chilllicothe, Ohio, not Compton and you don’t understand why people love and glorify this movie. It wasn’t your life and you can’t appreciate it the way that all the “brothas” do. Time to venture out. Who the hell is Mc Eiht anyway, and why is there no “g” in his name? Pishaw.

5. You didn’t go to an HBCU and they didn’t either

Common ground thy name is education. What’s the big deal about homecoming and marching bands anyway?!

6. You like Friends more than A Different World

…what a surprise, so does everybody else! The ability to relate is at the top of everybody’s list and non-Black guys TOTALLY get Friends and Seinfeld and whatever a Bobcat Golthwait is.

7. VSB is generally as Black as you want to get in your life. You can’t do that if you date a Black man.

SAME FOR THEM! Appreciation from afar is not only a motto, it’s a way of life.

8. Only a White man can truly appreciate the depth of The Color Purple

All the Black men you know think its a comedy. Wait, it’s not? Black men don’t understand the plight of the Black woman but a white man can appreciate what you bring to the table unlike any brother really can, as evidenced by his love for The Color Purple (true story). Hey sucka ni**a, wherever you are…you just lost one.

So good people of VSB, while Mrs. Williams article was f*ckery, what are some other real reasons that Black women should date non-Black men?

Help a sista out.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka VITAMIN P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

Filed Under: , ,
Damon Young

Panama Jackson is a co-founder of VSB and co-author of Your Degrees Won't Keep You Warm At Night: The Very Smart Brothas Guide to Dating, Mating, and Fighting Crime. He believes the children are our future and is waiting to find out if he is the 2nd most interesting man in the world.

  • tnt_ftw

    first for the first time!

    • http://twitter.com/SmartFoxGirl SmartFoxGirl

      Congrats. *throws confetti*…we can still celebrate.

      • tnt_ftw

        i was so giddy with excitement, that it felt wrong…thanks for the warm reception!

        oh btw i read the article too. and panama you a fool

        • http://None Josh

          This is insane. I’m so tired of black people both men and women thinking that interracial dating is the answer. You dont see Asian or hispancs etc. Doing this. Running to the same people who destroyed our continent and raped our women creating those freaking bi racial stuck up children. Everytime I see these black interracial sites it sickens me. Without black women black men wouldn’t exist and without a black father and mother a black women wouldn’t exist. this is so retarded!!!! I Wish the media would stop dividing our people. And it’s not that black men our bad it’s just that some black women choose the wrong ones and the good black men wanna keep runin to White trash.

  • http://www.beezandhunny.com Beez

    I have nothing to add, except a well placed roll across the floor, as laughter tears stream down my face.

    Good job, sir threemerson.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      Sir Threemerson is actually a pretty dope name. good job to you as well.

  • http://thecochranfirm.wordpress.com/ Dasher of The Newport Dashers

    I have always treated Black women torture pr0n like Precious, The Color Purple, Beloved, What’s Love Got To Do With It?, and The Jacksons: An American Dream like comedies. It is the only way to be able to watch those films.

    1)Lactose tolerance would be at the top of my list of reasons to date a snow bunny.

    2)The ability to swim.

    3)Appreciation for Robert Johnson(The Blues Man)

    4)The ability to dress up as Power Girl, and having it look right.

    5)Never having to listen to India Arie again.

    • Fivegurl

      Am I the only negro who doesn’t have lactose issues?
      And forget you! India.Arie (please note the name is spelled with a period rather than a space) is the truth!!!

      • 90sgagirl

        @Fivegurl: I don’t have lactose issues! and India.Arie is that ISH!!!!
        the industry doesn’t know what 2 do with people like her, I remember the grammy’s and Alicia Keys walked away with everything, they totally 4got about India, I think skin tone had a lot to do with it, they are both equally talented/beautiful musicians, but could I see India.Arie dating out…idk?? Nawll. you don’t write #Brownskin, to date whiteskin….

      • Keisha Brown

        @fivegurl
        im with you. my life would end without cheese. and ice cream. and cheese.
        no lactose intolerancy ovahere!!

      • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

        I don’t have lactose issues, but I don’t fux too much with milk. Now chocolate milk, I’ll take. Ice cold, please. Andre 3000.

      • Scipio Africanus

        Must be that strain of Massa’s cavedwelling blood, because I adore milk like I was getting paid to drink it. Like on some Delta Tau Delta frathouse “CHUG, CHUG, CHUG!!!” type stuff.

        • http://www.shay-d-lady.com shay-d-lady

          hey, how old are all of you “no lactose intolerance” people?

          cause umm if your under thirty? you might wanna wait it out fo you proclaim
          your intololerance to the intolerance..

          • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

            Good point, actually.

          • Tonya

            For real. Lactaid is my new best friend.

            • DaGardener

              Forget the white man’s cow poison! I’m all about bean juice but I do hate how it ruins Capt’n Crunch, makes it too sweet and I’m drinking Silk original.

    • CrissieD

      India Airie effin sux. I bought one of her albums because I thought I should like her and it sounded like an hour of the same annoying song over and over.

      • http://thecochranfirm.wordpress.com/2010/10/03/revisited-album-reviews/ Dasher of The Newport Dashers

        I have always had a lot of disdain for India.Arie because she shamelessly panders to women’s issues about colorism. Her music lacks dynamism, and tends to sound the same. India having a signature sound would not be an issue if her sound was unique in anyway. If I wanted to listen to someone aping Sheryl Crow, I would listen Sheryl Crow.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          her first album was dope. plus, i thought she was the most self-aware woman on the planet with the song about not being the average girl in the video. i was like finally a chick who knows she’s not cute and is singing about it. how refreshing.

          • Journee

            LMAO!!!!!!

          • Yonnie 3000

            LMAO! This is NOT what the song was about!

          • Scipio Africanus

            The thing about India is that she’s overall at least basically decent-looking, and her body is way past tight, and I have no choice to believe that she knows she’s not this ugly girl that she’s acts like. That’s the reason I kind of dislike her. Her self-pity needs way more people.

          • http://www.shesoflyy.com Muze

            i hate you for making my side hurt this morning.

          • Alvin

            That may be the greatest backhanded compliment of all time.

    • http://uphereoncloud9.com/ Wu Young

      I strangely want to see number 4 pulled off properly. Somebody give Christina Hendricks or Scarlett and the Johanssons a power girl costume and a blond wig.

      • http://thecochranfirm.wordpress.com/ Dasher of The Newport Dashers

        Scarlett is too down syndrome in the face for her to pull of Power Girl.

        • http://uphereoncloud9.wordpress.com/ Wu Young

          “Scarlett is too down syndrome in the face for her to pull of Power Girl.”

          That my friend was colder than a pimp’s heart.

    • thebagladywhobrokeherback

      question: how would her lactose tolerance benefit you?

      • http://thecochranfirm.wordpress.com/2010/10/03/revisited-album-reviews/ Dasher of The Newport Dashers

        Not having to deal with someone else’s lactose intolerance related stealth emissions would be a nice change of pace.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      You know, I don’t like India.Arie either but the more I think about it, I don’t even remember why. Sure her pretentiousness annoys me but her first album was dope as hell. Oh yes, I’m remembering, it was after she lost all those grammy’s to Alicia Beatz Keys (new name? – i mean it still works if you think about it) and she started making paint-by-the-numbers songs like “little things” where she shoots videos where she’s doing a talk show and a ladybug distracts her into giddyness and sh*t. yes, i’m fairly sure that’s where i started to really unlike her.

  • http://www.threewaystotakeit.com Slim Jackson

    Idk blogging brethren. I thought the article in question was spot on accurate…

    o_O

    In an alternate universe that is.

    I don’t got nothing else at the moment. This topic gives me a headache so I’ll sleep on it and return with a reason(s) I should tell Black women to go elsewhere.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      I was kind of surprised by the uproar. As soon as I read her first bullet I was like, oh, shes joking. this has to be a spoof. She cant possibly be writing this as a real contribution to the discussion. then i figured maybe she went to the Panama Jackson school of Pissing People Off (we’re accepting applications for the spring semester now).

      or maybe she hates her mother. and malcolm x. i dont know.

      • http://www.threewaystotakeit.com Slim Jackson aka Still Big Meech

        Part of me thinks this was written to be inflammatory and create a storm of traffic. It has indeed done exactly that. It’d be funny if a few days from now she did another post saying it was a spoof just to create dialogue amongst people like ourselves.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          i think we call that, pulling a Touré

          • Darrkman

            Yo what is up with Toure’?? Does that brotha really think he’s the voice of Black America?? I think he’s starting to believe the BS his little Twitter sycophants feed him.

            Dman I found a way to work sycophants into a sentence….VSB is making ME smarter.

            • http://www.somethingaboutata.blogspot.com Muze

              i was about to comment on your use of the word when i read it. good job. #wordnerd

            • tgtaggie

              I think Touré married this bad Lebanese chick. I’m talking about Keri Hilson bad. I think he believe he is the voice of Black America like Tavis Smiley was a couple of years ago. Before Tavis (who showed obvious bias in the Dem. primaries) started to criticize then presidential candidate Obama.

              • Nic

                Who is Toure?

  • http://twitter.com/essbreezy Summer

    #9. For the sake of natural hair: A non-black man thinks your natural/nappy hair is really cool, neat, interesting, (insert positive but non-descript adjective) and not… well… nappy. Twists-in, twist-out, wash-and-go, hey whatever! He has no idea when you actually need to get your hair done. It all looks the same to him — really awesome!

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      don’t believe that sh*t. white man or dark man, EVERYBODY knows a f*cked up hairdo when they see one. he might not know what to call it, but he knows you need to do something to that uncoiffed f*ckery you might have on your head.

      btw, i know beaucoup ninjas who love natural hair. nappy on the other hand…then again, i’ve learned that what women consider nappy could be some sh*t that y’all got done at the beauty shop that men just consider “natural”. it’s like nappy is a way of life under which natural is part of the puzzle or something.

      im sexxy.

      • JessicaL

        “don’t believe that sh*t. white man or dark man, EVERYBODY knows a f*cked up hairdo when they see one. he might not know what to call it, but he knows you need to do something to that uncoiffed f*ckery you might have on your head.”

        You just got me in trouble for laughing at that.

      • http://twitter.com/essbreezybaby summer

        bwahahaha! dang, you came at me with the HARSHness. lol.

        tough love comment posting ass.

        “uncoiffed f*ckery”? Wowwww, lol. Niiice.

        So, basically, whatchu sayin is, I need to go back and side-eye all those people of non-color who said my hair was awesome when I knew it was shot out?

        and yeah, i’ve been happily nappy for 3+ years. I used it here instead of natural ’cause we’re all family. I love my kinky curls!

        So um, *ahem* where are all these “beaucoup ninjas who love natural hair” of whom you speak?? *fluffs fro Mae West style*

        Good post btw.

        • morningjoi

          They’re in Los Angeles.

    • dudette

      That also goes for weaves. I always see the scariest looking weaves on women who date non-black guys. They really don’t notice. I bet they can’t even tell it’s a weave.

      • JessicaL

        OMG! Yes!

  • Fivegurl

    “Nobody will out ignorant me” is a great tag!
    And forreal, I was just having a a conversation with a friend of mine who insisted she was going to fly her ass all the way from our school in California to DC JUST to go to Howard homecoming. I really don’t get that isht?!?!?!? I didn’t go there, don’t know anybody who goes there, and I’m just about to go cuz black people be there? Huh?

    • http://twitter.com/naimafiasco TheTalentedMs.Fiasco

      I live in the area and the first time I have even been near howard is when I got lost on Georgia Avenue. *shrugs* I don’t get the homecoming thing either, but I just wanna go to see what all the fuss is about. HU, YOU KNOOWWWW!!! hahahaha

    • WIP

      FAMU homecoming is something serious. People that don’t go home for Christmas come back for homecoming!

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      Howard Homecoming USED to be the Black Gold Standard when it came to homecoming festivities. It aint so much anymore. But in the 90s? Theres a reason rappers were always shouting out Howard homecoming. Even my first years in college, everybody wanted to go to Howard Homecoming.

      And bypass every other HBCU on the way up from Atlanta. lol.

      shots fired to North Carolina. ALL of the HBCU’s in NC.

      • Jahna T.

        Howard’s Homecoming this year is definitely going back to the days when it set the standard. Erykah Badu, Slick Rick, Saul Williams, Marvin Sapp and Ricky Rozay will be there. Something for everybody, right?

        …maybe I’m just geeked because its my 1st homecoming as an alum :-)

        • Ope

          OMG Jahna, I know you!!!! Lol. Go Bison!!!!!!!!

      • James

        Aggie Pride!!!
        Wait…there is more than one HBCU in NC?
        Greensboro 4

        • Proudtoberepressed

          Bennett Belles do it Well!!!
          Grenssboro forever

        • Proudtoberepressed

          Bennett Belles do it Well!!!
          Grenssboro forever

      • tgtaggie

        Panama, its the wrong week to bring up Howard. lol. The Greatest Homecoming on Earth is this week….AGGIE PRIDE!! (I can’t wait to be back in Greensboro this weekend)

        @Fivegurl nothing is quite like a HBCU homecoming. It’s hard to explain it until you attend one.

        • leaveittome

          People who don’t go to HBCU’s still amuse me with their “I just don’t get it!” comments.

          Trust me, even if you came to HU’s homecoming.. you still wouldn’t.

          -Bison

  • Rog

    You don’t have to pimp yourself out in order to get out of a driving ticket.

    You’ll still save money on your kids education i.e. minority scholarship!!!

    If they play basetball, they’ll be able to shoot 3′s and dunk

    They could actually look like the “business” voice they’ll potray on the phone.

    Your daughter will be blessed in both areas ass and boobs (although if your the Dad you hope she won’t develop those till saaay 35)

    • Rog

      *basketball*

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      If they play basetball, they’ll be able to shoot 3?s and dunk

      i dont know dog. i cant dunk for sh*t but i was the shooting guard to the stars. lol.

      • Sula

        i dont know dog. i cant dunk for sh*t but i was the shooting guard to the stars. lol.

        So you confirm the theory! :)

        • Urban Bush Baby

          Or they wont have to worry about conforming to black stereotypes and be free to pursue other areas of interest like ,oooh and this is off the top of my head, getting an education instead of running themselves ragged on a basketball court or rapping about complete and total nonsense that no one can relate to cause apparently everyone thinks that’s the only way to get out of “the hood”.

    • kingpinenut

      “Your daughter will be blessed in both areas ass and boobs (although if your the Dad you hope she won’t develop those till saaay 35)”

      all too true…imma have to stomp some young bucks

    • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

      “If they play basetball, they’ll be able to shoot 3?s and dunk”

      You mentioning 2520s dudes shooting 3s made me think of the glory days of the Bulls with Steve Kerr and Toni Kuko? who each STAYED shooting 3s. In fact, I probably reference everything in my life afterwards as post-Bullsglorydays.

  • Fivegurl

    As a woman… your daughter will be *that girl* with the light skin, “good” hair and light eyes that you hated on in school. And yea, you don’t want people to treat your daughter special just because of her looks… but let’s be real that biracial thing will take her far in life!

    • http://www.iamyourpeople.com I Am Your People

      I know a woman who ONLY dated non-Black men strictly so that her children would have “good” hair. 0__________________O

      • 90sgagirl

        this is soooo sad, ridiculous, ignant ish! genetics is crazy!! I know biracial sisters, one has more white girl features, such as nose, body type, but her hair is Nappy as hell!, and the other one is caramel complexion, wavy hair, hazel eyes, black girl booty, they have the same parents white mom/black dad, so nothing is guaranteed!
        just because your child is biracial doesn’t mean their hair texture will be like #Debarge/Tia&Tamera, I’ve seen some nappyass hair,
        –I have a family friend who is dark chocolate and long natural hair her husband is paper bag brown and their baby girl is light like Beyonce’s nephew w/ some Sinbad hair?!?! crazy, ppl would never know that that’s her child because she is soo light, but she takes after her paternal grandmother, and Most black people range in skin colors/hair textures anyways

        • Fivegurl

          Yea, colorism is a b*tch but can’t be escaped… at least not in the next couple of decades. I know we all have stories of ignorant people that we know and their opinions on color and hair texture and all that. I won’t start regaling mine cuz it’ll probably bring a tear to someone’s eye..

        • WIP

          I must concur; I’ve seen many biracial butterflies with nappy hair. Nappy happy hair that is…

      • http://twitter.com/naimafiasco TheTalentedMs.Fiasco

        That stuff always irritates me. Hair is hair! Can we all sing I am not my hair by India.Arie??? (also just to annoy Bishop Dash?)

        Also, I agree with 90sgagirl. Being mixed raced does not guarantee nice hair. Hell, even being white doesn’t mean you have nice hair.

        People who make me laugh in terms of “good hair” discussions are East Africans. I blame the Italians! They really messed us up.

    • http://twitter.com/SmartFoxGirl SmartFoxGirl

      I have seen some UGLY mulatto kids so the black/white genes are not a guarantee of cuteness. Plus I’ve seen some “I’m cute cause I’m lightskin” sistas who weren’t cute. Please stop gassing the buttaface light skin chick’s head just cause she light and ish. I will admit that I am glad I have wavy and not nappy hair but I tan to be brown…I love brown skin so I don’t understand the whole “light skin” phenomena. I’m also glad I have an “indian” nose and not a bell pepper nose breathing up all the white man’s good clean air and sh*t. Let’s quit the ignorances people.

      • Mimi

        @SFG

        “Please stop gassing the buttaface light skin chick’s head just cause she light and ish.”

        This should be a public service announcement that airs on BET, TVOne, Centric, VH1 (cuz they suddenly went black) and whenever there is a black-cast sitcom playing, once for every hour.

        • Oohwee

          They should make an announcement in Walmart too..

      • Mo-VSS

        @SFG with the comment about buttaface light-brights…BRAVO!!!!

        I’ve seen many-a-dudes holla at a light skinned girl that was a horseface, but they so taken with the complexion that they don’t care.

        I’m not a hater, but dammit, light-skin does not equal attractive. If you are light skinned and attractive, kudos to you. But, if you’re light skinned and looking like Whoopi G, please recognize your unattractive status. And men….please not speculating, raising these chicks expectations.

        • Deeds

          I’ont think that all dudes go for the gimmick of light bright. I know a girl who’s light and bright and has some of the worst self-esteem ever. Although, the way she has had her face played I might be down in the dumps too.
          True Stories: She meet a guy in the club or bar and they decided to go on a date. When he came to pick her up, she got in his car and then dude looked at her and was like “naw this aint gonna work” and told her to leave his car. She called a friend of mine and told that story to her. I still can’t believe she told that.
          Another time she was waiting on a date with a guy and she could see him in his car. She then calls him and she could see him ignoring her calls. I’ont if he saw her first or what, but I was like danm.

          • WIP

            Ya, I don’t think I woulda told that

          • Mo-VSS

            Uhm…I DEF wouldn’t have told that.

            And, I would have caught a charge on ole dude with the disrespect of that nature (the one in the car who told her to get out)

            That’s hella foul!

      • http://uphereoncloud9.wordpress.com/ Wu Young

        Ugly Mulatto Kids would be a dope-a** name for an indie rock band.

        • JessicaL

          I’m laughing because you’re right.

        • Sula

          I will so go to the concert! :)

        • http://uphereoncloud9.wordpress.com/ Wu Young

          Yeah, I would pay a few dollars to hear them too.

      • James

        Crying out loud…people looking at me like I’m crazy. Tears

    • http://thatswhatgemsaid.wordpress.com Gem of the Ocean

      *raises hand*

      worked for ME!!! minus the light eyes part….

      *whips “good hair” back and forth*

      • http://www.pinchmycheekie.wordpress.com Cheekie

        LOL, I love Gemmie.

  • http://twitter.com/naimafiasco TheTalentedMs.Fiasco

    lmao! As a lady who use to be addicted to the swirl. White guys are cool and all, but instead of baby mama drama, they have that whole “my mama didn’t love me enough” drama. *shrugs* Maybe I dated too many emo potheads who totally dig how I cultural I am…

  • http://www.angryblacklady.com Angry Black Lady

    1) You can take them to the black Roscoe’s (in LA on Pico). They’ve probably only ever been to the white one in Hollywood. They will admire you/be nervous.

    2) They are there.

    3) Your kids will have awesome hair.

    • Emerald

      The black Roscoe’s is on Manchester and Main…

    • Enginegro

      LMAO. i love goin to that roscoes to just people watch all the 2520′s. Its like they’re on a safari observing the negro species in their natural habitat.

      • bballmom

        “Its like they’re on a safari observing the negro species in their natural habitat”

        Dammit! You made me spit out my tea!