Lists, Pop Culture, Theory & Essay

7 Reasons Why Men Should Watch Scandal According To An Actual Man

photo(1)According to an article I came across while googling two separate things (“why men should watch scandal” and “scandal audience demographics”), I found that Scandal has one of the most female-centric audiences, like, ever. If the numbers in this article hold true, then about a solid quarter of Scandal’s viewers are men. This makes complete sense.

Without any facts to back this up, I’m going to wager a guess at the way the demographics break down. The audience is largely Black women (duh) with the remainder probably being Black men who have girlfriends who watch Scandal, white women who sympathize with Mellie and want to smash Fitz and possibly gay white men who like seeing the gay white male couple on television who adopted a Black baby that seems to have mysteriously disappeared. I can’t decide if I just missed the episode where they gave the trendy adopted Black baby back (can you actually do this?) or if they just pulled the “if we never mention the baby again, then maybe the baby never existed” script tool. These things keep me awake at night.

The point is that men, in general, aren’t watching this show. Which is a shame. The only people saying that men should be watching Scandal (see above linked article) are other women since, well, men aren’t watching the show. Trust me, I’ve looked for articles about Scandal written by men and they are scarce to non-existent. Twitter and social media would have you think otherwise but I’d be willing to bet that a solid 90 percent of the men popping off about Scandal on-line haven’t actually watched an episode. And to be fair I get it. Men out here with sidepieces get slandered to high hell as ain’t sh*t men (which they are), only to have women everywhere in love with a show that glorifies being a sidepiece. Or at least seems to. I get it, but its really a bad argument.

So I, an actual man who watches and enjoys it, am going to try to undo some of this. Or at least present a good enough list of reasons, some very man-centric, as to why men should be watching the show.

Shonda, you’re welcome (even though you’re doing just fine without my input).

1. Scandal is currently the equivalent to the ending of the Alabama vs Auburn Iron Bowl game from Saturday. Every week.

You see the guy in the pic up above? That was me at the end of the Iron Bowl. Laid all the way the f*ck out on my floor. I have hardwood floors. It was so cold. The epicness of that game is experienced on nearly a weekly basis during Scandal. There is ALWAYS something to make you yell out “oh sh*t” or “no motherf*cking way”. Shonda Rhimes has thrown out the book on subtlety and said let’s just punch folks in the mouth with ridiculous epicness every.single.week. So she does. Scandal is the Iron Bowl for women…

2. As per a few paragraphs ago, there is some vindication.

Look bro, your girl KNOWS that Olivia Pope is a sidepiece and she’s STILL rooting for her to win out. We all know that sidepieces never truly win, but women seem to think that the heart will never fail you. She knows she’s rooting for the very thing that she swears she’s against in real life. She knows. She knows Olivia Pope is weak and she knows that she could easily be Olivia Pope. There was a scene from two weeks ago where Olivia takes a stand for all of 30 seconds before she gets her back bent…because the philandering President with the penis of gold unverifiably told her that he had a house built for the two of them (likely with tax payer dollars). He definitely flew her to the house that may or may not have been built for her with a gov’t issue helicopter (definitely with tax dollars). Point is, she knows how ridiculous this sh*t is, but she ALSO knows that if you scoop her up with a helicopter and tell her you built her a house in Vermont, you could bone as many women as you want and come back home…cuz she ain’t going nowhere…and she’ll smile about it.

Ladies? FIGHT ME.

3. As per number 3, you basically get a birds eye view into the mind of a woman like the woman you want to date.

For all intents and purposes, Olivia Pope is your standard issue professional Black woman. She’s educated, multiple times over, from a two parent home (well…kinda…) and drinks wine while wearing killer outfits. She’s a boss. And her life f*cking suuuuuuuucks. She’s lonely. She makes bad choices. She has a thing for white men (not that there’s anything wrong with that), and she especially has a thing for unavailable men. But she’s smart and quick on her feet. She’s remarkably efficient at her job while being remarkably inefficient in her life. Granted, this is not how all women are and most Black, professional women I know are doing quite well and seem to be very happy. But so many women look at Liv as a sort of representative of a woman who is handling her business (which she is). They just forget that, again, her life suuuuuuuuuuuuucks. Point is, women love her because they can identify. Stay woke dog.

4. The men on the show are extremely bad ass.

Some for good reasons and some for bad reasons. Daddy Pope aka Rowan Pope aka Joe Morton is the baddest mofo lowdown around this town (sho nuff). The President has no more f*cks to give and stays checking folks about aforementioned f*cks. The President’s Chief of Staff, Cyrus, is one of the coldbloodiest motherlovers who ever did live (seriously, buddy almost had his HUSBAND offed for the presumed greater good of America), Huck is (or at least was til the third season kind of played my man…) is one of the most loyal, dedicated, and sympathetic characters on television. Point is, everybody gets down and dirty on this show in a way that can be appreciated by all. All the characters are flawed. They’re all McNulty and Stringer Bell mixed into one person without the good looks.

Sidenote: I binged watched Scandal when I was furloughed by our good friends in Congress. Season 1 will suck you right in. Season 2 isn’t as good, but Huck gets his own episode where they delve into his backstory. I cannot tell a lie, I actually shed tears watching that episode because they made his story a little too heartbreaking. You want to root for him because he’s just that real as a dude. And he is/was the one person that Olivia needs in her life.

5. Kerry Washington

She’s kind of far down this list because she gets lost amidst the non-sense of the show, but she’s still a beautiful woman even if she’s pining away for people she shouldn’t be, on bird status. The show’s acting is over the top, but she entertains while looking good.

6. The only reason you probably refuse to watch it is because all the women love it.

Which is a stupid reason. It’s a good show, if not entertaining. Choosing not to watch it because women swoon too much over it is perhaps the worst of the reasons not to check it out. You could attack the premise. You could attack the side-piece ness of nearly EVERYBODY on the show (seriously, I’ve counted at least 4 sidepieces on this show…even the sidepieces have sidepieces), the lack of realism at times, Quinn (who we all want to die), Liv’s wardrobe consisting of only white, or maybe it just ain’t your thing. But for all of those, you’d have to watch it to know. And you’re not doing it. Besides we like tons of sh*t that women hate and tolerate because they care about us.

7. Scandal provides you with the best game ever.

I see via Twitter and Instagram, fellas are laming out daily. What’s the hardest part about pulling a chick? The cold open. You need something to talk about right? Well there’s a better than 50 percent chance that you can go in with a Scandal reference and totally win. Fellas out here thinking that their sardonic disdain will work in their favor. Sure it will get you a convo…one you don’t want. Besides all the bad chicks are watching Scandal. I know this because they’re all tweeting about it. And I am too.

I’ll stop there. Those are good enough man-centric reasons to watch Scandal.

Stop b*tching and start a revolution.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka MR. SNAKES ON A PLANE aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

Damon Young

Panama Jackson is pretty fly for a light guy. He used to ship his frito to Tito in the District, but shipping prices increased so he moved there to save money. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. Most importantly, he believes the children are our future.

  • Cheekie Mae

    After hearing gaggles of gentlemen spewing their Scandal hate for MONTHS, my recent experience involving a very spirited and impromptu Scandal discussion during a lull in the Alabama/LSU game with a group of peen people warmed the cockles of my heart. ;)

    Multifaceted men for the win. o/

    • panamajackson

      LIES ALL LIES. THERE WERE NO LULLS IN THAT GAME!

      These are the jokes folks.

      • Cheekie Mae

        LULL DEEZ!

  • Imoteda

    You forgot to add in #2… sister was getting her back bent by the man she believed killed her mother. As in the woman who birthed her! I was slain after that. I hate Olivia Pope… but I love me some scandal. And yes men need to watch this show.. so they can learn to say pretty words to me…

    • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com/ Tristan

      Pretty word game A1 already

      • kidvideo

        Man…u coming in here throwin blows like Tyson in his prime…wearing all black(everything) wit no robe.

    • panamajackson

      Yeah…i shole didn’t put that in b/c if somebody does start watching, i think they need to experience that all on their own.

  • Secret Sauce

    I don’t watch Scandal as a man because…

    1. I just don’t watch TV like that. I haven’t seen one episode of Breaking Bad, Mad Men, Walking Dead or any of those series that seemingly break Twitter ever week.

    2. Scandal runs concurrent with the NBA, NFL, MLB and CFB seasons. I’m not passing up the TNT NBA doubleheader for Scandal. LeBron winning every rip.

    3. I hate when folks try to convince me to watch a show because “everyone else is watching” this show. A. Everyone aint watching said show. B. It makes me not wanna watch said show(s) even more.
    C. Just because you like something does me I have to share the same interest in it. It’s cool, though.

    Finally, I don’t think you can compare Scandal to the Iron Bowl. With a drama like Scandal, you kinda know that these characters and story lines and events are manufactured. You can also anticipate or look forward to a dramatic climax to the end of an episode. No one in America could have predicted Auburn was gonna return a missed FG 109 yards to beat Bama or the way Game 6 of the Finals ended. That’s why sports is the best thing on TV because it’s organic, unpredictable and features authentic human behavior. It’s not scripted or the action carefully concocted in some Hollywood office to mimic certain scenarios.

    • LMNOP

      I think “everyone else is watching” is actually a decent reason to watch a show, because then you can understand and participate in conversations about that show (although look at you writing 6 paragraphs about a show you don’t watch… maybe you have a gift). I have tried to watch a bunch of shows for this reason, but scandal’s the only one that took. Sports is something to talk about too I guess. Too boring for me.

      • Secret Sauce

        I sorta get paid to write about crime. You could say writing is a gift.

        • LMNOP

          Shonda Rhimes probably gets paid even more to write about crime, you could try watching as an educational experience lol.

    • iamnotakata

      “No one in America could have predicted Auburn was gonna return a missed FG 109 yards to beat Bama”
      Or the fact that a Bama fan would kill a another Bama fan because they weren’t as mad as they were that Bama lost…lol and smh

    • h.h.h.

      That’s why sports is the best thing on TV because it’s organic, unpredictable and features authentic human behavior. It’s not scripted or the action carefully concocted in some Hollywood office to mimic certain scenarios.

      SS for the win

      http://i754.photobucket.com/albums/xx183/bennyb973/Co-sign.gif

      • Yoles

        there sure are a lot of SS on here:

        secret sauce
        sigma since 93
        super strings

        hmmmm

        • http://daratmathis.wordpress.com/ dtafakari

          right! Who owns the rights to the nickname? who was the first SS? Although Sigma Since should technically be SS93…

        • SuperStrings

          Although my name is technically one word. You can just call me Big S. lol

    • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com/ Tristan

      Pretty much Iwould have to be snowed in, in July and have my cable off to sit and watch scandal, otherwise #thegameson

      And I so predicted the field goal return

      • http://daratmathis.wordpress.com/ dtafakari

        I saw that. CrAZY.

    • http://www.twitter.com/IluminatiNYC Todd

      That last sentence…TRUTH!

    • panamajackson

      Here’s why you’re wrong (because you don’t watch). While the show is completely manufactured…you have no idea what kind of curve balls the writers are capable of until you see them. There have been moments in Scandal that NOBODY saw coming…no matter how they try to tell you they knew. That’s the point there.

      I’m right.

      • Secret Sauce

        But you know the curveballs are coming, though. If not for the expectation of them, folks wouldn’t continue to watch.

        • panamajackson

          Trust me…some you can’t see coming. The beginning of the ep two weeks ago…NOBODY SAW THAT COMING.

    • Brother Mouzone

      “That’s why sports is the best thing on TV because it’s organic, unpredictable and features authentic human behavior. It’s not scripted or the action carefully concocted in some Hollywood office to mimic certain scenarios.” ——OR ATTEMPT TO INFLUENCE BEHAVIOR.
      4 thumbs up!!!!!

  • minxbrie

    I need to sit this one out. I can’t read Scandal spoilers – I haven’t watched in the past month because my heart needed a break and I was *trying* to stay focused on school. I’m in the middle of exams right now and what am I doing? Hanging around VSB…I have no respect for myself.

    But I will say this: If a man doesn’t watch Scandal, but wants to talk out of his backside what he THINKS he knows of the show and what he THINKS the show is all about, I immediately offer him a seat in the back.

    • LMNOP

      good luck with your exams!

      • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

        ditto!

    • helga_g

      I have no respect for my education as well…took a break from this paper to lurk on VSB lol

    • helga_g

      I have no respect for my education as well…took a break from this paper to lurk on VSB lol

    • panamajackson

      Not sure I dropped any spoilers…actually…yes I did…you right. Stay away.

  • LMNOP

    I love that you wrote this!!!!

    I always suspected that men who hate scandal don’t actually watch it, because it’s kind of like crack, you might have a problem with it, but try it and tell me you don’t want more…

    • http://www.twitter.com/IluminatiNYC Todd

      I’ve actually tried it, just to see what the fuss is about. I get the appeal of the show, but meh. Then again, I don’t watch much primetime period, so I’m not the audience this show is checking for. I’m more of the “reason half your d*mn cable bill goes to sport networks” due to all the sports I watch. Thanks for the subsidies though. :)

      • LMNOP

        I wish I could find a fuck to give about sports. People seem to have fun with that, caring deeply about “their” teams and all that. But I just can’t care that much about a ball being thrown around.

        • http://www.twitter.com/IluminatiNYC Todd

          I think sports is something you have to be involved with on some level to get into. Either you played it, either for fun or competitively, or you grew up around a lot of people who are into one team or another. If you played a sport, you can emphasize with the athletes and understand what they’re going through, which makes the experience more dramatic. Even if you don’t play, just being a part of the crowd and reacting how they react when certain things happen can get you into it.

          I think the reason I don’t get into a lot of dramas and whatnot is that I have no connection to their world. I can recognize a well-written story when I see it, but IDGAF about the people. Plus, to me, real life is way more interesting than what most people can write anyway.

      • panamajackson

        I think you need to watch from the beginning. The first season had 7 episodes. That’s not that much. If you check those out and find it crappy, then I’d totally agree with you.

  • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

    Those men who don’t watch Scandal and yet, are the first to speak up about the inconsistencies with the morals and ethics of women who watch the show, are the same men who are proud owners of dry d*ck.

    • LMNOP

      Panama had a good point too about watching scandal being a good conversation starter.

      • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

        It is. Men are doing themselves a disservice by acting like it won’t at least get them a 15 minute conversation with a pretty woman they’re trying to get to know. It’s a win-win. Either the woman loves Scandal, or she hates it. You get to pick her brain about whichever it is regardless.

        Men out here hustling backwards by throwing salt.

        • LMNOP

          Especially when their hate for scandal has a lot of “this is what is wrong with you women people” to it. Mostly, we don’t really like that.

          • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

            Men just don’t want women to enjoy chexual freedom the way they do. They’re very selfish like that.

            • Msdebbs

              No such thing as chexual freedom for a women…according to most men your just a heaux in their book BUT they’ll still (try to) hit.

            • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com/ Tristan

              *whistles for the reach*

            • LMNOP

              I just want some chexual freedom for Olivia. Fitz must be doing voodoo or something on her, making her somehow unable to see she could be getting good chex from someone who is not a psychopath.

              • http://www.twitter.com/IluminatiNYC Todd

                That is probably the realest part of the show. You know how many people, male and female, have been hypnotized off of good D and P? That is as old as the hills.

                • LMNOP

                  Before I die I would like to have chex that amazing. But without any of the negatives.

                  • Yoles

                    unfortunately chex that amazing always seems to come with the negatives… its the universe balancing things out…imo

            • SuperStrings

              Their selfishness is counterproductive though. If women can’t be secksually free, then doesn’t it also reduce their opportunity to be secksually free? I mean, who are they going to be secksually free with if all the women are chaste?

              • LMNOP

                Not all men are as smart as you.

              • http://daratmathis.wordpress.com/ dtafakari

                heh. chastity doesn’t imply length of chastity and it doesn’t indicate inability to get chexually free. both are decisions that are not mutually exclusive, i think.

                but otherwise, agreed :)

                • SuperStrings

                  Surely. I’m just saying that men can’t have it both ways. You can’t be here trying to fuck everything that moves while telling women not to move.

                  • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                    Not only that, men expect their future gf/wife to be able to take dyck, throw it back, know the vice grip of death, etc. with little to no chexual experience.

                    • Yoles

                      the facts that you stated above are lifestyle riddles that keep me up at night AP…

                    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                      I don’t stress myself over men and their flawed chex logic. I’ll smash who I want, when I want, and how I want. I don’t really care how men feel about my chexual past especially if they aren’t a part of my chexual present.

                    • SuperStrings

                      Dudes are talking out of both sides of their mouths. Lots of dudes will tell you that they learned a lot of their tricks from more experienced women. It’s all smoke and mirrors. lol

                    • LMNOP

                      All I know about chex was magically transmitted to me via fairy dust as I flew my little virgin self through the ozone layer on my flying purple unicorn.

              • afronica

                An ex and I were talking about the importance of good chex in a relationship. He was saying it was probably the most important thing to him. But he also said that he would look sideways at a woman who had too many moves. I pointed out the contradiction and he acknowledged it, but still said that too good “good good” would make him think his girl’s a garden tool.

                You know how the best actors make it seem like their dialogue just occurred to them on the spot? Makes me wonder how much Sundance-nominated caliber acting is going on in bedrooms.

                • Yoles

                  i say none… chex is something that either you doing it right or you just faking it… if homeboy is good, dat boy good and if homegirl is good dat girl is good…
                  men confuse themselves as they confuse us… if she’s too good she’s a hoe… pls i know many hoes that are wack… # of partners is NOT equal to proficiency… can someone explain the dyck logic for this one??

                  • SuperStrings

                    “can someone explain the dyck logic for this one??”
                    I have nothing.

                    • Yoles

                      you must come up with something @superstrings:disqus! do it for your people!! you can use science and physics and venn diagrams and everything…

                      GO

                    • SuperStrings

                      I don’t pry into a chick’s history too much. I find out if she has/had std’s, but I don’t ask numbers or how she came by her skills.

                    • Yoles

                      you’re a scientist… and yet you did not even attempt to tackle the question as posed to you… hmmmmm strike 0.5 lol

                    • SuperStrings

                      But I already said I had nothing on the question posed. I can make something up, but do you want me to do that? I wouldn’t want to lie to you Yolie Yoles. ;-)

                    • Yoles

                      i thought you would poll your people and get back to me…

            • keisha brown

              welllllllllllps.

      • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com/ Tristan

        Gladiator, 752, tried it, earn me, hair laid, twice as hard for half as much…I know enough references to fake it like Elaine

        • LMNOP

          I don’t even know what “hair laid” means and I just might have watched almost every episode more than once… so you get a A for effort

          • afronica

            This is what happens when you confuse Twitter commentary by @Luvvie on Scandal (Olivia’s hair is always laidt, no matter what) with things actually said on Scandal.

            • Londa

              Her recaps are killer! Love ‘em.

    • Mrs. Afro Jay

      dyiiiiing @ dry dyck! Lawd!

    • SuperStrings

      Damb, what kind of dude is proud to have dry dyck? lol

    • Shamira

      Up there with the men who talk every week about how awful Scandal is but know ALL of the details. How do you know what Quinn is up to sir???

      • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com/ Tristan

        Twitter.

        • Shamira

          no, im talking about the non-major plotlines. Twitter aint telling you about Abby and David getting it on.

          • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com/ Tristan

            i have no idea who those people are, i see your point.

        • panamajackson

          Twitter really will tell you everything you need to know. You might not be able to spot Abby in public, but you know how boring her life is this season.

    • panamajackson

      I actually disagree with your contention that these men are the owners of dry d*ck. Do not underestimate how easy it is to get p*ssy even as the most uncouth incosistent f*cker on the planet.

      • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

        Hmmm….I’ll concede to that point. You right, you are right.

  • h.h.h.

    6 is a good reason. ill pass.

    • LMNOP

      I wonder how many people will have disliked this by 9 in the morning. I’m guessing a lot. I was one of them.

      • h.h.h.

        i’m gonna say…7-10 dislikes, lol. it’s all good tho.

        • LMNOP

          I see now people have been liking your comment, probably just because I said that.

          • h.h.h.

            i’m disappointed, really.

            Do y’all see this insubordination i’m showing? that i feel that there are some shows..dareisay for women??? i’m not lockstep with the XX gender??? Gadzooks and Gefilte-fish! i must be downvoted so i learn my place!!!

    • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com/ Tristan

      Cp3 flow

  • Sincerity Hightower

    love this nothing else to add

  • OjiMcGillicutty

    Wow if scandal is like the alabama/auburn game then I might give scandal a try when it’s 5.00 usd at Walmart…but I’m making no promises. lol Sidenote: even though I #rolltide sometimes, I must say Auburn #didthat!

    • http://www.twitter.com/IluminatiNYC Todd

      And you somehow are still alive? I didn’t think they’d play that in Alabama. I know in New York, you don’t mess with both squads in an area, lest you get checked.

      • OjiMcGillicutty

        Thank God I don’t live in Alabama lol

    • panamajackson

      While I want Auburn to play for the national championship if they win..its purely an SEC thing. I HATE AUBURN.

      • OjiMcGillicutty

        I don’t hate auburn. I hate saban’s man-made, god-given status. I’m mostly a Tweener. lolol

  • keisha brown

    http://www.sharkvsbear.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/gifs___177.gif <-its flu season…

    oh. i. cant. wait.
    this should be good.

    i predict:
    accusations of pandering for panties
    strong rebukes
    accusation of pandering for page views
    more strong rebukes
    a few dudes to come out of the closet
    a few women to take a holier than thou stance on why they are above watching the show
    gladiators fighting everyone….

    see y'all later….

    • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com/ Tristan

      Stop leaving me

      • keisha brown

        never trizz. never. :)

    • http://daratmathis.wordpress.com/ dtafakari

      i see no reason to rehash my holier than thou stance. lol.

    • SuperStrings

      Does Scandal really cause all that commotion? I may be out of the twitter loop since I don’t have twitter. I don’t see what the big deal is though. Why can’t people just like what they like, and leave others to like what they like.

      • Kozy

        if you could answer this, 1/3 of twitter would be pointless. preferences bring about such ire and conflict. it’s sadly predictable.

        • SuperStrings

          Ire though? Over a tv show? Some people stay doing the most over the least.

          • Kozy

            if only it were just over TV shows. prefer guys over a certain height? problems. prefer larger women? problems. and let’s not scratch the surface of sexuality and who can do what to who, where, and with how many people. I have so many muted topics it’s almost not worth it.

      • Shamira

        SS because that would be employing common sense, which, as we know, is in short supply these days.

        • SuperStrings

          I do get accused of common sense sometimes. My bad, I’m working on it. lol

      • panamajackson

        I’m not sure if it still is as much as it used to be, but dudes DEF used to go in on Twitter. I’d watch it in real time and be amazed. This was before I saw the show.

        I think some dudes just hate it though b/c women love it too mucha nd they know that Liv is a trollop. And its like how y’all gon’ love a trollop. SHOW IS TERRIBLE.

      • Msdebbs

        cause its easier to follow the crowd and hate.

      • keisha brown

        that’s what the fans would like to know.