Theory & Essay

7 Reasons Why I Love Christmas (Or Whatever Loosely Religious Based Holiday You May or May Not Celebrate)

Christmas is just a few days away and I’ve finally got the spirit. It could be because DC hasn’t seen this much snow since Rayful ran the streets. Or it could be because I just blew at least half a G on presents for my loved ones.

Ah yes, the Christmas spirit.

Now I know some people celebrate Kwanzaa, which I’m not personally big on, but hey, to each his own. I won’t begrudge anybody anything that keeps them in a happy place.

Either way, as a sort of way of saying Merry Christmas in a PJ way, I figured I’d let you all know seven reasons why I love Christmas.

1. Gifts

Look, I know giving is better than receiving (double entredre alert) and all that jazz. But I do love getting stuff.  Generally, I don’t need anything but you’d be amazed (as I often am) at how good some people get at figuring out new and curious gift ideas that I’d never have thought of. My girl? Queen of that. She actually got me alphabetical CD dividers for a recent holiday and I was like, “man, I’d NEVER think of this and I so need it.” Hopefully I do the same.

2. Hanging with family

I miss my family…a lot. But I have one of my own now too. Hopefully I can start some kind of new tradition like we have in my family down in the A where my uncle shows up with a trunkful of liquor and he and all my uncles just sit around and get drunk. Yeah, that’s a good Christmas tradition.

3. Mall Santas

Mostly because I find it amusing that this is the only time of year where a random white guy can have thousands of little kids sit on his lap and nobody thinks anything’s wrong with it. I’m guessing this is a confusing time of year for R. Kelly.

4. Christmas music

While clearly everybody doesn’t need to make Christmas music – I’m looking at you Jim Jones – most of the music is pretty entertaining and good. Especially from the Motown years. From TLC’s “Sleigh Ride” to Outkast’s “Player’s Ball”…wait.  How many people, by a show of hands, didn’t realize that Outkast’s first single was a Christmas song? We should just be glad they weren’t asked to create a St. Patrick’s day song.

Oh yeah, my girl suggested that R. Kelly and The-Dream make a Christmas album. It would be possibly be the greatest guilty pleasure of all time.  Like R. Kelly’s new album, which sounds like a The-Dream album, which sounds like an R. Kelly album. That sentence just made me want to quit life.

And likewise…

5. Christmas movies

I didn’t realize how many random Christmas movies there were in existence until I saw Steve Guttenberg in a recent movie. And he looked 75. Basically, if he’s still getting movie roles that means that there are too many movies being made. But yay.

6. Christmas dinner

As long as I’m not cooking it anyway. I love big family gatherings…at somebody’s else’s house. Cleaning beaucoup dishes? So not the business. Eating everybody else’s good food? So the business.

7.  Vacation

Nobody likes working and I’m not different. I love when this time of year comes around and the holidays just keep a-coming. Plus with all the red and green around all I think is Kool-Aid and money.  Two of my favorite things.  Word to the von Trapps.

Anyway, that’s what I love about Christmas.  What about you?

Merry Christmas b*tches.  And we’ll see you on the other side.

Happy holidays from Very Smart Brothas (and Liz).

– VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIRL, HE A 3

PS. Lawdwilling, tomorrow we’ll have a dope surprise for you to take into Christmas Day. Lawdwilling, that is.

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Panama Jackson

Panama Jackson is pretty fly for a light guy. He used to ship his frito to Tito in the District, but shipping prices increased so he moved there to save money. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. Most importantly, he believes the children are our future.

  • lifesajourney09

    LOL@ the Rayful reference. Only 5 people will fully get it. Know your street legends!

  • lifesajourney09

    LOL@ the Rayful reference. Only 5 people will fully get it. Know your street legends!

  • J. Delicious

    grandma’s rum cake with a glass of grandma’s eggnog.

    that is all.

  • J. Delicious

    grandma’s rum cake with a glass of grandma’s eggnog.

    that is all.

  • Miss Patterson

    This is my first time back in my hometown around the holidays in about 14 years. What’s changed however, is that my mother no longer lives here, so it’s like being home without the physical home. Still, it reminds me of the things I most treasured about Christmas.

    1. Seeing old friends. I had a dose of this around Thanksgiving. It seemed like everywhere I looked there was someone to represent each stage of life growing up in Pittsburgh. I ran into someone from grade school, middle school and high school all in one evening. I love nostalgia. Love it.
    2. Snow. I woke up Saturday morning to a winter wonderland. I felt like I’d been catapulted back in time to 1984. Nothing brings me more joy than to wake up and see snow covering everything in sight. It’s just awakens the little girl in me. I just wish somebody would take me sledding or skiing or something. But my new negro friends aren’t in that stuff, I guess…
    3. Giving presents. I love giving presents. I actually take pride in being a pretty awesome gift-giver. I pay attention, I take notes throughout the year. I’m like Kramer, but a foot shorter and less involuntary movements. I love to see the looks on people’s faces when they open my gifts. It gets me all giddy.
    4. The night before Christmas. Ever since I was a little girl, the night before Christmas was almost as exciting as Christmas day itself. My brother and I would sit with anticipation for everyone to go to bed, and then we would stay up half the night wrapping presents. I’m also really good at that too. I worked at Crane & Co for 2 years and The Gap for like 3, and we had to do a lot of flawless wrapping for window displays & customers.
    5. Making out – this doesn’t really apply right now. But nothing is better than having someone to make out with around the holidays, particularly Christmas. There’s something magical about getting felt up with a cashmere sweater on.
    6. Christmas music– gone are the days of WAMO, but when the station was around, we used to crank up the radio in our house to listen to Motown Christmas songs while we cooked, opened presents and ate baked goodies. which brings me to…
    7. Chocolate chip cookies & milk– I don’t have a huge sweet tooth and I’m partially allergic to dairy, but the holidays really can’t keep me from this combination.
    8. Eggnog– love it. My mother has a bomb a$$ recipe for eggnog that calls for about 10 liters of every dark rum, brandy and heavy cream you can imagine. She doesn’t make it anymore. But the recipe still lives. Now we just spike the store bought eggnog. One day, when I have my own fam’ I will bring the family eggnog recipe back to life. I’m also allergic to eggs, but hives once a year won’t hurt. right?
    9. Movie Outing – this is actually a tradition in my family. We always go to the movies on Christmas evening. There’s always several blockbuster movies to pick from, and it’s a great way to end the day. Although lately there are a lot less “happy” movies to choose from. Last year, we saw Marley & Me (without reading the book or the premise) and let’s just say it’s not a whimsical flick about a cute couple and their wacky dog. Still that was better than the year we accidentally saw Sleepers.

    Thanks Panama! Great post. I am now officially “in the Christmas spirit!”

    • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

      @Miss Patterson,

      This was a terrific list all around. Good look on number 4, too. Made me all nostalgic.

      I’ll always remember one Christmas as a kid when I found where my presents were hidden (it was a dumb place…like the closet. Oh, Grandma! lol You know your sneaky grandchild!) and you’d think that it would take a bit of the anticipation out of Christmas morning, but it didn’t. In fact, I was excited about how I was gonna ACT surprised and just excited about playing with my new toys. I shoulda got a dayum Academy Award that Christmas, too. lol I gasped, ooohed, and ahhed like the best of them.

      • http://presidentialtelevisionandfilm.ning.com Monk

        @Cheekie,

        Am I the only one who has ever got in trouble for finding where my parents hid my gifts? I mean for real, how you gonna punish a child for using his innate senses for discovery and reasoning to track down where his gifts were hid? I should’ve gotten extra toys for accomplishing such a feat.

        • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

          @Monk,

          HAHA, I only found my gifts that one time and I was slick with mine. lol They genuinely thought I was surprised. I think I ended up tellin’ my mama years later when I was a teen. She just gave me a side-eye.

          But, yeah, good point. And how are they gonna prove you were actively looking for the gifts? What if you just up and came across them while looking for something else? lol I woulda been like, “But, you told me to get the broom!!”.

        • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

          @Monk,

          HAHA, I only found my gifts that one time and I was slick with mine. lol They genuinely thought I was surprised. I think I ended up tellin’ my mama years later when I was a teen. She just gave me a side-eye.

          But, yeah, good point. And how are they gonna prove you were actively looking for the gifts? What if you just up and came across them while looking for something else? lol I woulda been like, “But, you told me to get the broom!!”.

        • miss t-lee

          @Monk,
          Shoooo.
          All the years coming up I don’t where my parents hid gifts. They must have been hiding them at my grannie’s or riding around with them in their cars. We would search the house every chance we got, and could not find anything.
          Then Christmas morning…bam! Gifts…lol

        • miss t-lee

          @Monk,
          Shoooo.
          All the years coming up I don’t where my parents hid gifts. They must have been hiding them at my grannie’s or riding around with them in their cars. We would search the house every chance we got, and could not find anything.
          Then Christmas morning…bam! Gifts…lol

      • http://presidentialtelevisionandfilm.ning.com Monk

        @Cheekie,

        Am I the only one who has ever got in trouble for finding where my parents hid my gifts? I mean for real, how you gonna punish a child for using his innate senses for discovery and reasoning to track down where his gifts were hid? I should’ve gotten extra toys for accomplishing such a feat.

      • Miss Patterson

        @Cheekie & Monk, I found my Christmas gift once. I was maybe 9 or 10 and I found my Barbie Van!! I was so excited when I saw that pink & white Mattell box. My mother was able to tell that the packaging had been disturbed and she was really disappointed. I tried to pretend that I didn’t know what she was talking about and I tried to convince her that I broke the code on Santa. They weren’t buying it…but I still got my Barbie Van. ;)

      • Miss Patterson

        @Cheekie & Monk, I found my Christmas gift once. I was maybe 9 or 10 and I found my Barbie Van!! I was so excited when I saw that pink & white Mattell box. My mother was able to tell that the packaging had been disturbed and she was really disappointed. I tried to pretend that I didn’t know what she was talking about and I tried to convince her that I broke the code on Santa. They weren’t buying it…but I still got my Barbie Van. ;)

    • http://www.sistersoundoff.blogspot.com Cheekie

      @Miss Patterson,

      This was a terrific list all around. Good look on number 4, too. Made me all nostalgic.

      I’ll always remember one Christmas as a kid when I found where my presents were hidden (it was a dumb place…like the closet. Oh, Grandma! lol You know your sneaky grandchild!) and you’d think that it would take a bit of the anticipation out of Christmas morning, but it didn’t. In fact, I was excited about how I was gonna ACT surprised and just excited about playing with my new toys. I shoulda got a dayum Academy Award that Christmas, too. lol I gasped, ooohed, and ahhed like the best of them.

    • Nikiloveli

      @Miss Patterson,

      You poor dears! You saw “Sleepers” on Christmas?!

      *****shudder******

      The very notion has temporarily sapped my yuletide joy.

    • Nikiloveli

      @Miss Patterson,

      You poor dears! You saw “Sleepers” on Christmas?!

      *****shudder******

      The very notion has temporarily sapped my yuletide joy.

    • http://www.shay-d-lady.com shay_d_lady

      @Miss Patterson, we go to the movies too!!! I love your list..especially the egg nog and cookies and milk

      • Miss Patterson

        @shay_d_lady, yay! you’ll have to let me know what you guys end up picking this year.

      • Miss Patterson

        @shay_d_lady, yay! you’ll have to let me know what you guys end up picking this year.

    • http://www.shay-d-lady.com shay_d_lady

      @Miss Patterson, we go to the movies too!!! I love your list..especially the egg nog and cookies and milk

  • Miss Patterson

    This is my first time back in my hometown around the holidays in about 14 years. What’s changed however, is that my mother no longer lives here, so it’s like being home without the physical home. Still, it reminds me of the things I most treasured about Christmas.

    1. Seeing old friends. I had a dose of this around Thanksgiving. It seemed like everywhere I looked there was someone to represent each stage of life growing up in Pittsburgh. I ran into someone from grade school, middle school and high school all in one evening. I love nostalgia. Love it.
    2. Snow. I woke up Saturday morning to a winter wonderland. I felt like I’d been catapulted back in time to 1984. Nothing brings me more joy than to wake up and see snow covering everything in sight. It’s just awakens the little girl in me. I just wish somebody would take me sledding or skiing or something. But my new negro friends aren’t in that stuff, I guess…
    3. Giving presents. I love giving presents. I actually take pride in being a pretty awesome gift-giver. I pay attention, I take notes throughout the year. I’m like Kramer, but a foot shorter and less involuntary movements. I love to see the looks on people’s faces when they open my gifts. It gets me all giddy.
    4. The night before Christmas. Ever since I was a little girl, the night before Christmas was almost as exciting as Christmas day itself. My brother and I would sit with anticipation for everyone to go to bed, and then we would stay up half the night wrapping presents. I’m also really good at that too. I worked at Crane & Co for 2 years and The Gap for like 3, and we had to do a lot of flawless wrapping for window displays & customers.
    5. Making out – this doesn’t really apply right now. But nothing is better than having someone to make out with around the holidays, particularly Christmas. There’s something magical about getting felt up with a cashmere sweater on.
    6. Christmas music– gone are the days of WAMO, but when the station was around, we used to crank up the radio in our house to listen to Motown Christmas songs while we cooked, opened presents and ate baked goodies. which brings me to…
    7. Chocolate chip cookies & milk– I don’t have a huge sweet tooth and I’m partially allergic to dairy, but the holidays really can’t keep me from this combination.
    8. Eggnog– love it. My mother has a bomb a$$ recipe for eggnog that calls for about 10 liters of every dark rum, brandy and heavy cream you can imagine. She doesn’t make it anymore. But the recipe still lives. Now we just spike the store bought eggnog. One day, when I have my own fam’ I will bring the family eggnog recipe back to life. I’m also allergic to eggs, but hives once a year won’t hurt. right?
    9. Movie Outing – this is actually a tradition in my family. We always go to the movies on Christmas evening. There’s always several blockbuster movies to pick from, and it’s a great way to end the day. Although lately there are a lot less “happy” movies to choose from. Last year, we saw Marley & Me (without reading the book or the premise) and let’s just say it’s not a whimsical flick about a cute couple and their wacky dog. Still that was better than the year we accidentally saw Sleepers.

    Thanks Panama! Great post. I am now officially “in the Christmas spirit!”

  • Miss Patterson

    testing, 1 2 3 testing. i just wrote something and it disappeared. twice.

    • Miss Patterson

      VSB won’t let me post my list. i’ve tried about 4 times, and each time it disappears into thin air. Not even a moderation notice appeared. (perhaps i’m on the naughty list this year…) Anywho, great post, PJ! Merry Christmas, Everyone!

    • Miss Patterson

      VSB won’t let me post my list. i’ve tried about 4 times, and each time it disappears into thin air. Not even a moderation notice appeared. (perhaps i’m on the naughty list this year…) Anywho, great post, PJ! Merry Christmas, Everyone!

  • Miss Patterson

    testing, 1 2 3 testing. i just wrote something and it disappeared. twice.

  • http://www.shay-d-lady.com shay-d-lady

    I love christmas carols..
    being off from work
    and getting drunk after family dinner with the fam…especially now that all my sistas’ and brotha’s are legal
    the look on my daughter’s face when she open’s her gifts

  • http://www.shay-d-lady.com shay-d-lady

    I love christmas carols..
    being off from work
    and getting drunk after family dinner with the fam…especially now that all my sistas’ and brotha’s are legal
    the look on my daughter’s face when she open’s her gifts

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