Dating, Relationships, & Sex, Theory & Essay

60 Days? Try 60 Seconds: Why Age Makes Us Easy

"Where were you when I was 19???" "In middle school."  "Oh. Nevermind, then."

“Where were you when I was 19???” “In middle school.” “Oh. Never mind, then.”

While on Gchat with Panama last Thursday, he showed me a couple sex-related quotes with considerable overlap that he was going to include in his Friday post. One had to do with the fact that the older you get, the “easier” it seems to have sex. The other was about the idea that those arbitrary 60 to 90 day waiting periods some women set on new potentials before considering sleeping with them are usually null and void if she likes you enough. Basically, be her Jay-Z.

I (obviously) agreed. In fact, I’d bet that if we polled all the 30+ men and women on VSB, most would agree that it’s substantially “easier” (more on why “easier” is in quotes a little later) to get someone you actually like in bed now than it was when you were 21. Ironically, for those who went to college, this theory still may hold true despite the fact that you might have literally lived within four blocks of thousands of eligible singles at that age.

Anyway, while I have no doubt that age makes us easy, I spent all weekend (and by “all weekend” I mean “the 240 seconds it takes me to drive from my house to Giant Eagle“) thinking about why. Here’s what I’ve come up with.

1. Sex Just Doesn’t Matter As Much

Ok. Ok. Ok. Ok. Put down your pitchforks and rotten tomatoes. I don’t mean that age makes sex meaningless or unimportant or irrelevant or any other adjective you’d use to describe Swizz’s role in the Magna Carta Holy Grail spot. Sex is great and wonderful and magical and murderous and shit.

But, as a grown up, the actual act of having sex with a new person just doesn’t have the same gravity as it does when you were younger. As you get older, sex morphs from that THING that has a tendency to define a person’s social status and their entire perception of their own self-worth to a thing that people who like each other (or just happen to be drunk next to each other) do. Or don’t do.

And, when you remove all the social baggage—as age tends to do—getting some becomes less overwrought with metric tons of external and internet conflict and context and just, well, easier.

2. You’re Better At Vagina Vetting (and, um, Penis Protecting)

I imagine that most of you reading this have at least a few people in your dating histories that make you cringe, crack up, or cry (or all three) when thinking of them. These don’t even have to be people you dated seriously. Maybe it only lasted for one date, but you shake your head at the fact that you even accepted an invitation from that guy at the bus stop with the plait beads and the Coogi jumper who wrote your number down with a magic marker.

No one is above this. But, hopefully those types of stories happened more often when you were younger. As you get older, though, you (should) start to get more of a grasp on what you like and don’t like. Maybe you don’t have the exact answer yet, but the spectrum of what you’re willing to consider gets smaller and smaller each year.

As the spectrum shrinks, you’re less likely to interact with people you know you have absolutely no future with. Naturally, this makes you more likely to date people you actually like. And, if you’re spending more time around people you actually like, you’re probably more likely to like them enough to sleep with them. You’re not necessarily “easier,” just more thoughtful about dating people you could be easy with.

3. You Just Know More About The People You Consider Sleeping With

2007 was the last time I did a cold, context-free approach. I’ve met/approached numerous different women in that time period, in numerous different venues, and in numerous different manners. But, in each situation, there was some commonality. Maybe we were at a house party and shared friends. Perhaps we were at a happy hour and belonged to the same professional organization. And, maybe we knew who each other were before actually getting to know each other.

Point being, it’s extremely rare for me to meet someone new without any type of back story. And as I get older, it’s becoming rarer. (I am a pretty big deal and shit.)

Perhaps this doesn’t happen as much in cities with higher populations or with people who travel more often than I do, but I bet my experience is more the norm than the exception.

I’m bringing this up because this familiarity—even if it’s faint—causes us to relax ourselves a bit more than we would with someone completely new, and this relaxation tends to lead to quicker asswaxation. Maybe we don’t knowknow them yet, but we know where they work, know who’s in their circle, and know that we have 118 friends in common on Facebook.

And, like with all other things, context can be good (more informed choices about who we actually decide to date) and not so good (“I know I shouldn’t hit it raw, but she’s a lawyer and a Delta so we’re probably good.”)

4. You Give Less F*cks

And, when you give less f*cks, you do more f*cking!

5. The Power Shift

At the risk of offending 77.8% of the people reading this, I’ll keep this short. When younger, women (generally) wield most of the sexual/dating power. The first 21 or so years of most men’s life is a perpetual quest for “Yes.”

The power dynamic starts to shift as we get older, as (generally speaking) “committed relationship” replaces “sex” on the top of the “Thing Wanted More Than Anyone Wants Anything Else” list.

This change, um, changes things.

(And that’s all I’m going to say about that.)

.—Damon Young (aka “The Champ”)

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Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a contributing editor for EBONY.com. He resides in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes.

  • Yoles

    as the resident SweetSlut (TM) i agree… once i got older all the what would people think, who would that person tell, where can we do it etc, etc… went out the building… now as a fully sex positive cis woman i do the lay down and move around or if i feeling freaky the stand up and crotch bump ;) with whomever where ever i see fit…

  • Yoles

    as the resident SweetSlut (TM) i agree… once i got older all the what would people think, who would that person tell, where can we do it etc, etc… went out the building… now as a fully sex positive cis woman i do the lay down and move around or if i feeling freaky the stand up and crotch bump ;) with whomever where ever i see fit…

    • nillalatte

      I sometimes think that some men forget that we have basically reverse sexual appetites. Men have theirs early whereas woman later.

      • Sahel

        Thats biologically proven women get hornier with age. Its natures cruel joke on couples lol

        • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

          No joke on Lesbian couples though. :-)

          • Todd

            So what are the other 95% of women supposed to do? Knit? LOL

            • Kema

              Find 18 year olds

              • Yoles

                oh boy this is why my cougar card has been revoked… i am so disinterested in coitus with a young dude… so disinterested in the way they do it, teaching or having to say slow down too many times… oh lawd i got 99 problems and the d!ck is one

          • Bunni

            amen!

        • nillalatte

          And, that’s why it’s somewhat of a disappointment for older women to date older men. He wants the ballgame and a sandwich whereas she wants a hotdog. :D LOL

          • Sahel

            Yeah well,that’s why viagra exists

            • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

              *makes another incident report*

              • Sahel

                Bunk these incident reports. I have Kema to back me up in my case so bring it on.,

                • Kema

                  *Nods head* lol

          • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

            True but, usually when an older women dates an even older man it’s usually for prestige or security.

            • nillalatte

              Define older? I’m looking for one right now about 20 years my senior, on oxygen, and one foot in the grave. Is that the kind of ‘older’ you’re thinking of? LMAO!

              This last dude I was hanging with was 10 months older than me. It was kind of ironic in a way. The ex-hubby is 10 months younger than me. I was like… this is sort of weird. That and dude was 6′ 2″. What Asian dude is 6′ 2″? I was like, “Are you sure your full blooded Filipino?” :D

              • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

                Hey, lots of Filipinos don’t consider themselves Asian. They consider themselves Pacific Islanders and some of those dudes are huge. Lol.

                Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about. If you’re looking for a guy 20 years older than you it’s not for the chex, it’s for the security, right?

                • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

                  *loves edit feature*

                • nillalatte

                  LOL… True on the Pacific Islanders. He just went with Asian to humor the white girl. LOL

                  LMBO… I really ain’t looking for anyone, but if I were, yeah, so I could be a beneficiary and set for the rest of my life, sure. You know, kind of like Kim K. *snickers

                  • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

                    Yeah, Kim is pretty set at this point.

                    • Sahel

                      Get with Ellen and you can be set for life too. Free advice no charge

                    • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

                      Meh, Ellen isn’t my type.

                    • kidvideo

                      Do you have, or ever had, a thing for Tracy Camilla Johns(star of Spike Lee’s “She’s Gotta Have It”), would she be your type?

                    • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

                      Well, she’s cute, but I haven’t ever had a crush on her. Oh, and yeah, she could be my type I suppose depending on her personality. Why her?

                    • kidvideo

                      I’ve heard other blk women in the L club, of a certain age(mid 30s), say they had a thing for her…I did too…I really wanted her after New Jack City…I think that was her last film, beside a few music videos.

                    • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

                      Lol. I remember her as Uniqua in New Jack City.

                      I had more of a crush on Joie Lee in She’s Gotta Have it. She always seems to have such a sweet personality in films. Plus, I love her voice.

                    • Sahel

                      She has a sweet personality alright

                    • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

                      Shut it!

                    • kidvideo

                      Zhaawaa(that how her name sounds…lol) has an unconventional attractiveness…she did her thing with Denzel though in Mo Betta’.

                    • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

                      Yeah, she was really good in Mo’ Better Blues. Even though she took Bleek back in the end. She should have thrown him out!

                      And, I wouldn’t call her an unconventional beauty. She’s just one of those types that you don’t notice her beauty at first. Then you’re like, ‘wow, she’s cute’.

                    • kidvideo

                      No no…she’s attractive…but she wouldnt be the leading lady in a r&b/rap video…even in her early 20s…she doesn’t have “that” look….no KING/FHM layouts.

                    • Perverted Alchemist

                      To be fair, she was the leading lady in Tone Loc’s video for “WIld Thing”.

                    • kidvideo

                      I was referring to Joie Lee…but thanks for joining the convo.

                    • Perverted Alchemist

                      Yeah….sorry about that, LULZ!

                    • Sahel

                      Yeah well Alicia cant be had

                    • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

                      That’s not what my imagination tells me.

            • Kingheny2007

              that’s true

          • http://missrosen.wordpress.com/ esa

            that and too many men let themselves go .. a well tuned body keeps performance up ~*~

        • James Powe

          It really is cruel. But men pretty much reach their sexual peak at 18 and then stay horny…. FA LIFE. Or maybe that’s just me?? =/

      • Sahel

        Thats biologically proven women get hornier with age. Its natures cruel joke on couples lol

      • Todd

        Which is why the cougar phenomenon is a good thing. That, and it gives men with sh1tty moms a second chance to be nurtured, but that’s just me. :)

        • Mos Native

          ” That, and it gives men with sh1tty moms a second chance to be nurtured, but that’s just me. :)”

          Hoohah!

          • Todd

            Just keeping it 100 dog. I came for the easy $ex, stayed for the hugs, good food and advice. :)

            • kidvideo

              When i hit NYC, show me where to get some nutcracker(pause).

              • Bunni

                just dont get it from hipsters. Nutcrackers should NOT cost $10 lol

                • kidvideo

                  Maybe u can be my guide…i can pay…like i told yoles once…i just dont want to get stab by a Latin King(i wear black/gold alot).

                  • Asiyah

                    you won’t! the Kings aren’t as active anymore. and I will protect you!

            • Kingheny2007

              real spit

        • Perverted Alchemist

          Shots fired?

        • Sahel

          Todd the bunker is ready

    • Todd

      You should stand up in all times for that. Preferably in 6 inch stripper heels. :) *cackle*

      • IcePrincess

        I got it, Todd! I’m in! :)

  • nillalatte

    2Chainz… Truuuu… but, believe me, chex matters, but it matters in a different way, you’re right. Yes, sir, it certainly does matter later in life to women. Not that it didn’t before, but, guess what, older women are more likely to just want the relationship w/o commitment (i.e. legal bonds) and definitely the chex.

    WC where are you? Now, I really ain’t no cougar, but I probably could be if I wanted that life. But, I’d be frontin if I said I just want to chex you and dip. Nawl… I like to develop relationships like slow cooker style. Let that shyt simmer. Get the steam going. Tease a man like with the aroma of a slow cooked meal.

    For me, it translates to the boudoir in a much better style. And, I think an older man appreciates that approach more too. It’s more subtle, playful, dare I say, chexy. ;) That’s one of the ‘game’ moves (that’s for you know who) that drew my previous friend to me. I remember telling him about some relationships where I never had chex with the guy. That we’d just kiss and touch and roll around on the floor. He flat out said, “I want that!” Whoa… slow down. Of course you do. Every man likes to feel appreciated and when a woman can show that in subtle ways, clink clink… got cha. ;) Catch and release. LOL

    • http://wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

      Heyyy! Somebody mention my name? I was sleeping. I gotta get my beauty rest for my pro boxing debut coming up *crosses fingers* (pleaseohplease don’t let it get messed up somehow)

      It ain’t all hit it and quit it in the cougar life. Some guys are only good for sex. They don’t have much going for them outside the bedroom and I just keep them on the shelf for emergencies. Some guys you want as close friends and some are for relationships. Sometimes you wanna stretch out the tease. But I’m not good at teasing too long. The sexual energy can get stale and get lost. I like to strike the iron while it’s hot.

    • Todd

      Mmm…$ex without commitment. Now if you would teach little girls this mindset along with regular birth control usage, the number of bitter men in America would decrease by 87%! Why must $ex require emotional intimacy? Especially when it leads to abuse and control like I’ve known in my experience?

      • nillalatte

        I’m gonna share why chex, for most women, usually requires emotional intimacy; the feeling of being comfortable sharing your body with someone you trust is mainly the reason. Most women have to have some level of trust to be with a man so that she’s comfortable and uninhibited. Once that occurs, WATCH OUT! That’s when the freaks come out. Not that I would know or anything. *chuckles

      • Guest

        You have a daughter. Is this something you will be teaching her? Humph!

      • Asiyah

        $ex without commitment has become very enjoyable for me. Emotional intimacy sucks.

    • JayIzUrGod

      I like mental foreplay as much as possible, someone who’s intelligence and attitude brings a unique sexiness to the table.

      For example, I met Maris on Saturday. If my mouth is reckless, hers is on crash pilot. Which is totally awesome, because any guy trying to date her would be fully aware she is more than a pretty face off the first two sentences. You need things like that as you get older to enjoy the uniqueness of a person. The slow build up of those exchanges are what make even thinking about sexing somebody way more awesome. Its no fun to just dive in.

      • Sahel

        You met Maris ey,Dnt let it go any further until i put my bid in

        • JayIzUrGod

          Ha! Nah man, it ain’t like that. I just thought she was cool as sh*t, I don’t get to meet a lot of women who enjoy being crazy as f*ck the way I enjoy it. It was…refreshing.

          So go for t, lets see how she will react

      • panamajackson

        did you just do some boolovin’ in the comments? lol.

        • The Champ

          he did.

        • JayIzUrGod

          Lmao nah man, I’m not even touching that direction, I can just honestly admit when I’m impressed

      • h.h.h.

        i picked that up too..made her muy interesante to me.

        *double checks his phrase against google translate*

        • JayIzUrGod

          Indeed we met some awesome ladies on Saturday

          • h.h.h.

            indeed we did, sir…indeeeeed weeee diiid. lol

  • Guest

    Yeah,the best part about my line of work i stared hanging with people from so many cultures. The women that i have met have made me cringe at what i used to chase after in my late teens and early 20s. Sex isnt a priority anymore its just part of the discovery of who she is.

    • Perverted Alchemist

      Getting older gives you a new perspective on things.

  • Sahel

    Location,location.location

    • Sahel

      Am going to say sex actually dnt matter anymore.ever since i started working and travelling i have been exposed to so many types of women that am looking for a particular type of mindset. Sex is just part of the process of discovering who she is. Am i old.,maybe. But the tail i used to chase after in my late teens and early twenties just cant cut it now.

  • http://lizburr.com Liz

    these reasons also support why its easy to be abstinent at/after 30. Because at this point, two tears in a bucket.

    • JayIzUrGod

      Hmmm. I’ve been abstinent in my youth. Getting older doesn’t even make me sweat abstinence now, I guess because you no longer have a point to prove. But Liz, how do you avoid building up an expectation for the future you’re looking forward to?

      • http://missrosen.wordpress.com/ esa

        breaking the seal is beautiful. i’ve done it several times. never been let down. not once.

      • http://lizburr.com Liz

        I’m realistic about my expectations honestly. I just know not to hype it up to more than what it will be at least initially. Plus, by that time I will just be happy to be in the same room alone in my pajamas with my husband.

        • JayIzUrGod

          I understand. I’m trying to be the same, but I think my expectations are either way too simple or other people have expectations that are way too high. Can’t tell. Just looking forward to finding some kind of peace with it all.

    • IcePrincess

      Dang, girl, you still abstinent? When are you gonna stop the madness? Lol

      • Kingheny2007

        kwaaks

      • The Champ

        liz is just waiting on the rapture to get her freak on, that’s all

      • http://lizburr.com Liz

        @ice princess LMAO!!! Yuppp still holding it down. 2 years and counting. I’ll stop when I get married :)

    • SweetSass

      Really. I can’t imagine. I want sex more not less. Especially now I don’t have graduate studies to distract me…

  • AfroPetite

    Looks like today is a sit back and take notes type of day for me.

    • keisha brown

      you mean relax and take notes?

      • Tristan

        while you take tokes of the marijuana smoke

        • kidvideo

          throw u inna choke…gunsmoke, gunsmoke.

          • h.h.h.

            hhh for mayor, the rap slayer

  • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

    Okay, I tried to sign up for disqus and then it told me that I had an account. Really? But, apparently I did. Who knew. Anyway, I think I’m at my max for creating new online accounts now though. I really don’t have it in me to come up with a single other password. #passwordfatigue

  • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

    03. Everyone I have ever seriously dated I either met in school/ college or at work. I’ve never ended-up dating someone I met cold. I’ve always thought for most, ahem, well, a certain class of people, educated folks, this was the norm. And I’m not talking about hook-ups, fellas. I mean relationships. Am I wrong?

    • AfroPetite

      Nawl. Whenever I hear stories of people bumping into some fione stranger, who ultimately becomes their significant other, at the grocery store or in line at Panera Bread I always roll my eyes.

      • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

        Yep, me too. I mean who does that?

        • Sahel

          Believe in love at first sight. killjoys

          • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

            Yeah, it happened to me once. Or at least very deep attraction at first sight. But, she was a friend of someone I worked with. So, she had references.

            • Sahel

              Did you superman

              • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

                *goes to get bleach for Sahel*

                • Sahel

                  Hey,hey am talking about saving her from distress.

                  • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

                    Yeah, right. I’m going to tell Camille you were being narsty if you keep it up.

                    • Sahel

                      You took my words out of context,honest. Superman saves peeps.

                    • nillalatte

                      Soulja Boy has a different version of Superman. ;) Val apparently forgot about Clark Kent. LOL

                    • Sahel

                      Nilla knows what i was talking about

                    • nillalatte

                      Actually, I was thinking the same thing as Val. *blushes* until you clarified.

                    • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

                      Lol! See, she knows you too.

                    • Guest

                      Well,she hangs with the dirty minded VSS so she dont count

                    • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

                      Nope, I didn’t forget. I’ve just seen Sahel in action before.

                    • Sahel

                      This is highly unfair i have never been explicit like say AP or Rewind or the Alchemist. I mean afropetite literally swore how am i the suspect. Blackman get nah break

                    • AfroPetite

                      I am a saint!

                    • http://www.saysmeblog.wordpress.com/ Aly

                      Hmm… that’s funny, I swear I just read about you possibly sharing nude pictures ;)

                    • AfroPetite

                      Shhhhhhh

                    • kidvideo

                      Shhhhhhh
                      That wouldnt be tatted on your index finger would it?

                    • AfroPetite

                      I loathe cliche hipster tattoos. Girls with “promise” on their pinkies and “breathe” on their ribs get a swift kick in the neck on site.

                    • JayIzUrGod

                      Hey hey, my explicitness is the price everyone must pay for my realness

                    • Bunni

                      Raise your hand if you have ever been personally victimized by Sahel lol

                      **raises both hands**

                    • Sahel

                      What is this,therapy. Put you hands down

                    • Bunni

                      Dont fight this.

                    • Perverted Alchemist

                      Me? Explicit? Surely you jest…

                    • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

                      I’m filling out an incident report. Just so you know. Lol.

      • The Champ

        I used to do the cold approach thing pretty regularly. i’ve gotten numbers at libraries, bus stations, banana republic bathrooms, etc. but, as my social network grew, I just haven’t been compelled to do that anymore.

        • AfroPetite

          Am I ugly? Men never ask me for my number when I’m out and about and I specifically dress up to do mundane sh!t like get gas, pick up green grapes, or just walk around Barnes & Noble looking lost….

          :-(

          • Sahel

            Try sending sending signals aka smile

            • AfroPetite

              Well apparently smiling and waving is far too subtle

          • Maharaja Misty

            Try going outside looking like who done it and why. And they will come..

            • AfroPetite

              Ughhh truer words have never been spoken! Men must automatically sense when I’m not on my A game.

              • Maharaja Misty

                They do have a crusty day radar. I recently ran into all types of men yesterday, on my way to get myself together, and I think I looked like a disheveled hobo. My feet were so disrespectful, and I was wearing some bootcut Guess jeans I found in my basement, some unfortunate flip flops and a hat. Unbelievable how many ppl were in my face.

                • SweetSass

                  *bawls laughing* So true.

              • kidvideo

                If u walk around with a White Owl, i know couple guys who might holla…hope u like ice cream face tats…

        • h.h.h.

          you bolder than me, champ. #Respect #SaluteDaGeneral

      • Yoles

        i met the last guy i loved in duane reade… a quick my name is and i’d like to get to know you and the rest is history…

        • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

          Duane Reade though. Not even Walgreen’s. Lol.

          • 321mena123

            The shade.

            • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

              Lol.

        • http://twitter.com/ktemjin Kaname

          @Val – We have far more Duane Reade’s than Walgreens in NYC so Yoles is good!

    • nillalatte

      Thinking… um, yeah, the work place was the most common for me. But, there was this one dude, we met in the weirdest way. He was admired by a friend of mine at the club. Next couple of weeks, I ran into him at a convenience mart. Then I was looking for a car, he worked at the dealership. We dated for a while until I figured out he was running coke in them cars. Oops… gotta go.

      • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

        Lmao. See, that’s why it’s a bad idea to date strangers. Especially as we get older. People can get into all sorts of way out there stuff as time goes on. Worse than dealing drugs too.

      • Bunni

        my mama told me “never taste your honey where you make your money” so im terrified of dating ppl i work with….seems too risky, esp since I have the attn span of a goldfish and will PROB hate you in about 3wks lol

        • nillalatte

          Um, let me clarify… I met the guys at the jobs. I didn’t date them until after I left the job. I agree with mama and that has long been a personal policy of mine too. Me and your mama are >>> here <<<< on that one fa sho.

        • Guest

          I’m the same. I keep my peeps separate. Avoids all kinda drama. If I hang out with you on the regular around other people who know me, I will not be dating you. I prefer if no one I know knows you. No girlfriends trying to take my man. No co-workers or friends gossiping about my relationship. Nobody giving me unsolicited advice. Nobody snooping gathering evidence. I want none of that shit.

        • http://wildcougarconfessions.com Wild Cougar

          I’m the same. I keep my peeps separate. Avoids all kinda drama. If I hang out with you on the regular around other people who know me, I will not be dating you. I prefer if no one I know knows you. No girlfriends trying to take my man. No co-workers or friends gossiping about my relationship. Nobody giving me unsolicited advice. Nobody snooping gathering evidence. I want none of that ish

    • Todd

      Um, spoken as someone who actually works at places where the type of women they’d actually like to date work at. I just started this new job, and, no exaggeration, there are more Black women at this job (especially outside the hired help positions such as mail room and janitors) than all of my other jobs puts together. Unless I decided to date nothing but White chicks or get my Wesley Snipes/Redd Foxx on, I would have to work it out with the hand.

      The internet saved my a$$ a LOT dating wise. Though it did get me my wife so….

      • Bunni

        The internets got me my babygirl, but that was still like 2 degrees of separation (she went to my rival college), so it wasnt strange that our cyber paths crossed….

    • panamajackson

      I think thats accurate. All of my relationships have come via some connection I had. Nothing just based on the cold approach. Well not since I was like 22 anyway.

  • kidvideo

    Anybody ever had sex with someone who they had a crush on in HS…a decade+ after your graduation?

    • Yoles

      i did…

      • Yoles

        oh wait no that was his twin brother… whomp, whomp

        • Asiyah

          LOL!

    • Bunni

      yup, last fall…..was everything I expected it to be and then some….good thing we waited that long, I’m sure it wouldve been wack when we were amateurs in this hunching game

    • Asiyah

      I didn’t have a crush on him when we were in HS, but I did do it with someone I went to HS with…10 years later. It was eh. Some people are better left in the past.