Lists, Pop Culture

6 Reasons Why I Love Brandy & Ray-J’s Family Business Show

The blogs and Ninjanet have gone hogwild with disparaging remarks and comments about vh1’s latest foray into the world of those named Norwood. Can’t blame vh1 really. For the Love of Ray J 1 and 2 were such huge successes, they’d be stupid not to get back in bed with him. Hate him or love him, Ray J is a ratings bonanza. Add Brandy and her lacefront wig into the fold and you’ve got yourself a hit show. And I’m caught up like Usher in 2003. Usher in 2010, however, needs to just let it burn.

Anyway, folks are hating on this show, Brandy & Ray-J: A Family Business, thoroughly. Can’t say I blame them. Nobody can pinpoint why Ray-J is famous and he is corny as all hell. And Brandy hasn’t been relevant in AT LEAST five years, and I’m being generous. But I’m entertained. And you should be too. If you’re not, you’re watching it wrong.

So let me share my enthusiasm with you and let you know why I love this show…

1) First Black musical family we’ve seen on TV in a while

And no, Run’s House doesn’t count since Run is the only actual musician since Jojo’s rap career is about as potent as Eli Porters AND he got big leagued by his younger brother Diggy. With Brandy and Ray J, both of them actually have hits of sizable proportion. And I’m not talking the Kim Kardashian sex tape!

*rimshot*

No rimshots either. Add in big Willie Norwood and you’ve got the Jacksons minus all the talent, really high pitched voices, and albums people will still be listening to ten years from now.

2) Brandy rapping

You cannot make this sh*t up. She ACTUALLY bust out in freestyle or a REALLY badly written 8 bars to show her mother and other manager that she wanted to rap, which was of course shot down with the swiftness of a Bob Dole free arm slap. And if Timbaland is the reason she’s gained confidence in her rap abilities,  its no wonder Shock Value II sucked more balls than Pinky with a vacuum cleaner (no “Say Something”).

3) More of Ray’s ridiculous antics

This fool takes a 17-person van…to the club.  He had one of the highest rated shows on cable and doesn’t want to talk about it. He exists. For record, I like Ray J. He entertains me. I’d love to hang out with dude because you are guaranteed a good time. He’s like Puffy with 1/100th the money, so you’d probably have to pay your own way, but still. He seems fun as hell. If you need ignorant convo and stupider friends around, that dude delivers. All these other shows try, but they’re just DiGiornos.

4) Brandy’s hair and eyebrows

Eyebrows is an overstatement since I’m not sure she actually has them, but damn what an arch. I mean, I’ve seen arches before – McDonald’s comes to mind – but yeehaw. Her eyebrows reduce the size of her forehead by at least 45 percent. In fact, the only arch that compares is the big one in St. Louis. It’s impressive really. Plus, it takes you from eye to baby-hair lacefront weave territory. I had no idea what the hell a lacefront weave was until I started watching this show. I want one. I want to hold it. I want to carress it. I want to play catch with a lacefront weave.

5) They really do hang out and love eachother

So, Brandy and Ray actually have a real brother-sister relationship. How cute. The last one of those we saw where two “stars” were prominent was Michael and Janet and to this day we’re still not sure if they’re two different people. And yes I know Michael is dead. But are you sure? Are you? Did YOU see inside the casket? 

You think James Brown got clean when he went to heaven?

6) The opening segment where they sing

Mostly because neither of them has that great a voice but they think they do. Anybody else think its funny that Brandy’s singing voice (and speaking voice for that matter) is deeper than Ray J? However, as a Ray J fan, I did break out his 2005 album Raydiation, which I downloaded, and it’s pretty solid. “One Wish” was my sh*t. And it still is. I get more props and stunts than Bruce Willis.

Anyway, those are my reasons. What’s your call? Do you like it or hate it? Why?

How can you not like Ray after watching this show? Seriously?

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL, HE A 3

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Damon Young

Panama Jackson is pretty fly for a light guy. He used to ship his frito to Tito in the District, but shipping prices increased so he moved there to save money. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. Most importantly, he believes the children are our future.

  • Deeds

    I saw the beginning of the first episode and I just couldn’t. I just remember listening to Ray J talk about how “important” he was and all the “important” people he did business with and I was through. I’m still confused on what his talent is because it aint singing or acting.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @Deeds, RayJ’s talent is being RayJ. It is rife with entertainment and foolywang and confusion in the name of making the world a better place. RayJ is entertainment, and entertainment is RayJ.

      Don’t fight it, just accept it.

    • Mo

      Agreed! I HATE this show. I hate it mostly because Ray J is on it. I used to feel sorry for Kim K because she dated this loser, but now I’m just mad as hell that the infamous tape gave him the leverage needed to stage a career. Ugh! And I hate the mother for her constant babying of them both. The only way I’d watch this is if the father was the ONLY person on the show because he’s the only one I can tolerate. The rest of them suck!

  • Mayra

    I can’t stand and love ray j at once. I feel bad for Brandy and :iigh five: for adding some gangstarr in there

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      RayJ is all things to all people. He is good. And good is he.

      Wordemup.

      We all must face our moment of truth.

  • sanen85

    You’ve convinced me to at least watch it once. If it turns out to be a waste of my time, I blame you.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      you will love it. how can you not? its got everything you need in a reality series.

      ray j. bad singing. random friends. something named a shorty mack.

      its all there.

  • http://zdubb.com Zdubb

    I don’t think I’m interested enough to watch it … yet.
    I’m glad I’m not the only one that got Raydiation! Don’t forget “Melody” – that’s my song.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      i actually think its a pretty solid album. all the slow songs are good.

      “anytime” is my joint. i’ve played that song for folks without telling them it was RayJ and it was very well received. i say, guess what, you like a RayJ song and i swear i saw somebody jump off a building.

      • thatchic

        Now see “one wish” was my jam and when i told my girlfriend she was sleeping on ray j; she thought that was the funniest thing i eva said!

        “one wish” went hard! all out in the rain with wahta gleesinin all ova his body (in my martin lawrence voice)

        if i had one wish ray j…just one!

      • Hawaii

        i say, guess what, you like a RayJ song and i swear i saw somebody jump off a building.”

        LMAO! You silly!

  • miss t-lee

    I watched the preview that was making the internet rounds a few weeks ago. *Yawn* Now if they wanted me to watch they shoulda included the “alleged” half-brother that the Daddy doesn’t acknowledge. Now that’s a show I would watch. *Brandy’s lacefronts are hideous.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      real talk. I went to high school with C-Dove. or Daniel as we all knew him. He used to tell us about his sister being Brandy. Of course, nobody believed him until all the rumors started flying and RayJ came to my city for a concert and publicly called dude to come out on radio. That was before Big Daddy Norwood shut that sh*t down and was like, you’ll have nothing to do with them.

      I’m pretty sure C-Dove boned my girlfriend too.

    • http://www.pinchmycheekie.blogspot.com Cheekie

      “Now if they wanted me to watch they shoulda included the “alleged” half-brother that the Daddy doesn’t acknowledge. Now that’s a show I would watch.”

      Yeah, that would make that m-effin’ show go to primetime, that ish would be so juicy.

  • Hawaii

    “And I’m caught up like Usher in 2003. Usher in 2010, however, needs to just let it burn.”

    That was rather dope… and hella funny!

    2) Brandy rapping

    *sigh*

    ” For record, I like Ray J. He entertains me.”

    Right?! I been tryin to tell ppl!
    Everyone needs to laugh everyday and on Sunday nites? Ray J has me rollin’….

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      that’s what i’m saying. Ray is fun. people, get with it.

  • http://perfectpointguard.blogspot.com/ J. Delicious

    it is my opinion that “you need more people.” Even after 6 reasons, I can’t do it. I left Brandy when she left Moeisha.

    • http://www.pinchmycheekie.blogspot.com Cheekie

      I just watched a marathon of that show on BET and had an epiphany when I realized she did a TERRIBLE acting job on that show. I never noticed it when I was a pre-teen. Probably because I loved the show and its little fake teen angst drama.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        @Cheekie, stop retrohating. she did a decent job with the material she had to work with.

      • http://www.pinchmycheekie.blogspot.com Cheekie

        @Panama,

        lol @ “retrohating”. Loves it.

        Yeah, I need to stop. But, it’s just one of those things you notice when you get older and you’re like, “how did I not notice this? How did it not bother me”. Those were the days.

        Yeah, I know the material was wack, but…still, she couldn’t act to save her hairline.

      • ThatOneAKA

        I got one better…I remember her horrible acting on the sitcom “Thea”. She actually improved on “Moesha”….

      • http://happinessisme.tumblr.com Sharay

        I know this is such an old post but I just had to say… I thought no one else noticed? Brandy was/is not the best actress there ever was. I actually remember this special mtv had, I can’t remember the show but they would basically talk about an artist musical beginnings. Well Kim Coles from Living Single was brought in right before Moesha aired to help Brandy with her acting. I thought thay was so peculular.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      I was gonna give you 10 but i got carried away with my enthusiasm.

  • Leila

    I like the show and don’t know why. Ray-J is corny and tries too much to look hard, but he makes the show. Brandy needs to stay away from rapping. That was painful…

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @Leila, you like it because it is good. You can say it. G’head.

      • Leila

        Lol!

  • Kirk Lazarus

    You think James Brown got clean when he went to heaven?

    I hope so! Cuz I don’t think he gone stay there runnin round talkin bout “I don’t know Ka-Rate, but I know Craazy!”

    Yea but I think its one of the shows that can grow on me. I mean the possibility of seeing Brandy’s comeback??? Yea I don’t think so either, but at least you got Ray J and his antics on a show by show basis!
    I know the one thing I do hate is to listen to they daddy talk. He sound like the simple jack version of fog horn leg horn mixed with yosimite sam!

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @Kirk Lazarus, it will grow on you. There’s so much potential.

      Plus there’s the lingering question…how in the f*ck can we have a whole show about Brandy and never once see her kid?

      • Gem of the Ocean

        great question. its like the child doesnt exist, and the “when-brandy-was-preggers-and-had-that-sham-of-a-marriage” show never happened.

      • thatchic

        because that’s rodney jerkin’s baby….that aint big rob’s baby…that baby looks just like rodney!

  • Tenchi

    And speaking of Daddy Norwood…
    Does he seem like a tenuous (useless) extra in his own family/show to anyone besides me?!!!
    Something tells me that his pink panties are in the dryer for most of the show and the only time we actually hear from him, is on the way from the liquor cabinent (which explains his speech) to the guest room (since Mama has enough Wood on her own!)/

    Oh yeah, and isn’t Brandi almost 40?!!! Why is she still asking permission/approval from these people?
    *Answers own question in 4, 3, 2,1…*
    Because she thinks “Brand New” is a good idea…

    • http://alovelydai.blogspot.com Alovelydai

      @Tenchi
      In total agreement…does Daddy Norwood even have a name?

      • http://earsandlps.blogspot.com/ LaBakir

        Willie Ray Sr.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

      @Tenchi, Brandy is 30 or about to be 31. lol. when i was 15, she was 15. we practically grew up together as best friends. Her and my friend Hakeem and Kim and Niecy. we were best buds.