i began calling myself as “the champ” in jan of 2006, a week or so after the pittsburgh steelers won the superbowl. inspired by a simmons article stating that (paraphrasing) “members of championship sports teams reserve the right to have everyone refer to them as “the champ” for the next calender year“, i took the joke a bit further, saying that anyone within a 25 mile radius of pittsburgh could call themselves the champ, starting with me. although this was a tongue-in-cheek proclamation, the nickname stayed and history was made.
i tell this story to give an idea of how deep my steeler standom runs. to merely call myself a die-hard fan would be like saying that lil kim has had a little work done. so, you can imagine the emotional roller coaster this sordid ben roethlisberger saga has put me through. while big ben has always had the reputation around the burgh for being a bit of an *sshole, the fathomless depths of his douchebaggery (which you can read in-depth here) have made it difficult (but not impossible) to throw my full support behind a team that’s giving him 100 million dollars.
this wouldn’t be the first time i put principles above fan support. i haven’t purchased, downloaded, or even listed to a r. kelly album in almost ten years, but its easy to be holier-than-thou and sanctimonious when you could really give two sh*ts about the subject, and banning the r-uh from my ipod aint in the same solar system as not rooting for the steelers on sunday. i guess we’ll see in september how “principled” i really am.
anyway, learning how to stay true to your principles (regardless of the consequences) is easily one of the 6 most difficult skills every man must eventually master. here’s 5 others.
2. properly breaking up with a woman
most men (myself included) are complete nincompoops when it comes to ending a romantic relationships. while we’ve invented myriad ways to completely f*ck this process up, our course of action usually falls under one of the following categories:
a) “stealth bomber” (what happens when we give absolutely no inkling that we’re unhappy…until we actually tell her “yo, i’m unhappy. this sh*t aint gonna work” and bounce)
b) “the david blaine” (when we disappear off the face of the earth. to hear a woman’s side of this phenomenon, check out sister t’s clutchmag article “without a trace“)
c) “the sabotage” (when we intentionally do f*cked up sh*t just so they’ll break up with us)
while this level of break-up incompetence is inexcusable, i don’t think women understand how difficult it is for a man to reject a woman, and why this causes us to act out it such a way (although, i will say that women’s relative inexperience with being rejected plays a huge role in this as well. part of the reason we act out is because we know you won’t know how to respond to the rejection, but that’s a topic for another day). to analogize, it’s like what would happen if you tried to domestic a tiger. it’s so used to being the hunter that it can’t fully grasp living any other way, and eventually it’s just going to say “f*ck it” and bite your face off.
this makes perfect sense if you read it backwards.
3. peeing while fully erect without splashing it all over the walls
***something that cannot be physically done unless we first create and figure a complex mental algorithm containing some combination of our level of erectness, the size and circumference of the toilet seat, the size of the bathroom, the color of the tiles, our penis size, the distance of the toilet seat from our standing position, and our foot size (just in case we have to get on our toes)***
4. knowing when to pull a friend aside to tell him he’s f*cking up
one of the most bothersome tidbits with the roethlisberger story is the fact that he was able to be an ass for so long without any of his “friends” calling him on it and setting him straight. i mean, its on the list, so i realize how difficult it can be to tell your boy that you’re going to dead the relationship if he doesn’t shape up, but i still don’t understand why at least one of his boys haven’t literally whooped his ass into “you’re embarrassing the crew, and you’re treating women so badly that you’re c*ck-blocking us by osmosis. stop being a d*ck” submission.
5. learning how to say “no” to mom
between this and number 2, i think most of just have an issue saying no to women in general. i’m actually surprised you all haven’t really taken advantage of this (and no, getting sprint bills paid doesn’t qualify as “really taking advantage“).
6. figuring the right haircut for you
as donovan mcnabb has proven…
…it occasionally takes us a while to realize which do is the right do
verysmartbrothas, any additions? also, ladies, can you think any hard to master skills that every woman should probably possess? don’t be scurred. we’re all family and sh*t.
[***Admin Note: On June 3rd in New York City, The Champ will be on a panel with a few other "relationship experts" to talk about relationships, love, sex, and all that other good stuff, and he'd greatly appreciate your support. Go to moderndaymatchmaker.eventbrite.com for more details. Also, if you're planning on attending, please buy your tickets with the promotional code "VSB" to receive a discount. Thanks!***]
—the champ
I think the event code you meant to post was “SISTERTOLDJA”, but I am excited to be meeting you nonetheless. I will have Dipset on deck to give you a proper New York welcome, dun.
Dare I add to this illustrious list…a no fail way to get a lady to have a…release. We realize that you can’t/we cant all achieve this everytime via intercourse, but a gentleman caller worth his salt should be able to manually or orally handle this in a short amount of time so that we too may roll over and fall asleep.
Every woman is different. We don’t know what YOU need. You should be able to communicate(verbally or physically) to us what you need to get off.
Do all men prefer the same type of head? I like to stir your dinner, lol
nope all men do not like the same head but most of us fall in the middle 90% of the normal curve…… few rules to follow: 1) messier the better; 2) act as if its ur favorite thing to do outside of eating, breathing, and going to church; 3) if you do not like doing it… dont do it 4) get over whatever is making u not want to do it
LMAO @ #4!
My “curve” is a little different
1.wet but not dripping
2. Major enthusiasm. When I’m giving she has to make me stop. She should do the same
3.Must attempt to deepthroat. If your tear ducts aren’t leaking, you ain’t trying!!
4. Finish me off. Keep sucking after I cum until i can’t take it
its2010dammit…I HATE YOU!! I need to go to work but your #3 and #4 have me laughing so hard I may not make it. If my clients are alone in court today I blame you!!
damn my side hurts…….but 3 and 4 will be added to my list cuz they sho nuff is the truth
I approve this message.
“1) messier the better; 2) act as if its ur favorite thing to do outside of eating, breathing, and going to church; 3) if you do not like doing it… dont do it 4) get over whatever is making u not want to do it”
LOL.
if you could put out a PSA letting the fellas know that their water intake matters HUGELY!!! there’s NOTHING worse than seeing that junk come (pause) out lookin like oatmeal.. i’m NOT havin it!! besides, it slides down easier when it’s thinner..
me: “WHY won’t you learn this!?!?”
i mean, i heard this was the case.. not like i KNOW or anything.. lol…
and that’s the Law!
lmfao at the whole comment
Leaking tear ducts?! WOW! Wildness!
“Dare I add to this illustrious list…a no fail way to get a lady to have a…release.”
i thought about adding this, until i remembered the article i read saying that something like 30 percent of 25-34 year old women have never “released” before, so listing it as a must have skill would be selling some cats an impossible dream. the world’s best mechanic still aint going to make a model t ford go from 0 to 60 in four seconds
and, i’ll be looking forward to the dipset welcome. (and by “be looking forward to the dipset welcome” i mean “shoot jim jones on sight if i see him”)
Women, sexually are diff from men, in the regard that the act can be satisfying and most enjoyable without orgasm, whereas with a man the act can be wack but he will come anyway, more times than naught LOL Altho I am sure some will beg to differ LOL
“whereas with a man the act can be wack but he will come anyway
Condoms are GREAT. I have actually faked orgasms. As a man, Im ashamed(not)
I’ve heard of guys doing this before too, for a number of reasons, but clearly its the exception and not the rule LOL
This should never happen…EVER! I’m 100% against allowing non-orgasm givers to continue through life disappointing other ninjas. lol
That percentage represents women who’ve never had a vag.inal release. A cl.ito.ral release, however, most of us were getting on the seesaw back in pre-k. If a man cant make you have one of those, send him back to high school.
you know i love you like a cyber sis, but isn’t that on us? just like theirs is on them? , take matters into your own hands, all kinds of pun intended LOL, his assistance and participation are most welcome tho, as you get older you’ll see
You ruined the seesaw for me.
“You ruined the seesaw for me.”
me too
My daughter is now forbidden to use the seesaw.
@ errrbody: Women can fake an orgasm Men can fake an entire relationship.
Every woman (and man) should know how to cook more than spaghetti… no, that is not your signature dish, I’ve been making it since I was 5 years old. A man or woman cannot live on bread and/or spaghetti alone. Step your game up.
I agree with this wholeheartedly.
Unless, you’re fresh out of school, one should have at least 2-5 dishes under their belt that require more than hot water and stirring in a packet of sauce…and at least *one* dog-eared recipe book that you’ve tried stuff from or written stuff in.
Ramen a la mode is kind of unacceptable past the age of 25ish for company…no matter how good it tastes with chili garlic sauce and cilantro.
“Ramen a la mode is kind of unacceptable past the age of 25ish for company…no matter how good it tastes with chili garlic sauce and cilantro.”
Ya know, I would even go further and say after college period. I ate so much Ramen in college, I didn’t touch it for years post college. One weird day I had a taste for it, but I just cannot stomach that ish no mo’.
um……don’t hate. my ragu skills bring all the boys to the yard. #sarcasm
“Every woman (and man) should know how to cook more than spaghetti”
BLASPHEMY!!!!
Spaghetti is the food of gods. Why would you want to eat anything else?
Because a salt and black pepper seasoned Ribeye steak cooked medium to medium well is a hell of a lot better.
And that’s all a steak needs.
I think women need to know how to check their friends’ bad behavior. My bff is involved in a love hexagon that is getting out of control and I’m at the point where I’m about to limit our interactions if she doesn’t change some sh**.
I’m still however trying to figure out how to tell my overweight friends that not everything is meant for every body. Can’t they see their FUPA just like I can?
LMAO @ “love hexagon”
I’m LMAO too…that’s a damn orgie. lol
“I’m still however trying to figure out how to tell my overweight friends that not everything is meant for every body”
Lol! This is a tough one. There’s no easy way to say this.
Go out and take a bunch of pictures and then show them to her…things look a lil’ different on film (pause)
@Leila
Shhhhhi! no it’s not! go shopping with her and suggest clothes that flatter her body…and tell her exactly that…this shirt, dress, skirt…will look really good on you b/c it accents *insert nice body part here*
I don’t know about other women, but I have the same problem with number 2.
I had this discussion the other day. There is no easy way to break up with a guy, especially a good guy. It’s hard.
I have found the easiest way to do that. I tell the truth(its always the same reason).
“After serious contemplation, we’re not that compatible and instead of wasting your time, I’m gonna move on”
I know it sounds like the stealth bomber but its not. This is after several conversations and maybe months of trying. She would already know that I’m not happy.
If they still try to hang on, then do the David Blaine
Agreed. There’s no easy way to break up with someone but there is the right way and that’s only one way, being honest. Both parties are adults, there’s no reason to lie or dip out without an explanation.
I think leaving without an explanation is a complete lack of respect for the person and whatever you shared with them especially if he/she is a good woman or man. Just keep it real and let the person know why, if they can’t handle the truth then all the more reason to break it off.
I never understand why a dude can’t just tell the truth like a lie is so much better because the “breakee” will know that he\she is lying.
“Just keep it real and let the person know why, if they can’t handle the truth then all the more reason to break it off.”
see, i disagree. i dont know if the why matters. plus, if the why is something the other person can’t control, i don’t know if the why won’t be more hurtful than a lie
I agree. It makes it worse to tell the person why and a lot of times, they’ll say that they’ll change. It’s better just to end it and move on.
“if the why is something the other person can’t control, i don’t know if the why won’t be more hurtful than a lie”
I usually omit those parts when having those discussions. I just focus on the things they could change.
If the person can’t handle the truth then he/she is not a very strong and mature individual. If a person has any pride they’ll step off when someone tells them that they don’t want to be with them. Getting dumped hurts either way so why not just say the truth. The truth hurts, getting dumped hurts might as well know why. Plus I think if this is an abrupt breakup all the more to explain to someone you’ve been shackin’ up with why you can’t deal with them.
I guess i personally would prefer a dude tell me I don’t want to be with you cause you tying me down and I want to date other people rather than say “I just need to be alone” and then come to find out he’s dating 10 other chicks.
true, would a person rather hear “i’m breaking up with you because your dick is too small” which is the truth or “i’m breaking up with you because i need to be alone for a while” which is a lie?
I’ve found that “This ain’t working out” works best. They ask why, you tell them…and then you both can pretend to be friends for a few weeks afterwards.
lol. That sounds about right!
Oh Donovan and his unfortunate hair situation…LMAO. Hard to grasp concept? 1) How to put together a full meal with a limited pantry.2) When to walk away.
“When to walk away.”
yeah. this can be applicable to relationships, fights, house fires, chinese buffets, work, mirrors…basically everything
LMAO @ chinese buffets!!
“when to walk away…”
Especially when it comes to relationships. Women are especially guilty of this. We will hold on until there is literally nothing left and will still be mad when he bounces. (which is a variation of number 2)
We will hold on until there is literally nothing left and will still be mad when he bounces.
Siohvaughn Wade?
@naturallyalise1 — LMAO @ “love hexagon”
I wish I was exaggerating. Everybody is cheating and everybody is mad that they’re being cheated on.
And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
that sounds like a nasty-ass iceburg
that sounds like an iceberg that needs to be tested..
i’m.just.being.honest..
Definitely how to check your friends is on the list. I think its hard for most people to
Tell someone they are being an *ss or b*tch unless they are angry. It goes against
How most of us have been raised. If you can’t say anything nice…
I would also. Women need to learn to say no to “pity p*ssy”
You know when your tired and not feeling it at all but you don’t want to say no
cause you don’t want to hurt his feelings, or its been a couple days or your cycle is about to start.
S*ex shouldn’t be rationed out but comeon! You don’t owe a mofo even your mate s *x
It is something that should be shared between the two with passion and pleasure
On Both sides. It shouldn’t be a chore for anyone. If you find. That you are never in the mood
Then you should analyze what is going on with that. As that could be indicative of some other shyt going on…
look at shay-d-lady spitting real wisdom and sh*t. you’re like a little hood buddha
Dead @ Hood buddha… but it’s so true though. Lol
Just shy of everybody, has cheated or been cheated on sexually. And the probabilities only rise with emotional cheating, age, experience etc. Everybody should get tested regularly for aids. “Everybody says that nothing last forever so what makes love exception.” 3000
umm..are you saying everyone has cheated and been cheated on?
i cannot co-sign.
but i EXTRA co-sign on getting tested for EVERYTHING before EACH NEW sexual partner.
Man, we all know that women are in the mood far less than men.
So, I’m going to need my wife to take one for the team particularly if my frequency is at least once every two days, and she’s just fine with once a week.
I am too old, and I’ve been married for too long to still be seeing Palmela on the side. I ain’t having it.
I can make it as long or as short as you need it to be, but I’m going to need it now.
FESS UP TO YA CRAPPAGE!!!! lol it’s okay. we won’t think less of you.
you sure you put this in the right place?
lol – yup! It takes a certain skill to cop to the fact that you *did* leave the milk out… hehehe
smh. number 2 is so real. but honestly i find this hard to do myself. especially trying to find a healthy balance between being honest about my feelings for the said gentleman and not burning bridges, its a hard conversation to have for both sexes. (……fyi, i died laughing @ “the David Blaine”….smh, coldblooded)
number 4 reminds me of “The Conversation” by Hill Harper. He talked a lot about guys taking accountability for correcting the actions of their friends….ie, not being an enabler for infidelity, abuse, slacking….etc. (pretty good read, btw), i find it that a lot of guys take advice/correction better from a peer.
and….there is absolutely nothing like a vsb with a fresh cut…definitely a major turn on…unless of course, he has locks, with a fresh line up and tightly twisted roots…ijustwannalayinhishair!
“there is absolutely nothing like a vsb with a fresh cut…definitely a major turn on…unless of course, he has locks, with a fresh line up and tightly twisted roots…ijustwannalayinhishair!”
***filed under “more proof that women care just as much about our hair as we do about theirs”***
I’m sorry but any time Hill Harper and something he writes comes up I want to start a round of slow, sarcastic clapping.
I agree about number two. there are some men who simply won’t allow themselves to be broken up with, so you HAVE to pull a blaine on them. You have the exit talk and they’re all, “well anyway. I’ll see you at my momma’s house for easter dinner.” this is how stalkers are born.
and….there is absolutely nothing like a vsb with a fresh cut…definitely a major turn on…unless of course, he has locks, with a fresh line up and tightly twisted roots…ijustwannalayinhishair!
tis true, a fresh line up will make a 3 dude look like a 5
Loved Sister T’s article on cluthmagonline btw…
Every grown woman and man should know their limit when it comes to alcohol. I hate going out with a new group of people and there’s someone who doesn’t know their limit and is acting a fool. Dude, I don’t know you so I’m not carrying you or fighting on your behalf.
Every grown woman should know how to cook at least one good breakfast lunch and dinner meal and give good “jug”.
Every grown man should know how to change a tire and a car’s oil.
“give a good jug”
Ooooh this could mean so many things…but I approve all of them!
“Dude, I don’t know you so I’m not carrying you or fighting on your behalf”
this is exactly what i tell my girl sometimes. then, i quickly follow that message with a smiley face
So I take it that you mean besides taking your car to Speedee Oil Change?
My brotha, My brotha…..THIS!
I can’t even add anything to your list. It’s the real deal.
I think every grown azz woman should know how to cook or at least try and learn. No exceptions.
I think every woman should learn how to shovel their own driveway. I know its not something you may want to do…but, you may end up doing it. I had to do it three times this winter. Some neighbors helped out but you may have to get out there and get it started….You dont have to master it..but, you get my drift.
I think women in general need to learn how to take their girlfriends relationship advice with a grain of salt..take the useful information and use your own judgement..discard the rest.
I may have more to say on this later…but, those Donovan McNabb pics had me rollin….lol.
“I think women in general need to learn how to take their girlfriends relationship advice with a grain of salt…”
preach
especially when they dont have/cant keep a man themselves
“I think women in general need to learn how to take their girlfriends relationship advice with a grain of salt..take the useful information and use your own judgement..discard the rest.”
hello! in high school and college, i had a friend who i looked up to in terms of relationship advice and standards. but then one day around the age of 23 when i saw how she was giving my “good man” of a boyfriend the side eye while, at the same time, being physically ejected from a scrub’s apt after buying him all the latest fashions i realized that i might just need to think for my damn self and leave her advice alone.
“I think every grown azz woman should know how to cook or at least try and learn. No exceptions.”
Thank you! I agree. And the thing is, I can cook myself, but I want my SO to be able to also. I don’t want to have to do it all the time!! At least put forth a good faith effort. My most recent SO wouldn’t even touch a piece of raw chicken. And when she’d do anything else, she was all dainty and slow with it. I’m not gonna come home and demand that you have dinner ready. That’s just not me. But it’d be nice to have some help once in a while, instead of giving some half effort and then just giving up. Ugh.
“I think every woman should learn how to shovel their own driveway”
is this a skill that needs to be ‘learned’ or just something that you need to do?
@Queen T
“I think every grown azz woman should know how to cook or at least try and learn. No exceptions.”
I will do all of the cooking for the rest of my life if I can forfeit having to clean up the kitchen again.
I am right there with you my brother. I cook daily but washing dishes and cleaning everything in the kitchen is so aggravating. That would be the ideal compromise.
Skills:
*Listening to your woman talk up a storm while continuing to play on your blackberry (insert any phone or computer) and its various applicatons while still responding cohesively and maintaining conversation and not just blanket answers. She may get upset if it seems like you’re not listening but when you spit back the stuff she’s been talkin’ bout verbatim, she can’t say you wasn’t listening.
*The Ability to Scope Ass. Of course, this should never be done disrespectfully but lookin’ at and having appreciation for beauty or booty without being too overt is definitely a skill.
*The Element Of Surprise. Everyman should master this. TRUST! Learn how to surprise your woman and she’ll stay happy and it’ll keep shyt fresh. It can be something as small as a bouquet of flowers picked from the park and put in a vase or wrapping paper (depending on how much you wanna spend), or surprising her with *insert whatever one’s girl in into*. As long as dates match up, Surprises are a Go!
*The Ability to Scope Ass. Of course, this should never be done disrespectfully but lookin’ at and having appreciation for beauty or booty without being too overt is definitely a skill.
This is definitely list worthy! If you are over 18 and you can’t scope on a** without it being a noticed, you should not leave your house. I have a hard time trusting a guy who can’t objectify women with the stealth of a ninja.
Yep. Best believe that your girl sees “potential ass-viewing-targets” before your radar even registers, so don’t do it because after she sees it, she’s going to look at you and for a lot of dudes, that’s when they are caught looking…lol!
Monk, like Elzhi and phonte you are an MC’s Mc, a bother’s brother, a man indeed
Scoping of the a**, i’m trying hard man and i’ve made some commendable strides but i can admit i’m not there yet….i mean some botties are sooooo extaterastial, so paralysing, so desrving of an encore…i digress, but i acknowledg that self-discipline is necessary, but MONK have you seen that junk that looks like an apple tied to a pencil!
Suprise, nothing beats the expression she gets on her face after the unvailing, like “Wow, i totally wasn’t expecting anything” or “wow, this is something new that i actually never thought i’d enjoy”
Listening…yep!…but i get tired of hearing how much of a selfish, conceited,pretentious, reformed hoe-ass blah blah blah blah blah blah….your girlfriend is everyday of the week
“She may get upset if it seems like you’re not listening but when you spit back the stuff she’s been talkin’ bout verbatim, she can’t say you wasn’t listening.”
lol, i do this at least three times a week. in fact, instead of repeating what she said, sometimes i’ll just literally spell the sh*t out
Yay Champ cant wait to see you in NYC!! Its like life imitating art.. or something like that LOL..
****Re: ben rothlisberger – you know i’m really torn on this as well. Non pittsburghers can’t really fathom how deep steeler pride runs. That sh*ts in our blood! I really wanted to believe that this was a bunch of BS but where there’s smoke there’s usually fire. So even if there has been some misinformation diseminated, he hasn’t exactly been a pillar of virtue either. And being the QB, ur supposed to be the leader of the time, so I understand the quaqmire…..**
Anyhoo, as a woman, i think one of the greatest skills you can master is knowing how to turn a guy down whos interested in you without coming off stuck up or like a b*tch or in some cases, burning bridges permanently. I mean, if its du’quanelle from up the block trying to holla, that’s one thing. But what if said person is your boss (or some other influential person) or someone you share mutual friends with – kinda puts you in a tough spot, especially if they are overly persistent and/or creative in trying to get your attention.
Guys dont seem to get this. They say, “Yo just tell that n*gga to bounce” its like ummmmm not quite that simple….
****Re: ben rothlisberger – … he hasn’t exactly been a pillar of virtue either. And being the QB, ur supposed to be the leader of the time, so I understand the quaqmire…..**
ahem… Who Dat?!?!
Yay Champ cant wait to see you in NYC!! Its like life imitating art.. or something like that LOL..
Riiight?! It’s gonna be like seeing the man behind the screen,lol
@LaBakir
yoooo i think i might be in NY that week!!
if so, we have to link up at this event. yay!
am i the ONLY one that’s not going?!?! i’m a tad bit HOT about that!!
@Muze
No doubt! My girl is coming up from FL too that week, so we are in there!!!!
i live in FL.. i’m so jealous.. wrong time to lose my job.. AND the b*tch aint’ cut my last check!!!
*it’s gonna take a miracle..* (i’m singing the song..)
“I really wanted to believe that this was a bunch of BS but where there’s smoke there’s usually fire.”
ive heard numerous times over the past few years that he’s a d*ck, but winning superbowls has a way of making you gloss over certain things, lol. some things just can’t be glossed over though.
and yeah, the nyc event should be fun. i’ll probably be drunk by the time i have the chance to meet any of you, though, so don’t hold it against me
thank you for not buying anything by r kelly. thank you so much.
I’m not an R. Kelly fan, but wasn’t he acquitted? Are we to still boycott his stuff in spite of the acquittal?
@ caballeroso. Acquittal does not equal innocence.
I understand that and agree with you, but it still sounds like double jeopardy. I wasn’t there (nor have I seen the tape) so I’m relying on the criminal justice system to work. Even if he is not innocent, with a lack of personally received evidence to the contrary, I’m going to have to give the benefit of the doubt and assume he’s not guilty.
“Are we to still boycott his stuff in spite of the acquittal?”
i saw the tape, so the acquittal means nothing to me
@The Champ
“i saw the tape, so the acquittal means nothing to me”
I still can’t get the picture of him tossing ol girls salad out my head. He was so deep in her @ss that you couldn’t see anything but his ears and the back of his head. In matter of fact is ears were right at her cheek. He would have put his whole head in there if he could.
@Humble_One
*reincarnated*
@Humble_One
“I still can’t get the picture of him tossing ol girls salad out my head. He was so deep in her @ss that you couldn’t see anything but his ears and the back of his head. In matter of fact is ears were right at her cheek. ”
I was hoping no one was going to bring that up when I started reading this thread. Ugghh
Like Yayer said, thanks for joining the movement…
I actually change radio stations when I hear one of his song… even if it’s just a featuring…
He is a sicko.
@Sula
Ditto to changing radio stations! Nasty bastard!
#2 is hard for everyone and #4 is very true. I have seen good dudes get caught up behind poor behavior of their boys.
“I have seen good dudes get caught up behind poor behavior of their boys”
yeah. brothas have to be especially careful with this, because chillin with the wrong dude can get you killed.
example: http://postgazette.com/pg/10131/1057152-53.stm
“I have seen good dudes get caught up behind poor behavior of their boys”
yeah. brothas have to be especially careful with this, because chillin with the wrong dude can get you killed.
example: http://postgazette.com/pg/10131/1057152-53.stm
Women, we all need to know how to properly dress ourselves and dress our own age. it stresses me out and pisses me off when i see a woman, young or old(er) with a clingy dress/shirt on with visible bra/panty lines and their stomach lumps making a debut. like my mother says, BUY SOME SPANX. and if i see another capable, adult woman out in the open with anything resembling baby phat, coogi, rocawear, “sexy” “babygirl” … then I’m just going back to Africa.
I don’t see what’s so hard about that.
Sharde– I co-sign 100%!! Everyone woman needs to know a few fashion basics:
1) A great outfit starts with a great foundation. Find out your CORRECT bra size and don’t be afraid of Spanx, control top panty hose, corsets, whatever it takes to keep it sexy.
2) Proper fit is KEY!
3) Generally speaking you shouldn’t be shopping in your mom OR your baby sister’s closet.
4) Every style ain’t for every body. Ex: I’m a 40G so I can’t wear some of the sexy (but flimsy) tops that some of my girls can get away with. It’s an issue of decency…and public safety
I actually don’t mind seeing all of the bad choices in clothing many women make. I like honesty and they are being honest.(It also adds humor to the daily grind)
On the other hand, you spanx wearing folk should be arrested for fraud!!
“On the other hand, you spanx wearing folk should be arrested for fraud!!”
Spanx can only do so much. It ‘s just smooths everything out and holds in that little bit of extra pudge you can’t get rid off. But trust there’s not that much of a difference. What you see is what you get, generally speaking. . .lol.
“I’m a 40G so I can’t wear some of the sexy (but flimsy) tops that some of my girls can get away with. It’s an issue of decency…and public safety”
oh my.
“4) Every style ain’t for every body. Ex: I’m a 40G so I can’t wear some of the sexy (but flimsy) tops that some of my girls can get away with. It’s an issue of decency…and public safety”
VSBs’ request for proof (i.e. pics) in T-minus 3, 2, 1 …
Cheekie- They are SO not ready! I’ll just have to make sure to attend the next VSB event in DC and where a v-neck
LOL! Girl, I’m scared of you!
Every man should:
- be able to walk into a room and assess any possible threats. Now I aint talking no black ops. type sh*t, but you should be able notice the 6’9 325lbs dude in the back just in case a donnybrook happens to take place.
- know where the exits are
- cursing, unless you have a position in the church you should know how to speak your mind a vulgar manner, if the time calls for it. you don’t want to be the guy gettin laughed at when your being serious because you still using funky butt loving
Every man should:
- be able to walk into a room and assess any possible threats. Now I aint talking no black ops. type sh*t, but you should be able notice the 6?9 325lbs dude in the back just in case a donnybrook happens to take place.
- know where the exits are
great point. after a certain age, protecting yourself (and the people around you) becomes more about scoping and avoiding certain situations than actually having to something physical
- know where the exits are
Yeah, buddy. That is definitely need to know information. To add to that, based on where I grew up, if you are somewhere where you know a fight is going to break out, know where the nearest chair is.
I would like to add backing your car into your parking spot at the club. After you find the exits this is your next move. Turning around takes way too much time at a hole in the wall.
If *I* can back my car in as a female, a dude should be able to as well, and not question me why i do it. Do you REALLY not understand how much easier it is to just pull out and go? You have to back up either way, so why not chose the least dangerous way.
Need to work on my parallel parking game, though.
skills every woman should have:
–the ability to realize when he is not your man and/or not that into you-oftentimes, there are situations where a man will give a woman “just enough” to keep her around for whatever he wants her around for, but he’s not adding anything to her life on a spiritual, emotional, or–ahem–financial level and he doesn’t consider her to be his wife, girlfriend, woman, priority, special friend or anything. she, however, thinks that he is her “man.” now, granted, some of these situations are less obvious than others. maybe in some cases, the man is tricky polite and affectionate or takes her out every once in a while so the woman gets thrown off. but at some point, your spidey senses need to kick in and let you know that you’re just being given the run around. and all your friends probably knew before you. and you look stupid. and he doesn’t care about you. so move on (or accept it and play your position. but at least make like you KNOW what’s being done to you), because all your friends feel awkward about your life. and it’s devastating, betch. it really is.
–the ability to forgive and move the hell on–um….it’s just not a good look to be cursing out the memory of someone you dated 5 years ago for 6 months while he has moved on and is living well, barely remembering who you are when you send him a friend request on the facebook tryin to be messy. i mean, this applies to all areas of one’s life and to any type of relationship, but that was the best example i could think of. if someone does you wrong, it’s okay to make a mental note of it so as not to allow yourself to be placed in a similar position, but harping on it for the rest of your life is just going to depress your friends and loved ones, give you worry lines, and make you look like a miserable shrew.
–compliment acceptance–as a grown, adult woman, you should not be breaking down emotionally and turning 4 shades of red when a man tells you you are pretty/beautiful or any variation. you also don’t need to argue him down to tell him why you are not. just accept the compliment like you’re used to being somebody and go on with your day.
also, because this bothers me, when a man you feel isn’t worthy of you dares to say “hi” when you are crossing paths, just smile and say hi without breaking stride. if you frown up and give him the side eye when all he was doing is greeting you respectfully, you’re the one who is going to look like an a*shole. and those aren’t pretty.
This should be copy pasted on billboards everywhere!
“just accept the compliment like you’re used to being somebody and go on with your day.”
lmbo. girl preach.
i learned this when i was about 17. i used to downplay myself when i received a compliment. one day my grammy was like “chile just say thank you! don’t insult the person by telling them they’re wrong. learn how to accept a compliment!” lol. twas like a light bulb went off. that’s why i cringe when i see grown women who don’t know how to take a compliment.
i read a quote that said that people who don’t give or know how to accept compliments suffer from self-esteem issues..
i’ll give a compliment all day.. but when i get one- ummm.. i don’t know how to take that.. especially considering it usually involves my a**.. and stop lookin back there!!!
@ charli skipper AMEN to all three. Forgiving is key because holding on to done BS only hurts you. My pastor expressed this wondefully but it’s not coming to me now. Oh well
I hate to admit I still have a mental problem with compliments. I’ve learned to say thank you or say something flirty back, but in my mind I’m like yeah right. And since my face gives away what I’m thinking I’m occasionally caught by an observant guy.
“you’re the one who is going to look like an a*shole. and those aren’t pretty”
surprisingly, some of them actually are
STEVE HARVEY MOVE OUT THE WAY!
Now this is The guide that every women shall have…
*round of applause*…I shall download and save this into my memory bank.
Turn this into an email and forward to everyone you know
“just accept the compliment like you’re used to being somebody and go on with your day.”
Hells yes. I like that…”like you’re used to being somebody”. A compliment is nice, no matter where it’s coming from. A respectful one that is. If that old creepy guy crosses the line, side-eye him physically, i.e. backhand him.
Game, set and match.
@charli skipper, EXCELLENT POST!
Women can fake an orgasm and men can fake an entire relationship. (No erection)
I had decided to be a lurker, but I had to say one thing on this one.
Every woman, EVERY SINGLE WOMAN, MUST KNOW how to efficiently and properly clean a room, bathroom, kitchen, etc I have met some FILTHY women, and it makes my soul glooow!!! When I see said woman not know how to properly wash a dish or how to truly vacuum or disinfect, it makes me not be able to eat off this woman’s plates or silverware. I have a tingle, a bad tingle :-/
Men should do this too but for some reason, I expect more from women. Double standard? Yeah, probably.
Back to lurkdom
Yaay for VSB!!!!!
De-lurk Anastasia! Don’t go back….lol.
come back and sh*t. (or sh*t, and come back. do it in whichever order suits you)
“Every woman, EVERY SINGLE WOMAN, MUST KNOW how to efficiently and properly clean a room, bathroom, kitchen, etc I have met some FILTHY women, and it makes my soul glooow!!!”
Yup, this was gonna be my addition, but I knew some VSS had already added it by now.
My cousin’s best friend is like this. FILTHY. In fact, she is renting this very nice condo and I just know she’s gonna eff it up because her last crib was like that. I mean, what’s the point of getting something so nice just to eff it up…makes it no-so-nice, doesn’t it? UGH…
I have a (slight) case of OCD and often get teased by my friends about how clean my apartment and office are. With that said, it tortures my eyes, nose and soul when I roll into a when I roll into a nasty house! How effin hard is it to clean a little bit every day?? It doesn’t take much effort to keep clutter and funk to a minimum unless you just have zero home training. If that’s the case your Mama ought to be shamed for sending you out into the world like that…ugh!!
I just re-read my earlier post and I have ALL kinds of errors. I’m so ashamed but you can blame it on me trying to focus on VSB AND do my job at the same time…:(
All men and women need to know how to let ur SO shine in a convo, esp. if these are people whose opinion mean something to her……in other words bringing up little things that dont seem like ur putting ur SO’s resume out there, but if ppl are asking u questions and ur SO is like damn Im here too, u gotta be able to interject with little things ur SO can shine on…….makes that drive back home a happy time…… guaranteed
The extension to this is knowing how to be a good wingman. Even if u know its a suicide mission, grown men gotta be goose to ur homie’s maverick. hopefully said homie won’t end up doing a crazy maneuver and get u killed (spoiler alert if u never seen Top Gun)
A less popular thing that men and women need to know how to do is be able to check friends and loved ones in public without embarrassing them. sometimes u gotta be a ni99a to ur ni99as but that dont mean u need to be a ni99a bout it…… Important ppl in your life will inadvertently get out of pocket in front of friends, co-workers, ur wife etc….. u gotta be able to let it be known that that ish aint kosher w/o makin future interactions awkward and sh*t.
think that’s it for now, need to email this presentation. goodnight and good luck
“All men and women need to know how to let ur SO shine in a convo, esp. if these are people whose opinion mean something to her……in other words bringing up little things that dont seem like ur putting ur SO’s resume out there, but if ppl are asking u questions and ur SO is like damn Im here too, u gotta be able to interject with little things ur SO can shine on…….makes that drive back home a happy time…… guaranteed”
wow. this is a very astute observation and sh*t.
“sometimes u gotta be a ni99a to ur ni99as but that dont mean u need to be a ni99a bout it……”
Loves it.
1. Winning gracefully. It’s hard to resist the urge of just saying “To all those that doubted that i’d make it, to all the haters, to all the umeployed philosophers, e-thugs….you can all lick my salty nuts!”.
2.Telling a good friend of mine that i think his new girl is a….”social butterfly”, i just can’t think of a tactful way of telling a brother….i’m usually waiting in the shadow with a bottle of scotch and a host of “there are many fish” speeches.
3. Falling in love with every women who shows me even the littliest bit of attention (Eternal sunshine of a spottless mind)
4. With me being a know-it-all (no, really), allowing someone (read woman/girlfriend) to win an argument, even when you know their argument is based on a logical fallicy.
Champ, i can’t say no to moms….i mean she gave you life for crying out loud, and she put up with your sh*t (literally)…how do you say no
i’m……not sure there is anything wrong with no. 1……… sometimes u gottal let them nookas know
seems like you got a little bit of Joel Barrish in you..
LOVE the reference.. GREAT MOVIE!!
This a cosign to your cosign to my comment…yes, the cheek!
If i could die, and come back as a ghostwriter that is the movie i’d write…i’ve made everyone of my exes watch that movie yet suprisingly none of them payed attention to the second last story arc (my favourite) when Tangerine asks “why didn’t you come back then?” and Joel replies “i wanted, but you sayed go…and you sayed it with such disdain”….i think it must be hex/curse or something cause a granule of dust always hovers its way into my cornea everytime this scene comes on, and i suffer from a serious case of hay-fever.
d*ng.. now i gotta go watch it.. they were showing it on tv over the weekend.. (my definition of Heaven).. it’s the definition of EVERYTHING that all of us wished for at one point or another..
then when you realize that when he said “took the train to Montauk today, don’t know why”.. at the beginning of the story.. that’s the ONLY thing that he remembered in his subconscious.. and they’d met already..
CLASSIC!!! it was beautifully told.. and VERY vibrant..
“hide me in your humiliation!”
i LOVE indie movies that focus on the way the story is told.. marquee actors and a great story.. = me being VERY happy..
500 days of summer was a good one too… please check it out..
sorry to make this a digression on a movie…but…
my SO convinced me to see 500 days, and i just couldnt get into it. there werent any qualities that made me really like that squinty 3rd rock dude or the untalented bang-haired singer chick. dude seemed type whiny and obsessive; she seemed aloof and fickle. i dunno, when i watch a movie, usually no pathos=no watch again.
however, ESSM=sheer brilliance. gondry at his best. also, go peep “The Science of Sleep.”
OH!! i JUST got the whole “case of hay-fever” thing.. piece of dust in the cornea..
awww.. *gives you a kiss*
“Champ, i can’t say no to moms….i mean she gave you life for crying out loud, and she put up with your sh*t (literally)…how do you say no”
i have no idea, lol, when you let me know, tell me
i’m trying, but i just can’t get past that steelers fellow- roes-whateverhisnameis…. he sounds like a PROPER arsehole, oh my word!!! reminds me of the stories that used to circulate about mike tyson back in the day – but about 100 times worse! ugh.
i sincerely hope your beloved team finds a better class of star player, because this imbecile’s really letting the side down….
reminds me of the stories that used to circulate about mike tyson back in the day – but about 100 times worse
you know, while mike tyson has definitely done some foul sh*t, i never really thought there was much malicious intent. i dont know, he just seems like a generally good hearted dude who just cant control himself, like ron artest or dr. octo from spiderman
The thing that killed me about Big Ben was the “why are you bothering me with this sh*t” look he had on his face when he held his press conference.
I honestly think Mike Tyson didn’t know any better…sometimes.
Mine aren’t hard to master, buuut…
Every man should know how to grocery shop, & wash a load of clothes without messing them up.
Every woman should have a few tools around the house so she can do basic fixes if necessary (without waiting for a man who may not be around, LOL). At the very least, own a Phillips head screwdriver!
co-sign!
EVERYBODY should be able to most ANYTHING for themselves. That cannot be over emphasized.
*insert “do”
We also have consistent commentators from London, Johannesburg, Sydney, and many other foreign cities, and it honestly amazes me that people in Africa and Europe are reading sh– that I’m writing on my little Dell PC in Pittsburgh, PA
woo hoo!!!! hip hip hooray!! nice interview, and THANKS EVER SO MUCH for the shout-out! *blows kisses from wintery johannesburg* yes indeed, my mornings would be horrid without my VSB fix!
***filed under “wait, does she realize that we did that interview almost two years ago?”***
Deflated, slinks into corner and reaches for soothing glass of merlot, taking comfort in the fact that she was a regular jo’burg commentator 2 years ago…
LMAO @ the 3 ways of “breaking up” with a woman – you are SO on point with that and I have fallen victim to all 3 (though only 2 breakups which means that one man employed two tactics). I guess I’m wiser for it, but I’m a little nervous about how it will impact my relationship with the next man. I’m scared I might be a little too quick to pull a g dubb pre-emptive strike on his ass.
“I guess I’m wiser for it, but I’m a little nervous about how it will impact my relationship with the next man”
Girl, I feel the same way. In fact the impact that it now has over me is that I over-analyze everything that a guy says and does. For example if I call a dude and he doesn’t pick up the phone or call me back in 5 mins, my brain tells me he’s getting ready to pull a “david blaine” (although the dude may call back in 8 mins), and I immediately tell myself that it was not meant to be and keep it moving
tragic
This is filed under the silly insignificant but true:
Use something other than body wash to wash your face…I haven’t met a man yet that owns facial wash. They have entire aisles & industries dedicated to proper face care. If you ‘re not sure what to buy ask the chick next to you in the store.
a brother got sensitive skin if i kept using body wash on my face, my face would dry out and i would look like dave chappelle whenever he played a white man (think racial draft….real mature Rondell…)
i usually use whatever my girl at the time uses, women seem to have done the research already no need to reinvent the wheel
@Alovelydai
I own facial wash and have used it for some time. Since I’ve had facial hair I’ve used it. No Diva Dude.
i must know some different type of men then, because i only know one guy who doesn’t separate facial care from body care products, and i ‘ewwed’ him thoroughly. lol. you’d think with all that shaving they have to do, this would be automatic.
Whew! My faith has been restored. And yes my hubby uses whatever I use but will NOT buy his own shyt!
Damn! Just yesterday I decided “eff the facial wash” and went back to the body wash figuring that it’s all soap and skin so what’s the big deal? oye vey!
@ Caballeroso
It’s just weird…you don’t wash dishes with laundry detergent do you…or do you?
I did use a facial wash for a time but it was hard to find one that didn’t create a nuclear holocaust on my face because I have sensitive skin. I just used acne pads to get the dirt off of my face I was my face in the morning. It has worked out pretty well, but I see what you are saying.
I did use a facial wash for a time but it was hard to find one that didn’t create a nuclear holocaust
That’s so not funny…yet it is,lol. Have you tried something not as strong like Witch Hazel?
In high school I did. My mom grew up on a farm so we always kept Witch Hazel. My little sister still uses it. Me and her have probably the most sensitive skin in our family. I use laundry detergent with no dye in it and my whole family only uses Ivory soap. It’s weird, I know.
@ComicBookGuy
Yeah, I had sensitive skin when I was younger. Kind of grew out of it for the most part, so I understand where you’re coming from.
Thanks for the heads up 6, I’ll have to try that.
No problem, 6. I’ve using it for awhile and it works better for me. Stridex or Oxy will do the trick.
this thread reeks of gayness
No percentage?
lmao…
hey some brothers have sensitive skin, that doesn’t make us sensitive…sh*t i’m sure Tupac used to shave his armpits!
I saw that one coming, Champ. Hey, some of us like to take care our skin. It damn sure makes my day when a woman just out of the blue says “You have really nice (or pretty) skin” or when a woman rubs my arm and says “your skin is so soft”. Those compliments make it all worth it. No diva dude.
i have a serious question.
up until eh… maybe 2008ish… i absolutely loathed the idea of cooking. i can bake pretty much anything. but cooking, eh, after having to make full meals for my younger siblings every night at eleven years old, i vowed that i would never grow up and cook for anyone else. in fact, i planned on marrying a cook. lol.
buuuut now that i’m grown and ish, i see the problem in that thinking and i’ve actually developed a like (not love yet) for cooking, and the mmms and yummms i’ve gotten from the testosterone species hasn’t hurt either. but my question is… i’m a total recipe cook. like, anything besides the basics (burgers, chicken, fries, etc) i have to use a recipe, no matter how many times i’ve made it. do i lose points for this? cause i’m nowhere near big momma ‘nem who can add a dash of this and some of that in a pot and it taste exactly right. i need measurements. lol.
@Muze
” i’m a total recipe cook. like, anything besides the basics (burgers, chicken, fries, etc) i have to use a recipe, no matter how many times i’ve made it. do i lose points for this?”
Good question. I would like to know this also. I can cook breakfast food without recipes or instructions but anything else I need them.
See I’m the complete opposite…I’m Rachel Ray in the kitchen…I can cook anything w/o one single measurement. On the other hand I have cried making a cheese cake…real tears…I darn near hyperventilated. So I give you mad points for using recipes…heck.. u can whip up some good eats & dessert too sans the sobbing!
If I were a boy I wouldn’t give 2 beans about a recipe.
lol. aw. cheesecake is my specialty! me loves it. mmm. can’t eat it anymore though so i haven’t made it in a minute. :-/
@Muze
LOL…I don’t see why you should lose points for using a recipe.
I need a recipe depending on what it is. But if I know what it should taste like, I just need to know the ingredients. I made homemade honey mustard and chicken cordon bleu from scratch. I watch the Food Network, so I’m always trying to experiement. Last night I made broiled tilapia seasoned in a dry rub I made…yum!
You lose no points for this. The fact that you are willing to put forth the effort means everything. Besides, when big momma ‘nem started, she probably wasn’t the master chef she is now. Keep doing what you do, eventually you’ll recognize a pattern and will be able to go off script and improvise.
Ain’t nothing wrong with using a recipe book. I keep plenty around, whether it is my Weber’s grill book or Cook This, Not That. At the same time, I like to experiment with flavors to create my own flavors. My thing when it comes to cooking, well, food period, is flavor. Preparation is not that big of a deal to me, just make sure it tastes good. Recipes are good to have and like my frat said, you lose no points because a lot of us do but it’s also cool to try your own thing outside of recipes so you can have some stuff up your sleeve.
Excellent quesiton Muze – I completely fall into this category. And thanks Caballleros and ComicBookGuy for your encouraging replies.
Anytime
Any woman that tries to goes a long way in my book. Besides, I still call my mom for cooking advice all the time.
this makes me happy. lol
Funny thing is that I always thought I got my love of cooking from my mom. Come to find out that I probably got it from my grandfather on my dad’s side. He died before I went to kindergarten but I do remember him. My mom said that he was the one that cooked everything at Christmas, Thanksgiving, etc. My mom’s pecan pie was my grandfather’s recipe this whole time. He had a pecan tree in his backyard.
@musze
thanks for asking this. I don’t eat a lot of foods so I need recipes because I don’t know how it should taste. I also like pictures in cookbooks. Dishes I eat I can experiment with and I’m sure with practice it will get better.
Men don’t care as long as it tastes good. I started out cooking w/ recipes but now i don’t need them. After a while, you won’t either unless it’s something completely new and “measurement sensitive” i like to call it.
I’m decent at cooking, but I truly wish I had baking skills. It is not a skill to be taken advantage of.
@ everyone
yay! okay i feel much better. lol. and thanks to the fellas for weighing in. i’m so self-conscious about my cooking bc i’ve always been the one everyone teased about burning boiled water. lol. (not that i’ve ever done that. lol)
this: “thanks for asking this. I don’t eat a lot of foods so I need recipes because I don’t know how it should taste. I also like pictures in cookbooks. Dishes I eat I can experiment with and I’m sure with practice it will get better.”
is me! usually when i cook for a man, i won’t eat it because i don’t eat red meat, can’t eat dairy, hate certain seafood, and can’t eat a lot of sugar either. so my meal will be totally different than his. lmbo. so the only time i really cook ‘man’ foods is well, when i have a man. lol. now, i will experiment to taste, don’t get me wrong, but the foundations… yeah def using a recipe and then flavor to his liking.
Good post
I hate guys for #2. Especially “the sabatoge” I can get with “the stealth bomber” if that’s the truth and I can take a hint with “David Blaine”. My feeling is let’s be adults just tell me you’re not feeling me any more, you meet somebody else or it isn’t working. Sure it’ll hurt but at least it’s the truth and I’m not wondering (and don’t have to surpisingly see your Facebook pic has changed to a couple shot)
Know I understand this is hard for dudes because most chicks are crazy and emotional and they’d probably try to change themselves to make you happy, beat down the chick you just met or try to fix whatever ain’t working (according to guys). So oddly enough I feel for y’all on this one.
I think the list for VSS’s is similar.
1. Staying true to your principles is true for everyone
2. Breaking up with a guy is hard for us too and I think since some of y’all are used to doing the dumping it can be tricky. (SN: Plus the news will scare you about having an ex men are killing their exes like everyday)
4. Telling a friend they’re edging up is hard period.
6. figuring out the right haircut for you us hard fir ladies too. We have more choices.
I’ll add
- finding a clothing style thats right for you (and adjusting as you uhhh…well “grow”) in HS pencil skirts and sheath dresses work for me, well after college and 45-50lbs not so much. I had to switch to alines and empire dresses. Now 35-40lbs lighter I’m back in those pencils skirt. To make it short be honest with yourself about your body type and dress accordingly.
- turning down a guy without coming off as a b!tch. I had a hard time with this due to my directness after overcompensating for being so nice guys didn’t get that I was saying no
- for some VSSs handling yourself in a make dominated industry. Tough line
That’s all I got. I’m sure I’ll be back with more.
@OftenConfused
“- turning down a guy without coming off as a b!tch. I had a hard time with this due to my directness after overcompensating for being so nice guys didn’t get that I was saying no”
That’s my problem. When I’m nice, they don’t get the hint. If I’m straight forward and truthful, I’m stuck up or a b*tch. My new line is “I don’t feel any romance”…but they still think they have a chance. Ugh.
Great list, Champ!!
Your list can apply to women… except the whole “erection peeing” thing. We don’t have that problem. lol.
Skills women(and men) must have…
1. How to check your more “friendly” friend. Seriously, you have to have a certain level of tact when trying to tell your girl that she’s a ho without actually using the term “ho”.
2. Know when to hold them, know when to fold them, know when to walk away, know when to run. This can apply to everything in life, from old friendships to jobs to romantic relationships.
“1. How to check your more “friendly” friend. Seriously, you have to have a certain level of tact when trying to tell your girl that she’s a ho without actually using the term “ho”
so what do you actually say? “hey, kim, you know those everest college commercials they have on tv? those schools that let anybody with a pulse and a checkbook in?”
“yeah. why”
“well, thats you right now”
““hey, kim, you know those everest college commercials they have on tv? those schools that let anybody with a pulse and a checkbook in?”
“yeah. why”
“well, thats you right now””
You’re alleging this is more ridiculous than just calling her a ho, but I’mma have to thank you for this suggestion. I’m using it. lol
@Champ and Cheekie
Can you explain to me why these Everest and the other school with the 2520 chic rapping only come on TV weeknights after 12:00am.
“Can you explain to me why these Everest and the other school with the 2520 chic rapping only come on TV weeknights after 12:00am.”
*activatekanyecaps*
I HATE THAT COMMERCIAL SO DAMN MUCH. That chick’s voice is annoying and the sing-song rappin’ is STUPID. She has no flow and I can’t even say the word “connection” without thinking of that chick and the way she says it, “con-nec-tion”. STOP.
*breathes*
@Humble_One,
“Can you explain to me why these Everest and the other school with the 2520 chic rapping only come on TV weeknights after 12:00am.”
It always comes on when I’m trying to watch Adult Swim on CN. I turn the channel because she annoys the ‘ish out of me!
this commercial woke me up outta my sleep last night.. i was like, “WHAT THE Heck IS THAT!?!?!”
@legitimate_soul
“It always comes on when I’m trying to watch Adult Swim on CN. I turn the channel because she annoys the ‘ish out of me!”
Now that I think about it. I think I’ve only seen these commercials watching Adult Swim and Comedy Central at night.
LOL!!
Well, you could take the “I’m concerned about you” approach. Start off with the “You know I love you, right. You’re my girl, but…”
Word to #2!
Everyone should know how to style their hair. You should know how to maintain your weave or hair on your own and not depend solely on a stylist. You should not walk around looking like who shot John b/c you couldn’t get an appointment this week.
As another lady mentioned, wear clothes for your body type. Would I love to wear those little jean shorts….I sure would. However I think I got too much going in the backyard, so I leave that alone.
“Would I love to wear those little jean shorts….I sure would. However I think I got too much going in the backyard, so I leave that alone.”
This comment is useless without pics.
@Humble_One
LOL! I will never post a pic of my hind parts…ever. I just met this women on Friday…and she’s walking behind me and says she wishes she had a nice round a$$ like that (pointing to me)! WTF?!! I thought I was camoflauging this sh*t!
Ok, maybe the image of that conversation is even more pleasing.
@ComicBookGuy
Not you too!??
@LaBakir,
Actually, just the idea of a woman saying that she wants a butt like another woman is funny to me. The fact that she straight pointed you out is killing me. I thought women were a bit more discrete that that. Besides, you don’t need to post a picture of your hind parts. The fact that you run, like to hoop and you said that you would have eaten cookies with me after volleyball practice in college tells me all I need to know.
@ComicBookGuy
WHAAAATTTT?!!! I’ve had heterosexual women straight up be like “you gotta donk”. The women I know seem to be very comfortable sizing each other up,lol.
@LaBakir
“LOL! I will never post a pic of my hind parts…ever. I just met this women on Friday…and she’s walking behind me and says she wishes she had a nice round a$$ like that (pointing to me)! WTF?!! I thought I was camoflauging this sh*t!”
You don’t have to post a pic. Just email it to the VSBs. That conversation seems like the beginning of pron movie. Between you working out and that woman you mentioned I’d be at your door right now if I wasn’t 5’1″.
@Humble_One
LOL! You being 5’1″ is not possible. I shall not believe you.
However I think I got too much going in the backyard, so I leave that alone.
I would appreciate it if you would not put lovely images like that in my head.
Amen…..and I can’t wear skinny jeans anymore, they give me muffin top. lol
@SmartFoxGirl
I can dig it…you gotta know when to let certain styles go,lol.
My friend will try to put me in a different dressed when we’re shopping and I’ll tell her straight up that I don’t think it’ll compliment my shape…no matter how cute it is
I’m very careful about shorts…I don’t wanna look like a skripper or a Luke video extra.
well color me jealous. i wear skinny jeans and shorts bc my curves are petite. and when i say petite i mean smaller than [insert some mildly curved road in somewhere, usa]‘s curves. lol. i don’t want a ghetto booty, and i have a dink, but a donk or something close would be nice. lol
lmbo at skripper or luke video girl. stoppp.
@Muze
I wear skinny jeans all the time…I like the way they look.
I’m self-conscious about my a$$ and while I probably could pull of those shorts…I’m just not comfortable walking around the hood in them. On vacation…MAYBE.
I don’t think it’s that big. I just have a small waist…and that makes it look bigger than it is.
Somedays I love it…and I’ll do the “uh-oh” dance in the mirror….other days…I look at it and I want a divorce.
I am mad at you for saying you have a dink. I could work with a girl with a dink, but that term is just too funny.
@Muze
” i don’t want a ghetto booty, and i have a dink, but a donk or something close would be nice. lol”
LMAO. Dink? Do you mind if I steal that? My boy calls dinks “little cherry booties”.
@SmartFoxGirl
“Amen…..and I can’t wear skinny jeans anymore, they give me muffin top. lol”
I am permanently scarred from seeing a man with skinny jeans and a muffin top at the mall.
@Humble_One
*vomits Brian from Family Guy style*
@SmartFoxGirl,
You had a longer run than I did. The last time I could wear skinny jeans was 4th grade. My genetics started to come into play by 5th grade. I was still a kid, but a kid with “yams” (hips, thighs, and butt) as my homeboy would say.
@legitimate_soul
“The last time I could wear skinny jeans was 4th grade. My genetics started to come into play by 5th grade. I was still a kid, but a kid with “yams” (hips, thighs, and butt) as my homeboy would say.”
This comment is useless without a current pic.
They don’t make skinny jeans for black women. ;(
@SmartFoxGirl
Uh huh! Levi’s skinny jeans are the bomb!
@SmartFoxGirl
What is the difference between skinny jeans and regular tight jeans that women wear?
@SmartFoxGirl
“They don’t make skinny jeans for black women. ;(”
^ I would agree. The jeans are cut very slim, do not take into account butt to waist ratio, and because are “skinny” don’t realize that sisters are fit enough for a form fitting jean that compliments curves. In some cases some sisters can get away with skinny jeans with some stretch in em’
@Humble_One
“What is the difference between skinny jeans and regular tight jeans that women wear?”
I would wager it’s the cut. Pretty much I know when I can’t get them over the thickest part of my thigh it ain’t happenin’, cap’n. I think it is comparable to the VSB’s discussion of Express for Men and Structure cut of clothes for them. Everything ain’t for everybody. i can get a jean that fits me like a skinny jean, but it ain’t a skinny jean.
Word to both of your contributions. And also, I have always and will love the phrase “who shot John”.
Please tell me you saw Family Guy from Sunday.
Yes, and it was effin’ glorious.
Breaking up is hard to do. I’m passive-aggressive so I either breakup via voicemail (I know that aint right) or I go the f**k off and burn bridges (while talking about his weak peen game–again, I know that aint right).
***burning meka’s invite to the vsb bbq***
DANG!! that for D*MN sure ain’t right…
i’m so mad at you for that.. lol..
Knowing your lane.
Some men don’t know their position or don’t want to accept it. If you are an average brother or a member of CHC for Sub3′s your chances of getting the pretty girl with the sick @ss-to-waist ratio is pretty low. If you work at Rent-A-Center repossesing LCD TV’s and couches your chances of getting the woman is pretty low.
Knowing how to pick the right woman to commit to
I have married friends that are miserable because they didn’t have the tools to pick the right woman to settle down with. It’s crazy how some people will go hard confidently in the worng direction. It is never 100% accurate but you will see signs early that you need to leave her alone. The skill is in being able to interpret those signs.
Doing what is right and not what feels good
This was never hard for me thanks to my parents. I’ve watched men and women struggle with this. Being able to realize that some situations are bigger than your feelings can save a lot of grief and drama.
Being able to take a L or putting your pride or ego to the side
This is another tough one for some men and women. Some people absolutely cannot come up on the short end at anything. Life is not perfect. You win some you lose some. No one is special. The sooner you realize that you winning at everything can lead to you losing in the bigger picture the better off you will be.
@Humble_One
“Knowing how to pick the right woman to commit to
I have married friends that are miserable because they didn’t have the tools to pick the right woman to settle down with. It’s crazy how some people will go hard confidently in the worng direction. It is never 100% accurate but you will see signs early that you need to leave her alone. The skill is in being able to interpret those signs.”
You nailed it. I tell my brother all the time…WHY? He ends up with pretty girls who either have no personality, are crazy, or slutty. Don’t see what you want to see, see what’s really there…men could definitely be more selective.
“Doing what is right and not what feels good
This was never hard for me thanks to my parents. I’ve watched men and women struggle with this. Being able to realize that some situations are bigger than your feelings can save a lot of grief and drama.”
*hand shake*
Being able to take a L or putting your pride or ego to the side
That’s what you are my dude from the D. For a guy that has had his @$$ by life since before he could walk (I had to wear braces on my legs like Forrest Gump, which my mother just loves to bring whenever she watches that movie), taking an L almost comes natural to me. You are right about folks taking a long time to realize that. People forget to count their blessings sometimes and when bad stuff happens to them, they look for someone to blame and let it beat the crap out of them. Life is not always going be easy and sh** happens. When people realize that, they will become a whole lot more happier with life. Let that stuff roll of your back and keep it moving.
@ComicBookGuy
For a guy that has had his @$$ by life since before he could walk (I had to wear braces on my legs like Forrest Gump, which my mother just loves to bring whenever she watches that movie), taking an L almost comes natural to me.
Awwww….I just pictured a lil boy w/ Malcolm X glasses and braces
Lol….That was before the glasses came into the picture. I wore brace on my legs around 2 years old. My sister still has horror stories about that time in my life because she was the one that had to put them on, not my mom.
@ComicBookGuy
I’d love to be a fly on the wall while these stories are being told,lmao
@LaBakir,
You would fall off of the wall from laughing so hard. I love the women in my family, but they are crazy.
@ComicBookGuy
I love a good laugh! My BFF can’t stand when me and her mom are together b/c I just egg her mother on in all of her ignorancy. When she has an audience it’s not stopping her.
@ComicBookGuy
I feel you. I think growing up different than everyone else helped me to be like this. When you are an easy target for folks and never get your way all the time it gives you a sense of humility. Falling off helps in this too. When I fell off it put a lot of thing into perspective.
knowing your lane….
OMG…. guy working at taco hell, wack donalds, or in the kitchen at chillis Stay in your lane… don’t try to holler at me from the drive thru window, or as I going to my car where the workers smoke in the back of chilli’s…. ewww negro you smell like french fries… just saying… asking for a guy to have a college degree, nice, reads books, no kids, and not live at home with parents is the requirement.
The wack donalds worker will be quick to tell me “ey gur” as i give the “ninja you can’t be serious” look. STAY IN YOUR LANE. ugh…
@SmartFoxGirl
“The wack donalds worker will be quick to tell me “ey gur” as i give the “ninja you can’t be serious” look. STAY IN YOUR LANE. ugh…”
I can’t holla at you slanging McDoubles and steak bagels? What about if I worked at Popeye’s?
Only cause you stay droppin that knowledge…but you’d have to say it’s you first.
That’s when I see women give a guy the Shaq face.
http://sportsmansdaily.com/thescrum/wp-content/shaq-299×300.jpg
LMMMAAAOOOO…you made me spit out food with that pic. Dead on
Knowledge of self, stepping into owning your true self, knowing what works for you and being true to that/yourself, from eveything to associations to style.Grown women ought know and practice this, making no apologies.
Having integrity/strong sound character/morals/values, applies to all
Having standards and the resolve to stand behind them, “for those whom you wish to love you” (Floetry). No apologies.
Accountability, own your part in sh*t. good and bad,.this applies to everyone!
“Knowledge of self, stepping into owning your true self, knowing what works for you and being true to that/yourself, from eveything to associations to style.Grown women ought know and practice this, making no apologies.”
*high five*
I think the above is one the things that truly make you grown.
muy importante, if more folk did this, there’d be far less hate amonst women and more mutual recognition and respect if nothing else.
Exactly.
Women need to listen to their guts instead of hearing some of the bs that people try to feed them. If you always feel like your man is no good, then nine times out of ten, he is not. If he is a good guy and your just being paranoid because of past relationships, then you have trust issues and don’t need to be with anybody.
yessssssssss TRUST your intuition, it never lies!!!
Not just about men either but all things, learn to listen to and trust your intuition.
The whole peeing with the erection thing is definitely a problem for men. First thing in the morning and post coitus are the times where this is most prevalent. I know I’m not the only one who has had to superman the toilet to make it happen…well maybe.
I know I’m not the only one who has had to superman the toilet to make it happen…well maybe
this is why if i ever build my own house, i’m definitely installing a urinal
Lol @ champ a girlfriend of mine bought a house that has a urinal in the basement. We’ve told her her future husband will love that!
Nice post as usual Champ. Learning how to break up properly and letting your boy know he’s effin up are good man qualities that show maturity.
You forgot how to handle a woman. Only real men truly know how to handle a real woman. That is something all men should master…how to treat a lady or your future wife.
As for women, we’re already masters at so many (*smile*) but we could definitely master the art of preservation.
To me that means taking care of your body (beyond the hair) and eating right/working out etc.
Also, preserving our tongue alittle more (this is something I still haven’t mastered).
And preserving our sexuality aka don’t act like a hoe if you don’t want to be treated like one (being more selective in who we give our bodies to) This makes it difficult for the good women out there to be treated right and not cheated on.
That is something all men should master…how to treat a lady or your future wife.
i was thisclose to including something about “knowing the difference between a lady and an, ummmm, unlady” but i didnt feel like fighting that battle in the comments today
That would make a very good post!…Does she speak Bird? by Champ
umm.. the main things have already been said.. and if i repeat, please excuse me… being a tomboy, i might be a bit off BUT..
1. every woman should know how to change her own tire.. Lord willing you won’t have to, but STILL!! not all of us can be the “damsel in distress” waiting for the guy to come help us out.. it’s HOT on the side of the expressway!!
do i get an extra point since i can do my brakes?!
2. someone mentioned how to turn down a guy without being a b*tch.. this is the truth!! i’ve told myself that if someone approached me respectfully, even if i wasn’t interested.. i would at least give them my name.. it takes A LOT for a man to approach a woman.. i can sympathize now because there’s this guy that i wanna approach at my gym.. and i’m PARALYZED with fear… it ain’t easy..
i’m sure that’s not it.. i’ll probably be back!
Nick_L_Odeon
“1. every woman should know how to change her own tire.. Lord willing you won’t have to, but STILL!! not all of us can be the “damsel in distress” waiting for the guy to come help us out.. it’s HOT on the side of the expressway!!
do i get an extra point since i can do my brakes?!”
You get more than an extra point for being able to do these things. This is attractive to me. I have tried show women I was with in the past how to do certain things so that they weren’t at the mercy of some ninja trying to overcharge or take advantage of them. And they refused and sometimes even argued with me that they didn’t want to learn how to do it. They say that “I have you I don’t need to learn how to do that”.
considering you put the sentence in the past tense, i’m assuming that “i have you, i don’t need to learn how to do that” comment.. no longer applies.. lol..
#powersofdeduction #seewhatididthere.. lol
they actually taught us how to change a tire in driver’s ed class.. (before the budget cuts).. why would you NOT wanna learn this.. “that is NOT gangsta!” (in Riley voice..)
@Nick_L_Odeon
I don’t know how to change a tire…not opposed to learning though. Just never had anybody show me. But I also pay $55 a year for AAA, so in the event…I’d probably just call them.
I do however know my way arounda tool box, and have put together dressers by myself.
^ Ditto to what she said. I got tools, hecka different sizes of screwdrivers and all that. I can put together and fix some things. I am open to learning how to change a tire and know a lil’ bit, but don’t feel comfortable doing it on my own yet.
WORD to AAA. if i’m paying $152 a month (i have them for my car ins too), best believe i will call and wait the 15 mins it takes the cute tow driver to come and change my flat. lol.
because of my first boyfriend who was a car fiend though, i do know how to change a tire and put brake pads, change spark plugs, change battery… all the fluids, and change the oil.
…do i see myself ever putting this to use besides the one time i absolutely HAD to change a tire? nope. lol
@Muze
“because of my first boyfriend who was a car fiend though, i do know how to change a tire and put brake pads, change spark plugs, change battery… all the fluids, and change the oil.
…do i see myself ever putting this to use besides the one time i absolutely HAD to change a tire? nope. lol”
I would do all of those things for my woman (if I had one). As far as I’m concerned you get points for knowing how to do it if you had to. My beef is with women not willing to learn something that will help you out in the long run.
I was just gong to say the same thing. I use my fingers to call AAA.
WORD to #2. I don’t even drive so I’m working on number 1, but it is something I thought about adding to this list even though I don’t know how…lol. Anywho. Back to Number 2. Whenever someone approaches you and you think about being a meanie, think about the anxiety YOU feel when approaching someone at the very least. At the very most, just treat folks right. Smile. It’ll make both you and them feel better.
Eventually, a man MUST learn to master this simple fact:
HOW you speak to a woman is as (or more) important than WHAT you say to a woman. If she feels disrespected by your delivery, than you’ve lost the battle.
HOW you speak to a woman is as (or more) important than WHAT you say to a woman. If she feels disrespected by your delivery
this is true. even “put em on the glass” will make a woman melt if you say it right
I have to strongly agree here too…….tone and inflection very very important, in another sense even from other brawds young, ANYONE!!! some of us can pick up the slight sideways, patronizing, condescending, etc..mf’ers are not slick
@James–I think this applies to men and women. Kindness and basic respect go a long way.
@ Champ–I’m going to need you to call me so I can hear how in the hell “put em on the glass” can be delivered in a way that won’t get you laughed at or slapped!!
Agree with #2 and #5, its tough to tell women you care about no.
Men must also master:
1. Ability to hold your…rejoice..during sex, until the time is right.
2.How to play their position. In some instances, you are the lead, but other times you need to fall back and let ur lady get the shine.
A true leader is also a servant.
Wow! Thanks for stating #2! Doesn’t make you any less of a man, to me it makes you more! When you support her in her moment, a REAL women will show her gratitude for that!
“you’re embarrassing the crew, and you’re treating women so badly that you’re c*ck-blocking us by osmosis. stop being a d*ck”
LMFAO
i always appreciate comments from people named sade’
I also want to add
- every man should be able to drive stick. What if I need you to take my car to the shop or something?
-every man should have some sense of direction (or at least know how to read a map- no GPSs don’t count)
I got these two from my dad. he taught me to drive a manual and I can still call him from just about anywhere and he can direct me where I’m trying to go. (granted I have an excellent sense of direction myself)
should be able drive period…I truly abhor a none driving man o_O like what kind of shit LOL
@OftenConfused
c/s the sense of direction….I don’t think I’ve met a man yet that has one….real talk
@LaBakir
“c/s the sense of direction….I don’t think I’ve met a man yet that has one….real talk”
I have an excellent sense of direction. But at the same time I got friends that have horrible direction sense.
I think some women have a far better sense of direction, I am a GPS for real LOL…but when you are with man allow him to think he is actually charting the course and you are just helping *wink*, ego intact and reaches destination without getting lost LOL
“but when you are with man allow him to think he is actually charting the course and you are just helping *wink*, ego intact and reaches destination without getting lost”
nah I tried this once and lost an hour of my life circling the beltway. Not again.
noooooo, you are directing on the sly is the point, I see you missed that too LOL its all gravy tho LOL
@OftenConfused @ LaBkir
I will co-sign both the driving of manual transmissions and map reading.
Everyone in my fam can drive stick.
I can’t speak for any other dude but my pops mad sure my brother and I could read maps. Then I got an extra dose from my nutjob jrotc teachers in high school.
@OftenConfused
“- every man should be able to drive stick. What if I need you to take my car to the shop or something?”
I don’t get how a grown man can’t drive a stick. Unless you’re from New York. Some cars you just can’t drive in automatic. Maybe it’s because I’ve driven sports cars but I don’t get the same feeling driving a automatice as a stick. What’s even worse are when people drive automatic Corvettes, 911′s, Mustangs, etc. The only way it’s acceptable is if you are in a lot of stop and go traffic or you drag race.
@ humble one I don’t know but there’s are plenty.
-> 
.Nothing turns my smile to a frown quicker than to see a guy in a Z and it be an automatic
I’ve always driven coupes not real sports cars ( del sol, cougar, scion tv) but they all be fun to drive especially since they were manuals. Something about changing gears just makes it sportier. I dreadvthe day I have to grow up and get a sedan.
Corvettes, 911’s, Mustangs, etc
Cars of this ilk should only come with stick shift. Anything else is borderline communist.
@OftenConfused
“I’ve always driven coupes not real sports cars ( del sol, cougar, scion tv) but they all be fun to drive especially since they were manuals. Something about changing gears just makes it sportier. I dreadvthe day I have to grow up and get a sedan.”
Same here. I’m a 2-door person. The only time I would do a 4-door is a 94-96 Impala SS, M5, Maruader, or G8. There is nothing like downshifting and hearing the engine rev or downshifiting on the freeway and chirping the tires. I need a new car and I’m trying hard to justify getting a 2011 5.0 Mustang, Camaro SS, or Dodge Challenger SRT-8.
5.0, son. My favorite sports car will finally be back and in full effect. The beast has returned.
@ComicBookGuy
“5.0, son. My favorite sports car will finally be back and in full effect. The beast has returned.”
When I saw that 5.0 badge on the side of the Mustang GT at the auto show earlier this year I lalmost it. I didn’t think Ford would ever bring it back. I want this car bad. Originally I was into the Challenger. I still am but it’s too heavy and the Camaro and Mustang’s 2nd tier models are putting out roughly the same power as the Challenger’s top model.
Believe me, bro, I feel ya. I was in high school when they said they were going to stop putting the 5.0 in and I was hurt because I thought I would drive a new 5.0 again. The new one is about to be a problem.
RandomThought after reading the tagline “adventures in urination” I’ve always envied men for being able to go standing up. It would just make those trips to public bathrooms so much easier.
“I also want to add
- every man should be able to drive stick. What if I need you to take my car to the shop or something?”
see, ive never driven a stick. sh*t, i dont even remember the last time i was in a car with a stick shift
@Champ I’m sad to say you just lost a couple of points with that statement.
My first car was a stick…Nothing like hitting 5th gear! But a stick will mess you up in really hilly territory, like San Francisco. Parallel parking on a steep hill requires timing, coordination, and skill.
I agree on a man knowing how to drive and atleast having a license whether he has a car or not.
@Nick_L_Odeon — if you could put out a PSA letting the fellas know that their water intake matters HUGELY!!! there’s NOTHING worse than seeing that junk come (pause) out lookin like oatmeal.. i’m NOT havin it!! besides, it slides down easier when it’s thinner..
I hate you so much for this. I’ll never look at oatmeal the same. (Runs to put this tip in the freak kit for future reference.)
he need more than water, his whole diet determines things..tropical fruit and pineapples help, along with healthy eating and proper hydration period.
lol.. i was gonna say “porridge”.. but not everyone in this piece knows what that is.. (i’m jamaican..) oatmeal got the point across though…
lol… OH!! and pineapple juice!! anything to make that junk sweeter.. and TRUST when i say i’m lookin at your diet the WHOLE week leading up to it.. and i use that info to figure out if i’m “takin the shot”..
‘i’m lookin at your diet the WHOLE week leading up to it.. and i use that info to figure out if i’m “takin the shot”..
Dang girl you puttin the VSS-biz out there like DAT!?!?!! I must admit I haven’t taken the “shot” in a loooooong time for that very reason lol.
i needed to put that out there.. cuz i don’t want this dude thinking i’m just prud-ish and blasphemin my name.. when truth is, he needs to get off the Burger King, and drink a fruit smoothie and it’ll be “all systems go!”
i’ll be as frisky as you want.. just do some prep beforehand..
i’m just sayin!
“if you do for me, i will do for you..” (sorry, i was singing this song all morning, and it fit, right chere!)
I don’t know why, but all of these responses have put a big smile on my face.
keep smiling my friend..
“i’m.just.being.honest.”
lol
Which is why I love this site and the VSSs on it. Y’all keeps it real.
All women/men must learn to recognize when to
SHUT THE F*CK UP!
many a violent situation can be avoided altogether if a person recognizes the need to stop talking…. completely.
Yaaaaaaaaaamam!!!!!!!
Brothas beware of taking a pee when you have a cold or allergies. One wrongly placed sneeze will land you in a place you don’t want to be. This is like not pissing or spitting in the wind advice.
LOL
1) Love the Sports Guy
2) Amen to everything on your list especially #2. I don’t quite understand the not being able to break up with someone properly thing. If you’re not unhappy no need to vacillate and such, furthermore, if you’re unhappy or have too many feelings or whatever, don’t involve me. If you decide to end a relationship with , DO NOT send a text the very damn next day talking about you regret your decision which leads me to #3
3) Not sure if someone’s mentioned this, but Learn to make a decision, stick with it and accept the consequences. I think theirs a lack of manliness in the average member of this generation.
Any men willing to disprove this, cholla.
@KayBeezy
“3) Not sure if someone’s mentioned this, but Learn to make a decision, stick with it and accept the consequences. I think theirs a lack of manliness in the average member of this generation.”
I cosign this 100%. I’m so tired of people making decisions and then b***hing up and not wanting to deal with the consequences. Some people think they can walk through life saying and doing whatever and not be held accountable. They even get mad when you try to hold them accountable. Or they get mad when you make a move based on their decision and it backfires on them. It’s like the world is their show and everyone else is guest starring.
*”With someone”
and
*There’s, not “theirs” fecklessness makes my spelling and grammar mess up. :/
3. peeing while fully erect without splashing it all over the walls
How about getting dressed while fully erect. It’s not as hard as peeing but it is a challenge.
4. knowing when to pull a friend aside to tell him he’s f*cking up
I have and will do this. You got to call your homeboys on their BS. Just recently my friend’s wife was surprised I had her back and told my boy he was wrong for something he did.
5. learning how to say “no” to mom
I still wrestle with this. I have no problem telling a woman no. But my mother and father? I struggle with it sometimes. I feel guilty telling them no when I think there is some way that I can bend into a pretzle to help them.
So I spelled my own name wrong and I’m in moderation.
@Humble_One
LMAO!
@LaBakir
Lol. I don’t know how I spelled my own screen name wrong. I must be off today.
@The Champ–***burning meka’s invite to the vsb bbq***
Hey heyyyyy, that’s not nice. I was in charge of the baked beans, remember?
Sorry but I have to share this.
http://ftp.resource.org/courts.gov/c/F3/406/406.F3d.857.04-2309.04-2293.04-2032.html or google 406 F.3d 857.
Look at footnote 1. This makes my day. Who knew federal court judges could school you on the proper spelling and definition of ho and use Luda as an authority.
Champ, as loyal as I am to the Pittsburgh black and yellow, I can’t stomach Roethlisberger any longer. That said, if he’s sat down for the whole season or let go, then we’re left with Dennis Dixon (who has “flashes” of Cordell Stewart [shudder]) and Byron Leftwich (naaaaaah). Nevertheless, if Ben has to be on the team in order for the team to win, then so be it. Between Coach T, LeBeau, Ziggy Hood, Troy, etc., there are enough decent human beings on the team to counterbalance Ben Rapelisberger’s idiocy.
@LaBakir
Do you know anything about Mahwah, NJ?
@Humble_One
Yessir…it’s North Jersey. Close to NY State. Ramapo College is there. Pretty nice town from what I know. Why do you ask?
@LaBakir
“Yessir…it’s North Jersey. Close to NY State. Ramapo College is there. Pretty nice town from what I know. Why do you ask?”
I’ve seen a few jobs around there that interest me. I never heard of the place so I have questions. It must be a small town correct? Is it near a major metropolitan area?
Oh nice. Yes it is a small town. It’s not far from NYC and Passaic County and such. I’m not too familar w/ the area b/c that’s way North…but I do know that it’s nice and in Bergen County. You may be better off living in Passaic County…Bergen is a bit expensive.
How far is it from NYC? Is there a significant Black population there?
@Humble_One
online it says its 2.16% african americans in Mahwah and it’s about 30-40 min to NYC
@LaBakir
30-40min is not bad. At the same time 2.16% African American sucks. I have to do some more homework on this town. Thanks for the info.
Yeah, like I said….look @ Passaic County. You might be able to find more of “us” there…but I do know the further North you go…the whiter it gets.
Good luck!
Sidenote: Champers, please tell me you Googled “man attempting to pee” (or some variation) and this post picture is what popped up within at least the top 5 results.
Sorry but all I took from this was the fact that you are a steelers fan…And all I have to say is WHO DAT and don’t clam up come Halloween. It’s going to be something serious when the Saints and Steelers hook up in the dome…I mean ya’ll gonna get smashed like (insert your favorite metaphor)…that is all
Dr. Lipshitz Says…
We, ladies, need to know how to master the squat, for times when we really gotta go, but there’s no restroom to be found.
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