[Admin. Note: Apologies for the lateness of this post. I usually schedule my posts and let the guinea pigs running the Internets handle the rest. For some odd reason, this time, it didn't post at midnight like usual. Damn shame what happened to that dog though...]
I see it everyday.
Some Black man gets on his high horse on some social media about how he doesn’t like weaves and wants to run his fingers through a woman’s hair without having his hand smacked away.
(PJ Note: I hear women say this and I’ve heard of this “social media”, but I’ve only actually ever met one man in real life who has ever said that refuses to date a women with weave. He also said he won’t date women with tattoos. But his girl got a girlfriend…and tattoos. My point, people say a lot of things. STREETS IS TALKING.)
Black women respond with “yo mama got a weave” and “go get you a white woman den” and someone starts the hashtag #WeavesGiveLife (PJ Note: they do though, I saw Good Hair) and dissertations on how white women were the first to wear weaves anyway pop up on the internet for about a week straight.
All because of @IRespectWomenWithoutWeaves’ personal preference. But one venture onto @IRespectWomenWithoutWeaves’ instagram account and you see where his true problem lies…he doesn’t know a weave when he sees one.
And he’s not alone.
(PJ Note: Before I let her explain to me about what I don’t know about weaves, I’m going to go ahead and agree with everything she’s about to say with one caveat. We might not know a weave when we see one, but we know bad weaves, and I think that’s what most men are talking about when they say. If we don’t know its a weave…is it really a weave? #deep. Okay, not deep since the answer is obviously yes, but you get my point. Bad weave is the root of Black poverty and the downfall of every Black politician’s career.)
Here’s the thing brothas, your favorite female celebrity, of any race, is wearing a weave! WHAAAATTT? Yes. Yep. Kim K, Salma Hayek and Jennifer Aniston too. That fine girl who made your coffee at Starbucks this morning with the perfect curly fro…she may have an extension or two in the back to make it fuller. Day ruined? Get over it.
The fantasy of a woman with illustrious curls swinging down her back is one you all have perpetuated for so long and the truth of the matter is about 20% of the women in the world actually have the hair you all desire.
(PJ Note: I think she’s overstating how many women have weaves – 80% rocking that extra? Not buying it. That sh*t is expensive. PUN! And given how many people reached out for free tickets to see a movie that will come out two days later, either we’re broker than I think or cheaper. Either way, I’m starting to poll Black women I see on the street. It didn’t go so well this morning, but I’ll try again tomorrow. Some women are sensitive about this topic.)
What do you mean we all desire, girl writing on VSB today, you don’t know me?!?!?!
Here’s 5 Reasons Why Black Men Love Weaves…And Don’t Even Know It
- Beyonce. Yep. Her Majesty of Lacefronts. I don’t know a Black man who doesn’t find Beyonce attractive. You may not necessarily be ready to give it all for Queen Fony Pony but you ain’t passing up a chance to sample her waters if it ever comes your way and let’s face it—you ain’t never seen Beyonce’s real hair. Ever. Part of the fantasy of Beyonce is that she is a man’s dream: curvy body, long glamorous locks, talent and slightly can’t read or talk. Am I wrong?
- Kim K. I just picture Kanye getting into bed with Kim for that first time, starting to run his fingers through her hair and Kris Jenner popping in with the evening tea right before he could discover the truth. Black men love Kim Kardashian. Y’all will defend her honor until the end of time and swear up and down that all of her body parts are real. I’ll let the body parts one lie for now and turn your attention to the hair on her…head. I don’t know how many but believe me you…there’s an extension or two. I’m a poet and I don’t even know it.
- Instagram and Tumblr: I hung out on my homeboy’s IG page one day as I scrolled through I said “Homeboy, why are you following all these girls who look the same way?”…and he said, “You know men love booties and long hair at the end of the day”. My response was “most of these girls have weaves though, Homeboy”. His response was: http://gifrific.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/shocked-will-smith.gif. Yeah, we see y’all thirsting after every Brazilian silky on your IG timeline. We SEE YOU. And Tumblr is much of the same…
- “Is That Your Real Hair?” The answer to this question has launched a thousand thirst traps. Let me be the one to tell you: in today’s world weaves are harder to spot than real talent in a room full of pop stars. You’re being lied to…daily. Especially by women who you assume would have naturally long hair or hair of a certain texture. You’re being fooled! It hurts, I know.
- Your Dating History. Yep, I went there. You’ve dated a woman with a weave. You have. You’ve kept your hands out of her head and/or have gotten the evil eye after pulling too hard while making the beast with two backs. You’ve watched her pat her head into submission to keep from scratching her scalp and some of you have paid for her to have her very own Sasha Fierce moment.
So stop acting like weaves don’t run the world. They do. And you love it.
(PJ Note: I don’t think we love it. I just don’t think we hate it either. I don’t think most of us care. We get annoyed by all of your products in the bathroom but have no idea what 90 percent of them do. Point is, unless we wake up and your hair is laying on the floor in the morning, most of us probably couldn’t care less one way or the other. Only the vocal minority on Twitter is claiming they hate weaves. But that vocal minority hates everything. Literally. They also spend way too much time on Twitter hashtagging their lives away. If Twitter goes bye-bye, them folks cease to exist anywhere, then we’re back at square one. PJ has spoken.)
So what do you all think? Do we really loves weaves and weoeno (it)?