5 Things Men Say (and do) When We’re Just Running Game

Chicks dig the running game.

You sure?“, my homegirl replied.

Yup. Game.” I said. “He has you hook, line, and sinker. At this point you might as well be a f*cking joystick. We say sh*t like that around women with the hope that, a couple days later, you’ll have the exact same conversation we’re having right now with one of your girlfriends, talking about how you can’t really figure him out.

So he’s making up all of that stuff about his family and his trust issues?

Yes and No. I’m sure he’s telling the truth. He probably does have trust issues. He’s a black man in America. We all have trust issues. Sh*t, I’ve know you for five years and I still don’t trust your ass. Seriously though, you’ve known dude for two weeks. That’s not even three episodes of Jersey Shore. If he was really concerned with you helping him work through his trust issues, he would have waited a bit longer before revealing that he has trust issues. Why? Because he has trust issues, so he shouldn’t trust you.

So, what does he want?

You to prove exactly how trust-worthy you are by giving him some ass.

1. “I’m not ready for a relationship right now”

Why it’s game: If you polled every woman who’s ever heard this statement from a man, I’d bet at least 90 percent of them would say they heard it during a variant of the following scenario.

Boy approaches Girl while at National Gout Foundation fundraiser afterparty. Girl is visibly enthralled with the neatness Boy’s full beard, Boy’s Escada Sentiment, and Boy’s proper use of the term “Heteronormative” in a sentence. Boy and Girl exchange numbers, and Boy takes Girl on the best two dates of her post-Facebook life. Girl invites Boy over for “dinner”. After dinner, Boy and Girl sit on living room couch and talk. Girl engages Boy in convo, even though she’s so wet at this point she’s scared she’s going to leave a mark on her couch. Between slips of Sutter Home, Boy nonchalantly mentions that he doesn’t want Girl to get the wrong idea because he’s “not really ready for a serious relationship“.

It’s game because, we’ll, we’re not idiots. We know exactly what we’re doing, exactly how horny you are, and exactly what your expectations were entering the night. But, because she’s already thisclose to “go”, saying “I’m not ready for a commitment” at that moment allows a guy to do commitment type stuff (read: sex) while always having an “Hey, I told you I wasn’t ready for a serious relationship” out whenever she presses him for an actual commitment.

How do I know this? Well, ummm, moving on…

2. “You’re nobody to me”

Why it’s game: Although most men won’t actually come out and tell a woman he’s interested in that he thinks she doesn’t matter, “You’re nobody to me” game occurs when a guy treats a beautiful woman as persona non-grata for absolutely no reason. If he sees her with a group of her girlfriends, he’ll speak to and hug each of them except her. She tells a joke, he mimics a cricket. And, not only does he pretend to not know her name ahead of time (Most beautiful women assume that people already know their names before they’ve been formally introduced . Why? Well, because usually it’s true), he doesn’t even remember it after she tells him.

When it concerns her, he’s basically the guy in the audience at a comedy club who’s bored and silent while everyone around him is cracking up. And, as most stand-up comics will tell you, if you happen to notice the bored guy, you become obsessed with him. Why isn’t he laughing? Is my timing off? Was that joke stale? Did I offend him?

This is game because, well, savvy men know that attractive women are used to men paying attention to them. And, even though they might be attracted to that woman, they know that ignoring her can reverse the seduction script. Now, she’s paying attention to him. Why doesn’t he talk to me? Should I introduce myself? How come he didn’t laugh at my joke? When is he going to approve my friend request? How is it possible that I know this ninja’s name, and he can’t even recall mine? Would fellatio help him remember?

3. “You can be intimidating”

Why it’s game: While it’s true that a very small percentage of women are intimidating to a very small percentage of men, it’s game because well, men don’t talk to women who intimidate them. Why? Because they’re intimidated, duh.

If a man actually tells a woman he’s interested that she intimidates him, he must be talking to her. And, if he’s actually putting the effort into talking to her, he’s not intimidated by her. He’s just saying what he think needs to be said to get her to let her guard down, to get her to prove to him that she’s not intimidating at all.

Also, if she replies “What’s so intimidating about me?”, she’s now given him carte blanche to run off a list of each of her perceived faults right in front of her face. Think about that for a minute. She basically tells him “Hey, I’m not even sure if I’m interested in you yet, but go right ahead and tell me everything you think is f*cked up about me. Also, if you say that I’m “frigid and stiff”, I’ll make sure to show you exactly how loose I can be in the back of your Tahoe later tonight

4. “A woman like you is out of my league”

Why it’s game: Manages to combine the reverse bagging paradox dynamic of the “You can be intimidating” game with a direct punch to the guilt trip muscle every attractive single woman develops after her 28th birthday. Basically, (from an aesthetic standpoint) she is out of his league, but because of her numerous failed relationships with guys “in her league”, this statement starts an avalanche of re-evaluatory mental guilt caused by the memories of all the mundane dudes she’s overlooked. His faux self-deprecation becomes an intoxicant, putting her under a spell of hownormalcanimakemyselfseem just so he’ll give her a chance.

Basically, this is usually how this…

…happens

5. “I don’t know. I’ll try to fit you in, but I’m just really busy with a few projects right now”

Why it’s game: Ah, yes. The “super busy man” game. He’s super focused, man. This week alone he has 8 projects due, he’s studying for the LSAT’s, teaching a bartending class, attending a Bar Mitzvah, performing an exorcism, and releasing a line of urban professional lounge wear for midgets and new parolees. He’s getting his grind on, and he wishes he could make more time for you, but for now the Wendy’s drive thru and those 15 minutes in his parking lot will do. And, you’re ok with this because he’s a busy man, and it makes you feel even better that this important man is making any time in his busy schedule for you.

It’s game because no man on Earth has ever been that busy. Sh*t, even God had time to hit the strip club the night after he created trout. But, the super busy man knows nothing dries panties quicker than the thought of a needy man, so he gives the impression that he’s the complete antithesis. He could be free the entire weekend, but a well-timed “90 minutes just freed up for me Friday night. You down?” text to six different women will have them biting like Jennifer Freeman.

Anyway VSB.com, can you think of anything else men (and women) say (or do) when they’re just running game? Also, has anyone been gamed into doing something they probably wouldn’t have done otherwise?

Lastly, although this entry presented game in a somewhat negative light, is game a bad thing? Afterall, isn’t romance in general game in its highest form?

The floor is yours.

***Btw, if you get a chance, go over to Clutch Magazine and check out “How to Make Sistas Swoon”***

—The Champ

  • Anastasia!!!

    sigh

    • Anastasia!!!

      Teach me how to dougie!!! All dem snitches love me!!!

      AAAaaaaaay!!!!

    • bajanflchick

      *Congrats, you finally did it, no sighing needed* throws confetti and waits on someone else to cue music

      • YAYER

        Congrats Anastasia!

        *cue music*

        • YAYER

          meant to say ‘cues music’

          when will ya’ll put an edit button?

      • Anastasia!!!

        I’m 3hours behind you guys but yaaay!! Now I can move on in my vsb life!!! ;-)

  • Rog

    Maybe?

    • Rog

      :-( Sad Face

  • Rog

    Mrs. Freeman has been watching too much True Blood…….or Twilight……….or Vampire in Brooklyn.

    • Anita

      Or all the above. Didnt she just have a baby a couple of months ago?

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      She’s always had that “Lifetime Channel marathon” look in her eyes to me. Like, you can definitely imagine her committing a bunch of arsons on the homes of suspected rapists

  • santa monica

    Another great post!!! Biggest game line ever, “I’ve never flirted with you!”

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      Another great post!!! Biggest game line ever, “I’ve never flirted with you!”

      please expound. don’t know if i’ve heard about that one

      • Shay

        “I never flirted with you, we were just having a conversation.”

  • Beremore

    Im so mad I can’t ever get through the beginning of the post before I’m kilt D.E.A.D… “Boy approaches Girl while at National Gout Foundation fundraiser…” LOL!! really Champ? SMH

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      What? You don’t know about the annual Gout foundation boatride? Where you been?

      • k-steez

        Wow G….how is it that I didn’t even notice until reading Beremore’s comment. My brain straight read that as National Girl Scout foundation!!

    • Cali

      I damn near spit on my keyboard w/ that one, lolol

  • http://acford.blogspot.com A.C. Ford

    I’ve been gamed quite a bit in my youth. I’m a late-bloomer.

    I don’t like to play games. I’m bad at it, and it’s too time consuming. However, I think that some men are so used to women who play games that when they meet one who doesn’t, they think we’re uninterested or even worse, uninteresting.

    People who complain about potential partners who are playing the game are usually pretty advanced game-players themselves, in my experience.

    • http://presidentialtelevisionandfilm.ning.com Monk

      I think there’s a huge difference between running/spittin’ game and playing games. Playing games, of course, is a negative and has an immature connotation as oppose to running game or spittin’ game which is basically about the whole song and dance of relationships. It’s not necessarily exclusive to romantic relationships as in my dealings, people run game in many aspects of life. It’s kinda like a tactic to sell something. Doesn’t necessarily involve deceit, just one trying to sell themselves or a product.

      • oftenconfused

        Nice distinction between the two.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        I think there’s a huge difference between running/spittin’ game and playing games.

        good point. i’d say that the stuff I discussed today falls under the latter though.

        • Mo (VSS)

          It’s definitely game playing. I don’t know how many men have to do the whole “I’m not ready for a relationship” song and dance before we women wake up and realize that any time said man isn’t interested in said activity….he’s not interested in you any more than the next chick. Recognize game and choose your next move accordingly. Soooooo many women opt for the “dumb” role though and it’s depressing the have THIS convo every third Tuesday with the same female friend for years. Get a clue!

      • http://www.pinchmycheekie.blogspot.com Cheekie

        I co-sign this distinction. I think there’s something fun in the “game” of dating (i.e. the chase, etc), but playing games (especially with emotions) is an immature no-no.

    • http://counterfake.net KitKatCuty84

      I’m with you! Definitely a late bloomer. First serious relationship was in college and then straight afterward, moved to NYC, the GAME CAPITAL OF THE WORLD. I mean, what was I thinking? LOL. I’m at peewee level in terms of romance and now I’m trying to play with the Yankees?

      I got gamed SEVERAL TIMES, and got gamed BIG TIME (read: conned, literally folks). I was just too nice and accepting of people’s backgrounds, trying to see the good in all people.

      I’m OVER IT, LOL. I’m the opposite of what Champ listed now. Whereas most women were burned by men in their league so they go lower, I’ve been burned by men somewhat beneath me (is that snobby to say?) and will only go my level and higher. Like seriously.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        Whereas most women were burned by men in their league so they go lower, I’ve been burned by men somewhat beneath me (is that snobby to say?) and will only go my level and higher. Like seriously

        i’ve heard a few women say that before (basically, if all men are dogs anyway, you might as well date high status dogs than broke german shephards)

        there’s a joke in here somewhere, but i need to eat lunch first

        • http://counterfake.net KitKatCuty84

          You need your Wheaties to deliver an appropriate zinger? LOL. Aight, I’ll wait. ;)

          • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

            You need your Wheaties to deliver an appropriate zinger? LOL. Aight, I’ll wait. ;)

            actually, it was salmon and tea today

  • http://www.twitter.com/SCSilk Silk!

    Well, maybe this is why I’m single….because whenever a man says any of these lines to me, I walk away.

    I figured they meant it.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      smart woman.

      welcome and sh*t, btw

  • http://livelovelibra.blogspot.com L Boogie

    *sigh*

    Seems as if most of my interactions with dudes over the last year or so have all been game…*kicks trashcan*

    To answer the question, yeah I have been handed that game to stick around in situations I should’ve walked away from…oh well, I’m smarter for it now and know what not to fall for in the future…

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      Seems as if most of my interactions with dudes over the last year or so have all been game…*kicks trashcan*

      that’s what happens when you attend kappa boat rides

      • http://livelovelibra.blogspot.com L Boogie

        Oh HEYAL NAW! lol, Naw champ none of those for me…that’s not what’s hot in the streets…

  • http://www.shay-d-lady.com shay-d-lady

    those are great examples Champ.

    Who woulda thought you knew anything about game?

    anyway.
    I dont think game is a bad thing (well, not unless you fall for it…every single time), its natural, as a woman you have an agenda and so does he, as long as you recognize the “game” and play accordingly its a natural occurrence..

    the game I really hate is the lyfe jennings/neo soul male feminist game…
    ninja dont school me, school ya brethren… on some old.. see, men out here have trouble recognizing a good woman, like you, they dont know what to do when they come across top quality, you just gotta make sure you pick someone on your level…
    NINJA PLEASE….

    • BSQUARED86

      The neosoul game! You nailed it, lmao.

    • http://www.twitter.com/courtney_mcg Courtney (VSB)

      “woman you have an agenda and so does he, as long as you recognize the “game” and play accordingly its a natural occurrence..”

      Preach. Nothing wrong with a small caliber of gamesmanship if both parties are competitive. Keeps the dance interesting.

      Cause rest assured, the ladies run game as well…

    • http://thatswhatgemsaid.blogspot.com Gem of the Ocean

      lmao @ Who woulda thought you knew anything about game?

      wow. good one.

    • http://presidentialtelevisionandfilm.ning.com Monk

      @shay_d_lady,
      “I dont think game is a bad thing (well, not unless you fall for it…every single time), its natural,…”

      I concur. When it’s recognized, it’s cool in a way.

      “the game I really hate is the lyfe jennings/neo soul male feminist game…ninja dont school me, school ya brethren… on some old.. see, men out here have trouble recognizing a good woman…”

      Yeah, the hatin’ on the next man and blowing smoke up a woman’s ass has always been uncool.

    • http://twitter.com/naimafiasco TheTalentedMs.Fiasco

      I dislike Lyfe Jennings and I always felt out of the loop because that ninja annoys the hell out me for the reason you stated and every girl I know seems to be gaga for him. I’m like seriously? He seems like the kind of guy who reads poetry at poetry readings to get girls, but because he actually enjoys poetry. We alllll know that dude!

      I don’t really respond well to ninjas running game because my bullshit detector just won’t allow me to fall for it. The one thing i’ve been getting more recently is “you’re very mysterious” line. *shrugs* Flavor of the week maybe?

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        I don’t really respond well to ninjas running game because my bullshit detector just won’t allow me to fall for it

        you never know and sh*t

      • Mimi

        For some strange reason, whenever I see Lyfe Jennings on television, whether if it is on a music video or concert showing, I think of him as a “magic Negro”. He has the magic negro look going already: the shaggy/scraggly appearance, the guitar, that “whiskey and one pack of Newports a day” voice. All he needs is a harmonica and he is ready.
        Like if some movie director was looking for a black actor to portray a character that has magical powers and he aids a lot of 2520′s out of their problems, Lyfe Jennings could possibly be the perfect person. Not unless Will Smith or Michael Clarke Duncan isn’t busy…

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “those are great examples Champ. Who woulda thought you knew anything about game?”

      ah yes, another backhanded compliment from shay-d-lady. #signsitmustbetuesday

      • http://www.shay-d-lady.com shay-d-lady

        those are great examples Champ. Who woulda thought you knew anything about game?”

        ah yes, another backhanded compliment from shay-d-lady. #signsitmustbetuesday

        you love it tap!!

    • http://thecochranfirm.wordpress.com/2010/08/17/joke-of-the-day-1/ Dash of The Newport Dashers

      Common legion of female fans if proof that The Neo Soul game is effective. Any man who calls a woman who he first met queen is full of it. Royal designations must be earned.

      Women are also adept at using the Neo-Soul game. I have seen many a man hoodwinked and bamboozled by The Anhk.

    • http://capriciousdevotee.blogspot.com/ TheCapriciousD

      Yep…Ick.

      Save. It.

    • legitimate_soul

      Agreed to the fully on the neo-soul game and that all game is not created equal! I’d like to add Musiq Soulchild’s “We can just be cool, no pressure” frontin’ behind because if you was “friend” material he wouldn’t even be talkin’ to you or even noticed you. Game recognize game.

  • miss t-lee

    Yeah after I got hip to the “I’m so busy” game I started calling kats out on it. Telling them “yo’ azz ain’t that busy…stfu!”. Or, I would just peace out and play the busy game as well. Works both ways indeed. :-D That intimidating line is for the birds–after stating that dudes are usually given a jumbo eyeroll and an express ticket to voice mail heaven. I can’t.

    • RedBeanzNRice w/Smothered Pork Chops

      “yo’ azz ain’t that busy…stfu!”

      LMAO – I hope that ain’t your foreplay talk!

      • miss t-lee

        Haha, not quite. I’m just saying when you recognize it’s game, you have to make your point clear so they understand that you cannot be played.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        LMAO – I hope that ain’t your foreplay talk!

        lol, i can imagine a night with miss-t-lee just being filled with throat punches, side-eyes, and put downs. basically, it’s exactly like a comedy central roast

        • miss t-lee

          Love you too Champie…lmao

    • http://twitter.com/SmartFoxGirl SmartFoxGirl

      I love voice mail heaven lol

      • Yeah…So

        I dunno know voicemail always feels like heyll to me

      • miss t-lee

        LOL!!! Can’t take credit for that. It’s a lyric from Z-Ro “Call My Phone”. :) It’s so apt though.