Dating, Relationships, & Sex, Lists, Race & Politics, Theory & Essay

5 Black Women Every Black Man Has Dated

DSCN0693 DONE

Last week, the homie Demetria Lucas listed the “10 Guys Black Women From Anywhere May Actually Have Dated”—a response to a similar piece at the Washington Post that profiled “D.C. guys” but wasn’t very racially inclusive.

I was intrigued and amused by the list. But, since I don’t date Black men, I also felt excluded. I do have experience dating Black women though, so I decided to offer my own, sista-centric list.

And, considering that Demetria’s piece was a response to “The 10 D.C. Guys We’ve All Dated”, which was a response to “The 10 Best Cities for Single Women”, this a response to a response to a response. (Yes, that sentence gave me a nose bleed too.)

1. The Stealth Church Bomber

Everything between you two is going great. You sincerely laugh at her jokes, your boys like the idea of her, she’s great at making tea, and you have surprisingly efficient sex.

Well, you thought everything was going great…until she hits you with the stealth church bomb.

“I like you and all, but I can’t continue this relationship if we don’t establish a relationship with God and start going to church.”

“Wait, what?” you think to yourself, as your mind races back to the sex you two had in a Banana Republic dressing room seven minutes ago. “Where is this coming from? Since when are you a Christian?”

You even glance at your phone to check every email and text message from her to see if she ever even hinted at the words “Church” or “Christ” in any of your correspondence. Maybe she said something before, but you just didn’t notice.

Nope.

You don’t actually say any of this aloud, though, because you’re also a Christian, you’d also like to reestablish a relationship with God, and you ultimately realize her ultimatum is a good one. But, you just don’t appreciate having the God bomb dropped on you by someone whose only references to our savior in the time you’ve known them was when her legs were wrapped around your neck.

2. The Delta

You first suspect something is a little off when you notice her iPhone background image is a baby elephant. A very cute baby elephant, but an elephant nonetheless. Another silent alarm goes off the first time you enter her apartment as she asks you to take a seat on her elephant-shaped futon, which is directly adjacent to a coffee table prominently displaying three original prints of Babar the Elephant. Sitting on that table is a glass of water. After lifting it, you see that the glass features an elephant driving a pink Cadillac. You appreciate the kitsch.

While in her bed later that night, the silent alarm turns into a red flag after she pauses during fellatio, gets up, walks to her bedroom dresser, and carefully turns around each of the dozen or so tiny elephant figurines facing the bed.

As she gets back into bed, she explains:

“They can’t watch what’s about to happen.”

(Honorable Mention: The AKA)

3. The Ceaseless Selfie Shooter

At first glance, she seems normal. Sure, perhaps you thought she looked like she spends a bit too much time at Macy’s MAC counter, but you’re evolved enough to judge women on the content on their characters, not the colors of their awkwardly long eyelashes.

So, you get her number. And, when you see she’s requesting a Facebook add, you accept. Even if it doesn’t work out, you can never have too many Facebook friends, right?

Moments after you’ve accepted her add, you see that she just uploaded a new profile picture, featuring her smiling face while she’s standing next to a refrigerator.

“Cool” you think to yourself. “She must be happy about her new fridge.”

An hour later, she uploads another new profile picture, featuring her smiling face while she’s sitting on an off-white futon.

“Hmm” you think to yourself. “I guess she went on a shopping spree last weekend.”

15 minutes later, she uploads another new profile picture, featuring her smiling face while she’s standing in front of an immaculate toilet.

“Damn” you think to yourself. “Is she just photoshopping her face in front random household appliances? Is this a new fetish? Kinky! I likes!”

After this happens four more times in the next hour, you realize you’re dating a ceaseless selfie shooter. Since she looks exactly the same in each of the 27 profile pics she uploaded todayyou’re not sure if she’s creating a piece of performance art or is just a raging narcissist, but you do know you’ll have to block her because 50% of your total newsfeed is comprised of her standing in front of shower curtains and empty doghouses.

4. Ms “All Of My Friends Are Already Dating White Guys, And I’m Probably Next”

It’s very hard to pinpoint any characteristics distinguishing these women from others. They look, sound, smell, and taste just like any other Black women you’ll meet. But, there’s just something about them that lets you know you’re likely the last brotha standing between them and something new. And, by “something new” I mean “someone named Philip.”

You even tell her during the first date that you assumed she had a White boyfriend. When she asks “Why?” you shrug your shoulders and shove some calamari in your mouth.

She’s a Kobe fan and you have a soul, so you both know it’s not going to work out. But while you don’t have a problem with her—or anyone!—dating and marrying “out,” you also don’t want to go down in her history as the last Black man she ever dated. (Why? Well, there might be a list somewhere that names the last Black guy each of the Black women married to White men dated. If it exists, I don’t want to be on it.)

So, you stay with her until she gets frustrated and cheats on you with an Asian woman. Not the best outcome, but at least you won’t be on the list.

5. The Manic Pixie Black Girl

You’re drawn to her because she’s not like the women you usually date. She smokes weed everyday, has deep conversations with squirrels, dresses like a genie, and has inspired you to appreciate colors and shit in a way you never did before. You’re even turned on by her cute little shoplifting habit. Basically, she’s the character Lisa Bonet plays in every movie.

But, the manic pixie dream-ness starts getting old the third or fourth time she yells at you for being “angry at her couch,” and her complete disdain for rules, order, and consistent hygiene will have you yearning to be back at the Thai-centric brunches with your Bougie Black soulmates.

That’s it for me, but I’m sure you all can do better. People of VSB, which women (and men) also need to be on this list?

 —Damon Young (aka “The Champ”)

Filed Under: ,
Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a contributing editor for EBONY.com. He resides in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes.

  • http://awordorthree.com/ A Word or Three

    Usually, it is men that create category #4, not women ourselves. Most of the Black women I know who date White men never made an active choice to do so… it just happened. Furthermore, we are usually annoyed when Black men say things to us like “I assumed you had a White boyfriend.” :)

    Of the Black women I know who date White men… they date White men because that’s who approaches them, not because they are giving Black men the cold shoulder. They also usually have natural hair.

    • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

      Struck a nerve?

      • http://awordorthree.com/ A Word or Three

        Hahah. As a Cali resident, and interracial dater, I see us get a lock of flack and I get a lot of flack. Someone has to stand up for us. Tis all. :)

        • LMNOP

          Well, when life gives you a lot of flack, make flax seed cookies.

    • JayIzUrGod

      There still exists Black women who choose to date a White Man because she has gained a healthy hatred towards Black Men..we can’t pretend that isn’t real. I’m glad there is an opposite though, that date whoever they want because that’s what they choose, not as some sort of vendetta

      • HarteeHarHar

        Ugh, and there exists black men who choose to a date white woman for the same reasons. If you can’t quantify these individuals then why entertain their ignorance? To me if you can find black women and black men who do this then they cancel each other out and it is a moot point.

        • JayIzUrGod

          Um, what is your problem? You’re responding to my posts as if I’m saying something wrong. I’m simply speaking on the topic at hand. I know what stupid things men do, I post about it all the time whenever we have m”men are idiots” as a topic. So are you going to be doing this all day or can we carry on like adults?

          • HarteeHarHar

            “Um, what is your problem?…So are you going to be doing this all day or can we carry on like adults?”

            First, I see what you did right there: the equivalent of white people telling a black person no matter the tenor of a discussion to calm down or not to get upset. There was nothing in my sole post to this that was not adult-like, save for the “ugh.” And if “ugh” makes you break down into full white girl crocodile tears that’s between you and your psychotherapist.

            My point is that these infinitesimal number of black women/men who date outside of their race due a to a “healthy” hatred of their opposite gender racial counterparts receive outsized attention. And I’d say the same if there was a list focusing on black men who date out because they “hate” black women. If 90-plus% of married black women have black husbands, of the less than 10% who have non-black spouses how many do figure have a “healthy” hatred of black men? And why does that sliver deserve my, yours and the entire black community’s psycho-analysis? What is to be gained by studying these women? Furthermore, black women who hate black men fails at being a distinguishing character analysis if there are black men who do the same thing. It’s as lazy as citing black men have dated black women who lie.

            • JayIzUrGod

              The mere fact that you went out of your way to type that long speech of staticial and analytic nonsense is problem #1. Then secondly, to assume what my stance is just because you don’t like my tone of font is problem# 2. Let me help you here.

              my post did nothing more than mention the bad side of the spectrum but I still pointed out how much I appreciated the good, yet in your haste to throw out faulty logic, you neglected to read that part. Next you compare me to a white person telling a black person to calm down, but its not my fault your comprehension skills aren’t up to snuff or that you need to use sarcasm to make a rebuttal…especially a rebuttal that wasn’t necessary.

              Alas, if you think you’re in the right, then go on and do what you do. But this was nothing more for me than something to do while I was on the toilet. Appreciate the activity though.

              • HarteeHarHar

                Absolutely nothing related to what I’ve stated. Incoherent mess.

                • JayIzUrGod

                  Mmmhmm.

      • http://TheNewEve.com/ Bunni

        I’m sure that deep down, somewhere in the recesses of my feelings, I am drawn to white women just to piss my mama off lol…loves me some snowbunnies and that is allllllright :-)

        • JayIzUrGod

          Here here! Family revenge is sooooo awesome!

    • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com/ Tristan

      theres some connection between white guys and natural haired sistas no one knows quite what it is, but its there

      • Rachmo

        White men are fascinated by natural hair. It’s basically a White man magnet.

        • BreezyX2

          Correction: All White men no matter their age are fascinated by natural hair ask me how I know…

          *PA snickers*

          • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

            How do you know?

            *taps fingers like Breezy*

            • BreezyX2

              You will be the last one I tell.
              *gives PA a taste of his own medicine*

              • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

                *tickles Breezy*

                • BreezyX2

                  *fixes clothes* STOP!!!!!!!! I love hate being tickled.

                • http://TheNewEve.com/ Bunni

                  tickling me has ended relationships. I HATE it lol…I will reach for a remote, phone, lamp, anything to get someone to stop lol

                  • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

                    *tickles Bunni just for the fun of it*

                    • http://TheNewEve.com/ Bunni

                      my ex bf tickled me and i went into a fit of rage, laughing and screaming “i hate you and everything you stand for….dieeeee!!!” lmao

          • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

            Lots of White women too. They, historically, are the ones drawing back nubs after putting their unsolicited hands in the hair of unsuspecting Black women.

      • The Champ

        “theres some connection between white guys and natural haired sistas no one knows quite what it is”

        there seems to be some natural commonalities between the type of white man who’d marry a black woman and the type of black woman who’d have natural hair. both tend to be a bit more artsy, liberal, and urban than usual, so they probably see each other at the same type of events (gallery crawls, fundraisers, etc) and develop relationships through their common interests

        • h.h.h.

          The DiBlasio Effect??

          • Todd

            *shots fired* Hey…the de Blasio effect might make him our next mayor. If it works for him…

            • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

              Meh. Most politicians use their families as props while running for office. Why should he be any different.

              • h.h.h.

                i mean, they’ve been married a minute Val…

                but Quinn was the early frontrunner for the primary, then Weiner, …

                all DiBlasio did was put his son on that Summer Jam screen per se…and it’s essentially been his primary to lose…from what the surveys show

                • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

                  I’m not criticizing him. I’m commenting on the criticism he’s been getting about the spots on TV with his son, etc. I think the whole thing has been overblown.

                  • 321mena123

                    I agree with this. I read an article about them a few months back. It seemed that he just fell in love.

                • 321mena123

                  I thought they were married for like 20 years. I don’t understand it when people assume that who you marry is for political reasons. Who you marry, in general, should be someone that is going to uplift and push you to be the greatest person you can be. They should definitely be there to help you spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and even professionally. Why is it, when politics get involved, marrying someone that is smart, assertive, doesn’t fit the mold, is suddenly done for political reasons.

                  • h.h.h.

                    “Why is it, when politics get involved, marrying someone that is smart, assertive, doesn’t fit the mold, is suddenly done for political reasons.”

                    because of the Clintons?

                    i mean how many wives take an active role outside of the husband’s political career?

                    i mean…i don’t know the candidates (not my county) so i don’t know Mr. DiB’s backstory…i give the benefit of the doubt tho..you meet someone you bond with? in the same general field? and y’all like each other? maseltov?

                    that being said, i’m sure the Mrs. DiB saw his ambition, and liked it, along with his other traits, and i’m sure Mr. DiB liked her personality traits as well

      • http://awordorthree.com/ A Word or Three

        It is loved and appreciated for the most part. To be fair, they haven’t necessarily been conditioned in the same way that Black folks have to believe that straight is right, like my (God bless them) older aunties and grandmothers taught me.

    • Todd

      Hey, if I had a dollar for every time someone on VSB assumed I married a White woman, I could pay off these student loans. I know that struggle all too well.

      Still, White men tend to check for the most Blacker-Than-Black women around. They aren’t checking for the ol’ reg’lar chick on the creamy crack. LOL

  • Jay

    4 is the new 5.

    • Yoles

      nah 5 is 5…. white men, black men, latin men all love the MPDG she doesn’t have to leave her race alone because she is never lacking for a date… #noshots

      i resent the hints at poor hygiene and schizophrenia though….

      i stay clean and with my head in the clouds but clean nonetheless… i haven’t seen any example of the MPDG that was lacking in hygiene!!!!! hmpf

      • LMNOP

        What IS a manic pixie dream girl? I’ve seen that phrase before but I have no idea what it means… from this it sounded a lot like crazy.

        • http://TheNewEve.com/ Bunni
        • Yoles

          champs description wasn’t nice…

          as per the internet

          “that bubbly, creature that exists solely in the fevered imaginations of sensitive writer-directors to teach broodingly soulful young men to embrace life and its infinite mysteries and adventures.”

          MPDGs are usually static characters who have eccentric personality quirks and are unabashedly girlish. They invariably serve as the romantic interest for a (most often brooding or depressed) male protagonist. An example is Natalie Portman’s character in the movie Garden State, written and directed by Zach Braff.[1][2][4]

          Rabin points to Katharine Hepburn’s character in Bringing Up Baby (1938) as one of the earliest examples of the archetype[citation needed]; later examples include Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany’s,[5] Goldie Hawn’s characters in Cactus Flower and Butterflies Are Free,[5] and Barbra Streisand’s in What’s Up, Doc.[3][2] Zooey Deschanel’s roles in (500) Days of Summer and Yes Man have also typified the MPDG

          basically fun loving, free spirited, girlish, enchanting chicks that dudes dig because she is tolerably crazy in a cute way… and FUN

          • LMNOP

            Thanks! I’ve seriously seen that phrase and wondered wtf it meant at least 5 times and it never occurred to me to google it.

          • h.h.h.

            because i never heard of this, and i’ve never seen the movies you’ve listed, i had to look this up on tvtropes..

            closest characters that i know about this, that exemplify this would be Ariel, (Disney’s the Little Mermaid), Harley Quinn (for Joker), Suzumiya Haruhi, and probably the best example would be Penny in the Big Bang Theory

    • The Champ

      Lol.

  • http://vagabondaesthetics.tumblr.com/ Ricky

    Not enough granola bars in this post.

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

      I had no idea this was Malik. I just realized that looking at your avatar. Why did you change your name, man?

      • http://vagabondaesthetics.tumblr.com/ Ricky

        It was originally Madlark when they switched over the Disquos and I just changed it to Ricky because that’s what Yolie calls me (one of my other names is Enrique).

        • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

          I like Enrique better.

          • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

            What about Malique????

            • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

              That’s his original name. I was selecting from one of his new names.

            • LMNOP

              Oooh I like Malique.

        • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

          I was just getting used to calling you Madlark- stop changing your name! LOL!

        • Yoles

          I am partial to Enrique… I think Ricky is cute… onetime for those with numerous names!!!!!

    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

      You need to give me credit for the granola mama Africa reference *side eye*

      • http://vagabondaesthetics.tumblr.com/ Ricky

        Credit to you for suggesting that my type is granola mama Africa women.

      • JayIzUrGod

        Somebody give her credit and a gold star. She is on her grind right now.

    • kidvideo

      We call’um “Badu’s” round my way.

  • nillalatte

    I’ll come back to the topic at hand, hopefully, later. Meanwhile, did you guys see that game today?! TITANS over the Steelers once again? WUT? Wasn’t someone here a Steelers fan? Sucka’s. lol

    • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

      I’m glad your team won, Nilla. My Giants looked like they were on Prozac tonight.

      • nillalatte

        49er’s did well too. Kap! < He so cute. :D

        • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

          I HATE the darn Niners! I can’t believe they won because the refs screwed up.

          • nillalatte

            Be easy my boy now.

            • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

              I actually like Kaepernick. In fact I’d be a Niner’s fan but they did their former coach really wrong. I hate how much credit the current coach gets for the team’s success. Mike Singletary is responsible for turning the team around but Harbough gets all the credit.

        • Sahel

          Corner..groupie behavior was banned

      • Keisha

        I agree…GO COWBOYS! :-)

        • BreezyX2

          Keisha: I think a few of the Texas peeps (Miss-T and Tx10) are gonna get you for this.

      • Shamira

        dont remind me of last nights game. I’m about to go grab my pitchfork and find David Wilson.

    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

      My team ain’t win and I’m so salty about it because everyone wanted them to lose in the first place -___-

      • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

        That was a good game though.

        • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

          NO! *throws Panthers coffee mug at the wall* I was so mad at Deangelo for that fumble. My phone has a dent in it because of him.

          • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

            I know how you feel. The Giants turned it over 6 times tonight.

            • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

              Oh gawd. I was up in my feelings for about 5 hours after that so I turned off the tv. I’ll catch the massacre of everyone else in the morning.

              • nillalatte

                My mental pic of you guys watching the games.

                • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                  I’m a very aggressive game watcher.

                  • Sahel

                    I dont know why,but i like this statement.

      • Sahel

        Told you about them Panthers

        • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

          Defense had Wilson on lock the entire game though so I’m not too mad with them but Olsen?! You drop two PERFECT passes *throws more Panthers nalia at the wall and flings self over ottoman*

          • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

            I couldn’t believe how short Wilson is. He’s only 5′ 11″. How can he even see over the line?

            • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

              Bwahahaha well he seems to be doing just fine even at that “short” height lol

            • http://vagabondaesthetics.tumblr.com/ Ricky

              Short ninjas doin it big!

        • http://daratmathis.wordpress.com/ dtafakari

          Nobody EVER has to tell a Panthers fan about them Panthers. They already know…toooooo well. lol.

    • Rachmo

      I’m a Steelers fan and am sooooo salty. I mean field goals…SIGH

    • The Champ

      “TITANS over the Steelers once again? WUT? Wasn’t someone here a Steelers fan? Sucka’s. lol”

      you trying to get banned?

  • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

    I wish I had a quarter for for each incident of Champ throwing shade at Deltas. I’d have lunch money for a year. Lol.

    I have a fb friend who takes the same exact selfie every single day! I don’t know if he’s just never satisfied with the shot and is trying to perfect it or what. But it’s both hilarious and annoying.

    If you think dating a stealth church bomber is strange for you, Champ, imagine being a lesbian and dating one. Oh the equivocation.

    • Jay

      Dat forehead tho…

    • nillalatte

      *giggles at all that

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

      “If you think dating a stealth church bomber is strange for you, Champ, imagine being a lesbian and dating one. Oh the equivocation.”

      They have stealth church bomber lesbians?

      Aroo??!!

      • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

        Most Black folks spend at least their formative years in the church. Lesbians are no different. So, some of them stick around in adulthood despite the obvious hate from the pulpit. Then many make excuses for the church or just pretend there’s no hostility. You know, like Black Republicans.

        • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

          You just had to take a shot at Black Republicans, didn’t you? LOL!

          • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

            I thought it would illustrate my point better including them. :-)

        • JayIzUrGod

          What I don’t understand about the stealth church bomber is how they have the audacity to exclaim you aint built to be on their team if you don’t love church like they do. Cause I never met a soul who loved church without being brain washed as a child or someone who was such a f*ck up in life that they got sold on any message that made them feel like they were part of a group.

          • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

            I don’t know if I agree that all church folk are brainwashed or screw ups. I mean Episcopalians seem okay. Lol. But, I agree that church bombers are a curious bunch.

            • JayIzUrGod

              I’m saying that’s my experience. I think some people have legit reasons to give themselves to a religion, but aside from older heads doing it out of tradition, I HAVE NOT HEARD A GOOD REASON. Any explanation always sounded like garbage to me, and if I poked long enough, I always got some traumatic story that involved people being screw ups.

            • 321mena123

              I’m an Episcopalian. We obviously missed the memo to be hateful and judging of others.

              • LMNOP

                It’s in code. You have to read exactly every 31st letter of the bible (ignoring the ones that don’t fit the message your looking for, of course).

          • h.h.h.

            “Cause I never met a soul who loved church without being brain washed as a
            child or someone who was such a f*ck up in life that they got sold on
            any message that made them feel like they were part of a group.”

            Good Evening… i’m HHH. lol.

        • The Champ

          “So, some of them stick around in adulthood despite the obvious hate from the pulpit.”

          you know, i’ve heard people talk about church in these terms before, but I have yet to see it myself. All of the churches I’ve attended—including the one I just joined—seem to be very inclusive.

          • Todd

            In the larger cities, YMMV, because I’ve seen a lot of churches from all over the spectrum. But yeah, there are some churches on that BS, and this may or may not include my in-laws.

          • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

            You’re been choosing good churches apparently. But, trust me, non-inclusive churches aren’t hard to find.

        • panamajackson

          That has to be awkward on so many levels. And Meek Mill teaches us that there are levels to this sh*t.

          • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

            It is awkward and frustrating. Also, that Meek Mill reference went waaaaay over my head.

    • JayIzUrGod

      I know nothing about Deltas. I just hate sororities & fraternities because I don’t believe in unity by clubs.

      However..if you rep your squad, just make sure your squad makes sense. How can I take you seriously when you hate every woman in your sorority but when they come around, yall act like yall shared the same womb? Can’t do it.

      • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

        Why do you think sorority members hate each other?

        • Sahel

          They keep stealing each others bras ?

          • kidvideo

            and boyfriends…

        • JayIzUrGod

          My time at Howard helped me come to that conclusion for some people.

        • Rachmo

          They do

        • Keisha

          For a lot reasons…some never get over the hazing they experienced at the hands of other members, interest in same guys, judgment from other sorors over some “less than lady-like” activities, etc….or so I’ve heard. :-)

      • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

        Unity clubs? smh

        • JayIzUrGod

          The tagline for sororities and fraternities is sisterhood and brotherhood. I have a hard time believing life long bonds are made by being selected to join a group. Not saying I’m not wrong, but every person from a sorority or fraternity that I’ve spoken to just felt fake and unoriginal.

          • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

            ok

          • 321mena123

            I don’t know. Black frats and sororities seem like they are for life. The white ones just view it as a college activity.

            • JayIzUrGod

              Perhaps. I don’t really understand it but clearly its.what some people.strive for.

              • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

                Black Greek organizations are founded on service to the community. Which I think makes them different from White organizations. And, since service is at the core of Black Greek life that means that most members continue to be active after college.

          • Todd

            Eh…maybe it’s the diff b/t a HBCU and a PWI, but I have seen a gamut of frat types. Some are really fake, and some bond very well. It’s like any other crew of friends, except they’re a bit more formal about it.

            • JayIzUrGod

              Well I just know what I’ve seen. I’m sure there are some life long bonds in some of the groups and I respect that. I’m just not used to seeing positive unity without fake sentiment behind it.

              • ForeverCC

                It’s really no different than any other group of people – be it a football team, church members, people who wear blue on Tuesdays…some of the people will like each other genuinely, and some of the people DON’T (but act “right” in front of company so the task at hand gets done).

      • kidvideo

        I was in a high school frat…if I’d gone to a real college I wouldn’t have joined any…one a@@ whoppin’ is enough for me.

        • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

          Key Club ain’t a frat. :-)

          • kidvideo

            Lol…I don’t know what that means.

        • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

          And, also, Hiya, Kid Vid!

          *waves*

          • kidvideo

            Hey Lady V….
            *manly wave*

        • JayIzUrGod

          For ransom dudes to touch me and pull pranks on me for any kind of reason just so I can try out for their club, nah…ill be going to jail instead.

    • Todd

      “If you think dating a stealth church bomber is strange for you, Champ,
      imagine being a lesbian and dating one. Oh the equivocation.”

      And Val starts off with an excellent early effort to shut down the comments. Useful shot, Val. Useful shot!

      I got one better for you though: meeting a stealth church bomber AT A SWING PARTY. Like having gospel music ringtones that sound out after she just got her back blown out by 4 different dudes not her husband. Say what you will about the approval or disapproval of homosexuality in the Bible. I don’t think there’s any part that’s somehow PRO-adultery. :)

      • Yoles

        i swear i read something the other day about a christian swingers website… because you want to share with like minded people…

        they say the marriage bed is undefiled….

        • BriA

          Yep, I think it’s christianswinger.com. As Christians, who are we to judge married people who wants to get their swing on. O__o I think people have took this whole “only God can judge me” thing to mean they can do whatever they want to do and no one has the right to think any less of them.

          • 321mena123

            Most people are chexual freaks and need to get with like minded people. The hypocrisy is what gets me. Do you but don’t you dare go around and judge b/c you loath yourself.

        • Todd

          I saw that site. I guess it was the next step after Christian BDSM. At least with Christian BDSM, I can somewhat get it. After all, while they preach martial fidelity, they don’t mandate how it’s practiced on a day-to-day basis, and there’s nothing in the Bible against (or for, for that matter) BDSM. Swinging is a whole, ‘nother other. Even polygamy is Bible A-OK, but random dudes to dig out? Nah son.

          • Yoles

            its NOT random dudes… its like minded people sharing Todd!! stop judging… lol

          • LMNOP

            I mean, there is all that stuff in the bible about how wives should submit to their husbands. I can kind of see how people could take that and run with it until it is pretty much bdsm.

            • Todd

              Very true…that’s why I can see how BDSM can go there. Like I said though, I missed the different people outside of your marriage being invited in.

      • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

        I guess when most people think about Christians they think of the hardcore ones. But, at the other end of the Christian spectrum Christian swingers exist.

      • Tentpole

        Come on Todd, that’s why they have Gospel Happy Hour and Kirk Franklin

      • LMNOP

        Wow.

    • BriA

      We must have the same fb friend. lol This guy I follow posts the same back, front, and side selfie in a collage. At the gym. Every day. In case we ever forgot he works out, he makes it a point to remind us. -__-

      • The Champ

        “We must have the same fb friend. lol This guy I follow posts the same back, front, and side selfie in a collage. At the gym. Every day. In case we ever forgot he works out, he makes it a point to remind us”

        I think we all have the same friend. If you don’t have that friend, the friend is you.

    • ForeverCC

      I laugh every time Champ throws in a Delta reference. I then secretly wish he has a daughter to pledge Delta at a PWI. lol #oo-oop

  • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

    Uh…yeah…before I go any further, I just want to get this out of the way:
    GENDER WARZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Okay, now that I got that out of my system, there is one group of women to add to the list of type of woman that every man has dated (myself included). However, since it is one that would be deemed as controversial being that it would indict 65% percent of the female posters here.
    If you are a dude, then you know the type that I’m speaking of…
    If you are a woman, then…well…you know… LMAO!!!!
    And that is my blind item for today (Doing this Diary Of A Hollywood Street KIng style!!!)

    • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

      *cough* *chicken* *cough*

      • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

        *cough* *leg of lamb* *cough*

        • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

          Come on, PA, what’s the other type woman?

          • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

            As much as I want to, I can’t say due to the demographics and the nature of the post. Let’s just say the mindset is present and pervasive, even though it comes through in spurts.

            • http://TheNewEve.com/ Bunni

              booooooooooooooooo *throws tomatoes* speak your mind Smelvin Van Peebles!!

              • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist
                • http://TheNewEve.com/ Bunni

                  hehehehehehe I live for Consuela

              • SuperStrings

                Dang I thought I was Smelvin Van Peebles. Now I see you say that to all the guys… lol

                • http://TheNewEve.com/ Bunni

                  I can make you Strike Lee cuz you dew the right thang

                  #BadPickupLineQuotaMET

                  • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

                    *dirty joke alert*

            • Rachmo

              Tell em’ why you mad

              • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

                Nah, I was already labeled as mad when I spoke my mind several times before. Ironically, it was the angry ones who called me mad, LOL! So this one I’m going to leave to the imagination.

                *disappears into the shadows*

    • Sahel

      P.A,careful now. You dont want to start a sandstorm mate

      • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

        So…you know it too, huh? LOL!

    • JayIzUrGod

      Edward Snowden is less cryptic than you, seriously.

      • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

        Not even- I think he’s got me beat, LOL! He works for the U.S. government!

        • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

          You know, at first I was a Snowden fan. Then I thought he was a traitor. And, now I’m a fan again.

          • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

            For some reason when I look at him and hear his name, this is the first thing to come to my mind, LOL!

            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtILxBszyf8

            • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

              Lol. Yeah, he does sort of look like Snow.

              • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

                And he’s an informer for real, LMAO!!!

            • kidvideo

              When MTV ran this video back in tha day…they put in subtitles at the bottom of the screen…I think it was a first…a licky boom boom down.

            • HRH Prince Farouk I

              Hahahaah dude! A licky boom boom down. Hands down the worst patois in history, I thought homeboi was speaking in tongues back in the day.

              • Yoles

                i thought he was saying “a lick ya boom boom down” meaning a$$ kicking

                some half jah i am…
                *hangs head

                • Kema

                  I was trying to figure out why he was licking the informer.

            • Todd

              Hey, that’s a good one! I’m laughing my tail off here!

        • JayIzUrGod

          Please, even in a North Korean prison camp, you’d give no info up if if would piss off women!

          • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

            LMAO!!!!

            Yo Rewind, all I’ll say is this:

            Remember the story about Chicken Little?

            That’s how I feel about some people on here when the post of the day centers around love and relationships.

            • JayIzUrGod

              Maaan f*ck all that. I don’t aim to start flame wars but if I don’t piss off at least one reader per day, I’m not on my job.

              Besides typing a bunch of angry font, what can they honestly do? If you don’t feed me, f*ck me, or pay my bills, exactly how much power do you hold over me? Usually that answer is none, so I choose not to censor myself.

              • Yoles

                word up… i say what i want…

                yall can’t beat me!

                PA needs to let go and say what he feels

                • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

                  I’d have no problem doing it, but then I would be banned, LMAO!!!

                  • BreezyX2

                    Yoles, Bunni, Afro, Kema, Val, Aly…someone who is very creative with the various ways to spell those special words, please post some for PA so he can finally tell us the full story.

                    • Yoles

                      i tend to use high brow synonyms…

                      coitus
                      hades
                      excrement
                      etc…

                      take it away PA

                    • http://TheNewEve.com/ Bunni

                      chex, dyck, love box, boxer sausage, dew me, dew yew, bew, heaux, birday secks, etc

                      imagination is power!!

                    • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                      pu.dussy
                      snatch
                      yoni
                      supercalafragalisticexpialidocious

                    • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

                      I’ll have you know that I am no expert on stuff like that. All I know about such is what I learned here at VSB from Yolie, AP and Bunni. :-)

              • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

                I’ve seen cats gets shot down for their opinion on anything related to relationships- for no other reason than them being dudes. And the worst part is that the people shooting them down are attacking them even when they had nothing to do with them being brokenhearted.

                Whenever I see this done by a woman in real life, the first thing I say is this:

                “Maybe you need a date with BOB”, LMAO!!

                • JayIzUrGod

                  I hear you. There is a time and place for everything, and you don’t always know what people are thinking, but as I said if someone chooses to go HAM on me because I said something they didn’t like when they know nothing about me, what does that say about them?

                  I’ve had people say the most horrible things to my face and I respect them.for that, but online thuggin and talking sh*t behind computer. That’s a negative captain.

            • LMNOP

              You feel like the sky is falling?

    • h.h.h.

      “Any takers?”

      1) Single Mothers

      2) Aka’s

      3) feminists/womanists

      4) bandwagon NFL fans

      • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

        Hey…you said it, not me…
        *points at H.H.H. and quietly walks out the door*

      • Guest

        Plenty of women who aren’t into sports are bandwagon NFL fans lol It’s easier to just hop onto whatever team your man likes than to be stuck hating each other because you’re a loyal fan who cannot, in good conscience, ever allow yourself to support the Patriots.

        • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com/ Tristan

          patriots did nothing to you tho

          • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

            The Patriots have harmed everyone in some way.

        • Todd

          #BostonSucks Seriously, why is it that all my favorite teams have to compete against that elitist, low-key racist and f*cking cold city that is Boston? We deserve better!

          • SuperStrings

            The racism definitely isn’t low-key in Boston.

      • Sahel

        What do womanists stand for

        • kidvideo

          Not the toilet…
          *rimshot*

          • Sahel

            ‘Hands the the poster of the week award to kidvideo”

            • kidvideo

              I’m here all week…tickets still available.

        • h.h.h.

          long story, but womanists are more inclusive of women not of the majority (white female WASP) viewpoint…while feminists do make progress and fight for women’s rights, a lot do not take into consideration alternative viewpoints of women, for multiple reasons, so another movement sprung up.

          (this is, of course, from my viewpoint as an evil male)

    • Yoles

      I am so weary of ur half a$$ posts… say it son…

      • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

        Love you like a play cousin, but you know this one could start something, right? LOL!

        • http://TheNewEve.com/ Bunni

          Its Monday. Give us something to keep us awake!

          http://youtu.be/4Uj3zitETs4

          • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

            Now see…there you go with that, LOL!

        • Yoles

          this is an open forum… we share… sometimes agree and other times disagree but what is the use of starting something you are not going to finish… so what if people don’t agree with you?!?!

          type it wit yo chest

          • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

            “type it wit yo chest”

            You first…

            *Muttley snicker*

            • Yoles

              i already did

              nips UP

              • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

                Oooohhhh…kinky, LMAO!!!

                Nah, but in all seriousness, I saw men as a whole get thrown under the bus by some women due to them having a bad experience with one. Originally there was a few, but then it spiraled into several doing it.

                Now maybe it’s just me, but if a man did this at a women-oriented site (Which they have, by the way), it would have been considered trolling. However, I’ve seen quite a few members of the fairer s*x do it here and it went either unnoticed or unchecked.

                People need to understand that if you are trying to hurt someone just because you were hurt, it’s only going to do nothing but make you hurt even worse.

                Griping and bellyaching about what one man did to you won’t help and throwing all men under the bus because of what that one man did won’t solve anything either.

                They may see it as trying to right a wrong, but in the eyes of me and all other men, we see it as a cry for help- and possibly much more than that…

                *waits for anyone to come after me with a problem*

                • http://TheNewEve.com/ Bunni

                  No attack. I agree. Bring it in for a group hug **pulls PA close to my busom**

                  • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

                    *rests my head on Bunni’s bosoms*

                    • Sahel

                      Suck up

                • Rachmo

                  OH REALLY PA REALLY? No I’m kidding I’ve seen it too. My solution is to stop going to The Park looking for “the One.”

                  • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

                    You mean the park as in “where they walk the dogs” or The Park where the righteous women get low?

                    *said in Common’s voice*

                    • Rachmo

                      The Park at 14th in DC. Where indeed the righteous women get low.

                • Yoles

                  this is the big reveal????????? b*tches got baggage and don’t know how to handle it??????
                  yes its true many times but i would be remiss to not say i am a lil disappointed…. i was expecting FIRE/BOMBS

                  • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

                    It was much more graphic than that, but I had to edit it and tone it down for Disqus, as they seem to moderate you over anything, LMAO!

                  • The Champ

                    “this is the big reveal????????? b*tches got baggage and don’t know how to handle it??????”

                    have to say, I was underwhelmed as well

                    • h.h.h.

                      “have to say, I was underwhelmed as well”

                      that’s what she said, unfortunately :(

                  • LMNOP

                    Yeah, seriously I just read through all of this and I’m disappointed too. Sometimes hurt people can’t handle relationships is going to start gender wars?? That’s not even going to start like a kindergarten level gender war. So I will start the kindergarten level gender wars for you.

                    Boys have cooties!!

                    • h.h.h.

                      i think PA is speaking in rather general tones.

                      if he were more specific, it would hit home a little harder and fema..err..”those that are not male” would take umbrage and set pitchforks to him like this is twitter

                    • Rachmo

                      fema..err..”those that are not male”- hahahaha

                    • h.h.h.
  • Sahel

    “Looks at post,sees nothing to add. Heads back into the VSB broom closet to continue watching Graceland while getting nursed by Yoles’

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

      *pulls Sahel back in*

      I got a list of types to give you so you won’t feel left out:

      *hands Sahel the list*

      Preacher’s daughter
      Aggressive woman
      College girls
      Suburban chicks

      • helga_g

        That list sounds like one woman

      • Rachmo

        That is one person. ME :-D

    • JayIzUrGod

      Sell me on Graceland. It’s not working for me.

      • Sahel

        I cant. It is my holdover show until White Collar returns

        • JayIzUrGod

          I’ve never gotten into that show either but I will give it a shot.

    • Yoles

      U r NOT even sick… get back outside with everyone else!!!!! Nursing is for the needy…

      • BreezyX2

        Yoles: You and me both!!! He is like the person that calls you at 8 am to say “Gurllllllllllllllllllllll I gat something to telllllllllllllll youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu but I am going to call you at 7pm” O____O Seriously!!!!!!!!

        • Yoles

          yup.. just like the chick that tells you “don’t look now” and makes sure that by the time you can look what you were supposed to be seeing is long gone…

          or the chick above that calls and tells you that she can’t talk now but she got a story to tell…

          these are people i just wanna pile drive or figure four lock or tombstone or something!!!

    • Michelle

      (let’s out a huge Lewis Skolnick chortle)

  • iamnotakata

    Why the shade for the Deltas? But how about the aspiring everything type person, they don’t have a set career but they are forever grinding to become one or all of the following and so forth i.e. rapper, actor,model…

    • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

      There are definitely a lot of aspiring models out there.

      • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

        Instagram has taken this “grind” to a new level.

        • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

          Truest statement of the year.

        • Sahel

          Hey,hey,Instagram is the best thing to happen since myspace. Let the models be

        • Rachmo

          +1,000,000

      • kidvideo

        More like aspiring escorts during All Star Weekend….

    • JayIzUrGod

      Ugh. Internet models. Remember when Myspace was popping and every page was clogged with amateur modeling pics,then the girl is wondering why everyone is sending her d*ck pics in her inbox? And no one learned their lesson yet.

      • kidvideo

        No one remembers when Myspace was popping…you might as well ask, “Remember when pagers was popping”?

        • http://missrosen.wordpress.com/ esa

          i remember pagers ~*~

          • kidvideo

            I bet you remember cassette tapes too…my fav was the “purple tape”.

            • http://missrosen.wordpress.com/ esa

              fukk yeaa ~ yesterday my girl gave me a Moleskine with a cassette tape on the cover for mahh birthday cause i still walk around with a pen and paper #takingnotesandishh

              • http://TheNewEve.com/ Bunni

                I need a moleskine in my life….I havent sketched since college and that is an abomination indeed.

                • http://missrosen.wordpress.com/ esa

                  get it girl ! paper and pen is my favorite thing. if i could, i’d only write with Sharpies ~*~

                  • http://TheNewEve.com/ Bunni

                    Im an abstract artist, its my comfort zone, so I think I subconsciously make excuses for why I dont sketch….but I need to cut that crap out, if I dont practice then I’ll lose the skill that i DO have lol. In college I had a moleskine full of eyeball sketches cuz I could never get an eye right #practice

                    • http://missrosen.wordpress.com/ esa

                      writer’s block. i understand. now cut that out and get to work. you’ll be glad you did right quick ~*~

                    • http://TheNewEve.com/ Bunni

                      :-) Yes Ma’am!!

              • Yoles

                speaking of yesterday….

                HAPPY (belated) BIRTHDAY Esa!!!!! wishing you many more, with each being better than the last :)

                • http://TheNewEve.com/ Bunni

                  ***gasp***

                  **takes off top and serves Esa the most divine enlightened lapdance everrrrrrrr**

                  HBD sweetheart!!!

                  • http://missrosen.wordpress.com/ esa

                    enlightened lapdances. we gonn patent that. talking about what lift your head my my my noww ~*~

                • http://missrosen.wordpress.com/ esa

                  thank youu ~*~ this one’s a treat

                  • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

                    :-) Happy birthday, Esa! :-)

                    • http://missrosen.wordpress.com/ esa

                      thank youu Miss Val ~*~

                  • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

                    Happy 34th birthday, Esa!

                    • http://missrosen.wordpress.com/ esa

                      (giggle)

                    • LMNOP

                      Happy Birthday!

                    • http://missrosen.wordpress.com/ esa

                      cheers ~*~

                    • Sahel

                      Esa,you know what it is.

                    • http://missrosen.wordpress.com/ esa

                      discretion in all things, cheri ~*~

                  • h.h.h.

                    happy birthday Esa… *passes you a drink*

                • Shamira

                  happy happy birthday esa! when are we all celebrating!

                  • http://missrosen.wordpress.com/ esa

                    any time ~*~
                    #teamhappyhour

              • Kema

                Happy birthday ESA!!!! *passes an extra huge b-day blunt*

                • http://missrosen.wordpress.com/ esa

                  girl, youu knoww im all blazed of eye on my day workinn from home ~*~

              • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

                I love Moleskin. They’re just too expensive though.

                • http://missrosen.wordpress.com/ esa

                  all addictions exact a price. thas why i love an addiction. so chic, so exclusive, so refined ~*~

                • h.h.h.

                  if price is a problem, i’d say get the smaller notebooks, or check here for best paper notebooks and see if there is a more economical book you’d like to to use (http://lifehacker.com/five-best-paper-notebooks-1157038442)

                  • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

                    The thing is, I love them. But, when I have one I’m always very hesitant to write in it because I don’t want to fill it up. Which ends up being counter productive. In fact I have two mini-Moleskin notebooks that I’ve almost used up and I’m feeling sad. Naw-what-I-mean?

                    Thanks for the linkage.

                    • h.h.h.

                      i don’t want to fill them up either…but i feel like the notebooks will have a piece of my thoughts that i can pass through the generations, so that they know what *I* went through…so it’s a private notetaking thing, it will be a first-hand artifact for my future upgrades :)

              • h.h.h.

                i keep a mini moleskine on me, just to empty out my brain from time to time….one of the better gifts i’ve received.

                • http://missrosen.wordpress.com/ esa

                  #teamemptybrain

              • BreezyX2

                Happy Birthday Esa!! *flings fairy dust, ying yang shaped confetti and skittles*

                • http://missrosen.wordpress.com/ esa

                  ooOoo yea taste tha rainbowww ~*~

              • Medium Meech

                Happy uterus parole anniversary!! Your card is in the mail.

                • http://missrosen.wordpress.com/ esa

                  parole like if im bad they gonn send me back ? mm you do have quite the imagination, my dear sir ~*~

              • PaddyfotePrincess

                Happy belated birthday!

                • http://missrosen.wordpress.com/ esa

                  thank youu Miss Princess ~*~

        • JayIzUrGod

          Yea, I’m clearly showing my age…but even still…that was only 7 years ago.

          • kidvideo

            I had a clear and neon green one…

            • JayIzUrGod

              I had a red Motorola joint.

              • Kema

                I had a really small baby blue one in HS. It wasnt even on after a while but I would set the alarm at times to look important. lmao!

      • http://TheNewEve.com/ Bunni

        “For bookings, contact BussItWideOpenModelManagement@gmail”

        • JayIzUrGod

          Ha! Lemme be your personal photographer….i promise the pics won’t end up on Rude.com.

      • Michelle

        Usually their stage name… I mean, their “modeling” name is a name that consists of two “first names”.
        IMO, I think majority of them are taking pics until they land themselves a pro athlete or someone that works in the music biz who have deep pockets.
        Plus, I hate when writers from lad-mags wants to make them feel like human beings by actually interviewing them. It’s the worst thing that a model could do to her fans is by “keeping it 100″ with her answers.

        • JayIzUrGod

          Lmao. Seriously you got a point there with the two first names. On the real though, I can’t hate..if you can provide for yourself by being a model, awesome, but that sh*t ain’t for everyone with a moderately cute face, and the amount of females that decided to become internet models.the moment that trend room off was ridiculous. But where are they now? At Lowes and Victorias Secret.

          • Michelle

            I think what annoys me about models’ interviews are the answers to the “What type of stuff do you look for in a man?”
            A smart woman would give a friendly and polite answer which will cater to the male readers’ ego.
            Instead, they list a grocery shopping list that is filled with oxymorons and materialistic things.

            • JayIzUrGod

              Well you that’s so the magazine can sell issues and the model can boost her exposure. We know its fake, just like her pics, but in the end, nobody cares. Everybody prefers to live the lie.

    • The Champ

      “Why the shade for the Deltas?”

      for reasons

    • panamajackson

      Champ does stay shading Deltas…me? Panama Jackson gots nothing but love for the Reds.

      YOU HEAR THAT NUTSO?!?! HE OWES ME!

  • I Am Your People

    *free my comment*

    • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

      Told you about all that cussing, IAYP.

      • I Am Your People

        F*CK YOUR SUGGESTIONS!!!

        (for real, i didn’t cuss. Please don’t tell me ‘n3rgo’ gets filtered

        • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

          Discus knows all.

  • JayIzUrGod

    Except for the self shooter, I never dated any of those others. Maybe I’m lucky.

    I actually want to add one to the list though.

    6) Ms. Head In the Clouds – You’ve all met her. Some of you dated her. Yet all of you said the same thing: is she f*cking for real? This is the girl who has been told she’s beautiful and daddy’s little princess since day 1. So her ego is on full blast, and no one, and I mean NO ONE, has had the balls to put her in her place because they want to f*ck her. Its sad. She thinks she’s always right when she’s wrong, she gets away with the most appalling things without so much as “I’m sorry” afterwards, and I don’t think she ever bother to look up the word “responsibility” in the dictionary. Yet she’s quick to point a finger at anyone and everyone for anything that goes wrong. I think you might have heard of her in both Nas – Black Girl Lost & Second Childhood.

    • HRH Prince Farouk I

      She probably thinks she is doing you a favour by dating you too…sigh and if you have not so high self esteem you will perpetually worship her and be a complete pushover who is always apologizing for who he is and sometimes when you meet a girl who makes you feel better about yourself you cheat on her with the female equivalent of an 1974 volvo with deflated tyres and cobwebs in the engine not that there is ever an excuse for that

      • JayIzUrGod

        I giggled at this description, for I have met this kind of man several times and thought him & Ms. Head in the Clouds were meant for each other, only to watch the news a year later and find out them both involved in a murder-suicide.

    • Todd

      Yeah, I’ve dated a lot of those, especially in my younger years. I usually ended up being the first one to check them, which leads to much weeping and gnashing of teeth as the day of the Lord comes.

      The thing with women like that is the second they start to lose their looks or even just aren’t the hottest thing on the block, Things Fall Apart like the famous book by Chinua Achebe. If you’ve ever met a former Ms. Head In The Clouds when she’s 40+, she’s a pathetic sight. Because she spend so much of her life skating by on privilege, when she is forced to pull her own weight, she’s lost because she’s never learned how.

      • JayIzUrGod

        I have met that woman before, and after all the mistakes I’ve made, I vowed to never get older and have pity for her. Even Louie C.K made a joke about that kind of woman in his last comedy special.

      • BedRock Obama

        I’ve dated several of them. Sadly it took a while to never trust a big butt and a smile. This is the truth, they get older and its a sad sight. Could be be replaced by any Super Hott woman in their 20s/30s and see their life as they get older.
        Related to the “If You Were Not Fine, I Wouldn’t Be Here” woman. If I can’t hold a conversation with you, if we can’t go to a nice restaurant and you not order any fried chicken or rice (in an Italian restaurant seriously), you talk about the struggle of retail work, etc. I can only take it for so long.

        • Todd

          I think I have a triple word score in my history: Ms. Head in the Clouds, If you were not fine, I wouldn’t be here AND a Stealth Church Bomber. I remember kicking it to her, and I remember her saying that America wouldn’t be interested in fighting in Kosovo if it weren’t for the oil. (Remember, this is circa late 90s here.)

          o_______________0

          Then this broad had the NERVE to stand me up for a church date. Making me get up all early on a Sunday, in college no less, to go to a church in the middle of the f*cking projects. I couldn’t lose the b*tch’s number fast enough. IDGAF how cute she looks. At Rutgers, I can find a better looking girl without the BS thanks!

          • Epsilonicus

            I also went on a church date in college. The things you do when you are young lol.

    • http://TheNewEve.com/ Bunni

      Totally unrelated but maybe kinda related but not really lol:
      I HATE heffas on instagram and twitter who say “Good morning….now say it back to me!!”
      Girl BYE. How do you DEMAND folks to acknowledge your existence and pleasantries??? Idk why that irks me so bad, but those heffalumps deserve early morning knuckle sammiches lol

      • JayIzUrGod

        Nah I hate it too…i honestly have a distain for people who demand attention, the only people who have the right to demand attention are kids.

        I’ve never been the type of person who got positive attention easily, so maybe that’s why I can’t relate, but people who must be acknowledged to me are just overgrown kids who never got the memo, yet there are always people willing to feed into that nonsense, so there is no end to it. Especially as a guy, I feel real out of place constantly patting a chick on the back for sh*t she deserves no credit for.

        and honestly I give the same reaction to men who do the same, I just can’t f*ck with them, but clearly somebody loves them.

        • Rachmo

          The best Instagram picture I have ever seen was a man who took a picture of himself crying in the car. The caption read “crying over my uncle I lost last year.” It had about 30 something likes.

          • http://TheNewEve.com/ Bunni

            sigh. Terry cloth #soft

            • Rachmo

              I guffawed and my sister restrained me from posting a comment.

              • Camilleblu

                Ummm..so he took a selfie to show the world how distraught he was???

                • Rachmo

                  Yes. Indeed. And it was not merely one selfie ma’am. There were three shots from different angles picstitched together. LMAO

                  • http://TheNewEve.com/ Bunni

                    nooooooooooooooooooooooo lmao!!!!!

                    • Rachmo

                      Yeeeesssssss

          • 321mena123

            Yall need new FB friends. LOL.

          • JayIzUrGod

            That’s just creepy. To share sadness like that…online.

            • Rachmo

              It was SO WEIRD. Followed by a post from the last time they went to the strip club together.

              • JayIzUrGod

                People don’t seriously understand that everything they do needs to be public knowledge but….whatever.

                Sidenote: I will be in your hood this.weekend!

                • Rachmo

                  You’ll be in DC! For what?

                  • JayIzUrGod

                    I’m just visiting a homie of mines. Don’t know how much free time I will have but feel free to email me, defineintellect@gmail.com

            • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

              One of my fb friends, who I really only know as an alum of a school that I attended, was grieving all day yesterday on fb. It was a bit strange. I felt bad for her but fb?

              • JayIzUrGod

                The internet is not the place to share private moments. Its just not. Somebody passes and you want to relay the messages to others, I got you. You want to share a quick tip, I understand. But the emotional part is supposed to be for close people, not for FB admins

        • http://TheNewEve.com/ Bunni

          I also hate ppl who post IG pics of boxed macaroni and cheese and chicken nuggets with the caption #Cheffin #WifeyMaterial **smacks forehead**

          • Todd

            I may or may not have HS basketball teammates who have done that. I could son them with the quickness, but I don’t feel like doing it to them. LOL

          • Rachmo

            #putaringonit

            • http://TheNewEve.com/ Bunni

              #RingPop

          • BriA

            Lol! Right! Or the women who instagrams every last one of her made from scratch meals. She raised the animals, made her own dough, and hand sliced every pepperoni. She thinks this makes her wifey material because she can cook. However, she still manages to stay single. Not that there is anything wrong with that, just stop protesting too much.

          • JayIzUrGod

            Oooh I’ve got a fb group dedicated to that.

          • de+andrea

            or pics of frozen veggies. nothing wrong with ‘em, it’s how I make my quota, but you did nothing but push 6:00 on the microwave.

        • Kema

          *frowns* I demand attention. However I prefer to receive mine in real life. ;-)

          • BreezyX2

            Where is your avi Missy?!?!?!

            • Kema

              You cant see it? I updated it.

              • Yoles

                i can’t see it

                :(

              • BreezyX2

                TIDDYMEAT!!!!!!!!!!

                • http://TheNewEve.com/ Bunni

                  they look so warm and squishy and cozy

              • http://brown-c6h12o6.tumblr.com/ AfroPetite

                I do. Tiddayssssss

              • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

                *looks at Kema’s avatar*

                Racks on racks on racks….

          • http://www.saysmeblog.wordpress.com/ Aly

            BOOBS!

          • JayIzUrGod

            Bahahaha. You tickle me on the inside.

            Besides, you just charm attention out of people.

      • BriA

        Or the ones who post long inspirational quotes under a selfie pic of themselves half-naked. Oh.

        • http://TheNewEve.com/ Bunni

          **pic of heaux lickin her nip**
          Caption: Believe in yourself and the world is yours”

          Eaux.

        • The Champ

          I have a disdain for inspiration quotes in general. They really rub me the wrong way

          • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

            I’ve been known to ‘hide’ fb posts from people who constantly post inspirational quotes and pics of cats.

            • http://TheNewEve.com/ Bunni

              Nothing wrong with the Cats of FB lol

              • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

                Lol! Are you a cat poster, Bunni?

                • http://TheNewEve.com/ Bunni

                  Back when I actually used FB, YES. Unapologetically lol

                  • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

                    Lol. Oh my, that’s cute, but I would have still hidden your posts.

                    • http://TheNewEve.com/ Bunni

                      no harm, no foul lol

                    • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

                      Speaking of facebook. Am I the only one who thinks it’s weird when couples share a fb page?

                    • http://TheNewEve.com/ Bunni

                      ppl do that?!?!?! eww.

                    • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

                      Yes! It’s so annoying. I had an old friend friend me and I was thinking do I really want to share with her boyfriend who I do not know. It felt creepy.

                    • LMNOP

                      That doesn’t sound healthy to me.

                    • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

                      Me either.

    • The Champ

      I think Black Girl Lost is an extreme version of the type of woman you’re describing. For one, the type described in BGL definitely didn’t have a dad around

      • JayIzUrGod

        Maybe I should have articulated it better. Certain characteristics, like being a big kid, that Nas describes in BGL is what I compare to the kind of person in taking about. You’re right, the character in that song is an extreme version, yet I’m.sure many people have met someone who has some of those.characteristics

    • Bedrock Obama

      Daddy’s Little Princess….I don’t blame her if its a result of her father showing her that men should treat you a certain way. We (as fathers) did that to her for her benefit and unfortuantely to her detriment as well. If you are trying to date her, you have to be ready for a serious relationship.

      • JayIzUrGod

        I view Daddy’s Little Girl the way I view a Momma’s Boy. There’s nothing wrong with raising your child with tons of love and a protective reach. However, parents don’t always know the full extent of their child’s personality. So if you overdose your child with positive attention, neglect their negative aspects and send them out into the world, their bad traits.will come back to haunt them. I don think there is a perfect way to do it, but being honest is more helpful than anything.

    • Guest

      Also see: Toni Childs