4 Unreasonable Expectations During Spirited Disagreements
You don’t want to get into an argument with me. Not a debate. I like debates. I’m respectful and I respond in kind. But an argument where we’ve decided that for that moment in time we are not friends? Yeah, you don’t want it with Hov. Ask Nas he don’t want it with Hov.
Like, I’m T.I. willing to beef with motherf*cking Floyd Mayweather. Do you know insane you have to be to be willing to attempt to take on a man whose hands are actual registered weapons? T.I. doesn’t even look like he can fight. But he’s also proven himself to be a few guns short of an NRA convention (see what I did there?) so I suppose anything is possible. For all the crap Tiny and T.I. parade via their show, they sure as hell do keep having real world issues.
Back to the lecture at hand…
Sidenote: I’m watching The Internship as I write this. There is NEVER not a good time to run Fleetwood Mac’s “Landslide”. Just an FYI.
…I do not enjoy arguing. At all. But not for the reasons you think. I mean nobody should enjoy the art of actively beefing with another person. Only a motherlover like Jelena from Hit The Floor would like that. I happen to hate arguing because I think people have completely unrealistic expectations of what is in bounds when arguing and being mad at other people. Namely, I think it sucks that while we are actively going at each other’s throats, I STILL have to give a f*ck about your feelings. Granted, I’m not going to low blow anybody…that’s women’s bailiwick (FIGHT ME), but I do think in my experience that amongst relationship arguments, there are unfair expectations. Such as?
Such as (oh, and I’m glad you asked).
1. You’re expected not to curse
Look. I cuss. A lot. So much so that I even get tired of hearing myself curse at times. I try to check it. I try to check a lot. But its hard out here for a pimp when you’re trying get that money for the rent. But let me get this right – and this has happened to me before – we’re in the middle of a heated argument and I’m in the feelings you swear I don’t have and you expect me to be couth enough to filter my f*cking words mother f*cker? That’s just unreasonable. But it never fails. “WHY ARE YOU CURSING AT ME?”
2. “Why are you cursing at me?”
I hate those words more than any other when arguing. For one n*gga…I’m just cursing usually. Secondly, if I tell you to get the f*ck out of here, that’s not cursing at you, that’s just cursing into the ether of which you happen to be apart. Now if I call you a b-word, a-word, c-word, or d-word…well most alphabet words then yes. Now, I may do that in which case you are more than welcome to be in your feelings though, again, I feel like during times of heightened emotions, you kind of should just understand. I mean, I will! Have at it, b*tch.
3. The Expectation of Noise Reduction
I feel like you know you won an argument when a person says to you, in all seriousness, “why are you yelling!!!?!?!?!?” Because there’s a better than Love & Hip-Hop: Atlanta chance that you have both raised our voices to the gawds during the fracas you’ve been apart of. Yet and still, there is always somebody who is going to question why you’ve raised your voice. I feel like that’s a “stall” card.
4. Clear, Logical, Linear Thought
I don’t know about you, but when and if I get in my feelings, I tend to chill there for a minute. For those of you who’ve never had the pleasure of getting in your feelings, it becomes very hard to distinguish between what’s real and what you feel. What you feel will tell you that the person you’re dating has been cheating on you with a wooly mammoth. Whats real will tell you that they’ve been exactly where they’ve said they’d be when they said it at all times. But when I’m in my feelings I absolutely DO NOT let facts get in the way of my opinions. As it seems most folks don’t. But nope, folks expect you to (while not necessarily doing so themselves) accept all things being said as fact and to be able to process all that’s being said in a fashion to end said argument.
I was going to do 5 but I’m over it. Plus, it ain’t nuttin’ to cut a *CENSORED* off. So what are other unreasonable expectations people have in high emo situations?
Talk to me.
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka MR. MOVE THAT DOPE aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3