Lists, Theory & Essay, Uncategorized

4 Totally Normal Things That People Do That You Probably Shouldn’t Tell People That You’re Doing

ikeWhile denial is both a river in Egypt and the name of a Black child in Louisville, KY, it is often the most important part of maintaining peace in any relationship. Not that I think anybody should be outright lying to their boo, boothang, or concubine, but the truth is that the devil is a lie, the present is a gift, and I just wanna be.

Really, none of that made any sense.

So let’s shift things a bit. Technology is a motherlover. It’s turned an entire world of omitted statements into GPS-guided poppycock. You can’t say you were one place, then use any type of social media anymore. The hawks are out. They’re looking at tablecloths and flowerbeds in the background. The thing is…UNLESS you get caught red-handed doing something you just weren’t supposed to be doing, folks can’t just tell you that they’re cyber-stalking your life even thought we ALL know that’s what happens. Which puts it square at number 1 on the list of things that everybody is doing and we all know folks are doing but you can’t go telling people that you just did it.

1. Social media stalking

Facebook. Twitter. Instagram. Vine. Etcetea etcetera. Que sera sera. If you’re dating somebody and they have ANY form of social media and they don’t call when they say they will or for some reason ain’t available when you want them to be, there’s a really – like better than 99 percent – good chance that you’re heading to check out their footprint. And who can blame you. It’s public information right? I’ve been accused of something because of an IG post that was over a year old before. Thing is…it still sounds crazy when you realize that you’re pulling up a Twitter account to put somebody on blast. Just duly note that sh*t and keep it to yourself until you have a really good reason to drop the bizzombnayee.

2. Watch pr0n

As prevalent as pr0n is nowadays it’s entirely possible that you’re watching it right now and don’t even know it. Thing is, there are two communities of pr0n watchers: those who are unapologetically watching, commenting on message boards, and having deep debates about “deep” debates with actual pr0n star names. Then there’s the other group…folks who look at it but pretend like they don’t, even though nobody is going to judge you for doing so. Unless you’re like uber religious or something in which case you probably should keep that to yourself. Here’s a good rule of thumb: if you feel some kind of way about telling your mother what you’re doing, just keep that sh*t to yourself.

3. Be a fan of and attend Rick Ross concerts when you’re a pastor

So this is a thing.

Here’s the thing, folks of the cloth, I can understand liking certain musics in the comforts of your own home. Especially when you’re 26. However, Rick Ross is one unsavory ass character. You can’t be outchea in these streets supporting unsavory ass characters by going to their concerts. THEN when the hiring folks have had to tell you BEFORE to cut that sh*t out…well you just might get fired. Stop that sh*t. Just listen in the car or at home when no parishioners are there. Concerts? Off limits, Pastor.

4. Like Pitbull

Let me tell y’all something: Pitbull got hits. So does Flo-Rida. So does Ike. And the Ike Turner IG memes? Can you say totes hilar? Pitbull could be substituted for Miley Cyrus, herpes, Samsungs, Kardashians, or R. Kelly. There are so many entertainers and nouns that truly are enjoyable but could cause somebody to glare at you with a sideways. By the way, if you are really happy about your herpes, you definitely should keep that to yourself. And stay off horses.

So randomly, what else are some completely normal things that people do but you shouldn’t really tell other people. Let’s kick off this end of Summer with some fun then get to some interestingness.

AND HOW WAS YOUR LABOR DAY?!

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka lower.case.p aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

Damon Young

Panama Jackson is pretty fly for a light guy. He used to ship his frito to Tito in the District, but shipping prices increased so he moved there to save money. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. Most importantly, he believes the children are our future.

  • keisha brown

    start a tumblr page devoted to… *wifi signal drops*

  • iamnotakata

    Hey Social networking folks wear abouts are for research purposes only wink wink lol..

    • JayIzUrGod

      Because 4Square was meant for the amateur stalker in all of us.

  • Maris

    My Labor Day weekend was a solid #TurnMedium. Good enough for me.
    And while there are no unsavory habits that I share in common with the general public that I’d care to admit, I really need all races to come together and just admit fried chicken is a THING. Every ethnicity has fried chicken. 2520′s got the Colonel, black people (and the Chinese, hilariously) have Popeye’s, Koreans got Kyochun, Hispanics have chicharrones de pollo, we really gotta just admit it. It’s like the key to world peace.

    • JayIzUrGod

      Chicken is the key to end all prejudice. I swear it. In the next Olympics, if we can make some sort of chicken based activities, you will see unity unparalleled to any FIFA game you’ll ever seen in your life.

    • Todd

      Mmm…Korean food. Korean food is so very much like American food, but different. Like they’re some sort of parallel universe. Go get some Korean BBQ though with some serious banchan and GET YOUR LIFE!

      • Rachmo

        YES LORD to bonchon chicken. I tried it for the first time yesterday and it is NO JOKE.

        • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

          *taps Rachmo on the shoulder*
          Just so you know, that bonbon chicken isn’t really chicken. Remember where you’re getting it from…
          *Muttley snicker*

          • Rachmo

            Haha I don’t care what animal it is. It is DELICIOUS!

        • b sweet

          ummm, I have apparently missed it with bonchon. They built one at Rockville Town Center near my job, and everyone was raving about it. I LOVE fried chicken, and it was disgusting. I literally couldn’t even finish my meal. Am I doing something wrong-I dont’ understand

          • Rachmo

            I used to work near Rockville Town Center. Idk what’s going on with what you had. You just might not care for the wings. Someone brought the wings to a cookout I was at and they were delicious although super spicy. P.S.- Have you ever been to Rolls and Rice on Rockville Pike?

            • b sweet

              I had the combo with both flavored wings and fries. The batter was literally soaked in grease, and they were VERY salty. And I have a very salty palate. To me they were literally inedible. People keep saying get the drumsticks instead of the wings, but what’s the difference. What do you recommend? I have not been to Rolls and Rice I may try them today I’m already hungry and didn’t bring lunch.

              • Rachmo

                Ooooohh ok, yeah I had the drumsticks. I’m not sure if there is a difference since I didn’t try the wings. I’m not sure if you’ve ever had udon, but it is a soup with these thick noodles. They have the best udon that I’ve had in the DMV. Their sushi is also very good across the board. I’d also suggest the fried rice. Yes I know it’s a sushi place but theirs is very good.

                • b sweet

                  Ummmm yea, bonchon is not for me. I did have the drumsticks. I will admit they were a little better than the wings, but still pretty awful. I threw another half eaten chicken meal and i’m throwing in the towel. Bonchon is not for me!

        • The CPT

          Banchan not bonchon. Banchan is the small side dishes served with the main entree in Korean meals.

    • Asiyah

      I love fried chicken and always will! I approve of this message!

  • http://www.WordsDontDoItJustice.com/ Ruthless Wonder

    My Labor Day was great.

    You shouldn’t tell people you’re lactose intolerant. Its not a shame thing, But just say I have an allergy, or just thanks but no thanks. Saying you’re Lactose Intolerant is just a subversive way of making your unwitting victims picture you taking a dump or farting repeatedly in a noncomedic fashion. Do us all a favor and just hold that in.

    • SororSalsa

      This. Or talk about your IBS. Just makes them fear ever being in a public restroom with you. EVER

      • nillalatte

        Or not being able to get to a restroom when they have an attack.

        • JayIzUrGod

          That’s why they never let you ride in the car with them on any trip longer than 30 minutes.

        • Asiyah

          HAPPY BIRTHDAY NILLA!!!!

          • nillalatte

            Happy Birthday to you too Asiyah!!! Have a wonderful, heart felt day. :)

            • Asiyah

              Thank you, Nilla! Same to you! <3

              • Kema

                Happy B-day!!!!!

          • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

            Hiya, Asiyah!

            It’s your birthday?! Well, happy birthday! :-)

            • Asiyah

              Yes it is! Thank you Val! <3

              • BreezyX2

                Happy Birthday Sweetheart…enjoy your day :)

                • Asiyah

                  Thank you Breezy! <3

              • http://missrosen.wordpress.com/ esa

                happy birthday virgo babe ~*~

          • Shamira

            *throws even more bday confetti*

            • Asiyah

              YESS!!!! and a piñata!

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist
    • WIP

      LOL

  • nillalatte

    Labor Day was awesome because my mom labored on this day to have me! Bless her heart. #teamvirgo baby!

    And, that normal things that people do that you shouldn’t tell… phew.. lawd… I can’t. FIF all the way, but it may have something to do with things that were illegal in 2 states that are not now. :D

    • JayIzUrGod

      Clearly your moms is an OG

    • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

      :-) Happy birthday, Nilla! :-)

      • nillalatte

        Thanks Val!

    • Yoles

      Happy Birthday Nilla!!!!!

      • nillalatte

        Hi Yolie! Thank you lady.

    • Sahel

      I have a candle you can blow out Nilla

      • nillalatte

        Awww… that goes so nice with my vanilla cake! You can have a piece if you like, you know, to put your candle in… for reciprocation purposes. lol

    • http://missrosen.wordpress.com/ esa

      happy birthday virgo love ~*~

      • nillalatte

        Thanks esa! ~love back at ya~

    • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com/ Tristan

      happy birthday

      • nillalatte

        Look! Tristan came out to play! Yippee! Thanks love.

    • BreezyX2

      Happy Birthday Nilla!!!!

      • nillalatte

        Breezy… wut up girl?! Thanks homie.

    • Todd

      Let’s get the Virgos out of the way because Libra season is coming!! Happy Birthday nilla

      • Rachmo

        Fellow Libra here! Holla!

      • SuperStrings

        Ditto

      • b sweet

        I love Libras!!!!

      • Asiyah

        lol shut up Todd loool

      • nillalatte

        Virgo’s rule! :D Thanks Todd.

        • Kema

          …and Libra’s drool!

    • Camilleblu

      Happy Birthday Nilla!!

      • nillalatte

        Thank you Camilleblu! You so sweet. *blushes

    • sincereluv4life

      Happy B-day :-)

      • nillalatte

        The love is appreciated. Thanks!

    • Rachmo

      Happy Birthday :)

      • nillalatte

        Thank you Rachmo. Now where’s my drank? :D

        • Kema

          *pours tequilla* Happy Birthday!!

    • b sweet

      Happy Birthday Nillalatte

      • nillalatte

        b sweet! Loving the cup cakes you brought. :D Thanks girl.

    • Shamira

      it’s everybody’s birthday! happy bday girl!

      • nillalatte

        LOL… thanks Shamira! Yeah, December is a cold month, so there are a lot of September babies. :D

        • http://missrosen.wordpress.com/ esa

          nine months after New Year’s Eve ~*~

  • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

    One normal thing people do that folks should NOT be doing:

    Discussing any detail about your personal life and/or who you happen to be dating. By the time you finish the last sentence, you might as well start counting the days on when it’s going to end- or when one of your closest friends happens to sleep with your spouse.

    As the old saying goes in the South- sometimes it’s better to eat too much than to talk too much.

    This has been a Public Service Announcement from the Perverted Alchemist Foundation and the operation Mind Your Own And You’ll Live Long.

    • JayIzUrGod

      At least gauge the comfort level a person is willing to have with you before you spout off about the number of abortions you’ve had, how many times your uncle touched you inappropriately or why you still don’t have a GED yet. I’m just saying.

      PA…this is how I end my Labor Day/Caribbean Day

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DU_9uacyy3M

      • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

        “At least gauge the comfort level a person is willing to have with you before you spout off about the number of abortions you’ve had, how many times your uncle touched you inappropriately or why you still don’t have a GED yet. I’m just saying”

        LMAO!!! Hey dude, back in August 2005, a woman I barely knew was telling me about her life story. I don’t want to get into what she said, but what she revealed made me:

        Run back to my place…four blocks away…in the middle of a thunderstorm…with a possible tornado touching down…

        • JayIzUrGod

          PA, on one of my first dates with a girl, I found out she got raped like 2 years prior and this is why she banged every dude in the neighborhood, but because I was a nice guy, she wanted to be a real woman with me.

          :|

          • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

            “PA, on one of my first dates with a girl, I found out she got raped like 2 years prior and this is why she banged every dude in the neighborhood, but because I was a nice guy, she wanted to be a real woman with me.”

            And this is the source of trouble for nice guys- they get all the hoes…literally…

            “Another time, a girl told me she had just come from having secks with another dude before she came out with me, then proceeded to ask me why I was uncomfortable on our date.”

            Let me get this straight: She couldn’t understand your level of discomfort had a lot to do with her being ran up in shortly before the date? She must be [redacted], LMAO!!!

            • JayIzUrGod

              My life has been filled with fail PA, filled with it.

            • Sahel

              I wonder which hood Rewind sources his dates from,eish. Between him,Todd and Bunni..it makes you wonder if New York is sane

              • Todd

                Well, me and Rewind are both Bajan and have dated women from Tilden Projects. The sad part is that the Tilden Projects chicken are under my less crazy women. *smh* I blame Rihanna for this…somehow. :)

                • JayIzUrGod

                  lmao Todd, the horrible thing is I date someone from Tilden.

                  • Todd

                    There’s your problem right there. I learned the hard way. When the president of the tenant council is on some ratchet steez, that tells you what time it is. Though she did help me out with the cops. ;)

              • JayIzUrGod

                I’ve had project chicks, suburb chicks, country chicks and they’ve all been equally f*cked up like they were touched by the same devil d*ck.

                • Todd

                  If anything, the suburb chick is crazier if only because they have the money to fund their crazy. A project chick doesn’t know enough crazy and will run out of money before they hit their potential…and thank goodness.

                  • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

                    A project chick doesn’t know her crazy- that is until two things happen:

                    Someone cheats on her (And that’s when the destruction of property and stalking happens, LOL)

                    She gets some strong liquor in her system. (If Patron makes it to her mouth, it’s time to exit stage left…)

                  • JayIzUrGod

                    Nah project chicks are worse, they have nothing to lose and still don’t know they aren’t owed anything.

                • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

                  You wanna know why those type of women are equally disturbed. Despite their backgrounds, they all come from the same place…more on that later…

                  • Yoles

                    you and your half a@@sed posts… i’m finished with you…hmpf

                    • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

                      Yoles, I’ve been around those same type of women- too much for my liking (It’s Alabama, that’s all that’s down here, LMAO!!!!).

                      The reason why I say they came from the same place is because they did. That same place of being in a bad relationship and taking it on out people who had nothing to do with it. They go though their entire lives that way and it’s quite sad, if you ask me.

                    • Todd

                      Thank you for an excellent summation of my dating history. I have a problem with dating women right after someone did them dirty. Of course this means they aren’t fully available for relationships, which plays right into my intimacy issues. *kanyeshrug*

                    • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

                      It also plays into you getting verbally attacked by women who were in bad relationships just by bringing it up- ask me how I know…

                  • JayIzUrGod

                    Indeed they do. A place where they get treated differently for being girls and grow up to be a horror story because people lack the balls to put them in their place.

                    • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

                      Also known as the future cast members of “Basketball Wives” and “Love And Hip Hop”, LOL!

                    • JayIzUrGod

                      AKA the shows White people look at to fully realize the stereotypes of why Black men don’t go with Black women anymore

                • Kema

                  This reminded me of NC17′s Educated Fool post.

                  • Royale W. Cheese

                    The last word in that meme gif is spelt wrong. It’s bof, not both.

                • h.h.h.

                  “I’ve had project chicks, suburb chicks, country chicks and they’ve all been equally f*cked up like they were touched by the same devil d*ck.”

                  Maybe it’s a NYC/NE Female thing?

                  just like males from NYC are a different breed of male altogether?

                  • Shamira

                    ayo ma, word to muvva, you fine as sh!t, deada$$.

                    • Kema

                      I think you left out the arm grab.

                    • Shamira

                      truuuuu

                    • h.h.h.

                      lol…i’m just going by what everyone says..i’m bold to go to a festival by myself, but i’m too quiet to say anything…

                      *chills by the bar*

                    • JayIzUrGod

                      You’re clearly my more handsome twin.

                    • h.h.h.

                      i appreciate the compliment but i’m quite the work in progress lol

                    • JayIzUrGod

                      You aren’t the only one man. For all that I do to seem reasonable, I’m just a confused man-child trying go get my sh*t together before it is too late

                  • JayIzUrGod

                    Lmao maybe so. Who makes these people anyway? We need to castrate them asap

              • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

                I could guess the borough, but I’m not going to start another war between the North and the South- I’ll leave that to New York rappers, LOL!

                • Todd

                  Brooklyn and Queens have enough beef as is without someone from Alabama stirring the pot. LOL

                  • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

                    Besides, I’m trying to get this complexion war jumped off- too many gender wars going on at VSB. We need to try something new, LMAO!!!

          • Todd

            All I will say is that it’s better to know too early than too late. Trust me, I know people who would kill their own mother for such a history because it’s objectively BETTER than what happened to them. Yes, you read that correctly. BETTER.

            • JayIzUrGod

              I do appreciate knowing information as soon as possible, because it is worse to wait, and make a decision for me as to when I should know. On the other hand, you need to open the door first for me to know where we stand before you instantly say stuff. I have my own baggage, but I’m still not telling anyone without gauging our status.

      • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

        “At least gauge the comfort level a person is willing to have with you
        before you spout off about the number of abortions you’ve had…”

        File under: great but too late advice for Sherri Shepard.

        • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

          *shots fired*

        • JayIzUrGod

          BAM! BAM! BAM!

      • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

        I heard there was shooting and stabbing going on at the parade.

        • JayIzUrGod

          There probably was. I was in bed. My West Indian blood aint missing nothing.

        • Todd

          I find it amazing that in a crowd of 1 million+ people in a tight space with some of them drunk that there may be a shooting. All things considered, they aren’t particularly violent compared to the legacy of some ethnic groups with paler skin hues.

          • h.h.h.

            “All things considered, they aren’t particularly violent compared to the legacy of some ethnic groups with paler skin hues.”

            especially with what went down this same weekend at Randall’s Island.

            • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

              What happened on Randall’s?

              • h.h.h.

                Electric Zoo festival, 2 people died from OD’s (probably Molly), i think there was one confirmed sexual assault..it was actually shut down saturday, not sure what they’re doing in terms of Sunday refunds

                http://www.nytimes.com/2013/09/02/arts/music/electric-zoo-festival-cut-short-by-two-deaths.html?_r=0

                • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

                  Oh yeah, I actually heard about the ODs but I didn’t hear about the s*xual assault.

                • Todd

                  But they’d never stop allowing shows like that to be put on in this country. Yet Black people are the problem. LOL

        • Kema

          Ummm… Doesnt shooting and stabbing happen every year at the parade?

          • Shamira

            yep. just gotta leave before sundown. somebody’s drunk fresh of the boat uncle starts shooting celebratory bullets and everyone gets shook

    • Todd

      Well, in my case, I’d rather talk too much about my relationships, because I now first into a size 36 slim. Yeah, man! And what? LOL

      • WIP

        Is that bigger or smaller?

        • Todd

          Smaller. I was wearing a size 40.

          • WIP

            oh really?? Would have never guessed.

        • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

          That’s what she said…

    • Shay-d-Lady

      Discussing any detail about your personal life and/or who you happen to be dating. By the time you finish the last sentence, you might as well start counting the days on when it’s going to end- or when one of your closest friends happens to sleep with your spouse.

      As the old saying goes in the South- sometimes it’s better to eat too much than to talk too much.

      YES!!!!! and whats weird is that thanks to the prevalence of people over-sharing on social networks the boundary of whats appropriate to ask is very blurry. ive had people ask me some very almost instruction level questions about my intimate life. Im like not only am i not going to answer why the f!-k do you even think you had a right to ask and even more so.. why are you interested in knowing things of that nature about me? ugh…

      • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

        And to make matters even worse, they get downright mad if you don’t tell them anything- despite the fact it’s called “personal life” for a reason!

        • Kema

          So I shouldnt ask my friends whether they spit or swallow in their current relationship? *confused look*

          • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

            I mean, you could…but I wouldn’t stick around for the answer, LOL!

        • Shay-d-Lady

          right. these folks crazy..you mad? but you just asked me specifically about what i do with my “personal space” and who I do it with? and YOU MAD? If you dont get all the way the entire f!-k out of here with that BS…smh

    • Royale W. Cheese

      2 horrible human being points for me, for one case where I followed this law to te letter. I didn’t tell my own momma about my current guy (who is very serious) until 8 months into the relationship. And why don’t I feel bad about this? When I did tell her, she suggested that I screw around with other men to keep my options open. Yeah. No.

  • jennifer

    A few days ago I told some people that sometimes I put Bailey’s on my cereal and immediately regretted it.

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist

      Nothing starts the day like some Frosted Flakes and some liquor- not that I know anything about that…

      • jennifer

        I like it with Cocoa Crispies or Cinnamon Toast Crunch. You know every now and then you just need a little extra reason to smile in the mornings.

        • kidvideo

          reason to smile in the mornings

          That’s what morning chex is for.

          • JayIzUrGod

            Clearly this man is a sniper because that was on point from long distance.

            • kidvideo

              Call me Bob Lee Swagger…fastest gun in tha Souf.

              • JayIzUrGod

                I tip my hat to you sir.

        • Sahel

          “Adds Jennifer to VSS of the year shortlist’

    • JayIzUrGod

      What for? Granola & Baileys…who is that not a real cereal flavor at this point?

      • jennifer

        Hey, I’m with you. It’s just that in my line of work, that statement wouldn’t even register as unusual, but I accidentally said it to a normie.

        • JayIzUrGod

          You need new homies. Like me. Because I walk around with a 5th of Hennessy for emergencies.

          • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

            A whole 5th though. Lol

            • JayIzUrGod

              There are some dire emergencies that can’t be handled with anything less.

      • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com/ Tristan

        id cop some baileys bunches of oats

        • JayIzUrGod

          I feel like I need to share this idea with Post Cereals

      • WIP

        This sounds terrible.

        • JayIzUrGod

          Hush. You’ll change your mind when you can drink again

    • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

      *thinks someone needs to stop skipping AA meetings*

      • jennifer

        Noooo! I really only do it on weekends and I usually work at night so it’s fine to drink in the mornings. See? Like brunch!

        • Sahel

          So,you only do it mostly on weekends….nice

    • HRH Prince Farouk I

      Aint nothing wrong with a lil drank in the morning. They did it in Mad Men (Legit excuse)

    • Asiyah

      doesn’t that do something bad to your stomach, though?

  • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

    Sahel told me to add, ‘that you have mast*rbated at work’. I’m not sure if that’s a thing, you know like if people actually do that or not, but if I so they darn sure shouldn’t tell anyone. Because that would be a weird thing to know about someone.

    *wonders what made Sahel think of this?*

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/pervertedalchemist1 Perverted Alchemist
      • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

        Good ol’ Stewie.

    • JayIzUrGod

      I always wonder what places that would be ok to do. I’ve worked in places way too crappy to think about rubbing one out let alone office secks.

      • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

        Well, I used to work in radio, so I’ve heard lot of stories of people having chex in radio stations.

        • Sahel

          You realize i believe you participated in said activities…i know what you carry in your hand bag Val

          • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

            I might have made out a couple of times in a production studio but never chex.

            • Sahel

              For other people reading this,”made out” means something other than kissing when it comes to Val. She “made out” with some woman all night last weekend

              • Rachmo

                Val/Sahel exchanges make my day

        • JayIzUrGod

          Val, you helped some lucky lady make some radio show noises on a few occasions, haven’t you? Its ok, I won’t tell.

      • Shay-d-Lady

        call centers .there is random masterbatory activities and chex happening in all the conference rooms, the emergency first aid room. the “auxillary” room… and the parking lot. especially if there is some type of scenic man made lake or waterfall structure.

        • miss t-lee

          Call centers. Yup.

        • JayIzUrGod

          I would have never thought it but you’re right. Everyone I’ve ever known to work I a call center always told me the dramas of how everybody is banging everybody. You’d think putting a big group of people together would keep people focused on the real take, but nope, they just wanna f*ck.

          • Shay-d-Lady

            ou’d think putting a big group of people together would keep people focused on the real.

            lol why would you think that?

            • JayIzUrGod

              The jobs I’ve worked at, management watched over us like slave masters and then people wouldn’t talk to each other. But in so.e other places, people will speak to each other because that’s the only enjoyable part of the day.

        • Todd

          *contemplates working at a call center*

    • Sahel

      Val,i told you that in confidence..sigh. Never trust a lesbian with arching eyebrows.

      • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

        Oh shoot, sorry, I thought you said that doing that at work gave you extra confidence. I misunderstood.

        • http://stanoffewwords.wordpress.com/ Tristan

          entendre for the win

    • HRH Prince Farouk I

      Lol! master bating is a huge stress reliever so yeah if you got a sanitary looking place at work with no cameras (unless you believe sharing is caring) then by George *In British accent* rub off a quick one before that presentation at work. Its gives a momentary I just got shagged confidence especially came to fruition

  • I Am Your People

    #1 – I avoid social media stalking. Yes, I’ll Google a couple of things about someone to get receipts, but the stalking thing I don’t do. Mostly because I talk too much. For example, someone will say, “you gotta go to Kappa Kookout and meet John Doe.” SO we’re talking for the first time, and I’ll be like…

    Him: So, you like Janelle Monae? I went to her concert in Pittsburgh.
    Me: Oh, when you were visiting your line brother for his bachelor party?

    See, I’ll f*ck up the whole rotation

    • JayIzUrGod

      You’re just awful. At least give me the illusion that you haven’t went so far as to find out if I’m in compromising pictures at strip clubs first.

  • HRH Prince Farouk I

    I quit with #1, nowadays if you’re not responding I ll just go watch Suits, Breaking Bad, Boondocks or something. Gurl you aint the boss of me. I ll just take a lil longer to respond when you do get back at me, cos I m karma’s 2nd cousin. I am a proud watcher of pr0n, gotta keep my eyes and Django fit innit? Lastly aint nothing wrong with loving R.Kelly pre 2005 anyway.

    Seeing as there was no labor day holiday there over here, I went to work and had a guinness and some fish pepper soup so not a bad day

    • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

      Although I have no idea what it is, fish pepper soup sounds good.

      • HRH Prince Farouk I

        Its pretty awesome. it goes well with Beer or White wine if you ask me (perhaps Riesling or Sauvignon blanc). My carribean ex loved it when she came to Africa. You should try it http://www.allnigerianrecipes.com/soups/catfish-pepper-soup.html and thank me later

        • http://commentarybyvalentina.wordpress.com/ Val

          Nope, I’ll thank you now. Thanks. :-)