20 Things I’ve Tried Really, Really, Really, Really Hard To Care About But Just Can’t » VSB

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20 Things I’ve Tried Really, Really, Really, Really Hard To Care About But Just Can’t

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1. Comic books (Not movies based on comic books, because I care about those. Or even hearing the news that one of my favorite writers is penning a comic book series, because I care about that too. Just not the actual comic book.)

1.5. Everything that was just said about comic books could also be said about video games

2. Grilled chicken

3. Anyone’s feelings about whether I should say “nigga”

4. Making the bed

5. Whoever happens to be the Democratic nominee for president because I’d vote for a beet stuck in a dead pigeon’s throat before I voted for Trump

6. Strip clubs

7. Stretching before I play basketball

8. Most people’s opinions about most things, generally. But especially most people’s opinions about NBA basketball. And child-rearing.

9. Any homecoming or reunion-related activity with any of the schools I went to (Which actually surprises me because I loved school. I just have no urge to connect with or see people I know from them if I’m not already connected to them)

10. Receiving head

11. Wine

12. Events that contain the word “networking” in the title

12.5. Most conversations between 7pm and 4am on Friday and Saturday if there’s no alcohol involved

13. Meeting famous people

14. Line-dancing

14.5. Being in NYC for longer than 72 hours

15. Primanti Brothers sandwiches

16. Nature (I mean, I like that nature exists and shit. Yay trees. But hiking, fishing, camping, rock climbing, swimming, or even being in someone’s big-ass back yard are all things I can go the rest of my life without ever doing again)

17. Literally anything at all when I’m hungry

17.5. Twitter

18. Recycling

19. The concept of vacationing

19.5. Traveling (I don’t mind being different places and shit. But I just hate the process of getting there)

20. Wale

Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a columnist for GQ.com And he's working on a book of essays to be published by Ecco (HarperCollins). Damon is busy. He lives in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes. Reach him at damon@verysmartbrothas.com. Or don't. Whatever.

  • MrsRivera

    Damn even as a woman I don’t under the receiving head part. But no Wale dang…

  • AnswerMe

    Were you hungry when you wrote this?

    • Damon Young

      yes. but not anymore.

  • So many of these are me!

    • Damon Young

      like the saying goes “great minds think alike on vsb which is why i hate moderating comments unless i absolutely need to”

  • How can you NOT care about wine! *clutching my pearls*

    • iByron

      I was trying to avoid writing that one myself.

  • iByron

    I’m gonna do one of these lists on my Medium. I’ll linkback and give you credit, though.

    • Damon Young

      bet

  • ChokeOnThisTea

    I co-sign this list for the most part. Just remove #s 10, 16, and 18 for me and replace them with Star Wars, Kanye, and the white gaze and that’d be my list. Oh, and “Wale” can be substituted with the entire “rap scene over the last 10 years.” Oh. And you have to make the bed when guest come over. Any other day, eh.

    • kingpinenut

      smgdh…lol

      lawd you is aight hear me!

    • HouseOfBonnets

      The entire rap scene? Or just the one with migos and young thug?

      • ChokeOnThisTea

        Same difference to me.

        • HouseOfBonnets

          Being that I only really have a short list in a pool of designers to recommend….. I’ll let you take this one. Lol because that panda video was trash.

    • DomiMami

      ^for Kanye

    • brothaskeeper

      The SW hatred, tho! Why must y’all?

  • B

    You lost me on this one. But I guess No. 8 applies to my feedback

    • Damon Young

      :)

  • Christie

    #9 and for whatever reason somebody asks me if I’m going to homecoming EVERY year. I barely went to homecoming when I was a student. I talk to the people I need to on a regular anyway.

    • Damon Young

      maybe things would be different if i went to an hbcu

      • Kas

        I went to USC. I keep up with literally 2 people from school. I interact with them regularly. No need to go to a homecoming to catch up.

      • Brandon Allen

        That perception is skewed cuz negroes want to go to Atlanta and DC anyway and the most school spirit having alum never leave. They’re already there.

  • Julian Green

    1. Scandal & Empire
    2. anything Football related
    3. paying my credit card bill on time
    4. sneakers
    5. Salad
    6. Death Grips
    7. 12 Years a Slave
    8. The number of men she’s slept with (long as the bush isn’t burning when I meet her, I’m good)
    9. New York City
    10. Gun control
    11. Weed
    12. reconciling with my father

    • IsitFridayyet?

      Your 4, 7 and 9 are the truth.

      • Damon Young

        i thought about putting weed on my list. and beer.

        • IsitFridayyet?

          I’ve never tried to care about weed and I don’t drink so I would agree with that.

        • Val

          Weed would definitely be on my list.

        • Julian Green

          I’m indifferent to weed, but people always assume I’m a smoker because of the dreadlocks and the wooden necklaces.

          • Kas

            walks like a duck, et cetera

          • Tambra

            How about being from an island where we kinda export a lot. Let me explain, one time I was going to the states and went to Puerto Rico on American Eagle to get AA to JFK. When we were going through Immigration, there was a dude, pre TSA, who was like “St. Vincent, that side!”.

    • Val

      Yeah, I’m proud to say I haven’t cared about Scandal or Empire from day one. Nor that How to get away with whatever show.

      • Tambra

        I gave both of them one season and was like “nope”. I just can’t get with the hype.

      • Sigma_Since 93

        I just need a bunch of Poppa Pope reads on loop. I swear he uses losing Whitley as motivation to get into character

        • Val

          And I have no idea what you are talking about.

        • DomiMami

          Haha haha!
          Took it back to A Different World!

    • Annalise Keating

      “Scandal and Empire”

      Yes!

    • ChokeOnThisTea

      Yes to #1!!!

      • Kas

        Have never watched either show.

        • ChokeOnThisTea

          Never. Well, I watched a solid 4minutes of a Scandal episode and fell asleep.

          • Kas

            Probably tired from all the fighting you be doing in these e-streets.

            • ChokeOnThisTea

              Bwahahaha

          • DomiMami

            I did the same my first time seeing and episode of Scandal. I credit the pulling of 4 teeth, and subsequently 2 weeks on the couch with my getting hooked on Scandal.
            I’d you haven’t seen it from the 1st ep. It’s boring and dull.

        • Tambra

          You aint missing anything, though there are many out there who would disagree. I tried but I couldn’t get with the hype.

    • Lego

      I’m down with most of your list, I’d just swapped #2 for just Sports and #9 for San Francisco. But, Steven Universe?

      • Julian Green

        SU certainly looks pretty and all, but I can’t get with all the corny musical numbers and Steven is annoying as f*ck.

        • Lego

          Fair points.

        • Sigma_Since 93

          How you gonna hate on Steven and The Stevens?????

    • Cleojonz

      Umm… I was laughing at this list until I got to #12 and I’m just confused where that came from? lol. (I do know the show, I got kids)

      • Julian Green

        It puzzles me too. Steven Universe is a show that I should like, but it just doesn’t connect with me. Also, the musical numbers are way too corny.

  • Vanity in Peril

    Reading ur list like….

    Until I got to wine.

    • Val

      I actually don’t care about discussing wine but I care about drinking it.

      • Disinterested 3rd Party

        All that needs to be discussed is “Where is it?” or “Do we need to get more?”

        • Jennifer

          #QuestionsThatNeedAnswers

        • Kas

          Love wine, but as I’ve gotten older, it doesn’t love me back.

          • Kemse

            This has been my experience with beer.

            Beer has become so cruel to me :’-(. All I ever did was love it, it’s not fair lol.

          • Disinterested 3rd Party

            I’m the opposite. It’s all I can really manage at my advanced age. Hard liquor and beer are off the table, except for the occasional martini.

      • Vanity in Peril

        I love all wine but Riesling which is best served in the trash. Or dessert wine. Or anything with a twist cap that isn’t port.

        • Val

          See, VIP, that was a discussion about wine. I feel asleep at Riesling. Lol

          • Vanity in Peril

            Lol

          • Cleojonz

            LOL! Too many words!

        • BrownBearBear

          I’ll hit up a decent French or German Riesling only if it’s paired with a dessert. But if you roll up in my house with Moscato. I’m going to judge you hard, clutch my pearls and send you upon your way. But no lie there’s a lot of decent wines out there that are screw tops. It actually keeps wine more fresh. Also there’s wine that comes in juice boxes that are good. But this is the Cali kid talking who is thinking about what’s easiest to drink at the beach or the park. I’m still learning about these “day parties” you east coast folk keep talking about. We just call that Saturday or Sunday out here.

      • Kas

        Don’t talk about it, be about it.

      • Kemse

        Priorities.

        I learned just enough about wine to be able to consistently pick the flavor profile I like.

        Any extended conversation about wine that does not result in or involve me partaking of wine can happen with someone else.

        • Jennifer

          This. I love winery tours and one guide I had gave me my wine a-ha moment. She basically told us, “F*** what you heard. No amount of sniffing, swirling, or whatever is gonna help improve the taste of the wine. Either you like or you don’t.” Simple enough.

          • Kas

            Blind taste tests consistently show most people can’t tell the difference between high end and low end wines.

          • Kemse

            My kinda guide!

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