11 Things That Men Do That Are Attractive ONLY If You’re Interested » VSB

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11 Things That Men Do That Are Attractive ONLY If You’re Interested

This picture has nothing to do with the post. Shoutouts to the northeast.

This picture has nothing to do with the post. Shoutouts to the northeast.

Recently, I came across a slight ridiculous and mostly no-sh*t-Sherlock list on Huffington Post (courtesy of Reddit) entitled, “The 11 Most Attractive Things That Men Do Without Even Realizing It”. While I can appreciate a list like this existing and being curated via a question from somebody asking what men do that that we O.E.N.O. that has the lady parts flourishing, I side-eyed this list with the passion of a Peyton Manning interception. Mostly because just like with anything else in life, all things are attractive when you’re interested. EVERYTHING.

Why? Well only ewe can make me do the things I do. Such as…be like say heffa say what at:

7. Concentrate hard. “I love the look a guy has on his face when he is trying to figure something out,” one user wrote. No know-it-alls required.”

Let’s just keep it onehunnid. Despite constantly telling us menfolks that we don’t deserve any cookies for just doing things your supposed to do (raising your kids, not going to jail, waking up in the morning, etc), women stay giving us cookies for things we’re just supposed to do (raising our own kids, not going to jail, waking up in the morning, etc). The fact that “thinking” was on a list of things that are attractive without us even knowing it is the reason why people keep watching Love & Hip-Hop. I will forever believe this. Also on this list are: “laugh out loud” “roll up one’s shirtsleeves” and “use eye contact” <—presumably at the strip club.

While the list does have some merit, I suppose, I’m not a woman afterall, I figured I’d go ahead and toss out a much more useful list. One with a bit more insight into the human condition…the Vidal Sassoon of the spirit if you will. A bit of Garnier Fructis for the soul. So here are 11 things that men do that are attractive ONLY if you’re interested in him.

1. Talk about marriage

If a woman is interested and you don’t seem like an axe murderer, telling her that you’re going to marry her (even on the first date) isn’t the most stalkerish thing you can do. Meanwhile, if she’s NOT interested in you, jokingly texting her a marriage proposal leads to screenshots, restraining orders, and relocations. No matter WHEN you do it.

In the same vein…

2. Talking about having children

Here’s the “does she like me” test: tell a chick you want to give her a baby. If she’s feeling you, she’ll laugh and make some comment about what the combination of your genes would produce. If she’s not? Well, consider that love connection more dead than, hey…did y’all know that Chuck Woolery is still alive?

3. Show Up Uninvited

PSA: Never EVER do the drop by house visit without calling first. There are too many technological advancements available to you that renders any excuse for not touching base a complete lie at worst and a perfect storm of unfortunate events at best. But, you are MUCH less likely to get cursed out if she actually likes you. The first time, it might be a shock but could be considered romantic (hence the attractive part) as long as you have a plan. Like, show up and say, hey, let’s go. Don’t talk just listen (*cue DeVante keyboard riff*). But if she doesn’t f*ck with you my rap? Yeah…that is going to go soooooooooo badly.

Don’t show up uninvited, people.

4. Be the center of attention

If she likes you, she will love that you can work a room and socialize. It’s like honeysuckle breeze to women. They love a confident man who is in full control. Then there’s the other end where you’re just an arrogant f*ck who needs attention. You might as well be Rich Dollaz.

5. Call and/or text repeatedly

Who are we kidding, nobody makes phone calls anymore. That sh*t ain’t cute. She likes you, you’re being attentive and giving her attention. She doesn’t, you’re a motherlovin’ bugaboo. “Why does this fool keep textin’ me…DAMN!”

6. Take seflies

It is a commonly held belief that men shouldn’t take selfies. I piss all over this assertion because how else are you supposed to document the hot dog you are eating at the time. Selfies are daily journal entries. Well, as long as your boo is feeling you, they’re cute and she likes the way you stand at that 74 degree angle with your hat bill facing the sun at the just the ring angle to allow the angels of heavens to dance the macarena in your eyes. Reverse that and you know how she feels if she can’t stand your bum ass.

7. Breathe

She likes you, its cute when you breathe. She doesn’t? She wishes you’d stop. Oh my bad, that’s number 12 on the HuffPo list.

8. Be an idealist

You know, one of those people who spends his time dreaming of the next level while having no clue how to get there? Yeah, that sh*t cute my nword. Until it isn’t. You’re really just a broke dude who probably lives with your momma if she ain’t interested. There’s nothing attractive about being broke.

9. Colorblocking

You fashionable motherf*cker, you. Well, either that or, “why does he look like a bag of Skittles?” There’s very little middle ground.

10. Rapping/Producing

Probably the truest litmus test of interest. Women who like you will support your dreams and find creative so aphrodisiasical. The rest of the female populace just thinks you’re a clown, Krusty.

11. Blogging

A close cousin to rapping/producing. When women like you, you’re a writer. And writers are attractive because they have a way with words. And chicks dig words. When they don’t, you’re just a motherf*cker with some random blog that nobody gives two f*cks about. Trust me, I’m a blogger.

What else you got? What is attractive ONLY if you like him (they like us)?

Talk to me.



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Panama Jackson

Panama Jackson is pretty fly (and gorgeous) for a light guy. He used to ship his frito to Tito in the District, but shipping prices increased so he moved there to save money. He refuses to eat cocaine chicken. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. Most importantly, he believes the children are our future. You can hit him on his hitter at panamadjackson@gmail.com.

  • Guest

    Men should not take selfies. Ever.

    • Andrea

      Something about those shirtless ones has become increasingly revolting to me, and the opposite of masculine.

      • Not all men are masculine or aim to be seen as such and even those that do, do not define it the way you do.

        • Andrea

          I hear you.

      • nillalatte

        Like the Red Hot Chili Peppers at halftime? Ugh. I’m so over men thinking that’s cute. Put some damn clothes on. White boys. Ugh.

        • They didn’t look bad to me.

        • Keep it 100…if that was, say, Idris Elba or D’Angelo, not only would you want them shirtless, but you’d pray for a wardrobe malfunction that would pull off their pants and underwear. :)

          • #ButifIdris

            • nekked Idris does nothing for me. Idris in a Luther-type role where he can use his native accent? HEY-YOOOO!!!

              • ratchet dialogue

                Whaaaat?!?! Blasphemy. A nekkid Idris would have me at the mortuary, dead and readdddy for a funeral from heart failure.

      • That’s nothing to do with masculinity toaliks point, but I will say ur right with men seemingly trying to be “sexy” but hey whAt ever works playa

      • miss t-lee

        It never looks right.

    • JayIzUrGod

      Then chicks need to stop throwing panties at the pics.

    • TheHumanSpider

      That would be a good idea if there still wasn’t a percentage of menfolk who believe that their shirtless selfish should be their avi. *shudders*

      • Y’all some A1 salty menfolk. Take your shirtless selfies, be bare chested, be shaved, be hairy! SHOW AP DEM PECTORALS DADDDDDDDYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!

      • *shots fired at Kozy?*

        • Kozy has a tank on. It is approved.

          • afronica

            …quite approved

        • Kozy

          wait a minute….

          • Dont worry Koze, we got yo back *loads rifle, protects Kozy’s avis*

      • I dont care if its the best tweet ever, I’m not RTing a shirtless man in my timeline yo

        • Joel

          ^ Fact.

    • Lies. I’m over here basking in the selfies of a well endowed man taking print pics. Take your selfies men! Take them. Send them to me! Attach your number! I may be young but I’m RED-AAAAAyyyyyyyyyy!!!!

      • panamajackson

        If I feel like taking a selfie. I’m taking a selfie. Then I will hashtag at is #realnwrodstakeselfiesthenhashtagsaidselfiewithrealnwordstakeselfies

      • TheHumanSpider

        Anytime, my damie, I’ll sign yo pity on the runny kine…

      • Msdebbs

        Careful those selfies turn into print pics then eventually you’ll have an inbox full of dictures….don’t ask me how I know ????

        • You must have missed the part where I said I was lusting over print pics. I’m pro print pics. Show me ya outline!!!!! I wanna see the bulge!!!!!

          • ratchet dialogue

            Serge Ibaka, please and thank you. That man, I never knew of his existence, or rather I was ignorant of his existence until I saw what he is working with. He and I would have a great working relationship. Yezzzzzir!

          • print pic > dicture


    • panamajackson

      I’m taking a selfie right now. My avatar? Selfie. Selfie deez.

      • h.h.h.

        got a selfie as my avatar right now…i got that Snoop Lion mane, yahmean

    • Kozy

      Is it still a selfie if you ask someone to take the picture of you? does the middle man negate the intent? hmm…..

      • Only if the pic came with instructions. “Hey bruh, take this pic of me holding this bottle of D’usse….take the pic from this angle…take off the auto-flash…get my watch in the pic….ready? aight, 1, 2, 3….lemme see…hmm…nah, take another one”

        • Kozy

          “lemme see…hmm…nah, take another one”


          my sister actually stopping talking to a dude because of something like that. she said they had a friend take a picture of them and they both said “lemme see it” at the same time.

          she swore off light skinned dudes after that.

          • camilleblue

            I’ve got a friend that stopped talking to a dude bc he takes mad selfies on Instagram. Still in the bed with ‘cold’ in his eye, eating, driving, working out…yeah…and of course she got the uninvited #dyckpic. Which was the deal breaker bc…well…he cudda kept that smidgen (literally) to himself. Smh…

      • Guest

        Hmmm… good question.

    • naw. I’m not going to travel all the way up to Harlem for a photographer when I want a picture of myself. Selfies forever.

    • I am here for all the selfies. Just tilt your head slightly different every now and again. I wanna see every angle.

  • Number 10 expanded = any type of creative work that isn’t helping you make money.

    • Pretty much the difference between passion and a hobby is how much she’s feeling u

      • panamajackson

        This is on some Tupac levels of the realest sh*t you ever wrote.

      • For me, it’s plan. I can’t get behind a man with no plan for his passion, because then it’s just an aimless hobby.

        • Yea, no plan = all talk. However, sometimes the “plan” requires you to make some choices that most people might see as crazy. Following your passions can be a huge risk if taken seriously and many women aren’t trying to hear that.

          • The thing is that if a woman is worth anything, she’ll at least say “well, I’m not feeling these parts, but what about…” If someone is dedicated and open to supporting the man, most men would be very OK with that.

            • I guess. That’s the position I’m playing now, really. Walking the tightrope of being supportive and realistic without crushing wings. Even if you do say “I’m not feeling these parts,” you have to be very careful not to make the other person feel limited/ held back.

        • You need a plan AND talent. I may be passionate about MMA, but my scrawny tinkerbell azz aint making it far in that cage lol…..We all need passion, a plan, talent, and good friends to hit us with the “girl….no” if we are doing the most.

          • You and I are on the same wavelength. I also mentioned that if said lady doesn’t think you got talent? It’s a no-go.

        • afronica

          Does that mean there’s no country for something that is just a hobby, something enjoyable that he’s not trying to convert into his life’s work?

          • Freebird

            do you mean something that adds to his life and not necessarily his $

          • Freebird

            do you mean something that adds to his life and not necessarily his $

          • Freebird

            do you mean something that adds to his life and not necessarily his $

            • afronica


  • iamnotakata

    10. Rapping/Producing

    Probably the truest litmus test of interest. Women who like you will support your dreams and find creative so aphrodisiasical. The rest of the female populace just thinks you’re a clown, Krusty.

    False!! I’ll never support this…ughh every other guy in Houston was a supposed rapper…no thanks”

    A combination of 1-3 can land you in the he’s a creep zone…

    Things that are attractive when you like someone…sh*t talking…

    • JayIzUrGod

      I view rapping/producing as the male equivolent of the female internet model. One day she don’t know how to use a computer, 2 months later she’s making duck faces poking her chest out on a hi-def pic in front of a tree.

      Uh uh.

      • Andrea

        What is the goal of female internet models…is it like King Magazine?

        • JayIzUrGod

          I sincerely don’t know…..like I really would like an answer because most of them don’t get far, so you basically giving away free half nude shots for everybody to see.

        • iamnotakata

          There is no goal, most of them are either narcissist or have really low self esteem and thrive off the attention of basics on the internet. Real models don’t show their goods for free. But this is something their regular ass*s will never understand.

          The even sadder part is most of those booty magazines don’t pay them.

          • JayIzUrGod

            Free publication equals better exposure…or so these girls are told on the casting couch.

          • Msdebbs

            Really??? Whats the point then?There’s no way I’m gonna have my azz all over a magazine with out a check.

            • TheHumanSpider

              Exposure. No such thing as bad publicity. Trying to parlay it into an acting gig or more. Which rarely, if ever, happens.

              • ratchet dialogue

                Uh uh. These girls ain’t trying to get acting gigs! If you tell me video vixen gigs, I’ll totally agree!

            • panamajackson

              Checks come. Just ask Nike.

              Wait, what?

          • Seriously? My understand is that, while they don’t get filthy rich off the pics, you can cobble together a living if you hustle enough.

            • True, but most these internet models get 10000 followers and only know how to turn that into $200 club appearances

              • panamajackson

                But then you got Melyssa Ford who doesn’t want to be a club model but they’re offering her $5k an appearance, and she’d rather struggle to sell real estate…in NYC.

                She sucks at moving apartments in NYC. That’s like sucking at it in DC. She needs to do better.

                • ratchet dialogue

                  C’mon! She just started. Give her a break.

                  • Andrea

                    I don’t understand why they were giving her such a hard time about doing appearances. I would think your friends would want you to eat.

                  • panamajackson

                    yeah. no. she admits she basically sucks at it.

                    • ratchet dialogue

                      Lmao! And here I am defending her like I’m her lawyer.

                • mmm hmmm

          • Instamodels give their “product” away for shoutouts while those same pages are using these thirst traps to sell clothes and wigs

          • True story: an associate of mine runs a sexy photo site and one day, a friend said, “Has X asked if he could shoot (photograph) you yet?” How did they know?!?! Because my associate asks pretty much every woman he meets if he can shoot them half nakee, for free. And most agree. That was THE creepiest thing ever.

            • The thing is I don’t know who is worse in this equation: dude for using his camera to creep on women or the women for agreeing to it. If I understand correctly, he’s not exactly forcing them to take photos at gunpoint. *smh*

              • No, he’s not forcing anyone at all. They love that isht: “Free exposure!” lol. It was creepy to ME for someone to guess that he’d ask me…because I’m not in the least bit modeling inclined…and it means he’s pretty free about asking women to get naked for him.

                • TheHumanSpider

                  In his defense, the fact that photographer dude hasn’t asked you means he respect you, and the fact that somebody else asked means they were trying to see…


                  I digress. I wouldn’t mind doing the photography thing involving women. Just been having my hangups. Plus, I ain’t exactly a charmer in a non-awkward sense. But dude was able to (successfully) parlay his bravery, so more power to him.

                  • NoOO, I’m saying the photographer DID ask. lol. As for the other half of your statement, YES. I peep game.

                    But, also in the photog’s defense, he’s a good photographer, his eye for the sensual is also good, and by all accounts he treats his subjects with respect.

                    Still not interested in being one of them. lol

                    • TheHumanSpider

                      Gotcha. But nah, it ain’t for everybody and everybody ain’t necessarily down, so more power to you.

          • Yoles

            those booty magazines DON’T pay?!?!?! that aint right.. after all the makeup and baby oil and strategic posing… not right i say

        • panamajackson

          I feel like you’re ceiling is Tahiry. Low point is Nya Lee. From LHHNY.

          • Cant I just aspire to be a strip club bartender like Cyn?

            • Kema

              That sounds like fun!

      • “for bookings, email DisBroadGotAzzForDAYS@gmail.com SERIOUS INQUIRIES ONLY!!”

        • I’m still waiting on Karamel Kitten to parlay her twerk videos into profits, but she has yet to do so… especially considering the new-found popularity of these twerk-out classes being held by non-Black people

          • The strippers here in Atlanta are getting hip to game, and are renting out studios and hosting pole dancing classes and ish like that…and these bishes are making BANK….just takes a lil bit of ingenuity and common sense lol

            • Glad to hear that somebody is making dollars out of sense. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Ee6mHzZQOY

              This chick already has a following, but doesn’t know how to capitalize on it. That’s sad.

              • she stooopid.

                • Right! If she was a tad bit smarter she could rake in the dough, instead of twerking at the bus-stop and getting arrested.

                  • TheHumanSpider

                    Things is, I believe girl is just having fun with the sh!t, and naturally got a (fast) following (because who doesn’t like Twerk videos) because of that.

              • Jesus.

              • Lol @ old Det. Tubbs shutting it all the way down

              • Yoles

                doesn’t youtube pay people that have large followings??

                • Yes….but you have to get over 100k views before they start talking money.

                  • Her vids consistently pull around 300K views

                    • Not bad. So between the vids and the Skype shows, she’s paying her bills.

              • Word. She out here doing like 100 dollar skype shows for a half hour. COME ON MAN

        • JayIzUrGod

          “Got them head shot portfolio pics, all Photoshopped of course. Please verify before intial meeting whether this is a clothes-on or clothes-off interview, i don’t have time for games”,

          *flips hair and power struts away*

          • JayJay the Body #TwerkForTheLadies

            • JayIzUrGod

              I charge $10 a pump, let them figure it out

      • Wait! Why the hip-hop hate? No one would say anything if the guy was an inspiring R&B or NeoSoul singer. In fact, I’m sure most of the ladies would appreciate a guy sweetly singing to them. Why the distinction between the two?

        • Simple: because R&B and NeoSoul are thought to be pandering to women, while Hip-Hop isn’t.

          • nawl, bruh. I saw an “R&B” singer at a show sanging, “Follow me like Twitterrrr.” We would’ve been broken up POSTHASTE. Struggle R&B runs on demo tracks are equally eyebrow raising.

            • So, would you have been quicker to let go of a struggling J. Cole or a struggling Maxwell?

              • I said upthread, PLAN. If all I hear is “Im’a do….” and I see no work, no footprints, no hustle? hmph.

                But also, and this is subjective, if I secretly dont’ believe you got talent…welp.

              • ratchet dialogue

                Jcole still struggling! Roc nation is definitely not about putting any marketing monies on a non money maker. Can’t blame them. There is hope for him in the modeling world. He pretty enough.

        • No sir. Rapping and whispersinging get the same amount of side eyes lol

        • panamajackson

          I’m pretty sure you can just toss “aspiring artist” right where I put rapper/producer and the “theory” holds the same.

          • I’d actually listen longer if you say “my passion is music” rather than “I am the CEO of [insert basic phrase] Records”

            • CEO of Get Scrilla Entertainment Company.


              • No sir. Make It Rain Records has no love from me lol. I would never in the history of life be attracted to someone like Rich Dollas lol

                • But hey. There is Cash Money Records.

                  • But they came outta Louisiana, which is almost like its own foreign country lol

                  • sunshyne84

                    Takin ova fo the 99 and the 2000

          • True. Level of talent plays a major difference though.

            I can support an aspiring artist if the talent is apparent.

            When the level of talent is questionable, that’s when people need truth and tough love.

            But, even that can be shaky because I’ve seen the hottest emcees remain without a deal while garbage rappers somehow are able to get a record deal and push units.

          • Unless you get your degree in it of course then it’s legit.

            • Not even then. Starving artist with an MFA is still a starving artist. He just has more debt.

              • Just speaking from personal experience. Reaction about my career choices after knowing school > reaction to my career choices without knowing school

                • I’ll cop to that. File that under “plan.” :)

                  • Just formal training means a lot to some people. Moreso than the actual work put in and finished product at times.

        • Yoles

          hip-hip/rap is a young mans game (yes there are rare exceptions but come on son) if you are still trying to break into the industry at 35+ you lost… its like trying to become a professional athlete (NFL/NBA etc) in your 30s… its OVER…

          someone can luck up into singing looking different and being older, theres a market for that… you can start by being a background singer or something and catch a break even at 35

          • Charles Bradley released his debut album at the young age of 62! It was one of the best albums of 2011.

            • miss t-lee

              He’s coming to Austin in a few months, can’t wait to catch him live.

          • Word. Two Chains is the only rapper than got big after 30. Even then, it wasn’t like dude was working a 9 to 5. He was still around the industry, making a little money here and there. He just caught a break.

            • miss t-lee

              Even then, he’d been in the game for quite some time.

            • You could also add Plies to the list. He was 30 or 31 when he dropped his debut.

          • This is true. I always tell aspiring rappers and singers to look into broadcast or print journalism if they do not succeed as an artist. The connections are already established. Become an entertainment columnist or reporter for a local publication and/or network. You can do this well into your 40s.

          • afronica

            Found out that someone’s passion was to be a sports journalist. Except he was 38 and had never taken a journalism, communications, phys ed or sports med class. He had never coached or called high school games. When I asked why he thought he would succeed instead of the legions of men who have thought of being commentators, he said because he was a sports fanatic.

            And that was a wrap. smh

        • JayIzUrGod

          I can’t find singers anywhere, i can ALWAYS find novice rappers and producers.

    • Girl you and I are >>>>here<<<<<
      No room for the struggling rapper in my heart!!

      • What if he has a day-job and works hard to cultivate his dream after-hours. You still wouldn’t support? That’s pretty cold.

        • Theres a fine line. Super fine. Because my experience has shown me that after hours=stealing time from us and our relationship in pursuit of being the next Mike Will. Many will try, few will succeed…..

          • Oh you’re selfish. You’d rather a man live a mundane life and allow his passions to die, in lieu, of being with you? Whoa!

            • Chile please!! I simply said that I prefer a person who wont need to be in the studio till 4am, at the club promoting all wknd, and hoping to squeeze our relationship in on Tuesday evenings lol. I’m an abstract artist, I understand the time and commitment it takes to sustain a passion. But just as everyone doesnt have to wanna date me, that doesnt mean I have to date em while they pursue.

  • Send her a bouquet of flowers at her workplace. Thank God I’ll never have to do that again! It’s amazing what you can accomplish when you give up hope, LMAO!!!

  • JayIzUrGod

    Offering up money for no real reason.

    It’s one thing if she’s in a real bad spot and you offer a couple of duckets to help smooth things over. But if you just whipping the cash out because she’s out of butter and nail polish when she might be making more money than you…kill yoself, bi t ch die TODAY.

    • Kema

      Nah… That’s good whether I like you or not. :-D

      • JayIzUrGod

        Until he acts like he owns you or you him something huh?

        • Kema

          I cant control how he acts. That can happen whether he offers money or not. I can control what I put up with.

          • JayIzUrGod

            This is true but what usually starts off as cute becomes a problem, like for the guy that thinks money solves all problems

  • Andie

    I think when your on a date on Valentine’s day it heightens your sensitivity to errythang on the list . ‘And subject to the world’s most awkward dinner where both parties
    have a tangible sense of “really?” where neither is sure why the hell
    they are there. Do you want to spend a c-note on dinner for a
    person like that? Then afterwards you will have the tangible feeling
    that you may owe this person. You don’t need that feeling, especially
    in a tough economy.’

  • NomadaNare

    12. Try to have sekts

    if a woman is really into you, when you try to have sekts with her she won’t laugh in your face or treat you like a leper. She will instead reciprocate with the sekts. Did I win the internets yet?

  • Calling a woman anything out of her name. Strictly for live men, not for freshmen…

    • Or for the white girls that date primarily Black dudes…trust me, I’ve seen stuff…
      *shots fired*

  • Msdebbs

    I don’t really I have an answer for this silly list but I’m sure the male version would include something along the lines of bending over and being naked.

    • I don’t know. A woman who can probably be over instantly become attractive imo.

    • TheHumanSpider

      I mean…

      That’s like the cheat code to life and stuff…

  • TheHumanSpider

    “Laugh out loud” has to be #12 on THIS list, and removed from the Huffington Post list.

    Only because, my laugh is one that is loud. So when I do laugh (out loud), I get funny looks. Then I gotta explain what I’m laughing at/why I’m laughing. Which means explaining a joke. Which rarely goes well.

    • IcePrincess

      Mane f*ck all that. Life is to short to be stifling laughs. I laugh loud too. In public. I ignore the glances that may come my way, I just figure it let’s them kno that the person I’m with & I are having the most fun in the room. Timid is one thing I am not. Next time something is funny, throw your head back & LAUGH my dude. Let them eat cake!

      • panamajackson

        Right. We stifling our happiness outchea. F*ck that, take drugs.

        • IcePrincess

          I like smokin weed I like gettin fly! Woah ohhhhhohhhhh

          • TheHumanSpider

            iChuckled. Loudly. At my own house.

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