Welcome to hip-hop week here at VSB.com. I decided that I might as well take a week to look at “love” from a hip-hop standpoint since hip-hop is what I do.
Panama = Hip-Hop.
Bounce bitch.
I’m also sexxy, but you already knew that.
Ahem.
So, today we shall examine some of the worst hip-hop love songs out there. Ready? Mmkay. Allons-y.
What does that mean? Well, it means that the songs don’t quite exemplify love like as we think of it.
By the by, this isn’t to say that these songs are bad, they just suck as love songs. Follow the leader.
(All links are to youtube and will open in a new window.)
Mostly because I just hate this song. Like for real. Hate it.
9) Luke - I Wanna Rock (Doo Doo Brown)
I mean, this song isn’t even about love. Plus, Luke’s too demanding, always shouting out directions. What woman would stick around (no pun intended) with a man who was always telling her what to do. That’s not love.
What list about love songs is complete without Cam’ron? And if you consider that “Hey Ma” was supposed to be their softer side song and it still ended up being about getting dome on the Westside Highway, well, love isn’t in the air. Might be all over the car though.
Heh heh heh.
7) Ying Yang Twins – Wait (The Whisper Song)
Great song. Just misguided on the love tip. For one, they whisper too much and women like it when a man proclaims his love loudly. Then again, if that’s not your thing, then you can just wait til you see his (oooh).
6) DJ Quik – Sweet Black P*ssy
I mean, one COULD look at it as an ode to Black women everywhere. Then again, one COULD look at HIV as population control. It’s not really recommended, however.
“…when we’re hugging and kissing and you want to get mushy girl, you best be prepared to f*ck…”
So impatient.
Great song though.
And since we’re talking about DJ Quik…
5) Snoop Doggy Dogg and Family – Ain’t No Fun
Sharing is caring and all relationships need more sharing. Though somehow, I just don’t think this is what Ms. Manners has in mind. The funny thing is that this song is “dedicated” to all the ladies.
4) AMG – B*tch Betta Have My Money
Now this just happens to be one of the greatest songs of all time. Of course, you can’t exactly tell your date that and she’ll be like, ‘oh yeah, that song is beautiful’. Then again, this song is about coming correct with the money and isn’t finances one of the reasons that marriages are failing? If she comes with the money then they can get their finances straight and people will stay married. Right??? Heh heh heh.
First line, “life’s a b*tch, so I married one/but a n*gga in love with a b*tch is very dumb”
Okay then. You can see where this one is going – nowhere good. Great damn song though, just kind of down on the love tip which sucks so much since the music just makes me want to hug unicorns.
2) Dr. Dre – B*tchez Ain’t Sh*t
You know, the sad thing here is that Snoop’s verse is about him having to kill his girl because she was cheating with Daz. It’s about a gangster who’s heart gets broken and has to pick himself up and overcome. If it wasn’t for the murder, this song would be on the greatest hip-hop love songs list.
Any song where these lyrics figure front and center is on some Ike and Tina stuff. Gander:
What the fuck y’all birds talking about?
Get the f*ck out my house
‘Fore I grab you by your hair and slap d*ck to your mouth
Bob Digi, yeah you know who is he
Girl, I fucking slave trade your ass like Kizzy Kinte
You wish you could f*ck
Bitch, all you can do is d*ck suck
And just in case you haven’t heard this song, here’s a few lines from the “hook”, and this just RZA’s issues, this doesn’t even mention what his chick is saying:
‘Cause you ain’t shit, and your mother ain’t shit
And your sister ain’t shit, and your pussy ain’t shit
That weave ain’t shit, your ass ain’t shit
Girl you ain’t shit, your daddy ain’t shit
***
I actually have a list with at least 30 more songs on it. So my hip-hop headers, what are some other hip hop songs that are terrible as long songs?
Keep bangin.
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGBHORHOOD 3
you’s a hater.. I need love is a great hip hop love song. Its poetic and soft yet not to in your face or demanding.. its not about s.e.x its about LL needing a chick to hold him …PLUS he used Unfurl …… get outta here..
I thought you were going to list songs that were billed as love songs but after further interpretation were not. I mean forgive me if Im wrong, but none of the songs besides LL and possibly the camron joint were “love songs” …so making a list saying this non love songs arent love songs is a bit redundant… right?
@shay_d_lady,
“you’s a hater”——lol!
and cosign.
@shay_d_lady,
you’s a hater.. I need love is a great hip hop love song.
Word.
@shay_d_lady,
DYING laughing at “you’s a hater!” BWAHAHAHA! “I Need Love” was the shiz.
That is all.
@CreoleInDC,
Yea LL was the nigg back then that was my shizzzz now he hella suspect tho
@CreoleInDC, “I Need Love” was the shiz”
I concur!
@shay_d_lady, Irony, meet Shay. Shay…Irony.
@Panama Jackson, umm how the F1ck was that irony? you dont really hate the song? LOL come on PJ you dont like it and youse a hater… just accept it…LOL
@shay_d_lady, lmao
“when i’m alone in my room i sit and and stare @ the wall”
The “suck on your neck” line in “I Need Love” was always cringe-worthy.
You forgot that song from the 504 Boys…I think. ‘I can Tell’ is the worse song ever.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QHOQ9lkfh9k
@An Uninspired Muse, We have the same brain. lol
@Nicki Sunshine,
“We have the same brain”
they have surgery for that, you know?
@The Champ, U are a hot mess.
@The Champ, i know, my e-momma suggested it, but i like being attached to gem.
@overit,
NAW AW HELL NAW!!!!!
that is the jam turn it up thas that old skoo track yall dont kno nuthin bout that. Brings back memories. Ahhhhhhh good times the 90′s was great man.
@overit,
what’s did i suggest? that my two e-babies be separated? nevah!
@An Uninspired Muse, that song inspires me to do good things
@Panama Jackson,
That song is where babies come from.
Soulja Boy’s “Kiss me Through the Phone” —-um, what?
and Webbie and Letoya had another song about kissing through phones (pronounced as “phoam,” of course) that also made me gag myself with a spoon.
@charli skipper, I like kiss me through my phone.. I think its age appropriate and the type of shyt 14 year olds should be listening to
@shay_d_lady, I was fittin to say the same thing. But i swear if I hear another 20 sumthin with this song as a ringtone, i will banish Soldja Boy and his minions to hell
@Peysonic Temple #69,
co-sign with a passion
@charli skipper,
Soulja Boy is that deal…y’all trippin’.
@charli skipper, you know Soulja Boy is a genius. he knows how to make songs that suck, but most 12 to 15 years olds dont realize it so they eat it up. and they get their parents to spend money, or they spend their parents money for them.
and thus, soulja boy is a millionaire and he turns his swag on every morning.
me? usually around 3pm, if i’m lucky.
oh, and that hurricane chris song. i can’t think of the name or the lyrics but it’s the one that samples some older (good) song and he talks about chex without a rubber with some girl in the jacuzzi. ewwwww.
@charli skipper,
it’s “fuh da ladies”
@charli skipper, hurricane chris can actually rap…when he wants to.
David Banner and Lil Flip- Like A Pimp
Nelly ft Kelly Rowland- Dilemma (i mean, if we adding songs we just hated)
Plies- Bust It Baby (Like for real…who even understands what the h_ll he is even saying?? And then he sampled “Come Back To Me”…everytime the intro was played on the radio i would get all happy, then immediately my stomach turned when i heard his voice)
DMX- What these B_tches Want? (Mad cuz my name was number 25 on the list…and who wants to be #25?…let me rephrase, cuz it wasnt me in particular he was talking about, but whenever i hear the name Katrina I tend to take it personally)
@trin-trin, Plies- Bust It Baby
and all of the remixes.. I mean he named them different things but all of his radio singles after this one aint nothing but bust it baby over and over and over again……
@shay_d_lady, Bust It Baby is one of the best worst songs of all time. hands down its going into the pantheon of terribly great horrible songs.
that and, “i got monaaaay”
@trin-trin,
Dilemma is absolutely the WORST!!!!! Don’t remake Patti!
@trin-trin,
David Banner and Lil Flip- Like A Pimp
Til this day, I love this song.
@miss t-lee,
So do I! I listen to it on weekends before I ride out.
@Dom,
Yes ma’am. Definitely a pre-game warmup!
@trin-trin,
DMX- What these B_tches Want? (Mad cuz my name was number 25 on the list…and who wants to be #25?…let me rephrase, cuz it wasnt me in particular he was talking about, but whenever i hear the name Katrina I tend to take it personally)
lol, anyone who can make a hit song by just naming names for an entire verse is aces in my book
@The Champ,
LOL!!!
It’s kinda like that Drake/Lil Wayne song where Wayne just starts reciting the alphabet on a verse.
@miss t-lee,
yeah, i just heard that foolywang this weekend. *sigh* for a second, i thought he was going to start singing ‘the wheels on the bus” or something next.
@blackberry molasses,
Right? Or a remix of “One of these things is not like the other.”
*snickering*
@miss t-lee, OOohhhh… hip hop nursery rhyme remixes!!!
I mean… since we already got “London Bridge” by that talentless being known as Fergie, why not keep it going:
The Rims On On My Truck
Twinkle Twinkle Goes My Ice
One of These H*s is Not Like the Others
Miss Mary IS a MACK.
@ blackberry molasses,
One of These H*s is Not Like the Others
Okay…you know I’m totally thinking about the Hip Hop Dalmatians right now don’t you?
@miss t-lee,
*singing*
The h*e is miiiiiiiiiiiiinnnne!
@miss t-lee, Didn’t somebody remix Do your ears hang low??….and call it Do yo chain hang low? and Luke Remixed if you’re happy and you know it years ago….
@klysha,
“Didn’t somebody remix Do your ears hang low??….and call it Do yo chain hang low?”
Yep…except it wasn’t a remix. It was a real freakin’ song, it was by some kat Jibbs.
I feel like Jibbs and Mims should be cousins.
@miss t-lee, or mack maine’s part: sanaa lathan, megan goode, angelina jolie, d. woods…
he’s right though, miley cyrus can holla in about 3 to 7 years.
@Panama Jackson,
Silliness!!!!
AND HOW CAN I FORGET
21 QUESTIONS- 50 CENT
THAT JAWN WAS FLAMING HOT DOO-DOO SHYT ON A STICK!!!! AND WOULD BE STUCK IN MY HEAD FOR DAYS IN 11TH GRADE
@trin-trin, whoa! 21 ?s was a cute lil track. don’t guys ask their woman ?s like that
@Satya,
“i love you like a fat kid love cake.”
nuff said
ummmm cant think of any hip hop songs at the moment but def
Let’s Get Married by Jagged Edge. thats some bull ISH…
“we aint gettin’ no younger.. we might as well do it” ??? really, N*gga?!
@CoCo,
I lovededed that song. But I definitely did have to side eye that part. I wish a nucca would try to propose to me like that.
@charli skipper, he might not say it, but he’s sho nuff thinkin it.
@CoCo, ummmm cant think of any hip hop songs at the moment but def
Let’s Get Married by Jagged Edge. thats some bull ISH…
“we aint gettin’ no younger.. we might as well do it” ??? really, N*gga?!
LOL can we also put all of their singles after the first one on this list? its like they made 1 good song and decided to just make sub par versions for the rest of their career…smh
@shay_d_lady,
Thank you!
I’ve been saying for years that after “Gotta Be,” Jagged Edge’s songs were all the same — in theme, in [slightly off-] key, in everything. I thought I was the only one.
@WordSmith,
jagged edge messed with a lota girls brains on that song I swar after “lets get married came out” breezys was playin it nonstop tryna drop hints. I played along a few times jus ta get some lol
@shay_d_lady, don’t be hating on JE. they made top quality ghetto odes.
they were like jahiem-lite.
@CoCo,
“we aint gettin’ no younger.. we might as well do it” ??? really, N*gga?!
Exactly! When I heard people playing that sh*t at weddings I was sooo confused. WTH is romantic or loving about that. “Well, I’m past my prime. Nobody else is checking for me or will put up with my lameness. I might as well go ahead and get with you. Aren’t you happy?!? You should be happy!” Eff that.
@CoCo,
I honestly never caught that until you just mentioned that. Does seem like a terrible reason to get married to say the least. Might as well have a baby too I ain’t got nothin to do Sunday lol
@CoCo, VSB: Where kneegrows extrapolate meanings out of songs that the writer clearly did not intend
@Peysonic Temple #69,
LOL
@Peysonic Temple #69,
lol
First of all, when I’m alone in my room I DO sometimes stare at my wall and in the back of my mind I DO hear my conscience call…so stop hating!
But hip-hop love songs that suck.
1.) ’03 Bonnie and Clyde – Boooo!
2.) Shawty by Plies – Double Boooo!
3.) What’s Luv by Fat Joe & Ashanti – Triple Booooo!
4.) Hey Lover by LL Cool J – I prefer videos/songs where LL eats peaches and watches a peep show. (I’m all about that. Word)
5.) All I Need by Meth & Mary J. Blige – I might catch h*lla flack for this but you don’t mess with Marvin. Period. Though I can’t fade Meth I want to choke MJB throughout. YOU DON’T MESS WITH MARVIN.
Bonus track (though actually R&B not hip-hop) –
My Boo – Usher & Alicia Keys. I hate overproduced, simple-minded, made specifically to get mainstream airplay, trying too hard to be a hit tracks. Alicia Keys really lowered herself on this song. Its like when Eddie Murphy followed his performance in Dreamgirls with Norbit.
@Madame Zenobia,
yass. this is a good list. i had forgotten all about “what’s luv.” i’m so glad those two jumped the shark.
@charli skipper,
They jumped the shark and Ja Rule got eaten by it. Thank God for that.
@Madame Zenobia, I co-sign the entire list.
@Madame Zenobia,
I loved hey lover lol.
@Madame Zenobia,
good list….
@Madame Zenobia,
“I hate overproduced, simple-minded, made specifically to get mainstream airplay, trying too hard to be a hit tracks”
so basically you hate when professional artists try to actually make money?
@The Champ, lol. right?
@The Champ,
Naw, I’m not saying I hate it when people try to make loot. I just hate a song like that where its made specifically to be on the radio every half hour on the half hour and has no substantive value whatsoever out of an artist like Alicia Keys. I guess I can let that sh*t slide with Usher, but Alicia can actually play and sing. Don’t get me wrong I’m not knocking “pop” truth be told I’ve felt Britney Spears’ last two singles (Womanizer & that Circus song) but there’s a difference to me between tracks like “The Real Slim Shady” or “Without Me” that have catchy hooks and are radio-ready but are still quintessentially Eminem versus a song like “My Boo” which is just some manufactured, overproduced beats paired with recycled mad-libs lyrics bullsh*t track marketed to dumba** sophomores in high school who think they’re so mad in love and My Boo is the deepest sh*t since Footsteps in the Dark.
@Madame Zenobia,
“5.) All I Need by Meth & Mary J. Blige – I might catch h*lla flack for this but you don’t mess with Marvin. Period. Though I can’t fade Meth I want to choke MJB throughout. YOU DON’T MESS WITH MARVIN”
Blasphemy. I rebuke you for that comment.
@mssmtaylor,
yea not mess with meth and mjb meth gave the guys a way to express themsleves without being sappy
@mssmtaylor,
REBUKE!?! That’s funny. I’m sorry. I grew up listening to Marvin and all the old school. Honest to goodness I wasn’t allowed to listen to hip-hop until I was 14. No BS. So while I dig Meth’s lyrics, MJB drives me nuts. Though I heard them perform it live somewhere and I did like it – that one time.
@Madame Zenobia,
Hey Lover!?! You just hated!! That song was fire….
But i think the was song EVER is by some chick I don’t know her name but I know the corny a** line:
“I’m not afraid of lions and tigers and bears, but I’m afraid of loving you…”
WTF! B**** are you serious ?
@Toussaintthefree,
That would be the musical stylings of Jazmine Sullivan…lol
@miss t-lee, she looks liek a lion, tiger, and a bear hybrid. i think we’d call that bigerlion.
or a Rick Ross.
@Panama Jackson, oh shiz i ljust choked at “call that bigerlion”
@Panama Jackson,
I’m so done right now…lmao
Not a hip-hop song but I think it was R. Kelly who made that song Half on a Baby. Seriously. Half on a Baby. Tell me I’m not the only one who sees a problem with this.
@A-Town Genius,
But it’s such a good chex song! LOL I do agree tho, he makes it seem like they’re going out to dinner and wanna go dutch.
@A-Town Genius,
Everyone always talks about how much a genius
ChesterR. Kelly is but he has some pretty terrible songs in his catalogue:-Half On a Baby
-You Remind Me of My Jeep
-Ignition (Remix)
-Move Your Body Like a Snake
-Feeling on Your Booty
…etc….
F-ck R. Kelly (yeah i said it)
@Naturally Alise,
Kels is the ORIGINATOR of whack-azz h*- shit songs
@Naturally Alise,
I hate that Feeling on Your Booty song. It’s so dumb and juvenille (then again look who we are talking about). Kelly was almost a senior citizen when he wrote it.
@Naturally Alise,
I dunno Kells used ta have the panties droppin hella quick. Chocoalte factory was the shizzzzzzz. I like Kells on the mic but cant co-sign for him off the mic
@Naturally Alise, and these are just a sampling of Kels’ hits… he also has a lesser known song about making jungle love that I had the displeasure of hearing a little while ago… complete with jungle noises such as “oooh oooh oooh ahh ahh ahh”
@klysha,
I am sad for your ears and your cerebrum. They should not be tortured thusly.
@Naturally Alise,
I feel you. I’ve always felt R. Kelly’s genius was in the melodies he used and never ever the lyrics. Not gonna lie though some Kells and a VSS makes for a long and successful night
1. 504 Boys: I Can Tell (just too explicit)
2. Jaime Foxx: Just Like Me (why is T.I. rapping about cheating?)
3. Rick Ross: Here I Am (Rawse- ‘nough said)
4. Jadakiss: Knock Yourself Out (it’s a hot song, but there’s nothing romantic about it)
@Nicki Sunshine,
I’m like BIG with the murda mommies up in Belize/
But I’ll still f*** a chickenhead like Lil Cease
—————————————————–
Whats not romantic about that?
@Dorian G., LMAO!!! U awready know that is not chexy.
@Dorian G.,
lol, that line actually got called out by hiphopsite.com as one of the gayest of the year.
@Nicki Sunshine, Why you hating on the biggest boss that you have seen thus far?
@Peysonic Temple #69, What is UP WITH YOUR NAME? lol.
Sexy for him is nonexistant.
@Peysonic Temple #69, LMAO.
@Nicki Sunshine,
Not to mention on Here I Am the dude singing the hook might have the most annoying, non-talented voice I’ve ever heard
@A-Town Genius, I have to agree with you here.
@Nicki Sunshine,
I hate Nelly’s verse. I hate that Nelly came out of hiding for this particular song. I hate Nelly.
I particularly hate this bar from Nelly:
The previous was a test for ya, now you in the big leagues/
A black Steinbrenner who wouldn’t wanna play for me?
@WordSmith,
“I hate Nelly’s verse. I hate that Nelly came out of hiding for this particular song. I hate Nelly. ”
I love you for writing that… I concur and shyt!
@Naturally Alise, Nelly is like the nursery rhyme king.
@WordSmith, I hate Nelly too. i been wanting to slap the dogsh*t out of him for years.
Anything that the Black Eyed Peas have made since adding Fergie to the group.
Mystikal’s “P(You fill in the blanks) Crook”-Even though it makes me laugh uncontrollably.
Two Recent ones that have made me say WTF?
Plies f/Ashanti “Want It Need It”-I think I’m more upset they jacked up that sample by the Deele
Mike Jones f/ Ashanti “Next To You”- You see where I’m going with Ashanti?
Duice-Dazzey Dukes—I still have this cassette single. *wall slide*
That’s all I got right now…lol
@miss t-lee,
Ashanti and Plies aaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrggggh!!! Can’t stand it I mean he says..
I Like the way you use me??
How now in the name of all the lice on this planet and the bacteria that seem to emanate from his mouth how the fukkiditttyduck do you come up with that?
@MLYK,
Your comment seriously just had me laughing real loud!!!! hahahahha
@MLYK,
I also believe in this song he says…
How could something so gutter be so sweet
You have to hear it for yourself to believe it but this is coming from the guy who went to sleep real and woke up realer so there’s that
@miss t-lee,
“Duice-Dazzey Dukes—I still have this cassette single. *wall slide*”
Please hold your head down in shame. You really couldn’t find a better way to spend that money?
@Humble_One,
I was 14 thank you…lol
@miss t-lee,
Poor excuse. I bought Death Certificate at 14.
@Humble_One,
I have that one as well.
And what?!
@miss t-lee,
It doesn’t count if you bought because you saw Barbershop last weekend.
@ Humble_One,
Please sit down and stop trying to play me.
@Humble_One, great great retort.
@miss t-lee,
Duice-Dazzey Dukes—I still have this cassette single. *wall slide*
I used to loveded that song…
1) Luke – Work It Out
2) Kool G Rap – Talk Like Sex
3) Mase – Tell Me What You Want
(I still have beef with this dude and Jay-Z for making pretty boys think they could be hard)
4) Hot Boyz – I Need A Hot Girl
5) Missy Elliot – Hot Boyz
(How are you going to make a song about liking street dudes and have Ginuwine in the video?)
@Humble_One, “4) Hot Boyz – I Need A Hot Girl”
That was my jam. lol
@Nicki Sunshine,
Why am I not surprised?
@Humble_One,
***shots fired***
@Nicki Sunshine,
Me too, I used to jam that so hard in the dorms and in the club! LOL
@Nicki Sunshine,
“I Need A Hot Girl” was my shyt. Talk about memories…LOL!!
@Humble_One,
not ashamed to admit that #4 AND #5 are my jawns and I know all the words and I might hit you if you say one more thang bout those wonderful works of musical genious!!! lol
@SxyScientst,
You probably saw nothing wrong with the shiny suit era. Let me guess. You have all of the singles Ja Rule and Ashanti made together?
@Humble_One,
Now that was LOW! This has nothing to do with Mase’s slobbery mouth and Puffy’s sparkly videos…I was young and impressionable and desperate to exscape my middle class suburban roots for the gritty reality of the streets. Real thugs wore solja reeboks LMAO…
@SxyScientst,
You get a pass due to your middle class suburban roots.
@Humble_One,
ashanti and JaRUle was a match made in heaven on wax. I still hava crush and Ashanti and she still can get it
@Humble_One, I have beef with you for thinking Jay-Z is pretty anything besides freakin rich
@Peysonic Temple #69,
I share your beef.
@WordSmith, hmm. y’all ninjas sharing meat?
@Humble_One, (How are you going to make a song about liking street dudes and have Ginuwine in the video?)
Dude is so cornball
@Yaa,
yea aint nuthin gangsta about ginuwine and he super s-curl. I have all his cds tho thas my dogg
@BLUNTBLAZER,
His cd’s were definitely bangin’ with the dope Timbo production. That’s what missing in R&B right now.
@Humble_One,
“Missy Elliot – Hot Boyz”
You mentioning this reminds me of “Soldier” by Destiny’s Child
I’m singing “Hot boyz, baby you got what I want”
But yes I agree it was complete f*ckery but I used to jam it!
@Humble_One,
“5) Missy Elliot – Hot Boyz
(How are you going to make a song about liking street dudes and have Ginuwine in the video?)”
Exactly
@Humble_One, exactly how is Work it Out by Luke a love song????
I love the song but unless watching girls shake their azzes is the chapter in the book of love I missed … this does not qualify as a love song
@klysha,
How could you miss that chapter? Maybe it’s only in the male version of the book of love but it is a significant portion of the book.
@A-Town Genius,
I’ve read that chapter, complete with pictures.
Killa – Suck it or not
This song is easily one of the greatest worst hip hop love songs of all time. Plus any chick getting wild to it in the club is down for the slide.
@Dorian G.,
you really can make an entire top 25 list just off of sh*t from the dipset.
@The Champ,
1. Hey Ma
2. Dead or Alive
3. Down and Out
4. Suck it or Not
5. Crunk Muzik
6. Dipset Anthem
7. Certified Gangstas (remix or original) (Outstanding Cam line quoting Wizard of Oz)
8. S.A.N.T.A.N.A Town
9. S.A.N.T.A.N.A Town Part II
10. Birds Fly High
In fact that entire mixtape where Weezy and Jeezy were honorary members of dipset. I’m bout to dig into the iTunes crate….
@Dorian G., great great selection. i actually fought with myself for a while about which Cam song was going to make it. i just knew that at LEAST one Cam song was going to make it.
*”Ice Cream” by Raekwon and the Wu – Although it’s a great song, the love quality gets lost in lines like “Watch these rap n*ggas get all up in yo’ guts” and “Ice cold b*tches melt down when in my clutch / And want they t*tties sucked, ice cream”.
*”Have You Seen Her” by MC Hammer – I, for one, can really appreciate Hammer and what he did for the game, but this has got to be in the top five worst songs ever. From beginning to end, there is not one redeeming quality in this song.
*”Georgie Porgie” by MC Lyte – Am I the only one that ever notices how this song starts off really nice and suddenly takes a drastic change for the worse? It’s like one minute, she’s talking about how great this guy is and then she flips the script talkin’ ’bout how he has cancer and he kills himself in a car accident. It just came out of the blue to me.
*Off topic*
The best hip hop love song of all time is “What’s On Your Mind” by Eric B. And Rakim.
@Monk,
*”Georgie Porgie” by MC Lyte – Am I the only one that ever notices how this song starts off really nice and suddenly takes a drastic change for the worse? It’s like one minute, she’s talking about how great this guy is and then she flips the script talkin’ ’bout how he has cancer and he kills himself in a car accident. It just came out of the blue to me.
You’re not the only one…lol
Remember the video? Tragedy.
@Monk,
my favorite line in “ice cream” is
“i’m high powered put adina howard to sleep / yo pardon, that bytch been on my mind all week”
@Carver The Great!,
mine is “i love you like i love my d*ck size”.
actually, on second thought, i prefer “i want you for self like wealth” because of its efficiency.
@Carver The Great!,
Speaking of Adina Howard…I just a picture of her on TMZ and all I can say is wow.
@Monk,
“Ice cold b*tches melt down when in my clutch”
if i ever created a relationship resume, this would definitely be my objective statement
@Monk,
ice cream is the shizzzzz
i like ” can you turn around again, dam backyard banging……..”
dont hate on hammer
-except for that one video he made with a speedo on he got kicked outa oakland for that
@BLUNTBLAZER,
Hammer’s that dude but that “Have You Seen Her” is the worst.
@Monk, great observations. and you’re right about Ice Cream. it’s a veritable smorgasboard of ghetto love isms.
what’s sad is that, is you can say some of that shit to some women and they’ll think its sweet. kind of like the gift that keeps on giving.
DJ Somebody (can’t remember his name) and Hurricane Chris – Superstar (Halle Berry)
I mean, it’s nice you’re attempting to flatter me, but please don’t compare me with quite possibly the most beautiful
mostlyblack woman on the planet. I’m a bad b*tch, but not that bad. And you’re getting my hopes up.@Ashley Neicole,
so it would have been better if he named it “regina king”?
@The Champ,
He could’ve left it as Superstar lol.
That new Twista song…I need a daddy or something….uuuuggghhhh.
@treble, This was the song that came instantly to mind for me. **gags**
@treble,
*hates all over that song*
HATE HATE HATE! This is the 2009 skripper anthem.
I think Ghostface’s “Wildflower” off his first album should have made the cut.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3_SjZZXhvM
@Seanathan,
Good pick.
@Seanathan,
That song is terrible, but I know every. single. word. SMH… I am such a Wu-head…
@Seanathan,
this track would have been number 1 on my list. its just pure, unadulterated, angry and humorous venom for two and a half minutes.
it also has made me want to tell someone “i f*cked you on a chair with three legs”
welcome and sh*t, btw.
every song by Ja-Rule feat. Ashanti or some other female r&b singer. I really don’t like Ja Rule….
@N.I.A. naturally…., YES!! He made some money off that formula. He knew it wouldnt last long. 50 killed him though & then turned around and starts singing on his songs LOL. Go figure!
@N.I.A. naturally….,
i loved those songs ja and ashanti was tha bomb
@BLUNTBLAZER,
I concur. My favorite was the joint with Lil’ Mo “Put It On Me”.
@Monk,
the songs were catchy with a decent beat, but the actual rapping and singing was not that good. and the lyrics were a little juvenile…just a little….
LL’s song was a classic!! I remember back in the day a dude who liked me played that to me over the phone. I cried LOL!
Heavy D’s “Dont You Know” has to be the worst love song from back in the day.
Most of the new LOVE songs are horrid. That BIRTHDAY SEX song makes me cringe. I heard a version with Weezy (I THINK??) singing that actually scared me!!
@Yaa,
I remember back in the day a dude who liked me played that to me over the phone. I cried LOL!
game is a helluva drug
One guy in high school tried to quote it to me because he thought my middle class self didn’t listen to rap music.
That Ninja was serious too, talkin bout some, “You know Aif…I like you. When I’m alone in my room, sometimes I stare at the wall, blah blah blah”
And I was like “Sir…I know that’s LL Cool J. Please try again.”
The phone was quiet for like 2 minutes after that while he re-thought his strategy, lmao
Chickenhead by Project Pat…
best line ever: what? you need some gum, breath like some thunder, what you lookin at, i don’t want yo phone number
@T-Dawg,
My favorite lines are “…shoulda paid your light bill, you bought an outfit… stay in ya mammy house and keep a smart mouth…”
@T-Dawg,
Thats just the meter broke, you don’tknowwhatutalkingbout/
Any way dem new Jordan’s bout to come out
@T-Dawg,
I’ve watched the youtube 3 consecutive times just now http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uk5v6sVr6MI&feature=PlayList&p=C60BADCC1410B43E&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=15
Just an astonishing piece of music. I’m happy to say I lived to witness this song in my lifetime.
@Dorian G.,
I haven’t thought about or even listened to this song in years…just what i needed in my life this morning…Thanks Dorian G.
@Dorian G., just watched the video for funsies and i’m now sad for my people. This is the legacy of slavery. SMH vigorously!
@PrincesMo,
You really can’t expect much. I mean dudes name is Project Pat. That really says it all right there
Oh and completely off subject but everytime I think of these dudes i feel the need to point out they had Crunchy Black in their group. His name was Crunchy Black y’all and he won an Oscar
@A-Town Genius,
Nah…I think Crunchy Black had left the group by the time they won the Oscar.
@A-Town Genius, yeah, crunchy black actually had nothing to do with teh song “its hard out here for a pimp”
no writing, no production, nothing. so unfortunately, crunchy black does not have an oscar. i actually think he’s the most talented in the group.
and by talent, i mean least talented.
@Dorian G.,
Too Funny!! I know some of the girls in this video…lol!!
@T-Dawg,
welcome and sh*t
@T-Dawg,
that girl is mighty ‘skrong faced’
@blackberry molasses,
probably b/c she’s really a man….
@N.I.A. naturally….,
the skrenf of his/her features could move my furniture for me
@blackberry molasses,
this is some bay area heat
“Uggh”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0KElCaoUsr4
“call her everything in the book, rename her, beaver duckbilled, crew could banger her”lol
“breath smellin like she a food taster at crustaceans”
@T-Dawg,
Speaking of the mafia…
Slob on my knob probably should be number one on this list. Not that I’m against it or anything but I’m sure that’s not what constitutes a great love song
Matter of fact let’s just go ahead and throw the whole mafia catalog on this list cause the songs just keep coming to me.
how could you leave off my all-time favorites?
1. choke me spank me pull my hair – xzibit
“i know you love the way i’m diggin it out / i know it’s hard to talk with all this dyck in ya mouth”
“just look how she fit in them jeans, it ain’t fair / she get off too quick when i’m pullin her hair / i’m the only ninja that can take ya there / i ain’t the only one flucking and i don’t care”
2. wildflower – ghostface
the first line of the song is:
“yo bytch i flucked your friend! yeah, you stank ho!”
shall i continue? of course i shall…he then goes on to say…
“my dyck’s the bomb baby / marvelous hard snake / plus i’m conceited / i make the biggest ho call rape”
@Carver The Great!,
1. choke me spank me pull my hair – xzibit
I love the beat on the song…lol
@miss t-lee,
i love TO beat on that song…lol
@Carver The Great!,
@Carver The Great!,
LOL
@Carver The Great!,
lol
I’ll trump you all…
The greatest love song was ” I luh huh” by Akinyele before his “Put It In Your Mouth” fame.
“My girl is pregnant, I’m ready to start splitting
All around the town on the down low was the girl that I was hitting
Everyone knows I used to luh huh
I don’t want this pregnant talk to get back to my mother
Shit! I just can’t believe it
I thought me and this lady had came to a mutual agreement
But I was dead wrong, her trick was evil and ill
All along girlfriend I though you was still on the pill
Step to the G-Y-N
The gynecologist, miss, so we can put this to an END ”
Oh yeah it gets better
“That belly blows up, it’s gonna be trouble
Imma have to play like a pin and come pop that bubble
Find Chucky if you want child’s play
I’ll give your azz a hanging and drop you off in an alleyway
This is a diary of a black man
By making no alimony payments due to no wedding bands
So ax that talk about MARRAGE
Miss, you must of misunderstood, I want you to have a MISCARRAGE
I’m fed up, and sorry that I’ve done it
I’m ready to set her up and have my little man kick her in the stomach
Or punch my fist through that naval
Cause I’ll be damned if this be the hand that rocks the cradle
Or push her down a flight of steps
I don’t care or give a heck ”
This dude got paid off of PIYM so here’s one for misogyny.
@CPT Callamity,
that song hurt my feelings…and I’ve never been prego.
dayum.
yep, we have a winner.
@CPT Callamity,
This was some top shelf hate.
@miss t-lee,
Yeah it was. I think the only one who trumped that was Bushwick Bill.
@CPT Callamity,
You might be right…lol
the champ’s top five that haven’t been mentioned yet
1. “dogsh*t” by odb
basically, any song that contains the following…
“here comes grover sniffing at your ass/pardon me b*tch while i sh*t on your grass/that means, ho, you’ve been sh*tted on/i’m not the first dog that sh*tted on your lawn”
…deserves recognition
2. “is that yo b*tch” by jigga, bleek, and missy
3. “wouldn’t get far” by the game and kanye west
4. “oochie wally” by nas and the bravehearts
5. “b*tches from eastwick” by the lox (any track where you bag, bone, rob, and murder a crew of chicks also deserves recognition)
***dishonorable mention*** “kim” by eminem (the most vicious of the numerous songs where he references his babymomma)
@The Champ,
I believe Nas is still paying penance for Oochie Wally. While he’s at it, he should also be paying for that “You Owe Me” mess he did with Ginuwine.
@The Champ,
1. “dogsh*t” by odb
My favorite line was:
“You the type of bytch that don’t appreciate shyt…never had shyt, so you won’t be shyt…”
You tell ‘em Dirt Dog…ctfu
@miss t-lee,
ODB was pure comic relief. I never took him seriously but what he was saying was serious. RIP you dirty m*f*cka!
@CPT Callamity,
hell yea rip he was a wild boy how he did song with mariah i wil neva understand. that song is hella funny.
@The Champ,
“Kim” was a great great song!
**temporarily de-lurking**
I just really feel Luv in Ya Mouth by Kilo Ali should get a mention…that is all….**goes back to lurking**
@Suga,
Co-sign.
@Suga, i can’t in good faith allow Kilo to get any burn on VSB.
that ninja shot my cousin in the leg.
ATL. Zone 1. Bowen Homes. Bankhead.
When i ‘m alone in my room sometimes i stare at the wall!!!! How can you make that # 10
@Khristal, cuz it sucks. that’s how.
Good get it poppin songs
1) twista – get it wet- dont hate ya know ya chick likes it
2) Ghost Face- Camay- extra smooth
3) 2pac- thug passion/toss it up/gimme a call/are you still down w.jon b/- yea tha 90′s was poppin
4) TI – lets get away- mayne that one used ta get it crackin
5) Juve- Slow motion- mayne nuff said
bad poppin songs
1) anything from dipset
2) anything from a rapper under 21
3) anything from plies/jaime foxx/ ross/
4) anything from puffy/jayz
@BLUNTBLAZER, AYE YO! chiiiiiiiiil talkin about Foxx like that. Yeah the last album was some trash. but his first album (I mean the FIRST one “Peep This”) was crack for the ladies “infactuation” “love wont let me wait” and then “Unpredictable” say what you will…but some of those tracks got the vagina panties droppin all over my dorm room. Stop fakin Jax.
I believe there was a song by the 69 boys that was wildly popular in my college days at good old FAMU called “D**k in ya life” that might deserve an honorable mention even though it’s no more a love song than “B*&%^ better have my money”….
As an aside both of those songs could swiftly get me on the dance floor back in the day….. come to think of it they both probably still could…especially if I’ve had a drink or two
@klysha,
“D**k in ya life”
Still a club classic round these parts…lol
Some older ones…
NWA – Just Don’t Bite It/She Swallowed It
MC Ren – Behind the Scenes
Too Short – Freaky Tales
Geto Boys – Gangster of Love
Stetsasonic – Faye
Diamond D – Sally Got A One Track Mind
King Sun – Undercover Lover
@Maximillian, i started to put NWA’s catalog once Cube was gone. it was rife with bad love songs.
She Swallowed It is a classic though.
WARNING: this has absolutely nothing to do with anything but since we’ve covered this topic before and i have nothing else to add since i need love is the sh!t…..
i love her and all and the actual message was nice but…
my mama just sent me a jesus is watching so pass this on or your life will end at 2:03 pm text.
*wail*
*wall slide*
*delete*
@SouthernGirl,
Might as well go get yourself some kerosene draws then. St. Peter just wrote that down in the Book of Life and when you get to them Pearly Gates you will be DENIED.
@blackberry molasses,
lol. i think that little skit was one of my best works. it still makes me chuckle.
but what if i didn’t really erase it so much as read it and think ‘awwwww’ and then immediately rolled my eyes at the tacked on jesus threat and closed it?
@SouthernGirl,
You know religion has infiltrated everything when you can be fired and brimstoned through text.
Nobody mentioned “F*ck Faces” by Scarface and that weird looking guy who couldn’t really sing…
i HAVE to add SPLACKAVELLIE.
wth is that crap? i was like in elem school when it came out and i thought it was dumb then… lol
@CoCo, great great song.
You probably didn’t realize it (or maybe you did because I remember you saying you a wu tang stan) but the whole Bobby Digital thing was a whole character for RZA, not just an alias. Bobby Digi is his characterization of a hedonistic cat that only cares about his shit. The whole album is basically a return to baser instincts. Not to be on some rhodes scholar shit, but I’m a big wu tang stan.
Wow, Some Of You Guys Dont Know What REAL Hip Hop Is.
Bunch Of F U C K I NG
Mainstream Bullshit.
You Want A Good Love Song?
Check Out Atmosphere, The Roots, Tonedeff, Jean Grae, Blue Scholars,
Thats REAL Hip Hop For You, Not That Stupid LL Cool J, Plies, Soulja Boy Bullshii.
My Sources?
Im An Underground Hip-Hop Head
Wildflower by Ghostface has to be on here!
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Your smokin bass with some of the songs u put on there…Skinny jeans must be cuttin off your oxygen