Featured, Race & Politics

Ways Slavery Wasn’t Really All That Bad, At Least According To (Some) White People

There’s a bit in one of Patrice O’Neal’s stand-up specials where he talks about how arrogant Americans (generally) are, how proud we are of that arrogance, and that this arrogance about our arrogance is why people from other countries hate us. To make his point, he jokes that people in other countries know who the American president is. But if you asked us to name presidents in other countries, we’re basically “I don’t know. Why are you asking me? Who gives a damn about Iceland’s prime minister or grand marshall or chief burger or whatever the fuck its called over there?

The joke works because it takes a bit of truth (America arrogance) and adds some hyperbole to it. And it would work just as well if O’Neal replaced “foreigners” with “Black Americans.” One of the more peculiar byproducts of our country’s schizophrenic relationship with race is that it has left us with this dynamic where Black Americans (generally) know much more about White Americans than White Americans know about us. We’d do much, much, much better on the White People Shit literacy test than they’d do on ours. Eight out of 10 Black people would recognize Channing Tatum walking down the street at night. Three out of 10 White people might recognize Idris Elba. But the other seven would call the cops. (I’m kidding. Well, kinda.)

And while there are practical reasons for this — namely, there are just so many more of them than us — you can’t help but believe that a large part of this knowledge discrepancy is intentional. A sense of “your shit just aint important enough to bother learning about it.”

The type of willful ignorance that leads to me having this conversation in 2016:

So, you’re a writer?

Yea.

Who do you write for?

A few digital publications. And I have monthly column in EBONY.

EBONY?

Yes.

Is that, like, a local magazine.”

No.

Is it new.

Yes.”

Really?

“No.

“Ok.”

Nowhere is this void more apparent than when it comes to knowledge about slavery. Raise your hand if you’re Black (or White) and reading this and you’ve had to correct an otherwise educated grown-ass White person’s views about slavery. And keep that hand up so I can give you an high five. If you’re reading this, you’re (probably) not in prison. And if you’re not in prison, you didn’t throat chop or spleen shank that person that day, and I applaud your constraint.

Also, when it comes to slavery, this void is ironic. Because the Transatlantic slave trade and chattel slavery are perhaps the most specifically American aspects of American history. We would not be who we are today — economically, culturally, spiritually, geographically, even topographically — without it. But the lack of knowledge of it — and the lack of understanding of its panoramic and pervasive brutality — has led some to believe that, you know, it probably wasn’t all that bad. Yeah, the not being free thing probably sucked, but you got to be in the sun, you got to sing songs with your friends, and you had all the greens and ribs you can eat. Imagine the Old Country Buffet, but with just greens and ribs!!! What’s not to love about that?

Over the years, I’ve heard quite a few justifications for why slavery might not have been all that bad for us. Some from people sitting next to me in college classrooms. And some from paid columnists at nationally relevant newspapers. Here are some of my favorites.

1. Some slave masters loved their slaves. How else can you explain all the biracial children?

Love is blind. Especially when the object of that love is your property, and you have legal justification to treat it the same way you’d treat a hammer or your favorite futon.

2. American slavery might have been bad, but it was worse other places. 

This, ultimately, is like comparing the stench of horse shit to dog shit. It’s just all shit, man.

3. Well, you (Black Americans) are better off here than you would have been in Africa today.

There’s a bit too much in this statement to unpack. So I’m just going to do what I usually do when someone says this. Eat a waffle and watch the last 15 minutes of Collateral. 

4. It happened like 700 years ago. You should be past that by now. 

Ironically, this is often said by the same person who still hasn’t gotten over David Caruso leaving NYPD Blue.

5. Not every slave was treated terribly. Some were allowed to sleep in the big house, right?

Yes, because a greater physical proximity to your captor, owner, and rapist is always a good thing.

6. Not all White people were slave owners.

I wonder what was history’s first #notallwhitepeople. #Notallwhitepeople killed Jesus? #Notallwhitepeople hated Othello? #Notallwhitepeople lived in caves? #Notallwhitepeople bit the apple?

If anyone knows, please tell me. 

7. It only happened in a few states in the South.

Of course, the Transatlantic slave trade affected practically the entire Northern Hemisphere. The only difference between Blacks in Alabama and Blacks in Brazil is that the guys steering their ships were drunk.

8. Why would owners mistreat their slaves? It was in their best interests to be happy and healthy. 

In this justification, chattel slavery was basically just an early iteration of Michelle Obama’s Let’s Move! campaign.

9. Come on. Are you saying every slave owner was evil? Because that can’t be true. I’m sure some were good people.

Was every slave owner on some Joffrey Baratheon type of evil? Of course not. But is there really much difference between “being inherently evil” and “existing within and willingly benefitting from an inherently evil policy?”

10. Slavery ended with the Emancipation Proclamation

While that measure might have made slavery illegal, it’s not as if A) they had cell phones and fax machines back then and B) slave owners just collectively said “Ah well. It was good while it lasted. Here’s your walking papers and a mule, Big Al.

I mean, have you ever heard of Juneteenth? No? Of course not. My bad for even asking.

Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a columnist for GQ.com And he's working on a book of essays to be published by Ecco (HarperCollins). Damon is busy. He lives in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes. Reach him at damon@verysmartbrothas.com. Or don't. Whatever.

  • miss t-lee

    Thank you for mentioning Juneteenth.
    Took a whole hot minute after the Emancipation Proclamation for the news to hit Galveston.

    ” Some slave masters loved their slaves. How else can you explain all the biracial children?”
    When I hear people say this, it’s just really sickening. Not only are you trying to romanticize rape, but you’re also downplaying the reason the biracial children were made in the first place. To continue the workforce, cheaply.

    • Jennifer

      “Took a whole hot minute after the Emancipation Proclamation for the news to hit Galveston.”

      You know how we celebrate it down in H-town. Part of me has always been so sad about it tho. We’re having a parade because news traveled really slow in the 1800s?!?! It hurts a little bit.

      • miss t-lee

        It hurts most definitely. We got the news late, but we got it.
        I just look at it as the “official” end of slavery. I mean, we know it wasn’t sunshine and roses after June 19, 1865, but at least we could say we were technically free people.

        • Question

          Umm…so can we trade Juneteenth for Kwanzaa? I don’t want Kwanzaa anymore – I’m tired of being asked about it and I don’t even understand it.

          But Juneteenth? This post just made me realize that I need to step my Juneteenth game all the way up.

          • miss t-lee

            I don’t know anything about Kwanzaa, really.
            Growing up in Texas this is a state holiday. We’ve always done Juneteenth big. I’ve always celebrated it more than the 4th.

            • Question

              What do ya’ll do to celebrate? I need ideas.

              The hubby and I just moved bought a house (yay!) and are making a list of traditions we want to start. Juneteenth is going to the top of the list.

              • miss t-lee

                Normally hit up the Juneteenth parade or any other event going on in the city. There’s normally a big celebration in one of the parks, BBQ, concerts, etc.
                It varies from city to city.

              • Kas

                Yay for big house. Congrats

            • Mochasister

              Junteenth really should be the true 4th of July for us. It’s like Frederick Douglas said what does your Fourth of July mean to the slave (and us by extension.).

              • miss t-lee

                It’s always been the day I celebrate independence.

              • badphairy

                It is, for me. I don’t celebrate the 4th of July anymore.

                • Mochasister

                  I do like having the day off. We usually barbecue. But that’s about the extent of our celebration. Funny how Frederick Douglas’ speech still applies in the twenty-first century.

                  • Mary Burrell

                    I just learned of the Frederick Douglass speech last year and it was serious food for thought.

                    • Mochasister

                      It was and still is a powerful speech. I can’t believe that wypipo had the audacity to ask a man who had himself been a slave and was speaking out against slavery to speak on the 4th of July. Talk about being clueless.

                  • badphairy

                    Funny/sad, yes.

              • Momofuku O’Murphy

                I had no fucking clue. I hate knowing so little about my heritage, and even though I was born and raised and live back in Switzerland now, I definitely experience a whole nother type of racism. The only thing we learned about in lightning speed was 1776. And that’s IT. I WISH I had had some reference points/ earlier internet access instead of a white dad who just (angrily) perpetuated the “I’M COLOURBLIND” myth (as in, please stfu, I don’t want to hear about your made up bs “racism” story)

                • Mochasister

                  Don’t feel badly. A lot of us ( I’m speaking from a Black/African American point of view) don’the know a lot about our particular history either. The American public school generally speaking doesn’t do a very good job of teaching the history of Blacks or other poc. Even the AP or IB history courses I took in high school didn’t teach the history of others. I learned more in college but you shouldn’t have to wait until college to start learning the true history of your country. Sorry to hear about your dad. Yeah, I am very familiar with the “colorblind” mantra. Trouble is for those of with color in our skin that mantra doesn’t help us with what we actually live and experience. Many white people just don’t understand what it is like to be Black/poc living in a white dominated society. Not only do they not get it they don’t want to get it. They don’t listen either. I gave up a long time ago expecting understanding from them.

                • TomIron361

                  Do you think you would be better off going back to Africa?

              • TomIron361

                Wasn’t Frederick Douglas president of the Freedmen’s Bank when it went bust and the former slaves lost their money?

          • I only learned about Juneteenth when I got to college. Folks from down south told me it was a big hullaballoo and I had no clue.

            • Question

              Me too. Growing in LA, I knew of Juneteenth but didn’t really do much with/about/for it.

              • porqpai

                I knew about Juneteenth strictly by virtue of celebrating in church. I recall no parades in Nola n such until well after high school and even that was inconsistent.

            • Dutchie LaLa

              Me too!!! Growing up in NJ I knew about it but I didn’t really get to know and experience it til I went to an HBCU in Alabama. Nineteenth is a big thing out there.

            • Mochasister

              I’m originally from the Midwest and I didn’t find out about it until I was a young adult. I believe they have some celebrations in L.A. but as of yet I haven’t attended any.

              • fxd8424

                They celebrate in Philly too.

          • Kas

            I’m support this trade.

          • Wild Cougar

            Also. I am up for the trade

          • Mochasister

            Poor Kwanzaa! Kwanzaa is like the red headed b****** step child left out in the rain that no one wants to acknowledge.

            • Question

              What IS Kwanzaa? Isn’t Kwanzaa kinda hotep? I get that it came out of the Black Power movement so its not *that* hotep, but it kinda has hotepish tendencies…

              • Epsilonicus

                Kwanzaa may possibly be proto-hotep

                • Question

                  I could see that. Its like the precursor or something…

              • Mochasister

                Lol! All I can remember is that Dr. Maulana Karenga founded it. It has seven principles (I only remember umoja, nia, and kuchijagulia? Sue me. I didn’t feel like googling.). There’s a candlestick thingy that looks like a menorah. It’s celebrated after Christmas. And I am in my forties and have yet to meet anyone who really celebrates it. I asked my mother one time why we never celebrated when I was a kid and she looked at me like I was crazy. She said by the time the relatives had gone home for Christmas she was too tired to start up with Kwanzaa.

                • Question

                  7 days of folks all up in your house? Now I know why my Mom never even attempted Kwanzaa.

                  • Mochasister

                    Right! And if your father was like mine all of the preparations would have been left up to her! That’s how you know a man came up with this. He wasn’t thinking how making a holiday right after Christmas might not have been the best idea. Not after finishing Christmas shopping, hiding presents from nosy little chirren, cleaning the house for your in-laws and cooking for said in laws. The Negro: “Baby, we need seven days to celebrate our Blackness. I figure now is as good as time as any because the grandparents are already here. See, all you have to do is get the altar and this candlestick thingy and teach little Kinshasa and Malcolm Malik about the seven principles but put it on a preschool level so they can understand…Baby, what are you muttering? I can’t hear you but I could have sworn you said something about cutting an eyelid. Why would you do that?” Kwanzaa my a**!

                  • miss t-lee

                    *hollering*

                • Mary Burrell

                  I had a running joke with my boss about Kwanza. It was not Kwanza at the time when i said Happy Kwanza and she thought i was serious by acknowledging me. I had to tell her i was just joking. See white folks assume black people all celebrate Kwanza.

                  • Mochasister

                    Serious question. Do you actually know any Black people who do celebrate Kwanzaa? I don’t know any.

                    • Mary Burrell

                      I used to frequent a black book store in the community and the owner of that book store was very into afrocentrism and she tried to push the idea. They do have a Kwanza festival in the south part of town which is MLK boulevard and during the Fall they have Harambee festival as an alternative to Halloween.

                    • Reneé T. Armstead

                      My family and I do. The African-American community here does too. There are a number of programs here that have Kwanzaa celebrations.

                    • Mochasister

                      I guess it depends on where you live. We don’t really have any Kwanzaa celebrations here.

                    • Reneé T. Armstead

                      You are probably correct. I understand that Chicago has lots of celebrations going on there too. Of course look at how large of a city Chicago is.

                • Reneé T. Armstead

                  I specified them above in response to another post.
                  Dr. Maulana Karenga brought the principles to the United States from Africa in 1966. Dr. Karenga expanded several elements of Kwanzaa that come from the Kwanzaa and harvest celebrations in numerous countries in Africa and organized them in a way that is more appropriate for African-Americans to celebrate. They don’t really celebrate it in Africa as I understand it. It is a regular part of their lives. Each country acknowledges it in a different way.

              • Mary Burrell

                LOL@ “Hotep”

              • Reneé T. Armstead

                WHAT is Kwanzaa? Kwanzaa is an African-American holiday celebrated for seven days and nights. It begins the day after Christmas, December 26th and ends at the end of New Year’s Day January 1st. The word Kinara is a Swahili word that means ‘candle holder’. The
                Kwanzaa Kinara is similar to the Menorah in appearance only! The difference is It is a
                seven branched candle holder that accommodates six candles in a row. The seventh candle is in the middle and in some Kinaras is set a little above the others. It is a black candle which symbolizes the African people. There are three red candles which denote the African’s and African-American’s struggle. There are
                also three green candles signifying their hopes for the future. The black candle is lit the first night, two the second, and so on, until the final night when all the candles are lit. Africans and African-Americans light the Kinara
                in the observance of one of the seven African
                principles of each day. The seven principles are: 1) Umoja (oo-MO-jah). Unity stresses the importance of togetherness for the family and the community. 2) Kujichagulia (koo-gee-cha-goo-LEE-yah) Self- Determination requires that Africans and African-Americans define common interests and make decisions that are in the best interest of family and community. 3) Ujima (oo-GEE-mah). Collective Work and Responsibility reminds Africans and African-Americans of their obligation to the past,
                present and future. It is also a reminder that they
                have a role to play in the community, society, and world. 4) Ujamaa (oo-JAH-mah). Cooperative Economics emphasizes collective economic strength. 5) Nia (NEE-yah). Purpose encourages the people to look within themselves and to set personal goals that are benefi cial to the community. 6) Kuumba (koo-OOM-bah). Creativity encourages the use of creative
                energies to build and maintain a strong and vibrant community; and 7) Imani (ee-MAH-nee). Faith focuses on honoring the best of African and African-American traditions, drawing upon the best in themselves, and to strive for a higher place of life for humankind. Hope this helps!!!

        • peepsqueek

          You are technically free here, but African slavery still exists in North Africa and some of the so-called Arab Countries for a very long time. I met some escaped slaves from the Sudan while I was in East Africa 15 years ago, that described the horrific business as it is today. They were being put up by a Christian organization on the east coast of Kenya. People were pouring in from Somalia as well to escape Islam extreme. While I was there I visited a mosque that was in ruins from the 10th or 11th century, build by Arab slavers.

          Akosua Perbi
          ?Professor of History
          ?University of Ghana ?
          Before the white man, North Africa slavery was practiced in the Sahara desert and its southern border lands, as well as in the region of modern western Sahara, Morocco and Algeria among the Berbers. In the Central Sahara and in the sub desert areas further south, the Tuaregs practiced slavery. In North East Africa, the Ethiopians, Somalis, Egyptians and the people of the Sudan were all familiar with the institution of slavery. In West Africa slavery was known among many of the states and societies. For example among the Wolof and Serer of Senegambia, the Mende and Temne of Sierra Leone, the Vai of Liberia and Sierra Leone, and virtually all the states and societies in Guinea, Ghana, Ivory Coast, Dahomey, Mali, Nigeria etc. In Central Africa slavery was practiced in much of Bantu Africa for example among the Duala of Cameroon; the Bakongo, Bapende Luba and Lunda of Zaire ( now the Democratic Republic of the Congo), Congo and part of Angola, and the Lozi of Zambia. In East Africa the Buganda state, the Nyamwezi and the Chagga peoples practiced slavery. Along the coast, the Mrima Arabs, Omani Arabs and the Sawahilis practiced slavery. In Southern Africa the Cokwe of Angola, the Sena of Mozambique and the Ngoni people scattered across East, Central and Southern Africa were all familiar with the institution of slavery.

          Akosua Perbi is Associate Professor of History University of Ghana, Legon. She has served five terms as Head of Department of History between 1992 and 2006. She holds a doctorate in History from University of Ghana, Legon, and is an expert in indigenous slavery in Africa and women in African history.

          Prof. Perbi is a life member of the African Studies Association based in Rutgers University, New Brunswick, New Jersey, U.S.A.; Fontes Historiae Africana Project of the International Union of Academics, based in Vienna, Austria; University Teachers Association of Ghana, and Historical Society of Ghana.

      • KMN

        We have a huge one here in Milwaukee every year…and I overstand your pain about the parade for slow news :(. I haven’t been to one in almost 20 years because I almost got shot at the last one and the fact that MilwaukeePD rides around MLK Drive on horses just don’t sit right with me :-|

    • Leigh

      My daughter’s college history class was discussing slavery yesterday. She is the only black female in the class and there may be four or five young black men. Everyone else is Whyte and Asian. The professor made the comment ” What’s the use of having a pretty slave if you can’t have chex with it”? WTF!!!!! The black guys just shook their heads like “BIH!!!” The whyte guy that sits next to her said” what kind of shyt is that to say?!” She said that all eyes were on her. Embarrassed her.

      • miss t-lee

        Nahhhhhh. That’s all kinds of messed up.

      • miss t-lee

        She should file a complaint or something.

        • Leigh

          Yeah. She was totally mind blown. She texted me at work while she was still in the class. The whyte kids started apologizing to her. SMH. My poor baby.

          • miss t-lee

            So uncalled for.

          • Cori Hoston

            My black azz daddy would’ve been driving three and a half hrs and cussing that professor out…REAL REAL BAD…LIKE U WHYTE AZZ PIECE OF SHYT….yeah Cuz my daddy get real BLACK about that type shyt..lol

            • MsShaynaT

              I fear my father would have had the cops called on him and they would have shot him.

            • You gotta hit white folks where it hurts… lawsuits and money make them hop for you.. and throw in some curses…lol

            • JanuaryBabe

              Exactly!!!!!

            • Reneé T. Armstead

              I hear that! My dad didn’t tolerate that kind of foolishness either.

          • LMNOP

            This whole situation is horrific, the professor should definitely face consequences. Does she know any of the kids in her class, either as friends or just people she’d be comfortable talking to, because maybe a group of students complaining would be more effective, easier on your daughter (possibly… I can honestly see that going either way) and reduce the chance her grade would be affected.

            • JanuaryBabe

              WRITE a LETTER!!!! The pen is soooo much more powerful than the sword!!!! I promise you!????????

          • Tell her to NOT STAY SILENT… White folks expect that especially when they outnumber us. it’s an academic setting.. CHALLENGE HIS INTELLIGENCE.

            • JanuaryBabe

              LAWD! It’s 6:04 am….and I’m ready to start marching now!!!

          • Mochasister

            Dang, now you know it’s bad if even wypipo are feeling bad and apologizing.

          • Mary Burrell

            Unbelievable

        • Mochasister

          I have to give major side eye to a man like that. I would be very concerned about young female students of his.

      • TheVilleintheA

        She needs to go speak to the chair of the department of that professor. I’m sure hard earned money is not being spent to be harassed in class. If the Chair turns a deaf ear move on up the chain of command.

        • Leigh

          I’ll tell her about it. I think she’s worried that if she complains, it will affect her grade in the class.

          • Raven

            I worked in higher ed for years and I can tell you this-she MUST speak to the chair of the department. If she feels the chair would pay her no mind she has the right to speak with the dean of the college. My undergraduate degree is in history and I have sat in enough history courses to know how peculiar many of the professors in the discipline can be, but that is unacceptable. Her grade should not suffer and if for whatever reason it does she can file a grievance. Institutions of higher ed DO NOT want this type of attention.

            • Reneé T. Armstead

              I agree. I’ve been university administrator for years as well. I too say she should work the hierarchy if she gets no satisfaction from the department chairperson.

          • JanuaryBabe

            ?????? Mama…..write a letter to the President of the University and copy the Dept Chair and the Dean???????? Don’t you let this slide!!!! Need me to write it for you? How dare he!

      • Maaaan… that clapback would’ve deafness that bytch…REPORT HIM.

      • CheGueverraWitBlingOn

        What?? Maaaaaaaaan…i wish a professor would …

      • Reneé T. Armstead

        Is BIH another way to pronounce “bitch”?

        • Mochasister

          Lol! Yes, it is.

          • Reneé T. Armstead

            OK, thanks for the heads up.

            • Mochasister

              No problem. They do use some very unique linguistic terms around here!

    • Amen

      Growing up in Austin, Juneteenth felt like just another reason to bbq and get everybody out to the parades and pools. The real meaning of Juneteenth didn’t penetrate until I was in HS. Biting down on a rib like “…….wait a minute….”

      • miss t-lee

        I feel ya. Same here. It’s not til you get older and then you’re…nah!!!!

      • Mochasister

        Off topic but I bet ya’ll had some bomb barbecue!

    • CheGueverraWitBlingOn

      I will literally smack a full grown adult person who I hear say this sh!t. Sorry, but I gotta take it there, cause I don’t believe they are being honest, because most mentally able adults know that love and procreation are not exclusive.
      #sorrynotsorry

      • miss t-lee

        Some people are extra dense.

    • TomIron361

      If slavery were reinstituted would todays african Americans qualify for the job?

      • miss t-lee

        Take your keyboard and beat yourself about the head, neck, and shoulders with it.

        • TomIron361

          Does that mean you won’t answer the question?

          • miss t-lee

            You’re smart. Use your context clues.

            • TomIron361

              Why don’t you want to answer the question?

              • miss t-lee
                • TomIron361

                  If slavery was reinstituted, would you want an african American slave or any other slave a different ethnic background?

    • Rambo Furum

      Are you seriously saying that whitey didn’t trust black slaves to propagate themselves? Or that not a single slave woman might have actually been deemed attractive? smdh

      • miss t-lee

        Don’t hurt yourself with all that heavy lifting.

  • I can’t begin to talk to people who rationalize and justify in this manner. I can’t deal with them ignoring that for like EVER after the “Emancipation Proclamation” Jim Crow still continued to inhibit black people from maximizing their potential in this country. I can’t with them ignoring that, the only real reason the slaves were freed was financial. It wasn’t about some soft hearted #wiypipo coming to their senses and realizing that African slaves are indeed human and should be treated as such…and on that note, as FULL humans, NOT a fraction of a human. I just simply can not get into these conversations. My heart can’t take the pressure…and I don’t want to sweat out another shirt.

    • Leigh

      I need some advice about this: What do you think: My daughter’s college history class was discussing slavery yesterday. She is the only black female in the class and there may be four or five young black men. Everyone else is Whyte and Asian. The professor made the comment ” What’s the use of having a pretty slave if you can’t have chex with it”? WTF!!!!! The black guys just shook their heads like “BIH!!!” The whyte guy that sits next to her said” what kind of shyt is that to say?!” She said that all eyes were on her. Embarrassed her.

      • Sweet Potato Kai

        Is this for real, for real? What school?

      • O_O Ok FIRST let me compose myself.

        Secondly, I would have to speak with the dean on this. There is NO WAY a professor should have said anything like that in a class room setting. It’s bad enough an educator is having that type of thought process, but to be so bold as to VOICE it?! That is totally unacceptable. On top of that, I can see how that would make things VERY uncomfortable for your daughter, and any other black female student he teaches. It sounds VERY predatory to me. I’m appalled the sentence left his lips. SMH.

        But yes, that would be my course of action.

      • fxd8424

        WTF? He needs to be reported ASAP.

  • RR

    “The only difference between Blacks in America and Blacks in the Caribbean is that the guys steering their ships were drunk.”

    BAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAH

  • black-a-rican

    This is why I keep my circle small. I want to keep what little hair I have left, and only deal with people who deal in common sense and logic. This is what I show people who bring up biracial children as “proof” that slave owners weren’t that bad.

    https://youtu.be/PxW-XLOm4QU?t=44s

    • These are fun little videos.

    • GenevaGirl

      This is the story of my life. (I am very light and white people will not accept BLACK as an answer. And when I tell them to STFU, I’m told not to be aggressive.)

  • Question

    I’ve never seen Wypipo run from history and facts as fast as they do when it comes to slavery. If they could translate the “intellectual” gyrations required to make slavery anything less than heinous into something useful, my car could fly and fold up into a suitcase like in the Jetsons, I’d probably be typing this from Mars and my hair would be instantly deep conditioned and perfectly coifed at all times using a remote control.

  • Skegeeaces

    I have held back many a throat chop on my day. Many, many, many. ::Hums Negro spiritual in remembrance::

    • miss t-lee

      I can feel that.

  • It gave you (blacks) Christianity.

    Thank goodness for blonde, blue-eyed baby Jesus swathed in a receiving blanket from Pottery Barn that we wayward Africans were gifted Christianity. How else would we have found (lost) our way?!!

    • Amen

      Christianity was in Africa looooooooooooooooong before it was in Europe. Especially western Europe. But whatever

      • Quirlygirly

        Please let them know! Why must people be soo stupid with all this information out here and google is at your fingertips

      • Was it also used as a weapon to control and instill fear? In Africa?

        • Haven’t u heard of the Ethiopian Bible?

          • I have. I don’t know much of what’s in it though.

        • Amen

          Absolutely, as were a lot of things.

          • I’m not sure it was to the same degree as in the TA slave trade/chattel slavery, but I could be wrong.

      • If you’re by like the Horn of Africa. Doubt more than a handful of Black Americans trace their origins back to Ethiopia.

        • Wild Cougar

          Ethiopia showed the middle east how to build churches. Then they showed Europe. So Christianity, like everything else, started with Ethiopia.

        • Tell that to all the churches across Africa that the Muslims turned into mosques.

          Oh, but carry on! Don’t let history with your fun!

          • Except Black people in North and South America come from West Africa not North Africa….

            • DuelPistols

              I think that’s the next level of afrocentricism that will arise out of the flood of information we are all trying to swim. That not all black people come from the same place. Then we will all trace our roots back and rebuild what we have lost because we’ve established a true sense of identity. Until then most black people won’t be able to differentiate. But the fact that we are more intune with collective African history especially in relation to “white” history is important.

      • Mochasister

        I hate how they act like only Europeans practiced Christianity.

        • Tambra

          One word : Wiccan.

      • Brother Mouzone

        The difference being, they had the TRUE story with the TRUE Black, nappy-headed messiah in Africa…you know, where all that biblical history took place.

      • Question

        Amen, need I remind you Wypipo clause number 2:

        It did not exist until we discovered it.

        • Amen

          *smacks forehead* how could I forget? Jesus, good hygiene, the Americas……thanks white folks! Lol

          • Mochasister

            Good hygiene! Hush your mouth! Lol!

      • Sho nuff.

      • DuelPistols

        To be fair, those are two totally different things and have nothing to do with blue-eyed Jesus and his place in the Black mythos.

    • Vanity in Peril

      Africa and our religions were doing just fine b4 they came thru with their made up tales of jesu….lemme stop.

      • MsShaynaT

        Nah… don’t stop! They need to hear it.

    • theresa.

      A Guyanese co-worker of mine literally told me yesterday that we should be happy about slavery because of Christianity, or else we all would’ve been practicing witchcraft. Smh

      • Dutchie LaLa

        Practicing Witchcraft? WTF? How ignorant

        • Tambra

          That what ppl believe all of Africa did. You hear the same thing in relation to Haiti. You say Haiti and the first thing people will tell you is Voodoo and poverty.

          • Voodoo would be accurate though… there’s a grassroots return to that faith… I’m here for it.

            • Tambra

              Yes but Voodoo carry very negative connotations.

              • To people who are ignorant… ALL ATR’S get negativity.

                • Tambra

                  Didn’t Pat Robertson and a number of evangelicals claim the 2010 earthquake was a result of the practice of voodoo and thus was God’s judgement?

                  • Yep… but this is the same idiot that, said God was gonna kill him if he didn’t get millions… I put no stock in Dwights.

                    • Tambra

                      Sadly he got too many person enslaved mentally. Him and Benny Hinn.

                    • and Joel Olsteen

                    • Tambra

                      I liked Joel Osteen but he endorsed Drumpf so no more.

                    • Mochasister

                      Off topic but what are Dwights?

                    • lmao Dwights… The Whites

                    • Mochasister

                      Lol! Ok, thanks for the explanation. Mochasister can be slow on the uptake sometimes.

                  • Mochasister

                    I know Robertson did. I don’t know about the other evangelicals. I wanted to ask him so badly and was 9/11 God’s judgement on America for its own wickedness?

                    • Tambra

                      Yes, he was the most prominent, but he had what we like to describe as backative.

                    • Brother Mouzone

                      All the TV evangelist are full of sh*t. Even a lot of the colored ones…yeah I called em colored.

                    • KMN

                      this tickled me a bit TOO much lolol

              • CheGueverraWitBlingOn

                People should say vodun…names matter.

                • Tambra

                  Not for anything expressedly African in origins

      • I wonder if that was what the Greeks and Romans were doing before the Catholic Church came about and introduced the Western World to Feudalism?

        • Greek and Roman mythology are directly based off Yoruba, Ararat, Fön traditions….

          • I’m Yoruba…I’m sure there’s interchange, but I’m not sure I’d say direct. I see a relationship between Shango and Zeus, but I could say the same of Shango and Mars/Ares. Does Hera match up with Oya; Does Uranus/Gaia match up with Oduduwa? Eh, kind of shaky, I think?

            I tend to agree with Joseph Campbell that a lot of mythology is the product of geography and tribal values. But I also think it’s a product of trade and war. Generally speaking, humans have always interacted with one another and have always shared stories, trivialities, in addition to goods and services. Others have used what they’ve taken from others and created things of their own…outside of academia, plagiarism is normal in human history.

            • I’m Yoruba too… my family was brought to Cuba from Benin…outside of Edo.

              Actually Oyá wouldn’t align with Hera.. her equivalents would be Enyo in Greek mythology and Bellona in Roman mythology… they were lovers of Ares/ Mars and warriors…

              Generally speaking, West Africans… Rephrase…. Africans period were light years ahead of Greeks and Romans… people downplay that by creating some sort of cultural exchange… and usually in the case of us and them….. they “borrowed” more than they returned.

              • Eh, I see where you’re coming from, but I do think there’s value and some truth in seeing this as a product of exchange, especially in our modern times where we’ve seen globalization explicitly (it’s always existed in some form). I came to this conclusion when I was talking to a person and they said Yorubas got their mythology from the Egyptians.

                At the very most it’s a huge assumption, and it would be based on the person making such a case to provide the evidence, including the chronology (but like I said, there doesn’t seem to be the interest in historians to look into such things). Furthermore, it’s very hard to pinpoint the origin of myths in terms of time and place, but it’s pretty basic to understand that trade and war have defined much of humanity and the exchange of ideas.

                • Oluseyi

                  Not to mention that many pantheistic myths are animist, and therefore likely parallel independent inventions.

              • Blueberry01

                Nigerian Cuban…interesting.

                • Most Black Cubans are either Yoruba, Dahomemian, Arara, Fön or Hausa… there are other Tribes as well but you have to consider that the Spanish started bringing us over in 1519… unlike the British, the Spanish and the Portuguese didn’t intermixed tribes….so it was easier to trace lineage…

                  We all have a tribal origin… our elders were petty adept at keeping our history in tact…

                  • Blueberry01

                    Hmmm..ya veo y que tiene sentido, Negra. Mis padres son Nigerianos (Igbo para ser exacto).

                    I’ve found more traces of Ibgos lineage, though, in non-predominantly Spanish-speaking islands (Jamaica); but, I’d be curious if they appeared anywhere else. I’m sure they’re are.

                    Paella = Jellof Rice :-)

                    • No puedo decir que no hay Igbo en las islas con gente k habla español pero There are more in the US and British isles.. Remember that the Spanish and Portuguese started in Benin and they had a headstart over the Brits.. Igbo, Maroon’s were the tribes they dealt with more or less.. and Yoruba, Ashanti, Akan.. etc.

                    • Blueberry01

                      Es verdad…

      • Question

        Let me guess, All Lives Matter and “what about Black on Black crime”?

      • Dang! Mad it had to be one of my people!

      • CheGueverraWitBlingOn

        And this is why we can’t be great.

      • Brother Mouzone

        Well, after all, that is where the term “drinking the kool-aid”came from. A bunch of Black folks following a white so-called “savior”.

    • Ari

      “…we wayward Africans were gifted Christianity”

      15 years or so my dad’s preacher made that statement in his sermon during a visit to my hometown while I was in my college years. The sermon’s topic was something about blessings in disguise. I walked out mid-sermon and went to Krispy Kreme.

      • Brother Mouzone

        THAT is what I call a colored preacher, to keep myself from calling them something more uhh “colorful”.

      • Hope the light was on!

    • Gibbous

      I also like to share with my more Xenophobic folks that there have been Muslims in the US for longer than we’ve been a country. Historians estimate that around 20% of enslaved Africans were Muslim.

      Muslims: building America since 1500’s (I’m not Muslim, but I can’t stand the bigotry!)

  • PDL – Cape Girl

    This reminds me of some of the older ladies at church and the movie The Help. Some of them say “my white lady is good to me.”

    I won’t ever say never, but I’m not feeling that.

    Edit – Nooo to 1 – 10

  • Glo

    Saw this this morning, and I feel like it is somewhat appropriate.

    • Vanity in Peril

      My body is shaking in anger. Why can’t white ppl ever say crap like this directly to me so I can flippith thine mode!?!

    • Quirlygirly

      She needs to slapped 3 good times

      • Hourly

      • Brother Mouzone

        And then just start a conga line of slaps like in the comedy Airplane.

    • MsShaynaT

      I cannot articulate what I would like to do in this situation, so I’m just going to whistle.

    • AquaTeamV3
    • De’Jhan Burns

      This is just absolute willful ignorance… Like she has never read a book ever in her life!!! Also though, some of the newer history textbooks do refer to slaves as “immigrant workers” who came here looking for jobs… ???

      • Mochasister

        Would these books happen to be from Texas? I remember reading a while back how some Latino and Black parents were complaining about how some school was teaching their history.

    • Mochasister

      The stupidity is strong with this one.

      • Tambra

        Ignorance. This is what happens when the Texas curriculum is allowed to spread.

        • Mochasister

          Nah, ignorance is too kind of a word to use with this one. And I don’t feel like being nice. I’m sticking with stupid. Wypipo think they’re slick. I bet she wouldn’t dare say some crap like that to descendants of survivors of the Jewish Holocaust. “Well, if they had just stayed out of the ovens…” I’m sick and tired of them deflecting and downplaying what our ancestors suffered.

  • Dougie

    I have to bookmark this and send it in facebook debates.

    • You can’t fight willful ignorance with information. I’ve tried…

      • ChokeOnThisTea

        ^^^That’s quote-worthy.

      • (posts quote to FB timeline)

      • Kas

        Studies have shown it literally has the opposite effect. People double down on their ignorance.

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