- wow. who’d a thought that him sleeping with my niece was a bad thing? thanks vsb!!!
between here, formspring, guyspeak, twitter, facebook, and our vsb email account, panama and i literally get hundreds of relationship-related questions per week. and, out of those hundreds, approximately 50 percent of them result in one of us hitting the other up on gchat and asking “what in the hell is wrong with these people?“. seriously, we get asked so many simple-ass fisher-price questions that sometimes it feels like i’m being interviewed by magic johnson.
while i realize that some of these people are just looking for someone to co-sign a stupid decision they already know they’re going to make, some are genuinely clueless about what to do.
anyway, knowing that these advice seekers read vsb, i figured i’d save us all some time by giving preemptive advice to 10 of their most common dilemmas. with that in mind, here’s 10 very smart (and simple) dating tips for dummies.
1. he’s just not that into you if he’s f*cking somebody else
***not to be confused with “he’s just not into you if you haven’t spent a weekday with him since the series premiere of “boomtown“, “he’s just not that into you if people say ‘oh, i didn’t know you had a girlfriend. ha!! who’d a thunk it‘ to him every time you’re out together“, and “he’s just not that into you if he tried to strangle you in your sleep”
2. if you’re interested in her, and she makes any mention of other men she’s seeing while she’s in your presence, you’re not a “close friend” or confidant. you’re a cuckold.
sorry, man.
3. best way to scare her away? do scary sh*t.
put it this way: while you assumed that she’d think that it was cute and swoon-worthy when you hired a violinist to serenade her with wu-tang’s “reunited” at applebee’s on your first date, super thirsty sh*t like that only works in movies.
and by “only works in movies” i mean “only works if your name is idris elba and she won’t let anything short of you decapitating the waiter stop you from getting some tonight”
4. if you’re tired of men making half-assed commitments, stop fully committing to half-assed commitments.
i mentioned something similar in our q&a on ruby veridiano’s blog.
quoting, ummm, me, “Trust me, all of those “lets chill sometime” commitment-phobic guys would be some courting-a**, exclusive mf-ers if they thought they had a shot at Kerry Washington. Basically, serious relationship-minded women need to stop giving a sh*t about guys who don’t really give a sh*t about them”
5. if you’re a short man…approach short women
***not to be confused with “if broke, date broke chicks“***
seriously though, while it’s true that all short women aren’t automatically receptive to interest from a shorter-than average man, you’ll have a much better chance with the munchkins than the supermodels. no sense in complaining that the aisha tyler’s of the world won’t give you rhythm if there are a gang of snooki’s out there waiting to be picked up and carried in your wallet.
with this in mind…
6. while everyone has a right to their own standards, people also have the right to say that you have some dumb-ass f*cking standards if you have some dumb-ass f*cking standards
***i’m talking to you, munchkin chicks with eyes only for power forwards and centers.***
7. if you have an attractive mate, other people are going to want to sleep with them. why? well, because they’re attractive. get over it.
personally, i never understood the reasoning behind getting pissed at the attention a significant other might receive from the opposite sex. obviously, you don’t want cats throwing dollar bills at your girl every you hit the mall together, but don’t you want to be with someone who other people actually want? isn’t it better to deal with baristas flirting with your man than having them wonder how you helped him escape from the methadone clinic?
8. if you eventually want to get married, date people who eventually want to get married
***not to be confused with “if you want to be approached more, be more approachable“, “if you want more people to be attracted to you, be more attractive”, and “if you want to die, date hoodrats***
9. sex is important to most people
no, really. it is.
seriously. i know it’s hard to tell whether i’m being serious, but trust me, i’m not even joking here. i’m dead-ass. sex actually does matter.
10. “single” is better than “sh*tty relationship”
it’s amazing how many emails and questions i receive from women lamenting their sad singleness as if they’ve been damned by the ghost of vivica’s second face. while i understand that it can be lonely if you think you’re always looking from the sidelines, sitting and watching is better than tearing your ACL in a bullsh*t pick-up game.
the grass might seem greener on the other side, but that’s only because most lawns are full of sh*t.
anyway, people of vsb.com: did i miss anything? also, do you think there’s some truth to the idea that people intentionally ask stupid questions they already know the answers to, or do you think that there are more people than we realize who just aren’t that into intelligence?
—the champ
“***i’m talking to you, munchkin chicks with eyes only for power forwards and centers.***”
I think those power forwards are just as into the munchkin chicks are they are into them. Super tall men always seem to go with lilliputians. They likey, it seems.
I’m 4, 11″ and I prefer tall men (gotta think about my kids!) but I don’t discriminate and have dated guys from 5, 5″ up to 6, 8″. There’s something about a man 6, 0″+ though that really does it for me. It’s like climbing a sexy mountain…
“It’s like climbing a sexy mountain”
even though this was written by a woman describing a man, this is gay
Must you be so mean Champie?! *heads off to the corner*
Pause!!! You gotta say no homo grandad
I think I fell in love.
And meanwhile us 6′ chicks keep getting hit on by the 5’1 dudes.
I swear!
…well try being in your 20′s and still have teenagers (18/19) hitting on you because you’re short (5’3) and look young despite your humps and bumps…
try being in your 30′s and have teenagers (15-19…gross), young tendas(20-28) and durty old men(45+ (not the grown and sexy kind either)) hit on you because of your humps and bumps LOL
I know right. I’m 24, 5’1 1/2 (the 1/2 means a lot to me) and yesterday this 15 yr old tried to hit on me talking about he thought I was in High school despite my humps and bumps…
@YAYER
I’m 5’8…work in a high school…and these little boys try and holler. I don’t think it has to do with height…if you have a young face…they are gona try and test.
Numerous times I’ve been walking w/ a male student in the hall and some boy will shout out “Yo, such and such…is that your shorty?!”
@Jai.. I’m with you on that one..
the worst thing Aaliyah EVER could’ve done for me was sing “age ain’t nothin but a number..”
(R.I.P. baby, but D*MN!!)
it’s not the men in my age group that want it.. it’s the young ones, and the old ones..
and the ones with rings..
#dontgetmestarted
@T
People laugh at the 1/2 and don’t want to include the 1/2 when you see the doctor. I’m 5′ 1/2″ and I make them include it. That is all.
Hell, it ain’t just short. I’m 5’3” which is short, but not enough to audition for the Keebler elves commercials. It’s this lovely babyface. Stop pinching my cheeks…
I was just talking about this the other day I’m 29 and still get approached by younger men and boys. I’m somewhat petite and look young but don’t dress the part and these little boys still try to holla. While it’s irritating, it’s nice to know I’ve still got it.
BTW, this post is hilarious!
I scare the “shorties” away w/ my 3-4 inch heels. When I’m a full foot taller than them, they tend to walk away w/ their tail between their legs.
Agreed! I’m 6ft tall. ALL of the men that approach me are under 5’8. What makes it worse people tell me “your standards are too high”. Usually the people saying that are the 5″4 women with 6’5 husbands. lol
@MsEsquire77
uhhhh ma’am i need you not to be just one inch taller than a dwarf. that is all.
Gemmie, I thought we’d made peace but now I see that I may need to cut you!!
I must admit MsEsquire,, I would like to see you in a picture with KG, that being your man and all. Wait, or is it Gem’s? Who won? lol
et tu, cheeks?!?!?!?! how dare you assign MY boo to the likes of a midget!!!
lmfao Gem, you gotta admit it’ll be a funny sight. How tall is Garnett anyway? lol Dayum.
But yeah, I didn’t even see the results of ya’ll throwdown so I can’t really say whose man it is. lol
Cosign.
I may start quoting this at random. Dude, you look like a sexy mountain…
BTW I am 4 11?too and no. 6 makes me sad
)
Anyway I have never had a problem-it’s always the 6 footers and over that are thirsty for my munchkiness. I ain’t complaining
Men over 6 feet & taller have a lack of tall women 5 feet 8 inches and taller available. Oh you don’t get it? It’s like the whining here about there being no qualified black men available for the sistahood. Diff being tall men will date/kick it with a short chick 5 feet 5 inches and shorter if she’s cute, curvy, etc. where the sista won’t date out. Your bad, you’re self checked. Men and women both have the Napoleon Complex.
@ Cheekie
I think those power forwards are just as into the munchkin chicks are they are into them. Super tall men always seem to go with lilliputians. They likey, it seems.
ARE THEY ARE?? LOL
Yeah, that was a #fail. Call me the #typoqueen, then kiss my feet.
Correction: “AS they are”. lmao
I’m a 6’1″ male and I absolutely LOVE short women. They….er….”fit”….properly. Apologies, I couldn’t think of a better term. Due in no part to coincidence, I’ve never dated a women taller than 5’5″. I *would* date a taller women, but I most certainly have a preference for shorter women. But don’t call me names–my mom is short and thick so you could say I got it from my daddy:-)
So THAT’s why they keep hollering at moi….thanks for saying what noone else would. Hehe.
“***i’m talking to you, munchkin chicks with eyes only for power forwards and centers.***”
Hey leave us munchkin chicks alone… Lol!
Funny enough, I have never really cared for a dude’s height… but ended up dating some really tall ones… *Liz shrug*
So true, so sad – 5’10″ here, NEVER dated a man taller than me. They’re always nearly my height or shorter. SMH!
Long time lurker here…
But I love this post! So much truth! Lmao @ “wonder how you helped him escape from the methadone clinic?” I want to send this to all my friends. Esp #10. Single does not equal doomed. Nor does it equal fail.
*back to lurking*
“Single does not equal doomed. Nor does it equal fail.”
it does equal lonely though…but there’s nothing wrong with that. welcome and sh*t, btw
“it does equal lonely though”
You can never be alone if you LOVE the person you are alone with:)
You can never be alone if you LOVE the person you are alone with:)
touche and sh*t
Loving yourself and being lonely from time to time doesn’t have to be mutually exclusive. It’s perfectly normal to crave intimacy with another human being. When I get in those funks, I think back to the lowest points of my last relationship and it usually snaps me out of it with a quickness. Single lonely can never compare to sucky *ss relationship lonely.
A-to the MEN!!!
Dane Cook had a name for a “sucky *ss relationship”. Replace the P with a T.
Now that’s a cute lil line but YOU CAN SO BE LONELY/ALONE even if you’re with someone YOU love. You’re probably under 30 years of age and sh*t.
touche my a$$.
@I Throw My Poo
You really throw your poo?
Carmie7373,
It’s just a “state of mind.” But when these monkeys wanna get to actin bad I hittem wit some silverback gorilla sh*t. Now who’s the effing monkey?
“Loving yourself and being lonely from time to time doesn’t have to be mutually exclusive”
I agree. It’s natural to feel lonely at times, but to allow it to consume you is my issue.
Lonely and Alone are two different words. Sometimes you can be alone but never be lonely (in the words of India Ari).
Ex. I’m alone because I am occupying a space by myself-(physical state). I am lonely because I long to have someone occupy this space with me -(state of feeling).
Also, what was your debate in response to Champ’s comment? Why was there an imposed understood “other person” involved, if single was the issue?
Sorry this is so late and what not, but this seems a little Tyler Perry/MaryJ/IndiaArie/JillScott-ish – (stuff people say really loudly hoping that it will drown out the truth). If you don’t think lonliness is a problem visit a senior citizen’s home. #everybodyneedssomebodysometime
I say this with love…Finished.
like my mom always said, ‘mejor estar solo que mal acompanado’! “better to be alone than in bad company’
it’s not a bad thing to desire a meaningful and ‘make me get some goose bumps’ hug. but who/what is preventing us from getting it? that huge list of prerequisites, perhaps?
“10. “single” is better than “sh*tty relationship”
AMEN!!!!!! I am so tired of hearing my girls all whine about their messed up marriages and relationships and how he doesn’t do this and that, and then hound me because I haven’t found a man…Yeah!….I count my blessings, cause 1. I have to answer to no one but ME 2. I am not always gripping about some b.s., it does get lonely but a good glass of wine, a good movie and my “rabbit” make lonely feel like bliss….when the right one comes along drama will be to a minimal!
it does if you ran out of batteries….
He’s just not that into YOU
*literally
in response to
Single does not equal doomed. Nor does it equal fail
OH! I needed this! Sometimes people ask questions they already know the answer to but are afraid of what other people may say or think. I laughed too hard at the Snookie comment …I know a lot of short guys that date tall girls but then complain about the girl wearing heels as if they didn’t know she was already taller them him .. O.o
*than him ..oh #fail for not editing.
OH! I needed this!
that what she usually says
…After she gets her rabbit when u “finish”
Actually, I get the rabbit. . . then “finish” her.
LOL!!
i imagined you saying that in the “Mortak Kombat voice”…
*Mortal
we all know i can spell right, even though not always evident…
I loved this list but #s 4, 8 & 10 spoke to me! I’ve been guilty of this brand of silliness in my past but I’m better than that so it ain’t happening again. I refuse to let my 30s be as regret-filled as my 20s. (Youth IS wasted on the young.)
#9 just made me laugh because whoever doesn’t know this needs to move to Amish country or secure a spot at the YFZ compound.
Also, love that you not only used “cuckold” but worked it into the tags. A man with an impressive vocab is SO swoon-worthy
“Also, love that you not only used “cuckold” but worked it into the tags. A man with an impressive vocab is SO swoon-worthy
”
lol, i bet this is the first time that the words “cuckold” and “swoon-worthy” were so close in a paragraph.
Oh Oh, get it!
1. Because they are antiquated words (swoon-worthy is an educated compound word but not even a real word) and,
2. “Cuckold” suggests (from it’s most common usage) a man that is not desirable; therefore the use of “swoon-worthy” so close to it is ironic!
#A+ for me!
Shoot – now everyone on the internets knows that I am a perfect square
actually, cuckold is an old english word for ‘pussy whipped’….maybe its derived from ‘cock-hold’, as in, i have that sh*t on lock. its used in shakespearean plays.
*runs back to shadows*
#lovesit
So many spades here, you could run a Boston… However, I’m learned that common sense isn’t too common… Folk need reminders.
On that note:
#NoteToSelf Stop over-thinking things. If something sounds like BS, it’s because it is BS…
So many spades here, you could run a Boston… However, I’m learned that common sense isn’t too common… Folk need reminders.
this reminds me: i haven’t played spades in at least two months. i think i’m even starting to go through withdrawals.
It’s not withdrawals. Gem and I have been putting the smack down on you so much, you still feel the pain.
put the smack down on deez
you’re right!!! he’s been in denial over gettin that a$$ whooped. maybe at my “big gay kickball bbq birthday bash” (lmao) we can include a game of spades and remind champie what it feels like to lose to a couple of girls
I like to consider myself petite…not a munchkin! I date guys who are short and guys who are centers too. In fact a lot of tall guys are attracted to women 5’5 and shorter
In fact a lot of tall guys are attracted to women 5?5 and shorter
yeah, cheekie mentioned this upthread, and there is some actual scientific truth to this that has something to do with hips and puberty (i read about it on slate.com. i get all of my science news from slate.com. and my barber)
Yeah, my mama is about an inch shorter than me (she’s 5’2”) and she LOVES her men tall. But they usually go thirsty for HER first. So, blame the dudes, not the chicks. 8/10 times, the tall dudes are the one checking for the oopma loompas.
# 6 is the truth.com
But what really gets me is when short women, who are currently dating “tall” men, try to tell me that height isn’t a big deal. Heffa, you are 5’2, your boyfriend is 5’10, How da hell you gon’ tell my 5’7 a$$ that height shouldn’t be that important to me? It was important to you, it’s just that now that you have a SO, you’re pretending like it didn’t matter. How about all short women date men their height or shorter. I’m sure there are some house elves looking for a come up.
Anyway, good list, Champ!
“But what really gets me is when short women, who are currently dating “tall” men, try to tell me that height isn’t a big deal. Heffa, you are 5?2, your boyfriend is 5?10, How da hell you gon’ tell my 5?7 a$$ that height shouldn’t be that important to me? It was important to you, it’s just that now that you have a SO, you’re pretending like it didn’t matter. How about all short women date men their height or shorter. I’m sure there are some house elves looking for a come up.”:
shots fired!!!!
Could it be that 5’10 men like themselves some 5’2 women? it does take two to tango.
I’m not 5’2, but close. It just so happens that taller men try to holla. It’s not like all the 5’5 brothers were tryin to holla and I turned them down.
Of course that’s possible. However, that’s not what I’m talking about here.
The people who knock taller women for desiring a tall man are usually short men and short women who date tall men. The point is, if a 5’2 lady wouldn’t check for a 5’2 man (or shorter) what makes that chick think she should tell a taller woman she should date someone her height or shorter. She didn’t and probably wouldn’t. I call BS on that line of thinking from those women who think that way.
@NIA
I’m 5’6 and will NOT date a man under 5’10. That eliminates 90% of the shoes in my closet. I’m basically wearing flats if he’s 5’9 or shorter and that’s a negative ghostrider. It would take someone spectacular to make me respect the shortness.
I’m open to dating 5’8 and up. But, I will always initially be physically attracted to tall men.
It would take someone spectacular to make me respect the shortness.
THIS!!
LOL! I see your point. To think, I use to wish I was taller. 5’3 it is.
I think we (ppl under 5’3) suffer from the equivalence of white privilege. I never understand when women find a nice guy but cancels him because she can’t wear heels with him. I always think, why does that matter? But then again, I’ve never been in that situation nor will likely be in one since most guys are taller than 5’5 (shorter than that I start to worry about gland problems which is a whole notha deal).
#DEAD….”gland” problems? I’m dying with laughter over this one.
“I think we (ppl under 5?3) suffer from the equivalence of white privilege. I never understand when women find a nice guy but cancels him because she can’t wear heels with him. I always think, why does that matter? But then again, I’ve never been in that situation nor will likely be in one since most guys are taller than 5?5 (shorter than that I start to worry about gland problems which is a whole notha deal).”
***the analogy committee approves of this comment***
*Gallops and lands in a curtsy*
I concur!! Great analogy… made me shut up instantly…
*yup, I can’t put my feet in taller women shoes… literally… so I should just shut up and go about my business…*
This comment makes me sad…
Oh no! Why art thou saddened?
Not at your comment, darlin…I was responding to @SmartFoxGirl’s comment. Your comment was on point, esp. the heels thing. It bothers me that a man has to be a certain height just so that she can feel secure in wearing some heels. Shouldn’t his character (i.e., the way he treats you) be a little more important than this?
Don’t judge me DG…just sayin. Okay, so maybe I wouldn’t end it if he was shorter…I just wouldn’t start it…unless he is Lance Gross lookalike with Obama brain. Would you date a woman taller than you?
I’m not judging you, babe…when I said you, I wasn’t necessarily talking about you specifically. I was referring to your comment, that’s all. I’ve heard several woman say things like that, and it’s slightly annoying…I hear women say that it’s hard finding a decent guy, but then they say they PREFER a guy that’s at least 6 feet tall…which is counterintuitive to finding someone (for example, you don’t increase your chances of finding the right-fitting shoe by trying on fewer shoes, do you?) Granted, the avg. US male is 5’10 tall….but by definition, that means that there are just as many men below 5’10 as there are above 5’10. So basically, all the women who want a dude at least (insert random height) tall are essentially doing themselves a disservice by cutting their dating pool in half. What’s more, you’re competing against women of all heights (both midgets and amazons seem to prefer taller guys) for the same dudes. This is kinda what Champ’s #6 was about…I can see a woman who’s 5’8, 5’9+ saying that she wants a guy at least 5’10 or taller, but when the 5’0 to 5’7 women say it too, it’s like whoa…I say all this to say that the height preference is just that…a preference. The equivalent would be a guy (say, Lance Gross) saying that he only deals w/ women who are a size 6 or smaller…how many women, no matter how awesome they are, would make the cut?
And to answer your question, yeah, I’ve gone out w/ taller women. I tend not to approach many women taller than me cuz I know most women instinctively go for taller men (there’s been scientific studies and sh*t). But I would hate to think that if I approached you (I’m taller than you, but shorter than 5’10, mind you), I wouldn’t stand a chance because you couldn’t get past my height. H#ll, I knew you were 5’6 when I approached you, so why would you think you couldn’t wear your heels if we went out somewhere? Wear ‘em…3, 4, 5 inches, whatever. I’m secure in mine, so it wouldn’t matter to me. Any hangups about wearing heels when we’re out would be yours and yours alone.
DG,
sigh…you are right as you are always. In a perfect world but I’m far from perfect. So let me change it…my deal breaker is if he’s shorter than me. I can wear flats. *sipping tea and giving side eye*
Seriously though, height is a preference and only that.
@SFG…sooooo true. If you can’t wear your heels it is a wrap.
But us short women can wear heels, but it make the man feel less than. Or do short women get mad when they are somehow taller than their man?
“I hear women say that it’s hard finding a decent guy, but then they say they PREFER a guy that’s at least 6 feet tall…which is counterintuitive to finding someone (for example, you don’t increase your chances of finding the right-fitting shoe by trying on fewer shoes, do you?) Granted, the avg. US male is 5?10 tall….but by definition, that means that there are just as many men below 5?10 as there are above 5?10. So basically, all the women who want a dude at least (insert random height) tall are essentially doing themselves a disservice by cutting their dating pool in half. What’s more, you’re competing against women of all heights (both midgets and amazons seem to prefer taller guys) for the same dudes. This is kinda what Champ’s #6 was about…”
@DG I am 5’10 and there is a minimum height requirement for this ride and it ain’t got nothing to do with how tall a knee grow is.
But that is another topic.
I dig what you are saying… but I gonna have to keep it 100.
NOBODY wants “average”.
The truth is many of us end up aligning ourselves to societal ideals.. so if average is 5’10 then women would naturally gravitate to an above average and as a consequence anything shorter is viewed as “below” average.
So women want a broths who is 6′ or taller… because height has a raised value for men the taller the more social cache you have… so even shorter women want the status of a tall dude.
We will make exceptions for money, power, looks, bedroom game…and even though Prince could fit in my purse and he could get it because his total package makes him sponge worthy.
Let’s get real about average from a dudes perspective…
The average American woman is 5’4 and a size 14.
Now when Ye’ mess with dem big girls he’s talking about Ashley Graham who got the Lane Bryant ads banned…
(because the all the sensors got lil dyck scarit at the thought of trying to hit all that from the back… hence my height requirement… but I digress)
not my girl Precious.
And while I realize there is a statistical advantage to being a black man in the world of dating…
(me and my girl are seriously considering coming back as one based off that fact)
the truth is that there are a lot of brothas out there doin’ the banana cream pie foine a** chick knowing she needs medication.
Precious chicks are more plentiful… no pun intended… than Ashley and ain’t neither one in the Zoe Saldana class of gettin’ it in.
Why… because no one wants average ~JS
ha, I’m guilty. but I do see the err of my ways.
you’re right, in context a 5’8 guy is pretty tall to a 5’2 girl. you should be able to have your 6+ inch difference in height as well.
“Heffa, you are 5?2, your boyfriend is 5?10, How da hell you gon’ tell my 5?7 a$$ that height shouldn’t be that important to me? It was important to you, it’s just that now that you have a SO, you’re pretending like it didn’t matter. How about all short women date men their height or shorter. I’m sure there are some house elves looking for a come up.”
THIS. is truth.
we’re the same height (5’7″ thick in the thighs… erry thug dream wife, see the look in their eyes?- Eve. lol. ) and i’ve never dated anyone shorter than 5’10. and he’s the shortest i’ve ever dated. swore up and down he was 6ft, but that’s a whole other issue. lol. it’s funny though how someone 5ft can say don’t be picky about a man’s height… but i mean, you’re FIVE FEET. errybody and their eight year old is as tall or taller than you.
on the other hand though, because i love my future daughter, i’d never date a dude taller than 6’5… because between us, she’d prob come out pushing 6’1 and THATS when the ‘why don’t you just date a shorter guy’ argument is valid. lol
I knew you would hear me, Muze. lol.
@me
-it’s definitely LOVE in their eyes. even pimps mess up sometimes. lol
Just some food for thought here… I think i read somewhere that only 4% of the world’s population is over 6ft. Tall people, men and women are not the norm, “short” is. (i think the average woman is 5’3 and the average man is 5’10)
If all the short women only mate with short men, the number of tall people are going to be smaller and smaller over time. I had a roommate who was 4’10 and only dated men 6’0 and taller because she wants her kids to be somewhere CLOSE to average height. Which i think is pretty reasonable, she’s doing her part to help balance out the world. You glamazons are being selfish. lol
It may seem that way coming from a shorter woman but it could also be the truth. Height is really not a matter of importance to me AT ALL… I am 5′ 4 and 3/4 (Ha!) and I have dated from 5’4 to 6’4… Yes, the SO is tall but it’s a pure coincidence… I would have been with him even if he was 5’2… I like him that much. #yesIamcheesylikethat.
Man, I am notorious for the “let’s chill sometime” or “I’ll call you soon” lines.
When people ask dumb stuff, I usually flip it around by asking (in a quite condescending way, of course) what their answer would be if I asked them the same question. This makes it easy to tell who knows they’re asking dumb stuff and who is genuinely clueless.
That seems diva-dudish.
Because it is.
It’s not. A lot of people do/say things without actually thinking about them. This forces them to do so and flesh out their reasoning by explaining it to me, and oftentimes they end up solving their own problem without my input. Sure, I’ll offer advice and stuff if there’s a flaw in the logic or whatever, but it’s about helping people help themselves.
“It’s not. A lot of people do/say things without actually thinking about them. This forces them to do so and flesh out their reasoning by explaining it to me, and oftentimes they end up solving their own problem without my input. Sure, I’ll offer advice and stuff if there’s a flaw in the logic or whatever, but it’s about helping people help themselves”
i think they’re referring to the first part of your comment, not the second
This part…
“Man, I am notorious for the “let’s chill sometime” or “I’ll call you soon” lines.”
But I enjoyed the second part.
11. If you think you need therapy, you probably do. Don’t be afraid to seek help. Seriously.
say queensbridge
QUEENSBRIDGE!!!
12. If everyone talking to you is leaning away in a Tae Kwon Do stance, it’s time for a breath check and a couple Mentos.
i was talking to this woman and her breath singed my soul (smelt like she ordered azz w/a side of shyt…no exaggeration)…
Long time Lurker….
In the words of Lauryn Hill, “It could all be so simple, but you’d rather make it hard”. Some people just don’t get it, thank you for making it plain! Great post, will be forwarding link to friends. Love, love, love this blog!
while i understand that it can be lonely if you think you’re always looking from the sidelines, sitting and watching is better than tearing your ACL in a bullsh*t pick-up game.
* PREACH*
the grass might seem greener on the other side, but that’s only because most lawns are full of sh*t.
LOVE IT!!!!
I must lurk on…..
thanks and sh*t, for the love sunshine. welcome and sh*t, btw
the grass might seem greener on the other side, but that’s only because most lawns are full of sh*t.
….and sometimes its not even (yes not even) grass.
…yup! …artificial turf….
#10. Yes! I need to copy, paste and send this to a few chicks I know. I’d rather be single and happy than be miserable in some quasi-relationship type thing. They don’t feel the same way, they’ll take any piece of a man, just to say they have somebody. As far as people asking dumb questions, my grandmother used to tell us, “ask a dumb question, get a dumb answer.” So simple, yet so eloquent…lol
. *oh yeah Happy Birthday to me!!* I don’t think it’s too early for birthday shots! Line ‘em up. 
Ok, where’s our e-bartender! Bring out ‘dem shots! Bring ‘em out, bring ‘em out!
Happy Born Day, miss t-lee!!
Thanks Cheekie and Ms. Butta!
miss t-lee,
Happy Birthday lady.
Happy Birthday! I’ll buy you an e-drink.
Thanks girl. Herradura silver, salt on the rim, 2 limes.
Good taste in tequila.
*daps to you* It is indeed quite tasty.
T-Leecious!!! HAPPY BIRFDAY! May u only throat punch 1 person today. That is my birfday wish for you.
CTFU. *sings* when u wish upon a star. Yes, that’s right the chick who can’t stand Disney just sung the Walt Disney World theme song. Birthdays are a magical thing.
You know I got a kick outta the above.
Many birthday blessings to you, miss t-lee!!!
I appreciate the birthday blessings! It’s not everyday you turn *cough, cough*.
another June baby!!
happy birthday miss t-lee!!
June in the house!!!!
Thanks!
Happy Birthday- you just another year wiser…no matter the number, own it, Enjoy it, Revel in it !
Yep. I’m owning my number, just not ready to say it aloud just yet…possibly by tonight.
Happy Birthday!
Thank you.
happy birthday, sweera! I’m sending a line of springbok shooters from jo’burg for you, ok? down the hatch, girl!
Thanks!
My party will not be any comparision to ya’ll’s world cup party I’m sure.
I want one of those vuvuzelas !!
Happy Birthday, T-lee. Have a good one.
Happy Birthday! Cancerians Rule!
“Cancerians Rule!”
I agree my grandmother is a cancer. Happy Birthday!!
Yessir!!!!!
Happy birfday miss t-lee!
Thanks!
Happy Birthday (throws confetti)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You avi is killing me softly.
Thank you!
Happy Birthday Miss Tee to the Lee! lol *vsb glitter abounds*
Don’t be getting that glitter all up in my natural…lol
Thanks girl!
¡Feliz cumpleaños!!
Joyeux anniversaire !!
????????!!
Happy Birthday!!
Go shawty, it’s your birthday!!!
Ooooh snap. International birthday greetings.
Loves it!
Thanks!
@miss t-lee
happy birfday shawty!
Now I wanna listen to Lil’ Jon after reading “shawty”….lol
Thanks!!
may your birthday be a very masculine birthday
I just giggled a bit too loud in class and got a dirty look from my prof. That’s the first time I’ve had that GF quote thrown at me in regards to my b-day. Good job Champie!
“Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday, H a p p y Birth day”
sining in Janelle monae voice at the end of TightRope, I was off line last Weds on my b-day, but it was lovely just like I hope ur’s is!!!!!!
singing, that is LOL
Yes!!! Janelle is that junk!
Thanks!
Happy Birthday miss t-lee from one Cancerian to another!
Gooooo Team Chunk!
“Gooooo Team Chunk!”
We all we got!!! and you’re a cancer too? You’re good people in my book chick!
Thanks!
Happy Bday Miss T!
Thank you!
yay! happy birthday!!! *throws birthday glitter. not to be confused with welcome glitter…
I’ma beat ya’ll bout all this glitter…LOL
Thanks!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!
Thanks sir.
Happy Birthday MAMA!!!
Thanks chick!
I just didn’t wanna be left out #kidding…
Happy B-DAY!
LMAO!!! I never liked you anyway…ya pretty muhfcuka!!!!
*snickers*
Thanks!!!
to my fellow cancer–FELIZ CUMPLEANOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and wishing you many many many more beautiful years on this earth!!! *confetti* *gold stars* *glitter* *champ’s deez* *peej’s 3s* *liz’s bras*
its a CELEBRATION!!!!
“its a CELEBRATION!!!!”
You forgot the bytches part at the end. Ya gotta say it, ya just gotta!!!
Thanks ma!
oh right, damn sorry!
its a CELEBRATION, B*TCHES!!!!
Happy Birthday, Lady! Hope today is beautiful!
*sending over a cocktail of your choice*
Appreciate it.
Happy Bday, Miss T-Lee
Happy Birthday Ms. T-Lee!! May you enjoy many more years of serving throat punches to the needy.
From one member of Team Chunk to another, Happy b-day Miss T-Lee! May your throat-punches stay potent.
Your avi is giving it to ‘em!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
may I add your avi is off the chain lol. Been laughing all day at it. Love that movie btw…
Jai, ‘Preciate ya!
HAPPY BORN DAY!!!
Happy Birthday Miss t-lee!!
We shall celebrate (again) soon!
“he’s just not that into you if he tried to strangle you in your sleep” –
Not true. I saw that episode, and Owen is totally into Christina…however:
“Crazy-arsed stalker bastards can also be ‘into you.’ Take flight immediately, and possibly purchase a firearm.”
LMAO- I saw that episode of Grey’s. All I know is Christina is brave because if I ever wake up like that, ain’t no way I’m taking dude back.
I would take Owen back. That is one sexy, sexy white man. With that scraggely reddish beard and that half crazy desperate look to him? Yum. He can get it.
I thought of Grey’s when I saw that too.
Owen is into Christina but PTSD is serious! In the words of Gina Devereaux from A Different World “life is a funny thang, girl!”
“Crazy-arsed stalker bastards can also be ‘into you.’ Take flight immediately, and possibly purchase a firearm.”
good amendment.
Don’t get me started on tall guys and short chicks. I’m 5’10 and it pisses me off.
11.) You can’t MAKE a man fall in love with you. It is not their nature. No amount of poon, freshly baked cookies, or moral support can change this.
12.) On that note, if he’s just not that into you – move on. Most times it’s not personal. You could probably do better anyway….
13.) Figure out the difference between compromising and settling.
14.) If something seems like a bad idea, more often than not it is.
Think I’ll add more later
Great additions!
iLikes!
good points!
i like your #13 but i would personally readjust it as follows;
figure out the difference between settling and being realistic,and then after that compromise REASONABLY.
that’s all…
but keep ‘em coming!!
Duly noted
I concur with your additions!!!
Your crazy gravatars make me believe you must be really pretty (… or handsome?) in real life lol.
I’m a woman and I look like a frail version of Snookie and Unkle Ruckus
you’re 5’10? who’d a thunk it?
“11.) You can’t MAKE a man fall in love with you. It is not their nature. No amount of poon, freshly baked cookies, or moral support can change this.”
while you’re right, i do have to say that freshly baked cookies make it hard and sh*t (pun intended)
@Champ
Yep! Me and Tyra and Michelle O
And if freshly baked cookies worked, I woud have five husbands at a compound in Utah. Smh….
slain in the spirit!
*highfive* for alladis!… also, I’d like to give a special Karate Kid kick to the foreheads of all the itty-bitty chicks with tall-@ss men- ugh!… “always got to prove my love” lol
LOVE IT!! Great additions.
AGREED on all points!!
#4. Thank you for saying it. Women sometimes don’t realize the power they have. My man Dave Chappelle said it best, “Men have nice cars. Not cause they like nice cars, because they know women like nice cars….If a man could f*ck a woman in a cardboard box he wouldn’t buy a house.” Ladies, you don’t have to be in a half-assed relationship if you don’t want to be. Just promise me that you’ll start using your powers for good.
#5 Yeah, pretty much.
#10 This took me a while to learn. But once I learned it I realized how stupid I was before. The single life sucks when you’re feeling lonely late at night, but a sh*tty relationship sucks ALWAYS. Being single is not the end of the world and if you feel that way, it probably means you need to work on your patience.
“Being single is not the end of the world and if you feel that way, it probably means you need to work on your patience.”
I totally agree.
i agree on #10,but i tend to have a different take on it. don’t know if it’s just me but being an introverted recluse i tend to think some people confuse being alone with being lonely. two very different things,which can both contribute to the other or cause the other.
hope that made sense.
I agree that being alone and being lonely are two completely different but related things, but I don’t completely understand where you were going with it to be honest.
The single life sucks when you’re feeling lonely late at night, but a sh*tty relationship sucks ALWAYS.
This should be on a bumper sticker.
Oh yes, there are always people willing to buy bumper stickers. I like where your head’s at (pause).
Being single is not the end of the world and if you feel that way, it probably means you need to work on your patience.
May I add: AND SELF-ESTEEM
Very true. Sometimes it’s one or the other and sometimes it’s both. Some females (I say females because I haven’t see guys with this problem) have great self-esteem, but hate the single life because they are worried that their biological clock is going to run out. Some people can wait, but don’t feel good about themselves unless some chick/dude is hanging on their nuts/va-jay-jay.
Yeah T, desperation and low self esteem piss me off. My saggitarius a$$ is too much of a bulldozer and outspoken to sign on for being responsible for their sensitive feelings. Hello & happy b-day Cancers!
The single life sucks when you’re feeling lonely late at night, but a sh*tty relationship sucks ALWAYS
this is true. there are few things worse than being stuck in a sh*tty relationship. actually, there might not be anything worse than that. if you’re in a sh*tty relationship, you’re unhappy all of the time. there’s no vacation from that sh*t
“actually, there might not be anything worse than that. if you’re in a sh*tty relationship, you’re unhappy all of the time.”
The only thing I can think of that compares is living in Baltimore. Perpetual unhappiness.
The only thing I can think of that compares is living in Baltimore. Perpetual unhappiness.
this is true. being stuck in a sh*tty relationship is like being dukie from the wire
__________________
You are seriously trying to get me fired with these zingers, LOL.
“The only thing I can think of that compares is living in Baltimore. Perpetual unhappiness.”
Heeeeeeyyyy that cut deep. Baltimore is not as bad people think, theres a lot of great things that have been happening recently, one just has to find it. Pick up Baltimore magazine
http://www.baltimoremagazine.net/
Someone’s getting dumped today.
Yes, I do think there’s a lot of truth to folks asking questions they damned well already know the answer to….possibly just for the “connect.” But who knows….
“possibly just for the “connect.” But who knows….”
please expound
possibly just for the “connect.” But who knows….
please expound
Okay Champ…lets see if this makes sense:
A few years back a (much older) relative of mine confessed that she LOVES sex, but not for its orgasms, but more so for the closeness…that connect equals BOND (#noblkbond). And that pretty much translates to : Attention. Everybody needs it at some point or another….while a chosen few need it constantly.
And the same could very well go for some folks who tend to go to others with constant relationship questions. For the most part, they’ve already made their decisions and come to their conclusions long before they’ve brought the question to you. But for some “unknown reason” (but n/r) they insist on bringing it to you anyway. So bottom line, with that
connection“bond” comes….. (drumroll) –>>> Attention. Good, bad or unwarranted. Attention IS attention.However, in your case it turns out to be somewhat of a good thing…since its reciprocated thru today’s topic by bringing it to light and therefore given back to you by today’s commentary. Just keep scratchin’ their backs and they’ll scratch yours. LOL
Man, I love this frickin’ blog.
This: –“he’s just not that into you if he tried to strangle you in your sleep”– is not true.
I have an episode of Grey’s Anatomy to prove it. TV is always right.
And also this:–and by “only works in movies” i mean “only works if your name is idris elba and she won’t let anything short of you decapitating the waiter stop you from getting some tonight”–
Even decapitation would not be a deterrent. Sorry, thought you should know this. Get the gloves, we’ll clean it up and go get it in.
Carry on.
“Even decapitation would not be a deterrent. Sorry, thought you should know this. Get the gloves, we’ll clean it up and go get it in.”
Sometimes men are just so clueless. Duh! If Idris and I work together, we can clean up the mess in 1/2 the time.
Even decapitation would not be a deterrent. Sorry, thought you should know this. Get the gloves, we’ll clean it up and go get it in.
lmao right?!?! and for the likes of idris, id be like “sit back boo, you’ve done enough. i’ll clean up this mess while you rest”
#11 If you’re bored in a relationship maybe you should stop being boring. Don’t leave the match in your partner’s hand. You are totally capable of sparking a flame.
#12 Love is a feeling, commitment is a choice. Just because someone loves you it doesn’t mean they’ll stick around.
#13 You can be in love and be hurting, but love should never cause you pain. Anyone who loves you so much they “can’t help but hurt you” can KICK ROCKS. Better than kicking you.
Those are my add-ons.
–ACF
#13 You can be in love and be hurting, but love should never cause you pain. Anyone who loves you so much they “can’t help but hurt you” can KICK ROCKS. Better than kicking you.
co-mofo-sign!
Your #12 reads like a fortune cookie, a true fortune cookie, but a fortune cookie nonetheless.
ummmm I slightly disagree….love is an action and a choice.
Being inlove requires vulnerability which opens one up emotionally, loving folk period fam members etc, there is some pain associated honey, because love suffers long, and its in loving one another we are able to endure…but if folk are continually sh*tting on your feelings, then thats a problem.
I’m gonna agree and modify: Love most definitely is an action in choosing to act on it. My definition of loving someone is being invested in their happiness and well-being. The commitment comes from acting on that investment.
While I do believe that everyone has hurt or been hurt by someone they love, it is not LOVE that hurts you. What hurts are the mistakes of you and/or your partner.
mmmmmm folks do things unintentionally sometimes that hurt those who love them, because when you love you are so emotionally invested, the vulnerablility etc, thats suffering long part of love, and the part most people fear= being that open. *nods*
great additions. welcome and sh*t, btw
Thanks and sh*t. Glad to be here. Dig the blog. Hard.
#12 Love is a feeling, commitment is a choice. Just because someone loves you it doesn’t mean they’ll stick around.
WELL…twenny twen twen..n@gga. (friday plug) Preach. It took me 10 years to learn that lesson.
Love is a feeling, commitment is a choice
been awhile since i added to the vsb t-shirt collection.
#13 You can be in love and be hurting, but love should never cause you pain. I don’t know about this really. Never, ever? Ever? I can see indifference causing no pain, but expecting a normal, flawed human being who loves you to never cause you pain (and not of the unnecessary saahole variety) is a tad bit unrealistic.
I’m not saying that the person who loves you will never hurt you, what I’m saying is that the act of LOVING someone doesn’t include hurting them.
As in, if your partner says they say hurtful things to you because they love you so much they’re afraid you’ll leave. Saying hurtful things is NOT them actively loving you. That’s them acting on their fear.
I promise, I am not so naive to think that the person who loves me will never hurt me, but I do believe that the person who loves me will not hurt me out of fear or anger and then say that they do it BECAUSE they love me.
This is what I am saying, smh, to not care enough to give a phuck is one thing but when you care baby, its a whole ‘nother ball game, but like I said intentional hurts and unintentional pain associated with loving are two diff animals. The former you can do without and them peoples too, the second cannot be avoided but it can be minimized by loving in return, and the by products like being thoughful considerate, respectful, trustworthy, honest, true, kind, integrity filled etc etc
And yes, I truly believe that folks can only do what YOU ALLOW them to do. This victim-mentality-lack-of-ownership-what-us-gon’-do-Shug is so played and over-saturating the media and it saddens me that a lot of our communities have bought into this.
I learned a long time ago….not to expect someone else to bring something to the table that I’m not bringing myself, nor holding folks to standards that you haven’t acquired/nor live by yourself…. goes both ways.
Just added the last bit to my quotes list, might have heard it before but it makes sense now. Thanks
you aint neva lie, Ms. B
This victim-mentality-lack-of-ownership-what-us-gon’-do-Shug is so played and over-saturating the media and it saddens me that a lot of our communities have bought into this.
*where is Helena? She needs to read this…*
Ok, I’m leaving…
Champ this post is on point! I will definitely be sharing with the masses. #’s 4 through 10 are TRUTH! Once I learned these lessons, singledom has been a much more enjoyable ride
“while i understand that it can be lonely if you think you’re always looking from the sidelines, sitting and watching is better than tearing your ACL in a bullsh*t pick-up game.”
This had me on the floor. How did you know about my ACL tearing during a damn bs a** pick up game. This exact tragedy happened to me while I was studying abroad in Spain. The worst!
Great post sir!
“This had me on the floor. How did you know about my ACL tearing during a damn bs a** pick up game.”
i tore mine (12 years ago) in a pick-up game as well. damn f*cking pick-up games.
“the grass might seem greener on the other side, but that’s only because most lawns are full of sh*t.”
Dope.
i can’t take credit for that line. i heard it years ago while watching the and1 mix tape tour. i think either steve burtt or “go get it” said it.
“Stop fully committing to half-assed commitments.” <<< That's my #1 dilemma! I keep thinking if I give everything I've got, somehow…eventually he'll notice my unrelenting efforts and the desired behaviors will follow. #wishfulthinking
Most women….that's what we do. We live in "wishful falsalities" << not unlike that made-up phrase. *Sigh
I learn a lot from you guys. I really do.
Most women….that’s what we do. We live in “wishful falsalities” << not unlike that made-up phrase. *Sigh
i’m a big fan of invented words and phrases that should be real words and phrases. falsalities qualifies. welcome and sh*t, btw
agreed. falsalities sounds classy. me likey.
He won’t commit. Period. It’s like someone preparing your a dish you despise in such a spectacular way that you feel as though you should at least try it. But in the end, it’s still your least favorite dish and you don’t want to eat it for the rest of your life…no matter how good the cook makes it seem.
Take that analogy and go forth, young grasshopper!
Nice painting there, Mo. Thanks.
Raise the roof (don’t judge me I’m bringing it back) to #9!
Tried explaining this principle to a lady friend of mine (No I’m not 60 but I use the term lady friend), but she couldn’t get it. So I moved on to greener pastures, but now to her I’m the guy who did it all for the nookie (No Limp Bizkit). Just can’t win.
***Kanye Shrug***
SMH…her loss.
(singing) Just made it easy, for the cleanup woman…. (not 60 either, but that song seemed appropriate)
“Tried explaining this principle to a lady friend of mine (No I’m not 60 but I use the term lady friend), but she couldn’t get it”
is there anything more arrogant than a practically asexual person who thinks that everyone else should be asexual as well? well, other than kobe?
welcome and sh*t, btw
Almost forgot to mention the exact moment the light turned on! It was from the interview on I Am A SuperWoman where Champ confirmed that “typically, women don’t grow on men” and there is no thing she can do to “win” him over. Well, now that explains everything….
#dummymoment
“typically, women don’t grow on men” and there is no thing she can do to “win” him over.”
I think that most women are guilty of believing that this is possible. I know that I am. I need to stop watching so many romantic comedies. They are such B.S.
thing is, this doesn’t even happen that often in romantic comedies. usually its the widowed man or the reformed a-hole chasing jennifer aniston, not the other way around
Everybody goes through it at some point in their lives… Just be happy you know better now…
Yes, I’m quite relieved now Sula. Thanks.
champ!
i’ma give you an e-hug for speaking to my soul today. lol.
it’s funny how much time someone has for you once you don’t have time for them.
i just realized today how much i discriminate against short men, even subconsciously. it’s terrible. ioncaretho.
p.s. that formspring? omg seriously… idied. something is seriously wrong with you and PJ.
also, that question and answer on that blog…when you said something about a man marries when he determines that he needs, not wants, that woman in his life… yesyesyall. truth.
great post.
…and i still haven’t seen anchorman. but i am this week. lol
“…and i still haven’t seen anchorman. but i am this week. lol”
Me either. I’m so out of the loop.
good. i’m not alone then.
people, and by ‘people’ i mean champ and pj… act like you’ve cursed their mama if you say you haven’t seen that movie. goodness. lol
What about those of us that have YET to see any episode of The Wire… yet know all of the characters and the plotlines?
“i just realized today how much i discriminate against short men, even subconsciously”
lol, how do you subconsciously discriminate against short men? do you fight midgets in your sleep or something?
LOL
i just automatically write them off without even getting to know them… and even if i have gotten to know them and they’re super great, i still don’t consider them as dating potential.
funny thing is, i get hit on by short guys a LOT. like, you come up to my chin when i’m barefoot and AND right now i have 3.5 inch heels on short. iongetit.
“Love is not what you can live with but what you can’t live without.” (I forgets who)
Oxygen – can’t live without it.
Can you really not live WITHOUT the love of one particular person. who knows?
***sidebar I LOVE your blog (when is #20 coming)
“***sidebar I LOVE your blog (when is #20 coming)”
yay! this makes my soul smile.
chapter twenty shall be posted tonight or tomorrow, depending on the procrastination to work ratio. lol.
chapter twenty shall be posted tonight or tomorrow, depending on the procrastination to work ratio. lol.
I am so caught up into it! I have been waiting on Chapter 20 like I have been waiting for Dre’s album, Nicki Minaj to be relevant, for King Latifah to come out, for my eyebrows to come in, for Cheekie and PJ to make it official, for a VSB bbq….
Dre’s album, Nicki Minaj to be relevant, for King Latifah to come out, for my eyebrows to come in, for Cheekie and PJ to make it official, for a VSB bbq….
-BRUAHAHAHAAHA. and im spent.
*DEAD*
I hatechu, Jai.
“I am so caught up into it! I have been waiting on Chapter 20 like I have been waiting for Dre’s album, Nicki Minaj to be relevant, for King Latifah to come out, for my eyebrows to come in, for Cheekie and PJ to make it official, for a VSB bbq….”
LMBO! well damn. i’ve been put in the same category as the VSB bbq? i need to get on my writing asaptually. times is rough when my wait and the VSB wait are one in the same. lmbo.
RE: Magic Johnson – the NBA playoffs must be abolished from ABC
#5 – The first thing that popped into my mind was that 90s song “Don’t want no short, short man.” On that note, women don’t like short *snickers* men
#6 – Leave Chilli alone!
#8 – Not to be confused with “being in a long engagement with no apparent wedding date, ring or plan to purchase a home”
#9 – Leave Hillary Clinton alone!
#10 – the one thing I learned from watching Ricki Lake.
I’ll also add 11: If a man isn’t interested in you, stalking him won’t help.
NBA playoffs must be abolished from ABC
my name is keisha and i approve this message.
“I’ll also add 11: If a man isn’t interested in you, stalking him won’t help.”
it does in p*rn.
“#5 – The first thing that popped into my mind was that 90s song “Don’t want no short, short man.” On that note, women don’t like short *snickers* men”
Still a classic. Love that song til this day.
#1 OMG! You should put that on a t-shirt! I’d buy it.
sure (although i dont see why you dont just cut out the middleman)
I smell desperation in most stupid a$$ed relationship questions. Unless you’re saying what they want to hear, the question is usually rhetorical. Intelligence is knowing others and wisdom is found in knowing oneself. What’s the good in having two people who “claim/date” each other if it doesn’t work. (doesn’t fit) Follow the heaven within you, good or bad. If you haven’t found the 1 or 2 or 3, find solitude not lonlness so when you do cross paths with “the one” their tomorrows won’t be your yesterdays.
this is a pretty insightful comment from someone who throws their own poo. welcome and sh*t, btw
Welcome to you, The Champ. Glad you could be here with us today.
***not to be confused with “he’s just not into you if you haven’t spent a weekday with him since the series premiere of “boomtown“- now this right here was a long azz time ago, however -I used to heart that show*(Don’t judge)
Great list Champie-how can we make this post go viral like the samba dancing baby? I think that there are many that could benefit from this list and all your wisdom today…Side-Note*** it is my belief that you should start prepping folks for the Black-weblog Awards, cause if y’all don’t win all kinds of awards& ish* I’m done with voting for anything and anyone , and I’ll call double bullshyte on them, cause if Alvin Greene can win somethin, and y’all don’t #Imdonewithallthingsvotingrelatednolie
YOUR AVI IS PRICELESS!!!! LOL
why thank you, I was feeling very side-eye-ish today and his is true example of side-eye game TIGHT
Jai & bajanflchick
I’m under the desk….just dying over here! LMAO
Lawduhmercy… Shaggy.
Who is that in your avi?
That would be Mr. Precious in Pink Cam’ron
OH dipset dipset lol he’s a goon
“it is my belief that you should start prepping folks for the Black-weblog Awards, cause if y’all don’t win all kinds of awards& ish* I’m done with voting for anything and anyone , and I’ll call double bullshyte on them, cause if Alvin Greene can win somethin, and y’all don’t #Imdonewithallthingsvotingrelatednolie”
we won a few last year, but i don’t know if you can have repeat winners and sh*t.
Of course you can win again & sh*t Champie….YOU GET 3 TIMES MAX before they stop you , but then you get put into a whole nother realm *like Hall of Fame & whatnot …
oh yeahhhh.
me must go vote for them in eerry category.
and i PERSONALLY think everyone on VSB should pretend they care about my fiction blog and tell the BWAs to BRING BACK BEST FICTIONAL BLOG CATEGORY dangit! lol.
haters haven’t let me be great since 2007! ugh. lol.
we care!!
i’ve come to your blog but umm.. would need to start from chapter 1. i’m funny like that. lol.
#voteordie. diddy.
Its been a long time I shouldn’t have left you…
But back to the subject…
11. It doesn’t matter how busy he/she is if they really like you they’ll make time. It doesn’t matter if he’s a heart surgeon/trash man/ or president of the United States; if the ninja thinks your worth dating he’ll find time to date you. “I’m just so busy with school. my kids and my job @ NASA really just means your not worth his time. MOVE ON!!!!
“I’m just so busy with school. my kids and my job @ NASA really just means your not worth his time. MOVE ON!!!!”
lol, actually if someone is dating a single dad who works for NASA and is in grad school, i’d advise her to give him the benefit of the doubt
Nah don’t cut them no slack. Studies show that astronauts can still find time to stalk you by cutting out the bathroom breaks. Now if there’s no Depends in their neighborhood store, yeah reconsider.
OMG!!!!!!!!!! __________________________________________________
I am crying out laughing… Bwahahaha!
10. “single” is better than “sh*tty relationship”
You ain’t never lied.
i probably should have put that one at the top. and, i probably should have also thought of this 5 years ago.
Your relationships; romantic, platonic, familial, professional, etc are a reflection of the relationship/s you have with yourself. Secondly, just be responsible and capable of doing and giving yourself everything you want instead of depending on other people who will oftentimes disappoint you. Here are some of my favourites affirmations on dating/relationships: The fact is that we train others to treat us the way they do. Women who love too much are women who give up on searching for a personal meaning for their life, whose main job is to build a pedestal for the relationship and their man, who will find meaning in nesting an emotional attachment – efforts which will be rewarded most of the time with indifference and neglect. If on the other hand you show independence, on all levels – emotional, sexual, financial, intellectual, then you will become a wanted person – everyone is secretly in search of this kind of partner. It’s just the complicated web of our minds doesn’t allow us to be aware or voice freely our desires.
All in all just be yourself, you are good enough and lovable. Champ great list and most times “people intentionally ask stupid questions they already know the answers to” because being a grown and sexy intelligent person has its grown and sexy intelligent consequences, which might make you seem more fortunate than everyone else around you and people are more inlove with shit, drama, cheating, insecurity, ugly and settling. Honestly, people do what they do because it is rewarding in some way and not because they do not know any better, e.g. people who prefer shitty relationships because the drama is more exciting, adrenaline high much better than a mature discussion which is more less the same as flat beer.
Relationships are a means of learning self!
Your relationships; romantic, platonic, familial, professional, etc are a reflection of the relationship/s you have with yourself.
Word
“Your relationships; romantic, platonic, familial, professional, etc are a reflection of the relationship/s you have with yourself.”
This sounds good but I’m not sure it works well unless you’re the diety.
I think its more like; Your relationship inside informs and creates your relationships outside yourself. Yeah it goes both ways but 1 before the other. This way you know where the focus should be.
welcome and sh*t, rocks.
“welcome and sh*t, rocks.”
LOL.
“if you want more people to be attracted to you, be more attractive”
As a single women when I leave I home I look my best. My co-workers ask me am I dating blah blah blah. I am like if you stay ready you don’t have to get ready!
***i’m talking to you, munchkin chicks with eyes only for power forwards and centers.***
I am a munchkin that like point guards so I am cool right Champ:)
“sex is important to most people”
That’s true! Thst is why I am honest about a ninja not getting none right away! Seriously, I tell a guy that I am a virgin right away so if it is an issue we can move on.
“As a single women when I leave I home I look my best. My co-workers ask me am I dating blah blah blah. I am like if you stay ready you don’t have to get ready!”
consider this STOLEN!!!! retweet/rebookfaced and alla dat!!!
LOL…it’s yours girl!
“I tell a guy that I am a virgin right away so if it is an issue we can move on.”
Oh yea, how do you think that’s working out for you. re you 12? I always suggest women be disingenious as a test for mens worthiness. BRAVO! You should get everything you ever dreamed for this way.
BRAVO! You should get everything you ever dreamed for this way.
This is what I am supposed to focus on right? I am confused by your statement. Not sure if ot was meant to be positive or negative.
Natasha, It’s supposed to be facetious. I mean unless you think its good for you to be more disingenuous by administering test’s for others to “prove” (used lightly) worthiness. Take this any way you like, just take it. (smiley face)
Natasha, It’s supposed to be facetious. I mean unless you think its good for you to be more disingenuous by administering test’s for others to “prove” (used lightly) worthiness. Take this any way you like, just take it. (smiley face)
Thanks for clearing that up. I will take it, with a smile.
#11. sometimes the truth is not always the best answer (never play the game ‘have you ever’ while taking shots with someone who is insecure)
#12. it is cliche but people will do what you allow them to do. if the ratio between how many times you go out/spend time/be seen with a man in public is not equal or balanced to the number of times a man wants you to come to his house to get ‘da bizness’ then you know what it is about…
#11. sometimes the truth is not always the best answer (never play the game ‘have you ever’ while taking shots with someone who is insecure)
that game should only be played in a room full of single people. actually, f*ck that. it’s much more entertaining to watch the look on a guy’s face when his drinks to “have you ever had a double penetration?”
This wins today’s analogy olympics:
“while i understand that it can be lonely if you think you’re always looking from the sidelines, sitting and watching is better than tearing your ACL in a bullsh*t pick-up game.”
Hi boys, been awhile.
welcome back, boom
Great post….that’s all I have to say about that
For now
thanks, forrest
LOL, true Champ….LOL
#1 can also be a way for people to sabotage, or dilute etc their own feelings, if you will.
please expound
I’ve heard tell of men folk deliberately sexing another, in an attempt to dilute strong feelings for one, or to sabotage the entire thing etc. I’ve heard of women doing that too
It doesn’t really work on the feelings part but it does cause enough friction to monkey wrench the situation in most cases, its all rooted in fear.
3. best way to scare her away? do scary sh*t.
I was trying to convey this to my friends Sunday. This guy who I’m getting to know talmbout he “miss me”. I didn’t know what to say b/c I surely didn’t miss him…and I was confused as to how he could miss me and he doesn’t know me! We only hung out once!
A dude starts talking and saying certain things to early on in the dating process…he gets the side eye from me.
Same here but that sounds cute tho. Maybe he really did miss you, he just should have kept that to himself.
@SmartFoxGirl
Yeah, it was too soon. Just doesn’t make sense to me…how do you miss somebody you don’t know? Makes me think you fall for people very fast, ya know?
Then I had one guy ASK me if I missed him. If I didn’t say it…then I don’t,lol
He probably wears his emotions on his sleeve..and that’s not sexy first time in. lol
@SmartFoxGirl
Maybe…but he needs to get it together!
Apparently, it’s in the water..
I spent a total of 1 hour with someone when they came into town.. (pickup/dropoff from airport)
Now, he talkin bout he misses me.. -_O and how “these cookies remind me of you..”
WORD!?
i find that absolutely strange considering you don’t even know my last name..
@Nick_L_Odeon
YES GIRL!!! He doesn’t even know my last name!
I just don’t throw around phrases like “I miss you” to any old body.
another one I hate is “chexy”…I had to check him on that too. Makes me think you just wanna smash. If that’s not what you’re about…get a thesaurus and find another word to help you express your thoughts.
@Nic,
Uh uh girl he tryin to secure the pum pum..I know that talk. “Cookies” o_O slick ninja
re: -_O
well hello there stu scott icon!!! *waves*
I have to cosign on this……The guys I have been out with always do and say too much too soon….major turn off! chill ninja!
This guy who I’m getting to know talmbout he “miss me”. I didn’t know what to say b/c I surely didn’t miss him…and I was confused as to how he could miss me and he doesn’t know me! We only hung out once!
yep, those are the ones that will steal yo drawls….
Those are also the ones that will leave you bald-headed in the morning after they done stuffed all your hair in their pockets and ran…
If meshed well, I think this posts/comments have potential to be a great television show.
“Those are also the ones that will leave you bald-headed in the morning after they done stuffed all your hair in their pockets and ran…
o_O WTF?
yep, those are the ones that will steal yo drawls….
Well, at least I had the decency not to steal the ones that were part of a set…I stayed away from the nice VS thongs…I just took the ones she bought from JCPenney from the $2.99 bin.
#dontjudgeme
see this is where yall (menfolk) be messing up. this is a recession… we can turn all drawls into a ‘set’. you can’t just take a pair (and they always want to take the good ones that you wanted that cute waiter…never mind-i digress)
If i have a pair of yellow, pink and red drawls and have a red, pink and yellow bra…I now have 3 ‘sets’ smh.
#iamjudgingyou
Point taken…now you got me thinking of Ving Rhames in a store shopping for some lingerie….d@mn you and these crazy avatars of yours, woman…smh
Btw, I noticed the happy bday wishes last week…happy belated bday….
“I just took the ones she bought from JCPenney from the $2.99 bin. #dontjudgeme”
o_O So why exactly do you know this?
Shout out to all the o_O comments in this section…
“A dude starts talking and saying certain things to early on in the dating process…he gets the side eye from me.”
I gotta admit, that kinda weirds me out too. When a guy gets too “cushy/clingy” too soon. It’s a lil’ weird.
I met a guy who seemed really intelligent, he was writing a book on relationships and he just seemed to be a really together brotha.
We hadn’t even been on a date yet & the next day he started sending me pics of his pecs/biceps. His body looked good, but I had to delete/block his number…. too much + too soon = creepy…..
To answer your question, Champ, yes people intentionally ask stupid questions. I think its for many reasons- (1) they want someone to co-sign the foolishness they’ve got goin on, (2) they want to know if it sounds as crazy out loud -or in an email as it does in their own heads, (3) maybe they really are lost and need some guidance, or (4) they do it for our entertainment
which has to be the case of those that write Strawberry Letters to your self-proclaimed relationship expert, bald uncle steve’s radio show.The post was awesome. I know that I’ve said that I’m going to get a billboard for some of the things that have been said in this space before…but damnit! I AM GETTING AN ANIMATED LIGHT UP BILLBOARD for NUMBER 3. Yes, it is scary that you’ve already picked out our wedding song on date number one…
.:runs for the hills:.
As for #s 4, 8, and 10…i’m putting them in a little picture book and wrapping it with a big shiny bow to be delivered to some of my girlfriends. Maybe they’ll finally accept what I’ve been saying if I tell them that someone else has said it too.
As for #s 4, 8, and 10…i’m putting them in a little picture book and wrapping it with a big shiny bow to be delivered to some of my girlfriends
as long as you send royalties it’s all good to me
This couldn’t have come at a better time. I’m recently single and can’t seem to find the right man. The problem I have is the man that is “right” for me, I am not physically attracted to.
He doesn’t have to be a pretty boy and I can’t stand diva dudes. I just feel that I have to like what I see, otherwise you’re just a friend. I’m on 2 dating sites: pof and match. When I choose to respond to a guy I find attractive and if the little bitty phone convo is good and we meet…so far I have been dissappointed at how boring and shallow alot of men are. They want to sleep with me first, then get to know me later and I’m not down with that. Serioulsy. I love sex too but damn can I be exclusive? Call me conceited but my body is precious to me and I feel like I have the right to be choosy. Meeting men in the street is a toss-up. I get alittle bit of everything.
This is what I’ve encountered so far:
1) Good looking but dumb
2) Good looking but shy = no personality
3) Good looking but player
4) Good looking but arrogant
5) Good looking but whorish
6) Perfect and find out on date #5 that he’s not single. ?
I also feel like men get initimidated by me or try too hard to impress me. I just want a guy to be himself. The guy I’m spending time with now, I know is not the one for me. Trust I’m not one of those clueless chicks. I’m well aware of what I should and shouldn’t be doing. It’s just hard to control who I like.
I know I’m rambling. Just wanted to contribute my story…
Toota Loo mutha f*#kas LOL
@SmartFoxGirl
*sighs* yeah girl…it’s hard out there to find someone who you’re interested in and it’s reciprocated.
I’ve got about another 2 years before I sign up for Match.com. By my 30th birthday…if this dating game isn’t looking up…I’m throwing my towel into the virtual world.
Either that or a convant.
You’d be surprised. I’m more likely to respond to a msg online than I would be to stop and chat with someone in the street. You should try it. I’ll be 30 in Nov so I feel your pain.
@SmartFoxGirl
Love the upside down pic!
But yes, I’ve heard good things about some of those sites. And I mean hey…either way it can be hit or miss (in person or online).
Thx! I meant to tell you fab hair cut. I’m working up the courage. 4 hrs of blow dry/flat iron is killin me!
@SmartFoxGirl
thanks hun! I love the short hair. cut it only when you’re ready
…but I’m sure I didn’t need to tell you that,lol
@Nick_L_Odeon
YES! A dude will be attracted to me an I’m like “blech”
i’m in love with your hair too… i want to cut mine, but because it’s so fine i think i’ll look like “who shot john” by the time i make it to the car.. humidity is a beast down here!
i wish i’d gone natural when i cut my hair off 11 years ago.. but yours is BANGIN!!
@Nick_L_Odeon
thanks girlie!
i hear you..
I’m turning 32 in August.. and the pool down here is real shallow..
it’s not hard finding someone i’m attracted to.. it’s finding someone i’m attracted to at the same time they’re attracted to me..
THAT’S the hard part.. UGH!
Who you tellin, neighbor
LOL – I feel your whole list especially #1. My ex lucky number was ‘G’ (pause) but if it wasn’t for his actright personality, I would left before I put in all of those years….
My ex lucky number was ‘G’
Jai you made me choke on my water!!! BWAH HA HA HA HA HA HA
(why is my strike thru not working…alas). I swear he has been working on his Associates Degree for 12 years now and still has at least 2.5 more semesters to go (mute)…
But he was perfect in every other way (good googa mooga…sorry lost my train of thought).
I swear he has been working on his Associates Degree for 12 years now and still has at least 2.5 more semesters to go
LMAO!
I’m still laughing my ssa off
ROFL…..@ this whole post, seriously, that with a side of your Avi has made my day…I am eternally grateful
@SFG: that’s pretty much my POF experience thus far too.
or the all about online convo, but then more flopping than derek fisher on using the phone number they asked for.
WHAT IS THE POINT?!?!! ugh.
When they are hesitant to call or meet up…it’s cause they’re hiding something or think they won’t measure up to our expectations. They’re trying to make you like them through convo first so you won’t be so easy to reject them in person.
i guess. ugh.
bitchassness continues. diddy.
“The problem I have is the man that is “right” for me, I am not physically attracted to.”
Girl just always wear sunglasses… dats what Beyonce does- HA!
DWL!!
are you hatin on Be? Now you know you want Jay , there ain’t enough sunglasses in the world for that ish #eventhoughhelookslikejoecamel
LOL… hating? No. It was too easy to pass up. I for one shhhh actually like Beyonce and I think Jay is sexy (I know I know) I can’t put my finger on why but I bet it has a lot to do with that rock launcher I hear he’s packing *shrug*
I bet it has a lot to do with that rock launcher I hear he’s packing
(swoons)…clutches pearls. Jay has swagger….he looks good in his street clothes and suits. Plus he looks like he smells soooooooooo good (the rocket launcher is great added bonus)
I bet Beyonce started that rumor for justification purposes…either way you couldn’t pay me….well…*stroking chin* Rocket launcher you say?
@ Jai… I see where you’re going wth that and I concur
@ SmartFoxGirl… blocks out the Sun gurl, BLOCKS OUT THE SUN! O_O lol
sitting and watching is better than tearing your ACL in a bullsh*t pick-up game.
or breaking your arm playing flag football. steve smith. carolina panthers.
i’ll be back..
“or breaking your arm playing flag football. steve smith. carolina panthers”
lol, this comment read like a drake line
thanks! i’m doin my best to represent toronto. #nog20.
“while i understand that it can be lonely if you think you’re always looking from the sidelines, sitting and watching is better than tearing your ACL in a bullsh*t pick-up game.”
I’m putting that on a t-shirt. That is all.
welcome and sh*t
7. if you have an attractive mate, other people are going to want to sleep with them. why? well, because they’re attractive. get over it.
YES! Let the church say… AMEN!
no horn tootin’ …. BUT…..
im pretty. the world knows it. i get hit on all the time. this is compounded by long, toned legs, pretty 34Ds, smooth chocolate skin, tight tummy etc.
THIS is what attracted my BF who admitted that he and his boys had discussed that i had a “body for sex” ….. and now THIS is what he wants me to cover up/hide ( in sweltering TEXAS no less). i refuse to buy burkas in bulk because of your ego… i get psst’d and heypurrtylady’d no matter where i am or what im wearing….
mind you i DO NOT by any stretch of the imagination dress provocatively. my body makes EVERYTHING sexy
uggghh…. grrrrr… this is the source of many an argument.
Is that you Debralee?
*waits for vsb’s to ask for photo confirmation on Jess’ entire post.
THIS is what attracted my BF who admitted that he and his boys had discussed that i had a “body for sex”
*that should have been some info he kept to himself (not sure if I would like my man telling me how him and his boys use to discuss my body like that). Was this before you two became a couple? Most guys are very protective about their women…just my opinion “kanye strug”
im pretty. the world knows it. i get hit on all the time. this is compounded by long, toned legs, pretty 34Ds, smooth chocolate skin, tight tummy etc.
***paging humble one and the rest of the vsb’s***
Ooh may I, may I? I mean, we all know the drill by now. On behalf of Dr. Humble who had to respond to an emergency on some other site, @Jessknowsbest, “This statement is useless without pictures” (Copyright, Dr. Humble et al VSB, circa 2008).
“my body makes EVERYTHING sexy
”
Can SOMEONE PLEEZ get this on a t-shirt immediately… I’m so serious. “Hey, Baby I got yo money”
That would make a nice fitted tee…in hot pink of course.
“7. if you have an attractive mate, other people are going to want to sleep with them. why? well, because they’re attractive. get over it”
EXACTLY. Nobody wants someone that nobody wants.
I just had this convo with a friend of mine. I was explaining to her how women act like once you get a ring or a gf, everyone outside of your relationship should be unattractive to you and vice versa. She went on to say, “Well, would you want anyone complimenting your girl/wife?” I was like HELLS YEAH. She’s coming home to me, what do I care about them complimenting her? If they are grabbing her and giving the compliments, then we have an issue, but otherwise, nope.
“If they are grabbing her and giving the compliments, then we have an issue, but otherwise, nope”
yeah, you’d much rather hear “damn, you’re a lucky man” then “damn, did you lose a bet or something?”
Shoot! I will actually exploit those boyish good looks …he he he
got me a good upgrade to a penthouse suite in Vegas because the lady clerk was crushing on him… #FTWI think people in general spend too much energy focusing on external forces… Work on you and yours, focus on you and yours… Unless there is blatant disrespect, a little confirmation that I have good taste is a dang plus!
how YOU doin?
Its actually somewhat comical to me that so many women are just clueless when it comes to dating… GROWN ass women at that. I wont go as far to say that I’m a pro, but I definitely think I’ve mastered the art form lol. In the last couple years, I’ve dated a few guys all of whom were decent catches and wanted to be in a relationship and I was the one who wasn’t feelin it. There is really only one main rule to stick to if you want to know if a guy is worth your time… wait for it….
DO NOT SLEEP WITH HIM!!
DO NOT SLEEP WITH HIM!!
DO NOT SLEEP WITH HIM!!
DO NOT SLEEP WITH HIM!!
I’m not saying EVER of course. But at least until YOURE comfortable and he’s proven that he’s not going anywhere and he’s willing to wait until you’re ready. And when you do decide to do it, it should be something you decided on your own outside of sexy time, not while the two of you are rolling around half naked and he’s dry humping the sh*t out of your pelvic bone.. you won’t be thinking rationally..
Sounds simple enough right? WRONG. Women want it just as much as guys and we can allow ourselves to get so worked up over our attraction to someone and having someone new around, we give in too soon without doing our ‘due diligence’ and taking the time to decide if this person is worthy of having US.. not the other way around. Don’t sell yourself short ladies.
*diana ross sigh*…Ugh I heart you for this comment BK. That’s what I’m trying to do and these men give you the “okaaaay” look and keep slammin that easy chick while they wait for you to come around.
@SmartFoxGirl
Well let ‘em keep on slammin and you keep on doing you!! Eventually they’ll get tired of that when the novelty wears off or the chick starts catching feelings and pressing for commitment, whichever comes first lol. Then they’ll be back try’na holler..
Its especially important in the beginning to just fall back and let the guy do all the work. If he wants to talk to you, if he wants to see you, he will make it happen without you doing much of anything.
I think women often get confused and try so hard with certain guys.. they get confused into thinking they’re in a dating situation with someone when the guy is just viewing them as a jumpoff/potential jumpoff. They would realize this if they just *breathe* and take a step back, then they’d notice that THEY are the one who is always calling him first, asking him to come over, asking him to chill, texting him, etc. It comes off as desperate and lets him have all the power and control the relationship. They don’t even give a dude a chance to pursue them because they’re so overzealous w their attraction and/or excitement..
We speak the same language cause I never chase a man…never. I’m old fashion and probably a little conceited for it but I feel you gotta show me your interest and then I’ll reciprocate it. Preach!
if you are fond of a man NEVER lead with sex, keep in mind though that all the while he is probably getting that from a few places LLS, but thats ok, because you on a diff type of time and don’t want to be one of his cut buddies, but hoepfully he is not even doing that, but in reality*orange crush shrug* LLS
My dear Orange..yes indeedy
I don’t even know if the “do not sleep with him” applies to everybody…
I usually know what I want, and I usually know what I don’t want… Sleeping with someone on the first date or 10 years after meeting would not change what it is that I want and think I can obtain.
I would say this: “Know who you are and what makes you tick” Once you have that figured out, proceed accordingly.
A man can wait forever and then sleep with you and bounce… So while it may remove a good majority of dudes, it’s not fail proof… Again, know what it is that works for you…
but sometimes a sista just needs some errrrr “loving”
Recent lurker and fellow Morehouse alum…
#11- Pay attention to your significant other when they think you’re not…it’ll give you a small window into how they act when you’re not around them
#12- If something about their personality, character, family, job, religion, or whatever bothers you now, it will bother you later…it’s not gonna change
If something about their personality, character, family, job, religion, or whatever bothers you now, it will bother you later…it’s not gonna change.
i HEART this with my WHOLE heart! If it weren’t for the small things that annoyed me about my ex..i’d be married and living in NYC right now.
cosign Keisha Brown….I’d be in Cali myself , but those small things can make a big a$$ difference…..I ascribe to the whole intuition/gut thing….if you get that little twinge that says something ain’t right…It ain’t….at least not for me….
for sure. it’s hard enough to move anywhere. but to jump through the hoops i’d have to to get a work visa (or any sort of visa), leave all my friends and family behind..and divorce is NOT in my vocabulary? better to walk away before we spent thousands on a fabulous wedding. (and it would have been fabulous). and he would have been a great husband..just not for me.
*sniff, sniff. grabs kleenex..
“just not for me.”- GURL- it’s them four little words right there that make all of the difference in the world when it comes to everything….Men included
*Great haircut-just not for me
Great shoes- just not for me
Great man-just not for me.
as Jilly from Philly says “errythang ain’t for errybody”
“Recent lurker and fellow Morehouse alum…”
i’m not the morehouse alum. that’s panama’s province and sh*t. welcome and sh*t, btw
I don’t know if this was mentioned but….
11) Foolish philosophy: Marriage/pregnancy will cure infidelity.
Sigh…
11) Foolish philosophy: Marriage/pregnancy will cure infidelity.
Sigh…
thats another entry in itself, “worst reasons to stay in a relationship”
Ooh ooh write it so I can share it with my friend! Please and thank you!
Ewww that’s not very nice… I take it it’s too late to warn them, no? Just a guess.
I’d like to add input to that article as well sir. lol
This same foolish philosophy can be applied to “Why I’m divorced, broke, with kids…did I miss the signs?”
“This same foolish philosophy can be applied to “Why I’m divorced, broke, with kids…did I miss the signs?”
Reason # whatever the fcuk not to get a divorce/married. Money. An appeal to sentiment. Kids. (Broke) Everybody has a price huh?
Who can say for whom? The subsequences are yours to make.
“the grass might seem greener on the other side, but that’s only because most lawns are full of sh*t.”
Beautifully put.
thanks and sh*t. i try.
If you’re in a long distance relationship — it’s over.
If you always say I love you first — it’s over.
If your man goes to the club once a week without you — it’s over.
If you wonder if you feel the need to check his phone/computer — it’s over.
That thing that made it easy for you to manipulate her is the same thing some other guy uses to manipulate her.
If she never puts out or shows affection, but always calls two months after you give up and cut ties . . . stop picking up the phone when she calls, you chump
If she just slept with your brother last week, (and you both live at your parents’ place) don’t try to lock it down after you get some the following week. (True story).
“If she just slept with your brother last week, (and you both live at your parents’ place) don’t try to lock it down after you get some the following week. (True story).”
Jaw-drop, fit of laughter, followed by shakin of the head…back to laughter.
“If you’re in a long distance relationship — it’s over”
i disagree with this. they aren’t easy. they aren’t for everyone. the odds are stacked against them..but if an iraqi can marry a jewish person (true story, i did the pre-wedding party), anything is possible. kevin garnett.
If you have to lurk around her place of residence at ALL hours of the day and night to try to see what she’s up to – it’s over!!! No, I was not cheating but now I recognize you as a sick-ass stalker, so it’s over!!! BTW, I’m new to the site and I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it!!!!!!
“If you’re in a long distance relationship — it’s over”
i disagree with this. they aren’t easy. they aren’t for everyone. the odds are stacked against them..but if an iraqi can marry a jewish person (true story, i did the pre-wedding party), anything is possible. kevin garnett.
there are exceptions to every rule. this marriage happens to be one of them. just because drinking bleach might kill HIV, it doesn’t mean that you should try it
well i wouldn’t equate dating long distance with drinking bleach…
i’ve done them. would do it again. dating here hasn’t proven to be any more or less successful. drake.
I think this is a bit of an American thing… Y’all don’t go live abroad very often (or even far from your place of birth)… so it might not make sense in the American context… but for most other people? It is a reality.
At the very least, 90% of my married couple friends/family (even my parents) were long distance at some point of the relationship….
the reality of coming from a 3rd world country and going abroad for schooling… So LDRs work in certain contexts… where I’m from, it’s almost like a rite of passage of most relationships.Thank you Sula. This is a reality for some of us third worlders (o and women that live in Atlanta). My LDR is something that most will call hard to do but we make it work and that’s what matters. Like he says, for the right person you will do it.
#ChrisRock-NoSexintheChampagneRoom
I cosign the following: Numbers 1 – 10.
I even cosign the spaces in between each paragraph, that’s how on point you were today Champ.
“Common Sense Dating Tips For The Common Dating Dummy” should be the new title.
That is all.
“Common Sense Dating Tips For The Common Dating Dummy” should be the new title.
damn. you might have just given us a title for the next book
#2,
…or she could be a hoe….Fa Sho
fa shooooo
#6 was aimed right at me. I laughed so loud, the whole office looked at me.
welcome and sh*t, a. and way to have a creative screenname.
I’m late to the game (west coast time…no Lakers) but I’d have to add that women aren’t dumb. Well, most of us aren’t. Most of us excuse that bs you men do in the beginning, non-exclusive stages of the relationship because we are doing the same thing. We don’t care that you when to the club and got Courtney’s number because we got Mike’s number as well.
All’s fair in that “non-exclusive” world
However, when it get so exclusive…all that bs has to stop. Rules of the game.
random question…if you are in a new relationship with someone and they call you by there ex boyfriend/girlfriends name 2 times in a row….should you break up eith them or keep things goin??? And when I say 2 times in a row RIGHT after sex..smh….what should someone do in this situation???
we gonna pretend you didn’t ask that question because you already know the answer…
*snicker*
LOL.Basically.
oh, nooo, honey! someone has been hoodwinked, bamboozled, and led astray, darling.
Congratulations, you have now been promoted to the rank of Captain Obvious.
Leave that person, J. KTHXBAI!
This list and everyone’s additions are great. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t guilty of some of that stuff in the past. I appreciate all you guys do in the name of fighting crime. Miracles and blessings, VSB & Liz, miracles and blessings…
And “the grass might seem greener on the other side, but that’s only because most lawns are full of sh*t.” is my (properly attributed to The Champ of VSB) is my facebook status. It was typed.
I would like to add the following based on real sh*t done by grown folks…
#Unless you’re Jan Brady having an imaginary boyfriend to make you seem desirable to a dude isn’t a relationship strategy… its just sad.
And should dude ever find out about your George Glass experience he will (and should) fire yo’ a**.
#My girl came up with a great definition for cheating…
“Giving one or more people the false impression of monogamy, whether directly stated, implied, or not refuted, when you know that is what they want.”
You know who you are… please stop telling crazy chick just went off on me for no reason stories isn’t one black eye enough diva dude.
#Please stop living like a lesbian and then complaining you never meet any good men.
You work in a predominately female profession, go to a church for women, belong to an all female running club…
The last restaurant you picked was full of couples, gay men and chicks sipping cosmos complaining about not being able to find a good dude.
Ellen DeGeneres comes in proximity of more peen than you.
#Good brothas aren’t unicorns… they really do exist ~JS
cosignery to this whole comment.
okay, maybe i’m just in a cranky mood today, but:
1) magic johnson ain’t that dumb.
2) why the HELL short chicks got to be munchkins!? what? like we can’t be fine, too?
*logs off*
p.s. maybe, too, i’m just pissy because i went to a party last night and the only man not checkin for me is the one *in my kristin chenowith voice* i hads my eye on. later, somebody tells me, “he’s into tall women.” um….last time i checked i was hot (no conceitedness). so when did men start having a height requirement!? i mean, i’m over it, but still. ugh. the b**tcha*sedness has got to stop.
p.s.s. i fully agree with 1,2, and 7. and then #4 is just the handbook by which i live.
okay, i actually agree with all of them. number 6 and the part about magic johnson just rubbed me the wrong damn way. lol
why the HELL short chicks got to be munchkins!? what? like we can’t be fine, too?
What would you rather be called? Oompa-loompas? Monchi-chis? Lilliputians? Take your pick..
And as far as short chicks being fine, girl stop. Many of the baddest women I know personally are 5’5 and below. In fact, I dare say short women have it easy because we (i.e., men) generally don’t give a d@mn about a woman’s height. You have your pick of the litter in terms of guys: you can date short or tall….doesn’t matter. On the other hand, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard women barely over 5′ feet say stuff like “I generally go for guys 6 feet and up…” Really? smh
In fact, I dare say short women have it easy because we (i.e., men) generally don’t give a d@mn about a woman’s height
she could look like Mumm-ra,with a hump, a slight limp, have a cock eye that goes ‘that away’, and drools but as long as she has a big azz….
she could look like Mumm-ra,with a hump, a slight limp, have a cock eye that goes ‘that away’, and drools but as long as she has a big azz….
Then, I would say, “Damn, look at the Treasure Troll with the big azz.” Then, my boys and I would look, admire the azz, and walk away.
No one wants to be with a mud duck but other mud ducks.
The More You Know…
“No one wants to be with a mud duck but other mud ducks.”
heh heh heh.
i keep trying to tell my low standard havin platonic male friends this. my rationale:like who you like, by all means. but don’t wonder why noone else finds the mud duck that you would bang, attractive. you’re just looking through mud duck-colored glasses.
I was fixin ta say that is ironic because mud ducks (the animal) aren’t actually unattractive.
And then I googled it…
http://fishingjones.files.wordpress.com/2008/07/mud-ducks-for-web.jpg
And like wow… somethings just are ~JS
@ jhane sez.
they have a nice body, though. lol
Champ,
I think people are more unintelligent than we realize. Those were good tips, for dummies! Me personally I think broke people should date broke people.No need to take care of a man or a woman that doesn’t want something. I’m just saying. I also think it is fair for men and women to ask if the other person is willing to reciprocate the expectations they ask for. (ie “I see here you want me to rub your feet, would you rub mine?”)
Funny. So I just came back from my lunch break and was asked a stupid question by my I-thought-she-had-common-sense friend. She’s been talking to this dude for a few months now and they haven’t done the dew and last night she took matters into her own hands, practically begged him to hang out and decided to seduce the fella. I quote
Friend: I sat on his lap and straddled him and nothing happened
Me blinking profusely: What do you mean nothing happened?
Friend: He didn’t get aroused. Heck he didn’t even touch me. You think he’s gay?
Me: Nope he’s not gay. He’s just not that into YOU.
He’s just not that into YOU
**literally
People ask the darndest things
I’m just that into your avatars…all the time. That is all. Also, eff the plantation for not allowing me to fully engage in today’s comment thread.
Usually I don’t do this but…Best. VSB. Ever. Should probably leave work because I am done.
First let me say forgive me for not reading all of the comments…a sista has been busy as work for the last week, so if I repeat something that has been said…oh well.
“if you’re a short man…approach short women”
Ok, I’m 5’2″ & I don’t think I should be doomed to date a 5’5″ dude just because of that. I mean like somebody said up there (when I read a few comments) The tallys like the shorties too! I can’t begin to tell u how many 6’5″ hit on me and BTW that’s a bit too tall for me. I prefer somewhere between 5’9″ to 6’1″. I’m like, if I get with a muchkin and we have a son then he’s doomed to be one too. *PAUSE* OK breathe…
And also, I think the reason that alot of tallys go for the short women is because they dont want to have giant kids. That is all
Dood should have slayed her dragon just for GP.
*smh*
It’s just rude not to.
nice avatar
I’m so sad that I’ve been busy today and am just checking in. I love this blog. Im off to read what im sure will be some truly entertaining replies
That is all.
Pingback: Guest Post- 10 very smart dating tips for dummies « Mzmish122's Blog
#113
Stop chasing these men, often nothing good comes of it. Let a man court you and chase you. It’s in most men’s dna to hunt aka, go after what they want. If a man wants you believe me he will let you no. Stop calling him 10 times and leaving 20 voice messages, stop showing up at his place unannounced, simply stop the madness. If he’s not courting you let him be.
great post. the comments make it even better.
#2 is sooo not true…I tell a guy I’m interested about other guys I’m seeing sometimes in general conversation…and….. dangit that could explain why he doesn’t think I’m into him….oh how can I undo the error of my ways!!!?????
great post. and the comments make it even better. digging the website.