10 Thoughts About “The Birth Of A Nation” » VSB

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10 Thoughts About “The Birth Of A Nation”

[***If you’ve read any articles about this movie, there are no spoilers. Also, Nat Turner dies at the end. That is also not a spoiler.***]

Last night, I saw The Birth Of A Nation (BOAN), the story of slave revot leader Nat Turner, helmed in every part by Nate Parker of Peak Fuckboy fame. For that reason, I was on the fence about seeing it but the truth is I wanted to see the movie as Nat Turner has always been a subject of immense fascination to me (I was one of the folks rocking Nat Turner University t-shirts back in the 1990s), and I also wanted to be able to talk about the movie. I figure that with all of the well-earned negative press Nate Parker is getting, especially in Black circles, at some point, talking about the actual movie would need to happen. Of course, it comes out nationally on Friday, October 7th, so I imagine the discussion would shift then, but if I had to wait until then, I’d have had to pay to see it.

I rebel against paying for movies.

1. I was somewhat disappointed in this movie. Here’s why: Because of all of the early press and the record setting $17.5 million price tag attached, I actually thought we might be getting a game-changing movie. The fact that it was about Nat Turner was icing on the cake to me. Despite the negative press, I went into the MOVIE with fairly high expectations, and they weren’t met, almost anywhere. Don’t read that as it’s a bad movie; it’s not. It’s just not the movie I expected. I was looking for a movie with significant depth into the psyche of a man who struck the fear of God into white America with God at his side in the 1800s.

I expected a galvanizing movie, especially amidst the times we live in. I expected to be moved in a way that I was moved at 12 Years A Slave, except moreso because this time we fight back. 12 Years was a movie so jarring that I truly hope to never see it again. I could watch BOAN again, and not with any type of “gotchabitch” towards overseers like in say, Django Unchained, but just as a movie about man who had too much. Not that I’d watch it over and over, but it just didn’t have an emotional impact on me the way I expected.

2. I often find it hard to reconcile how kid gloves soft we treat some of these white savior slave owners in these movies. BOAN features more “somewhat good whites” slavers whose moral dissonance was on display in a sympathetic manner. There’s nothing like seeing the white slaver being nice-ish and actively being uncomfortable with treatment of other slaves…while being a slaver himself because economics. I just don’t really buy the “some of these folks were good people at heart trapped in a time where the social order of things dictated a racial violence hierarchy.” Those white folks were trash. Plain and simple.

3. This movie was nowhere near as graphic as I expected. I don’t know if I’m desensitized to depictions of violence, but I expected to see blood everywhere and I didn’t. I even thought that the two instances of rape mentioned in articles I’ve read would be uncomfortable. But that’s because I expected actual violence. I realize they could be triggering as presented, I just expected them to be aggressive, and not implied. You know it happened, but we were treated to the before and the after. We were spared the violent actions of them. The Roots remake was more graphic. To be clear, I’m not saying that I wanted to see those things, what I am saying is that I’ve read articles speaking of those scenes, and specifically of Gabrielle Union and how she handled it given her history, and well, I was just surprised. Even the killing scenes were fairly tame. I’m not saying it was The Chronicles of Narnia, but definitely not as much gore as one might expect of a movie depicting a slave revolt where babies were killed and it was all done with knives, axes, and mallets.

4. If not for the negative press, I feel like Nate Parker would win the Best Actor award at the Oscars. He put his entire ass into this acting role. I realize that nobody cares, and that’s fair. I’m just pointing out what seem like facts. It almost seems like he truly prepared his entire acting life for this role and movie. The Academy isn’t exactly full of people looking to make a point or statement, so I imagine Nate Parker will be nominated but I’d be very, very surprised if he were to win. I’d also imagine the boos and backlash would be swift and Twitterific.

5. Despite what I said about being somewhat disappointed, it’s a well done movie. Great care was taken in several arenas with the directing. Parker clearly cares a great deal about this movie and how it was presented. Damn shame he didn’t feel that way about his own presentation. Sometimes I feel like Chris Brown is his PR manager.

6. I feel like they took some fairly substantial liberties with parts of the movie, namely Nat Turner as a person. It’s been a while since I read The Confessions of Nat Turner, and it is entirely possible that the account of Nat Turner could be entirely fabricated, but they made this version of him seem a bit, warmer and less religiously fanatical that I’ve always thought him to be. Yes, he was a preacher and had been deemed a prophet at an early age, but he seemed more…normal? I’m not sure what the right term is. My predilection towards Nat was always one of a man motivated by God and principle, purely. He wasn’t a man of many luxuries or emotions. Also, the entirety of the movie takes place with Nat Turner being the property of Samuel Turner, whereas historically, Samuel Turner died and Nat and his family were separated and sold to separate slaveowners. For the sake of the movie, I guess those details aren’t AS important as the message, but it was noteworthy. Similarly, his capture doesn’t align with his own words. Again, assuming what was told to his lawyer was presented fairly and I guess it doesn’t change the story. Just noticeable.

7. I’m not sure where I stand on how “important” this movie is. It’s important in that exists and the more narratives we have the better and a movie about Nat Turner definitely matters to me. I’m not against further slave movies because there are millions of stories gone untold. I understand why others might not want to see anymore though. However, this movie was framed as being of significant importance, especially given our current climate, and I’m not sure the execution managed those expectations. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t Red Tails, a cinematic failure on every possible level and levels I didn’t know existed. But part of BOAN’s import was in its flashpoint harnessing of the rage of a people who had had enough and with God as their witness, reached the end of their rope. Except I don’t think you’d see this movie and feel ready to rise up. I was more emotional after watching Rosewood. I honestly think that the greatest legacy of this movie will be in its title. Clearly on purpose, from here on out, searching for Birth Of A Nation is likely to yield this movie as opposed to the 1915 racist movie of the same name. Fuckboy shenanigans aside, that is a win.

8. You know how when you go to see slave movies and people are either eerily silent (12 Years A Slave) or uproarious (Django Unchained) in parts? I felt like this movie was going to have more of the latter with people yelling at the screen and being “Black power” when the revolt happened. And I didn’t get that. Which I found interesting. This goes back to it’s impact; folks watched it and when it was over mostly kept it moving. I remember walking out of 12 Years A Slave and everybody was quiet. It was the closest to #distewmuch I’ve ever actually been in my life. I expected that here and I mostly wanted to go to Chik-Fil-A for a spicy chicken sandwich after. I didn’t need to process. I wonder how most other folks felt, but the conversations I intentionally listened to after weren’t as pensive or angry as I expected. I’m not sure what to do with that, but I noticed and am sharing.

9. I read this review in the New Yorker by Vinson Cunningham this morning after seeing a comment about the screening from Bene Viera on Facebook. This review is about as good as its going to get. Seriously. It gets to the crux of it all and touches on everything related to the movie and its release. However, the one area I disagree with, is the idea of the ravaging of Black women’s bodies being the incitement to action, as if taking a man’s pride through his woman is a bridge too far. While it can be viewed that way (and assuming I’m reading that critique properly), I didn’t see it like that all. In the two instances that are presented, while yes, their women are raped, and yes, they can’t handle it, I don’t view it as a manly pride being dashed and their ego being unable to deal; the women they love, the one’s they want to protect from the world are hurt and demeaned and its the reminder of their powerlessness. It is through the lenses of wanting to remove that access to pain from their loved ones that their spirits are ignited. It’s hard for me to see that as a negative. Perhaps I’m being myopic.

Women are often reduced to sideshows in these films and used to turn men into superheros saving their honor in a very macho way, but what I saw in this movie was a man whose family was threatened and it helped to strengthen his resolve and clarify his purpose. His revolt was ordained from God to rid the oppressed, which included the women in their lives, of their oppressors. Women are often men’s backbones, and that is present here. I just didn’t see it as such a lazy representation of women as bland accessories to Nat’s mission.

10. Some of you won’t see it. That’s fair. And expected. Some will. Also fair and expected. Nat Turner’s story is one worthy of note and worth telling. It’s terrible that the vessel with which this story is told happens to be an individual who is having the worst months ever and is doing nothing to help his own case. With that said, I’m very glad this movie exists because, “good” or not, well done stories about who we are and from whence we came are significant.

Matthew 20:16 says that “the last will be first, and the first will be last; many are called but few are chosen.” Nat Turner’s story is that verse. We’re seeing a return to that type of feel nowadays. If anything, knowing that almost 200 years ago, one man incited a community to Black Lives Matter the fuck out of white people for two days knowing that the end would come speaks to inspiration.

Shouts to Nat Turner 1800-1831.

Panama Jackson

Panama Jackson is pretty fly (and gorgeous) for a light guy. He used to ship his frito to Tito in the District, but shipping prices increased so he moved there to save money. He refuses to eat cocaine chicken. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. Most importantly, he believes the children are our future. You can hit him on his hitter at panamadjackson@gmail.com.

  • TJ

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts on the film. This isn’t the first instance I’ve seen the movie described as disappointing.

    So long as I have to pay, I’m going to pass on seeing it. 1) I just can’t with Nate Parker and Jean Celestin right now. There’s this weird dynamic that nearly 20 years after everything went down they are ride and die and continue to look out for each other. Unless Celestin always wanted to be a writer and was able to participate in this movie on his own merit. It’s almost like Parker owes Celestin. It reminds me of the CEO who hires his son as a fortieth opportunity to get his ish together, not because he’s qualified. Idk. and 2) I generally avoid slave movies for self-preservation. The trauma, for lack of a better word, from watching is too much for me.

    • Blueberry01

      Yup. Everyone better pray, mediate, and/or do a broccoli/spinach cleanse after you watch it because all of this trauma you are witnessing isn’t helpful for you!

  • Brandon Allen

    I had limited expectations of the film simply because the hype came off of everyone complaining about last years oscars and Fox came in with the PR move and swiped it up. I’m sure it’s a good film tho.

    I feel like an underrated part of this whole controversy is that there’s only that one promo shot photo of Nate Parker yelling. I’m tired of looking at it.

    • I’m tired of hearing that Audra Day song everywhere.

      • miss t-lee

        I hate that f*cking song.

        • It was cool at first… at first.

          • miss t-lee

            Not even then. I don’t like chick’s voice.
            It’s like nails on a chalkboard.

            • Val

              She sounds a little like Rihanna to me.

              • miss t-lee

                I can actually listen to Rihanna without wanting to stick a butter knife in my eardrum.

                • Val

                  Lol

              • Mary Burrell

                She actually looks like a plus size version of Rhianna.

            • Mary Burrell

              See I thought I was the only one who felt like this.

              • miss t-lee

                We’re >here<

                • Mary Burrell

                  lol

        • It is super screechy and hard to extract inspiration from. It also doesn’t feel like it has anything to do with a revolt other than including the words “rise up” over and over and over…

          • miss t-lee

            There’s no inspiration to be found there.

        • Mary Burrell

          Low key me too.

      • Nik White

        It’s the 2016 “I Believe I Can Fly”. I hope that she wrote it and can get some checks at least.

  • LegallyClueless

    I saw the movie last week, and to point #3, I agree that I expected more graphic depictions of sexual violence, especially hearing what Gabrielle Union said about her role. Overall, I thought it was a really well made film, and I think unlike 12 Years a Slave, the makers of this film didn’t want you to leave the theater despondent…

    • panamajackson

      That’s possible. Because the super tame level of all things violent really caught me by surprise. It could be they wanted us to feel…okay? Better? I don’t know.

  • cheddachasa

    #6 – Parker said in the 60 Minutes interview that the movie is based on a true story rather than a historical documentary which is why some liberties were taken.

    • panamajackson

      Which is fair. It’s a movie. Liberties are often taken. I was more curious about the liberties that were taken. But all’s fair when you control the budget I guess.

      • cheddachasa

        I wish I could sit in those meetings where they decide when and how to deviate from the original story.

    • Other_guy13

      Nate Parker say’s a lot of things…don’t mean it’s true

      • cheddachasa

        True indeed but most commercial movies that deal with history are based on a true story and changes are made. Otherwise they become documentaries.

    • RagesAgainstMachines

      I keep seeing that Nat Turner either, didn’t have a wife, or his wife was owned by someone else, but no mention of her or anyone else being raped as the catalyst for the rebellion. That’s what makes this movie doubly offensive for me. He inserted two rapes into the movie. So yeah, using black women as props, I can’t stomach it… he did the same when using his wife and daughters as a buffer against the rape case.

      • cheddachasa

        Plot device or prop? I suppose it is the same thing.

        • Brooklyn_Bruin

          So the guy under a lot of rape scrutiny, invents a rape and puts it into his film to give his main character a reason to revolt?

          I was thinking that the rape(s) were actual factuals. He could have covered them or not.

          But to invent something out of wholecloth…..

        • RagesAgainstMachines

          It’s a gross prop when the writer(s) has rape allegations in their past.

  • NonyaB

    Yours joins a growing handful of reviews saying the movie was meh. So, while the story is important, this movie clearly ain’t even the best telling of it. I’m going with your last paragraph “many are called but few are chosen” – many vessels exist for telling Nat Turner’s story (including future ones) and Nate R*pesome Parker’s edition won’t be chosen at chez Nonya. No country for r*pey fxckboys making mediocre art.

  • Phil GoBeGreat

    Sigh. I was really hoping that this review would increase my desire to see the film, Thanks Panama, now my excitement to see it is at a 3/10, it was a middling 5/10 just ten mins ago.
    I wish Nate Parker locked himself in a room and never did that 60 mins interview, we were all slowly letting it go.
    I wish more films existed like this so I didnt feel so compelled to support it knowing it will be the barometer for future films of its kind to be greenlit or killed.

    • LadyJay?

      Who is ‘we’ that were letting go? Of RAPE?

      • Phil GoBeGreat

        Prior to the 60 Minutes interview he gave an interview to Ebony where he seemed to be getting “it” like understanding the full picture. Innocence or guilt aside, he was understanding his actions and their implications… at least it seemed like that… and I think people (myself included) were softening positions on him.
        Then he goes and says the BS in the 60 minutes interview and blows it all to shreds.

        • LadyJay?

          Please.

          • Phil GoBeGreat

            I guess you’re of the camp that has 100% confidence that his actions were quintessential rape and no grey area. I am not there.
            I think however it went down (if it was short of actual rape) he was wrong, it was wrong, he played a major part in the wrong, and he seemed to be understanding that in the ebony interview…. I guess someone gave him the right things to say that day and forgot to give him the right things to say in the 60 mins interview.

        • Jennifer

          I agree with Phil. I wam still on the “No thanks. Maybe I’ll watch it for free” train, but a lot of the uproar had subsided. Previews of the movie have been on national TV for a couple weeks now with little or commentary from the media or Twitterverse. Then, Nate opens his mouth…and BOOM!

  • stephen clarke

    on Point #2 , history is uncomfortable when it comes to the socalled good slave master. Been reading alot of the Haitian revolution and caribbean slavery and the role of colored/mulatto/biracial slave masters . How they were often described as both being good and allegedly kind slave owners and then some being as cruel as any white slave master,

    Slavery lasted 400+ yrs in the America, Caribbean and south america the complexity of it is still hard for us to truly fathom or put context to our modern values.

    Otherwise great and balance review.

    • Nah. They were trash.

    • Tambra

      In Caribbean slavery? Coloured and Mullattoes? I think you are reading the wrong books.The majority took the opportunity to display their power and extremely cruel.

      • stephen clarke

        really reading the wrong books??? Im reading black jacobins by C.L.R. James ,Documents of West Indian History by Eric william both most renowned experts on Caribbean slavery . Your right many were as cruel as the white enslaver, but some educated and granted freedom to many of their enslaved workers. Like i said complex and difficult to fit in neat boxes . No better example of the that complexity exists than the Haitian revolution

        • Tambra

          CLR James – the Black Jacobins, Eric Williams capitalism and slavery written 1930s and 40s. I am aware of both of these gentlemen. And you know that in Haiti the coloureds were some of the most vehement opposers of any rights to the black enfranchisement and were not in favour of the revolution. Hmm try reading some Beckles and Shepherd- They have a couple good anthologies. Hilary Beckles have written extensively so you can do some reading from him. Try Barry Higman too. Coloureds were some of the most vehement opposers of any sort of concessions to black people in the Caribbean even into the 20 century.

          • stephen clarke

            not arguing on none of these points, every thing i read has stated the same thing. its the reason why i think if a movie on the Haitian revolution was made it would not be the story most people envisioned. all ready have most of beckles books since im from barabdos and a friend of the fam . His book natural rebels is a must read for any one wanting to know about caribbean women and slavery

            still doesn’t change the point that i was making on the socalled “kind” slave owner and the complexity of these labels.

            • Tambra

              Too often the coloureds have been given a free pass just as white women that they were genteel when both groups were far from. Your original point came across as if they were being given a bad name. Few slave masters could be given a good name, primarily because of the high levels of absentee estate owners, and we know a large number of coloureds fill that gap. Even where there were a fairly large resident white plantocracy their treatment of the enslaved population was hardly better, that was why the thought of staving off full emancipation failed with the abolition of the slave trade failed and the apprenticeship experiment failed also. Re: Haiti while haiti had a faily large resident planter class who were owners, a fair number were coloured because of their slave codes, hence the myth of slavery being more genteel in Spanish and French speaking islands. However we know that Haiti had horrible mortality rates, and it was another reason that spurred the revolution. A film on the Haitian revolution can not be made without attention to the treacheries and scheming of the British , French and

  • Julian Green

    I just cannot bring myself to care about seeing another slave movie, especially one where I know the whole story already.
    Hit me up when they make a movie about Robert Smalls.

    • Val

      I haven’t seen any of the recent “slave” films. I haven’t seen 12 Years nor Django. Heck, I haven’t even seen The Butler or Fruitvale Station. I’m just not up for seeing us beaten and batterred and murdered. Too much of that going on in real life.

      But, when I first heard about this film I wanted to see it because it’s about a revolt. Where enslaved Black folks were killing their enslavers. What could be more viscerally satisfying then that? But, alas, Parker is an alleged r@pist and the film is sanitized.

      Btw, Robert Smalls stole a ship in Charleston harbor, right?

      • cyanic

        Django is a revenge flick. It upset me when I saw it. And I hate revisiting it.

        • Val

          I don’t do Tarantino films. He’s a racist, IMO.

          • cyanic

            Did you ever watch Jackie Brown or you declared him a racist prior to the release of it?

            • Val

              Never really saw Jackie Brown. Just clips I think. Yep, prior to Jackie Brown.

              • cyanic

                See Jackie Brown for me. Will you be offended by racial language yes. Especially in the early Chris Tucker section of the movie. If you can survive his section you’ll likely fall in love with Jackie’s journey.

                • Val

                  Mmm, I can’t promise that. At this point his gratuitous use of the N word and his stereotypical Black characters are of no interest to me.

                  • cyanic

                    It’s a very adult movie about older characters. And Sam does the Sam thing. So if you’re sick of him just avoid it.

                • brothaskeeper

                  Agreed. Jackie caught a few bad breaks, but she is whip-smart. A true heroine.

              • Mary Burrell

                I love Jackie Brown

          • LadyJay?

            I was just about to say that. There is something VERY insincere about him, like VERY.

            • cyanic

              There’s a lot unwell about him as a person.

              • LadyJay?

                He is very creepy. Very Hollyweired.

              • Nik White

                Not surprised since he was married to Madonna.

                • cyanic

                  In reference to Tarantino not Guy Ritchie.

                  • Nik White

                    Tarantino is strange.

                    • cyanic

                      You made reference to being married to Madonna. Only Sean Penn and Guy Ritchie know about that life.

          • Other_guy13

            Not even Pulp Fiction or the Kill Bills????

            • Val

              I saw Pulp Fiction but that was before I knew anything about him.

              • Other_guy13

                So…you a Guy Richie fan then?? They kinda the same to me

                • Val

                  I’ve only seen that Locks, Stocks and Barrels, film. That was by him, right? I’m not sure if I’ve seen anything else by him. Why is he a racist too?

                • Cleojonz

                  I don’t find them at ALL similar. Guy Ritchie films are much smarter. British humor is drier, much more biting. All of Tarantino’s violence or nudity seems gratuitous and unnecessary. Ritchie’s seems strategic.

            • kingpinenut

              Pulp Fiction is my joint

          • PDL – Cape Girl Shero

            He love to toss around n1gga. He’s getting a kick out of that for sure

            • Val

              He really does get a kick out of it.

              • PDL – Cape Girl Shero

                What was it, Crazy Eight? After hearing n1gga 2,847,938,094,203 times 10 minutes after showing Sam Jackson I turned it off.

      • Julian Green

        I saw Django, but to that’s because to me that film plays as more of a western than a “slave movie”.
        Honestly, I’m just kinda bored with historical dramas starring Black Americans because they all seem to be set in the same 3 places/time periods (antebellum South, 1930’s/40’s Harlem, Civil Rights Era South).

        • Negro Libre

          I actually enjoyed Django unchained because it wasn’t trying to be historically accurate. I don’t think Tarantino was trying to be historically accurate either with Inglorious Basterds. If it’s just gonna be another black movie of 19th century black matyrs, I’d be satisfied just with a wikipedia reference.

          Personally, I prefer movies for aspirational characters, if I want representational characters or historical stories, I prefer to watch documentaries.

        • PDL – Cape Girl Shero

          Leo was real comfy saying n1gga

          • Epsilonicus

            He actually was not. Sam Jackson said he had to force him to say it.

            • PDL – Cape Girl Shero

              Yeah I heard that rumor too. I’m talking about how it sounded while watching the movie.

              • Epsilonicus

                Took a lot of takes getting there.

                Thats not a rumor. Sam spoke on it.

                • PDL – Cape Girl Shero

                  Did you speak with Sam?

                  • Epsilonicus

                    He did an interview and said it.

                    • PDL – Cape Girl Shero

                      Did you speak with Leo? Attend the taping? Did you see his body language? He didn’t win an Oscar for good acting for nothing, huh? Say what you will, they didn’t need to have him say n1gga as many times as he did. He was okay with it. You can’t convince otherwise. NOPE!

                    • Epsilonicus

                      1. I trust Sam Jackson. He doesn’t come off as caping for the sake of caping.

                      2. Leo did his job. He made you forget he is Leo playing a slave master.

          • Julian Green

            Tarantino makes the kind of ridiculous, exploitative nonsense I enjoy the most.

            • PDL – Cape Girl Shero

              Alright now!!

            • La_Dee_Da

              Samuel Jackson in The Hateful 8…
              Smart black man outwitted all those white folks…

          • Mary Burrell

            All Tarantino movies have the n-word.

            • PDL – Cape Girl Shero

              His trademark

        • Mary Burrell

          Django was funny

      • Val

        @Malik are you lurking? Robert Smalls is related to Joan Smalls.

      • Smalls took a Confederate warship named the Planter through the Union blockade. Ran for congress later on.

        • Nik White

          Thanks

      • Annalise Keating

        Have you seen the TV show “Underground?” If you haven’t I recommend it based your comment.

        • Val

          I keep hearing about it. I will, thanks.

        • Mary Burrell

          I keep hearing how good it is.

          • Annalise Keating

            It is a very good show.

      • Mary Burrell

        Exactly I knew it would be a sanitized Nat Turner that’s why I had no interest when I first heard about it. Then I learned how awful Parker was and that sealed the deal I knew i wasn’t going and don’t care to see it.

    • I’m slaved out too, bruh.

      I knew a white guy who wrote a script about Smalls. Don’t know what became of it.

      • Julian Green

        From what I understand, scripts get passed around and can float around for decades before anybody uses them.
        If I had any talent as a scriptwriter, I’d do a treatment of Eugene Jacques Bullard (#1 on my top 5 list of men I aspire to be like).

    • Nik White

      *.

  • I’m not sure I can watch this movie. Not because of Parker, though. I haven’t been able to sit through Public Enemy’s ‘Can’t Truss It’ video in a decade and I think this movie is going to make me flashback.

    • Other_guy13

      I took a few days off and will head to the mountains…so I may watch it and unplug to get my thoughts together.

      • Val

        Mountains? Cool. You rent a cabin?

        • LadyJay?

          Yesterday I was watching this chick whose apartment is literally turned out to a jungle, because she loves nature and also happens to be an environmentalist. Thought about you!!

          • Val

            Lol Why did that make you think about me, AM?

            • LadyJay?

              Because you like remote living. She steady doing that in the city. It’s a pretty cool apartment. Very clean. That was what my concern. Cleanliness.

              • Val

                Lol Yeah, I dream of being off the grid, kinda, but not about living in the jungle. But thanks for thinking of me. :-)

                • LadyJay?

                  Lmaoooo!!!! As far as I’m concerned jungle and off the grid all the same. Very isolated!!

          • Negro Libre

            Oyinbo people love nature so much.

            Let them come have to fetch water in a village for a year and have to stone snakes, and catch malaria for 6 months and see if they still come out with admiration for Mother nature.

            • Val

              Oyinbo people?

            • NonyaB

              Abi?! I say camping is for people who never experienced youth back home or hardy boarding schools.

            • #facts I’m down with avoiding nature. I’m #TeamGMO, f*ck all them bugs.

            • Also, that reminds me of school. The Environmental Science major was as White as a Jim Crow era SEC school, but they stayed hating on Biotech as destroying the planet. Meanwhile, for a STEM major at a PWI, it was a diverse crowd. I’ve always thought that there’s a strong racism strain in the Green movement.

              • Negro Libre

                The apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree, as far as the Green movement is concerned ijs.

                • But they’re LIBERALS! And liberals can’t possibly be racist at all! How dare you say such a thing! Just he grateful that the White man has come to impose his culture on your benighted village, as his perspective is always more valuable. ;-)

        • Other_guy13

          Yea…Gatlinburg Tennessee for the B-day turn up…pray for me…I don’t like driving up mountains.

          • Amber

            Depending on where you’re coming from that drive isn’t bad.

            • Other_guy13

              Never been…I hope not..and define bad….we went up some mountains a few months ago in GA and I almost lost my ish.

          • Val

            I remember driving to Memphis, I think, with the grandparents when I was a kid. Those roads were crazy. So, yeah, be careful. But have fun.

          • brothaskeeper

            I LOVE Gatlinburg! I mean, I’ve only been once, but still! I been tryna convince Mrs. BK to take an excursion with me, but she heard “camping”, “outdoors”, and “Tennessee”, and that’s all she needed to say the nay-no.

            • Val

              You were planning on camping out of doors, BK?

              • brothaskeeper

                I camp regularly, but not since last year. I’m also one of those weird Black people who hangs out at REI.

                • Val

                  REI is cool but camping out of doors. Nope. I’d need a camper at least. But I’m proud of you, Broham.

                  https://media.giphy.com/media/MCy9MynzwNbRC/giphy.gif

                  • Other_guy13

                    A camper…that’s not camping

                    • Val

                      If you aren’t in your house you’re camping. :-)

                    • Other_guy13

                      Hotels = Camping…who knew

                  • brothaskeeper

                    Glossy-us!

                  • L8Comer

                    ???@ out of doors

                • miss t-lee

                  Camping?

                  Nah playboy.

            • miss t-lee

              She’s like me. Dirt, bugs, and sleeping outside?
              That’s a no from me, dawg.

            • NonyaB

              I’m with her. I can do Glamping but camping remains a dirty word.

              • brothaskeeper

                Try it one time. You won’t stop talking about it!

                • NonyaB

                  Nope. Camping’s for those who didn’t enough hardy exposure to the outdoors while growing up. If you tried glamping though, you’ll probably never go back.

                  • brothaskeeper

                    Au contraire, mon frere. I got outdoors a lot in my yoof, and I know plenty of people who had a hearty exposure to the outside who wouldn’t dare tread upon a dusty path for any length of time, Mrs. BK for example. She’s former military, but she will lay a towel down in a minute over a picnic table seat (I love her bouzhee ace).

                    • NonyaB

                      You mean “ma sœur”. I too, got more than enough outdoor exposure growing up. But yes, picnics are good and often part of the glamping experience! I enjoy a good walk but miss me with no proper showers or toilets, communing with night insects thang.

                    • L8Comer

                      Maybe she had to sleep outside in the military. Why you brining up old shyt. Always forward.

                    • brothaskeeper

                      Okay, Pops. LoL

                    • L8Comer

                      ?? I love nature, but seriously don’t understand the urge to revisit a time in history where humans all had to sleep outside and be without plumbing or electricity

                    • brothaskeeper

                      It’s liberating, to be detached from everything for a little while. You’re not totally without amenities, though. I mean, yeah there’s no running water, and food is freeze-dried, and you have to start your own fire, and you have to catch and clean your own fish, but it’s all about disconnecting and decompressing. You can still have toilet paper, a cell phone, a radio, things like that, but I’m not in the hardcore realm, on a month-long excursion elk-hunting and such.

                    • L8Comer

                      You still didn’t answer my question; where do you bathe?

                      I don’t mind disconnecting. I love being in nature and I could care less about my cell most of the time. Catching and cleaning and eating my own fish, creating a fire…all that appeals to me. It’s the bathing and toilet part that bothers me. Doing all that outside with bugs… sounds stressful to me. What if I have to pee in the middle of the night? Then I have to worry about being bit and cold and accosted by raccoons..

                      I’d even be cool sleeping outside in a hammock on the beach as long as I can go inside to pee.

                    • brothaskeeper

                      Soooooooo, for women, the hygiene process is a little more involved. You govern yourself accordingly as a woman does, but with wet wipes, bottled water, and a small bar of non-perfume soap, and if you’re in the woods, you need a plastic bag for all your bio waste (not including your scat) so you don’t attract varmints. For your bathroom, I’m afraid all you can do is squat.

                    • L8Comer

                      so you don’t bathe? Bird baths? That’s not chexy

                    • brothaskeeper

                      Ain’t post ta be.?

                    • Epsilonicus

                      You bathe in rivers, lakes, oceans. Like we did for over 130k years of human existence lol

                    • L8Comer

                      I prefer not to go back to those times. Maybeeee…. I could get with some fresh, moving water tho if it’s really hot

                    • Epsilonicus

                      Its not as bad as you think. You get clean. You dont smell.

                    • Epsilonicus

                      I did 4 weeks in the Teton Mountains when in middle school. Best time ever

                • L8Comer

                  Outside? How fancy is your tent? I’d go camping at the beach…

                  • brothaskeeper

                    I have a two-person tent, but it’s about 9 years old. I want a tent with a built-in sleeping pad. Camping on the beach is beautiful, whether you’re alone or not.

                    • L8Comer

                      The beach is the only place I’d do it.

                      Can you elevate a tent? Like pitch it on some cinderblocks? And put some plywood underneath the tent so it’s level? And have led lights? That would be better. Where do u bathe tho? In a river?

                    • brothaskeeper

                      For the beach, the shore tends to be sloped, so you have to dig out some area so your tent can be level, and you can use just a bucket since the sand is loose, but because of that, the pegs have to be long and deep (giggity!). You can’t use cinder blocks, because the pegs won’t push into them, and you ain’t finna haul all that weight from the car. You can’t put a plank underneath the tent, it’ll kill your back and knees, also splinters. The ground itself will be soft enough, but you’ll still need a mat. Do citronella glows ticks rather than candles so the sea breeze doesn’t blow stray embers into your tent and set’cho ace on fiyah. Also because bright lights attract bugs and such.

                    • L8Comer

                      wow, interesting tips. You’re really about that camping life.

                    • Epsilonicus

                      See I have never done camping on the beach. All my camping has been in the woods. I have even slept in canoes (missed my camping site). I have also been followed by a bear

                    • brothaskeeper

                      Oh sh!t! Did you have spray?

                    • Epsilonicus

                      Yup and a whistle. It eventually went away. Almost caught me peeing.

                    • brothaskeeper

                      I honestly wouldn’t know what I’d do if a bear pulled up, because bears gonna bear.

            • LoveTrenia

              There are some amaaaazing, tricked out cabins in Gatlinburg, with hot tubs, movie theaters and awesome views of the Smoky Mountains. And there’s great shopping.

              • brothaskeeper

                Imagine being out in the wild with Bae, though. Becoming one with nature.

            • Brooklyn_Bruin

              That town is hillbilly central. Don’t ask me how I know.

              • brothaskeeper

                Ima ask anyway. Because I’m a contrarian.

      • Might be a good idea to avoid Dwights for a while.

        • Other_guy13

          Impossible…i’m working on being more accepting of my brothers and sisters…education is my new goal…if that don’t work…then avoid…time to save some souls…Shannon Sharpe inspired me…THANKS OBAMA!!!!!

  • QueenAT

    “Parker clearly cares a great deal about this movie and how it was presented. Damn shame he didn’t feel that way about his own presentation. Sometimes I feel like Chris Brown is his PR manager.”

    All. Of. This.

    He can’t shut his mouth long enough for people to talk about the movie, instead of him or the elusive Jean.

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