Lists, Pop Culture, Theory & Essay

10 things i learned while in NYC for “the modern day matchmaker live”

definitely didn’t meet on the train

1. i’m not a relationship “expert”

to be honest, i didn’t just learn this in new york city. although i’ve co-founded a relationship-centric website and have benefited personally and financially from this particular “expertise”, i’ve never considered myself to be a dating and relationship source.

sure, i’m aware that (some) people do appreciate my advice and insights, but i’m also aware that this appreciation stems more from my ability to write dispassionately, objectively, and wittily about a subject most can’t be dispassionate, objective, and witty about than any deep reservoir of relationship knowledge.

actually, this dispassionateness is exactly why i’m not an expert. as pleased as i am to be able to help cultivate positive relationship discussion, i’m much more interested in the reaction to my writing than the reaction to what i actually say.

i’m bringing this up because this lack of passion is made even more apparent when sitting on a panel next to people like demetria lucas and kenya stevens, women possessing infectiously palpable energy when sharing their thoughts about relationships. when they spoke, their heartfelt anecdotes and advice and made it seem like they believed they were spreading the gospel truth. when i spoke, it felt like i was speaking on a subject i researched and observed instead of something i’ve lived and felt (which is kind of, but not really true, but more on that later)

2. sister toldja is…a sweetheart

although i was very aware that the uber-angry, man-shanking view some have of her wasn’t true, i assumed she’d be somewhat laconic, sarcastic, droll, and occasionally acerbically funny. basically, i was expecting to meet a womanist daria morgendorffer. sh*t, i even read her blog entries in a voice that can be best described as “what janeane garofalo would sound like if she grew up in brownsville”.

to my surprise, sister t is actually much more, for lack of a better term, southern than i imagined her to be. bubbly, gregarious, and affable, she’s much more belle than bea arthur, and it was bit unexpected to find out that everyone’s favorite feminist is one of the girliest girls i’ve ever met.

3. apparently, new york city is the world’s biggest nightclub

between the 8 dollar toll just to get into harlem (a fact which made my friend remark “i hate this f*cking city” at least 246 times in a 24 hour span), the drunk-acting drivers, the practice of just throwing trash on the corner, the randomly out of place and lascivious white women, and the seemingly perpetual background music (in the 22 hours i was there, i can’t remember not hearing any music for longer than a 30 second span. it felt like i was on the world’s drippiest episode of  sesame street), new york city is exactly like every wamo night in pittsburgh. who knew?

4. saying “hey, dumbasses, don’t listen to me or anyone else on the panel” probably isn’t the best thing to do in a roomful of people who paid 25 dollars to hear you and everyone else on the panel speak.

i won’t go into too much detail, but lets just say that my (paraphrasing) “hey, the problem with us (black people) is that we spend too much time listening to relationship experts” comment went over about as well as a fart on a submarine.

5. new york city is obviously filled with a bunch of dumb ass dudes

i know this seems harsh, but how else can you explain that roughly 15 guys showed up to an event filled with roughly 300 tipsy women practically ovulating by ovary osmosis? seriously, that show was like a sam’s club for single black men. there hasn’t been that many single and sexy black women in one place since wilt chamberlain’s wake

to be fair, i understand why a guy might have been hesitant to attend. while a favorable female/male ratio is a good thing, 15 women to every man shifts the speed from “favorable” to “f*cking ludicrous” and completely changes the approaching/bagging dynamic. also, the brunson factor would have made things more difficult than usual.

to expound, as a straight man, i feel absolutely no shame in saying that paul brunson–the modern day matchmaker–is, well, mr. perfect. why does this matter? well, any guy trying to holler at a woman at one of his events will have to deal with the “wait. i wanted a pocket sized paul to take home, not your mundane ‘i could have saved money and just met your ass on the train’ ass” factor.

when you add this to the fact that i haven’t even mentioned that approximately 10 of the ninjanets most popular black male personalities (brunson, anslem from nakedwithsockson, jozen from untiligetmarried, slim jackson, streetztalk, and seattle washington from singleblackmale and threewaystotakeit to name a few) were in attendance, and each had a sizable fan base present, maybe the black men of new york city aren’t so stupid after all.

6. everything sounds smarter with a british accent

i’m not saying that lola adesioye’s accent tempted me to transcribe every word she said the entire night into my gphone, but lola adesioye’s accent tempted me to transcribe every word she said the entire night into my gphone.

7. liz is liz

***debating whether to say anything about liz not attending the show because she didnt want to wait in line…despite the fact that i left her a complimentary ticket and all she had to do was go to the box office and say her name. yeah, i probably shouldn’t say anything about that. i’m sure she’ll attend the next time her friend and business partner drives seven hours through the appalachian mountains to nyc to appear on a panel***

8. there’s a quote from the wire for every situation

i drove up to new york with my closest friend. he coaches basketball in europe and just happened to be in pittsburgh last week, and i convinced him to make the trip with me (i also had to convince my cousin to let us stay with her, no small feat since my man is 6’8′, and most people aren’t too keen on having anonymous giant n*ggas sleep on their couches).

if you’re a vsb regular you probably know how much of a wire diehard i am, but my man (who actually introduced me to the show) surpasses and sh*ts on my wire fandom. seriously, if you asked him to rank the three most influential men in his life, his answer would probably include some combination of his dad, God, and bodie broadus.

anyway, with us two in the car together for approximately 14 hours–the round trip distance between nyc and pittsburghof a 30 hour span, every situation turned into a scene from the wire.

stuck in traffic? quote bunny colvin’s “f*ck you? no, f*ck me!!” from season three.

problems with the onstar system? quote avon’s “little man stay f*cking up” from season one

waitress mixes up your order at IHOP? do your best marlo stanfield “my name is my name!!!”

i could continue, but i get the feeling that the 17 of you still reading this want me to move on.

9. i still get surprised when meeting “regular lurkers”

after the show, i got the chance to meet approximately 15-20 fans of vsb, all people who told me they read regularly but never comment. judging from our stats, only maybe 2 to 3 percent of the people who read participate in the conversations, but i still have a tendency to assume that the only people reading are the ones who comment regularly, and it still shocks me to actually see evidence of how popular we’re becoming.

10. i’m not built for this sh*t…not yet, at least

the “written vs spoken word” dynamic came up in private conversations with sister t, anslem, and nikki “coco” nokes at various points of the night. basically, we all discussed how awkward the shift from “online persona” to “in-person” can be for us and our readers, and how difficult it can be to construct your words when speaking so that they have the same impact they usually do when they’re read.

for some this is a non-issue. panama, for instance, has a bit of a stream of consciousness writing style that allows his messages and insights to be heard the same way they’re read. on the other hand, much of what i write is specifically written just to be read; the types of language and humor i insert in my entries would lose their meaning if heard aloud.

this “problem” isn’t unique. most people who consider themselves to be writers and/or introverts tend to be somewhat underwhelming public speakers. but, in this particular instance, to promote the brand and myself, i’ll have to continue to step out of the comfort zone of my controlled keypad environment. and, occasionally, i’ll feel as unenthused about it as i was thursday night.

hopefully i’ll get better at extemporaneous “shifting” in time, but for now if i’m addressing a large group of people (panels and podcasts included), i need prompts, a script, a timeline, and at least three rum and cokes before i can get completely comfortable.

with that being said, between the pre-show, the interview with sister t, the panel, and the afterparty, i actually did have a great time. i even got to witness a live matchmaking, ate an apple and three mcdonalds double cheeseburgers, somehow managed to actually remember the names of five of the vsb lurkers i met while drunk, and had two of my favorite writers tell me that i was one of their favorites.

not quite an entire wheel of cheese, but still pretty damn impressive.

—the champ

Filed Under:
Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a contributing editor for EBONY.com. He resides in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes.

  • http://www.pinchmycheekie.blogspot.com Cheekie

    A lot of women learned how to properly throw their e-pannies at Slim Jackson via his and Sister Toldja’s vlog. O_O

    • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

      That doggone chat stream in the vlog was HILAR! Approximately 49 pannies got thrown at the screen everytime Slim showed up.

      • http://www.nicknotnikki.blogspot.com Nick_L_Odeon

        LOL!! i kept mine on, thankyouberrymuchotacobell..
        it WAS quite obscene!! and swalton was in there “what the sam hill is going on!? i’m gonna need another man to show up!!”
        poor thing..

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      lol, slim was actually the first guy i met at the preshow (him, anslem, and i were the only ones on time). he’s a cool dude. super laid back.

      • http://threewaystotakeit.com Seattle Washington

        Don’t want to jump on an unrelated thread, but if I post now I’ll be in Guam.

        Thanks for the shout out and great meeting you in real life man. Best of luck with those public appearances. I tried to make a debut myself, but UStream shut me down.

        • http://www.pinchmycheekie.blogspot.com Cheekie

          You weren’t there, Seattle…I don’t believe it. :P

  • http://lizburr.com Liz

    How did I know I was gonna be on this list?

    Srsly dawg. I didn’t wanna stand in line with 200 thirsty-lookin women. Not cool to stand with a bunch of chicks who look desperate. Sorry to chicks who were there, maybe I am not talkin about you specifically, but you get enough chicks together it only takes one to ruin the whole pack (i know this from experience, and me nor any of my friends would agree to attend such a “situation” lol). I was actually quite surprised that the male ratio was so bad. Not that I was lookin for a man or anything.

    Anyway, I’ll catch you next time Champy. Lest we forget Panama has never met you in person. I don’t want to overexpose you to too much of my side of the VSB team lol.

    • legitimate_soul

      I didn’t wanna stand in line with 200 thirsty-lookin women. Not cool to stand with a bunch of chicks who look desperate. Sorry to chicks who were there, maybe I am not talkin about you specifically, but you get enough chicks together it only takes one to ruin the whole pack (i know this from experience, and me nor any of my friends would agree to attend such a “situation” lol).

      ^I can’t knock this reasoning at all.

      • miss t-lee

        I can dig it as well. :-)

        • coldsweat3

          Had I known the spot would be so nice I would have told ALLLL my homies in NYC to roll through!

    • http://www.pinchmycheekie.blogspot.com Cheekie

      “Srsly dawg. I didn’t wanna stand in line with 200 thirsty-lookin women. Not cool to stand with a bunch of chicks who look desperate.”

      Said yet valid. But if we get a bunch of VSSs from here and get together, maybe it won’t be so desperate? It would be more fun to be had than desperation. VSSs don’t seem like desperate chicks, right? Right?! lol

      • http://lizburr.com Liz

        Nuthin wrong with being desperate! I just don’t wanna be confused as such if I can help it lol. I’m always happy to hang with VSBs and VSSs though ;)

    • Officer Ricky

      Anyway, I’ll catch you next time Champy. Lest we forget Panama has never met you in person

      Word? Like really… WORD? I’ve been out here 2+ years and never could’ve imagined. then again, ain’t no gaddamn thang to see in the Burgh, make yo way to D.C son.

      • http://lizburr.com Liz

        Yeah they’ve never met. They probably never even talked on the phone during the first year of VSB. Everything was done over IM and email. Cuz we’re all old school like that.

        • MsEsquire77

          @ Liz

          Did you notice that you’re in one of the tags for this post?
          “missing opportunities to hug liz and liz’s boobs”…priceless!

    • OftenConfused

      WHAT?!?! Shut the Front door!!!

      I don’t know why this is wrong or why I’m surprised, but it is and I am. Champ and Panama seem like old friends.

      • http://www.shesoflyy.blogspot.com Muze

        right. i really can’t believe they’ve never met. wasn’t the first friggin matchmaker thing in DC? doesn’t panama LIVE in/near DC? how does this happen? lol

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

          @Muze, i do live in DC. the weekend that he was here for that event….i had a family event out of town. LOL.

          • keisha brown

            *jaw drops.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “Srsly dawg. I didn’t wanna stand in line with 200 thirsty-lookin women”

      lol, you make it sound like it was an audition for “for the love of ray j”. but seriously, thats why n*ggas invented comp tickets, so their friends dont have to stand in line and sh*t

      • http://lizburr.com Liz

        I KNOW. comp tix should mean u skip the line, but no dice. and i didn’t feel like arguing to get into a place packed with women ready to audition for the love of ray j lolol. it was futile.

    • D.R

      I was actually AT the event and I felt the exact way you are describing. I contemplated hard and long before going, but honestly it was decent. Now if you went looking for a man, then that was not the place, but I think alot of ppl went to just meet their fav bloggers.

  • meka

    Sounds like a great event! I hope to make the Chicago Modern Day Matchmaker event. Although I have a feeling the male-female ratio in Chicago will be worse than NYC. A lot worse.

    • http://blockedwriter84@yahoo.com Cheekie

      Though I’m excited about going, I have a feelin’ too…*grumble*

      Lemme keep positive, though. lol *therewillbehellamenthere*

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        @Cheekie, Though I’m excited about going, I have a feelin’ too…*grumble*

        this sounds like a Lil Wayne line

        • http://www.pinchmycheekie.blogspot.com Cheekie

          “this sounds like a Lil Wayne line”

          I would say I wish I knew how to quit you Panama, but I found out…

    • http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com Luvvie

      Naw son! The chicago event will have wayyy more men. Why? B/c some of these negros are PARCHED (beyond thirsty). Watch. I shall be there so I will count lol

      • http://www.pinchmycheekie.blogspot.com Cheekie

        lol, good point, luvvie. Hopefully they thirsty enough to hop on the CTA…

        Or no…not the niccas on the CTA, actually… better yet, catch a cab. #bougie

        • coldsweat3

          not to sound parched(i dont even stay in chicago) but when is this event?

          • http://www.pinchmycheekie.blogspot.com Cheekie

            @coldsweat3,

            No EXACT dates yet, but I saw the upcoming cities on Three Ways to Take It:

            Philadelphia (June)
            Chicago (July)
            Atlanta (August)
            Boston (September)
            Los Angeles (October)
            London (November)

            The Chi one is in my birfday month! *does the running-man*

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “Although I have a feeling the male-female ratio in Chicago will be worse than NYC. A lot worse.”

      unless you have 500 women and one eunuch in attendance, this is impossible.

      • http://www.pinchmycheekie.blogspot.com Cheekie

        “unless you have 500 women and one eunuch in attendance, this is impossible.”

        *DEAD*

        What I say yesterday?! Stop typing!

    • 05girl

      umm, try ATL, home of the “successful, single” black woman.

      • coldsweat3

        I miss Atlanta so much….Cincinnati women just aren’t the same caliber. Slim pickins.

        • 05girl

          Aw I know Cincy very well (my fam’s hometown)… know enough to know I would never, eva live there lol. Just come on down 75 to get your fix!

          • coldsweat3

            hahha oh trust after law school I will be OUT!!!! I try to hit up ATL as much as possible cuz I went to school down there and alot of my friends stayed after undergrad.

        • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

          “I miss Atlanta so much….Cincinnati women just aren’t the same caliber. Slim pickins.”

          i have found memories of my first weekend in cincinnati

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        @05girl, i’m real curious as to how that event will go considering the majority of single, successful women that aren’t in NY or DC are in ATL.

        • 05girl

          Yeah. I swear Paul released a schedule with all the city dates, that of course now I can’t find. Wish I knew the date, I think it was slated for Aug/Sept.
          Given the feedback another commenter wrote below, the forum/panel really needs improvement, or else the ATL show would easily slide into foolywang status.
          NYC had the advantage of many bloggers being at the panel (maybe I’m biased, but many where bloggers that I read). Not sure who they would select from ATL.. necole bitchie?

  • meka

    @Liz–I didn’t wanna stand in line with 200 thirsty-lookin women. Not cool to stand with a bunch of chicks who look desperate.

    So maybe I’m not going to the Chicago event. Damn Liz.

    • http://lizburr.com Liz

      LOL. Well, I heard in the past the gender ratio was carefully looked after during ticket sales period but when I arrived and saw so many women i was confused. Others reported it being roughly 99% women too, so it wasn’t just me.

      • 05girl

        Why does it matter what folks think of you? Especially since there were few men there to judge you as “thirsty”? and especially since you would have been there to support a friend?

        • http://lizburr.com Liz

          It doesn’t it’s more of how I feel in those situations, obviously.

          And “friend” is a term I use loosely with the champ LOL. There were enough people there for him to be supported.

          • http://natashasjourney-natasha.blogspot.com Natasha

            “And “friend” is a term I use loosely with the champ LOL.
            There were enough people there for him to be supported.”

            WOW! In 2010 Liz is telling us how she really feels LOL.

    • http://www.pinchmycheekie.blogspot.com Cheekie

      “So maybe I’m not going to the Chicago event.”

      YES. YOU. ARE.

      We gonna have to have a VSB fam meetup at this event. It was typed.

      • bougiefruit

        When is this lovely event? I need to know when to run and grab a trenchcoat, fedora, big sunglasses, and a giant notepad.

        • http://www.pinchmycheekie.blogspot.com Cheekie

          (Only info known so far)

          Philadelphia (June)
          Chicago (July)
          Atlanta (August)
          Boston (September)
          Los Angeles (October)
          London (November)

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        @Cheekie, that’s right let ‘em know. i’m gonna be teleconferenced in with 5 shots of tequila in front of me and an all green pimp hat (no sacrilege).

        • http://www.pinchmycheekie.blogspot.com Cheekie

          That’s how 3’s roll in the Chi, homie.

  • http://abelleinbrooklyn.com belle

    First off, thanks for the love. my medium is discussing dating/relationships, but it’s just a thinly veiled guise to get women empowered. you start taking control of your romantic life, it spreads over into everything else. that’s where the passion stems from. tap in and find out what you’re doing this for. i’m a writer, so i know you don’t do this every day all day (or take 30 hr roundtrips) just for the self aggrandizement. that wears off after awhile. be still and think about it.

    there is a wire quote for every situation. i don’t remember the question from the panel, but i was choking back quoting McNulty’s “when you play in dirt, you get dirty” and Stringer’s “that’s like a 40 degree day.” My top 3 dead or alive are probably God, my father, and a tie between Lester Freeman and Bunk.

    *dead* at your observation about the city having a soundtrack. funny, as I was typing this, i heard the bassline to a song outside my window and realized it was The Dream’s “she needs my love” before i heard the music or lyrics.

    God, I love this city.

    • http://www.nicknotnikki.blogspot.com Nick_L_Odeon

      i lurk on your site.. and i think you are exactly that.. a belle.. unless someone asks you something wack on formspring!!

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “My top 3 dead or alive are probably God, my father, and a tie between Lester Freeman and Bunk.”

      i’d have to bump bunk and keep lester in there, even though he’s just holding the spot until michael gets old enough to run for mayor.

      seriously though, thanks for the advice. doing “this” gets easier when you have a clear goal in mind, and should stop bs-ing in regards to mine.

  • http://www.nicknotnikki.blogspot.com Nick_L_Odeon

    i’m tryin to get to the atlanta one.. although just by demographic alone, i get the feeling the hungry women up there are gonna make me wanna sit in a corner and chew my hair..
    glad you had a great time.. but 7 hours!?!? that’s commitment..
    and i run into the same problem when i think about my written words being translated into everyday conversation with random people.. there’s cadences specific to each that might be difficult to cross over.. maybe i’m overthinking it..
    and why, on God’s green planet would someone read the greatness on VSB and not comment!?
    #thingsthatdon’tmakesense..
    and cheekie knows what i wanna talk about.. but can’t, cuz i’ll expose myself..
    MUAH!!! maybe it’s best i didn’t get to the new york event.. cuz i woulda been chewing my hair there too.. tomboys don’t stand a chance!

    • ComicBookGuy

      I am going to bed but I wanted to respond to your festivus gift. It is from Seinfield, a holiday that George’s family celebrates. What do you know about the feats of strength? lol, Oh yeah, the only reason why I suck at playing PS3 online is because I don’t have much time as I used to to practice, but I am getting there. Oh yeah, God of War is getting good.

      • SaneN85

        So, I guess it’s not just me she’s getting on about the God of War.

        I comment once in a while, but for the most part I lurk. The reason for that is just that I’m already 3 hrs behind most of you and I’d have to read the 200-350 comments that are up by the time I get to work before I’m even able to comment. Sometimes I’m able to get here at night, but even then I am reading from my phone and I hate commenting from that thing.

        • ComicBookGuy

          @SaneN85,

          I guess not. I am glad she finally got to buckle down and get it. I love how those games are so epic in scale. It is really cool to know there are pretty black women out there that play video games, especially something as serious as God of War.

      • http://www.nicknotnikki.blogspot.com Nick_L_Odeon

        HEY OHH!!
        100 points.. i’m so proud of you i could weep.. (on the inside, of course.. cuz i’m a thug)
        i know about the feats of strength.. and my dear man, i see your feats of strength and raise you the festivus tree.. (aka, the aluminum pole..)
        “it’s a festivus MIRACLE!!”
        i can understand about not having the time to practice.. you’re a busy dude so i won’t ride you too hard about that.. but STILL!!!
        i mean, if you’re not gonna appreciate it, then pass that black, magic box (pause) over thisa way..
        lol.. have a great day at work..

        • ComicBookGuy

          You are too funny. That entire Festivus episode is one of my favorites.

          Frank Costanza: “Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way.”
          Kramer: “What happened to the doll?”
          Frank Costanza: “It was destroyed. But out of that a new holiday was born: a Festivus for the rest of us!”

          Sorry, my dear, but I won’t be passing that black magic box anytime soon. If I am not playing video games, I am watching something action packed on Blu-Ray.

          Funny thing is that you put a “pause” for this: “if you’re not gonna appreciate it, then pass that black, magic box (pause) over thisa way”,
          But not a pause for this: “you’re a busy dude so i won’t ride you too hard about that..”.

          LMAO. I’ll let you slide. It was late when you wrote that.

          • bougiefruit

            Please do not forget about the Airing of Grievances…”I got a lot of problems with you people”

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        “I am going to bed but I wanted to respond to your festivus gift. It is from Seinfield, a holiday that George’s family celebrates. What do you know about the feats of strength?”

        you forgot about the festivus pole, which, considering the disposition of some of the vss’s, could be used for, ummm, other things

        • ComicBookGuy

          Can’t forget the festivus pole.

          Kramer: “And is there a tree?”
          Frank Costanza: “No, instead, there’s a pole. It requires no decoration. I find tinsel distracting.”
          Frank Costanza: “It’s made from aluminum. Very high strength-to-weight ratio.”

          • http://www.nicknotnikki.blogspot.com Nick_L_Odeon

            i absolutely adore when Kramer is carrying the pole.. FANTASTIC!! and everyone is just looking at him like “WTF!?”
            since i’m having a glitch this morning.. is that the same episode where Jerry’s girlfriend looks good in only a certain kind of light??

            funny thing.. it was late when i wrote that.. but i didn’t go to bed til about 2 hours after that (i keep very late hours)
            and yeah the “i’m not gonna ride you too much about that” was pause-worthy.. but that’s not the first time i said that.. and i can’t be pausin everytime!
            maybe, just maybe i’m an expert rider.. so there’s no pause necessary.. (HEY OHH!)
            and you just HAD to put the blu-ray out there!? you know, once my money is right i’m gonna upgrade like you’ve NEVER SEEN!!!
            “so let it be written.. so let it be done..”
            i can’t stand you…
            yes i can…
            but no, not really…

          • ComicBookGuy

            @Nick_L_Odeon,

            When you get your money right, please do upgrade. Blu-Ray is the bomb. Watching “I Am Legend” on Blu-Ray at night, in the dark, with surround sound up is a good way to spend a Friday night. You hear everything. (Yeah, I read your blog post about I Am Legend, good job by the way). I know you can’t stand me :)

          • http://www.nicknotnikki.blogspot.com Nick_L_Odeon

            aww.. thank you for the compliment…
            can i just say.. there’s only so many times you can make me jealous and expect me to still be cool with you…
            i can TOTALLY imagine watching that movie in the dark.. scared outta my mind.. (especially when the dog ran into the building.. WTF!?!?!)
            the first time i played Halo in surround sound.. it’s like you heard every “twig snap and rat scurry”.. and it felt like they were on your shoulder.. great times, i tell you!!
            surround sound is from GOD!! the same way summer is from the Devil..
            thanks again for the compliment.. i’m very nervous about putting my writing out there.. considering i write the same way i speak.. and i’m still waiting for the rotten tomatoes to be tossed *braces for impact*

          • http://www.nicknotnikki.blgospot.com Nick_L_Odeon

            and ummm.. did we really have a “God of War” conversation that prompted you to get it.. i don’t remember that.. but if i did, then that’s SUPER!!
            *pats shoulder… and kisses myself*
            i will also wait until you finish the game to tell you that i expect my kiss on the forehead for doing such marvelous work…
            F.Y.I. FOR Y.O.U.!

          • ComicBookGuy

            @Nick_L_Odeon,

            Yeah, we did have a conversation about God of War. I think it started because I saw that you were a fan of Greek mythology and I was too. Yeah, you did give me a nudge in that direction to start playing and I thank you for it. Turning minotaurs with battle axes to stone with Medusa’s head is a great way to spend an evening.

            Ever since I said I was tall, the VSS love the forehead kisses. *shrug* lol

          • http://www.nicknotnikki.blogspot.com Nick_L_Odeon

            ahhh… yes, i remember that now!!! that WAS me!!
            well then… you’re welcome..

            i’m so special.. and not “short bus, tinted windows special..” so don’t take it there..

        • miss t-lee

          “you forgot about the festivus pole, which, considering the disposition of some of the vss’s”

          You nasty Champy…real nasty.

          *snickering*

          Plus, have you seen this size of that thang? ;)

    • http://www.pinchmycheekie.blogspot.com Cheekie

      Um, tomboys are fierce, Nick. lol

      • ComicBookGuy

        @Cheekie,

        You know I got love for tomboys, Cheeks. I was raised by tomboys. That’s why I am such a nice guy. :)

        • http://www.pinchmycheekie.blogspot.com Cheekie

          *nods enthusiastically*

    • Mr. Gundam

      I could answer that from my long-time lurkerness.

      Its not only the post from blogs I love reading but, its the cleverness of the commentators. Most of y’all here have some the wittiness one-liners and thought proving post I read in the past couple of years. Your jokes keep up with Pam and Champ on the daily, add that to the fact half you guys own blogs yourselves. Sometimes, its just better to sit back and read the discussion of very outspoken VSS and VSB who talk about the topic rather than promote their shoe website or hate on the author like a couple other blog sites.

      Well, that’s my opinion about it anyway :-p

      • http://www.nicknotnikki.gmail.com Nick_L_Odeon

        @cheekie.. umm.. i mean, it was all cool when i was in my 20’s.. but now, what 30 year old tryin to be seen as a “lady” is walkin around in Jamaican Pumas.. they’re my favorite pair!! but i’m gonna have to switch it up real soon.. and i don’t mean just for parties either..
        @mr gundam..
        well, i thank you for your insight.. there’s a lot of “gundam” going on.. it’s the 2nd time in as many days that i’ve read that name.. i almost thought you and my boy upthread were the same person.. (that’s not his name when he’s commenting..) you men are gonna have to make me look into this..
        although i’m a tad bit late.. and “i don’t wanna d*ck ride or nothin” so maybe you can just tell me if it’s worth my time looking into..
        and while i understand it’s cool to just sit back and look, it would still be cool if you joined in… (OH! pause!)
        ican’t with myself right now.. i get in trouble at night…
        i’m off like a prom dress.!!
        enjoy your day as well!!

        • http://www.pinchmycheekie.blogspot.com Cheekie

          @Nick – Girl I keep forgetting you’re not in your 20s…you look like it!! But yeah, I feel ya. I used to be a hardcore tomboy, but I’ve switched it up since getting older. I mean, you get girlier…but it never truly fades. :)

        • Mr. Gundam

          I didn’t kno someone else might have used this name b4. I thought it was rather unique cause one would have to do some googling to find out weird Gundam came from.

      • https://www.twitter.com/Stank_0 Stank-0

        I have to completely agree. It’s like a day long conversation with many different sub conversations poppin off.

        There isn’t the requisite flaming, etc. That’s one the reasons VSB starts my day.

        Re: Wire quotes so the Wire is on Hov status now.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

        “Sometimes, its just better to sit back and read the discussion of very outspoken VSS and VSB who talk about the topic rather than promote their shoe website or hate on the author like a couple other blog sites.”

        this is a good point. even when people disagree with what we (or other commentators) say, its done in a respectful manner, and i’m grateful that we’ve been able to attract such a good group of readers

        • Sula

          to attract such a good group of readers

          Speaking of readers, what happened to Me Fail… English??? I miss that girl!

          • miss t-lee

            “what happened to Me Fail… English??? I miss that girl!”

            Me too. She needs to make an appearance. Stat!!!!

      • http://www.pinchmycheekie.blogspot.com Cheekie

        (bolded for instigating emphasis) “Sometimes, its just better to sit back and read the discussion of very outspoken VSS and VSB who talk about the topic rather than promote their shoe website or hate on the author like a couple other blog sites.”

        Shots fired?

        LOL, lemme stop. I agree with you. This set of commenters is a different breed…in a very good way. :)

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “and why, on God’s green planet would someone read the greatness on VSB and not comment!?”

      i understand that. i mean, i read alot during the day as well, and i’m not compelled to leave comments on everything that i like. sometimes just reading is enough.

      plus, we don’t have the bandwidth to handle if every single vsb reader left a comment. the site starts slowing down at around 450-500 comments, so 10,000 would probably make flames jump through the screen

      • http://lizburr.com Liz

        LOL. I can only imagine how life would be if we had that many comments. That would mean we’d really get nothing done in a day

    • http://www.pinchmycheekie.blogspot.com Cheekie

      “and why, on God’s green planet would someone read the greatness on VSB and not comment!?”

      I actually understand a lurker’s perspective. Though I truly believe this group is very welcoming and loving (excluding Panama), I could see how we could come off as a bit cliquish to a new reader or a reader who has never commented (I actually thought that before actually diving in to comment…I guess luckily the blogosphere is so small…I kinda knew a few people already). Still, I always try to encourage lurkers to come and comment…even if not everyday…

      • santa monica

        I was a lurker… *hangs head in shame*

        Until my week off of facebook forced me to find other ways to procrastinate on the web!

        • santa monica

          cont’d…. It’s probably because everything there is to say, is almost ALWAYS said by champ/panama. Neither of the guys have a particularly linear writing style, while it’s reaaaaaaaaallly great writing, it’s more of a mental flow, and not a preplanned, pre-outlined, prediscussed and determined ect ect essay.

          So their thoughts naturally go to cover all aspects about a particular topic, leaving practically nothing out. Its either you agree or disagree. If you disagree, you have something to say…. but for those like me who might agree and dont see the point in leaving a comment JUST to say ‘I agree’, just close the browser and look forward to tomorrows entry!

          • http://www.pinchmycheekie.blogspot.com Cheekie

            I understand that. Actually most of the comments are usually off-topic and/or another sub-topic is created from someone’s comment about the topic.

      • http://verysmartbrothas.com Panama Jackson

        @Cheekie, Though I truly believe this group is very welcoming and loving (excluding Panama),

        why do you hate love Cheekie? and how long are you going to continue this farce of your claimed hatred for me. be free. why dont you dance? alfre woodard is waiting.

        • http://www.pinchmycheekie.blogspot.com Cheekie

          “why do you hate love Cheekie? ”

          I hate math, ya’ll, but I gotta do this here math equation…

          Panama ? love

          4 > Panama

          Solve for x.

  • http://liferequiresmorechocolate.com Tiffany

    Ok, I would have liked to have gone, then left as soon as I heard the first, “I love you….” fly out of someone’s mouth. Yeah it was probably groupie night. I wish there was a better way to have these kinds of things, so that undesirables would be filtered out.

    Peace, Love and Chocolate
    Tiffany

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      “I wish there was a better way to have these kinds of things, so that undesirables would be filtered out.”

      thing is, only fans of our work would pay 25 bucks to listen to some cats you’ve never seen or heard before, so i dont know how to work around that issue

  • http://mostbeautifullest.com huny

    it helps when the anonymous giant n*gga is adorable. which he was. mouthy as hell, though. lawd. (hey, b!)

    you really do need to come back to NYC when you have nothing to do. your whirlwind 20 hour trip does not an accurate impression make.

    oh and add to this: don’t have a panel discussion at a nightclub. if you must, however, do not open the doors an hour late nor the bar. the loud ass rudeness of that crowd was out of control but I get that they were restless, and the acoustics and environment wasn’t what I’d call optimal for that kind of thing either. an shit.

    love ya, cuz.

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      lyou really do need to come back to NYC when you have nothing to do. your whirlwind 20 hour trip does not an accurate impression make.

      yeah, i need to make another trip this summer. i didnt even get the chance to play basketball, catch a cab, or see a naked man on the train. i dont think you can say you’ve experienced new york until you’ve done those things.

      love you too and sh*t

  • meka

    @Chee-kaaaaay–We gonna have to have a VSB fam meetup at this event. It was typed.

    I’m there. I won’t let Liz discourage me. I’ll look thirsty for VSB. (Surely that earns me a complimentary t-shirt or something, right?)

    • http://lizburr.com Liz

      LMAO. Yes, please don’t let me discourage you. I wouldn’t be caught dead at such a thing if it weren’t for “business” in the first place. But, that doesn’t mean others wouldn’t enjoy it :)

  • http://thatbitchstolemyline.com B.Collins

    I had every intention on going, being that I write a sex, dating, lust/love blog…i really did. and then i forgot until the day of and had too much going on to get there. I also couldn’t even being to think about standing in a room with a zillion women looking for a man or the meaning of life with a man. can’t. do. it. I have no mercy on chicks, so lord knows I didn’t need to be in that room.

    I did hear some “interesting” things though. long live the male blog and all his “followers.”

    • http://verysmartbrothas.com The Champ

      I did hear some “interesting” things though. long live the male blog and all his “followers.”

      for instance?

      • http://thatbitchstolemyline.com B.Collins

        y’all are like mini rock stars apparently…