- definitely didn’t meet on the train
1. i’m not a relationship “expert”
to be honest, i didn’t just learn this in new york city. although i’ve co-founded a relationship-centric website and have benefited personally and financially from this particular “expertise”, i’ve never considered myself to be a dating and relationship source.
sure, i’m aware that (some) people do appreciate my advice and insights, but i’m also aware that this appreciation stems more from my ability to write dispassionately, objectively, and wittily about a subject most can’t be dispassionate, objective, and witty about than any deep reservoir of relationship knowledge.
actually, this dispassionateness is exactly why i’m not an expert. as pleased as i am to be able to help cultivate positive relationship discussion, i’m much more interested in the reaction to my writing than the reaction to what i actually say.
i’m bringing this up because this lack of passion is made even more apparent when sitting on a panel next to people like demetria lucas and kenya stevens, women possessing infectiously palpable energy when sharing their thoughts about relationships. when they spoke, their heartfelt anecdotes and advice and made it seem like they believed they were spreading the gospel truth. when i spoke, it felt like i was speaking on a subject i researched and observed instead of something i’ve lived and felt (which is kind of, but not really true, but more on that later)
2. sister toldja is…a sweetheart
although i was very aware that the uber-angry, man-shanking view some have of her wasn’t true, i assumed she’d be somewhat laconic, sarcastic, droll, and occasionally acerbically funny. basically, i was expecting to meet a womanist daria morgendorffer. sh*t, i even read her blog entries in a voice that can be best described as “what janeane garofalo would sound like if she grew up in brownsville”.
to my surprise, sister t is actually much more, for lack of a better term, southern than i imagined her to be. bubbly, gregarious, and affable, she’s much more belle than bea arthur, and it was bit unexpected to find out that everyone’s favorite feminist is one of the girliest girls i’ve ever met.
3. apparently, new york city is the world’s biggest nightclub
between the 8 dollar toll just to get into harlem (a fact which made my friend remark “i hate this f*cking city” at least 246 times in a 24 hour span), the drunk-acting drivers, the practice of just throwing trash on the corner, the randomly out of place and lascivious white women, and the seemingly perpetual background music (in the 22 hours i was there, i can’t remember not hearing any music for longer than a 30 second span. it felt like i was on the world’s drippiest episode of sesame street), new york city is exactly like every wamo night in pittsburgh. who knew?
4. saying “hey, dumbasses, don’t listen to me or anyone else on the panel” probably isn’t the best thing to do in a roomful of people who paid 25 dollars to hear you and everyone else on the panel speak.
i won’t go into too much detail, but lets just say that my (paraphrasing) “hey, the problem with us (black people) is that we spend too much time listening to relationship experts” comment went over about as well as a fart on a submarine.
5. new york city is obviously filled with a bunch of dumb ass dudes
i know this seems harsh, but how else can you explain that roughly 15 guys showed up to an event filled with roughly 300 tipsy women practically ovulating by ovary osmosis? seriously, that show was like a sam’s club for single black men. there hasn’t been that many single and sexy black women in one place since wilt chamberlain’s wake
to be fair, i understand why a guy might have been hesitant to attend. while a favorable female/male ratio is a good thing, 15 women to every man shifts the speed from “favorable” to “f*cking ludicrous” and completely changes the approaching/bagging dynamic. also, the brunson factor would have made things more difficult than usual.
to expound, as a straight man, i feel absolutely no shame in saying that paul brunson–the modern day matchmaker–is, well, mr. perfect. why does this matter? well, any guy trying to holler at a woman at one of his events will have to deal with the “wait. i wanted a pocket sized paul to take home, not your mundane ‘i could have saved money and just met your ass on the train’ ass” factor.
when you add this to the fact that i haven’t even mentioned that approximately 10 of the ninjanets most popular black male personalities (brunson, anslem from nakedwithsockson, jozen from untiligetmarried, slim jackson, streetztalk, and seattle washington from singleblackmale and threewaystotakeit to name a few) were in attendance, and each had a sizable fan base present, maybe the black men of new york city aren’t so stupid after all.
6. everything sounds smarter with a british accent
i’m not saying that lola adesioye’s accent tempted me to transcribe every word she said the entire night into my gphone, but lola adesioye’s accent tempted me to transcribe every word she said the entire night into my gphone.
7. liz is liz
***debating whether to say anything about liz not attending the show because she didnt want to wait in line…despite the fact that i left her a complimentary ticket and all she had to do was go to the box office and say her name. yeah, i probably shouldn’t say anything about that. i’m sure she’ll attend the next time her friend and business partner drives seven hours through the appalachian mountains to nyc to appear on a panel***
8. there’s a quote from the wire for every situation
i drove up to new york with my closest friend. he coaches basketball in europe and just happened to be in pittsburgh last week, and i convinced him to make the trip with me (i also had to convince my cousin to let us stay with her, no small feat since my man is 6’8′, and most people aren’t too keen on having anonymous giant n*ggas sleep on their couches).
if you’re a vsb regular you probably know how much of a wire diehard i am, but my man (who actually introduced me to the show) surpasses and sh*ts on my wire fandom. seriously, if you asked him to rank the three most influential men in his life, his answer would probably include some combination of his dad, God, and bodie broadus.
anyway, with us two in the car together for approximately 14 hours–the round trip distance between nyc and pittsburgh–of a 30 hour span, every situation turned into a scene from the wire.
stuck in traffic? quote bunny colvin’s “f*ck you? no, f*ck me!!” from season three.
problems with the onstar system? quote avon’s “little man stay f*cking up” from season one
waitress mixes up your order at IHOP? do your best marlo stanfield ”my name is my name!!!”
i could continue, but i get the feeling that the 17 of you still reading this want me to move on.
9. i still get surprised when meeting “regular lurkers”
after the show, i got the chance to meet approximately 15-20 fans of vsb, all people who told me they read regularly but never comment. judging from our stats, only maybe 2 to 3 percent of the people who read participate in the conversations, but i still have a tendency to assume that the only people reading are the ones who comment regularly, and it still shocks me to actually see evidence of how popular we’re becoming.
10. i’m not built for this sh*t…not yet, at least
the “written vs spoken word” dynamic came up in private conversations with sister t, anslem, and nikki “coco” nokes at various points of the night. basically, we all discussed how awkward the shift from “online persona” to “in-person” can be for us and our readers, and how difficult it can be to construct your words when speaking so that they have the same impact they usually do when they’re read.
for some this is a non-issue. panama, for instance, has a bit of a stream of consciousness writing style that allows his messages and insights to be heard the same way they’re read. on the other hand, much of what i write is specifically written just to be read; the types of language and humor i insert in my entries would lose their meaning if heard aloud.
this “problem” isn’t unique. most people who consider themselves to be writers and/or introverts tend to be somewhat underwhelming public speakers. but, in this particular instance, to promote the brand and myself, i’ll have to continue to step out of the comfort zone of my controlled keypad environment. and, occasionally, i’ll feel as unenthused about it as i was thursday night.
hopefully i’ll get better at extemporaneous “shifting” in time, but for now if i’m addressing a large group of people (panels and podcasts included), i need prompts, a script, a timeline, and at least three rum and cokes before i can get completely comfortable.
with that being said, between the pre-show, the interview with sister t, the panel, and the afterparty, i actually did have a great time. i even got to witness a live matchmaking, ate an apple and three mcdonalds double cheeseburgers, somehow managed to actually remember the names of five of the vsb lurkers i met while drunk, and had two of my favorite writers tell me that i was one of their favorites.
not quite an entire wheel of cheese, but still pretty damn impressive.
—the champ
A lot of women learned how to properly throw their e-pannies at Slim Jackson via his and Sister Toldja’s vlog. O_O
That doggone chat stream in the vlog was HILAR! Approximately 49 pannies got thrown at the screen everytime Slim showed up.
LOL!! i kept mine on, thankyouberrymuchotacobell..
it WAS quite obscene!! and swalton was in there “what the sam hill is going on!? i’m gonna need another man to show up!!”
poor thing..
lol, slim was actually the first guy i met at the preshow (him, anslem, and i were the only ones on time). he’s a cool dude. super laid back.
Don’t want to jump on an unrelated thread, but if I post now I’ll be in Guam.
Thanks for the shout out and great meeting you in real life man. Best of luck with those public appearances. I tried to make a debut myself, but UStream shut me down.
You weren’t there, Seattle…I don’t believe it.
How did I know I was gonna be on this list?
Srsly dawg. I didn’t wanna stand in line with 200 thirsty-lookin women. Not cool to stand with a bunch of chicks who look desperate. Sorry to chicks who were there, maybe I am not talkin about you specifically, but you get enough chicks together it only takes one to ruin the whole pack (i know this from experience, and me nor any of my friends would agree to attend such a “situation” lol). I was actually quite surprised that the male ratio was so bad. Not that I was lookin for a man or anything.
Anyway, I’ll catch you next time Champy. Lest we forget Panama has never met you in person. I don’t want to overexpose you to too much of my side of the VSB team lol.
I didn’t wanna stand in line with 200 thirsty-lookin women. Not cool to stand with a bunch of chicks who look desperate. Sorry to chicks who were there, maybe I am not talkin about you specifically, but you get enough chicks together it only takes one to ruin the whole pack (i know this from experience, and me nor any of my friends would agree to attend such a “situation” lol).
^I can’t knock this reasoning at all.
I can dig it as well.
Had I known the spot would be so nice I would have told ALLLL my homies in NYC to roll through!
“Srsly dawg. I didn’t wanna stand in line with 200 thirsty-lookin women. Not cool to stand with a bunch of chicks who look desperate.”
Said yet valid. But if we get a bunch of VSSs from here and get together, maybe it won’t be so desperate? It would be more fun to be had than desperation. VSSs don’t seem like desperate chicks, right? Right?! lol
Nuthin wrong with being desperate! I just don’t wanna be confused as such if I can help it lol. I’m always happy to hang with VSBs and VSSs though
Anyway, I’ll catch you next time Champy. Lest we forget Panama has never met you in person
Word? Like really… WORD? I’ve been out here 2+ years and never could’ve imagined.
then again, ain’t no gaddamn thang to see in the Burgh, make yo way to D.C son.Yeah they’ve never met. They probably never even talked on the phone during the first year of VSB. Everything was done over IM and email. Cuz we’re all old school like that.
@ Liz
Did you notice that you’re in one of the tags for this post?
“missing opportunities to hug liz and liz’s boobs”…priceless!
WHAT?!?! Shut the Front door!!!
I don’t know why this is wrong or why I’m surprised, but it is and I am. Champ and Panama seem like old friends.
right. i really can’t believe they’ve never met. wasn’t the first friggin matchmaker thing in DC? doesn’t panama LIVE in/near DC? how does this happen? lol
@Muze, i do live in DC. the weekend that he was here for that event….i had a family event out of town. LOL.
*jaw drops.
“Srsly dawg. I didn’t wanna stand in line with 200 thirsty-lookin women”
lol, you make it sound like it was an audition for “for the love of ray j”. but seriously, thats why n*ggas invented comp tickets, so their friends dont have to stand in line and sh*t
I KNOW. comp tix should mean u skip the line, but no dice. and i didn’t feel like arguing to get into a place packed with women ready to audition for the love of ray j lolol. it was futile.
I was actually AT the event and I felt the exact way you are describing. I contemplated hard and long before going, but honestly it was decent. Now if you went looking for a man, then that was not the place, but I think alot of ppl went to just meet their fav bloggers.
Sounds like a great event! I hope to make the Chicago Modern Day Matchmaker event. Although I have a feeling the male-female ratio in Chicago will be worse than NYC. A lot worse.
Though I’m excited about going, I have a feelin’ too…*grumble*
Lemme keep positive, though. lol *therewillbehellamenthere*
@Cheekie, Though I’m excited about going, I have a feelin’ too…*grumble*
this sounds like a Lil Wayne line
“this sounds like a Lil Wayne line”
I would say I wish I knew how to quit you Panama, but I found out…
Naw son! The chicago event will have wayyy more men. Why? B/c some of these negros are PARCHED (beyond thirsty). Watch. I shall be there so I will count lol
lol, good point, luvvie. Hopefully they thirsty enough to hop on the CTA…
Or no…not the niccas on the CTA, actually… better yet, catch a cab. #bougie
not to sound parched(i dont even stay in chicago) but when is this event?
@coldsweat3,
No EXACT dates yet, but I saw the upcoming cities on Three Ways to Take It:
Philadelphia (June)
Chicago (July)
Atlanta (August)
Boston (September)
Los Angeles (October)
London (November)
The Chi one is in my birfday month! *does the running-man*
“Although I have a feeling the male-female ratio in Chicago will be worse than NYC. A lot worse.”
unless you have 500 women and one eunuch in attendance, this is impossible.
“unless you have 500 women and one eunuch in attendance, this is impossible.”
*DEAD*
What I say yesterday?! Stop typing!
umm, try ATL, home of the “successful, single” black woman.
I miss Atlanta so much….Cincinnati women just aren’t the same caliber. Slim pickins.
Aw I know Cincy very well (my fam’s hometown)… know enough to know I would never, eva live there lol. Just come on down 75 to get your fix!
hahha oh trust after law school I will be OUT!!!! I try to hit up ATL as much as possible cuz I went to school down there and alot of my friends stayed after undergrad.
“I miss Atlanta so much….Cincinnati women just aren’t the same caliber. Slim pickins.”
i have found memories of my first weekend in cincinnati
@05girl, i’m real curious as to how that event will go considering the majority of single, successful women that aren’t in NY or DC are in ATL.
Yeah. I swear Paul released a schedule with all the city dates, that of course now I can’t find. Wish I knew the date, I think it was slated for Aug/Sept.
Given the feedback another commenter wrote below, the forum/panel really needs improvement, or else the ATL show would easily slide into foolywang status.
NYC had the advantage of many bloggers being at the panel (maybe I’m biased, but many where bloggers that I read). Not sure who they would select from ATL.. necole bitchie?
@Liz–I didn’t wanna stand in line with 200 thirsty-lookin women. Not cool to stand with a bunch of chicks who look desperate.
So maybe I’m not going to the Chicago event. Damn Liz.
LOL. Well, I heard in the past the gender ratio was carefully looked after during ticket sales period but when I arrived and saw so many women i was confused. Others reported it being roughly 99% women too, so it wasn’t just me.
Why does it matter what folks think of you? Especially since there were few men there to judge you as “thirsty”? and especially since you would have been there to support a friend?
It doesn’t it’s more of how I feel in those situations, obviously.
And “friend” is a term I use loosely with the champ LOL. There were enough people there for him to be supported.
“And “friend” is a term I use loosely with the champ LOL.
There were enough people there for him to be supported.”
WOW! In 2010 Liz is telling us how she really feels LOL.
“So maybe I’m not going to the Chicago event.”
YES. YOU. ARE.
We gonna have to have a VSB fam meetup at this event. It was typed.
When is this lovely event? I need to know when to run and grab a trenchcoat, fedora, big sunglasses, and a giant notepad.
(Only info known so far)
Philadelphia (June)
Chicago (July)
Atlanta (August)
Boston (September)
Los Angeles (October)
London (November)
@Cheekie, that’s right let ‘em know. i’m gonna be teleconferenced in with 5 shots of tequila in front of me and an all green pimp hat (no sacrilege).
That’s how 3′s roll in the Chi, homie.
First off, thanks for the love. my medium is discussing dating/relationships, but it’s just a thinly veiled guise to get women empowered. you start taking control of your romantic life, it spreads over into everything else. that’s where the passion stems from. tap in and find out what you’re doing this for. i’m a writer, so i know you don’t do this every day all day (or take 30 hr roundtrips) just for the self aggrandizement. that wears off after awhile. be still and think about it.
there is a wire quote for every situation. i don’t remember the question from the panel, but i was choking back quoting McNulty’s “when you play in dirt, you get dirty” and Stringer’s “that’s like a 40 degree day.” My top 3 dead or alive are probably God, my father, and a tie between Lester Freeman and Bunk.
*dead* at your observation about the city having a soundtrack. funny, as I was typing this, i heard the bassline to a song outside my window and realized it was The Dream’s “she needs my love” before i heard the music or lyrics.
God, I love this city.
i lurk on your site.. and i think you are exactly that.. a belle.. unless someone asks you something wack on formspring!!
“My top 3 dead or alive are probably God, my father, and a tie between Lester Freeman and Bunk.”
i’d have to bump bunk and keep lester in there, even though he’s just holding the spot until michael gets old enough to run for mayor.
seriously though, thanks for the advice. doing “this” gets easier when you have a clear goal in mind, and should stop bs-ing in regards to mine.
i’m tryin to get to the atlanta one.. although just by demographic alone, i get the feeling the hungry women up there are gonna make me wanna sit in a corner and chew my hair..
glad you had a great time.. but 7 hours!?!? that’s commitment..
and i run into the same problem when i think about my written words being translated into everyday conversation with random people.. there’s cadences specific to each that might be difficult to cross over.. maybe i’m overthinking it..
and why, on God’s green planet would someone read the greatness on VSB and not comment!?
#thingsthatdon’tmakesense..
and cheekie knows what i wanna talk about.. but can’t, cuz i’ll expose myself..
MUAH!!! maybe it’s best i didn’t get to the new york event.. cuz i woulda been chewing my hair there too.. tomboys don’t stand a chance!
I am going to bed but I wanted to respond to your festivus gift. It is from Seinfield, a holiday that George’s family celebrates. What do you know about the feats of strength? lol, Oh yeah, the only reason why I suck at playing PS3 online is because I don’t have much time as I used to to practice, but I am getting there. Oh yeah, God of War is getting good.
So, I guess it’s not just me she’s getting on about the God of War.
I comment once in a while, but for the most part I lurk. The reason for that is just that I’m already 3 hrs behind most of you and I’d have to read the 200-350 comments that are up by the time I get to work before I’m even able to comment. Sometimes I’m able to get here at night, but even then I am reading from my phone and I hate commenting from that thing.
@SaneN85,
I guess not. I am glad she finally got to buckle down and get it. I love how those games are so epic in scale. It is really cool to know there are pretty black women out there that play video games, especially something as serious as God of War.
HEY OHH!!
100 points.. i’m so proud of you i could weep.. (on the inside, of course.. cuz i’m a thug)
i know about the feats of strength.. and my dear man, i see your feats of strength and raise you the festivus tree.. (aka, the aluminum pole..)
“it’s a festivus MIRACLE!!”
i can understand about not having the time to practice.. you’re a busy dude so i won’t ride you too hard about that.. but STILL!!!
i mean, if you’re not gonna appreciate it, then pass that black, magic box (pause) over thisa way..
lol.. have a great day at work..
You are too funny. That entire Festivus episode is one of my favorites.
Frank Costanza: “Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way.”
Kramer: “What happened to the doll?”
Frank Costanza: “It was destroyed. But out of that a new holiday was born: a Festivus for the rest of us!”
Sorry, my dear, but I won’t be passing that black magic box anytime soon. If I am not playing video games, I am watching something action packed on Blu-Ray.
Funny thing is that you put a “pause” for this: “if you’re not gonna appreciate it, then pass that black, magic box (pause) over thisa way”,
But not a pause for this: “you’re a busy dude so i won’t ride you too hard about that..”.
LMAO. I’ll let you slide. It was late when you wrote that.
Please do not forget about the Airing of Grievances…”I got a lot of problems with you people”
“I am going to bed but I wanted to respond to your festivus gift. It is from Seinfield, a holiday that George’s family celebrates. What do you know about the feats of strength?”
you forgot about the festivus pole, which, considering the disposition of some of the vss’s, could be used for, ummm, other things
Can’t forget the festivus pole.
Kramer: “And is there a tree?”
Frank Costanza: “No, instead, there’s a pole. It requires no decoration. I find tinsel distracting.”
Frank Costanza: “It’s made from aluminum. Very high strength-to-weight ratio.”
i absolutely adore when Kramer is carrying the pole.. FANTASTIC!! and everyone is just looking at him like “WTF!?”
since i’m having a glitch this morning.. is that the same episode where Jerry’s girlfriend looks good in only a certain kind of light??
funny thing.. it was late when i wrote that.. but i didn’t go to bed til about 2 hours after that (i keep very late hours)
and yeah the “i’m not gonna ride you too much about that” was pause-worthy.. but that’s not the first time i said that.. and i can’t be pausin everytime!
maybe, just maybe i’m an expert rider.. so there’s no pause necessary.. (HEY OHH!)
and you just HAD to put the blu-ray out there!? you know, once my money is right i’m gonna upgrade like you’ve NEVER SEEN!!!
“so let it be written.. so let it be done..”
i can’t stand you…
yes i can…
but no, not really…
@Nick_L_Odeon,
When you get your money right, please do upgrade. Blu-Ray is the bomb. Watching “I Am Legend” on Blu-Ray at night, in the dark, with surround sound up is a good way to spend a Friday night. You hear everything. (Yeah, I read your blog post about I Am Legend, good job by the way). I know you can’t stand me
aww.. thank you for the compliment…
can i just say.. there’s only so many times you can make me jealous and expect me to still be cool with you…
i can TOTALLY imagine watching that movie in the dark.. scared outta my mind.. (especially when the dog ran into the building.. WTF!?!?!)
the first time i played Halo in surround sound.. it’s like you heard every “twig snap and rat scurry”.. and it felt like they were on your shoulder.. great times, i tell you!!
surround sound is from GOD!! the same way summer is from the Devil..
thanks again for the compliment.. i’m very nervous about putting my writing out there.. considering i write the same way i speak.. and i’m still waiting for the rotten tomatoes to be tossed *braces for impact*
and ummm.. did we really have a “God of War” conversation that prompted you to get it.. i don’t remember that.. but if i did, then that’s SUPER!!
*pats shoulder… and kisses myself*
i will also wait until you finish the game to tell you that i expect my kiss on the forehead for doing such marvelous work…
F.Y.I. FOR Y.O.U.!
@Nick_L_Odeon,
Yeah, we did have a conversation about God of War. I think it started because I saw that you were a fan of Greek mythology and I was too. Yeah, you did give me a nudge in that direction to start playing and I thank you for it. Turning minotaurs with battle axes to stone with Medusa’s head is a great way to spend an evening.
Ever since I said I was tall, the VSS love the forehead kisses. *shrug* lol
ahhh… yes, i remember that now!!! that WAS me!!
well then… you’re welcome..
i’m so special.. and not “short bus, tinted windows special..” so don’t take it there..
“you forgot about the festivus pole, which, considering the disposition of some of the vss’s”
You nasty Champy…real nasty.
*snickering*
Plus, have you seen this size of that thang?
Um, tomboys are fierce, Nick. lol
@Cheekie,
You know I got love for tomboys, Cheeks. I was raised by tomboys. That’s why I am such a nice guy.
*nods enthusiastically*
I could answer that from my long-time lurkerness.
Its not only the post from blogs I love reading but, its the cleverness of the commentators. Most of y’all here have some the wittiness one-liners and thought proving post I read in the past couple of years. Your jokes keep up with Pam and Champ on the daily, add that to the fact half you guys own blogs yourselves. Sometimes, its just better to sit back and read the discussion of very outspoken VSS and VSB who talk about the topic rather than promote their shoe website or hate on the author like a couple other blog sites.
Well, that’s my opinion about it anyway :-p
@cheekie.. umm.. i mean, it was all cool when i was in my 20′s.. but now, what 30 year old tryin to be seen as a “lady” is walkin around in Jamaican Pumas.. they’re my favorite pair!! but i’m gonna have to switch it up real soon.. and i don’t mean just for parties either..
@mr gundam..
well, i thank you for your insight.. there’s a lot of “gundam” going on.. it’s the 2nd time in as many days that i’ve read that name.. i almost thought you and my boy upthread were the same person.. (that’s not his name when he’s commenting..) you men are gonna have to make me look into this..
although i’m a tad bit late.. and “i don’t wanna d*ck ride or nothin” so maybe you can just tell me if it’s worth my time looking into..
and while i understand it’s cool to just sit back and look, it would still be cool if you joined in… (OH! pause!)
ican’t with myself right now.. i get in trouble at night…
i’m off like a prom dress.!!
enjoy your day as well!!
@Nick – Girl I keep forgetting you’re not in your 20s…you look like it!! But yeah, I feel ya. I used to be a hardcore tomboy, but I’ve switched it up since getting older. I mean, you get girlier…but it never truly fades.
I didn’t kno someone else might have used this name b4. I thought it was rather unique cause one would have to do some googling to find out weird Gundam came from.
I have to completely agree. It’s like a day long conversation with many different sub conversations poppin off.
There isn’t the requisite flaming, etc. That’s one the reasons VSB starts my day.
Re: Wire quotes so the Wire is on Hov status now.
“Sometimes, its just better to sit back and read the discussion of very outspoken VSS and VSB who talk about the topic rather than promote their shoe website or hate on the author like a couple other blog sites.”
this is a good point. even when people disagree with what we (or other commentators) say, its done in a respectful manner, and i’m grateful that we’ve been able to attract such a good group of readers
to attract such a good group of readers
Speaking of readers, what happened to Me Fail… English??? I miss that girl!
“what happened to Me Fail… English??? I miss that girl!”
Me too. She needs to make an appearance. Stat!!!!
(bolded for instigating emphasis) “Sometimes, its just better to sit back and read the discussion of very outspoken VSS and VSB who talk about the topic rather than promote their shoe website or hate on the author like a couple other blog sites.”
Shots fired?
LOL, lemme stop. I agree with you. This set of commenters is a different breed…in a very good way.
“and why, on God’s green planet would someone read the greatness on VSB and not comment!?”
i understand that. i mean, i read alot during the day as well, and i’m not compelled to leave comments on everything that i like. sometimes just reading is enough.
plus, we don’t have the bandwidth to handle if every single vsb reader left a comment. the site starts slowing down at around 450-500 comments, so 10,000 would probably make flames jump through the screen
LOL. I can only imagine how life would be if we had that many comments. That would mean we’d really get nothing done in a day
“and why, on God’s green planet would someone read the greatness on VSB and not comment!?”
I actually understand a lurker’s perspective. Though I truly believe this group is very welcoming and loving (excluding Panama), I could see how we could come off as a bit cliquish to a new reader or a reader who has never commented (I actually thought that before actually diving in to comment…I guess luckily the blogosphere is so small…I kinda knew a few people already). Still, I always try to encourage lurkers to come and comment…even if not everyday…
I was a lurker… *hangs head in shame*
Until my week off of facebook forced me to find other ways to procrastinate on the web!
cont’d…. It’s probably because everything there is to say, is almost ALWAYS said by champ/panama. Neither of the guys have a particularly linear writing style, while it’s reaaaaaaaaallly great writing, it’s more of a mental flow, and not a preplanned, pre-outlined, prediscussed and determined ect ect essay.
So their thoughts naturally go to cover all aspects about a particular topic, leaving practically nothing out. Its either you agree or disagree. If you disagree, you have something to say…. but for those like me who might agree and dont see the point in leaving a comment JUST to say ‘I agree’, just close the browser and look forward to tomorrows entry!
I understand that. Actually most of the comments are usually off-topic and/or another sub-topic is created from someone’s comment about the topic.
@Cheekie, Though I truly believe this group is very welcoming and loving (excluding Panama),
why do you hate love Cheekie? and how long are you going to continue this farce of your claimed hatred for me. be free. why dont you dance? alfre woodard is waiting.
“why do you hate love Cheekie? ”
I hate math, ya’ll, but I gotta do this here math equation…
Panama ? love
4 > Panama
Solve for x.
Ok, I would have liked to have gone, then left as soon as I heard the first, “I love you….” fly out of someone’s mouth. Yeah it was probably groupie night. I wish there was a better way to have these kinds of things, so that undesirables would be filtered out.
Peace, Love and Chocolate
Tiffany
“I wish there was a better way to have these kinds of things, so that undesirables would be filtered out.”
thing is, only fans of our work would pay 25 bucks to listen to some cats you’ve never seen or heard before, so i dont know how to work around that issue
it helps when the anonymous giant n*gga is adorable. which he was. mouthy as hell, though. lawd. (hey, b!)
you really do need to come back to NYC when you have nothing to do. your whirlwind 20 hour trip does not an accurate impression make.
oh and add to this: don’t have a panel discussion at a nightclub. if you must, however, do not open the doors an hour late nor the bar. the loud ass rudeness of that crowd was out of control but I get that they were restless, and the acoustics and environment wasn’t what I’d call optimal for that kind of thing either. an shit.
love ya, cuz.
lyou really do need to come back to NYC when you have nothing to do. your whirlwind 20 hour trip does not an accurate impression make.
yeah, i need to make another trip this summer. i didnt even get the chance to play basketball, catch a cab, or see a naked man on the train. i dont think you can say you’ve experienced new york until you’ve done those things.
love you too and sh*t
@Chee-kaaaaay–We gonna have to have a VSB fam meetup at this event. It was typed.
I’m there. I won’t let Liz discourage me. I’ll look thirsty for VSB. (Surely that earns me a complimentary t-shirt or something, right?)
LMAO. Yes, please don’t let me discourage you. I wouldn’t be caught dead at such a thing if it weren’t for “business” in the first place. But, that doesn’t mean others wouldn’t enjoy it
I had every intention on going, being that I write a sex, dating, lust/love blog…i really did. and then i forgot until the day of and had too much going on to get there. I also couldn’t even being to think about standing in a room with a zillion women looking for a man or the meaning of life with a man. can’t. do. it. I have no mercy on chicks, so lord knows I didn’t need to be in that room.
I did hear some “interesting” things though. long live the male blog and all his “followers.”
I did hear some “interesting” things though. long live the male blog and all his “followers.”
for instance?
y’all are like mini rock stars apparently…
This seems like a slightly intimidating event.
Something halfway between church and the club.
I’ll stick to Trader Joe’s and grad libraries.
This seems like a slightly intimidating event.
Something halfway between church and the club.
I am DEAD at this analysis!! Lawdavmercy.
^Cosign
Chuckle Chuckle
Kee Kee
@ulysses,
Dude, that was funny.
Funny you say that, because that was how it felt for me. I was there alone (most of my boys have girls, and the ones that don’t wouldn’t spend the money to do this, so I didn’t bother trying to recruit them.) All the girls were there in groups of 2 or more. I wasn’t there for the party, but for the part I was there the women were in these packs. I didn’t have a wingman, and breaking up women-packs is hard when doing it dolo. At events like these women tend to make it hard for you to talk to them, even though many of them “think” they’re not making it hard to be talked to.
And this event kind of reminded me of 10AM service at Emmanuel Baptist Church in Brooklyn (those who know, know.)
and see… i was gonna go by myself..
i hear i’m unapproachable.. so we wouldn’t have met anyway.. lol
and now, i wanna go and look at that church in Brooklyn.. lol
I actually just came to the realization last night after another event in Brooklyn that the vast majority of the time I get a girl’s number or make a connection at some event, it’s only if she’s alone. I don’t do it consciously, but it’s always easier to strike up a convo when she’s standing looking like she *needs* me to come talk to her to keep her from dying of boredom. As opposed to when she’s in a circle and looks like she’s having the time of her life with her cousin, her line sister, her homegirl from work, her homegirl’s cousin, their gay friend, and her best friend from 8th grade. *That* girl will react to me the way you react to those flies that used to like to annoy people by landing on them at the public pool in the summertime.
wait a minute..
didn’t we have a discussion about “eternal sunshine” a while back??
joel met clementine by himself.. minus the “erasing memories” part, i think that’s how it should be done..
and i told myself that if someone approaches me properly (without hissing, in a proper sentence etc.) then i would at least give him my name.. but i can understand how it is for a guy to see a pack of women and just want to single one out..
If they’re all complete strangers to you you have to pick one in the crew, and you should try to pick well, which is hard because you don’t know any of them yet. The best way to do it is to type-cast them based on what you’ve been successful with in the past and based on salient stuff – style of dress, mannersims, tone of how they speak, etc. Like me – I don’t do well with Glamour Girls (women who are always striving to look the part of the perfect 10 at all times.) I’m not the male counterpart to the Glamour Girl, so it’s not a good fit. I hate to say it, but I saw a bunch of Glamour Girls on that line and in that spot. I’ve known a bunch and I feel like I can just see it. That added to why it was a tough situation – Glamour Girls in packs, and I have no wingmen. Like trying to do battle with a United States Navy Destroyer in a canoe.
I forgot to ask, what was the Eternal Sunshine thing? I think I missed that.
lol@ “destroyer vs a canoe..”
and since we didn’t have the eternal sunshine conversation (i could’ve sworn it was you.. no offense) then that’s a movie that you have to watch.. greatly done and wonderfully made..
then you’ll understand my comment..
“eternal sunshine of the spotless mind”
you seem like a smart cookie, so i don’t think you’ll be disappointed.. i’ll even refund your $1 rental fee if you don’t like it.. (it better not cost more than a $1!!)
and i get the whole “glamour girl” situation.. but HOW BOUT a “tomboy that cleans up nicely..” cuz there’s a couple of those where i come from! lol
“This seems like a slightly intimidating event.
Something halfway between church and the club.”
LOL
*DEAD* after reading “…since wilt chamberlain’s wake” you are hilarious Champ.
lol, i was originally going to go with “avon barkdale’s welcome home party” but i think wilt the stilts wake was more fitting
@Luvvie–Naw son! The chicago event will have wayyy more men. Why? B/c some of these negros are PARCHED (beyond thirsty).
CTA bus drivers and panhandlers don’t count.
@Cheekie–Ima send positive vibes too in hopes that we can pll this thing through.
I wasn’t at the Modern Matchmaker event, but i tuned into the video stream and participated in the chat. Here’s what I learned:
*Anytime i’m on time for something, everyone else is late. Thereby, reinforcing my perpetual tardiness because I don’t like waiting. I’ll probably be late next time. – The uStream started 1 hour later than it was supposed to
*uStream is a plain ol’ hater & didn’t let them be great. Either that or janky wireless at an event will murk you when you want to live stream(probably the latter).
*Anslem of Naked With Socks On has cheekbones that are almost as high as mine. And he’s so chocolatey. I’mo call him “Chocolate Joy.”
*Slim Jackson gets some women instantly damp. This is VERBATIM of what couple folks said after seeing him on camera.
*Sister Toldja’s makeup was FIERCE!
*Champ is… a nerd. Well I already knew that. I just had to throw in a lil hateration on Humpty.
Yeah, Sister T’s makeup was DA BOMB. Especially that eye makeup. Being a makeup bum (meanin, I don’t really know ish about it), I can still appreciate a good makeup job. lol
Chocolate joy makes me think of Chocolate rain song or chocolate thunder, bot of which don’t evoke great visual elements for me.
LOL
*Champ is… a nerd. Well I already knew that. I just had to throw in a lil hateration on Humpty.
hump deez
No.
Any women with a foreign accent generally seems to like better and yeah the wire is that show. Chicago right now is like season 1 -5
lol, i’m going to assume that you were very tired when you wrote this
@The Champ, that made me laugh for real
“missing opportunities to hug liz and liz’s boobs”
I hate the day I turned the tagging feature on.
On that note, I hate Champ for his Human Centipede tag a couple weeks back. That was the 2nd reference I’d seen to it. I didn’t actually watch it until he said that no one mentioned it and he was surprised.
I can’t believe they got that film financed. I can’t believe there’s going to be a sequel.
@Shay
It’s actually going to be a trilogy…WHY?!?!?! The premise is so disgusting and ridiculous that you couldn’t pay me to watch any parts of it. If this foolishness can get financed then Cheekie’s screenplays better get picked up ASAP or I’m starting a protest!
Thanks, doll! Ya know, I still haven’t gotten quite ready to watch that Human Centipede trailer Champ linked yet. *heebiejeebies*
lmao….that’s the last thing i saw before i came into the comments. i was thinking….how did liz let that tag slip in there…..lol
lmao, I always tell myself to make sure to read Champ’s tags because they’re the best.
Dang. The ratio was that bad? I wish I could have been there, but as you know it fell on a weekday, so that didn’t give me a whole lot of options. I guess it was geared towards the single and freelanced? I’m sure you knocked it out the park, Champers. I saw your interview with Sister T and you did well. (*waving to Sister T* nice eye makeup!)
“I’m sure you knocked it out the park, Champers.”
thats what she said. lol, seriously though, thanks. the interview was fun, and further reinforces the idea that we need to get her on a podcast
cosign #9 i was a reader for a very long time before i decided to start commenting. Its a fear of acceptance I think.
what brought you out?
its funny you mention the sweethearted nature of sister toldja (although we had this discussion over gchat) because i was secretly hoping she’d be as awesome and cool in person as i imagine her to be online (blog/twitter). i shall continue to follow her on twitter and have a girl crush on her. thanks for the confirmation, champie!
lastly… liz not going to the event because she doesnt wanna be bothered with desperate chicks makes me laugh since i never actually thought about the event as something that ppl go to to actually GET advise or a boo LOL. i imagined it to be something like an opportunity to network, meet VSBers, and possibly swap sad/funny/dangerous dating stories for sh*ts and giggles–shiggles if you will. im always down for an opp to meet new ppl (although i think i’ve met all the commenting VSB fam in pgh).
Point of clarification!
*claire huxtable voice* Let the record show that I, in fact, did show up to the event, despite what Champ’s nonstatements about my appearance may lead you to believe.
I just didn’t go inside. There’s a difference!
@Liz
Do I need to say it? Or can I just shake my head silently?
“lastly… liz not going to the event because she doesnt wanna be bothered with desperate chicks makes me laugh since i never actually thought about the event as something that ppl go to to actually GET advise or a boo LOL. i imagined it to be something like an opportunity to network, meet VSBers, and possibly swap sad/funny/dangerous dating stories for sh*ts and giggles–shiggles if you will. ”
This is what I’m goin’ for. If I meet eligible man-meat, that’s the cherry on top. Oh, and I love you for “shiggles”. I love you for much more Gemmie, but this is just another thing to add to the list. (before you e’en try: stop hatin’, Champ)
i was using it as a way to network.. and meet a couple bloggers i respect.. but that was it..
i dont’ know why women would’ve thought man-meat was gonna be there..
my mind is altered..
lol thanks cheeks. its nice to be loved back by some one i love so dearly
Fusing the online persona takes time…truthfully, I censor myself a bit here because I throw links up from VSB on FB all the time, and I’m posting under my real first name…although I consider myself an open book, and if you ask me a direct question, I’ll answer honestly, there are some professors and potential mentors on my friend’s list and I wouldn’t necessarily want them to see my not-so-professional side. Then again, I also have Pookie, Ray Ray, an po’ lil Tink Tink on my friends list and they get out of pocket from time to time and write some
truthfulmess on my wall that I bury underrandom sh*tinteresting links that I come across.Also- British accents are the business. Accents in general, but British especially. I ran into a girl today was decidedly average looking in her work uniform but the patois slipped through and instantly became more attractive. I can’t explain this. It just happens.
LOL@ “pookie and lil Tink Tink”.. i never heard of Tink Tink!!
i consider myself an open book too.. which gets outta hand sometimes because i get 50-lem facebook police callin me like, “what is up with your status?!” and i’m like “it was a JOKE!” it was just something i heard that i thought was funny.. what is the issue!?!?
i’m always asked to “do that accent”.. which is crazy to me because i’ve been up here for so long i don’t think i have it anymore.. but every now and then, it’ll slip and several dudes will be like “don’t speak like that, it makes me wanna jump you..”
o_O..
i wanted to be a dialect coach because i’m fairly great at accents.. i don’t know what it is about accents.. but hey.. i’ll ride it til the wheels fall off…
@Nick Katt Williams did a bit about a runner who lost his legs and had to get prosthetics. Based on the sound he made while walking/running Katt decided to nickname him Tink-Tink. When I saw Shay’s reference I almost choked!
Also, your accent is lovely! I on the other hand vacillate between flat-Midwestern and down-home Alabama. Color me a hater
yeah….paul brunson is pretty hot.
He seems pretty dreamy.
Something about Paul Brunson almost seems too perfect. I need him to show a couple more flaws before I believe he’s real. Plus he’s married I think.
Yeah, he’s married. To a beautiful black woman. Even more perfect and swoon-worthy for his demographic. As soon as I realized that, I tried to imagine them getting into an argument and I couldn’t. He seems too good to be true. lmao
I didn’t wanna seem like a hater…LMAO
Glad you said it.
“we all discussed how awkward the shift from “online persona” to “in-person” can be for us and our reader”
Y’know, I’ve wondered about this a time or two myself….how online personality translates in real-life, real-time. Though I haven’t been following VSB that long, I have on occasion wondered if VSB/VSSs would be as (insert appropriate adjective here) as their comments suggest…
Is Cheekie as funny and sharp-witted in person? (prob so) Would the punchlines and one-liners come as fast, though?
Would Miss T-lee actually punch a mofo in the throat, if pushed? (I’m inclined to believe she would)
Are Panama, Humble, etc. really 3s? (Sh*t, I gotta include myself in this lineup)
*Why do I need ID to get ID…if I had ID I wouldn’t need ID
These are just questions, man, just questions…
@DG
“Are Panama, Humble, etc. really 3s? (Sh*t, I gotta include myself in this lineup)”
Yes we are. And I’m not a 3. I’m a 1.5. I’d be a 3 but I’m not light-skinned.
“Is Cheekie as funny and sharp-witted in person? (prob so) Would the punchlines and one-liners come as fast, though?”
LOL, you know I wonder this myself. I think people have to realize that like Champ said, some things are more effective when read. I mean, I usually do write the way I talk, but some jokes are definitely funnier in print and there’s no way around that.
But, anyone who knows me, really knows me knows I’ve always been a jokester. My humor is pretty much as goofy/crazy/sometimes sarcastic as it appears here. I just hope folks don’t expect me to be “ON” all the time and just let it flow naturally. *bites fingernails*
But yeah, I hope they come as fast (which…through here, you don’t really know how FAST they come)…I’d say about 72% of the time, the ish I say here is typed right after I think it and it comes to be while I’m reading a comment/post…which is probably why I got so many dayum comments here. lol
@Cheekie I don’t expect you to be “ON” but you always are and you give me at least 20 laughs a day
Our back/forth on Twitter keeps me in stitches so thanks for being so wonderfully you.
To be honest, between you and Nick I don’t know how I get anything accomplished during the work day…damn ya’ll for being so freakin’ awesome!
@MsEsquire77 & Cheekie
Am I missing out on more VSB fun by ignoring Twitter?
@ Humble_One Yes! Come on over to the dark side and join us…
why yes.. yes you are..
(hey, you asked..)
@Esquire77.. *e-blush…
@cheekie…
i get what you mean..people get around me and they’re like, “Nick is so funny.. go head Nick, say something funny” ummm, i am not your circus monkey.. and a lot of people don’t realize that it’s usually the back and forth interaction that brings out the humor.. HENCE, i cannot be a stand-up comic like so many would think..
but remember what i said.. if my papers come through in time.. we’re gonna have a h*ll of a halloween..
“so let it be written.. so let it be done..”
Yes, you effin’ are missin’ out, Humble_One. Twitter is like hanging out with the VSBs/VSSs in real-time, without the in-person benefit.
@Esquire – AWWWW. I love ya girlie!
@Nick – You nailed it. The back-and-forth definitely contributes to my material. Notice how most of the comments I say in here are in RESPONSE to what someone else says. I’m just ping-ponging off ya’ll…ya’ll are just as hilarious and great. And yes, let you get some gubment papers and we will destroy Halloween.
@MsEsquire77, Cheekie, and Nick_L_Odeon
Are your Twitter names the same as your VSB names?
mine is…
cheekie is @pinckmycheekie.. and esquire is exactly that…
@msEsquire77..
lookin forward.. (said like mos def in “16 blocks”
@Humble,
What Nick said. Someone took just ‘Cheekie’ before I could get to it. *pouts and shakes fist…in that order*
Wait..Humble one. Nick done did a typo. Mine is @pinchmycheekie
Anyhow, I’m still mad about someone taking Cheekie because they don’t even update that much. Well at least when I tried to sign up they didn’t. Anyhow, I’M the OG Cheekie. Been rockin’ this name since 1999. No lie.
i did done do a typo..
my ebonics need some work..
don’t mind me.. MUAH!!!!
*spreads love across the land..*
Yeah, I can relate. I try to have fun on here as much as I can with off the wall replys that just come to me at the time. But I think folks would be extremely surprised to find out how quiet and attentive I can be in person. I just people watch everyone around me. I really am an introvert until I’m comfortable around certain folks. In person I really don’t speak until I have something to say. *10inch shrug* Oh well…
I really am an introvert until I’m comfortable around certain folks. In person I really don’t speak until I have something to say.
Yeah, I’m the same way…
Ditto!
“But I think folks would be extremely surprised to find out how quiet and attentive I can be in person. I just people watch everyone around me. I really am an introvert until I’m comfortable around certain folks.”
I’ve said this before, but this is me. I’m more observant and quiet than talkative, but once I DO warm-up, the goofiness of me definitely comes out. Which is why I say those who really know me only know the real silly side of me.
However, I feel it’s a different dynamic with one day meeting you all because I kinda have the “meeting” out of the way. Just not in person. It’s strange…it’s like I know ya’ll, but not really. You know what I mean…
Funny enough, I kind of figured you were of the quiet persuasion…
One person I know for sure is not quiet is my girl Miss t-lee.
You called it Sula…I’m sooooo not quiet. I used to stay getting in trouble in school for trying to out-talk the teacher.
Oh yeah, next month I will be in the H. *jersey shore fist pump*
We need to get the H-Town edition VSB meet-up on and poppin’.
i’ve been meaning to ask.. where are you “comin home” from.. you’ve been counting down for a while..
Iraq baby gurl..Contractin 4 tha govt.
Tx,
I was gonna ask the same thing as Nick JUST now. Anyhow, hope you have a safe trip back home!
Thanks Cheeks. will do. *smile*
i’m so glad you’re coming home… be safe and i’m not a citizen or anything.. but “thank you..”
LoL @DG. Funny thing is I haven’t had to lay hands on anyone in quite sometime, but the throat punch is a good move to have in the arsenal, just in case.
Happy Tuesday.
but the throat punch is a good move to have in the arsenal, just in case
lmbo. A properly placed “throat punch” can remedy any situation.
Agreed.
Oh yeah, next month I will be in the H. *jersey shore fist pump*
We need to get the H-Town edition VSB meet-up on and poppin’.
Def a possibility…what it do Sula?
I say we shall! Miss t-lee owes me a hangout in the H anyways…
So y’all just let me know… I should be in town in July…
#weaintgoingtohumbletho.
Humble? *side-eye*
Like heyll I’m going out there.
I’ll email ya soon….lol
All the other Houston folks…get at Sula. *snicker*
@miss t-lee,
Way to make me the de-facto organizer… Lol.
Yeah, I needed a disclaimer on Humble in case Tx6days wanted to strong arm us into meeting over there… Lol.
See how I just delegated that to you…lol
I feel ya on the disclaimer though. Humble definitely ain’t gone work.
#weaintgoingtohumbletho.
Humble? *side-eye*
Like heyll I’m going out there.
@Sula and t-lee
Just make sure you both bring your Jello-sy pops to snack on…
“Just make sure you both bring your Jello-sy pops to snack on…”
I bet NOT have to pack a lunch…ctfu!
@Sula and T-lee
We ain’t got to do Humble, it’s cool. I know that ain’t the side of town to meet for get2getha’s, but I got my own lil disclamer lovely ladies — I don’t drank or do clubs (anymore). Buzzkill, yeah i kno…
@Tx…completely understandable.
I’m sure we can find a happy medium.
Indeeeed.
4sho. Don’t mean errbody else can’t do they thang..Sure yall come up wit something. *smile* just let me kno.
@Tx,
Do you do bars/lounges? Anyways, you can hit me up @ mssula79@gmail.com
Keep me in the loop; I’m down for the VSB get-ta-gather. Hit me up @sbcglobal.net
@Sula
Do you do bars/lounges?
Yeah, 4sho. I just won’t be partaking in any a a a a a acohol. I was thinkin maybe even Papadeaux’s
I’ll hit you up soon or hit me on texans4evah@yahoo.com
@Caballeroso
We got u dawg. We just need a valid email address..I think u cut it off by mistake.
caballeroso@sbcglobal.net
@DG, Are Panama, Humble, etc. really 3s? (Sh*t, I gotta include myself in this lineup)
while I can’t speak for Humble, I’m most certainly a 3. I mean, it wasn’t even me who said it first, a woman called me that before I decided to accept it and run with it. I’m self-aware.
@PJ
i really need to know the ‘girrrl he’s a three’ story. i’ve heard about this infamous post… but i have no interest in sifting through archives to read about it. lol.
@Muze,
Panama wrote a “ranking (famous) women” post and a lot of folks got upset about it. To the point where someone REALLY did the most and mentioned his daughter saying “What if someone called your daughter so-and-so” and Panama told them ’bout themselves in the comment AND in a subsequent post. And someone else (or was it the same person) was pretty much like, “You don’t have the right to rank no one, you pretty much a 3 anyway”. Crazily enough, that happened when I was still pretty new around here. It was INSANE and I read more than I commented because I was so O_O at it all.
@Cheekie
woooooow! bringing the baby up? i would’ve been the same way reading. i may just have to go read this response now that i am aware of Panama’s inherent gangstaness with people that do the most online. lmbo.
thanks for contributing to my lack of productivity today. …but i asked for it i guess. lol. *Liz shrug*
lol @ Liz having her own shrug. You doin’ big thangs, homie! (pause)
I am not surprised either that there were more women than men at the matchmaking event….that’s New York for ya. I just hope those women that attended walked out with reinforcement and positivity.
“I just hope those women that attended walked out with reinforcement and positivity.”
are “reinforcement” and “positivity” the names of the two cats sitting in the second row?
O_O
You can’t even go to the corner, it’s too good for you.
are “reinforcement” and “positivity” the names of the two cats sitting in the second row?
lol. good one. “reinforcement” and “positivity” were probably hiding in the back somewhere… you did mention guys were limited.
interesting about writing vs. the spoken word. Its hard for me to just listen to audio but I can watch a video. Like I think I could have watched a video of you speaking this post and I think I would love seeing a favorite blogger speak in person. At the same time, writing is so much easier and can be much more powerful than speaking, I guess.
LOL @ the Brunson factor. I thought a man would get more men openly interested in relationships and matchmaking but he his too cute ha ha. and I mean that like girl he is too cute! So what if he had 1 eyeball, acne, 1 leg and a kickstand I wonder if that would help. damned if you do, damned if you dont. I guess there is a cute tax for guys too.
wait I didn’t mean writing was easier, period, I meant easier than speaking an insightful and witty sentence in front of a large audience.
lol, i understood what you meant. i actually wish you would have explained your second paragraph instead. it almost made me dyslexic.
“it almost made me dyslexic.”
LOL! *dead and gone*
Do they have these events in SoCal? I wouldn’t mind going. Yeah the ratio would be ridiculous but what social event isn’t? lol. Sounds like fun to me. With a VSB discount, that is, LOL. I wish I’d caught the Ustream. I forgot all about it. Do they archive those things?
I’m a writer as well and it is difficult doing verbally what you usually do on the page. There’s no delete, no draft that will never see the light of day, lol. So, I feel you, Champ! Just keep doing it and you’ll get better.
I want to cosign Sister Toldja being a cool person. I don’t know her personally but we went to the same college. She was at my pre-orientation, offering the student perspective and she was sooooo real. Definitely cool peoples in my book. And she’s gorgeous!
I’m relatively new to VSBland but I was only a lurker here for like 2 days before I started commenting, lol. I read some posts, went back into the archives to see if I was feeling the blog and decided to join in on the fun.
Do they have these events in SoCal?
i’m pretty sure he’s doing an event in la.
“we all discussed how awkward the shift from “online persona” to “in-person” can be for us and our reader”
THIS.
i was invited to be on the panel at the Blogging While Brown conference a couple years ago (back when ppl actually read my blog. lol) and i got so scared! like, speaking on a panel? Me? i’m no expert… i’m just ME! lol.
i consider myself a MUCH more effective communicator via written word as opposed to speaking, so i completely understand. i’ve met people who read my blog at different times who’ve told me i’m cooler than my online personality suggests, i’m exactly how they thought i’d be, or that i’m very different in person than online. so, kanye shrug. i guess it depends on the day. i don’t consider myself a ‘social’ person but i guess you have to suck it up Champ and Be Your Brand. lol
NY DOES have a perpetual soundtrack! it’s crazy.
and *dead* at Liz not wanting to be one of the ‘other chicks’. i’m scared to attend one of those now. i don’t need any pics of me showing up in the ‘look at all these desperate women’ twitpic. lol. wompwomp. i will definitely attend a VSB/VSS meet and greet though. now that’d be cool.
but as i said before, i’m convinced a VSB bbq would result in more hook-ups than a Modern Day Matchmaker event any day. and as Keisha Brown said, a few brilliant VSBabies too. lol.
**oh! so my friend sent a link to yesterday’s post to her MBA friend with all the good things to say about E.Lynn Harris’ novels… we just about DIED at his reaction to the responses to my off-topic question. “how am i gay for that? i mean, i think that makes me comfortable in my sexuality… doesn’t it?” lol. mean, i know.
but as i said before, i’m convinced a VSB bbq would result in more hook-ups than a Modern Day Matchmaker event any day. and as Keisha Brown said, a few brilliant VSBabies too
This kinda goes along with my post above about online personalities transitioning into real-life…although I’m sure the imaginary VSB bbq would guarantee some “interaction” just on gp, I wonder if the flirting and e-attraction that takes place virtually would continue if folks actually met in person. Intelligence and writing ability aside, once we step away from our keyboards, physical attraction is important as a mofo…just my 2 pennies.
you know, this is very true.
i was just speaking on it based on the amount of interaction that goes on, but you’re right. i wouldn’t be there to ‘meet’ anyone, but i think it’d be cool to see what came of what with other folks. lol. (i’m an eternal matchmaker … been hooking people up for years among my friends. lol)
Speaking of VSBabies, is there a VSBaby onesie at the VSB store? There should be. lol
@Cheekie, i actually do have a VSB onesie. a reader made it for me, Goodeness…man i miss her ’round these parts.
and you all know Cheekie wouldn’t be able to resist the coldest 3 on the planet. that’s why she always talking about how much she loves me.
AWWW @ the onesie. Yeah, where is Goodeness??
“that’s why she always talking about how much she loves me.”
You need glasses. Don’t worry. It’ll be a good look. They’re popular around here.
“i’ve met people who read my blog at different times who’ve told me i’m cooler than my online personality suggests, i’m exactly how they thought i’d be, or that i’m very different in person than online. so, kanye shrug. i guess it depends on the day”
yeah, even my girlfriend told me that when she first read the blog, she assumed i would be a bit more of an asshole in person. i dont know what about my writing screams “asshole”, but that was her impression
@Champ
yeah, i definitely thought you to be the asshole of VSB until PJ’s recent “f*ck you, f*ck them, and f*ck ERRYBODY that got a problem with
mike lowreyVSB!” post and hearing that last podcast.i think your sarcasm is much harsher than P’s, because you probably write/edit them to be so. he seems like he thinks as he types, like you said. lol.
@Muze, i feel like i should be offended but am not smart enough to figure out about what. but i got a feeling like the soul food staple singers.
Wait, Champie, your girlfriend read you blog before meeting you? Aw!
Also, co-sign Muze. Champ’s sarcasm is pretty acerbic so until P got gangsta (in the infamous post sealed it), I thought Champ was the harder one too at first.
Wait, Champie, your girlfriend read you blog before meeting you? Aw!
Are you playing?… Lol
(Or maybe I’ve been on vsb too long?… miss t-lee, tell I’m not the only one who peeped it…
)
@Sula,
Wait…*brainfreeze*
Now that you said something I remember something being nodded to about that. But, I don’t know specifics. DISH!
I think you’re right sula. I think you were around before I showed up though, so I could be wrong.
“Wait, Champie, your girlfriend read you blog before meeting you? Aw!”
well, i met her in a professional setting. we ending up being friends on facebook, and she found out about the blog through a link there (i think).
Oh, that. I remember now. Ok, nevermind. Carry on. Sula got me wondering if there was some subtle interaction going on. lol (or was there?)
@Cheekie,
Don’t let Champie get you off track…
@Sula,
Girl you betta fill me in!! Witcho cryptic comments…lol
@Cheekie,
It’s just that my spidey senses tell me that the gf might be a walking (typing?) amongst us… but then again I am known for talking about sh!t I know nothing about… so don’t mind me. Carry on.
@Cheekie, whats’ funny is that there is a “harder” between the two of us.
btw, i think my comment was 100 percent gay.
Hmm, I was actually thinkin’ Champ would put the percentage out there. But yeah, give or take 100 percent is valid.
“we all discussed how awkward the shift from “online persona” to “in-person” can be for us and our readers, and how difficult it can be to construct your words when speaking so that they have the same impact they usually do when they’re read.”
It’s like watching a movie based on a book. The book is always better. Don’t fret Young Champie…Just like great writers are often drones in real time, there are a million great speakers, comedians, entertainers who are completely flat on print. It goes both ways…just keep at it & find yo’ balance!
you know, i think in order to be a truly great writer, you have to be at least a little distant/awkward, if not completely nucking futs. like seriously, i cant think of one great writer who would also be considered “normal”.
@The Champ, did you just call me a sh*tty writer? cuz i’m pretty normal.
well as normal as one can be when they won’t go to sleep without every item in teh room being equidistant from the epicenter of the room. i also used that word wrong.
RECONVERSATE!
“you know, i think in order to be a truly great writer, you have to be at least a little distant/awkward, if not completely nucking futs. like seriously, i cant think of one great writer who would also be considered “normal”.”
Fact. People always compliment me on my dialogue when they read my screenplays. It’s because I’m pretty quiet unless around folks I’m comfortable with. And when you’re quiet, you can people-watch like a mofo. I’ve always been that way, even as a child. So, yeah, I may be a serial killer…
I’d love to read your screenplays…that is if you don’t kill me!
DM me yo email on Twitter, girl! I love anyone willing to read my sh*t.
I attended the event. Sad to say, my friends and I were disappointed. Like Liz said, the line was ridiculous…and we stood out there for damn near an hour. If I bought my ticket…this “VIP” ticket…why the hell I’m I out there w/ everybody else?
The event started EXTREMELY LATE…like damn near 2 hours late. The staff was rude and not helpful at all.
Champ, Belle, and the other bloggers get on the stage and I’m so happy…b/c this is who I came to see ya know? Well d@mnit if there aren’t 101 and side convos going on! I can barely hear The Champ and Belle actually (not in these same words) told ninjas to shut up. Not even 10 minutes later, the moderator had to request the same thing.
Good stuff… I hope this feedback reaches those who have the power to change future events. I could tell from the U-Stream it wasn’t the most put-together event. I can’t stand paying for stuff like “vip” when it really means squat.
@05girl
smh…they had screens in the room that weren’t even playing the live footage. sh!t just said “modern day matchmaker”…as if that’s helping me see who’s speaking.
I will never go to an event hosted by that Paul dude again. I went to a panel in April (Belle was there) and it was 100 times better. maybe b/c the crowd wasn’t as obnoxious…and the fact that they were on schedule.
So basically it was pretty much the same as it was in DC, during the “premier” show. they haven’t worked out any kinks so it seems.
Paul albeit not a slouch, isn’t exactly my ideal..he cool tho and I really enjoy his youtube vids/lessons/clips etc.
@Orange Star Happy Hunting
Heck no…all the kinks were there and in full effect! And I’m standing outside like I’m waiting to get into a club. That’s not even my steez! If I have to wait in line…I don’t go. Half the time those lines are for show….and this was no different. I was so mad…$25 for that! I could’ve gotten gas w/ that,lol
“So basically it was pretty much the same as it was in DC, during the “premier” show. they haven’t worked out any kinks so it seems”
I was going to say the same thing about the DC event. The event in DC started late as well. And at the after party there were alot of women. I spoke to the panel and then bounced.
The difference was that the event was held in a theater instead of a club. So there were no long lines outside. Inside the venue everyone was given free drinks while waiting.
@LaBakir,
That is good to know. I was stuck in B-more because of the weather last week and I wished I could have been there, but I glad I didn’t go. How have you been? I like what you wrote about “Power” by Kanye. He kinda came hard on the beat and his lyrics.
@ComicBookGuy
Yeah man, you didn’t miss a thing….except me :p
I’m chilling as always. Tired as heck…went bike riding for the first time in YEARS yesterday.
My favorite reader
Yes…Ye killed it. I had to find the clip from “X” b/c the chorus reminds me of the quote when Malcolm gets the crowd to disperse from in front of the hospital. And the cop says something like “that is too much power for one man”. Anywho…very similar to what Yeezy is saying…
@LaBakir,
I peeped that lyric. I think I first heard the song on AllHipHop and then Big Cap was spinning it on Shade 45 on Sunday. He is getting back to his infectious samples with that track and I love it. Funny, “Freddie’s Dead” came on my Ipod when I was typing my comment to you earlier.
@CBG @LaBakir
yesssss today is my hubby Kanye’s birthday, so i’ve been blasting ‘power’ all morning in my head. lol.
just read what you wrote… i have to make my way to your blog more often! and thanks for the linkage, i’ve added you to mine as well.
@LaBakir
aww man that sucks. i was disappointed i couldn’t be in NY, but now i see i didn’t miss much. oh well.
@Muze
LOL! I was looking for your fro (as if I would know it was really you). But yeah…mad womens…and some g@y menses too *sighs*
I could’ve kept my black @rse on the other side of the Hudson b/c nothing panned out properly
@LaBakir
LOL at looking for my fro. that is def the way to spot me. haha. …until i cut it shorter again soon. well, hopefully they’ll finally organize a VSB event and we can all meetup. $25 for some unorganized panel and 300 other chicks to look at though… wompwomp.
@Muze
wompwomp is right…smh.
And my lil cousin’s friend was visiting from FL. I felt bad…all the hype for nothing, lol
@Muze, oh please believe we’ll be taking donations for the VSB BBQ, cuz um…i KNOW you ninjas like to eat. and i aint rich. i just spent all my money on two bottles of Ace of Spades to impress a woman who forgot i existed.
roffle.
The band got there late, too. They were bringing their instruments in just as they were letting all of us in. I love going to concerts and events in NYC, but I’m getting really, really tired of having to wait 2+ hours past the time that’s listed for the events to start. The fact that most of the really good stuff happens here during the week means that you have to be on your feet for hours, and then get home dumb late and try not to be a zombie at work the next day.
Oh, and what about the police adn terror squad activity going on right across the street? I was afraid we were going to end up on the news, or something.
@Scipio Africanus
LMAO! Yes…the d@mn terror squad was there when I arrived and left!
I didn’t know the band was late too….smh. And you’re right…my girls left before me b/c the had to work in the AM, so they didn’t even see the panelist. After Champ spoke I exited stage left. At the point the after party was supposed to be goings on…me 2 stepping drink in hand…and the discussion is still popping. Not cool.
“Oh, and what about the police adn terror squad activity going on right across the street? I was afraid we were going to end up on the news, or something.”
wait, what?
While we were all waiting in line, there were mad police cars and vans and trucks right in front of the venue. They got out, had dogs, were putting on their vests and helmets like they were about to storm one of Saddam’s palaces. It lasted for a while. Maybe at least an hour.
See, I think maybe the rude doorman is really who threw me off. He really was pretty rude and like I said above, I didn’t feel like protesting. I’m an easygoing kind of girl. And truthfully, the line was only rough because it wrapped around the block almost, and it wasn’t moving (I was told doors would open at 8 and you needed to be in your seat by 8:20, and they were filling seats first then standing room). Keep in mind I showed up “late” at like 8:15pm so I assumed by the time I got in it would be standing room only. I felt bad that most of these people had paid for the event, so I didn’t blame them for waiting. I’d already spent 15 bucks in cab fare, so I am a bit pissed off about that, but whatevs. I would have come back for the afterparty to see Champ had it not looked like some foolishness with execution or staff, but it didn’t.
I’m just glad it wasn’t me who made these observations.
@Liz
YES! He was rude…and the woman handing out the wrist bands who told me to put it on myself…or the woman who told us “you can’t go in dere” as we went to take the seats we paid for (we had to wait downstairs b/c the main room wasn’t open yet).
I think we pretty much showed up a little after 8pm to a line that looked as if they were giving away Gucci bags. No reason my feet should be hurting in sandals…that’s how long we stood out there. If my friend wasn’t visiting from FL…my other girls and I would’ve definitely left.
i was gonna go (i’m from florida..) but had to cancel at the last minute.. i was bawlin my eyes out.. (come on, it’s NY) but God knows what He’s doing.. cuz yeah, i don’t deal with lines at free clubs.. much less something that i would’ve paid for..
hmm.. it makes me re-think the whole atlanta one.. but seeing as how i’ll use any excuse to get outta this heat box. maybe i’ll still make the trip..
@Nick_L_Odeon
Yeah, just take the trip…but be sure to have something else “fun” lined up. My girl came from FL specifically for that and I felt terrible.
Thank you for your honest feedback! It is really appreciated because it helps us get better. Trust me, we are listening, regrouping, and we have work ahead of us. Thank you for coming out though. Hopefully in the future when we have another show in your area- you’ll be able to see the improvements. As with anything new there are some kinks to work out. But my sincere apologies for what you endured with the whole line thing.
to commenters: please keep leaving honest constructive feedback. We use it, we read it, and we have dedicated ppl to be working on improving things.
Thanks to all who came out! We appreciate your support!
@Liz, well i don’t give a flying f*ck, if i’m ever in NY…ninja you KNOW where you’re gonna be. lol. then again, i wouldnt give you an option, i’d drag your ass in there anyway.
LOL. This is true.
*reading the reviews*
Dayum, that is too bad.
Hopefully they get feedback and fix up things accordingly. I mean, I can understand the kinks since he’s probably never done somethin’ like this before, but the rudeness of the staff as unnecessary and should be the FIRST thing to go.
I BE TELLIN’ Y’ALL IM NICE AND SH*T!
LOLerskates at Daria from Brownsville! Yes, I have been outed as a girly girl, but in the name of my street cred, I do want it known that I am good for the acerbic jokes as well. But I am glad I managed to balance out the “f*ck you and the sexist horse you came on” comments I make on the interwebs. It was a pleasure meeting you as well. I have now accomplished what Panama and Champ have not: met both the VSBs.
*back to lurking*
You look like a friend of mine. I relized I’ve seen you at a couple of events in the last month and a half, and each time I’m always about to tap you on the shoulder and be like “hey Kamaria, what’s up!” only to realize it’s this-girl-I-see-everywhere-and-now-know-is-sistah-toldja. I even saw you at the Fela thing last night, but I wasn’t giving up my spot on the side-wall thing for nothing.
@Scipio Africanus
What is FELA about?
@LaBakir
It’s a play about Fela Kuti. Fela’s music is the ish. His son performed here not to long ago.
@Humble_One
Thanks…my friend got tix through her job…so I’ll be going Thursday
I love her job..lmao…I always reap the benefits of her getting tix for events
It seemed like the dudes all got there late. I was one of maybe 10 guys waiting in line beforehand with every nice-looking black woman under 32 this side of Fort Ticonderoga. Unfortunately I had a wedding to go to the next day and left before the party got started. I thought the wedding was early in the day, not realizing it didn’t start until 6 PM. I could have stayed. I don’t think I’ll ever stop kicking myslef over that one.
But I very much noticed that the women panelists seemed to be almost performing Wilsonian dialogue while the guy panelists were borderline sedate.
As soon as the British young lady started talking I was scheming, trying to figure out what I’d have to do to get her number.
My one problem with the skit with the young lady and the guy with the smedium skinny jeans on was that the girl had no flaws to be “explained” away. She was sort of “perfect”. But I get it, they know that women are the main audience for these events, so that’s why it had to be that way.
@Scipio Africanus
The guy in the smedium skinny jeans (lmao), Kazi…put on a d@mn good event in Brooklyn…like 2 months ago. They should’ve let him plan this one. Malik Yoba and Egypt were the hosts. Very good stuff.
Damnit!! I missed Malik Yoba. :/ Champ should bring Malik to PGH for his show.
“My one problem with the skit with the young lady and the guy with the smedium skinny jeans on was that the girl had no flaws to be “explained” away. She was sort of “perfect””
good point.
btw, that skit was pretty good. i enjoyed it.
Why can’t these events come down to ATL!? I’m outta the loop when it comes to these things. I could definitely benefit from that male to female ratio.
Also, I understand what you mean about meshing the two worlds. I’m a writer, and when I started to date a woman I met online, there was a lot of pressure when we did converse face-to-face. She was a freelance/blogger as well. It’s a difficult beast to tackle because so often when I write, my words are purges of congested, nagging thoughts. It’s not on the daily “relate to another human” kinda level.
The two worlds are really two different people loosely tied to one another. That’s my thought on it. Hmm…
it is coming to Atlanta.. in august..
i think your sentence should’ve really been “why can’t it come to florida..”
i get it though.. las personas negra no hablamos espanol…
that’s pretty much the way it is….
i’m not sure sra. sotolongo would’ve been proud of that sentence right there…
@Nick_L_Odeon
Hablamos means “we speak”. It should be used alone or with the pronoun Nosotros (we).
I (think) it should be “Las Personas negras HABLAN” because it’s as if you are using the pronoun they, as in “they speak”.
*shrug* iono
thankyouberrymucho..
yeah.. and THAT’S why i got the “f” in spanish.. funny thing is i went to a magnet school to learn it..
but when you don’t practice it…. you know..
@ATL-Bax- there is an event coming to ATL. It’s hitting most major cities. Just keep a lookout as I’m sure we’ll be mentioning the events here since Champ has done work with Paul various times now.
welcome and sh*t
Man, as one of the few dudes there, this event was jumpin for a single man. Half way through the event I called my ppl to play the let out. Champ, I didnt get to meet you, my bad. Next time in NY we’ll link.
UStream stole my shine and ruined my interview
Good luck. Last time Champ was in NYC it was 1975.
Ustream stole your shine, but it didn’t steal your smile!!
AWWW….
lol, word. Peyso has the best smile in the internets.
I think we should have a matchmaking event in DC….(hmmm)
***side note…who has a picture of this ‘slim jackson’ dude
@Jai – they already had an event in DC back in March. now its roaming the country.
then we should have an official unofficial VSB meet and greet in DC. I think it would be fun to meet some of the people who give me a good laugh on a daily
Jai where you been? We’ve had at least one of those before too lol. We might get more DC stuff poppin off again.
I’m late…I’ve only been a VSS for about a month. I am great at organizing events (I’m lying…I’m better at showing up late, hitting up the bar, and inebriately watch people) so I would love to put something together as long as at least 15 people show (thirsty parched folks are welcomed)!
LOL sounds like a plan! If we do any events anywhere, DC is usually the first place. Matter fact if the VSB BBQ ever goes down, it will prolly be in DC. Stay tuned!
…everytime someone mentions BBQ I go back to a previous comment from someone who mentioned ‘grilled chitlings’ (mute)….
@Liz
Why DC instead of Pittsburgh?
Because nobody goes to Pittsburgh.
@Jai – don’t worry. i actually do plan on throwing an event or two in DC this summer once i get some personal stuff taken care of.
YESSSSSSSS, I can’t wait for the next event!!!!
I’m still fairly new to VSB so I’ve missed the prior DC events
Ya’ll are a part of my daily routine so I need to start putting names/faces/voices together.
@ panama, is the event only for DC or are you planning for other areas?
@coldsweat–I miss Atlanta so much….Cincinnati women just aren’t the same caliber. Slim pickins.
My work spouse and I were talking bout how dating in Ohio for non-Ohiohans leaves much to be desired. We’re in Columbus and it says a lot when we believe that Cincy has better options.
We’re in Columbus and it says a lot when we believe that Cincy has better options
i thought columbus had a bunch of black people there? i have friends here who speak about the black community in columbus like its utopia
I’m in law school here in Columbus. Cincinnati for undergrad. Its what you make it. Maybe I just make things happen. *Satisfied shrug*
I was there Thursday supporting one of my besties, Sister Toldja. (Champ, that was really sweet what you said of her! She’s a great person.) Similar to Liz, this wasn’t my scene at all, but gotta support the homies. The women there were…desperate…not all, but most. The young lady sitting next to me pitched a fit because the panel discussed relationships more than dating and meeting men. The women in attendance weren’t at the point where they are having relationship issues. They are still in the meeting stages. Instead of listening to the conclusion of the panel, her and her homegirls rearranged their chairs into a circle and started discussing dating.
Another woman who was married stopped this guy who was walking by and said, “Hi, this is my friend Tara. She came here expecting to meet men and it aint happening. Can you sit and chat with her?”
Chicks were trying to get chose.
The current atmosphere is a breeding ground for desperation, from the grim stats to the media blast etc etc but what folk need to know and live by is FAITH honey and “walking alone takes some FAITH”, not give in to desperation which leads to bad judgement, acting out of character, acting on fear etc etc.. because even if you never marry, you can have a great and full life.
Lord knows I feel like Al some days “so tired of being alone”, but what I am not gonna do, is play myself honey out of desperation fear or any of that, I am going to keep living, upright @ that..LOL.
@Orange Star Happy Hunting
PREACH! “It” ain’t that serious. People need to learn themselves…how to be alone…which doesn’t equate to being lonely. I think many people can barely put up w/ themselves…so they seek to constantly be in the presence of others or relationships.
Tell ‘em! No Soulja Boy.
LMAO You kill me, Cheeks.
@ Orange Star Happy Hunting
Agreed!
@Bailey
“Hi, this is my friend Tara. She came here expecting to meet men and it aint happening. Can you sit and chat with her?”
WOW!!!! I have no words.
Yeah, ain’t that some sh*t?? lol Wow…
WOW!
I think part of the issue is that it’s billed as “Modern Day Matchmaker Live.” So the title sounds like a matchmaking event. When in reality it sounds more like a panel on dating and relationships.
I love Paul’s videos as much as the next one, but I’d much rather be matched with a guy of Paul’s caliber than sit through a panel to hear the same things I read about on the internets everyday.
Oh, and the couple in the above picture? I’ve been staring at them for the last two years every time I log onto Blackpeoplemeet. I feel like they’re my friends now.
LMAO
Most important question is what are you doing doing on Blackpeoplemeet??
i’m not gonna lie.. i thought about that too..
Back before all the decent women decided to flee off the site (seriously, it’s like a call went out to all the women of any substance to just bounce all at once – about a year and a half ago) I used to date off it. Met some really nice girls there and got quasi serious with one. Nowadays, when you run a search for women 26 – 34, no children, with a degree in the NYC area you come up with maybe 15 profiles. And this is *for New York City!* ALL the rest on that site have children. The types of women that were at the Matchmaker event are clearly boycotting BPM.
I just log on out fo habit now. I haven’t met anyone worth talking to on there in about a year.
And a tremendous LOL at Kevin Powell’s blatant, incongruous, and unrelated pitch for his congressional run right in the middle of the panel discussion. I know Paul had to have been embarrased that he did that.
@Scipio Africanus
he definitely gotta “this ninja” look for that.
HEY MAN… I SERIOUSLY TAKE OFFENSE TO NY BEING FILLED WITH DUMBASS DUDES. TRUE I AM A DUDE, AND I AM IN DEED A DUMBASS… IT”S JUST SOMETHING ABOUT SEEING IT IN PRINT LIKE THAT!!!
AND EVERYTHING SOUNDS SMARTER WITH A BRITISH ACCENT???? MAYBE THAT’S WHERE I BEEN GOING WRONG. I USUALLY DO MY OLD SLAVE ACCENT. I GUESS THAT’S WHY I NEVER GET A CALL BACK.
HMNHHHHH?????
*tries to repair eardrum*
@Brettandthecity, yo son, why you yellin’?
you’re at a 10 and we need you at a 2. NO BOILER ROOM!
I bet the All-Caps were done in honor of Kanye Titter’s birfday, right? Clever…
@Cheekie, if it was, i take back my comment, apologize, and say he is indeed very clever like a motherf*cker.
This event sounds like it was a wonderful time (esp the ratio).
Now, when will these matchmaker/relationship discussion panels be hosted in Boston?
Yeah, yeah, I know…who am I kidding. But a brotha can dream, can’t he? *sigh*
You live in Southie?
@MrSoBo, if you look on his site, and I believe Slim Jackson’s site has most of the details, you’ll see there’s one scheduled for Boston.
man, i feel like i’m doing free promo for MDM and Paul. that’s okay, Paul’s a really nice guy. LOL
When in the VSB BBQ?
I have been in hyper-ratioed situations, and it actually makes holleration very difficult because your movements will be noticed by everyone quarry or non-quarry. Women seem to hate nothing more than the guy who shamelessly hollers at several women in a night.
@Dash, – we randomly discuss this mythical VSB BBQ every so often, we want it to happen. we just suck at planning.
hell it took 6 months to get the podcasts back up. and all we do is talk.
but its coming.
mmhmm.
I know this is pointless to ask, but will you guys be having any seminars close to Arkansas? #notachance We need love too. :’(
bless your heart
I don’t know what it is about me, but gravatar doesn’t like me very much. I’ve been trying to change my picture for over a week and it says that the new one is the main pic on gravatat but when I comment I still see the first one. *sigh* I give up.
*back to the topic at hand*
@TheOpinionated1
It hates me! I’ve been trying for months to change it…and I still see that same pic!
@LaBakir
LOL, good to know that i’m not the only person that it hates! well…maybe the other pic will appear one day. I should just delete the 1st one then they will have no choice but to show the new one. Hmmmmmmm
I’ve had that problem…only it just took one day for mine to change. I went back after waiting awhile for it to change it hit “make primary picture” (or whatever it says) again…not sure if that did it, but the new pic showed up the next day.
I tried that…IDK…guess I’ll try one more time.
:-O It finally changed!!! GTFOH I can’t believe it! *LOL smiley face*
Wait is that the one? Because I’ve been seeing that avatar for days.
Cute, by the way.
@Cheekie Yes it is! I was wondering if it was possible that it was showing you guys this one! (with the pink shirt on) Hmmmmmmmmmmmm WTF is wrong with gravatar? LOL Thanks Cheekie for the compliment ^_^
@LaBakir I wonder it it’s showing us the one you changed it to but you’re still seeing the other one. In this pic you have on a gray shirt.
@TheOpinionated1
That’s definitely what’s happening b/c I’m seeing my old photo.
@Opinionated1,
Yup, pink shirt.
And I see LaBakir’s gray shirt too.
Gravatar be playin baldheaded games with us!
LMAO Too funny
Gravatar=FAIL
“4. saying “hey, dumbasses, don’t listen to me or anyone else on the panel” probably isn’t the best thing to do in a roomful of people who paid 25 dollars to hear you and everyone else on the panel speak.
i won’t go into too much detail, but lets just say that my (paraphrasing) “hey, the problem with us (black people) is that we spend too much time listening to relationship experts” comment went over about as well as a fart on a submarine.”
I kinda wish you’d go into a little bit more detail…lol.
I can imagine that not going well with the group, but I definitely think you have a valid point. It’s good to come off as “not trying to be a know-it-all-here, this just my perspective” because it makes me respect you more. Maybe folks are just more comfy with gurus? *kanyeshrug*
“Maybe folks are just more comfy with gurus? *kanyeshrug*”
i think so, because it removes personal accountability. if a “guru” tells you something and it doesn’t go the way you planned, you can always blame the guru
Hmm. True.
But really, when you said that, did you get any verbal protest or just the really awkward silence. I don’t know which one is worse, frankly…
question: what size do yall make your gravatars so they’re not all blurry and gross looking like mine? i have too many different avatars floating around. i need to get my life on one accord. lol.
I make mine the maximum size, not sure if it affects the blurriness or not, but yours doesn’t seem blurry to me…I LOVE your pic tho, Muze. Maybe it’s because it’s black and white and I love Black and white pics. No Illuminati. But also, your hair is fierce.
@Cheekie
aw shucks. thanks!
maybe it only looks blurry to me then. everyone else’s is so clear and brutiful and on my laptop i just have a blob of a face. lol. oh well.lol
and re: black and white pics… since my ex was a photographer, i pretty much learned all the ins and outs of photography without paying for the schooling, and i started shooting folks (no columbine) and became purty darn good. my big flaw is that i think everything looks better in black and white! lmbo. i really need to get over that. but i always have a black and white, and a color version of evvvvery pic. lol.
I agree everyone looks better in B/W pics!
” i need to get my life on one accord. lol.”
I’m sorry but this was hilarious to me. *snickers*
I must be one of the few bloggers who prefers to do spoken events to the actual writing. I love writing, don’t get me wrong, but my writing and my speech is pretty much one and the same like Champ said. If you have a convo with me in person, it’s just like reading what I write.
I suppose the other part can be that when I take those extravert vs introvert tests, i always score 100 percent on the extrovert side. you see how i spelled the same word differently in the same sentece? that’s cuz i dont know how to spell it. but i’m gon’ let it gentrify.
i will say, i’ve often been surprised at how many folks online personas don’t match up with their in-person persona. not that it aint legit or they’re not cool or fun or whatever, but there’s a certain quietness a lot of people have upon first meeting somebody in general that i dont associate with people who make it a point to write and be exposed and sometimes be obnoxious.
hell, my first comment to most folks i meet via VSB is “LET’S TAKE A SHOT!” lol.
anyway, its just curios to me that so many folks actually do concern themselves with it since i’m the total opposite and don’t have stage fright (i used to be a thespian, or since i’m black, a blespian, i suppose) and i love talking (sh*t).
Good points, folk. But I actually think you may be more of the exception (persona-wise, at least) than the rule. I think many writers, professional or otherwise, use writing as a form of release and/or escapism…you get to let everything out that you may not ever get a chance to verbally express…you can have an audience without having to stare at faces, in other words. Some writers aren’t comfortable with expressing their thoughts verbally…others simply don’t know how. As VSB gains more notoriety, I’m sure you’ll get more requests (speaking engagements, panel discussions, etc.) to be VSBs in person, not just online. As long as you still spittin truths and common sense in real life, I don’t think either one of you has anything to worry about.
Regardless, I’m glad to see that the VSB brand is growing. As Avon would say, being concerned about your in-person persona is one of those “good problems to have”
anyway, its just curios to me that so many folks actually do concern themselves with it since i’m the total opposite and don’t have stage fright (i used to be a thespian, or since i’m black, a blespian, i suppose) and i love talking (sh*t).
you know whats interesting? i have no problem speaking in front of a classroom full of 30 namond brices, and i’ve played ball in arenas in front of 35,000 people and didnt break a sweat, but neither situation made me as anxious as the panel did.
I’m lovin’ how today’s comment thread is a montage of The Wire series…
“hell, my first comment to most folks i meet via VSB is “LET’S TAKE A SHOT!” ”
For this, I think I hate you a little less, Panda. Best first-sentence- upon-meeting-someone evah.
Panama, I am sure you are one of the very few extrovert bloggers… Writing is often easier for introverts… The (very)few people who met me when I actually wrote on my blog were surprised that I am pretty outgoing and that I talk A LOT. Lol… For some reasons, talkers don’t often write and vice versa..
Panama I agree with what you said here whole-heartedly. When you love to talk then I think it’s just easier to express yourself no matter how large or small the audience. People that connect with people don’t have a hard time connecting with people lmaooooo. Taking a shot for a first encounter especially meeting via VSB is a good way to take the edge off of an encounter that I would imagine is like blind meeting vs dating. Blogging is new to me and I can already see that when the content is something that I’m passionate about…I go in.
I simply cannot wait for the Chicago event! The people watching will be epic – colorful suits and hairhats for everyone! However, I’m not sure that the ratio of women to men will be any better. Once you rule out the Charlie Wilsons and UrbanChattinest ninjas, there will be slim pickins indeed. Only BMore has us beat in that dept.
i think detroit can give you a run for your money
“i think detroit can give you a run for your money”
RIGHT!!!!
@Champ
Chicago has Detroit beat. Detroit could never make a Bishop Don “Magic” Juan.
Or Chicago Larry.
” Heeyyy Babbby Gurrrl, how’s my pretty babbby guuurrll” *shivers*
And her accent made me wanna kick babies.
@Panama
Thanks. I’ll look into that.
@Dash
“I have been in hyper-ratioed situations, and it actually makes holleration very difficult because your movements will be noticed by everyone quarry or non-quarry. ”
You aint lying bro. There is nothing worse than knowing that you are under the microscope in a room full of women. It’s like the very moment you decide to make a move, (in eerily creepy voice) theeyyyy knoooowww. After that one attempt, you might as well pack up and head home for the night, ’cause you’re DONE SON. Straight blacklisted. And what’s sad that it doesnt even matter if you got the digits or not. Those situations will Opie Cunningham your @ss. (i.e., leave you with both hands in your pockets, head hung low, while murmurring “awe shucks” to yourself as you kick rocks back to the dimly lit corner from which you emerged). So choose wisely.
When I am ever in one of these situations, I flirt during the event. I wait until the event is over to attempt to close the deals, and engineer randomish “bump intos’ at the coat check, restrooms, and in the parking lot. This can double or triple the amount of successful hollers you have that night.
I’ve actually never commented on here before though I’ve been reading it for about 4 months now. I’m a wire diehard fan too and my entire work day would be made if you dedicated an entire blog post to wire quotes for every situation. Three is not enough!!
welcome and sh*t, and way to come through with a great idea for a friday
yay! how exciting!
*gotta figure out how to get a panel in tdot. schemes and strokes imaginary goatee…
will comment more. work calls. and by work i mean avoiding doing any work while still pretending to work. ha!
you probably shouldn’t say anything about goatees when you have an avatar of a woman’s lips. kind of f*cks with the mind
Sounds like you had an interesting time in NYC, Champ. Wish I could have been there. Last week was really my first time working on the East Coast and it looks like I better get used to it. It’s cool that you don’t see yourself as a relationship expert. You’re a just regular guy that has probably had his ups and downs in relationships and you just give advice based on that, which is why people may take heed to it. I do find it odd that men don’t go to more stuff like this, especially when it is well known that there are going to be a lot of women there. I used to do it in college all the time. My and my boy would roll to poetry readings all the time and spit some of our poetry, knowing we would get the “awww, how sweet” from the women there. A better example would be my junior year, when the AKAs hosted Michael Baisden. I had just seem him on “Oh Drama” on BET the semester before and saw how he p!ssed off every woman in the audience. Having him on an HBCU p!ssing of large room of women was going to be a sight to see. When I got there, there were beautiful women everywhere, AKAs and prospects who wanted to show their faces. It was me and only two other guys, an Alpha I was cool with and a dude that was kind of a fruit. I tried to get my boys to come but they were not talking about it. Needless to say, I made a few friends that night and I wasn’t really trying to holler at them. I knew I didn’t have a chance anyway, but hey, when you try to represent the exact opposite of what Michael Baisden was presenting, it seemed pretty easy to make friends in a room full of p!ssed off women. Plus, I like talking to women. Comes pretty easy.
A better example would be my junior year, when the AKAs hosted Michael Baisden. I had just seem him on “Oh Drama” on BET the semester before and saw how he p!ssed off every woman in the audience.
what did he say?
He talked about having two women and them both knowing about each other and that it was a mutual thing between the three of them. He talked about how and why men cheat and how women have just as much to with as men do. Boy, he was ruffling more feathers than a chicken farmer. His book Never Satisfied is a pretty interesting book about how cheating is really deeper than just wanting to have sex but he explores the factors that usually lead to you, for men and women.
@CBG “Boy, he was ruffling more feathers than a chicken farmer.”
In case I was wondering if you were truly a country boy this sealed it! I can’t believe you were trapped in B-more and I didn’t get to make your acquaintance. I’m crestfallen
As for Michael Baisden, he is NOT the baddest man on the rado and I can’t stand him! I’m convinced that he’s dedicated his life to making a living off of being contrary. People who try to be sensational and controversial are sad and need to take a seat, in the corner, in the dark…ugh!
“Rado” should’ve been “radio”. He vexes me so badly that I forgot to proof-read before I hit submit.
Michae Baisden is an azz who is just looking for attention. You know half the stuff he talks about is nothing more than some ‘fragglenaggle bs’
@MsEsquire77,
I feel the same way about Baisden. He makes me want to listen to Ryan Seacrest.
*random Wire quote since everyone else is doing it and I haven’t said sh*t else today.*
“Snot Boogie always stole the money,why’d you let him play”"
“You got to. This is America, man.”
I find him to be a pompus ass…he tries to be inflamatory with regurgitated topics but spews a bunch of idioctic reckless bullsh*t…the danger in that, is alot of folks don’t think for self, can’t think critically for self in search of truth, and thus allow themselves to be programmed by fools with agendas or just plain fools.
@MsEsquire77,
Would have been nice to make your acquaintance, ma’am. I love that you said this: People who try to be sensational and controversial are sad and need to take a seat, in the corner, in the dark…ugh!
what did he say?
@ The Champ, Michael Baisden would talk about how black women had a tough time being alone. He talked about single women being single because they have baggae and tons of other stuff. I actually agreed with him, but he did piss of a lot of women tho.
me and Michael Baisden should never meet in a dark alley..
cuz i carry my shank and my shiv..
Don’t f*** with Nick!
I know, man. I try to stay on her good side. I am barely getting by. lol
@ Nick-tells us how you really feel LOL
@everyone..
lol.. yeah, it’s pretty bad.. i wonder if the fact that i’m talkin about shanks and shivs has more to do with my being a tomboy.. or the fact that i’m jamaican…
*strokes invisible beard.. while lookin for heineken bottle)*
i’m SO politically incorrect.. i don’t need ya’ll to tell me..
@jai.. your avatar SLAYS ME… buffy
*coffin*
when i saw the last one, i was like “please tell me she don’t look like ms peachez..”
Hi Champ,
I was compelled to comment because I have been “lurking” on the site for the past week. A theory as two why people don’t comment:
The regulars seem like pretty talented writers. Not saying that us lurkers should shrink from commenting due to intimidation or that the regulars would support even being characterized as anything but welcoming, but that’s a likely reality.
good points. welcome and sh*t, btw
“A theory as two why people don’t comment:”
Revision: A theory as to why people don’t comment
I really wish I would have attended this event. I respect the “Together Apart Convo Series”, on a whole and this event to me would have proven to be insightful if nothing more. I fine generally more woman show up and quite frankly I think that’s a good thing. The last thing real women, looking for real meaningful relationships want are men showing up for a titt and ass fest. Champ, I’m glad to hear that your overall experience was positive. I chuckled when you said, “three rum and cokes” before speaking to large groups. It definitely is a lot easier to make a point in writing. I appreciate all of you who attended because these relationship dialogs inform us and I also believe they make us aspire for more. Thank you.
thank you, barbara. welcome and sh*t, btw
I am definitely a “regular lurker”……..by the time I get to the post it has about 1 zillion comments……..so I just go on to the archives
But I absolutely LOVE the site!
aw thanks! Don’t let Champ peer pressure you into commenting. it’s okay to lurk. I’ve been lurking on the internets for over a decade and look at me now! lolol,
“I’ve been lurking on the internets for over a decade and look at me now! lolol”
lol, was this supposed to be encouragement? this reads like the end of the worst afterschool special ever
You obviously have not seen nearly enough afterschool specials (read: You, Your body and Tang, et al).
its Liz! no pressure just wanted to “show my face” but I will be back in the bushes soon. LOL
thanks chefgirl.
you’re not related to raekwon from the wu, are you? (because of the whole chef thing. wait, nevermind. forgot i asked)
Raekwon is my half cousin on my step daddy’s side……oh wait ….no scratch that. I am actually a chef.
What did I learn? That I’m clearly missing out on these MDM events, and that I need to fix my wireless connection so I can see the Ustream a lot better this time.
Just for that, I might just hop on a train to Chicago for the event next month. Although I’m still at war with Amtrak. They hate me. Chicago does, too.
I found my Gravatar! *cues celebratory booty dance*
@The Champ–i thought columbus had a bunch of black people there? i have friends here who speak about the black community in columbus like its utopia.
I’d heard the same thing which is why I moved here. Now I’m stuck for awhile. I aint takng nobody else’s bar exam.
99% of the people whom I’ve met here are from other places. And most don’t particularly like it here. I guess it would be different if I’d grown up here. It says a lot though that your Columbus don’t live here anymore.
“this “problem” isn’t unique. most people who consider themselves to be writers and/or introverts tend to be somewhat underwhelming public speakers” —> writer girl/introvert here agrees wholeheartedly. I’m still relatively surprised that people actually find me funny in real life.
I attended the event with a friend, and I’m sorry to say that we left early. I would have liked the opportunity to meet and mingle, but we were frustrated by the late entry, the staff (who seemed confused as hell as to what was going on when we got there), and we wanted to see more of you! (and Belle, etc.) That’s not your fault of course, but I am glad that I finally got to see one of my favorite bloggers in real life, even if I didn’t get a chance to speak to you.
Pacific time makes me late on the comment – but Champ aka “Leroy,” you did bless the audience with the old school game that you laid down extra tight. Keep the good thoughts flowing – you’re definitely my go-to panelist for insight. I thought the event was great – and I’m not sure that the reports about the ratio are exactly accurate. Next time, ladies come hang out with me because I definitely met some very attractive and interesting men – I know I hooked at least two Girlfriends up with a third possible!
Since the serious conversation is overrated, i’ll share some entertainment for the day, http://www.vibe.com/posts/slim-thug-black-women-need-stand-their-man-more. I was offended for a nano second and then decided to laugh. I mean… it’s slim thug.
When will there be a meetup group? (Or is there one that I don’t know about)
Great blog btw.. Been lurking for about a month on and off.. and I’m hooked!
Love this post.
FYI, Im a lurker and this is my first time commenting. Im fairly new to your blog a couple of months, but I read every single post that comes across my email or my FB page. I love it!
Kay Bee
@ #9 Champ, I have come out of the lurkers closet. [red carpet rolls out]
Just Saw this.. Been in the e-trenches all week as my secret identity clashes with my real life persona…lol
Good lookin on the shoutout son. Good job at the panel too. Didn’t get to meet you but there shall be other times.
Spot on with you’re 10 points. THere’s no place like NYC!
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