Lists, Pop Culture

10 Tattoo Ideas For Chris Brown Better Than Rihanna’s February 2009 Face

Starting at the top, I do not believe that Chris Brown tatted the face of a battered woman on his body. Or his neck.

Keep up.

However, I do understand why somebody might think that he’s crazy enough to do so. See, Chris Brown has reached that rare space where if something crazy happens and he’s in the vicinity, there’s probably a better than 50 percent change he’s responsible. Or if something outwardly stupid occurs, and it involves him, it’s highly likely that its intentional or at least not unintentional.

For instance, if you are walking down the street and a chair comes flying out of a window, and two minutes later you see Breezy dance out of the buildling, well, if you assumed he is the one who threw the chair nobody would really dispute or disagree with that conclusion. Or let’s just say that he gets a tattoo that resembles the face of a battered woman – you know, something he’s familiar with – even if it isn’t supposed to be a battered woman, well, assuming that Chris Brown might be dumb enough to get a tattoo that unintentionally resembles the face of the woman he laid his hands on seems totally inbounds, therefore he got a tattoo of a battered woman. Even Mike Tyson would wince at that. You know, hypothetically speaking. In fact, Chris Brown enjoys company with only Ron Artest and Mike Tyson in this club for folks who actually do sh*t that while absolutely insane, seems like just another day at the office. I’m not sure if Chris is proud of bothered by this. Probably a bit of both.

Let’s just say, if Chris Brown walked out on stage holding a wang and a bong and said he was supporting the cause of hermaphrodite tadpoles by discouraging the use of latex mirrors, I wouldn’t even bat an eye.

With that being said, Chris Brown’s biggest problem here is his handlers. So I’m going to officially throw my hat in the ring to be his new Tattoo Czar. He’s got quite the collection already and is obviously hellbent on adding new interesting and questionably tattoos, so I figure that I’ll give him some ideas for tats that will be no less attention-worthy, but won’t really make him look like a deranged d*ck either.

Such as?

Such as…

1. Big Bird f*cking Snuffleupagus

Let’s be real, we’ve all thought it happened anyway. Either way this tat would be both playful and ridiculous and tackle an age old question: are Sesame Street characters asexual?

2. An old woman smoking weed with sunglasses on

This could be in support of medical marijuana usage in California and soon-to-be nationwide! This way he is supporting the AARP set AND the stoner set. This can’t possibly piss anybody off.

3. A white person wearing a Black Panther shirt

This could be one of those big tats that he could show off at concerts in attempts to promote racial harmony and unity. And what’s better than racial harmoney and unity?

Glad you asked…

4. Tupac in a wheelchair coming out the courthouse before going upstate

You know, the iconic photo of ‘Pac. Well, that’s somebody in pain, but nobody would think twice about that. Well, I mean tattin’ ‘Pac on your body is something The Game or Nas would do actually, but still, Chris Brown could tat that in the name of vulnerability or artists who are misunderstood and who do misunderstood sh*t.

5. Beyonce

Though this may definitely cause problems in his own household considering his new chick must absolutely hate Rihanna…so wait, that might be a win actually because Ri-Ri’s natural enemy is Beyonce! Though, he definitely would never be able to smang Rihanna again despite every attempt those two seem to be making to get back together. And he soooooo wants to smang her again.

6. Aaliyah

I mean, Drake has pretty much cornered the market on Aaliyah standom…or has he? After the whole bottle incident that Kevin Hart TOTALLY BOMBED at the VMAs, wouldn’t it just be kind of sneaky good to one up Drake with an Aaliyah tat as well? Not some retarded fill in of the dates either, but like a tat that was a .gif of Aaliyah rocking the boat? I see potential here.

7. A six-pointed pentagram

What? It ain’t like I said a 3-angled rhombus.Seriously, when was the last time you read a blog and saw the word rhombus?

8. Coca-Cola

Since he’s no stranger to odd-ball behavior, being the first rapper to sell skin as ad space might be a good move for him. Plus, that would put him in direct competition with all the famous folks hawking Pepsi. Kanye, Chris is coming for you.

9. An oddly resembling Kim Kardashian face

Talk about your convo starter. It could start a cat fight between he, Kanye West, Kris Jenner, and Kris Humphries. By the way, I know we think Chris is kind of loopy, but is there any doubt that he’d whip Kanye’s ass in a fight? Doubt it.

10. His own face

Not sure how popular this was every where else, but we had this tragic era in Atlanta of people tatting their names in cursive on their arms. Yes. Their own names. Well, what if he big leagued everybody and tatted his own face on his neck? I believe Marlon said it best when he sang in harmony with his brothers, “can you feel it?” I think you can.

So what do you think? Is Chris Brown crazy enough to tat a picture of a battered woman on his person? And how’d I do as his Tattoo Czar? And what OTHER tats do you think Chris Brown should have considered instead of the one he chose?

Talk to me.


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Panama Jackson

Panama Jackson is pretty fly (and gorgeous) for a light guy. He used to ship his frito to Tito in the District, but shipping prices increased so he moved there to save money. He refuses to eat cocaine chicken. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. Most importantly, he believes the children are our future. You can hit him on his hitter at

  • 1 – I don’t buy that ‘Day of the Daed’ shullbit. He knows what people would think

    2 – I think he should have gotten a non-battered picture of Rihanna tatted on him., and YOLO tattooed underneath it

    • Keisha

      2. Definitely would have gotten a better reaction…especially after Ri Ri’s public confession of love for him….

    • Tes

      #2 – I concur.

    • Royale W. Cheese

      BOL @ #2

      • JessicaL


    • Huh Bruh

      See, THAT’S what Chad Johnson’s leg was missing.

  • Keisha

    How does something like that even happen???

    Breezy: I think I want to get a picture of a battered woman’s face on my neck
    Friends: That’s gonna be dope! (do ppl still use that word?)

    Most ppl who get tattoos run their idea by at least one person before they go through with it. He doesn’t need more people, just better people.

    • Tes

      I use “dope” at least once a day; and I agree, he either needs better people or smarter people on his team. Cause uh…that “Day of The Dead?” He needs more people.

      • Keisha

        Cool! I didn’t want to lose my street cred by using an outdated term… ;-)

        As creative as Chris and his team are, I was disappointed in the whole DoTD nonsense. They should’ve taken a bit more time to come up with something that made more sense…then again, they may have realized that no amount of time was gonna help them explain… :-/

      • Jay

        So do I. Popular in the 80’s, enjoyed a resurgence in the early aughts, and just obscure enough now for my taste.

      • That Ugly Kid

        Using the word “dope” is fine. However, I was taken aback by the fact my bestfriend still uses the word “salty”. I definitely explained to her why she ain’t sh!t that day.

        • Neen

          What about “sike”?

          • demondog06

            or when in agreement with someone “i’m hip”

            • Yoles

              i use “salty” “sike” and “im hip”… :( oh boy

    • When you read Chris Brown’s twitter, it’s clear he has no people (or he wouldn’t HAVE a twitter) If you read his mom’s Twitter, absolutely NOTHING Breezy does would surprise you.

      • Keisha

        Do any of these “artists” have normal mamas?

        • Val

          I think Kanye’s mom was pretty normal.

          • Iceprincess

            @val- She couldnt have been all that normal to be getting multiple plastic surgeries. There was an issue there ijs….RIP Donda West.

          • Val

            @IP & Todd

            Okay, I stand corrected. I Saw a couple of interviews she did with Kanye and she seemed normal. Lol

        • Well, she was a battered woman who thought it was a good idea to send her teenaged son to live with a single woman old enough to be his mama hundreds of miles away in New York.

          Yeah, completely normal. :)

      • msdebbs

        “If you read his mom’s Twitter, absolutely NOTHING Breezy does would surprise you”

        This is so sad. He never had a chance since is moms isn’t that bright either.

        • She said MJ died so CB could take his place. So fck her.

          • African Mami

            LMAO!! Is she okay upstairs?! She needs her own show from the look of thangs I’m reading on here today!!

            • I doubt it. Having her head bounced off walls by Chris’s step-daddy knocked some important things loose it seems.

              • African Mami

                *DEAD* @ TAC

                Stopppp irr!

          • African Mami

            LMAO!! Is she okay upstairs?! She needs her own show from the look of thangs I’m reading on here today!!

          • Iceprincess

            She said that?? Omg what an egomaniacal LOON.

          • Wow…yeah. Chris Breezy didn’t have a chance.

            Fun fact: the director of alumni relations at my high school is a heavy-set Black guy named…Chris Brown. Every time he sends stuff out, I almost delete it thinking it’s spam. And coming up in a few weeks is my 15th anniversary HS reunion. LOL

    • <– has "DOPE" on a T-shirt but I digress

      Breezy needs a big brother or a better team around him, between 87% of his tweets, the blonde hair, the nose ring, the rap career he's surrounded by Yes men, hopefully he doesn't start getting MJ weird in his 30s

    • demondog06

      i still call people “jive turkey”

  • Ri Ri and Breezy just need to get back together. I mean…

    • When IAYP was in VSB land, Let my comment go!

      • Tell ol’ Liz-Pharoah to let your comment go! LOL

  • Cruel Summer > Watch the Throne

    • Jay

      …say word?

      • To be fair, Jay…”Watch The Throne” was kinda awful…

        • This is true. The production is far more cohesive though which is weird.

          • All I wanna know is if Def Jam is going to release it on vinyl and if it’s for a reasonable price. Because they wanted a hundred dollars for the vinyl of “Watch The Throne” (No bullsh*t- look it up!).

        • That Ugly Kid

          Watch The Throne was good. I really liked it. It wasn’t as great as Section 80, Camp, and Take Care, but it was good.

          • My biggest problem with “Watch The Throne” was it seemed that Kanye was on auto-pilot while he let the co-producers take the lead. If he has just done the album solely by himself, it probably would have sounded better. Then there’s that whole dubstep influence on half of the album. Nothing against it, but I’m not receptive to hearing rappers over dubstep.

  • nillalatte

    “2. An old woman smoking weed with sunglasses on”… in Colorado. BTW, Colorado has damn near beat Cali in the pot industry… AND I think they are actually going to legalize it. Damn the Feds. I love CO! :D

    I approve #2.

    On the tats thing… sorry folks, but I cannot stand tattoos. It has never been something I like to see on a person. Especially not on a fine looking man. I like skin w/o billboard art. Tats and smoking are deal breakers. Just can’t.

    And, I don’t know who caught the hug and kiss between Rihanna and Chris at the VMA. It was on the net a day or so later. smdh…

    • Val

      Yep, I saw the kiss thing. It was weird. He looked like his legs were going to give out on him.

      • KMN

        He was probably feeling like he was gonna have a stroke…i think CB misses RhiRhi more than she does him…


        • Val

          Before Rhianna did that Oprah interview I would have thought the same. But I think Rhianna may actually miss him more.

          • KMN

            you may be right ma’am…i didn’t get a chance to watch the Okra interview…and after i typed that i got to thinking about CBreezy’s real issue(and I hate to say this but these is the facts lol): he’s able to get away with handling both of them girls and they are both stupid as sin for allowing him to have them both and for fighting with each other…they need to be getting all (insert movie where women exact revenge on two timing man) on him because of what he’s doing.

            Low self esteem…daggone shame. But I guess they are young…one day they’ll find their worth


            • Val

              Yep, the three of them need to grow up, fast. Especially Rhianna. She has too much career to lose messing around with Chris.

              • KMN

                that’s true…her career has completely bypassed his to the nth degree…

                I’m really surprised at jay imma order you a fish filet during an interview z not having more control over this situation…


                • Val

                  Lol. That was crazy. Zadie should have thrown that fish samich on his lap and walked the hail out of the restaurant.

                  • African Mami

                    @ Val,

                    I soooo concur! Urrgh!

                  • Aly

                    I’ve never had a man order food for me before. I do believe I would like it though if he knew me well enough to know what I like to eat. It’s kind of macho and chivalrous, like he’s trying to take care of you.

                    • African Mami

                      girrrl, a FISH SANDWICH is just an insult to me not knowing what to order in an Italian restaurant! He can miss me with all that and then some!

                    • nillalatte

                      My guy and I recently went out, but like on a date date… and you know what was bad is I didn’t realize we were on a date until he ordered my food for me. We discussed what we were going to order and when the server came to the table he asked a question about a dish and then said, “she’ll have…. ” I was caught all off guard on that one. I should know better. He is constantly doing things I don’t expect. Such the playa. lol

  • I Hate Tattoos! 99% of them just scream low future time orientation. The best thing for Chris Brown to do would be to get all his other tattoos removed, along with his newest one. That would be a real gift for himself, and for the rest of us who have to look at those ugly things.

    • nillalatte

      To tat or not to tat? I’m in agreement with you on the tattoos.

      I was at a work related event and folks started talking about tats and piercings. I did not join in this convo. One of my black co-workers had a seven letter name and only 4 letters were tatted on his arm. Why he had only four letters I don’t remember, but his supervisor (also black) asked him if he was released from prison before he could tat the remaining letters of his name on his arm? smdh… Then all of a sudden the supervisor said, “I bet nilla has a tat, don’t you?” Deer in headlights…Say what?! How do I look like I’m gonna have a tattoo?

      • Val

        “asked him if he was released from prison before he could tat the remaining letters of his name on his arm?”

        Lol! That was so wrong. Did everyone laugh or was everyone uncomfortable after that?

        • nillalatte

          We all CTFU… He was a good sport. I don’t think he had actually ever been in prison. They were just messing with him.

          • Val

            It was kind of jacked up what he said to you too. But I think people usually associate women with tats as being a free spirit. So that’s probably what he lamely trying to say.

            • Val

              “what he lamely trying to say.” should be, ‘what he WAS lamely trying to say.’

              • nillalatte

                “free spirit?” more like black sheep. ;) It seems I’ve always been just a bit ‘different’ than a lot ‘normal’ [white] folks.

      • Jay

        Then all of a sudden the supervisor said, “I bet nilla has a tat, don’t you?

        LMAO, do people call you “Nilla” in real life?? Even funnier is the fact that it was your supervisor.

        • nillalatte

          Actually, a few do call me nilla, but in this story I substituted my moniker for my real name. For some reason, folks make up these nicknames for me all the damn time. I just roll wit it. Whatever. It ain’t about my name. It’s about my game. ;) lmao

      • bhillboy

        Nilla- You’re obviously comfortable around the darker skinned peoples of this country so can get joked at like that . I’d prolly run that at you myself. To see where your head was at.

        • nillalatte

          Skin tones don’t bother me. I enjoy different peoples and the different things they bring to a friendships/converations. Most non-white folks that I meet seem to recognize rather quickly that I’m rather at ease around almost anyone. A group that I socialize with occasionally, we all went out to dinner one night. My gf (black) brought her cousin to the event. Her cousin was side stepping in her convo with me, and I could tell it, but didn’t say anything. Suddenly my friend told her cousin, “Don’t let the white girl fool you.” lol… all I could do was giggle.

          • bhillboy

            Well…most white folks aren’t comfortable around “all types of people.” So it’s easy to recognize when someone is open.

      • “Then all of a sudden the supervisor said, “I bet nilla has a tat, don’t you?” Deer in headlights…Say what?! How do I look like I’m gonna have a tattoo?”

        You really don’t want to know the answer to this, do you?

        • I do. But I’m messy like that. *waiting*

          • Nah, I’m not gonna go in today. I’m trying to be on my best behavior…honest! *crosses fingers*

        • nillalatte

          LOL.. PA… believe me when I say if you saw me on the street you’d never suspect I was anything but a conservative white woman. Folks tell me frequently “you just don’t look like….” I often reply ‘you shouldn’t judge a book by the cover before you read it for content.’ ;)

          • bhillboy

            “… if you saw me on the street you’d never suspect I was anything but a conservative white woman. ” That’s why he threw that question at you. To get a real gauge of where your head was at. I’d ask something like that to if I thought you were “cool” behind closed doors.

  • spottieottiedarlin

    And what OTHER tats do you think Chris Brown should have considered instead of the one he chose?

    He should get the words “Look, Ma, No Hands!” It’s a way of saying ‘I come in peace, so you know it’s real’.

    I don’t think the tat is of Ri Ri either; it’s just bad judgement. Did his PR rep quit yet? I haven’t seen much of the young Christopher that has been on the up and up since *that* night, but I was never much of a stan before that either.

    Where’s “Yo” Chris and “With You” Chris? That Chris got a little tenderness outta me.

    *heads to bed singing ‘I need you boo/I gotta see you boo/And the hearts all over the world tonight/Said the hearts all over the world tonight…’*

    • KMN

      LMAO why did i think you were quoting the 5 Heartbeats …


    • “He should get the words “Look, Ma, No Hands!” It’s a way of saying ‘I come in peace, so you know it’s real’.”

      Now if I would have said this, I would have been called an asshole, LOL!
      (However, it does sound funny as hell if you think about it…)

    • JessicaL

      Lol, I thin he was crazy before the “night that shall not be named” he just doesn’t have to care about appearing normal anymore. That kind of crazy doesn’t pop up over night, it was already there.

      • spottieottiedarlin

        hahaha! I never got crazy vibes from him before then, but you’re right…it didn’t happen overnight. It’s kinda like when pop stars start out all cute and then they get raunchy. ie RiRi, Christina Aguleria (sp?), and so forth.

  • msdebbs

    I’m not a big fan of tatts. A few are ok but them big ugly ass gaudy tatts are a mess along with his life and everyone around him. And that played out sisqo blond hair makes him look like a dang fool.

    • Val

      Lol@mentioning Sisqo. He must hold the record for the quickest fade of a career. He was so hot one minute and the next minute he was a punchline to a joke.

      • Jay

        The ONLY thing stopping Chris Brown from going this route is his looks, thirsty females aged 13-30, and the fact that he can dance about 20% better than Sisqo.

        • Val

          So true.

        • This ninja NEVER sings when he’s asked to perform on national television. Bugs me out. Add in cougars to that demographic as well.

          • Val

            To be fair, there’s no way he could sing with all of that dancing he does. He does some really elaborate routines. But, you’re right, I can’t remember ever hearing him sing live.

          • Um, his first song out, he said “I’ma show you things that’ll have you screaming I can’t be 16!!!” It’s clear that his fan base has a lot of Brigham Young University and University of Houston alumni, if you get my drift.

        • KMN

          +1….also that he’s been a teenagers love interest for more teens and for much longer than Sisqo…i don’t think the Dru had a chance up against CBreezy


      • “He was so hot one minute and the next minute he was a punchline to a joke.”

        His arrogance got the best of him. He had one huge pop hit and all of a sudden, he started talking a million dollars worth of sh*t and thinking he was better than every artist that was out at the same time he was. Somebody should have told him not to show out until his sophomore album actually did something.

        • Val

          True, PA, he did get the big head. They should do an Unsung for Sisqo and then make all rookie artists watch it as a cautionary tale.

          • …Or make them watch the “Unsung” episodes on Shalamar and Klymaxx, LMAO!!!

            • Val

              Lol. Well at least Jody and Howard Hewitt went on to have decent careers. Especially Jody. But Klymaxx, what ever happened to them, PA?. I think Joyce Irby had an album but the rest? Wait, Joyce Irby was in Klymaxx, right?

              • Yep, Joyce was in Klymaxx. Bernadette dropped an album (and nobody bought it *snickers*, Joyce also left for a solo career (and she discovered Dallas Austin and Lloyd in the process). The remaining members released an album (That, again, nobody bought. However considering what was being released by their labelmates over at MCA Records at the time in 1990 (Eric B. & Rakim, Guy, Ralph Trevant, Bell Biv DeVoe, Pebbles), they didn’t stand a chance.

  • Val

    I think he should get the words “Wasted Potential” tattooed on his forehead. Chris Brown was on his way to being the king of modern day R&B or at least the Prince. He was crossing over from the very beginning of his career, the girls loved him, the media liked him. Yep, he could of been king/ prince had he not brutalized Rhianna. Wasted potential indeed.

    • nillalatte

      +1… if I have to support a tattoo I would support this affirmation as truth.

    • Jay

      Chris Brown was on his way to being the king of modern day R&B or at least the Prince.

      Surely you meant the “P” in Prince to be lowercase. Surely…

      • Val

        Lol. Of course I wasn’t comparing Chris to his purpleness, should have been lowercase.

        • spottieottiedarlin

          thank Gawd!

          • msdebbs

            “I think he should get the words “Wasted Potential” tattooed on his forehead.”
            He’s starting to remind me of a new school Bobby Brown….he just can’t get his shiat together.

            • Val

              If CB is doing drugs, like so many people say he is, then he will soon hit BBrown status. Btw, Bobby Brown is doing another reality show, I hear. Oh the horror!!

              • demondog06

                look at the eyes…the boy is on something.
                you know alot of these young cats are out here poppin pills, doin that x and even laced weed with lilttle of that cain….

        • JessicaL

          Bol at his purpleness.

    • Royale W. Cheese

      Oh, and it should be misspelled, too. “Waisted potential.” Perfect.

      • *faints*

        Oh, how I love seeing misspelled tattoos. My homeboy has one on his forearm that says “New Beginings.”

        • JessicaL

          My old homeboy let a crackhead do a tat for him. It was supposed to say RIP Brian, it said RIP Brain. It was kinda sad.

          • That is terribly sad….

            And I would have prayed for the strength to make it to my car before I started laughing. I know. I’m awful.

          • nillalatte

            “RIP Brain”
            rotflmfao… omg… take me now God, take. me. now. lol

          • DQ

            It couldn’t have been all that sad… I mean…I am laughing right now

          • “It was supposed to say RIP Brian, it said RIP Brain. It was kinda sad.”

            To get out of that, he could have twisted two things in to his favor:

            One: Say the tattoo is a lament on the American public system.
            Two: Say the tattoo was a reference to the dying art of women giving oral sex.

            Just throwing that out there *snickers*…

            • That should read…

              One: Say the tattoo is a lament on the American public educational system.

        • My boy got loyatly on his neck, someone makes Fun of it every time we get together and he’s always ready to fight…that’s the thing about tats u gotta be ready to ride for them, not like they go anywhere

      • LMNOP

        that would be perfect. maybe a backwards letter or two.

      • Val

        Lol. Yep, a misspelling would be perfect!

    • His music was awful when he started. So how can he be wasted potential when he didn’t have anything of redeeming value to waste?

      • Thank. You.

        • I’m saying though…Chris Brown was basically another Ralph Tresvant- but without great songs and a good singing voice, LOL!

          • I liked CB’s “Run It”. Can’t name another song. I think he’s gotten as far as he has cause he can dance. That I’ll give him. That’s all I’ll give him.

            • WIP

              Can’t believe you liked “Run It”…my favorite is “Don’t be on that BS.” And he’s killing chorus in “Another Round.” I don’t own an album but your boy is decent.

      • Val

        His music may have been bad, PA, but he had a huge fan base and was popular with the media. He was the “it” kid back then.

        • …And he went from the “it” kid to the “hit” kid and then to the “ain’t sh*t” kid, LMAO!

  • nillalatte

    “Is Chris Brown crazy enough to tat a picture of a battered woman on his person?”
    Let’s hope like hell not. Is he trying to get another order of protection… against himself? Wouldn’t that be a riot. Yes, yes, it might be a riot. Chris might actually start fighting with his own neck! Another TalkSoup episode.

    “And how’d I do as his Tattoo Czar?”
    Wonderful, as always. Now can we get a tattoo removal expert to talk to his arse please. I can’t hardly stand to look at Chris now with all that shyt on his body. Def a turn off for me.

    “And what OTHER tats do you think Chris Brown should have considered instead of the one he chose?”
    Personally, I think Chris needs a psych eval post haste. No more tats are needed on his body. He junking up a perfectly fine look with billboard mess. Someone please ask him to step away from the ink. Thanks.

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