10 Tattoo Ideas For Chris Brown Better Than Rihanna’s February 2009 Face

Starting at the top, I do not believe that Chris Brown tatted the face of a battered woman on his body. Or his neck.

Keep up.

However, I do understand why somebody might think that he’s crazy enough to do so. See, Chris Brown has reached that rare space where if something crazy happens and he’s in the vicinity, there’s probably a better than 50 percent change he’s responsible. Or if something outwardly stupid occurs, and it involves him, it’s highly likely that its intentional or at least not unintentional.

For instance, if you are walking down the street and a chair comes flying out of a window, and two minutes later you see Breezy dance out of the buildling, well, if you assumed he is the one who threw the chair nobody would really dispute or disagree with that conclusion. Or let’s just say that he gets a tattoo that resembles the face of a battered woman – you know, something he’s familiar with – even if it isn’t supposed to be a battered woman, well, assuming that Chris Brown might be dumb enough to get a tattoo that unintentionally resembles the face of the woman he laid his hands on seems totally inbounds, therefore he got a tattoo of a battered woman. Even Mike Tyson would wince at that. You know, hypothetically speaking. In fact, Chris Brown enjoys company with only Ron Artest and Mike Tyson in this club for folks who actually do sh*t that while absolutely insane, seems like just another day at the office. I’m not sure if Chris is proud of bothered by this. Probably a bit of both.

Let’s just say, if Chris Brown walked out on stage holding a wang and a bong and said he was supporting the cause of hermaphrodite tadpoles by discouraging the use of latex mirrors, I wouldn’t even bat an eye.

With that being said, Chris Brown’s biggest problem here is his handlers. So I’m going to officially throw my hat in the ring to be his new Tattoo Czar. He’s got quite the collection already and is obviously hellbent on adding new interesting and questionably tattoos, so I figure that I’ll give him some ideas for tats that will be no less attention-worthy, but won’t really make him look like a deranged d*ck either.

Such as?

Such as…

1. Big Bird f*cking Snuffleupagus

Let’s be real, we’ve all thought it happened anyway. Either way this tat would be both playful and ridiculous and tackle an age old question: are Sesame Street characters asexual?

2. An old woman smoking weed with sunglasses on

This could be in support of medical marijuana usage in California and soon-to-be nationwide! This way he is supporting the AARP set AND the stoner set. This can’t possibly piss anybody off.

3. A white person wearing a Black Panther shirt

This could be one of those big tats that he could show off at concerts in attempts to promote racial harmony and unity. And what’s better than racial harmoney and unity?

Glad you asked…

4. Tupac in a wheelchair coming out the courthouse before going upstate

You know, the iconic photo of ‘Pac. Well, that’s somebody in pain, but nobody would think twice about that. Well, I mean tattin’ ‘Pac on your body is something The Game or Nas would do actually, but still, Chris Brown could tat that in the name of vulnerability or artists who are misunderstood and who do misunderstood sh*t.

5. Beyonce

Though this may definitely cause problems in his own household considering his new chick must absolutely hate Rihanna…so wait, that might be a win actually because Ri-Ri’s natural enemy is Beyonce! Though, he definitely would never be able to smang Rihanna again despite every attempt those two seem to be making to get back together. And he soooooo wants to smang her again.

6. Aaliyah

I mean, Drake has pretty much cornered the market on Aaliyah standom…or has he? After the whole bottle incident that Kevin Hart TOTALLY BOMBED at the VMAs, wouldn’t it just be kind of sneaky good to one up Drake with an Aaliyah tat as well? Not some retarded fill in of the dates either, but like a tat that was a .gif of Aaliyah rocking the boat? I see potential here.

7. A six-pointed pentagram

What? It ain’t like I said a 3-angled rhombus.Seriously, when was the last time you read a blog and saw the word rhombus?

8. Coca-Cola

Since he’s no stranger to odd-ball behavior, being the first rapper to sell skin as ad space might be a good move for him. Plus, that would put him in direct competition with all the famous folks hawking Pepsi. Kanye, Chris is coming for you.

9. An oddly resembling Kim Kardashian face

Talk about your convo starter. It could start a cat fight between he, Kanye West, Kris Jenner, and Kris Humphries. By the way, I know we think Chris is kind of loopy, but is there any doubt that he’d whip Kanye’s ass in a fight? Doubt it.

10. His own face

Not sure how popular this was every where else, but we had this tragic era in Atlanta of people tatting their names in cursive on their arms. Yes. Their own names. Well, what if he big leagued everybody and tatted his own face on his neck? I believe Marlon said it best when he sang in harmony with his brothers, “can you feel it?” I think you can.

So what do you think? Is Chris Brown crazy enough to tat a picture of a battered woman on his person? And how’d I do as his Tattoo Czar? And what OTHER tats do you think Chris Brown should have considered instead of the one he chose?

Talk to me.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka MR. I AIN’T GOT NO TATS aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

354 thoughts on “10 Tattoo Ideas For Chris Brown Better Than Rihanna’s February 2009 Face

  1. 1 – I don’t buy that ‘Day of the Daed’ shullbit. He knows what people would think

    2 – I think he should have gotten a non-battered picture of Rihanna tatted on him., and YOLO tattooed underneath it

  2. How does something like that even happen???

    Breezy: I think I want to get a picture of a battered woman’s face on my neck
    Friends: That’s gonna be dope! (do ppl still use that word?)

    Most ppl who get tattoos run their idea by at least one person before they go through with it. He doesn’t need more people, just better people.

  3. “2. An old woman smoking weed with sunglasses on”… in Colorado. BTW, Colorado has damn near beat Cali in the pot industry… AND I think they are actually going to legalize it. Damn the Feds. I love CO! :D

    I approve #2.

    On the tats thing… sorry folks, but I cannot stand tattoos. It has never been something I like to see on a person. Especially not on a fine looking man. I like skin w/o billboard art. Tats and smoking are deal breakers. Just can’t.

    And, I don’t know who caught the hug and kiss between Rihanna and Chris at the VMA. It was on the net a day or so later. smdh…

          • you may be right ma’am…i didn’t get a chance to watch the Okra interview…and after i typed that i got to thinking about CBreezy’s real issue(and I hate to say this but these is the facts lol): he’s able to get away with handling both of them girls and they are both stupid as sin for allowing him to have them both and for fighting with each other…they need to be getting all (insert movie where women exact revenge on two timing man) on him because of what he’s doing.

            Low self esteem…daggone shame. But I guess they are young…one day they’ll find their worth

            KMN

              • that’s true…her career has completely bypassed his to the nth degree…

                I’m really surprised at jay imma order you a fish filet during an interview z not having more control over this situation…

                KMN

                  • I’ve never had a man order food for me before. I do believe I would like it though if he knew me well enough to know what I like to eat. It’s kind of macho and chivalrous, like he’s trying to take care of you.

                    • girrrl, a FISH SANDWICH is just an insult to me not knowing what to order in an Italian restaurant! He can miss me with all that and then some!

                    • My guy and I recently went out, but like on a date date… and you know what was bad is I didn’t realize we were on a date until he ordered my food for me. We discussed what we were going to order and when the server came to the table he asked a question about a dish and then said, “she’ll have…. ” I was caught all off guard on that one. I should know better. He is constantly doing things I don’t expect. Such the playa. lol

  4. I Hate Tattoos! 99% of them just scream low future time orientation. The best thing for Chris Brown to do would be to get all his other tattoos removed, along with his newest one. That would be a real gift for himself, and for the rest of us who have to look at those ugly things.

    • To tat or not to tat? I’m in agreement with you on the tattoos.

      I was at a work related event and folks started talking about tats and piercings. I did not join in this convo. One of my black co-workers had a seven letter name and only 4 letters were tatted on his arm. Why he had only four letters I don’t remember, but his supervisor (also black) asked him if he was released from prison before he could tat the remaining letters of his name on his arm? smdh… Then all of a sudden the supervisor said, “I bet nilla has a tat, don’t you?” Deer in headlights…Say what?! How do I look like I’m gonna have a tattoo?

      • “asked him if he was released from prison before he could tat the remaining letters of his name on his arm?”

        Lol! That was so wrong. Did everyone laugh or was everyone uncomfortable after that?

      • Then all of a sudden the supervisor said, “I bet nilla has a tat, don’t you?

        LMAO, do people call you “Nilla” in real life?? Even funnier is the fact that it was your supervisor.

        • Actually, a few do call me nilla, but in this story I substituted my moniker for my real name. For some reason, folks make up these nicknames for me all the damn time. I just roll wit it. Whatever. It ain’t about my name. It’s about my game. ;) lmao

      • Nilla- You’re obviously comfortable around the darker skinned peoples of this country so can get joked at like that . I’d prolly run that at you myself. To see where your head was at.

        • Skin tones don’t bother me. I enjoy different peoples and the different things they bring to a friendships/converations. Most non-white folks that I meet seem to recognize rather quickly that I’m rather at ease around almost anyone. A group that I socialize with occasionally, we all went out to dinner one night. My gf (black) brought her cousin to the event. Her cousin was side stepping in her convo with me, and I could tell it, but didn’t say anything. Suddenly my friend told her cousin, “Don’t let the white girl fool you.” lol… all I could do was giggle.

      • “Then all of a sudden the supervisor said, “I bet nilla has a tat, don’t you?” Deer in headlights…Say what?! How do I look like I’m gonna have a tattoo?”

        You really don’t want to know the answer to this, do you?

        • LOL.. PA… believe me when I say if you saw me on the street you’d never suspect I was anything but a conservative white woman. Folks tell me frequently “you just don’t look like….” I often reply ‘you shouldn’t judge a book by the cover before you read it for content.’ ;)

          • “… if you saw me on the street you’d never suspect I was anything but a conservative white woman. ” That’s why he threw that question at you. To get a real gauge of where your head was at. I’d ask something like that to if I thought you were “cool” behind closed doors.

  5. And what OTHER tats do you think Chris Brown should have considered instead of the one he chose?

    He should get the words “Look, Ma, No Hands!” It’s a way of saying ‘I come in peace, so you know it’s real’.

    I don’t think the tat is of Ri Ri either; it’s just bad judgement. Did his PR rep quit yet? I haven’t seen much of the young Christopher that has been on the up and up since *that* night, but I was never much of a stan before that either.

    Where’s “Yo” Chris and “With You” Chris? That Chris got a little tenderness outta me.

    *heads to bed singing ‘I need you boo/I gotta see you boo/And the hearts all over the world tonight/Said the hearts all over the world tonight…’*

    • “He should get the words “Look, Ma, No Hands!” It’s a way of saying ‘I come in peace, so you know it’s real’.”

      Now if I would have said this, I would have been called an asshole, LOL!
      (However, it does sound funny as hell if you think about it…)

    • Lol, I thin he was crazy before the “night that shall not be named” he just doesn’t have to care about appearing normal anymore. That kind of crazy doesn’t pop up over night, it was already there.

      • hahaha! I never got crazy vibes from him before then, but you’re right…it didn’t happen overnight. It’s kinda like when pop stars start out all cute and then they get raunchy. ie RiRi, Christina Aguleria (sp?), and so forth.

  6. I’m not a big fan of tatts. A few are ok but them big ugly ass gaudy tatts are a mess along with his life and everyone around him. And that played out sisqo blond hair makes him look like a dang fool.

    • Lol@mentioning Sisqo. He must hold the record for the quickest fade of a career. He was so hot one minute and the next minute he was a punchline to a joke.

      • The ONLY thing stopping Chris Brown from going this route is his looks, thirsty females aged 13-30, and the fact that he can dance about 20% better than Sisqo.

      • “He was so hot one minute and the next minute he was a punchline to a joke.”

        His arrogance got the best of him. He had one huge pop hit and all of a sudden, he started talking a million dollars worth of sh*t and thinking he was better than every artist that was out at the same time he was. Somebody should have told him not to show out until his sophomore album actually did something.

            • Lol. Well at least Jody and Howard Hewitt went on to have decent careers. Especially Jody. But Klymaxx, what ever happened to them, PA?. I think Joyce Irby had an album but the rest? Wait, Joyce Irby was in Klymaxx, right?

              • Yep, Joyce was in Klymaxx. Bernadette dropped an album (and nobody bought it *snickers*, Joyce also left for a solo career (and she discovered Dallas Austin and Lloyd in the process). The remaining members released an album (That, again, nobody bought. However considering what was being released by their labelmates over at MCA Records at the time in 1990 (Eric B. & Rakim, Guy, Ralph Trevant, Bell Biv DeVoe, Pebbles), they didn’t stand a chance.

  7. I think he should get the words “Wasted Potential” tattooed on his forehead. Chris Brown was on his way to being the king of modern day R&B or at least the Prince. He was crossing over from the very beginning of his career, the girls loved him, the media liked him. Yep, he could of been king/ prince had he not brutalized Rhianna. Wasted potential indeed.

  8. “Is Chris Brown crazy enough to tat a picture of a battered woman on his person?”
    Let’s hope like hell not. Is he trying to get another order of protection… against himself? Wouldn’t that be a riot. Yes, yes, it might be a riot. Chris might actually start fighting with his own neck! Another TalkSoup episode.

    “And how’d I do as his Tattoo Czar?”
    Wonderful, as always. Now can we get a tattoo removal expert to talk to his arse please. I can’t hardly stand to look at Chris now with all that shyt on his body. Def a turn off for me.

    “And what OTHER tats do you think Chris Brown should have considered instead of the one he chose?”
    Personally, I think Chris needs a psych eval post haste. No more tats are needed on his body. He junking up a perfectly fine look with billboard mess. Someone please ask him to step away from the ink. Thanks.

  9. CBreeze & this kitchen-do ass tattoo needs to have several seats. Maybe he should’ve gotten a cr@ck pipe tatted on him, since he seems to be on some sh*t w/all these antics he’s been pulling lately.

  10. Not a huge tattoo guy either. I’m planning to only get one tattoo. And that’s one similar to the tat Dwayne Johnson has that connects from his chest to his shoulder.

    Other than that, I don’t like tattoos. Especially on dark skinned folk. Black ink doesn’t stand out very well on dark skin. So if you’re dark, and covered with tattoos, you look dirty as f*ck from a distance 3ft and beyond. It’s not until you get up close do I realise that’s not dirt, just names of the baby mama(s) and the brand of condoms which is responsible for the fact you even have baby mama(s) in the first place.

    Don’t get me started on female tats. I hate them. If you got a little cute heart or some sh!t on your stomach or leg or whatever, that’s fine. But sleeves are a HUUUUGE no-no. I hate seeing women with sleeves, azz tats, and other ratchetness. You’re beautiful as is, don’t ruin it.

          • Pretty good actually. Helped my bestfriend move back to the southside, which is awesome because now I don’t have to spend 2 hours on public transportation just to visit her. She lives 10 minutes away now.

            But other than that I’ve just been hanging out with friends and keeping myself busy by downloading copious amounts of pr0n, then immediately deleting most of them after realising that Brian Pumper and/or Wesley Pipes is in the scene.

            Oh and football season has begun!!!! You doing okay, Wild Val?

            • ***go0gles Brian Pumper and Wesley Pipes*

              *Gags*

              I’m good. That was mighty nice of you helping her move. You can always tell true friends by who will help you move. When I know someone, who is not a very close friend, is getting ready to move I start complaining about ‘having a bad back’. Lol

              • Strangely enough, my friend said the same thing. She commented on how annoying it was that I am the only male friend who helps her without trying to get in her pants. Which is true, actually. I’m not trying to sleep with any of my really close female friends, despite all of them being attractive. I’m just suprised she said I was the ONLY one. Didn’t know it was that hard out there for her lol.

            • I don’t know what’s better about you. Either you helping your female friend to move without expecting a lil sumthin’ sumthin’ or deleting pr0n after spotting those 2 fools in there. They’ve helped a lot of women realize their true sexuality, and I thank them for encouraging lesbians to come out. ;) Seriously, those idiots are clowns.

              Either way, you’re doing good man. :)

            • “But other than that I’ve just been hanging out with friends and keeping myself busy by downloading copious amounts of pr0n”- No Shade with so much pr0n available on the internet, must you….or better yet, is it a wise investment to be downloading it to your hard drive?

                • if i remember correctly, champ is a collector too and has explained on here why, for those of us who were wondering. i don’t remember the answer though, lol. so tuk (or other collectors), if u see this, why save it at all when there’s so many good free p0rn sites?

    • “So if you’re dark, and covered with tattoos, you look dirty as f*ck from a distance 3ft and beyond.”

      This is so mean…funny and true.

      • Had to be blunt lol. Wouldn’t be much of a problem if n!ggas in Chicago didn’t insist on being shirtless regardless the activity they are partaking in. I’m tired of seeing it.

        But, to be fair, this only applies to the people with tats all over (torso, arms, etc). If you’re dark and you got a few on your arm or something, you’re fine. Just know that you’ve hit your quota for this lifetime, and that you shouldn’t get any more.

          • Wait, really? I NEVER liked gold teeth. Even when they were popular. Because unless you smiled really wide, your teeth looked like you’ve been drinking your own urine for about 2 years during normal conversation. So now n!ggas look dirty AND like oral hygiene is a foreign concept to them?

            Gotdamn Mayans were right all along.

              • What’s worse is that a lot of people with “golds” dont have the best oral hygiene and their teeth sometimes fall out. I think that’s disgusting. What’s the point of getting gold in your mouth when you’re missing teeth?

    • “… just names of the baby mama(s) and the brand of condoms which is responsible for the fact you even have baby mama(s) in the first place.”

      Well, damn. lol. Nice to see your face and bowtie on these e-streets.

      • Awww it’s okay dearie. As I said, I don’t mind you having one or two here or there. Just as long as you don’t have a sleeve, azz tats, or just plain covered in tats all over.

        • I don’t have a tat, my love. Not one. I will never get one, because I can’t imagine a symbol or word I want on me for the rest of my life. Except my name. But that would be dumb. So there will be no tats.

          I hate to be judgy, but tats do have a tendency to make a person look dirty. And a person with a lot of them or really obvious places, in the back of my mind, I’m thinking deviant, undisciplined, drug user, low class. Sorry to anyone offended, but its the first impression. People should understand that a lot of people think that before they start getting artistic. But some of my best friends have tattoos, so…..

          • i feel you. i’m glad i never went through with getting a tat. i remeber a time when only rebels and strippers got tats.
            now errbody got em’. it’s not even unique anymore. 13 year old suburban girls got em now.
            the only body mutilation i’ve done is my brand. but i was 21 and fresh off my indoctrination and brainwashing into my fraternity

            • I feel like “Rebels” go against the grain. So, when everybody started getting “Tupac” tats all over their torso’s, I decided not to ever get a tattoo. Plus, a lot men were getting tattoos to make them look like tough guys. I have battle scars on my face from actually being a tough guy so I didn’t need a tattoo to validate my toughness. It’s all over my face.

    • “So if you’re dark, and covered with tattoos, you look dirty as f*ck from a distance 3ft and beyond.”

      gotta disagree here…perceived dirtiness is probably negatively correlated to perceived fineness.

      • Maybe you see it that way, but I don’t. To me you literally look dirty. Especially if you have a bunch of words and sh!t scribbled on you. From a distance, at first glance, they don’t look like words. They look like dirt. Literally.

    • *waves @ TUK* Glad someone in your generation feels (almost) the same way I do about tats.

      A tat is what got my oldest daughter put out of the house. Yes, I said put out. See, I told her that she could have a tat when 1- she was 18, 2- no longer lived under my roof, 3- no longer my daughter. In other words, no tats. Well, she turned 18 and got a tat. She hid it from me for about 2 weeks then claimed it was henna. But, that shyt wasn’t wearing off. When she finally confessed, I told her she had to go.

      Some folks said I went off the deep end, but you know what? I laid the ground rules and they were broken. She knew the consequences. Fortunately for her she was headed to college. She just had to go a lil earlier.

      When she graduated from college she told me she was thinking about getting another tat. She asked, “What do you think I should get?” I replied, “Your head examined.” >:\

      • Eh, I think putting her out was a bit extreme. I think the punishment you should’ve done was either lock her in a small, hot room with me after my lactose intolerant azz eats a bowl of cereal, or lock her in a spacious, sound proof room with me in all my half nakedness and I’d punish her for you.

        I prefer the latter method if you want a totally unbiased opinion.

        • 1- Ground rules in my home are clear. I really don’t have that many nor are they difficult to adhere to.
          2- You break said ground rules there are consequences.
          3- Momma aka ‘the enforcer’ enforces ground rules, no exceptions. I have expectations.
          4- I have 2 other children that need to know momma don’t play.
          5- Ain’t buying your unbiased opinion. Sounds like you didn’t want to punish her as much as pleasure her. lol naughty TUK

    • I have two tattoos, TUK. They’re both small and not flashy. You wouldn’t know I had them unless a) I told you; b) I showed you; and/or c) You saw me naked. No arm or sleeve or neck tattoos for me.

      • My daughter got one on the back of her neck. Yeah, she can wear her hair down and you can’t see it, but I know it’s still there. And, of all things she got Arabic calligraphy. It supposed to say “Love” in Arabic. I said, “You don’t even know Arabic girl and I bet the tattooist doesn’t know Arabic either. For all you know it could say “kiss my arse.” smdh…

        • LOL word. that’s why I didn’t get any tattoos in another language. The other day my best friend saw a girl with a tattoo in Arabic and when he read it he was shocked! He went up to her, asked her if she knew what the tattoo said, she said it was the Arabic word for patience (sabr), but the tattoo artist messed up. He wrote “zabr,” which is Lebanese slang for penis. She started crying right there on the 4 train. That ish ain’t happening to me lol.

  11. This is a combo question/answer…wtf is a gangnam style? I just saw that video and i just…i’m not sure anymore. And i nominate gangnam style for a tattoo on CBreezy…lil Kim Jong-il going gangnam style on his chest lol

    KMN

  12. “there’s probably a better than 50 percent change he’s responsible.”

    Change we can all believe in.

    That tatt looks like a demon trying to escape out of the side of his neck. Maybe it’s not an abused lady at all. Maybe the smudges and lines were done by accident because CB kept jumping and cringing during the tattoo session. I’d imagine that a neck tattoo hurts like heck, and CB doesn’t exactly come across as one of Marine or warrior grit.

  13. More tattoo ideas for IBCB…

    1. A “Dumb Chris Brown stunts Bingo” board: throw chair, hit woman, long for Ri-ri, get tattoo, slap fight, change hair color, etc. He can play bingo on his own chest

    2. Go-to phrases for when he gets pigeon-holed in an interview, such as “I am at peace with Rihanna, I wish you could be, too” or “Every time you bring that up, it’s like you’re beating Rihanna all over again. Leave her be.”

    3. A tatt on each fist that says “go grab a beer instead of somebody’s neck.”

  14. “I mean, Drake has pretty much cornered the market on Aaliyah standom…or has he? After the whole bottle incident that Kevin Hart TOTALLY BOMBED at the VMAs….”

    I ono if K-Hart bombed that one, so to speak. The joke seemed more like the heavily diluted, super corny shullbit (stolen from above) that passes for comedy on MTV Networks currently. Methinks, that producers and execs had him clear all jokes before presenting them and that’s what he had to put out there.

    He knew that joke wasn’t the Kevin Hart that had people lining up to see him perform, but he also knew that said joke would help his gain exposure with the MTV crowd and thus heighten his profile. Call it an intentional bombing, I guess.

    Also, I’m convinced that there is some organization (don’t believe in the Illuminati) that has arranged for short men to be at the forefront of entertainment in some way shape or form. Most Hollywood/entertainment notables are around average height 5’10 or less, but for some reason, there always comes someone short, (under 5’8″) who gets pushed to the forefront and America loves them. I just wonder, why?

    It transcends race too: Tom Cruise, Ben Stiller, Al Pacino, Danny DeVito years ago, Kevin Hart, Katt Williams, Ja Rule, Wayne, etc.
    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/film/film-news/8577019/Hollywoods-shortest-actors.html

    I have no issue with it in the slightest, but I can’t be the only who notices that short people tend to be very successful in entertainment and hollywood.

  15. “Who you gonna believe-me, or your lying eyes?”
    -Anonymous

    Good morning panama,
    Excellent choice for todays discussion! Lets dive right in shall we?

    Yesterday during the ensuing discussion following my observations on the phenomenon of less than desirable women demanding that they be noticed, a longtime vsb regular-and someone i happen to think is quite cool myself to be frank, asked with a distinct tenor of incredulity, does looks really matter all that much insofar as women are concerned?

    Of course my reply was terse and devastatingly to the point:

    YES. It does matter.

    Just as women cannot deny the brutal truths of the world in which they live, so too must men man-up about the ways in which the realworld works; the path of red pill doesnt work any other way.

    For if there was ever a clear as september morning example as to the hows and whys of sexual interaction along the most politically incorrect and taboo lines, the saga of chris brown and rihanna are it; indeed, that whole tat business is itself, just a smokescreen. We all know why these two are so indeliably etched on our brains.

    Dont we?

    So, lets dive right in.

    Men learn (or should learn) from an early age that it isnt the guys who play by the rules who get the honies; indeed, it is the exact opposite. In fact, the more protestation you hear from the ladies on thus and so, the more you can be certain that they secretly love thus and so. In fact, it is not at all uncommon for a woman to see if she can get you to fall for the okey doke by raising a fuss over something, just to see if youll follow along; if you do, “fail”.

    Called a “sh*t test” in the community, such things are womans evolved adaptations to literally test a mans fitness to be her mate and baby daddy. Guys who consistently pass such tests prove to her on a deep hindbrain level that hes the real deal and dont wilt under pressure.

    But wait theres more! Not only do these tests occur on the individual levelj they occur on the group one too. And here we go right to the chris/rihanna thing.

    What really happened btw them was her testing chris, and while i personally would have handled things differently the point is that he did handle it. When women are presented with the choice of a wimply herb or a douchie jerk, well, fellas: who you gonna believe-me, or your lying eyes?

    Yes, thats right-now you know the reason why guys who looked like they just walked outta pelican bay never go wanting for female company, while carlton with the bowtie is feverishly working it out with the left hand. The former displays and exhibits all the traits of dominance and a willingness to break polite social conventions; the latter exhibts that hes not only “safe” but also boring-a bona fide gina tingle killer. Remember that flick of those supposedly successful brothas who just couldnt find women to save their lives? Who do you think the more closely resembled-chris brown, or brotha poindexter?

    Hmm?

    Overstand this, my brothas-when women are faced with such a stark choice between a chris brown and a poindexter, you can best believe the former can and will trump the latter. He not only will beat on that a** like planet of the apes, he will then carry her back to the hut and wear her out.

    And she will love him for it.

    Just ask rihanna.

    Now adjourn your blue pill arses…

    O.

    • LMAO! Probably one of your most hilarious posts. Can’t say I disagree.
      On a serious matter however, in this most extreme case (chris brown/rihanna) it is unfortunate that your assertions are sadly the case in plenty of situations similar to theirs. However, for many who don’t fall into that level of relationship volatility, the same basic carnal laws of attraction are still at play & undeniable.
      Lying eyes are indeed the windows of truth.

    • “…when women are faced with such a stark choice between a chris brown and a poindexter, you can best believe the former can and will trump the latter.’

      Yes, if we have a death wish.

      • @ms tes:
        Well your preferences notwithstanding, i think its best to ask the fellas what do their lying eyes tell them when they go outside their doors…

        Are the ladies indeed drooling for the poindexters…or are they going for something just a weebit different?

        What say you, brothas?

        O.

        • “Are the ladies indeed drooling for the poindexters…or are they going for something just a weebit different?”

          from my vantage point, women are going for what attracts them. men that don’t dress like poindexter, that don’t look like they belong in..”pelican bay”…

          dudes in…the middle. Crazy as f*ck, ain’t it?

          but that’s just the one opinion of one poindexter dude that gets no play. i know you need to make your point by using extreme examples, so i’m sorry i couldn’t help. maybe one of the other good gentlemen can use their experiences to back up your bullsh…i mean well thought out hypothesis.

      • In O’s posts “women” = a certain type of woman. Pretty on the outside, batsh*t crazy on the inside. The rest of us don’t count, and O will defend a man’s right to ignore the rest of us. His mission is to help guys conquer Rihannas. Whether this actually makes a man happy is something only that man will know. All I know is that if a man decides to take on sh*t tests while deeming more sane, mature acting women as too undesirable, he’d better shut up and enjoy his crazy.

        • “All I know is that if a man decides to take on sh*t tests while deeming more sane, mature acting women as too undesirable, he’d better shut up and enjoy his crazy.”

          YES!!!! Yes!!!! yes!!!!!!

  16. On his back Brown should get a tat of Denzel getting beat in Glory by that pissy Irish Sgt. At the bottom of the tat there should be an inset which features Denzel’s face and the infamous “f**k this slave sh*t tear”.

  17. From the looks of it…That tat looks like Rihanna’s face. P**sy is a hell of a drug. This ninja tatting her face on his neck!? What part of the game is this?

    Rihanna must have that good stuff like Erykah Badu. Erykah made Common go from dressing like a thug to wearing cardigans and ish.

  18. I am not a big tattoo fan either. I was dating a dude last summer and I just got extremely turned off when I saw all the tattoos on his torso. Like, I could see if there was a theme, but it was a bunch of random stuff. Yes, it looked just like somebody tagged a billboard with gang graffiti.

    And yes, I do have one…..but I’m not a big fan of that either. I got it when I was 19, way before tattooing was legal in Oklahoma. My friends and I drove to a tattoo parlor in Amarillo called Screaming Mimi’s and….well, it was either the tattoo or getting my tongue pierced. YOLO, right? It’s not big and it’s not in a place where most people would even see it. It’s just one of my regrets.

      • Mine is a cross with a crown of thorns around the top. I always said I was going to get a verse or my favorite Latin saying (amor vincit omnia) underneath it, but it never happened.

    • You should have gone with the piercing! Totally removal if you changed your mind. I’m working my way to 15 by the end of the year. I love my tattoo too but may cover it up or add on in the future.

      • You know, I was actually thinking about getting “stronger” in Hebrew on my waist. But then I looked on a website and saw how that can go really wrong, really quick. Sort of like people who didn’t thoroughly research their Chinese letters. LOL

      • In retrospect, yeah. But my friend got one and when I saw the way her tongue swelled up, I chickened out.

        I’m not saying it was the tongue ring, but she was REALLY popular with the football players. LOL

  19. I swear Chris Brown didn’t have a chance. Between his mama and that manager that molested him, the boy wasn’t going to be right. It’s only his incredible talent that’s taken him this far. He needs therapy, and lots of it.

    In terms of tats, people need to be smart about it. Your skin is not a doodle pad. You just can’t throw it away when you’re done. Tastefully done tattoos are hot. Whole body works? Not so much. Oh, and beyond a certain darkness of complexion, I agree that tats are a waste of time. Only you know they even exist, and that’s because you shower with them daily. LOL

  20. Oh, and I TOTALLY agree about your Big Bird/Snuffy assessment, though I think it’s the other way around. Either way, there was always something very clandestine between them.

    Y’all saw the way Snuffy was batting his eyelashes at Big Bird…

  21. Between Chris Brown and Chad Johnson’s tattoo I am lost for words. Oh well, I guess this is the new trend for abusers…get tattoos of their victims.

    S/N: If his girlfriend wasn’t giving him a strong side eye before over the fact that he is NOT over Rhi-Rhi then this definitely proves it.

  22. I think CB needs to hire “IAYP” for he has NO PEOPLE!! If he had people, the following would never have happened!!

    Dyeing his hair blonde.
    He looks like a child infected with marasmus. Stop the blondie madness!

    THAT is my problem with him!! Otherwise, if he feels like getting a tattoo of a woman’s in-betweens smack right dub on his forehead, let him be! His decisions, not my business! Tired of his idiotic antics. I hate to see TALENT going to waste!!

  23. I honestly don’t know what to say about Chris Brown. I was never a fan of his ad his so-called music doesn’t appeal to me as a nearly 40 year old man. If I was the average female in their early 20′s, I might understand…but no…

    *Cranks up Mint Condition’s “Music At The Speed Of Life”*

  24. Never been a fan of Chris Brown. Especially since his mama and nem convinced him that MJ died so that he could live and take his place. Yeah. No. -___-

    CB is a cracky/bathsalty mess but I believe him about the tattoo. That said, I will be glad when he and Rihanna get back together and cancel each other out. Figuratively or literally.

      • I’m just not there for this star-crossed lover bullsht that’s been perpetuated about these two.

        They are not Romeo and Juliet ripped apart by tragic circumstances. They are two kids that may have been/may still be in love with other that seem to have self-destructive personalties.

        Nothing special or worthy of all the scrutiny. If they want to fight or fck each other to death, let them. Keep them from destroying anyone else.

    • “That said, I will be glad when he and Rihanna get back together and cancel each other out. Figuratively or literally.”

      Nuclear bombs dropped.

    • His mama aka president of his fan club is cray cray. Her twitter is off the chain. She is drinking the kool-aid. She needs to get him help not blow up his ego.

  25. Just a question is he an only child?, last child, first child….? if answer is affirmative..this could answer a lot of his acting out(putting it politely)

  26. #9- It actually looks more like Kim K than Rihanna at all…(and it’s kinda fvcked up y’all are saying it’s Rihanna because the eye is black and the lip has a line across it..LOL?)

    “And what OTHER tats do you think Chris Brown should have considered instead of the one he chose?”

    1.L’Oreal logo (L’Oreal Feria #200 Bleach Blonde Hair Color )

    2. Bubbles (Michael Jackson’s monkey)

    3. The Lord’s Prayer

    I guess you can’t be extremely talented and consistently lucid. The more cool, rational and reasonable you are, the lower your chances for success. Time to get loose.

  27. I wonder if anyone realizes that even with Chris Browns Tattoos and his weird hair..he is EXACTLY the kind of guy Rihanna is attracted too…but no knocks on Rihanna right?

    • +1…we all fall short and at the end the day he is no different than a lot of lost young men out here.
      And Rhi-Rhi is like a lot of young women. Lord knows if my 35 year old self could go back to my 20 something self I would slap the mess out of me for the some of the decisions I made regarding men.

  28. What I think would be a far better choice would be a series of prolific black music artists in “before they blew up” photos or “back in the day photos if they already blew up”….He can have them as photo squares like it’s a yearbook:

    Prince: http://blog.bamm.tv/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/prince.jpg

    Michael Jackson (this is actually my homeboy’s FB avi): http://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/217831_4450263297604_2046848363_n.jpg

    Or this one of Michael:
    http://www.michaeljackson.com/sites/mjackson/files/imagecache/preview/photos/awwwwwwwwwwww!.jpg

    Or he can scrap that idea and get this:

    Grace Jones Iconic album cover: http://k-punk.abstractdynamics.org/archives/grace7.jpg
    or
    Funk Singer Betty Davis album cover: http://onehundreddown.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/folder.jpg?w=360&h=360

    ^These avante garde artists seem to be what he’s trying to emulate, but maybe these tattoos will remind him that he’s doing it wrong.

    • Just to add:
      I have done research, published a paper, and did my thesis on body adornment. I went from having an aversion to it, to being exposed to it greatly, seeing some great work, and really seeing the roots of it with indigenous people and the spiritual and culture significance of it. I also looked at the process and ritual of it. I have a good deal of respect and appreciation for body adornment artists, the art, the people who receive it and the story behind body adornment, even if it is all not my personal cup of tea (I’ve seen some ill stuff). Am I tatted up? No. I do have one, though. Getting that one, from previously having an aversion to it, and researching the process kind of opened my eyes to the topic.

        • Part of me was going to initially disregard that ice cream tat as some ol’ fooleywang, but it is an urban culture thing and in his mind he probably see’s it likened to a warrior who’s markings told something about him. Now to us, the ice cream cone may be ridiculous and soft, but to him he is “cold”, serving that soft serve, etc. etc. I am not one to disregard culture because it’s seen as common or hood. All culture has merit and hood culture does not always have to be ignorant and in particular is the birth of so much good (although I wouldn’t personally put the ice cream cone tat on that level).

      • Cultural and ritualistic body adornment is one thing. Amazing stuff. However, pop culture tattoo/piercing fads are another, as they are not born out of the same traditional and spiritual context. It’s trendy and fashionable, and much like members only jackets, hammer pants, and high top fades, it has an expiration date. It will go the way of the tongue ring and Karl Kani jeans suits in a matter of time.

  29. Just a note: Rihanna is good looking, not great looking but her 6ex appeal is off the charts. She is without a doubt one of the 5 6exist chicks in entertainment ( Yes, she’s 6exier than Bey and Alicia). Even the way she went about the little hug she gave Chris B. at the VMA’s was off the charts 6exy- The little head rub alone would have 75% of straight men- OPEN.

    • You are 100 on this one. She is beautiful – like countless other women – but her looks are equaled by most black an brown women on a night out in DC, ATL, Chi, La, etc. He sex appeal (which lasts longer) is greatly undervalued.

      • Same here lol. Guess it’s because I’m a skinny island girl that has no game whatsoever, so I tend to wonder what game another skinny island girl has that I don’t. Not hating on her, just curious as to how two skinny island girls can be perceived so differently by the same men. #kanyeshrug

        • Asyiah- What Rihanna has is the knowledge that she’s beautiful. Whether she actually is is of course subjective, but SHE knows she’s beautiful and exudes sexiness and confidence. As a couple of the guys here have written, there are plenty of non-famous women who could easily rival Rihanna as far as looks go. Because she’s confident though, she’s more attractive…period.

          I scanned your blog just now and can tell that confidence is something you’re lacking. I wouldn’t presume to tell you how improve this aspect of your life, but I will say that I’ve been in your shoes. And I’m sure you know, as I do, that a lack of confidence can affect every part of your life, not just relationships with men.

          • Not offended at all by your analysis and how you spelled my name wrong! LOL. But it’s hard to have that confidence when a guy acts like I’m the ugliest chick alive yet he’s sweating Rihanna’s butt lol. I got tattoos too, boys! Love me!!! LOL!

            (I’m not crazy like Rihanna nor am I addicted to drama. That should be a song lyric.)

  30. I think these two are still in love. You always want what you can’t have and being a star this must be painful for them both. Painful, that the world watched as their lives went twirling out of their control and public opinion took over and ended their relatinship for them. So, what we see now is a direct result of NOT having closure in a relationship.

  31. Chris Brown is an @sshole. That’s an asses-tat. Even if the tat is not Rhianna he/someone knew that PR wise a connection would be made. The take away for me is this: He knew what he was doing and he didn’t care because his behavior has been cosigned and validated by his victim, team, homies, mama, and record buying public….and really it is what it is. He’s not a unicorn. The world is in large part run by @ssholes. The “nice” guys get to complain about it and get a chance to play Superman, until they realize the RiRis of the world don’t want/need to be saved and are where they want to be. The guys “in the middle” help us feel like there’s a better tomorrow.

    I’m not “hating.” Nor am I victim blaming. But all signs say this kid is winning in the way some of us define winners. Despite what I hear and what I saw post beat down women young and old still love the dude. That tattoo is like his checkered flag. Perhaps I should be disgusted but I cant be disgusted by him anymore than the culture(s) that make him possible.

  32. Neck tattoos just say, “I’ve made it as far as a I care to in life. It’s downhill from here.”

    I don’t get why people knee-jerk stand up for the Breezies and Ocho-Cincos of the world. I’m sure you wouldn’t be so quick to be in his ring if it was YOUR face that looked banged up.

  33. You guys are crazy, talking about how Chris Brown and Rihanna should get back together. Those two ninjas never broke up to begin with, they just keep things on the (straight) DL. Rihanna tours through Europe, Chris just happens to “show up” in Berlin, Rome and Madrid. Chris goes to Australia, Rihanna manages to set up some interviews in New Zealand. They’re just a more violent version of “guy can’t stop cheating, girl spends too much money, break up in public and make up in private” couple.

  34. Pingback: Mitt Romney's Class Warfare | Day & A Dream

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>