10 Reasons Why You Should See The Best Man Holiday From the VSB Who Has Actually Seen It » VSB

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10 Reasons Why You Should See The Best Man Holiday From the VSB Who Has Actually Seen It

Yes, this again.

Yes, this again.

Last week, the wayward half of the VSB dream team wrote a post entitled, “Why I Really Don’t Want To See The Best Man Holiday (…Even Though I Probably Will)”. That Champ, what a card. Now I’m not saying that you shouldn’t listen to Champ’s opinion when it comes to seeing Black movies (in particular), but I feel like taking Champ’s advice on Black movies is like taking clipper guard advice from Lebron James; well intentioned but seeking a second opinion isn’t a bad idea. Now why would I throw my partner-in-crime under the bus in such a fashion? Welll…

…if you all will remember, this is a man who saw Love Jones for the first time two years ago due to his ambivalence but ended up loving it, then because of said newfound love proceeded to yell fire in a crowded theater with the post that proved that they really never should have given you nwords the Internet. If I’m not mistaken, he has yet to finish watching The Best Man and has admitted to being less than enthused with most Black cinema. With all that being said, I think it’s safe to say that I’m the one who will most likely, know, show, and care about what’s going on in the world of Black cinema, even though he will eventually love it all anyway.

Which brings us back to the lecture at hand. Not only have I seen The Best Man Holiday already, I’ve seen it twice. And you know what, I thought it was good the first time and really liked it the second time around. But that’s not the point of this post. This isn’t a review. You don’t need a review. Most of you are going to see it anyway because 1) there really isn’t that much else available in the way of Black movies; and 2) most of us actually loved the original even if half of you mofos swear you don’t do sequels DESPITE seeing every Batman movie that’s come out in the past five years. And yes, Viriginia, The Dark Knight Rises IS A SEQUEL.

So because I’m in a benevolent mood, I’m going to do two things. 1) I’m going to give you 10 reasons why you should go see the movie, because I totally have 10 reasons; and 2) if you live in the DC/Baltimore area, I’m trying to take you to the movies. Actually if you live in DC I’m going to go with you. If you stay in the Bmore area, I’ll send you but you’re on your own homey. Homey don’t do Baltimore. Shots fired.

So let’s start with 10 reasons why you should see The Best Man Holiday without providing a single spoiler.

1. After seeing the new one and revisiting the original movie, Quentin is easily my favorite character out of the entire cast. Now this could be because he reminds me of me, but my man is a bundle of fun, wisdom, bad decisions, and he’s not afraid to be himself. And you know what, I like that, and you will too. My man is a basket full of kittens.

2. You really aren’t ready for the emotional rollercoaster that this movie will take you on. No, seriously. But you want to go along for this ride. After the last screening I attended, one of my guests said to me, “I will see this movie 20 more times if you have more free passes…P, let me know because I can’t wait to see it again!”

3. Seeing some of your favorite actors get…old…is a bit offputting. But what you realize is how much time and effort they put into keeping themselves Hollywood-ready. The youngest people in the cast are Taye Diggs and Sanaa Lathan…and they’re both 42. Morris Chestnutt is 44 but is outchea putting 20 year old’s to shame. Point is, if you’re lonely it’s good to have some folks to grow old with. And Melissa De Sousa (Shelby) is STILL bad as all hell. I mean good lawd.

4. So you remember how everybody in the first film was almost abnormally successful? I mean I come from a clique of homeys where every last one of us has at least a Master’s degree, with a couple lawyers, and a few Ph.D’s sprinkled in. But The Best Man had homeys coming from money, an accomplished writer, an NFL star, and potential high powered attorney who just wanted to help the kids. The curiosity in me wants to know if they managed to maintain that level of welloffedness…I mean somebody has to crash and burn right? Right? Most times we never get answers, but since this movie features the same folks some umpteen years later…we get answers…and I want them. As do you.

5. For the ladies, Morris Chestnut.

6. For the fellas, girl fight.

7. This is going to be an interesting reason but creep with me. Since Tyler Perry hit the scene, it seems like every Black non-hood pseudo mainstream movie is either Tyler Perry-esque, or goes way out of its way to NOT be Tyler Perry-esque. So it’s interesting to see a movie with a similar team take another crack at a movie that debuted before Tyler Perry stepped on the scene all crispy and clean. It’s almost impossible to watch movies now without drawing some parallels either in favor of or against TP-isms. Point here, for the movie buffs in you, I need to talk to everybody about the TP effect. And there are a few scenes that reaaaaaaaaaally tow that line.

8. While Ray J made the term “smashed the homie” popular, Harp was the original purveyor of bringing that into Black pop culture zeitgeist. Sure everybody’s doing it now, but Harp started that sh*t. Aren’t you even a little bit curious about how that relationship between Lance and Harp turned out all these years later? My man Harp got Lance to the altar and married amidst flashbacks of his girl getting backshots. Are they still cool? Did they manage to make it past that? Inquiring minds would like to know.

9. For entertainment purposes, I’ve got four words: Lance and Mia’s kids.

10. Ultimately, despite what some of us claim, characters we love from movies become part of how we frame certain moments in our own lives. Sure we always wonder how their lives turn out because we invested time and energy into caring about them. So the opportunity to see what happens in the lives of folks we love is fun and exciting. Sure some people like to leave stories where they ended. That’s cool, and I’ll let them finish, but if movies could last for 27 hours, maybe they’d have included the very sequels that folks claim to not care about. But they can’t, so we get sequels. I’m like Joe, I wanna know. I want to know what happened to Harper and Robin. I want to know if Murch ran into T-Pain and told him he was in love with a stripper and inadvertently launched the career of Teddy Pinnedherassdown. Lance is a football player…did my man catch a concussion and have his lips sealed by the NFL settlement or catch a career ending injury and blew his dough and end up on the next ESPN 30 For 30 entitled Still Broke? Did Harper become this great writer with all the books and all the accolades? I mean he hit Oprah off his first book. Now what? Did Q get a real job?

What the f*ck happened?!?!?! I want to know. And so do you. Even if you don’t think you do. And do you know why? Because when Busta Rhymes said, “gimme some more…” you all repeated it. He was talking about The Best Man. I care and so do you dammit.

So yes we’ve already talked about this. And yes, Champ stole my thunder since I’ve actually seen it. Tweece. Twice. Whatever I hate these things.

So that’s my reasoning. Without dropping any spoilers, I really think you’ll enjoy it. My feelings came all out watching it both times. And look me in my face, I ain’t got no worries.

To complete the murder, I’m ALSO going to do some of y’all a solid because I liked it (and you all) so much. I’ve got 30 passes to give a away to an advance screening of The Best Man Holiday in the DC area for next Wednesday, November 13th. I’ve got 15 passes for the AMC Georgetown at 730pm and 15 passes for Cinemark Egyptian at Arundel Mills at the same time and date (November 13th, 730pm). Oh and each pass admits 2 people!!! You and a friend, boo!

You know you want to see it. And I’ll be at the DC screening so we can all watch it together. TWINSIES! Here’s what you need to do if you want one of the passes for you and a friend!

Send an email to panama.jackson@gmail.com telling me why I should give you a pass. Make sure you tell me which screening location you want to attend and what type of gift you will bring with you to give to me as well. I don’t need a soliloquy, like Luther Vandross…just give me a reason to want you back.

See you at the movies.

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka MR. LET’S GO TO THE MOVIES, LET’S GO SEE THE STARS aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3

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Panama Jackson

Panama Jackson is pretty fly (and gorgeous) for a light guy. He used to ship his frito to Tito in the District, but shipping prices increased so he moved there to save money. He refuses to eat cocaine chicken. When he's not saving humanity with his words or making music with his mouth, you can find him at your mama's mama's house drinking her fine liquors. Most importantly, he believes the children are our future. You can hit him on his hitter at panamadjackson@gmail.com.

  • Oshun

    I sho hope you are well compensated for this.

    On the aside, Morris Chestnut godiva chocolatte self, can GERRIT! Nia Long too!!

    • Michelle

      I don’t find Morris attractive due to the fact that he looks like an uncle of mine.
      In fact, I don’t think that I am chexually attracted to any black male celebrities.
      Oh wait… Henry Simmons…

      • *awaits the stampede of women wanting to go to Thanksgiving with your family to be…friendly with your uncle* :)

      • Camilleblu

        Chiiile…Henry Simmons can get it daily!

        • Oshun

          just, no! Oh em gee! No he is not gerring it. he has beautiful lips though. other than that…nooooooooo!

      • Rachmo

        Hahaha Henry Simmons is so beautiful and I am going to be above it all and not reference your uncle. But no seriously does your uncle look like him?

      • Oshun

        I’m only attracted to blackity black men….

        • kidvideo

          Are you talkin bout complexion or someone wit strong swagger?

          • Oshun

            Complexion!

      • miss t-lee

        I thought I was the only one who didn’t find Morris attractive. Straight Sahara.

    • panamajackson

      Ain’t no compensation. I just like Black movies and when the opportunity share said love with you all comes up, I takes advantage.

  • iamnotakata

    Sooo this “who saw Love Jones for the first time two years ago ” and this….. “if you live in the DC/Baltimore area, I’m trying to take you to the movies.” I feel some kind of way about this free99 movie watching I can’t partake in cuz I’m across country in overpriced everything California…And how you just saw Love Jones for the first time last year Champ lol

    • Kinghenry2007

      I saw it 2012, on Youtube

      • Movies on YouTube. Shout out to all of the uploaders that like to violate copyright infringement laws in order to serve the public. Your gratitude is very appreciated, LOL!

        • Kinghenry2007

          hahahhaa, imagine,i take a bow

        • Joanna

          Speaking of, for those who haven’t seen Love Jones, that’s still available via YouTube.

        • Huh Bruh

          Word. They get me through many a random workday.

    • kidvideo

      Well at lease u live in a state that’s culturally relevant…
      New York news = National News
      California news = National News
      Alabama news = Jay Leno monologue with banjo playing after the punchline.

    • panamajackson

      To quote Raphael Saadiq and D’Angelo…you should be here.

  • I need a fun movie to watch been a little down lately so I’ll go see this opening weekend.

    • Jay

      Lol at the down vote…

      • prob Yoles since she downvotes sad things lol

        • Yoles

          it was not me…
          @madlark:disqus feel better hon

    • panamajackson

      How y’all gon’ downvote my man talking about being down though? #coldblooded

  • nillalatte

    I stopped at #5. Sold. I will see this movie, but I don’t know when. The kids and I were going almost every weekend to the movies. Desert living is hot. Theatre’s are cool. But, black films in small, white majority towns. Hummm… I will have to observe to see if it is even being shown. Oh, the things I ponder.

    • Kinghenry2007

      at least you will get to hear what the actors are saying, unlike watching with your kinfolk *shots fired*

      • That is a serious issue. To this day I still dont know what happened in For Colored Girls….ugh.

        • and For Colored Girls is a movie that you only go see ONCE…you may never know lol

          • Yeah, cuz I am really not tryna sit thru it again…..from what I could hear thru the cackling and ki-ki’ing, the movie was essentially “Men are the devil and will ruin your life and kill yo babies” soooo nah.

            • kidvideo

              “Colored Girls” was more of an all-star horror film…the men should have been played by Freddy, Jason, The Halloween guy, and Leatherface…I’ll throw Candyman in there also to add some color to the mix.

              • lmao so sad but sooo accurate!!!

        • SuperStrings

          That’s why I stick to Dunwoody for movies that I actually want to see and follow. A comedy? Well, south side of town, here we come. lol

          • Camp Creek has got to be the WORST place to be on opening night for a black flick lol

            • SuperStrings

              Never been there. That side of town might as well be Florida ’cause I get to Florida about as much as I get down there.

              • Camp Creek and the SWATS is like NY, really. The farthest I get is Midtown and I turn back around once I hear Jeezy blasting.

            • nooo, Stonecrest. Ain’t nothing but black folk there.

      • panamajackson

        Amazingly, at both screenings I’ve been to thus far, the theaters were remarkably silent.

        • Kinghenry2007

          wow, our people have come of age..power to the people!!

  • Sloppy Chocolate

    Is it sad that the last time i went to the movies was to see the original???!!!!!

    • Sahel

      Nope,

    • Amethyst

      Yez

    • panamajackson

      I’m gonna go on ahead and say yes.

    • miss t-lee

      You gotta get out more. :)

  • PaddyfotePrincess

    I will check it out because I must see the fellas lip sync performance of “Can You Stand the Rain.”

    • Kinghenry2007

      they looked smooth

      • PaddyfotePrincess

        Yes they did – shiny blazers and all.

    • Dammit! I was hoping for either “If It Isn’t Love” or “You’re Not My Kind Of Girl”.

      • PaddyfotePrincess

        That was some of Jam & Lewis’ finest work. I miss them.

        • Yeah, that “Heart Break” album is a masterpiece. Surprisingly, Jam & Lewis are in their 50’s now- still producing. Their recent tracks were “Pure Gold” by Earth, Wind & Fire (Yep, they produced that song), a couple of songs on Johnny Gill’s recent album, a song on Boyz II Men’s recent album and something on Keyshia Cole’s “Calling All Hearts” and Usher’s “Raymond Vs. Raymond”.

          • PaddyfotePrincess

            I’m glad they’re still producing. Their first studio in Minneapolis was six blocks from my high school.
            Speaking of Boyz II Men, I saw their show in Vegas this past weekend and they put on a great show.

  • Kinghenry2007

    I repeat, I’m watching it, getting the dvd and causing 10 more people to watch It!!

  • Just Kia

    Nia Long needs her own line item

    • panamajackson

      I originally had one for her. But it as 2,000 words and they were all NSFW. So I scrapped it.

  • kidvideo

    I wonder if I’m the only one who caught that Eminem lyric in PJ’s post…

    Slightly off topic: Last week we were listing popular blk film soundtracks from the 90’s, and while ppl did list The Best Man sdtk, I thought of another one that I don’t think anyone mentioned…

    Panther(1995), about the founding the Black Panther Party…the sdtk wasn’t great but had some decent cuts.

    “FREEDOM”

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3jwRHmN6iLI

    “THE POINTS”

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_vroLokIrCo

    • And Blackstreet’s song “We Meet Again”- also known as the song that was supposed to be on “Another Level” but was taken off in favor of “The Lord Is Real”. WTF?!

    • Joel

      I caught the reference. Detroit vs. Everybody! lol

    • panamajackson

      Y’all remember how I used to throw lyics into every post. Yeah, that DC cat back at it.

      • miss t-lee

        Yeah, you gotta get back to that.

  • Quick question: Who going to die in the movie? I heard about a death and it intrigued me.

    Although it’s probably in bad taste for me to go to a movie about relationships and mine just ended abruptly. Oh well, they can’t all be winners!

    *Muttley snicker*

    • Maris

      **e-slides into closest bar stool, hands over a beer** Aw, boo.

      • I kinda saw it coming- just not that quick. The problem that was interfering with our relationship were her female friends- not all of them, but the ones who were either single or were involved in less than happy relationships. Being that she used to date bad boys, she decided to go in a different direction and her friends were stunned by her decision.

        Ever since we’ve been together, I’d had to deal with them getting in her ear the entire time we were together. Not helping matters was they would do this on a girls’ night out each time. After she was around them, she would start getting cold feet and have doubts about out relationship. Every time we spent quality time together, she would not hesitate to look on her phone to see and respond to each and every friend that called and texted her. I started to get annoyed at this being that it was becoming increasingly commonplace as time went on.

        She flaked on me two times before and I was going to pull the plug on it the second time, but my female friends convinced me to give it one last try. Less than two weeks after that, she celebrated her birthday by spending time with me and two days later, hanging out with the girls yet again. The following day, I got a call from her wanting to end things. Her reasons? She felt that she and I weren’t growing as a couple and she thought that she didn’t get that feeling of love that she wanted to feel. I was stunned as it did not sound like her and it was a complete 180 from what she had said two days earlier. It sounded like her friends were in her ear yet again and this time, I decided to air out with my grievances with her and her friends over the impending break-up. I let her have it being that I was tired of how she let her friends dictate her choices like that.

        What bothered me about the whole thing was how loyal she was to her friends- despite the fact she knows that more than half of them didn’t want to see her happy in any way. Most of them don’t really care about her and they want to use her and drag her along to everything that involves them. When she asked me if her colleagues put her up to this, she claimed it was solely her decision- despite evidence to the contrary. I should have realized early on that when it came to her friends, I was fighting a losing battle. I had no idea that they would have that level of influence on her personal life. It seems as if they want her to be their partner in all things partying and ratchetness, which is ironic considering that she claimed she wanted to get far away from that…apparently not, LOL!

        • Maris

          “Imma need something stronger, bartender!”
          What can I say, sometimes we suck. But on the bright side, sometimes we…uh, moving right along… :-)

          • “But on the bright side, sometimes we…uh, moving right along… :-)”
            Hmmm…care to elaborate? LOL!

        • JayIzUrGod

          PA, she was weak, end of the story.

          Now we.drink Jameson until the Statue of Liberty looks hot, Family Guy style.

          Nah seriously though, I’m impressed with your perseverance. I’ve been in this position and it just isn’t fair. You can’t compete with friends. If she has no faith in what you build with her, she has no faith in herself and saved you a headache. It hurts but so does everything else, but the pain always goes away.

          • It’s incredibly interesting I hear this narrative about ‘friends’ so often and I’ve never really seen it come into play in real life. It just goes to show you how different and non-monolithic women/men can be. Cheers to the newly single PA.

            • The reason you’ve never seen it come into play in real life is because you surround yourself with good people. Ever heard of the phrase “Misery loves company”? That could very well explain the situation between her and her friends.

            • Rachmo

              I can’t handle being surrounded by basic bishes. This is why this has not happened to me either.

            • Camilleblu

              Yeah…I hear that a lot also…but I really don’t have those kinds of “friend” issues. Sorry PA…but trust – you don’t want a woman that is controlled by her friends.

              • I see that now, Camilleblu. Oddly enough, I heard songs like Jon B’s “They Don’t Know”, Chico DeBarge’s “Listen To Your Man” and Ideal’s “Jealous Skies” and thought stuff like this only happens in songs. Men having to duke it out with the friends of their girlfriends? Who does that??? Well, I am living proof that it does indeed happen, sadly…

                • EXACTLY! lol, I always heard it in songs and thought, This is the stuff of myths!

                  • I see you’re new around here. Apparently, my marriage is the Gold Standard of Horrible Black Marriages ™. Have the OGs tell you a few stories. LOL

              • Funny enough, my BFF married somebody secretly, told all her friends afterward because she didn’t want to hear any lip (they’d had a slight history of violence and anger issues), and then she ended up divorcing him a year later. In those cases, friends can be invaluable, b/c I know every last one of us would’ve warned her to think twice.

            • JayIzUrGod

              Friends can be your downfall because for too many people, history>present & future. Some people just don’t realize not all thinfs are meant to last forever and that the same people that were your homies in high school will be the same people to call the cops on you as an adult.

              • 321mena123

                Mine have grown with me. That’s when you know if they are keepers or if they need to bounce. We haven’t grown at the same time or as fast but we have grown through the years. We are not the same people we were 5 years ago or 10 years and for my best friend almost 20 years ago and no one should be.

                • JayIzUrGod

                  Exactly. When one remains the same as they were, time to cut them loose

          • I was more surprised at the fact that she could stand up to everyone else but them- and she knew they weren’t exactly the most reliable sources when it came to love and relationships. In fact, one of her best friends had done the unthinkable in a drunken stupor. About three weeks earlier, her friend interrupted our makeout session and later seduced a family member into sleeping with her. In her mind, she felt that this was okay due to having a nasty fight with her significant other over her alcohol consumption. The whole time her friend was sleeping with her family member, she was induced in to a deep sleep. Even after all of this caused a potential fallout, she still remained by her friend’s side and barely reprimanded her for her actions.

            • Women lean on their friends on a level most dudes don’t really get. Women with great friends can do things that are incredible, but women with crummy friends can be pulled to h3ll. Women need validation from their friends a lot, and if they get validated for destroying themselves, they’ll go out and do it because they crave that validation. There’s nothing you can do about it.

              • “Women need validation from their friends a lot, and if they get validated for destroying themselves, they’ll go out and do it because they crave that validation.”

                Sadly, this was the primary source of trouble between me and her.

              • Oshun

                women need validation from their friends a lot…..lies you tell!

              • JayIzUrGod

                Women need validation period, that’s why they require so many different forms of attention. Meet a woman who requires none and she either murders people for living or just very content with herself.

                • OSHH

                  Not every woman is that weak, I have never looked to another woman to validate me, EVER.
                  Matter fact I don’t look to men to do that either, true validation comes from a much higher source.The generalizations on here though WOW. Makes me wonder what type of women these dudes know, have known associate with etc

                  • Sahel

                    Lawyers ?

                    • OSHH

                      That’s an occupation LOL

                  • JayIzUrGod

                    Wrong of me to generalize, spni admit fault in that

                    But i was taught since a young age thay women seek validation more so than men, and I’ve experienced this at every turn of my life. Should you be the opposite, that’s awesome then, but just watching a common television commericial aimed at women for beauty products for example proves my point.

                    I sincerely believe the issue is based on maturity and shedding the common beliefs of yore that used to work when women were held back.

                    • It’s beauty products though. Women wearing makeup isn’t seeking validation just like men wearing Old Spice or shaving their faces isn’t seeking validation.

                    • JayIzUrGod

                      In school, i had read a couple dozen journals specifically on female objectives, and a few articles had to do with how companies use psychology to get people to buy their products. For feminine products, many companies use imagery that show “you’ll look pretty, feel great, get that man you want if you use these products”. The experiments all asked a sample study of questions and most of the time, the results were fairly accurate to the predictions.

                      Personally, i think all humans seek validation. That is the nature of society, to be assigned a position and then compare yourself to others to define that position. Do i think it is skewed way more for women than men? Yes. Women syarted out as second class citizens in most of the world and as far as we come, those practices still go on. Do i think anyone can outgrow this archaic belief system? Of course, that’s the point of VSB. But that’s still based on maturity,and we know not all people are mature despite their age. Do u think when my girl does it for me or other men? She tells me 50% for me, 50% for her. I know that’s how i feel when i dress nice and go out with her.

                      I hope that answers everything.

                    • OSHH

                      The fact that women are judged on beauty or lack thereof and companies market products to women so they can feel beautiful and youthful has nothing to with validation.

                    • JayIzUrGod

                      Sure. You keep thinking that. Their marketing research proves otherwise

                    • The research shows that women are paying for their products. You’re reaching.

                    • JayIzUrGod

                      Sure i am. Google the sh* t yourself if you don’t believe me.

                    • OSHH

                      Sho’ u right (in Chuck voice), you mixin up concepts, but I tried LOL

                    • JayIzUrGod

                      Aye I’m not going to pretend that the topic isn’t bad. It is. But if anyone thinks my opinion isn’t something that millions of others haven’t thought before, then that’s a lie.

                      Point is though, far as i can tell, if you’re human and live within society, 60% of what makes you who you are is based off the validation you’ve recieved from others your whole life, from family to friend to enemies. Saying otherwise can’t be realistic because how else can you define yourself without taking multiple opinionsand beliefs from others and then formulating your own?

                    • OSHH

                      I think the opinions help reinforce not define, they affirm rather than validate imho.

                • oh ok….

                  • JayIzUrGod

                    Did i go overboard? Yes. So what i typed wasn’t the best way to go about it.

                    • You’re entitled to your opinion bruh. I just disagreed with it as did two other people I’m assuming.

                    • JayIzUrGod

                      It is what it is still, i can be a bit mpre mindful how i say stuff

                    • I’ll never understand why people boo boo on women who wear make up, low cut shirts, tight pants, etc. I wear none of those for validation from men. I’d get attention if I were wearing a trash bag and Payless tennis shoes.

                    • JayIzUrGod

                      Old habits die hard, especially if people keep using stereotypes as tradition.

            • JayIzUrGod

              Because she was scares. She’d rather remember the good ole days than realize her friends are poison now. So that’s her downfall but there’s no reason to follow her. I’ve had the same issues before, having women give me a hard time about things that were technically their responsibility but since their salty a$$friends wree in their ears, no.amount of reason would get through.

          • You know what’s so funny though? Most of my female friends said that she will start calling me back. The reason being is that either she will be lonely or have time to think about what she just did on account of listening to her friends- despite the fact that she ended the relationship. However, at this point, I’m not sure if I want to even see her again.

            • Rachmo

              Yeah that will happen.

              • …and it is Pure. Comedy. GOLD!!! when that happens. I mean the lines and the BS are HI-larious. Part of me just wants to put them down to put them out of their misery.

                • Rachmo

                  RIGHT? You are looking at your phone and wondering if your being crank called. Like umm this isn’t middle school it doesn’t work like this.

              • 321mena123

                Yep. Give it two weeks max. It will be a “I just wanted to check in” type conversation.

                • Rachmo

                  You just nailed it

                • JayIzUrGod

                  Well tell that b*tch to sign the check-in list and wait 2 hours to see the doctor then.

            • SuperStrings

              Never move backward.

              • Oshun

                never say never.

                • SuperStrings

                  I already have, and I regretted it every time. lol

            • Oshun

              awwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!! she IS going to call. Hear her out, then think about giving it another go. This time around, there will be boundaries, rules and regulations that she will have to follow….otherwise, it’s overrrr!! She made your writing glow like shea burra does to an ashy body.

              • Rachmo

                For real I don’t do break up to make up. I did it once and it was a terrible three years. If you breakup with me it’s not meant to be.

              • JayIzUrGod

                Nah man, she ain’t ready, she’s got some soul searching to do.

            • JayIzUrGod

              No you don’t need to speak with her. Its best to move on, she isn’t ready to change, so she would just regress the first minute she was given a chance to.

              We talk about this all the time, there’s no time limit to maturity. People just figure sh*t out when the time comes. She is stuck in the past with her friends, she’s not ready for the present or the future. More so, she’s not ready to be completely alone.

            • Shamira

              Stop speaking my life, though, PA.

            • Val

              You have resentments now, so even if she does call and you see her there is going to be a little voice in your head telling you to hold back. And that’s a relationship killer.

              • Rachmo

                That is indeed the risk with the breakup. You think you get over it but many times you can’t stop thinking about how things went down.

        • If she wanted to date her friends, then let her…..lonely bishes cant STAND to see another bish happy.

          You dodged a bullet tho, cuz that co-dependence on her friends for major decisions in her life shoulda ended around the 10th grade, That was immaturity rearing its ugly head, and you are better off without it. **kisses**

          • Ironically, she claimed to want to be in a serious relationship, be committed, get married and be happy. As long as her friends continue to be in the picture, that will never happen. Sadly, they are the source of a lot of her troubles, but she refuses to limit her contact with any of them.

            • Her loss. Cant save a damsel if she loves her distress.

              • afronica

                Boom. Shaka. Also, Laka.

            • afronica

              She’s torn between what she reads in Essence and the poison her friends drop in her ear. No, seriously.

              • Val

                Essence seems like it’s written by people who hate Black women. Sigh.

                • And it’s written by Black women. Self-hatred is a mother.

                • afronica

                  Revoke my Black card and shame the debil, but I haven’t actually picked up an Essence in a while. When they went through that whole staff shed and white Editor in Chief thing, I stopped messing with them.

                  Why do you think it sounds like Black women haters-r-us? Sincerely asking.

                  • Val

                    Because they are always giving advice I’d give to someone I didn’t like. For instance, telling women to meet guys in strip clubs. WTF?! I mean it’s okay to go to them if that’s your thing but really do you want to meet guys there? Seems like low hanging fruit to me.

                    They give a lot of passive-aggressive advice like that. And, Essence is run by Time, inc. which means the mag has/ had a White male overseer and that’s not good for a Black women’s mag.

                    All of those editorial position shenanigans also made me give them the super-side-eye.

                    • afronica

                      Srsly? Meet him in the strip club? How do I get him to approach – clap it? Smh. I guess this is why I haven’t been reading it.

          • 321mena123

            Truth. Co-dependence is a no no.

        • For you PA. Apparently this is a rough week for tall VSBs.

          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dSJxvi767kQ

        • Rachmo

          Those trifling a$$ bit…ok let me pull back. This lady you were dating was not ready for an adult relationship.

        • SuperStrings

          Well I know this girl named Tequila, and she’s pretty good at making you forget about ex’s, at least for a little while. Double shot for you dude.

          • Back in 2008, I had a bad experience with a girl named Tequila (A person, not a drink, LMAO!!). Some Patrick Ronald (AKA Patron) please, LOL!

        • 321mena123

          This is sad. Doesn’t she have a little baby? I would hope that she wanted stability and someone to come home to that loves and appreciates her. I know it hurts but move on. No one should allow for others to dictate their choices. It’s one thing to have a friend say their piece and then they let you do with it whatever you want but it’s an entirely different thing to allow for someone to want to see you unhappy. AND she’s in her 30s?!? Allowing for 20 year olds to dictate her choices? I can’t today.

          • Yeah, that’s about the size of it. It’s a sad case of the tail wagging the dog, in my opinion.

        • OSHH

          I only have one question, how old is this brawd?!?
          I guess it don’t matter though because if you are a follower, easily influenced and or a codependent person then age matters not. It is more personality type I guess.
          Sometimes we have to be happy for what we escaped.

          • afronica

            “I only have one question, how old is this brawd?!?I guess it don’t matter though because if you are a follower, easily influenced and or a codependent person then age matters not. It is more personality type I guess.”

            Please, get out of my head, m’am. This was exactly what I was thinking!

        • Shamira

          *sidles up to bar in low-cut top* so, PA….what is this I recall about you being a Leo? LOL.

          In all seriousness, I’m sorry to hear that. There’s nothing more tiring than someone who’s totally beholden to their friends opinions after a certain age. Nobody should be invested in your own happiness more than yourself. She seems to be determined to learn that lesson the hard way. This is why I tend to shy away from constantly blabbering my personal business until I’ve dang near made a decision for myself already.

          People view loyalty all wrong. Yes loyalty is important…but not at the detriment of your own personal growth. I tell people all the time now, if its between my peace of mind and yours, I’m picking me dang near every time. And thats for friends AND family. It took me a LONG time to learn that lesson.

          • Maris

            **knocks stool out from under Shamira**
            No Leo for you!!

            • Yoles

              I’m saying… she can not have everyone…

              • Shamira

                :(

                • Yoles

                  no pouting…

                  ____________________

                  line.drawn

            • Shamira

              why you keep blocking me from greatness? First PJ, now PA…

              • Maris

                I slid my consolation bosom into the bar first!!
                **hisses**

        • panamajackson

          Sucks to hear broseph.

        • Agatha Guilluame

          I don’t want to jump on the bandwagon and condemn homegirl just yet because it’ll be real awkward around here if you guys get back together.

          So for now I’ll say, don’t do anything rash like follow Todd’s advice and keep an open mind if and when you two decide to talk because no one’s perfect. Not even you.

          • Sahel

            I second. The woman did make him happy. He was writing glowing posts till i was wondering if it was the same P.A. In chess there is only one way to win,a checkmate. So before the game ends bro.am sure there are a few more moves to play. Sacrifice a knight to get the queen

        • h.h.h.

          sorry to hear, sir.

          *slides over a 4 Horseman*

          *teleports back into FZ*

      • Yoles

        I’m so sorry to hear that PA… the possibilities are infinite though… ((((Hugs))))

        • Honestly, I didn’t expect this to happen. As one Shawn Carter said, it was all good just a week ago…

          • Yoles

            this might not be the end.. sometimes ppl need to see the forest AND the trees… keep an open mind and heart…

    • **hugs** what the crap!! **pulls you into my lil cleavage**

      • That’s the same thing I said when I got the phone call on Saturday.

        • Michelle

          I was about to say that I know a few tough chicks who has no futures and social security numbers that can have… A talk with your ex.
          No?
          Okay.
          (goes back to dancing the “Molly Ringwald” to La Roux’s “In For The Kill”)

          • Nah, that won’t be necessary, LOL! At the rate she’s going with her and her friends, she doesn’t need any help to be destructive, LMAO!!

    • Them short women ain’t sh*t I tell ya. Hey, I may share a prospect of mine with you. :) She’s 6’3″ in flat feet and probably outweighs you, but has lovely curves. :) Sharing is caring my dude. Besides, you were probably going to break ol’ girl in two one night in bed.

      • The shade you throw on short women will not be forgotten **headbutts you in the kneecaps**

        • Rachmo

          BUT KNEECAPS HAHAHAHA

        • Awww…you remind me of my daughter when you do that. LOL

          • I got a knuckle sammich for you on Saturday lol

        • Shamira

          what about your shade against women with booties??? I SAW YOU HATIN’ ON IG BUNNI

          http://ajsupreme.files.wordpress.com/2011/12/evelyn.gif

          • Well, look at her artwork? Those bishes don’t really have a$$. Trust me, none of them could make my Tumblr. Then again, I’m known for having…exacting standards. :)

          • It was overdue shade…..AWL MAH LYFE I had to defend my cute lil booty!!! Just cuz its big dont mean its nice to look at!!! and just cuz its small dont mean it cant be EVERYTHANGGGGG

            • Shamira

              but you had to show that decrepit behind fa wut?? that ish looked like the inside of a cancerous lung!

              But I agree, little booties do NOT mean flat booties. Flat booties be the worst, #doe.

              • I had to show pics that drove the point home….theres chicks outchea with a booty that looks like a bagful of fists thinking they look better than mine by default….nuh uh hunty.

                No country for pancake azz tho. None.

                • Shamira

                  That woman needed to do some squats, leg lifts, something….get that behind looking proper. The ish was just dragging on the floor like a sad dog!

          • SuperStrings

            Hey no shade necessary. There’s enough love to go around for all booty types. There are some trick booties out there though. What you see isn’t always what you get.

            • I’m proud of my Bunni bewty. Just gotta be proud of what the Lawd gave ya lol

              • SuperStrings

                It’s not like you were dealt a bad hand. lol

            • Shamira

              Thats cuz y’all be looking at Jeans. You gotta peep the bewty in dresses! Gives you a much more accurate perspective.

              • SuperStrings

                We don’t have any control over what ya’ll wear though. Just gotta play the odds sometimes. Every now and then you crap out.

      • I just knew a short woman joke was coming from you, LMAO!!!! Just for the fun of it, I’ll just start cracking on short women because it’s something to do, LOL! I’m kidding!!!!

    • Rachmo

      Boooooo. I’m sorry PA.

      • I tried, Rachmo…really I did. But if someone’s taking advice from someone who hasn’t had a healthy relationship, it’s not much you can do, you know?

        • Rachmo

          I really have to question her maturity. Even when I was single and my friends came to me with real issues about their relationships, they did so bc I would NEVER say you’d be better off without him. I just cannot be that friend unless the guy is a total d*ck. So this really perplexes me.

          • I questioned her maturity as well. It seems to me that despite her being in her early 30’s, she still wants to be young again. Not helping matters is that her friends are all in their early to mid 20’s. That should have been a red flag right there, LOL!

            • Rachmo

              Omg PA I am so mad right now that I cannot be sitting next to you in a bar. I can’t even with all this. She is in her early 30s! That’s when you are woman hear you roar! She still needs to grow. In the meantime it is best this happened now and not when you were in deeper(engaged).

            • Bend those friends over, get out the prophylatics and ROLL TIDE on their short a$$es. Or do you prefer WAR EAGLE!

              • Todd…….Breezy isnt here so idk if the corner has been opened yet….but take this advanced purchase ticket and wait for her to send you there!!!

                • Why is this corner worthy? Ever hear of revenge $ex? :D

            • Age aint got nan to do with maturity. We all have to get older, but being wiser is optional apparently.

              • 321mena123

                But it is kinda strange to ONLY have friends in a completely different younger age bracket.

                • Thats the first red flag…..you’re pushing 35 and all your besties are 24? Hmmmm….. birds of a feather man……

                • Well, when I met my wife, her friends were all 20+ years older than her, with only one within 10 years. Hindsight being 20/20, that was strange too.

              • Sahel

                Not me,i have that Dorian Gray magic

          • afronica

            I find myself walking that line with my friends. One of my girls is involved with a guy and wondering when the ring will arrive. He’s a good person, but I’m just not sure he will be capable of the maturity it takes to be a good husband. When I talk with my girl, I try to always keep in mind that I don’t have anyone currently, so my opinion may not be the best. I try to look for the compromise that will makes things work. It ain’t always easy to do.

            • Rachmo

              Oh girl I was ALWAYS the advice guru despite the fact I was #foreveralone. I’ll assume people just see you as a neutral party since it seems you don’t try to keep your friends Strong Black and Single.

              Personally, I hate the convos you’re talking about though bc with marriage you don’t want someone to take a hard “L.” I completely disagreed with my friend about walking down the aisle but all I said was “If you’re sure then ok let’s do this.” I figured in the end it was her life and I’d just have to support whatever happened.

    • 321mena123

      What happened?

    • Sahel

      Sorry dude. Love is about chance and you took it; It is better to have loved and lost

    • panamajackson

      I wouldn’t ever tell you if somebody did catch a fade in the movie. That would be rude. And sorry to hear that broseph.

    • afronica

      PA, I am really sorry to hear this. You’ve been sounding so happy and maybe peaceful is the right word? From what you said about this situation, she just wasn’t ready for an adult relationship. And the reasons she gave you for the break up don’t ring true.

      You get a one time pass to motorboat the double d’s.

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