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In the grand scheme of things, there’s not much funnier in life than Drake getting punched by Diddy in Miami during Art Basel. For one, while I can see Puffy slappin’ everybody out here back in the 90s, he just seems a bit over that at this point in life, which is part of what makes it so funny. And two, well, while Drake has been tagged the emo rapper, he’s also made it clear how “’bout that life” his clique is. If you’ll all turn your rap bibles to “Headlines” Verse 1, Lines 11-13:
You know good and well that you don’t want no problems like that
You gon’ make someone around me catch a body like that
No don’t do it, please don’t do it, cause one of us goes in then we all go through it.
Well, after the alleged maylay, Drake…left. Nobody caught a body. Nobody in his crew got into it. They did not all go through it. It just ended. Puff allegedy even went back to partying because he’s a motherfucking G like that. Obviously, nobody really ever suspected Drake (or his crew for that matter) of being hardbody, but its funny when you get the opportunity to play out your tough guy lyrics and then you just…leave. In simpler terms, Puff knew that he COULD slap Drake.
That…is high comedy. The first reports stated it was over some comments that Drake made about Cassie, but then reports said that it was all business – or as business as slapping somebody can be – where Puff even made some comment to the tune of , “you won’t direspect me” before laying them holy hands on the young boy. By the way, if you ever here a nigga yell “you won’t disrespect me”…
Something is going down. This is biblical.
Anyway, while all we know is that Diddy felt disrespected for some reason, we don’t really know what about. But I’m a speculationist. I speculate shit. So here are 10 possible reasons why Diddy may have slapped the shit out of Drake.
1. When “All About The Benjamins” came on, Drake kept repeatedly saying “…it’s all about the Borden’s baby…” during the chorus, sending Puffy into a blind rage at the level of disrespect to one of the greatest songs in the history of hip-hop music and also one of the few white men that all Black men universally trust in Benjamin Franklin. And we don’t let Canadians disrespect our art form or trusted white men. By the way, Robert Borden is the man on the Canadian $100 bill in case that context wasn’t clear.
2. Drake told Puff that the woman on the other end of the phone call on “Marvin’s Room” was Cassie and he stole the audio and idea from Ryan Leslie after Leslie lost his laptop in Germany in 2010. Since he didn’t need the money he gave the laptop to some dude who ended up being owed $1.2 million dollars since Drake ain’t need the money.
3. Drake said that Puffy’s mother needs a new hairdo.
4. Puff noticed that in every song where Biggie referenced him, Drake replaced “Puff” with “Drake” like Puff wasn’t standing right there partying with him. This annoyed him.
5. Puff overheard Drake say that he agrees with Nas that Bad Boy bit his Illmatic album cover idea for Biggie’s Ready To Die album cover and said that Nas really is the last real nigga alive. It’s official.
6. Drake was working on a song with Cassie but took her off and put Jhene Aiko on it instead citing, “they sound the same but nobody remembers who Cassie is so get the fuck over it.”
7. Drake was joking that Puffy may be a big deal, but Ray J would never show up at his house to play piano for him like he’d do for Floyd.
8. Drake was talking to a possible signee to Bad Boy and said, “I’m not saying, but I’m saying: 112. Mase. G-Dep. Black Rob. Dream. Loon. The Lox. I’m not saying, but I’m saying.” Obviously, Puff overheard this. I’m just saying.
9. Drake said that Sean John was the 5th worst clothing line of all time behind Unionbay, JNCO, and Bugle Boy, and whoever the fuck was making MC Hammer’s clothes.
10. Drake said that he should make Puff walk to Junior’s to get him some cheesecake after Puff spilled some Moet on his Red Wings.