10 Possible Places Trump Found The Random Group Of Niggas With Him During His Black History Month Press Conference » VSB

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10 Possible Places Trump Found The Random Group Of Niggas With Him During His Black History Month Press Conference

Michael Reynolds/Pool/Getty Images

 

1. The Random Group Of Niggas Store — a store which specializes in providing random groups of niggas for people who require random groups of niggas for various purposes

2. The break room of a Sage Steele fan club membership committee meeting

3. A lottery choosing numbers 17 through 31 on the posters in every Black barbershop and beauty salon

4. A sweep of all the people who drove to KFC drive-thrus last night at 9:43pm — rushing to get there before it closed at 10:00pm — and were told at the window that they already ran out of chicken (but still had some coleslaw and shit if they wanted that instead) and were so pissed about it that they screamed “I HATE BLACK PEOPLE!!!” and actually meant it this time

5. A collection of the 17 Black parents remaining today who, in 2017, still require their children to read Gifted Hands 

6. A support group comprised of Steve Harvey’s ex-tailors

7. All the people who tried to get to church Sunday but couldn’t make it in time to get a seat and mistakenly thought the Trump press conference was where the overfill was

8. A reunion of real-life descendants of Stephen from Django Unchained

9. A gathering of all the grown-ass Black people forced to take home sad-ass Thanksgiving plates last year after showing up to dinner late as fuck and having the audacity to walk through the door and not greet everyone and act all funny acting all night long but still think they’d be able to go home with more than a slice of turkey skin and a tablespoon of peas

10. The Random Niggas With No Sense Store — a store which specializes in providing random niggas with no sense for people who require random niggas with no sense for various purposes

Damon Young

Damon Young is the editor-in-chief of VSB. He is also a columnist for GQ.com And he's working on a book of essays to be published by Ecco (HarperCollins). Damon is busy. He lives in Pittsburgh, and he really likes pancakes. Reach him at damon@verysmartbrothas.com. Or don't. Whatever.

  • Courtney Wheeler

    Yeah I need someone to show the black community some receipts…
    This picture ain’t sitting well with me.

  • Jaron Evans

    I don’t think I’ve ever seen a table so full of sell-outs in my life. They even had the audacity to do this on the first day of Black History month. These are the bougie black people I can’t stand in the world

    • mr. steal your costco samples

      TOP GANG THUGS

      FREDERICK DOUGLASS DID A GREAT JOB, MORE AND MORE PEOPLE ARE FINDING OUT ABOUT HIM ALL THE TIME

      • tamkat

        Oh no, he didn’t say Frederick Douglass “DID” a good job (past tense), Trump said he’s BEEN DOING a good job (present tense), as in, does Trump think he is still alive?/ clearly had never heard of Douglass until the other day (probably yesterday).

        • mr. steal your costco samples

          show him a picture of bill russell, see if he can tell the diff

        • LMNOP

          Hahaha, that is hilarious, he thinks Frederick Douglass is alive.

        • Kas loves Jamaican Breakfast

          You mean this morning?

        • Cheech

          “Has done ….”
          No. Fucking. Idea.

        • Jennifer

          He just met with MLK, Jr. according to Sean Spicer. Maybe they have a time machine.

          • BrothasKeeper

            I wouldn’t put that past President Biff Tannen.

  • Sigma_Since 93
  • 1. Megabus stops
    2. Loitering outside of a church waiting for the Single’s ministry to let out
    3. Your uncle’s house
    4. Your aunt’s house
    5. Auditions for random reality TV shows
    6. That random old black dude who always shows up at Confederate Flag rallies in SC house.

    • Lex

      #2 literally made me spit my water out lmao

    • neodymium

      Megabus! lol

  • Negro Libre

    Most of the people at the table, had ties to black churches, even Omarosa is an ordained minister. Looks like that Faith-Based Initiative from the Bush administration still has some sway.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9402e9e0c4e3862aa647bc33a6602160aaa21a70542f89d5839026f5c9e92b46.png

    Source: http://www.journalism.org/files/legacy/faith-based%20initiative%20in%20the%20news_final.pdf

    • The black church’s conservative streak pre-dates W’s admin. I’ve heard some disturbing thing uttered by some church folk.

      • Brooklyn_Bruin

        I’ve heard the most hateful things, reminding me of the worst Chris Rock bit

      • Negro Libre

        True, but we’re also one of the most Christian-ish demographics in the U.S. There’s a big gap between saying disturbing stuff and voting for Darth Maurice from Planet of the Apes

        • “There’s a big gap between saying disturbing stuff and voting for Darth Maurice from Planet of the Apes”

          You say that but I’m not shocked at all.

          • Negro Libre

            Yeah, but if that was true, the votes for Republicans election to election, would be way higher, given the percentage of blacks who are pretty religious.

      • Linda Pritchard

        …and you know they ain’t really conservative. Just overly judgmental and haven’t been caught doing what they are judging–yet. (with my eyes narrowed and my lips pursed in that umm hmm way)

    • Hugh Akston

      Don’t remember the last time I went to a church just for a service only weddings and funerals beyond that they can keep their shenanigans

  • mr. steal your costco samples

    THEE pastor who was like “top gang thugs” reached out to him had me HOWLING.

    TOP GANG THUGS

    is there, like, a leaderboard, like the PGA?

    • Jaron Evans

      What had me was the pastor is from Cleveland, but he said gang leaders in Chicago reached out to him. Are there no more churches in Chi-town?

      • Cori Hoston

        This pastor has no more flock in Cleveland. ..Yo, they raised up on this fool in Cleveland. He lost that church and everything. ..fool

      • refslady

        He’s “walked it back” and confessed to having “misspoke”. He said he said it because he was tired. And yes, all the pastors in Chicago rose up and said WHY would someone reach out to YOU in Cleveland?

    • miss t-lee

      "Hi, it's us, the top gang thugs. Can you get in touch with Donald Trump? Because this is ridiculous" https://t.co/wuZsGIubeq— Creed Bratton (@NIGNORAMUS) February 1, 2017

      This just gave me all of the cackles.

  • Val

    11. A Chrisette Michele concert.

    • Janelle Doe

      hahah. YES.
      I just asked why she was not on the list of attendees up above

    • ChokeOnThisTea

      Girl, you beat me to it! I was gonna say a Kanye concert, but ain’t no black folk out there. Lol!

      • Cheech

        Hey tea! Where you been?

        • ChokeOnThisTea

          Cheech!!! I’m busting my @$$ In school. ??

          • Kas loves Jamaican Breakfast

            Someone had to do it.

            • ChokeOnThisTea

              Keep me in y’alls’ prayers. Lol

          • Nicolejsuazo

            Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !sb130c:
            On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
            !sb130c:
            ??
            ??;?? http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash420WebVisionGetPay$97Hour ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????::::::!sb130c:….,……

    • ChokeOnThisTea

      Girl, you beat me to it. I was gonna say a Kanye concert, but ain’t no black folk out there.

    • Mary Burrell

      You beat me to it.

    • SororSalsa

      Yeah, but Darth Cheeto might have actually shaken these negroes hands before the door hit them on the way out.

    • World’s Moistest Jheri Curl

      witty

    • King of Narnia

      Stacy Dash’ Sunday dinner.

  • FeeFee

    This is just one big photo opt.

    • miss t-lee

      They should just hand him a shovel and tell him to dig.

      • BrothasKeeper

        A special court should appoint El Chapo “designated killer” for just these situations. Transfer him to jails across America, and just add water. WAH-LAH!

        • miss t-lee

          Magic!

    • Val

      Have they set his death date yet? That’s all I want to know about him at this point.

      • No. He still has to go on trial on the state level.

        • Val

          Sigh.

        • Cheech

          Plus the automatic appeal in capital cases, etc, yada yada ….

          (It really is cheaper to keep him in prison for life. Not that I’m advocating that.)

          • Furious Styles

            Nah. Put his a$$ in gen pop.

  • Brooklyn_Bruin

    Let’s get some names, and turn our collective backs on them, as they have turned their backs on us.

    • Jaron Evans

      Here’s the names:
      Mr. Armstrong Williams, Howard Stirk Holding Broadcast Group
      Mr. Darrell Scott, Pastor, New Spirit Revival Council
      Ms. Belinda Scott, Wife of Darrel Scott
      Mr. James Davis, National Diversity Coalition
      Mr. Gerard T. Robinson, American Enterprise Institute
      Mr. Earl Matthews, Lt. Col US Army (Retired)
      Mr. Paris Dennard, Thurgood Marshall’s College Fund/ CNN Contributor
      The Honorable Bill Cleveland, Former Vice Mayor of Alexandria, VA, Retired Capitol Hill Police Officer
      Mrs. Ruth Cleveland
      African American Members of the Trump Administration
      Ms. Omarosa Manigault, Director of Communications, OPL
      Mr. Landon Davis, Department of the Interior
      Mr. Ashley Bell, Department of State
      Ms. Lynne Martine Patton, Department of Housing and Urban Development
      Mr. Daris Meeks, Director of Domestic Policy, OVP
      Mr. Ja’Ron Smith, Domestic Policy, Urban Development and Revitalization
      Ms. Mary Elizabeth Wells, Political Affairs
      Ms. Leah LeVell, Communications
      Ms. Monica Alexander, OPL
      Ms. Kara McKee

      • Brooklyn_Bruin

        *cuts and pastes below Harvey, Kanye, Carson, Pierson, and Dash*

      • miss t-lee
        • mr. steal your costco samples

          ARMSTRONG WILLIAMS

          …still pimpin’ after all these yurs

          • Negro Libre

            That ninja stays under the radar lol

            • mr. steal your costco samples

              yeah, compared to Armstrong, all these other nlqqas just window shoppers

          • miss t-lee

            For real. He’s been at it for a whole minute now.

      • Janelle Doe

        wait, where is Chrisette Michelle?

        • Kas loves Jamaican Breakfast

          So fucked up.

        • NomadaNare

          Singing the black song Spike Lee wouldnt sing I suppose

      • Giantstepp

        So, Ray “All Lives Matter” Lewis didn’t get an invite?

        And Steve Harvey wouldn’t be caught dead at this meeting after the dragging he (rightfullyso) got.

      • StellaOliver

        Who , who and who?

      • BrothasKeeper

        Also known to wypipo as Ni66as With Latitude.

    • Val

      The cute chick sitting behind Trump attends Howard.

      • Brooklyn_Bruin

        Black Republican women cannot be brought back into the hold.

        Source? Me.

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