"Babe, before we go out, would you mind ironing again so your creases will be sharper?"
If you’ve ever taken a look at our origin story, you’ll see that helping people and shit is a huge part of our overall mission. We’re here to help you all help yourselves.
As the resident irreverent motherf*cker, I’m a believer in using words like “irreverent” when describing myself to convince people I’m worth listening to. I also enjoy saying things such as “I don’t disagree with you” and “That’s never not been true.”
I have no idea why I’m bringing any of this up, but I do know that, at times, there’s no better way to help someone than to convince them that what they’re doing is f*cking stupid. In this sense, “10 Dating And Sex-Related Things Never Said By Anyone, Anywhere, Ever” is just me being very altruistic.
“Yeah, I didn’t plan on giving him any, but after seven months of attempting to make me feel bad for not being attracted to him, I eventually got so turned on by his perpetual guilt trips that I finally decided to have sex with him”
“After this fifth time getting caught cheating on her, if she forgives me again and takes me back again, I definitely plan on being faithful to her”
“You know what I love most about her, man? Her strength. Dude, when I think about that and her independence it makes my dick hard”
“I wasn’t feeling him at first, but then I saw that Instagram pic of him ice-grilling the camera while rocking an ascot, and I was instantly turned on”
“Let me woman up for a second and tell you something. I’m sorry for doing that. I was wrong. I repeat: I, not you, was wrong. It’s completely my fault, and I take total responsibility for my actions”
“Remember that guy I hit on at the bar a few months ago? You know, that guy I thought was really cute, and I walked up to him, told him how sexy I thought he was, and asked for his number? Well, we’re getting married!”
“Not calling, texting, tweeting, seeing, being seem with, spending time with, and claiming her is my way of showing her that I’m completely into her”
“Girl, there’s nothing sexier than being at a movie with him and feeling him attempt to bang me with his dry-ass, popcorn salt laden fingers”
“Hey fellas, at wing night tonight, instead of sharing stories about all the crazy bitches we’ve been with recently, lets talk about the shit we pulled to exacerbate the crazy”
“Man, this is the best party ever. You know what would make things even better? If my girl was here. She’s the funniest person I know”
That’s it for me today. People of VSB.com, can you think of any other dating, sex, and relationship-related statements never said by anyone, anywhere, ever?
—Damon Young (aka “The Champ”)
***If you’re in the DC area today, make sure to come out to “Myth or Maybe†— a relationship-related discussion hosted by Panama and the homie Rahiel from Urban Cusp***
first
That’s usually what he says. Followed by an eye-rolling and teeth sucking sigh from some poor, frustrated woman.
LMAO!!! When he’s first, game over.
He should have met jack before trying crack. 
Well played Tes!
LOL That’s a good one.
lmao…now he cant even make eye contact wih her cuz he wants to smile and he knows she’s pissed
hahahahahahahahaha
BAZINGA!
TOTALLY well-played.
Looks like our lil Tes has grown up. Not sure how I feel about that. :-[/]>
Me neither
that’s what happens when…
oops. never mind.
>:-[/]>
sup meech! lol.
Shh! *blushes* lol
i aint say nuffin!
Aww Meech
I’m still the same little Tes…
Not feeling the “…”
A few small changes here and there, but I promise I’m mostly unchanged.
Never saw the eye roll or heard the teeth sucking. I just woke up.
“You know what I love most about her, man? Her strength. Dude, when I think about that and her independence it makes my dick hardâ€
You may not hear this but this one is realistic… F*ck that. I could see myself saying this. REAL TALK.
“Girl, there’s nothing sexier than being at a movie with him and feeling him attempt to bang me with his dry-ass, popcorn salt laden fingersâ€
Did you mean “finger-bang”?? **cringe**
Do full grown adults do this in the movie theater?
After working @ a movie theater for 3 years and finding unwrapped condoms on several occasions, I can confidently say yes. That and many other things can go on in the back of a theater nowadays.
I was surprised folks still do that. I guess they don’t know that there are cameras in the theater looking for people bootlegging the movie. One of them is going to mess around and run for office and the bootleg police is going to sell their s3x tape
Yes. Yes we do. Especially at the Icon theatre on Roosevelt in Chicago, IL. Finger-banging as well as oral goes on in there. Not…speaking from personal experience of course…
As a germaphobe I think that’s so nasty.
You’re a germaphobe? So I guess now would be a bad time to tell you that I snuck into your crib and serial sneezed on everything.
Lol, A germaphobes worst nightmare.
Yes. Yes we do.
The above statement negates everything you said below it.
Gotdamnit! And I would’ve gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for you meddling Jays…
Good catch Jay….we can’t have TUK running around these e-streets unchecked!
*sticks tongue out at TUK*
Sure TUK. WE believe you!
Yep. In the words of someone wise but nonetheless no good… Go on and do it. No one looks back in the movie theater.
I’ve had a lot of men tell me that me being a boxer turns them on. But they’re probably secure in their manhood, so….yeah.
I assume it. Men love a woman moving her body and sweating so… yeah
You should examine why you’re attracting and staying with irresponsible women. I admit I’m wrong all the time.
I do too… I don’t know where men get that mess from. Some women are fine with apologizing… I’d even go as far as to say majority… ehhh then again maybe not, but still there’s prolly like a 60/40 split.
Women, when they call themselves apologizing, will try to just say “well, I think we should just do what you were thinking” or “you were probably right.” It gets worded in such a way that it becomes plausibly deniable at any point.
I understand what you’re saying… but from experience I have and do often apologize… and yes I have boobs. Actually, I believe y’all are too stubborn and too SENSITIVE to even accept when you’re being apologized to, so heyll you probably don’t even know when women are actually telling you sorry. All you hear is “blah blah blah blah” because you still mad. That’s the problem… plus everyone knows men hold on to stuff when it’s long over anyway (apology included).
Having boobs doesn’t mean you’re female….lol
Did you just call me a fat man? (Meech is that you?)
I don’t worry about other women. If I am wrong, I apologize. There are worse things a woman can find herself in other than apologizing. Like stripping him naked and he has the wrong sized dyuck.
That’s happened to me before! lol! A huge disappointment.
You mean a tiny, very small disappointment.
As do I. If I’m wrong, I’m wrong. No amount of hemming and hawing is going to change that.
“Hey, Me and my girl want to start a fantasy football league for couples, who’s in?”
MEEE…. F*ck!!! I forgot, I’m single now. Great idea though.
LOL
1. I think we should go on a diet together.
2. I’m going out with my friends tonight. You can come if you want.
3. Shouldn’t you be getting an extra large shirt instead of a small?
#1 will end your relationship AND your life
BOL @ IAYP….you en never lied.
Only if she’s fat and doesn’t wanna change that.
I know couples who went on a diet together with no violence occuring at the suggestion.
All three of these are guraranteed to have World War III start in a heartbeat.
omg People let the ones they get naked with and love go out in the world in too small shirts? Coupled up person?? Dag! Well I’m going to tell you if your clothes don’t fit your body right.
I have no problem admitting when I’m wrong! Do I say it like, “I was wrong. I repeat: I, not you, was wrong. It’s completely my fault, and I take total responsibility for my actionsâ€? No. But I confess to my mistakes.
I would like to talk to your exes. I bet you hear yourself say: “Babe I’m sooo sorry. I was wrong”. but what you REALLY say is: “lets just forget about it and move on”.
I don’t know you so I’m not accusing you of anything. Thats just the closest I’ve ever heard a female come to saying “I was wrong.”
Pause….females admitting when they’re wrong? What…what….what is this sorcery?!
It’s called responsibility…I take that.
Where they do that at?
I’ve never seen it done, and if it was…it was real half assed at the last moment.
•Like•
Oh, stop it TUK… some folks do have the sense to admit they’re wrong. Of course, then the guys usually aren’t mature enough to accept that they are taking responsibility and act all crazy.
Some do, but it’s a rarity for a woman to just flat out admit that she’s wrong. Like, flat out. Usually the few women who do, try to justify it by saying, “Okay, I’m sorry. I know I was wrong, but I wouldn’t have did that if you didn’t do….blah blah.” But I’ve NEVER came across a woman who took FULL responsibility for what happened without trying to have me syphon some of the blame.
That’s called projecting and a psychological imbalance. No, that is not a good trait to possess at.all.
Yet it seems to come standard with boobs.
Oh, stop it Jay. I admit when I’m wrong and trust.. I have boobs. There are plenty of women that take responsibility for their missteps. But, men seem to hold grudges longer.
Just speaking from experience…
I had to admit I was wrong just on Monday…I am a big girl and can own up to the errors of my ways. Jay and TUK…ya’ll need to meet better women…lol!
@Breezy
I’d like to hear the story behind your apology.
@BM: I reacted to something he did prematurely, he didn’t like it (he was so right and I was so wrong), we talked about it and I apologized for my “impatient†reaction….it really was that simple.
Well, um, I mean couldn’t you be slightly more detailed? Just doesn’t seem satisfactory enough.
@BM: I thought you would be satisfied that I actually admitted that IIIIIIIIIIIII (the woman) was wrong? Don’t you wanna turn me over and spank me just based on that alone….then do the Rocky staircase victory dance? No?
Nah no need for that. I just want to hear an odd story, that’s all.
Lol my stepdad trained my brother and me to admit when we’re wrong. I don’t like it but I know it’s the right thing to do so I do it. Let’s face it no one likes to be wrong, but it makes life so much easier if you ca see and understand your mistakes and apologize. He used to make us say you were right and I was wrong. Now it just comes naturally.
Then that’s your indivieual take, but many men have stories about yuor gender counterparts that have never come close to making that move for us, but clearly expect us to do it for t hem.
Hilarious!
Oh, I’ve gotten the “I’m sorry for XYZ but you ABC” apology a lot from my wife. Then again, the last time I brought my wife out as a standard, I was told I was being unfair. Moving along…
I thought it was called having a chip on one’s shoulder.
Sheeyt, I’m going to admit when I am wrong. I’ve gotten the best sex after admitting I was wrong.
That’s because we’re generally reactive by nature. When we do dirt, it’s because we feel genuinely justified.
Notice you used the word “feel” instead of “think”…When it’s 95 degrees outside and someone says they’re cold, we assume that person has a fever. Yet, with women, base on what you’re saying, if they’re cold, it’s because it’s cold outside eff the weather.
LOL – there’s truth in that…guilty hand tries to escape and I’m shutting it down
Yeah. A few days ago I wholeheartedly admitted that I was wrong, apologized, and was quiet as my bf vented his frustration. He was so angry that idk if he even heard me. I think he wanted me to keep apologizing or try to make it up to him…
Sometimes, as men, we get extra angry when our women do something wrong, because the other times when we point it out, we are ignored or you just don’t even give regard to our feelings at the time. So then when we truly lose it, that’s when we are finally heard…and that hurts. Why do we have to wait for someone to understand you are hurting our feelings?
I can’t speak for him but perhaps that’s how he might have felt.
Makes total sense to me.
I don’t like hurting people’s feelings so. I admit I was wrong. I woman up. I have steel ovaries.
When well then teach some female friends a thing or two about how to harden up them ovaries so people can stop worrying about being right all the time. It’s just about being fair, you give me what you want me to give you.
And trust me when I saw you are rare for admitting that.
You sound like an angry dude. I am going to email you a hug. I don’t think the folks who say they apologize are rarities at all. I wasn’t raised to always have to win a discussion (or argument), so apologizing for something isn’t a problem for me. When I apologize, I am sincere about it and respected for it. I don’t do this often because I’m not often offensive to others and I think before I act. Again….not a rare trait in a woman. Get out more.
Delightfully, I am not angry, I am just honest. Maybe you do take responsibility for what you do, but quite a large number of people don’t, no matter the gender. You aint in the right position to tell me to get out more when you don’t know much about my life or experiences. If you and the people you know don’t do those things, good for you, but my life, and the people who’ve shared their stories with me seem to be quite different, meaning this stuff isn’t made up or just a weird coincidence. It means this crap really does go on. I’m not blaming all women, I’m not saying all women are alike, but I do wish some women who let go of the BS and live life the way the feel is right could help show other women who don’t get it the benefits of the lifestyle, the same way I try to share my stories with other men and help them see the light.
This NEVER happens. I think after this happens, Jesus will return to the Earth. I always thought it would be after Rutgers made it to a bowl game, but since that came and went in 2005, I think it’s this scenario.
Either that or the Chicago Cubs win the World Series, the Knicks win the NBA Finals, & Maywether actually fights Pacquio. Since none of that shyte is ever going to happen, it is quite clear all men on VSB stand in unison that we won’t ever get a full apology from a woman.
I’m sorry you’re wrong.
(Does that count?)
well that’s usually how it goes
Oh hell naw.
And I said it with a smile to let you know I care.
Baby, I’m sorry. I was wrong. Do you forgive me?
Forget apologizig when I’ve been wrong at times, I’ve apologized even when I wasnt at fault just so that we could move past it… Why win the battle to lose the war?
I dont understand why the male constituency here seem to think women are not capable of apologizing…
Because sincerely, a lot of men have never recieved true apologies from women. I think, and this is from my experiences, the women in my life have shown me they always expected men to toughen up and accept their craziness but if she was in the wrong, he’d be ok. That’s not true, we want respect the same way a woman would want it.
” I dont understand why the male constituency here seem to think women are not capable of apologizing…”
Because they chose women who have a chip on their shoulder.
Maybe you’re onto something. I know whenever I say something that can somehow be spun into “I’m just like her dad”, my wife takes it ALL the way there. Of course, my wife and her father don’t really speak because he chose drugs over her, then got clean a month or so before she went to school…only to fall off the wagon when she moved back home 6 years later. So yeah, there are some chips there.
You might be right but it takes a long time for anyone to realize that the people they date have a serial issue.
ive seen this mentioned on VSB so many times and am still confused by it.
every. single. time.
you mean to tell me in the history of women, we don’t know how to apologize?
i wish there was a way to search all my comments on VSB. i’m sure i’ve WRITTEN them more than once. and can attest to having said it.
if you need references – lemme know.
references please……
Yeh I concur.
Well maybe that’s out of context. I guess we are really talking about relationship-based apologies. I guess conversational apologies with strangers is a bit different although you can’t feel sincerity through font.
well i could give you the email address of the ex who wanted to marry me – but.. i broke it off with him – if you wanna drudge up bad memories for the dude…
it was my first time really breaking up with someone, and i was truly regretful that i couldn’t see it to make it work. it was ALL on ME. he didn’t change one bit. i did say that I was sorry. and meant it.
still do.
I’m a lover not a fighter so I’m not “most women” or “women” when it comes to our being labeled as never admitting we are wrong. Life is too freaking short. People die. I’ve known cases where a person had an attitude wouldn’t admit they were wrong *cough cough Faith Evans & Biggie* and next breath, person gone.
Say that shyt. Say it with your chest.
damn you and your Kevin Hart reference! Now I can’t stop playing a clip of a 5’4 man poking out his chest in my head.
lmao
I’m so confuse. So you’ve never been in a relationship where a woman admit she was wrong? I’ve said I’m wrong when I’m wrong heck even when I wasn’t but just wanted to end an argument.
I won’t speak for others, but the only apologies I’ve gotten felt half assed and barely did they feel that what they did wrong was that big of a deal, except for one HUGE f-up my current girlfriend caused. That was the first and only time she gave me a true apology but that took 4 years to get.
Hmmm sounds like a lot of apologies men say to women.
Hence why I say she’s actually a man on the inside. She hates that.
Bitter men abound on the internet. It’s strange how some guys like to say ALL women do this or that objectionable thing. They also claim to be logical, but don’t see the faulty logic of their assertion. Perhaps they don’t like to take the responsibility for the type of women they choose and prefer to blame all women for their woes/neuroses/issues
Lol, as if it’s only on the internet. You should see private conversations; these are tame.
I must be doing something right in avoiding men like that. I see people’s strengths and weaknesses automatically. Observation.
This applies to men who’ve been married for 30 years. A man who ain’t complaining about women, ain’t invested in them.
“Bitter men abound on the internet”
and yet are still dwarfed by bitter women
You might be dwarfed, but not by bitter women. And not on this blog.
if you say so……
Damn. You got served, shorty.
Yup pretty much.
It works both ways when you do the same.
Thank you for that Wild Cougar. Sincerely mean that.
But are male apologies sincere? I’d rather not be apologized to than recieve an insincere apology and many of the men I’ve come across (not saying this is you) only apologize to appease us……So whats the point of apologizing if its fake anyway
To shut us up, of course.
lol i know….but personally I’m not apologizing if I’m not truly sorry though
The thing with me is that I don’t apologize for what I did unless it was a bonified accident or unintentional. If I meant to do it then apologizing for it is a cop out. My apology would be for the results of those actions (ie, hurt feelings, you feeling some kinda way, etc)
Would you be okay if a man called you a bytch and said “I’m sorry that you were hurt.” ?
If we mean the hurtful things we say, then we must be okay with the consequences of such actions.
I’ve seen women and men upset by the new person in their ex’s life who is much kinder.
Honestly, no. I wouldn’t be ok with that. An apology given doesn’t automatically mean an apology accepted. However, I think in this instance, hell, I don’t know how to say what I want to say here, but In my head I’m right, but if I’m wrong, then I right because I admitted I was wrong, right?
#confused
Ok. He’s calling me a bytch… disrespectful and unacceptable. Besides, if he calls me a bytch, it’s because he meant to call me a bytch or he even if he didn’t mean to say it, he feels that way. What I’m saying is that if I do something that as a result hurts your feelings although it was not my intentions to do so, I will apologize for being the reason you’re feeling some kind of way about the situation. However, I will not apologize what i did/said because I meant it to do/say it.
Make sense?
Everybody goes through this. Point is even if you know you’re right but the other person is upset, you just bite the bullet, because there are no winners. Unless it’s over an issue that the other person is being overzealous about, then f that shyte.
In most cases a man has to apologies even when he’s right and she’ wrong, is it sincere? maybe not, but we man up and swallow that rock so things can be good again. Its in the fine print of every relationship contract.
+14
He only has to do that if he’s married. IF he’s single he just has to ask himself if she’s still a keeper. LMAO
*shakes tambourine*
And (SOME) men are so guilty of the faux apology: “I’m sorry if YOU FEEL…..”
Yeah, ninja….I do feel. LOL
Both genders do the shitty “I’m sorry if you feel” and “I’m sorry you were hurt” apologies.
If you can do foul shyt and still keep the person in relationship with you after such an apology, then he/she deserves to be in a relationship with you.
I think anyone does that when they just don’t want noise in their ears and they really don’t see the big deal in what they did. Of course, if you did the exact same thing back to them, they’d demand a sincere apology from you.
Noise in the ears, not seeing the big deal….changes if the person says ” ‘K and leaves the relationship.
People are staying in relationships unhappy because they really think its their only option for a relationship and that dating and meeting new people is “too hard”.
Our ancestors dealt with husbands ripped from them, children, walked from Mississippi to Canada in threadbare shoes in the river with dogs….
WOMAN UP & MAN UP
Agreed Either you be about that life or let it go. People need to stop making excuses.
Yes. Go hard or go home. We go hard in planning our mother’s special day for Mothers Day and her birthday. Or our children’s birthday. We plan a great day with our boys or girls. Why can’t we go just as hard in the relationships we have with others….whether its for sex, love, a love relationship, a marriage?
People need to stop taking each other for granted. Or someone else will appreciate them and be appreciated by them.
Totally agree. I never really thought about it until my current relationship but it is scary how so many people in relationsihps become lax and take their loved ones for granted. But if you pay attentiion, people do it to their family and friends too, meaning people just expect stuff to happen, and assume nothing will change. That’s how feelings get hurt. That’s how fights start. People need to treat family and loved ones like strangers sometimes and really appreciate what they have.
“meeting new people is “too hardâ€.”
Guilty. I didn’t say it was ‘too hard’ but I did say that I just don’t have the energy to put into a relationship… and I feel as if I don’t. There is so much going on with me right now, that just feels like taking on more responsibility that I just can’t handle in my life currently. I guess I will one day, maybe.
Him- I love when you wear that head wrap to bed
Him- I think its sexy when you leave your hair wrap on during sex
Him- I’m not really that great at basketball (I know…this not relationship related)
Him- I love me a wide mid-section. #teambigstomachs
Him- I like women with a nice proportional ass (ok well white men might say this)
Her- Im not big boned or thick, Im just fat
Her- I love broke men
Her- baby you can go to the strip clubs and hang out with your friends all night
Both- This is all my fault
Both- I’m a terrible parent
Posted this in the wrong area!
I admit to being fat all the time… Fat, Plus Sized, Full Figured.. I actually never met an real live lane bryant shopper that says she’s just big boned… I think thats urban legend like the welfare queen & other negative mythical creatures…
Then you need to be in a Fashion Bug where the big boned roam free and natural
Well, yeah. There’s a significant (money/class) difference between your Lane Bryant shopper and your Fashion Bug/Rainbow/Ashley Stewart shopper. I cop to fat. Can you imagine how freakish someone who actually had larger bones would look? #elephantmanish
“I admit to being fat all the time”….do you not understand how fawking sexy that just made you? Every woman I ever seen in my life got an excuse, can’t even joke about the fat. Like it really aint there, but more of a David Copperfield illusion or something
Yes, Yoles stays sexy! I like that she accepts herself as is.
Because honesty is just simply beautiful.
+1
LOL, I passed “thick” 20 lbs ago…
Speak, honey!!! I don’t understand why people can’t just own up to the truth. About themselves and even in reference to myself.
Them: Girl, you aren’t fat. You’re just chubby. You super thick. That’s just baby fat.
Me: Honey, I’m 30 years old. That’s just fat, baby.
It’s cool, though. 133lbs down. 77 more to go. Whoo hoo!!
That’s awesome! I’m making lifestyle choices too before my arse ends up back in the hospital. Me and Bill Clinton’s diet are rocking!
That’s wonderful!!! Best wishes on that. I don’t diet at all. I still eat the foods I like, but I’ve learned healthier ways of cooking them. I’m at the gym 3-4 a week. The other days I pull out a work out dvd. I drink lot and lots of water. Substitute sugar with honey (for beverages and cereal and things of that nature). Haven’t drank a soda pop since 1995. I bake and grill the majority of my meat. And I dance. A lot. Since I prefer music to actual tv, I put my televisions on the music choice channels and dance through the house while cooking, cleaning, talking on the phone, whatever. If you ever call me and I answer out of breath, you know why. lol
My birthday is Monday. It will be the first time in 9 months that I will have cake. I’m so excited. lol
That’s awesome girl! Keep up the good work! I love music instead of a television any day. And, if I’m not around on Monday, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Have a wonderfully blessed day.
Thanks!
I was going to ask if you meant cigars, then I realized you meant his vegan diet he went on before his daughter got married. lol
I don’t care that he has children he doesn’t see nor support, I like fyucking him and telling myself that I am a better woman than his children’s mothers.
I choose men to have sex with who would make shytty dads, but I don’t believe in abortion or birth control.
“Say bruh… let’s go out tonight. Not for girls though. I just want to dance.”
Horrible.
*raises hand*
I’ve…..actually done this before. It wasn’t my idea, buuut I did agree to it. And you know what? We had fun. I would give this story an epic ending by saying the women there were so impressed with our dancing skills that they came home with us. But…they didn’t so, there’s that.
But…they didn’t so, there’s that.
The dry wit of this line makes it funny…TUK, you should consider writing comedy skecthes.
Thanks! My friends and I are actually developing an online series, and I do some writing for that. For now it’s just a hobby. For now….
ahahahahaha
BOL. Golden.
“Say bruh… let’s go out tonight. Not for girls though. I just want to dance.â€
I’ve said this once, so I can claim it. However, I didn’t go out to dance- I went out to drink and/or fight…depending on how I felt that day.
Lmao at the dane cook ref.
*dead*
HA!
I heard Dane Cook say that one time.
if one of my boys said this to me….i would kick them in the kneecap real real hard!
but real talk i’ve seen a group of wannabe goons dancing (or whatever that was) amongst themselves in the middle of the dance for like that actually made them look cool. really it just made them look prison moist!
If all you want to do is dance… coolness!
But does it mean you dance by yourself or with women?
Yeah, I bought Magnums even though there is way too much room left in those.
Studies show that only 2.4% of all men on the planet have peens bigger than 7.5 inches. Magnums are at least 8.
P.S. I’m using the first part of this comment as a pick up line from now on. Should work… right?
Only for the sake of curiosity. LOL
…which killed the CAT. Hey-Ohhhhh!
lmao… good one!
Lmao you stuuuuupid! Aye man, glad to see you back & in a good mood. Youre one of my favorites on here. Mwah!
Look at you, trying to make me feel all warm and fuzzy…
That’s what the cat is for… bam!
Ha ha Nillalatte on a roll today…lol. Jay you gonna bring Mami out of hiding with this retro picture.
This is the classic set up ofa porn scene. I just need the music.
♫ Boomchickawawa ♫
Breezy FTW!
I see Jay and Nilla are on their Martin and Pam shyte today lol! Lovin it!
I swear that percent has to be wrong… Between my personal & professional life i’ve seen at least 20 over 8 inchers that i can think of off the bat I’m just one chick…
Interesting, Yoles. I’m a nurse too, and I’d say it’s pretty accurate. I’ve seen a hell of a lot of peen, and most of them are well below the 8inch mark. Course, I’m talking flaccid ones (for the most part) but…
flaccid ones don’ count, it’s like ignoring Sayans transformation into Super Sayans
Rhenewal… i have seen more peen than i can count both flaccid and erect and i have seen many over 8ers…
i will note there is a direct correlation between institutionalized men and large junk… i swear if the dude came from the group home, nursing home, hospice, specialized care due to chronic seizure disorder or being born all fvcked up and not having a chance in the world to function independently then he is packing like nobodies business.. i wonder is it some kind of joke, or the universe making sure things balance out is blind the functionality of it all…
on the other hand.. i have seen actual micro pen.is many times as well.. the lord giveth and the lord sayeth but none for you sir…
Wow, you’ve seen a lot more big peen than me. I’ve seen a one or two that are close to 8, one that might be over 8 by a little. Most of the big peen I’ve seen is in the 7.5 range.
Hmmm. And here I thought it was all genetics for me. Didn’t know being crazy had a trade off. Need to prove this to my old psychatrist.
I dated a dude who was 2 inches flaccid and 9 inches erect. Flaccid doesn’t count LOL
Unless you assure me that you NEVER leave home without a ruler, I’m gonna assume that your eyeball measurement needs a little calibration. At least you err on the side of generosity though.
i know a US dollar bill is 6 inches and i always have one of those…
my eye balling is on point…
I measure with my hands…
Mmmm…talk about batter up!
and a few times, I have had to measure by comparing to my arm….
…why am I picturing a horse…
hence the phrase “hung like a horse”
Jay I know 9 inches when I see it! If we can guesstimate a car’s distance from us on the road, we can notice an obvious 9 inch length. Come on now!
Just like I can look at a pair of shoes/heels and tell you the excact length in inches…I can do the same for peen…I’m just that good.
Yoles, I’ve seen you in person. I doubt you’ve messed too many dudes shorter than 6 feet, if only because the shorter ones are too scared to holla. Peen size is somewhat correlated to frame size and height. Hence the larger peens.
I know this to BE FALSE!!!.
Some shorties be having that 3rd arm.
Stop spreading that nonsense. Peen size definitely does NOT correlate to frame size. Not by any stretch of the imagination. Unless you’re gay, why would you make a statement about peen size? Peen size correlates to nothing. It’s like a box of chocolates…..
I said SOMEWHAT correlated, aka not completely.
It doesn’t even somewhat correlate. Not at all. I know you tryna push that tall man propaganda nsh*t, but how would you know, anyway? How many hard peens have you measured?
O_O… uh oh *packs up music book and closes piano*
*Dead at that whole exchange*
“It doesn’t even somewhat correlate. Not at all. I know you tryna push that tall man propaganda nsh*t”
it does, actually. penises are, for the most part, proportional to a guy’s height. basically, if you were measure 1000 random 6’4 guys against 1000 random 5’8 guys, the 6’4 guys would average bigger. obviously, there are exceptions, but height is the most reliable indicator
Yeah…..no.
“Peen size correlates to nothing. It’s like a box of chocolates…..”
Ain’t this the damn truth! I always end up picking the butter creme ones, too. Hmph. *sucks teeth*
I knew a dude who was 5’5″ and HUGE. I had to do breathing exercises. Shyt.
Breathing exercises. .Imma need to remember that. This last year has been. . .different..
Peen size is in no way related to one’s height or frame size. The “biggest” man I was with was 5″4 in height/ med frame and the “smallest” was 6″3 and muscle bound.
This is hilarity (Is that a word..lol)…esp the one about getting turned on by how strong and independent a woman is AND the one about the woman getting married to the guy she approaches first. All I can say is Churrrrch!! (Meeks Mills voice)
This is hilarity (Is that a word..lol)
As a linguist by trade, I know hilarity is an actual word. In fact, it’s in reference to humor.
A linguist by trade?
That just might be the most sexy occupation ever. IMHO, of course.
Sexy occupation- yes…but like everything else associated with the world of education, it doesn’t pay worth a damn, LMAO!!
Quite a cunning linguist, eh?
i see what you did there…clever girl
LOL!!!! Awesome play on words. I feel like we must now be friends in real life.
hahhahahahahahhahahahaha
“My dude, I wonder what her personality is like.” Said about random girl walking by
I’ve said this one as well. People who know me know that I’m not as hung up on beauty as almost ever other men. Usually the most beautiful women have little to no personality (See: Anyone who’s light skinned *shots fired*!!!!).
Cottam PA…to the corner!!!
S/N: Did ya’ll see Eric talking bout people who don’t like his song is racist?!?!?
Look everyone- for the first time in two weeks, I have been sent to the corner by Breezy. This is a moment that belongs in the Guiness Book Of World Records!!!!
Yeah, I saw Eric Benet on that bullsh*t playing the racism card for the people who don’t like the song. I should go up to him and step on his toes- you know he doesn’t like to wear shoes onstage, LMAO!!!
Word PA! Light skinned women think they walk on water and that I should be willing to give both arms just to say hello. Forget that BS! I can get the same light skin from a White girl with 18.72% of the BS.
Forget you and P.A. (the person not the state) I’ve got a great d@mn personality, SUCKA!!!
At any moment, I’m expecting a gaggle of light-skinned hoodrats to show up at my door, begging me to hump them while refusing to give me head. Le sigh. Hope this doesn’t happen to you PA!
yeah and I hope they steal your wallet and portable DVD player.
I’d like to add hoodrats come in all shades, shapes and sizes.
“Honey, I got off work early today and I came straight home. Happy hour can wait”
I spit my water out when I read this.
lol, I think this one shall remain unsaid
My ribs are recovering from the laughing I had to do.
If you’re in the DC Area tonight, Myth or Maybe is only a short walk from Farragut North Metro Station. Oh and…
1. “Washing your drawls-with the skid marks-oh, I’m about that life.”
2. “Smelling your cheesy feet under the covers make my day better.”
3.”I wanna keep your ring after I rejected your proposal.”
*makes
Word. I think I will be at that panel discussion.
3.â€I wanna keep your ring after I rejected your proposal.â€
If times are hard for that person, they may not say it out loud- but they will certainly be thinking it, LMAO!!!
so, I was was really suppose to give them back? hmmm. *checks jewelry chest*
I can only think of two things off the top. I’ll add more when they come to mind, but for now:
1. Men, when you see a woman who constantly complains about guys flirting with them and hitting on them, don’t take her seriously. It’s a woman’s way of lowkey bragging about how pretty she is. She’s trying not to come off as cocky by stating how “annoyed” she is that guys keep trying to talk to her. Unfortunately for her, by constantly stating these things on public forums such as Facebook and Twitter, she still comes off that way.
2. Since I hold the rank of Immaculate in “Peen Bragging”, be careful not to set yourself up. Don’t make amateur boasts, especially around a particularly witty woman. Here’s an incident I had back when I held the rank of Squib at the Peen Braggers Academy:
Me: These women can’t handle me! Ivan The Terrible (my former Peen Name) is much for em. My d!ck is as long as the distance from A to Z.
Her: Really now? Lol, look at your keyboard.
Me: *looks at keyboard.* …..f*ck….
“I heard a myth that women’s panties are much more comfortable than men’s underwear. So, let me wear your panties for a bit. Oh and if we break-up, I totally expect you not to show these pictures of me to anyone.”
Actually, TUK, I bet that happens a lot. Lol
Just wanna clear up that this one was NOT based on personal experience lol! I mean…like….yea…never…
It doesnt matter cuz its not true anyway! Mens boxers>womens panties. All day erry day.
yep! but they have those women boxer thingies now. very comfy!
I remember this dude who used to whoop my ass when I was kid.
Fast forward to last year, his baby moms put him on blast online posting pics of him posing in her undies De La Hoya style.
Surely all those ass whoopings were payment for the 2 hours I spent on the floor laughing. Worth every cent.
“Since I’m a strong believer that men should be allowed to express their emotions, I see no problem with the fact that I cry for 2 hours every single time my favorite basketball team, the Bobcats, loses. Every. Single. Time.”
Not enough tears in the world. You’d die of dehydration.
icecold!!!!!!! LOL
*Glares at TUK*
As one of the 5 remaining fans of the Bobcats I resent this alluh this. I’ve also been writing letters to Coach K (Duck Fuke) and Roy about combining their powers and lending them to the squad for a minimum of 5 years, then returning to their respective schools to continue the legacy of total ACC domination.
Actually, Charlotte should just scrap that whole team and start over
When tickets are cheaper than a gallon of gas someone, somewhere should be concerned.
You’re a Bobcats fan? Once I get over the shock that such a thing exists, I’m gonna have to ridicule you for being one. Sorry. Nothing personal. Just business.
Since Day 1. I’m a hometown team girl and shall remain such. You wouldn’t be the first to ridicule *shrug*
Your post just annoys me. You know some people do have pretty girl problems. Not me of course, but some people. I have problems fighting off the damn married men that want to cheat. Ugh. Git yo’ arse home to yo’ wife!!! Git now… ain’t gonna tell you again… *annoyed*
I didn’t say that people don’t have pretty girl problems. But, what’s the point of CONSTANTLY saying things like, “Ugh 57 guys called me beautiful today. I hate that soooo much.” Answer. There is no point. You can keep that sort of thing to yourself. Or, say it every now and then. But constantly mentioning how pretty other people think you are and feigning annoyance in an attempt to seem modest, actually has the opposite effect. That’s what I’m saying.
Long story short, nobody cares about your pretty girl problems.
LOL… okay 57 times is a bit extreme… fishing I’d say. Yup, that would be annoying.
Me personally, I only complain about getting hit on when I’m in a relationship. Because that’s when it happens the most. And I hate it. Because I can’t capitalize on it.
Yeah, what is that about? The opposite sex seems to know when you’ve got something going on. Like there is a scent you’re exuding — and maybe you do? I donno.
They say relationships are like jobs…..It’s usually easier to find one when you already have one.
Yep I agree, that is why as soon as you have a partner everyone and their friend wants a hook up, or be your “just in case”.
What I say to women who are like that… and trust they are like that to other women WAY more often….
Her: “All these dudes are coming up telling me I look good… its soooo annoying.”
Me: Yeah, I don’t know why they are doing that either… I mean… look at your face.
Girl, yes!! Like I have a sign on my forehead that says: Married men need only apply. Sucka.
Thank you. But, their game is so damn good! But, damn dude I don’t mess with married men. Way too much drama not to mention other things to do with values and morals. smdh….
Hey, a good orgasm will make you lose ALL of your morals. Just come to me…come to Todd! LOL
Well, at least you didn’t say, “Come to Daddy, girl.” lol
Psssssssh. That aint a problem. Holla at me when you got to fight off ex-crackheads who think you’d be a good parental figure to their 10 kids being held in ACS because you was nice to them for a day.
You need a new neighborhood, STAT!
SAVE ME!
*Drops ladder from helicopter to make daring rescue.*
Hold on!
Sass, you’re the greatest.
Now if you happen to have a small military group that can blow up buildings, I’d gratefully appreciate your help.
oh.my.god. RUN!
Did my best Jesse Owens impression, trust that.
But she lives in the development i work for, so I see her anyway *holds head down in shame*
hahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Go ahead, keep laughing at my pain!
You aint about this thug life right hurr!
LOL… just caught the keyboard reference! lmao… yeah, doesn’t work on a blog so well now does it?
Oh it works fine for me, as I’m one of the higher ranks now. But back when I was a Squib, it was….brutal…to say the least.
Oh, and it took me like 30 seconds to get what she meant by “look at the keyboard” . But once I did….I cried in shame. But afterwards I proposed to her even though I barely knew her. I love a witty woman.
To follow up on your #1…
Never said:
“So many guys hit on me today. They must have really low standards.”
“Yes, I know that as a woman, I’m supposed to be a master at multi-tasking. But for some reason I can’t seem to have a headache and have sex at the same damn time.”
Dummy. Doesnt she kno an orgasm would cure that headache right up? *mutters* young b*tches smdh
YASSSIR. In a relationship, all you have to do is prove this ONCE. From then on she will, at the very least, consider it.
Yes. It went from “Babe, where’s the meds?” to “Babe, hit the bed!!”
hahahahahahahahhahahaha yeah the best headache/migraine killer!
Yes, ma’am!
Yes indeed it does.
+1
While out with the girlfriend and she asks you that classic question:
Me: “Why yes babe, that woman over there IS my type and yes she does look better than you. But I’m going to lie and tell you that she ain’t sh!t compared to you because if I don’t, you’ll either withhold the vag from me or worse….eat the LAST bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. And we can’t have that now can we?”
Eating the last bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch–REGARDLESS OF GENDER—is just begging for trouble.
And if you leave the box out like there is actually some left instead of just Cinnamon Toast Crumbs? Off with your head!!!! LOL
*hides the empty box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch and walks away*
*kicks PA in the back of his knee*
You better put on your sneakers and go get some more! LOL
Just for kicking me, you’re getting plain Cheerios, dammit!
WHO EATS PLAIN CHEERIOS??????
WHO????
teething babies eat plain cheerios lmao
…and adults with no teeth.
bwahaha.
i know about the babies, but grown adults aren’t eating this when honey nut exists as an option right???
You’re absolutely right, by the way.
*takes Keisha’s box of Honey Nut Cheerios and runs like hell*
AY!!!!!
you are LUCKY that I always have at least 4 diff kinds of cereal in my house.
#1 is all truth! I hate these women who say this. Its like on twitter when these women put up half naked pictures then complain that all the dudes sending them DMs are “thirsty”. As a female if you put up half naked pics online you should already know the type of response you’ll receive…..i mean half naked ladies just be honest this is the feedback you wanted right.
I learned to stop feeding into that nonesense, I don’t got time for those airheaded lying ass attention whores.
Not saying you can’t wear what you want or do what you want, but then you don’t get to complain about the consequences.
what i EQUALLY hate about that though?
fellas calling them out, but being ALLLL UP in the DM trying to holla.
YOU (men) are the ones that tell us men are visual creatures. a girl tries to increase her chances by playing into that and then you wanna call her out/all sorts of names?
GTFOHWTEBS
Right?
Can’t speak for other dudes, but visual creatures or not, anyone with common sense can tell good attention from bad. If it’s good, I want to talk to you, like a human being. If it’s bad, I’m talking at you, like an object of my temporary affection. Those thirsty dudes that talk shyte in public then try to holler in secret aint a proper breed to begin with, so there’s no point even calling them men. Just boys with big boy clothes on, that’s it.
And one last thing, just because as a woman, you’ll beautify yourself to up your chances doesn’t mean you’re not supposed to know when that thin line comes that you’re not supposed to cross. Everything in life needs to be in moderation, too much of anything is bad. So if you showing too much cleavage, too much ass, too much anything, people will talk. Show too little, people will talk. But show just enough to keep an imagination moving, and you leave them speechless.
again,
fellas are always saying you don’t get to pick and choose what kind of attention you get. so…good attn vs bad attn…doesn’t really exist in the eyes of most men to hear them tell it.
we forget that everyone has an ego and likes to have it boosted. i don’t have my bosom all out on my avis, but instead chose my juicy lips for vsb. nothing is accidental. we all know people are looking – we put the body part forward we want people to notice.
and also being real, since the plain janes are usually completely ignored for the kimmy k’s of the world – they do what they have to FEEL like they can have a chance. it’s not right, but i understand it.
I get that point, no differently than as a man, I can’t compete with the muscle bound dude, the really suave dude, or the money making dude. So I just have to pull my own cards and make it work. But still, I know that certain actions will net me certain types of attention. If I get some money and make it rain in the club, popping bottles and shyte, I will definetly get the attention of some females…but they will be gold diggers looking for a good time. If I pay every woman I see a compliment and keep laying it on thick if she responds, I will surely find women who eat that attention up but give little to nothing of worth back in return. The same fight you women are engaged is the exact one us men are as well. The rules are different but the end game is the same. At some point, it has to stop being about your ego and be about your priorities.
Her: “Yes, I have large breasts and I’m going to wear this low cut shirt, which exposes a sh!t ton of cleavage. However, I’m going to get mad if you, understandably, look at my ample buxom that I practically put on display.”
Her: “Yes. I know it makes absolutely no sense to shave off my eyebrows, only to draw them back on. But I’m going to do it anyway. And if it rains while I’m out, I’ll be extremely upset. Although you won’t be able to tell.”
Her: “Yes. I know it makes absolutely no sense to shave off my eyebrows, only to draw them back on. But I’m going to do it anyway. And if it rains while I’m out, I’ll be extremely upset. Although you won’t be able to tell.â€
-What is wrong witchoo!!?! smh
One mo’ ‘gin – who are you men messing with? When I put on the low-cut top, I am not just looking for attention, I am actively hunting for a new man. Every woman has her super powers, and my t*ts are one (two?) of mine. When you fall into the cleavage, I try to make sure to have that winning smile ready when you (finally) look up.
pics or it didn’t happen
” Her: “Yes, I have large breasts and I’m going to wear this low cut shirt, which exposes a sh!t ton of cleavage. However, I’m going to get mad if you, understandably, look at my ample buxom that I practically put on display.†”
In this case, I say look. That’s what [most] men do. They look at breast. I have plenty to look at, cleavage or not. I don’t care. Just don’t do the creepy stare and drool thing. That freaks me out.
PS: If I think you’re hot, I’ll even stand in profile with my chest poked out. *just kidding…. a little bit*
Just don’t do the creepy stare and drool thing.
EXACTLY.
looking is going to happen with ample bosom – staring is impolite, creepy and NOT necessary. either that or learn how to do it better.
I call B.S.
As a woman in possession of a large bosom… even if I am wearing a TURTLENECK dudes will be commenting.
Keep complaining!
Psssshaw. *neck roll and finger snap*
Aint like you can hide them things. Just play T.I “Bring Em Out” every time you wear a sweater and see what happens.
Him: “I got a lot of nerve copping an attitude because I try to engage in sexual activity as soon as my smelly, sweaty azz gets home from playing basketball, baseball, football, badminton, and hopscotch all day with my boys, and my girlfriend denies me.”
“1. Men, when you see a woman who constantly complains about guys flirting with them and hitting on them, don’t take her seriously. It’s a woman’s way of lowkey bragging about how pretty she is. She’s trying not to come off as cocky by stating how “annoyed†she is that guys keep trying to talk to her. Unfortunately for her, by constantly stating these things on public forums such as Facebook and Twitter, she still comes off that way.”
This is why hoodrats should never have access to the internet, LMAO!!!
I feel like a rich white person when I have that exact same thought. Maybe that’s why the hate when poor people complain about them.
*actually looked at keyboard*
Good, you got the first step done. Now, on your keyboard, look at where the letter “A” is in relation to the letter “Z” and then think back to what I said during my boast.
i did. and i guffawed.
that was clever.
I had a guy do the opposite of ‘peen bragging’…he asked if sized mattered …I totally got the wrong idea. TOTALLY, I am still shocked. ..and slightly injured…
Hmm. I’ve heard a few of these said before. Not exact words but more or less the same line of thinking…
why am i not surprised?
Yeah, Ne-yo AND somebody else (Webbie?) made songs about independent women.
Wow… and now that you mention it, didn’t Anita Baker make a song called… “I Apologize”?
+1
Yes she did lol
r&b songs aren’t real…..
just like romantic comedies……
Oh B.S.!!! How many times have you sat in a dark corner crying while Boys2Men was playing in the background? Smh uhn huh.
hahahahahahahahahaha
I’m laughing thinking about how many people blast their favorite Avant or Jagged Edge song after a horrible fight, singing the lyrics with ferocity like it means something and shyte.
Oooh, yeah, you’re the best (or the biggest, or the first). Ever.
Lol.
Umm I have said this before.
Am I the only one? *looksaround*
*Smhlol*
I guess a lot of ya’ll haven’t mastered the art of mind fcuking to get what you want.
#Travesty
*scoots in next to GirlSixx and raises hand slowly* Guilty….and intend to use again…….soon!
I do this all the time. It’s called emotional seduction. Siht works.
Yeah. Females don’t say these things anymore… even when they’re true.
i did. meant it too. dude looked .. confused ..
Cause we think you’re lying!
Maybe because we know it’s a classic line many women say to men to make them “feel good”.
Men better believe a woman who is cumming all over the place, though and says it was great. Especially if she stays in touch, and will visit him anytime he asks ‘cuz of it.
Free me please!
*opens jail cell*
Well when we see the results, then sure. But as a man with plenty of female friends, some of the stuff yall say around your girls is so down right scary that a man would never know what to trust. Could be giving her back-to-back orgasms and still be talking to her friends like “nah that nygga aint shyte, got me paralyzed on the bed for 3 hours and think he hot shyte, pulhlease!”.
sounds like some dumb ass women or she may be lying so her friends won’t mess with him hahahahahahahaha
Maaaan I have met so many “aint shyte” people in my life I don’t even know what to trust these day sometimes, but I got confidence it gets better.
Strangely enough, telling a woman that SHE’s the best/biggest…generally doesn’t go over well.
Best yes. Biggest? Unless we’re talking breasts or donk…HELL NAH!
It works just as well for them too bro Jay, just switch “biggest” to tightest or wettest and the same ego play can be made…even if neither are remotely true lol! Which by the way would probably lead to one of the things you’ll never hear a man say…”dang babe, i never felt poon this loose and open before.”
Don’t tell her.
Just blow up a balloon.
“Honestly, the bigger the housecoat, slippers, and hair rag, the bigger I’m turned on by the intrigue of what’s underneath.”
BOL!
LOL!! Not the hair “rag”
Choking on tea that is funny, the image alone
Bwahahaha
Things that SHOULDN’T be said but have been said.
1) I was watching the HIV in Black America special on PBS. There was a gay couple on, one was HIV+. They said, “at some point, condoms weren’t a priority.” Then the formerly HIV- boyfriend had the nerve to be surprised that he got HIV.
2) Hydeia Broadbent, an activist who was born HIV+ and now has full blown AIDS, said that men approach her all the time saying she’s too cute to have AIDS, and have even offered not to use a condom because they ‘trust her.’ The f*ck does that mean? SHE HAS AIDS
*punches the air like Ricky died* * cries like Fantasia*
Dafuq did I just read?!
#1 – Yeah I saw that. I was like WTF!? And boyfriend #1 had the nerve to say he felt bad about it. Just bad?!
My mind was blown when the young woman in D.C. said she doesn’t tell anyone she slept w/she has HIV cause she doesn’t want them in her business and that they’ll shoot her. I had this look —–> (O_O) on my face for about 10 minutes after she said that.
Yep, that was crazy. She had no shame whatsoever about it either.
This disturbs me to no end.
I swear dating now has become a CIA interview:
Ever been married? How long? How many kids? Ever sleep with a man? How many men? Do you have a STD? Which one? For how long? Blah, blah, blah…
And that would be a useless interview. Because 1. It only takes one. 2. You can have it and not know it, and 3. Who tells the whole truth?
And this disturbs me as well.
*goes and sits in the corner*
Now have someone in DC tell you that to your face and watch that expression not leave for a day.
My face hurt for a week after that shyte.
“1) I was watching the HIV in Black America special on PBS. There was a gay couple on, one was HIV+. They said, “at some point, condoms weren’t a priority.†Then the formerly HIV- boyfriend had the nerve to be surprised that he got HIV”
When Kenny Greene of Intro said almost this same exact thing in his last interview in Sister 2 Sister magazine, I was like “So…you’re on your death bed because you wanted to be risky? C’mon son!!!!”
I kept that article and made copies around college at the time, trying to get people to get STD tested more often and know their HIV status. Most only cared that he was now seen as gay and wanted to throw away his albums. HIV is still not labeled enough as an issue amongst those in Higher Eduaction to care, all they think about is booze,sex and free concerts.
I feel like Hydeia could be my little sister or something. I love here spirit and her candor…even back when she was a kid, she just had this way of keeping it real that few people do. I love to hear updates on her.
And shame on folks who STILL think HIV/AIDS has a look.
“And shame on folks who STILL think HIV/AIDS has a look.”
I have a very interesting story to tell about this statement- more on that later…
*taps fingers and awaits for this mess*
Here’s the story- no bullsh*t. Everything is true- strange and quite sad, but really true.
A dude I went to school with contracted the AIDS virus several years ago. He got it by having unprotected sex with a woman who was known for having it. When he was told about her, his response was “She didn’t look like she had it”.
The most surprising thing about it is how much he’s changed since he became HIV positive. He was well known for being outside a lot and running off at the mouth. These days, he’s barely seen and people can barely get a word out of him.
I can believe it. I got my wake-up call freshman year of college. We had to sit through one of those mandatory sex-ed orientations and one of the speakers was from the county health office. She told us that in this particular county, there were 35 confirmed cases of HIV.
I was floored. I mean, we’re talking about this small, country area of Oklahoma, but at least 35 people have it? It’s the first time I realized that it could have been ANYBODY.
When i was in college, they told me that my city, statistically, had one of the highest STD rates in the country.
I’m from SC. I was upset that day.
Very upsetting, but I’m so glad we paid attention.
Off-topic: Got any red velvet cupcakes today? I forgot to eat breakfast this morning. LOL
Dude, I wish. There is this cupcake place in town that has peanut butter and jelly cupcakes. I swear i almost ate off a finger it was that good.
man went to school in a small town adjacent to the university of michigan.
the big thing on our campus was herpes…..lots of folks had it.
the town itself was ratchet as fuqs. you had dudes who with a straight face would declare how they would bang chicks that they knew had the heebie jeebies. talmabout” that bish is bad! i’ll jus make sure that the jimmy is on extra tight or wear two of rubbers”
now you got women out here fuqin like dudes…and the dudes they fuqin are also fuqin dudes!
i swear the dating pool is a cesspool
*barricades self in apartment, fires up the Xbox*
*bangs on demondog’s door. lemme in! i got food!
*helps Keisha bang on the door and screams* Yo D…we got pics too!
LOL!
In a just world, she would let them hit it raw, then deny them AIDS meds. It would prove Darwin’s theory of evolution. What a knucklehead!
i hate people after reading this.
*burns something*
I see what you did there.
hee.
Our little secret
thanks. i appreciate that.
Anytime love, anytime.
No wonder Hydeia doesn’t sound so happy on Twitter when she talks about men. WTH?!????
*iDied-On-A-Hard-Mattress*
*Crip Walks To -”This Is Why I Blog”-*
This is why, This is why, This is why I Blog
When Hydia gets fully cured confirmed, I will be the first negro to take her AIDS-free virginity
Why wait?
*Hopes Darwinism takes hold.*
“Sure, i’ll give you all the head you want, but you dont have to recipricate. Im good.”
You’re right, a man would never say that. But a woman might if he (or she) didn’t know what they were doing down there. Lol
Gotta disagree! Wack head is still better than no head. If u expect it from me, youre returnin the favor, jack! *ques music* “My neck, my back….”
Nah, I’m good. I’m not saying it has to be spectacular, but if I’m just laying there planning my week while you’re down there? #NoGo.
Hahahahaha I can see the book planner and reading glasses right now.
Can’t ride with you on this, mami. I’d rather get no head then to have a chick treat my d!ck like the eraser of a pencil.
Really, IP? I’d rather watch a Flava of Love marathon than be with someone who doesn’t know what the heck they’re doing down there. That’s one thing where being proficient is a must!
Welp, im willing to teach them. Hell, im patient & we got all night so….
Correction. We don’t have all night. Big Bang Theory comes on in 5 mins. Time’s ticking…
Lol. Kno what? Youre rite! L&HHA bout to start too. I’ll be the living room.
*in
Oh hell naw! You not finna choose that show over my 24 seconds of good lovin’.
Ok shoot…how bout “hardcore pawn?” Can i choose that show? *Random funny story alert* My platonic homeboy was @ my house. He has a really thick NY accent. Imagine my horror when he goes, “lets watch hardcore pr0n!” He got the strongest side-eye of his LIFE before i realized what he meant. Lol
LMAO! That’s hilarious. But…friendship rules state that you should’ve went along with the pr0n idea. Just sayin’…
24 seconds?!?
I just don’t get how someone could not know how to eat a vagina. It’s licking with rhythm and sucking with passion…how hard is that?
it is.
in more ways than one.
A-O!!!
hahaahahahaahahahaha
You get some dap for that.
me and you are >><< today!!
Damn straight we are, at this rate we are going to need a secret handshake or something.
i like this idea
I can’t get with that Ice. Go have a seat if you’re wack dude.
However,I don’t mind giving a little guidance. Some may disagree, but passionate and intense oral beats ‘technique’ most days.
* burns the memo that told dudes to spell the alphabet on my clit*
*Lmao* I can’t believe some people thought that sh*t was cute and/or arousing: “Girl, he managed to spell my entire name out w/his tongue, akikiki!” (-_-)
A dude with skill though…. Have me passed out and shaking with aftershocks when he’s done. That’s unbeatable.
how about stutter. I had NEVER stuttered a day in my life….. until that day.
Whew!! Flashbacks!!!
I sing songs in my head while sucking on a clit. The higher the octave, the smoother & stronger I suck. Got me a couple of trophies for doing that.
And just now did I realize that was TMI.
But not necessarily bad TMI.
One of my favorite authors (J. California Cooper) said that the greatest sex makes you sing opera. I didn’t understand the comparison until….well, you know. LOL
Do air horns count? Cause am always doing some random shid soooo, one time when we got done chexing it was so amazing I pulled out the air horn and give him props…its not singing but does that count?
Breezy be calling the Vikings home and shyte.
Hmmmmm…that is an interesting thought. My girlfriend says she hears something soothing right before she catches temporary Parkinson’s disease everytime I take a downtown trip.
Hmmmmm…that is an interesting thought. My girlfriend says she hears something soothing right before she catches temporary Parkinson’s disease everytime I take a downtown trip.
Yvette Wilson said the do the alphabet on my clit thing on Def Comedy Jam years ago. So blame her for that. R.I.P.
That’s not so unheard of..
I’ve said that before. Giving head is fun, especially once you know a woman’s spots. You can have her jumping and winding like crazy.
i may not have said this, but for the longest time…that WAS my mentality.
after so many selfish lovers – i stopped seeing the point of receiving and well.. yeah – giving has never been an issue.
*shrugs and reapplies lip gloss*
You poor thing. Can I give you a hug?
Let this be the beginning of a selfless friendship.
LOL. sure.
no squeezing the famous KB bosom doe.
I no squeezy! I no squeezy!
In the meantime, lemme make you a drink.
thanks! love the hospitality!
Comes with the secret handshake and everything
Dudes don’t say that? I say that to my girlfriend all the time.
It’s so sexy when men tie their hair up at night. So sexy.
Aaaaaarghhh! You just had to air us out. This has GOT to be the worst part of having a penis and locs at the SAME DAMN TIME.
Oh heck no!! Wrapped those locs! I don’t care if its sexy or not. After being in a relationship with a fellow loc’d ex, no way I’m waking up with someones hair in my ears/nose that’s not mine.
Lmao, my s/o is growing out the fro and its actually grown a lot. His hair is about 5 inches long when soft and curly, not quite sure about when its straight. Anyway we got into an argument about whose hair got in my food.
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hilarity!
Your man-boobs and gut are so awesome.
+1
“Your man-boobs and gut are so awesome.”
Said by any woman who has ever dated Zack Galifinakis, LMAO!!!
No get it right. The correct phrase is I like the way your man boobs wiggle
“Let’s just cuddle. No, seriously, JUST cuddle”.
I love the way you take care of things, like living with your mother even though you are 40.
iCant with you today….please its too early for this…ROTFLMBO!
“How many guys have i slept with? Thats easy, 23! Oops, make that 24. I forgot about that one time in the bathroom of that bar that had a mechanical bull.”
Nice.
Gilley’s? That was you?
*blushes*
“…I forgot about that one time in the bathroom of that bar that had a mechanical bull.â€
Ha!!
LOL, perfect.
“Honey, you’re right. I do work out because I am insecure.”
10 Dating And Sex-Related Things Never Said By Anyone, Anywhere, Ever
- He says; “The NFL playoffs are on but I’d rather just sit here and talk to you.”
- She says; “Instead of going to Ruth Chris’ Steakhouse can we just go to Burger King instead?”
- He says; Would you like to invite your mom to come on vacation to the Bahamas with us?
Rotflmao great list!
+2
@Val: Number one actually happened. My ex actually got in his car on Superbowl Sunday and drove 4 1/2 hours to be with me….think he said eff a Superbowl I love you!
That’s love!
That’s love and good snapper! lol
*flips hair*
It sure is!!!
*walks off like Obama*
I never understood the fuss about RC until my homeboy took me last year on my birthday.
Forgive me, but that Sweet Potato Casserole was so good, I almost wanted to reward him for the gesture with mouth hugs. LOL
Yep, they have some really good food there.
“Sure, baby! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards.”
Wooooow! I have spoken these exact words….VERBATIM.
Church! But for missions like that, it’s condom MANDATORY! I don’t care if God himself declared you free of disease and infertile. I’m strapping up!
Or how about….nah babe…it’s not that much…the towel aint that red, don’t worry about it.
Sounds familiar! LOL
Ummmm, i dont get it. What dat mean?
Ask Aunt Flo.
Okay, first thought was ‘yuck’. Second thought was… Aunt Flo generally leaves when company arrives for a short while as both can’t stand being in the same room at the same time… so to speak.
Normally Aunt Flo sticks around until you’re done yelling or toss her a tub of water. Then she stops stalking.
@jay- oooooh snap ok gotcha. Matter fact, Champ keeps threatning to do a post on this. Wudup champ?
ohhh…
I was totally thinking about “man juice” but then i was like, “that doesn’t make any sense.”
been there done that…but in retrospect…..
that was absolutely disgusting……
HOLDup! I thought you were talking about sex before having to go somewhere that requires you not to walk in smelling like sex.
Or it’s called by its most common name- Badussy, LMAO!!!!
hahahahahahahahahahahaha
That is the nasty mess ever! GROSS….my goodness really no…
#ThingsPeopleinRelationshipsDo…
This has been said and done.
Nothing wrong with a red rocket when you are with a loved one.
You my friend IS NASTY!
listen,
you are entitled to feel how you feel
but it’s a bodily function. some people dont get the heebies about it.
different strokes, different folks. literally.
I know Keisha…it just crawls my flesh to think of the red sea being parted…..*does gross out dance*
lol.
i understand. its not for everyone.
Well, I’ve said a few things recently that I probably shouldn’t have said like “I’ve got to let you go.” Ehem… yeah, I should have said, “I think we need some space for a minute” or simply just not answer the phone for a while. But, I didn’t. So, yeah, I’ve called it quits on this dude x2. What can I say? I have issues. Even tho I got over it, he hasn’t. *shrugs*
“can you think of any other dating, sex, and relationship-related statements never said by anyone, anywhere, ever?”
That’s a tall order. Humm… something about size always comes to mind, but I would never comment on it being big or not so big. LOL
Where did you learn how to kiss? An animal farm?
Maybe more later………
Him: Honey, will you wear those cute little footies to bed again? They are really sexy!
LOL, my dude like footies. He bought me some.
~ So, yeah, I’ve called it quits on this dude x2.
(smile)
third times tha charm ~*~
“OMG babe, I know we’re both naked and already IN the bed but I’m SOOO glad that we spent the past 30 minutes talking about your crazy dream as opposed to um….. doing something else.”
Lmmfao i STAY tellin my boo my dreams every mornin, even though i kno he couldnt care less.
Ice: I tell mine too but only the ones he was starring in. I usually send a voice message with the details….you know to get him up and going for the day. *wink*
“I said not tonight woman!!! I’m not a machine!!”
Go get you a glass of water and git yo’ arse back here. Don’t never start what you can’t finish! Um, hum… I said it.
iGuffawed
Yea! What she said. As a matter of fact, I gone as far as to go fix the proverbial sandwich and grab a gatorade to help him “re-up.” Eat and drink up, babe. Don’t worry, the next round is on me. (~_~)
@jay- omg! My dude has actually said that to me before. Im insatiable!
I was told that by my ex. And he was younger than me!
Giiiirl they better ax about us! *high fives*
*clear throat.*
Excuse me, I’m looking for a couple of ladies who are rumored to have stamina comparable to that of the entity known as The Great One, TUK, or more humbly….Your Royal Sexiness.
Know where I can find them?
Dub C will be here tomorrow. Bwahahaaa *drums & cymbols*
Well more than one man has complained about me always asking for seconds and thirds. They need to go to the gym more.
It should be illegal for a man to stop after round one…
*high fives Wild Cougar*
You’re adorable, but not my type.
Re: Tuk seeking out women with stamina
hee hee..
remembers the time…on the floor…at 3 am…
I understand when you pass 40 you will say that a lot.
And from what I’m told… women get more horny as we age… my guitar weeps.
I’ve been that way since 20s.
Which is a problem and probably why older women phuck younger men. As a woman ages she becomes more sexually charged… well, at least some of us… ehem… and, a man over 40 who is not as ‘giving’ needs to recognize. IJS
Spoken like a man who has never been to a swing party and become a hit with the ladies. Trust me…you’ll need IV fluids afterwards and a ride home if you don’t shut down the show before it’s time to get in your car.
Might be me…but there is something beautiful about turning a woman down for sex.
The look of shock on her face….PRICELESS.
I shouldn’t do this…. I want to, but I can’t…
I’ve said that. I think my exact words were “I have to go. I cannot do this. But please know that as I walk away, every fiber of my being is crying out for every.single.inch. of you.”
And it was. And yes, it sucked just as much as you would think and CAN WE PLEASE STOP TALKING ABOUT THIS NOW?!
Oh, hells no we can’t stop… I want to know why. What stopped you?
What stopped me? Hours later had to be at a family event. Damn! But got back to him a few days later and
LOL… nah, AWE, I wanted to know from a man’s point of view and Boo opened himself up so I wanted to explore what the phuck is going on in a man’s mind when he’s got a woman ‘ready’ and he says those words. It’s confusing as hell for a man to back off once he’s gotten to a certain point in the game and then say, “I want to, but I can’t.” WTF? Okay, we don’t know what goes on in every individual’s mind, but WTF?
LMAO!!!!!!
(Couple walking together…woman says something to her man)
“What, babe?? Huh?? Yeah, you caught me…I was looking at her…but did you see the a$$ on ol’ girl? Sh*t was sublime…”
…and the next words she heard were “you have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you.”
lmao…..
LOL!
LOL
This was me. I saw a woman with a really big ass and pointed it out to my man. Obviously he peeped her ass before I said something.
1) “My girl’s mad at me. I know exactly what to get her: Let me go out and get some lilacs with baby’s breath, a plaid yellow scarf to match her new sweater and some low-cal frozen yogurt!”
2) “I know we’re breaking up and I’m angry with you, but you have the biggest penis I’ve ever had/seen/experienced in my life.”
3) “Nah, baby, we can watch Desperate Housewives and Grey’s Anatomy reruns now. I mean, the game’ll have highlights later.”
4) “It’s the first date and he slid the check over to me… Oh hell yeah, he’s getting the box later.”
5) “You and me girl, five minutes… Just let me just get my Paramore playlist up and it’s goin down!”
5) “You and me girl, five minutes… Just let me just get my Paramore playlist up and it’s goin down!â€
*DEAD* at Paramore being baby making music!
Her- my cooking is horrible! Why am forcing this man to eat this terrible food
Probably to exact revenge? I don’t know…
lol i don’t know either….i dont think many people realize that their cooking is terrible or mediocre at best. I know this because I’ve attended a few pot lucks at work before.
Those pot lucks will send you directly to the pot, LMAO!!!
Guy stepping to Girl at niteclub…
Guy: “Hello, I was gonna step to that girl next to you that I saw dancing in the new Jay-Z video…but you look like someone with great medical benefits and a healthy 401k account.”
Haaaa! So true! Still dead wrong tho
Guy: “Hello, I was gonna step to that girl next to you that I saw dancing in the new Jay-Z video…but you look like someone with great medical benefits and a healthy 401k account.â€
I’m dying at this because it sounds like something that Phonte would say at the beginning of a love song, LMAO!!!
sounds like something that Phonte would say at the beginning of a love song
Hell yeah…
I’m stealing a line from Val: Ha!
That was worthy of the loud laugh I gave that caused strange stares from my co-workers.
I never expected any woman to call her flasher polite http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5377GA_4_HM&feature=player_embedded
Hey, this is a funny one!
“Baby, I cant explain this but your morning breath doesn’t bother me, isn’t that weird ?”
She: ” I’m firmly against you watching porn but I do expect you to be really good in bed [specially giving head] “
(Man and woman on their 1st date)
Woman: Don’t worry about the check…I’m paying tonight. And after dinner, you can come back to my place for dessert…
(Man blinks in amazement…miwacles do happen….Kerney told me so)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IGDGvZOoYGE&feature=related
Guy watches Girl walk down street
Guy: Man…I never noticed how sexy cankles were until now.
Oh yes, random azz negro tryna holla with “hey gir, ey shawty,” that’s such an original line! Of course I wanna holla!
This post is hilarious & I do apologize fully…I take responsibility for my actions. I do it cause I’m grown but also it gives men no chance for a comeback. Apologize & they are so shocked that they’ll just say….nothing
LMAO @ Aisha’s post
Not calling, texting, tweeting, seeing, being seem with, spending time with, and claiming her is my way of showing her that I’m completely into herâ€
SMH……thanks for not wasting my time buddy
I’ve never heard anyone say the following:
“You know, I really like all of your bitter and angry friends. They seem so much fun to be around.”
“Has anyone ever told you that you’re great in bed, but you’re terrible at making red velvet cake?”
“I was just thinking- how about you and me have a threesome and the third person is your best friend?”
“I was just thinking- how about you and me have a threesome and the third person is your best friend?â€
This will get you killed…in fact it a sure way to have your Bobbit removed.
Um…my first threesome was with a couple of women in a same-sex relationship. So it does happen.
Did I ever tell you that every time you give me the side eye when I look at a random girl walking pass me, that I daydream about innocently shoving you into pool of sharks?
Do you realize that your gaining weight right now is against the original contract we signed when I committed to you? I am justified in getting some side pu$$y, only reason why I don’t is because I’m a good man and you know my schedule like the back of your hand.
Do you know that every time we watch one of those goofy movies that you force me to watch, that my d*ck shrinks in disappointment and my ballz shrivel in shame?
LMBO!
Oh wow, LOL
“Let me woman up for a second and tell you something. I’m sorry for doing that. I was wrong. I repeat: I, not you, was wrong. It’s completely my fault, and I take total responsibility for my actionsâ€
I’ve actually said this. Almost verbatim. So, are you implying that I should never say it again or it was a bad move? What’s the takeaway message of this post? I’m ready to learn.
Oh wait a second, I think I speak for a lot of men when I say, please tell us how this profound event took place?
I was at a dinner with my bf and some friends. The subject of my recently engaged ex came up and I may have entertained the topic a little too long for my bf’s comfort level. He spoke with me afterwards about it and I apologized. I understood how he must have felt and admitted that I should have deaded the conversation.
And this wasn’t the only time I’ve admitted to my mistakes and apologized. Furthermore, I don’t think I’m some sort of unicorn. Maybe you’re used to dating immature, narcissistic women, no?
Vanity in women is much more the norm than it is the exception. A lot of my friends who are lesbians believe this more strongly than I do or even most men, yet it seems only straight women, who purposely avoid the companionship of too many women, tend to argue or disagree with that reality, all the time.
And what’s not being made clear by a lot of the fellas on here, and why I keep asking women to give details, is because I know it’s because their men talked to them that they apologized, that it’s because he went out of his way to calm himself down and explain to you why he’s mad and why what you did was wrong. If he had yelled at you and cussed you out (which he was entitled to do), like most women would have done (still expecting an apology), there’s a good chance you wouldn’t have apologized, and I think that’s what the guys are specifically talking about.
I didn’t say he was calm when he brought it up to me. But, ok. Keep cooking.
Oh for real. He cussed you out. He called you a b*tch? A c$nt, perhaps? If he did that, and you apologized afterwards, I swear to God you deserve a medal.
*holds out hand*
Can I get my medal now?
You gotta say your story first
The short version:
He accused.
I denied.
He jumped up.
I stood firm.
He screamed.
I yelled.
He pulled a Ludacris. “Move, bish. Get out tha way!” (complete with shove)
There was a hammer.
15 minutes or so….
He got up.
Caught in his feelings.
I apologized.
“You know what? I was wrong for doing that. I shouldn’t have hit you. I got so caught up in my emotions (and the fact that you did indeed push me) that I lashed out. That was not the correct way to settle that argument. Please accept my apology.”
A little peroxide, neosporin, gauze, ibuprofin, and aquafina later he accepted.
*shrugs*
*hands Nei Jae her medal*
he’s implying women dont take responsibility for sheiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit *clay davis voice*
He’s implying that women never apologize for sh*t or allow themselves to be held accountable for their mistakes. It’s BULLSH*T but it was funny. I just had to apologize recently. IMO, there’s no shame in saying you’re wrong. Only a$$holes are never wrong. (profanity…)
WIP…go upthread…BM thinks is odd that I too had to apologize this week.
Lol
I’m not the only one who finds it odd i.e. out of the ordinary. I just like to see how this all played out, since like most of the fellas, my experience has shown that what you’re saying is rare. But maybe you ladies are right, and we just make bad decisions in women. If that’s true, don’t you think by sharing your story and us getting some insight into your personality, that we’ll learn more about women like yourself, and make better decisions in the real world in terms of looking for women who actually are humble and take responsibility for their problems?
LOL, Isn’t that just part of being an adult?
What do you mean?
Isn’t taking responsibility for one’s problems just part of being an adult…
People put too much esteem into that world “adult.” If you’ve ever been to a group home, you realize that being an adult doesn’t come with any guarantees, especially when it come to taking responsibility.
She means you should spend more time around grown folks.
Of course, that’s the problem.
Yessss
” But maybe you ladies are right, and we just make bad decisions in women. If that’s true, don’t you think by sharing your story and us getting some insight into your personality, that we’ll learn more about women like yourself, and make better decisions in the real world in terms of looking for women who actually are humble and take responsibility for their problems?”
Yes. Yes. Yes.
That is why real conversations matter between the genders. Face-to-face communication not bullish.
I don’t believe you. You need more people…and a time-stamped video tape…and 6 signed AND notarized affidavits. This NEVER happens.
Guy gets a phone call at 2a.m.
Girl over the phone: “Hey kid… me and my supermodel girlfriend want to have a dyck sucking contest…and we think u would make a great judge.
Nope, that’s a staple of any college in the middle of nowhere and the call isn’t just at 2am
This is why we now know you never went to college. Only have viewed college-themed pr0n.
Not true. Everybody has different experiences. In college I had 2 sister’s (white girls) one blonde, the other brunette argue about who gave the best head. They were heated I tell you. Too bad they weren’t trying to prove it to me.
Lol.
Where do you think the ideas behind the videos come from?
Touche.
Couple lying in bed:
Her: Baby, I don’t like your flow / rthym…it doesn’t do it for me. Do you want to know how John did it?
Him: Sure…anything to please you.
“Do you want to know how John did it?”
In the South, John is called Jody down here:
“…and Jody will make you ****…you know what???”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=duPXGYoRUPE
THAT just made my day!
And I’m not even going to ask why you said that- considering what song it was…
LOL!!!!! you definitely won’t find a guy in that situation
Consider that I’ve been thisclose to giving out PowerPoint slides on proper knowledge technique, I wouldn’t mind that too much. If I have requests, I can’t hate on you for doing likewise.
“you cute and all but your sister is like damn”
“i dont think this is working out…okay if it means that much to you we can still hump from time to time”
“Baby you know damn well you not a size 7 anymore”
“this is my wingman…he’s here to flirt with your majin buu built homegirl so i can get to know you better”
Okay maybe i may have uttered 75% of these.
+9000
For the Dragonball Z reference.
“this is my wingman…he’s here to flirt with your majin buu built homegirl so i can get to know you betterâ€
a tru wingman indeed. boy i’ve taken some serious L’s in the name of friendship
Also the Blame Game skit….aint no ninja gonna be cool with ol girl saying Yeezy taught them and aint no chick bout to here a 10 min monologue about how meh they p***y was
That skit still makes me laugh thou…
i was thinking, your mother should move in with us, she would make good company, she would give good advice and certainly make our relationship stronger, more fun and problem free!!!
BOL!
You. Are. WRONG!
Not trying to be all Oprah on this but, according to my Asian/Middle Eastern and Turkish friends just get this question over with in the 1st date, otherwise you are wasting your time.
BOL to all this. Perfect.
“That’s it for me today. People of VSB.com, can you think of any other dating, sex, and relationship-related statements never said by anyone, anywhere, ever?”
1. Man: “I’ve really enjoyed cuddling for the last few weeks. In fact, I’d rather hold you all night than have s.e.x.”
2. Man: “I don’t want a relationship but I realize you do. I won’t waste your time with my bullsh*t.”
3. Woman: “Your fake jewelry and logo-branded back pack make you look really cool. Please call me.”
“Man: ‘I don’t want a relationship but I realize you do. I won’t waste your time with my bullsh*t.’â€
SMH….I don’t know if I could actually handle this. The sheer honesty would make me lose all my morals and I’d resort to chillin’ outside of his house in my camo gear.
That’s right. The camo gear. Y’all think it’s cute to wear to bed, but you’ll need for those moments when you’re hiding in the bushes! LOL
Why would you do that?
It’s a joke, BM. Sarcasm. I thought that was pretty evident, but I guess not.
Lol, I’m not insinuating that you’re Left Eye or anything like that? More interested in where the feeling comes from.
Jokes aside, it is absolutely refreshing when men are honest about their intentions. If you want to play the field, say that. If you are looking for a committed relationship but I don’t have the qualities you desire, say that. If you are dating multiple women, just say it. It goes back to the part of today’s post where men aren’t willing to talk about what led a woman to CrazyTown. Nine times out of ten, it’s the sin of omission.
So yes, I’d be over the moon happy if a man just told me the truth. Bonus points for face-to-face interaction instead of a text message.
It’s the sin of omission and ambiguity. Unfortunately, it took me a while to realize I didn’t have to “figure out” what these dudes wanted once I knew what I wanted.
Unfortunately”, it took me a while to realize I didn’t have to “figure out†what these dudes wanted once I knew what I wanted.”
QFT!!!!!
“I didn’t have to “figure out†what these dudes wanted once I knew what I wanted.”
PREACH it WIP!!! Preach it! And, that I am saying is the key. If a man can’t give me what I want/need, why engage? Of course, the game is fun, but in the end, its all about what you want out of the relationship and for dude to know if he’s ready, willing, and able to give you that. If he can’t, call it and move on.
I guess what women don’t understand is what honesty means to us. It’s easy to be honest to a woman you don’t care anything about, it’s different when you’re in a relationship and actually care about the woman, because you know as any guy can attest to: Male Truth = Hurt Feelings, anytime that isn’t the case, the man isn’t being completely honest.
That’s probably why ugly women tend to have boyfriends, and pretty women are usually single. Most guys always feel like they can do better than the ugly woman, so they talk to her without a filter because they won’t be completely crushed if she walks out (there’s always a fat chick who wants some S.O.S “Just Be Good To Me” kind of love), the pretty woman on the other hand, they’re scared she might go find some other dude or just leave, and they’re scared they won’t be able to do better, so they lie, lie, lie.
It’s always the man’s fault, just explaining why things happen the way they do.
Very interesting theory. I have so many questions to ask….
Girl, he took it to the whole ‘nother level.
“That’s probably why ugly women tend to have boyfriends, and pretty women are usually single.”
LOL, and here you go BM…
So I follow on the “lie, lie, lie” but why would talking to the “ugly” women without a filter lead to more of those women being in relationships?
Even ugly women want honesty lol.
The difference between the pretty woman and her, is how valuable honesty is relative to her self-esteem. Pretty women care more about men justifying their self-esteem, than men being honest to them – they feel they’re queens and they want to be treated like that, even though in reality they aren’t. On the flip side, an ugly woman doesn’t feel like a queen and just wants not to be taken advantage of. She puts higher value on honesty than she does on justifying her self-esteem, because her self-esteem is low.
The reason why they’re in relationships more so than pretty women, is because they’re easier to deal with, and their more willing to acquire a male POV, which is essential for every woman to be in a good relationship with a man. The pretty woman requires a lot more work to reach that point, because based on her high self-esteem, she has all these things she requires a man to give her, before she gives him anything. By the time the guy gives her all she wants, he’s usually worn out and a shadow of his former self, and at that point the pretty woman doesn’t want to be with him anymore.
No gray areas for you, right? Personally, I love it. At least you’re consistent.
Gray areas always lead to contradictions.
Contradictions always lead to confusion.
Confusion opens the soul to corruption.
Corruption leads to amorality.
Amorality leads to inhumanity.
Inhumanity leads to chaos.
I lie to you because I LOVE YOU!!!!
Yep, this sounds about right.
My parents have been married for 41 years and my father still commits little lies by omission because he doesn’t want to upset my mother. Yet he also wants to live in his truth, just not share that particular truth with her. For example, instead of saying he went to the videostore where she knows he’s probably going to rent a particular porn on DVD, he says he went to the store. Instead of telling her she gained weight, he waited until she went home to check the chairs and tighten them up for sturdiness.
When a man cares about you, he tries to spare hurting you unless absolutely neccessary. That is why women must be aware of a man’s body language that they show indicating they are not telling you the full truth, are keeping some things from you. Then we must ask why are they keeping the truth from us. Is it because they don’t want to upset us & care that much about our opinion? Is it because they’re assholes and just lie by omission so they can do asshole things behind our back?
The rule is- If you are not sleeping at a man’s on most nights and having sex with him every chance you get, assume he is dating other women when you aren’t around. Don’t be mad at him just assume he’s doing it.
I would think that assumption would be appropriate even if a woman IS doing those things.
Ask the specific question. Let him tell you what he’s doing. Women are just as responsible for seeking the truth as men are for telling the truth. Shared accountability
THIS.
I’ve always assumed that. I also assume that when a man is serious about a woman he pulls back from the women he was dating at the same time as you. I assume he is seeing someone else, until I learn otherwise.
I’ve said #2 before. Why BS people when there are other women that are up for the downstroke?
“Why BS people when there are other women that are up for the downstroke?”
Ask these dudes, Todd. ask them…
Lol, you’re acting like the BS you deal with, with the girl who’s down for the downstroke and the BS you deal with, with the girl who wants the relationship are fundamentally different. The downstroke girl after awhile wants to be treated like the relationship one, and the relationship one wants to be done proper like the downstroke one. The problems always come from the same place, they just differ in timing and degree.
…..because all women are alike….
Personality – No!
Nature – Yes!
I’m with WC here. Women differ on their BS. And who cares if they’re going to change their mind in 5 years if you only humping them for 4 months?
They’re gonna change their BS after 3 sessions.
“I’m with WC here.” – Say what now? Someone get a screenshot of this ’cause it’ll NEVER happen again.
LMFAO!
#truestory
Because deep down ya’ll really ain’t about that life… dealing with a women who can just fcuk suck and peace out on you and you not hear from her until she’s ready for another shakedown… Boy. Please… *smh*
Ya’ll want the chick that will coddle/cuddle/and cater to you although you may have in some subliminal form told her “Look Ma, I just wanna kick it”
I’m convinced that a lot of the guys that say they just want fun actually want fun with a girl who wants more. They need to resist and reject in order to feel manly. If she doesn’t want a relationship, they feel rejected, and they were planning to do all the rejecting.
Cosign..
cosign 2x
I observed this recently, Wild Cougar. Some men get butt-hurt to realize you really don’t want a relationship with them. They lose the power once they realize you don’t see them like that (esp. men who are used to women fawning over them)
*Pours yes syrup allover WC, AWE and all the other chicks that agreed with this*
…..Because all men are the same……
I see what you did there.
Seriously though, any dude out of college, and especially north of 25, is doing you a favor when he pulls some mess like that. That’s something when you’re in High School, fresh into the dating game, than boys do. Unless he’s the Chosen One of the Bedroom, most guys come to Jesus on that steez by the time they hit 20 or 21.
chuuuch!
2. Man: “I don’t want a relationship but I realize you do. I won’t waste your time with my bullsh*t.â€
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*re-loads on exclamation marks
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ALL OF THE EXCLAIMING.
2. Man: “I don’t want a relationship but I realize you do. I won’t waste your time with my bullsh*t.â€
A guy actually said this me before. Well actually he said, “Keisha, I know you want a relationship, but I wouldn’t treat you right.” My level of respect for him really went up….I couldn’t fault him for being honest. Three years later we saw each other randomly and started dating…our careers took off and led us in different directions, but we’re still cool.
2. Man: “I don’t want a relationship but I realize you do. I won’t waste your time with my bullsh*t.â€
We’ve got a winner!!!!
Champ, I agree with you that guys don’t talk about how they run their women crazy…in groups. One on one, they will keep it real, but add another dude, pride will keep that ish quiet. And about this:
I got two responses to this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17EG-d0dNZM
And…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FfodvM0E93Q
A woman could molest a boy live on National TV during the Super Bowl halftime show and not only would she not take responsibility, but you know a LOT of women would have her back. #thatisall
*drops the mic*
NO SUPPORT FOR CHILD MOLESTERS …. REGARDLESS OF GENDER… nah todd you took it too far, women are not supporting other women that steal children’s innocence… actually i see far more men being lenient on that type of thing… i.e. man let me have had a teacher like that and please don’t let said disgusting chick be young and attractive, then men don’t even believe the child was molested, he was just indoctrinated into s.ex early… pass me with that one Todd…
Yeah that ish don’t curl allaway over AT ALL.
And if we wanna go there… the main folks that glamorize women with little boys (like the teacher and the student) in the media are the MEN that own such stations. When everyone should accept that as you said, Yoles… child molesters are child molesters. One shouldn’t be seen as skeevy and the other as just scandalous for the sake of telling a juicy story. Nawl, homie.
You know what? I’ll apologize for that one. Though I go HARD in the paint on female molesters for my own person reasons. But just about anything else short of that? I’ve seen women forgive some of anything.
what yolie said.
A lot of women would kick her ass on live t.v.
You don’t play with most mamas. We don’t play that.
Your child molestation comments are disturbing.
I agree with Yoles et al and I read your apology. I had a friend tell me most of the teacher (female)/student (male) molestation scenarios when he’s read the comments the men state “Where were these teachers when I was in school?” Still, as a mom, I don’t want my son’s first experience to be with a psycho female of authority, and I would take her out of the game permanently. I just don’t play dat at.all. #thatisall
Things that are generally never said:
Woman: “I usually don’t do all this, I’m really only doing it because we just started dating but soon, because this is not a habit for me, it will stop. Just wanted to let you know.”
Man: “I usually don’t do all this, I’m really only doing it because we just started dating but soon, because this is not a habit for me, it will stop. Just wanted to let you know.”
Oh, those things are said alright. They just aren’t true.
Granted there are things that one may start doing while dating and that carry on into marriage but really can you honestly say that you still do everything that you did while dating your wife even now after being married for awhile?
Also know that be by admitting to the fact that some things do stop doesn’t mean you’re a bad husband because honestly male or female, I think we all kinda do this.
I see where you’re coming from. I agree with that, if only because no one can keep that pace up all of the time. We’re human for goodness sake.
How about, woman: “I usually do this. I am as loose as I seem right now.” LOL
Yeah, both yours and SoSincere’s are good ones lol
“Not calling, texting, tweeting, seeing, being seem with, spending time with, and claiming her is my way of showing her that I’m completely into herâ€
CTFU
Yeah, that’s such a turn on.
mmm i think a man who can get me to see and acknowledge how i have been wrong is the hottest thannn on earth ~*~
11. “You know, our relationship wasn’t going too well. Then, we decided to take a “break” so he could basically sleep with other women. Now, it’s the best it’s ever been!!!”
12. “I don’t know about you, but I think those potato sack dresses chicks be wearing nowadays are sexy as hell”
13. “You know what would really brighten my day right now? If that guy I met at Starbucks at lunchtime today went into his office bathroom, took a picture of his dick, and sent it to me”
14. “I need to call HR because this really sexy guy at work has been sexually harassing me”
15. “Although he didn’t remember my birthday, I think it’s kind of cool that he remembers exactly how many points per game Michael Jordan averaged against the Phoenix Suns in 1989″
16. “Please, tell me more about your ex”
AY!
don’t hate the maxi dress. you don’t know whats happening underneath!
Booty meat and baby powder lol
i hate you trizz. BOL!
Tristian is a Grade A fool….lmbo. Women still wearing baby powder doe?
“12. “I don’t know about you, but I think those potato sack dresses chicks be wearing nowadays are sexy as hell—
If you talmbout the maxi dress……….. preeeeeety sure we had a thorough discussion on twitter earlier this summer on how men actually universally confuse sundresses with maxi dresses. Like, they call maxi dresses sundresses all the time on twitter for #sundress season. So, I’m thinkin ya’ll ninjas actually like those… a lot. Maxi dresses that is. lol
Maxi dress: http://bit.ly/OppmA1
Sundress(es): http://bit.ly/Ql6mrA
So yeah, while each kind of dress comes in different shapes/styles the general rule is that sundresses are shorter than maxi dresses. Maxi dresses are usually about floor-length.
#eachoneteachone
me- “wow and now i know!”
Duke and/or roadblock: ” and knowing is half the battle!”
chorus : GIIIIJOOOOE!……da da da da daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
*cue closing credits and theme music*
YESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“I just LOVE it when men old enough to be my father or grandfather hit on me. It gets my panties wet”
If they look like Dennis Haysbert they do…
o_O That’s Allstate stand, indeed.
They ain’t never good lookin’ older dudes #doe…lol
Right?!!! Why can’t I get a silver fox? Instead I get a nickel squirrel. Chill!
true, and don’t forget the penny with the hole in it rat (meaning old, dirty and homeless trying to kick it HARD)… no side eye just keep my eyes down and speed walk away…
Not nickle squirrel doe *lmao*.
+1
LAWD +1,001… I have a co-worker that likes to speak to me in his bedroom voice (YUCK) with his eyes all seductive (double YUCK) while saying… “GURRRRRRLLL”… every time I walk by. That is not a turn-on. You my friend prolly graduated with Socrates.
It happens to me all the time and I feel gross afterwards
also the only exceptions are Denzel Washington and Jermain Jackson (don’t judge me!)
Jermain WHO???! O_O girl bye!
the one with a head full of black dax and tar?????
I really lol’d on that… we love you Mabinty… ewwww but not your choice in men girl (sans Denzel *does uptown shake*)
Lol. I don’t even think that’s actually hair on Jermaine’s head. It might be a helmet.
bhahahaha yah’ll got me weak!
His hair was constructed in MS Paint.
What is that, High Gloss?
Ahhh Microsoft… That darn Cheekie smh.
DEAD @ MS Paint doe.
Right, especially the grunting under their breath.
” I know it’s our first date, but I want to rub your feet and take all that stress away, within eyesight of my friends across the table, put those hoofs on my lap babes”
” After meeting your Mother/Father and seeing how bat shit crazy she/he is after your parents divorce, I know I’m in for a good thing”
” I would love to exchange parenting advice with your ex, when’s visiting time again?”
SOME men will actually tell you this:
†I know it’s our first date, but I want to rub your feet and take all that stress away, within eyesight of my friends across the table, put those hoofs on my lap babesâ€
Here’s an apology I found from FXP that I remember lurking on:
This is an all-timer
http://thefreshxpress.com/2010/07/how-wall-e-ruined-my-marriage/
We got to stop blamming Pixar and Disney for our madeness * rambling through kiddie collection to load up on excuses for life*
At least she finally realized the error of her ways…kinda sucks their relationship had to end first.
That story was my marriage in a nutshell. Lack of reciprocity.
She really messed up. Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you can act like you’re single & not obligated to make other people happy.
if you read a couple of the comments…some of the sentiments strongly echo some that i’m read here today
hmmmm i wonder if there’s something to that…
Observation. Men, or people, who have had some bad experiences with relationships sometimes choose to believe all men or women behave like their ex. Then they attract another person who is like their ex (mama). They develop confirmation bias, and exclude any evidence that contradicts the belief that all women or men have the undesirable trait.
Why do they do this? Is it more comforting to believe? Maybe they don’t want to face their choices? Too afraid to hope? Subconsciously enjoy the way they are treated?
Why do they feel compelled to convince other people that their reality is THE reality?
I really wanna know.
Because it gives them an excuse to be lazy and makes them feel justified in keeping up their barriers, which they’ve grown very comfortable hiding behind.
You gotta be specific.
Men’s bitterness is related to the fact that they hunt women. Women’s bitterness is related to the fact they choose men. So if you want to know why they do what you’re claiming they do, you kind of have to zone in on one group or the other.
people wanna be proven right
until they are willing to admit they are wrong.
at least, thas how it went down for me ..
Because some of us are like the flies in the jar with no lid who have lived with the lid on, and suddenly the lid is off. Never jumping out of the jar to a bigger perspective. Still staying in thinking we are limited to the inside of the jar.
It takes courage to have a bigger perspective & look at our choices & look at the types of men and women we totally had blinders about in the past.
The people you refer to are the same ones who continue pick the same type of person. Just because they look different doesn’t mean their personality are.
It’s not just men. Women do it too.
We all have issues with realizing our pasts are affecting our present and ruining our future. Eventually we wake up and smell the coffee but it happens at different times for everyone. While one person may experience it after a bad break up, another person can be on VSB enough to see the trends and realize their mistakes.
We’re humans, and humans fawk up. You have, I have, nobody is an exception, some just learn to play the game quicker than others.
VSB: [insert some mandingo innuendo here about their own man-meat]
VSS: pics or it didn’t happen.
VSB: you know what, i just had an epiphany. we
demandrequest that all the time here as a hardfast rule yet we never comply or even acknowledge it as a rule when you ask it of us. it seems kinda hypocritical once i think about it. we should fix that. let’s e-cuddle.LOL
VSS: And I understand that the reason why you VSBs never comply is because we VSSs never comply when we’re asked, either. Can’t expect you to play fair when I haven’t from been doing so from jump street.
VSB: I totally get that saying “well ya’ll don’t do it either!!” is not a real defense because the point is I ask even though I had no intention of reciprocating anyway. Kinda like giving head.
VSS: Aw it’s okay sweetie. “Yall don’t do it either” IS a real defense. I’m sure you just feel that way because I’m always ASSUMING you won’t reciprocate. Though this assumption is generally false.
VSB: Awwwwww back. I totally acknowledge that instead of realizing you’re actually noting stuff that ACTUALLY happens in the comment section (no dude explicity acknowledged the means to reciprocate until a woman called them out on it), I’mma just call it an “assumption.” *grunt*
VSS: “And of course you must remember that the men on here usually asks me for pics FIRST and I don’t comply. So why should you, when I’ve already shown that I wouldn’t?”
hee.
More of the men comply than women.
On here? (because again, none of the men have even acknowledged that the same applies to them… women had to point it out lol) Or in general? Because if in general.. hmm… you’d be surprised. VERY.
Just referring to VSB. I mean I’m counting myself in this argument as well.
comply to what, Malik?
Giving photos when asked.
The VSS always do when asked…well most cause you know Nillalette in the witness protection program with AWE.
Going to have to respectfully disagree there. A lot yall get ghost when pressed. Like disappear from here for weeks or months on end.
Not I…when Demondog asked for a picture I gave him what he wanted. I don’t believe in disappointing a man….*wink*
and you’re an evil genius because of it. that quick tease made a nugga feel like a 13 yr old boy who caught a quick glimpse of their teachers nipple. or that little piece of booty cheek that is exposed when that summer breeze blows just a tad bit too hard for that sundress.
exhilarating and mysterious!
Ha ha ha…D here you go. I will let you have this for a few hours….lmbo! See Malik, WE do comply.
Malik, do you have examples, or a name perhaps? Anything I’ve verbally referenced has been visually backed up. And all of my favorite VSBs said they liked my smile better than my tits. Go figure.
I asked for a number from TCK and couldn’t even get that, so………..
But they don’t hear or see you though. They got “anything other than MY perspective” goggles on. Obviously.
I’m not one of you favorite VSBs? What does a VSN gotta do to crack the top 10?
@ Meech. What we have transcends a favorite list
*points to extra key on his key ring while humming The Roots ‘You Got Me’(Jill Scott version)*
I like the save. Respecting the game. Putting the key back on ring.
bSweet and Cheekie are both correct. I do vividly recall the day TUK was put to the test and he hopped skipped and jumped all over that one. Starting talking about the length of dollar bills and whatnot and never answered the question that B set forth.
Hey Meechie boo boo baby buttercup…you know you are on the short list of top 5 VSB we like alot……*winks and body rolls*
Thank you Breezy baby!!
And save that winking and body rolling for twerk team practice
#nolongersharing
Top five and longest nick name on the internat, save Big Ghost. Feeling the love.
Wait, did someone just say something about twerk team practice?
*puts on addidas track outfit*
I didn’t comply because I asked a number of women to do so first, and they didn’t. So why should I comply when ya’ll didn’t?
NOT disappear off the face of the planet.
oh wait. you weren’t asking me.
#carryon
Woah, I came back. If I recall, you have a tendency get ghost a lil bit yourself…
i have good reasons.
thanks for missing me doe. LOL.
TUK being uncooperative isn’t reflective on all of us. Honestly, I can’t remember names. I’m willingly to concede that I have a huge bias.
He’s the main n**ga arguing your point tho so… *sips tea*
LMAO yep! LMAO
*slaps forehead*
Yes they do.
or when…
never mind.
“Sure, show me how your Mom/Ex used to make it for you. I want to learn!”
Shots will be fired!
“And she had the nerve to get mad when I stopped her. I let her know from jump, just the tip, and she agreed!?”
“Ulterior motives? I just really like giving full body massages with the baller lotions and exotic oils for the sake of giving full body massages with the baller lotions and exotic oils.”
“She was so excited when we landed in Atlantic City. I told her letting me plan the honeymoon by myself was the way to go.”
“I’m really excited about moving in with her. It’s like getting all the benefits of being married without having a wedding. All this space and freedom to do whatever the French Connection UK I wanted was getting old. Glad she fell for it.”
“Avatar the movie was better than the show.”
“I’m really excited about moving in with her. It’s like getting all the benefits of being married without having a wedding. All this space and freedom to do whatever the French Connection UK I wanted was getting old. Glad she fell for it.â€
Her version:
“I’m so glad we decided to move in together. I’ve always wanted to walk behind a grown @ss man, who couldn’t seem to find the d@mn laundry hamper he bought, and pick-up his clothes for him. Ahhhhh how I love the challenge of masking the scent of corn chips that linger from yo’ FOWNKY-@ss basketball sneakers. It gives me life. Thanks boo!”
That’s been said passively aggressively at least 6 times in the greater metropolitan Atlanta area by chicks on the cast of love and hip hop alone. Some by chicks that ain’t even living with dudes.