- drake wants the ladies to be careful. sparkle and r.kelly
the champ met with recording artist drake for brunch yesterday to discuss the budding megastar’s new album and upcoming tour. over mango and pheasant omelets and mimosas, the toronto native also talked about the obama effect, jamaal magloire, and how gay it was going to read when champ included the part about them eating mango and pheasant omelets together in this piece.
as they left brunch and walked to a nearby apple retailer to stand in line for the iphone4, drake brought up that he was a longtime fan of verysmartbrothas.com (“ya’ll dudes got soul for real. candy rain“), and offered a few dating and relationship tips for the vsb readers.
***before continuing, please be advised that drake has a bit of a, for lack of a better term, “unique” way of phrasing his points where he follows each sentence with an unrelated word that further articulates the main point of the last five or so words of the previous sentence . if this is too confusing to understand, that’s okay, because you shouldn’t be taking relationship advise from 24 year old canadians anyway***
1. “unless he puts a ring on it first, never let a dude beat it in the whip. chris brown”
2. “trust me, ladies: if you please your man in bed, he’ll stay locked down. kwame kilpatrick”.
3. “a man should always pay for at least the first three dates. if he doesn’t do this, cut him off and don’t look back. beltway drivers”
4. “meeting people and dating is hard work. but, once you get past that, relationships themselves should be super easy. delta chicks”
5. “a little first date nervousness is cool, but make sure to relax. have a drink if you need to. you don’t want to be all sweaty and smelly. pau gasol”
6. “be a man with a plan. nobody wants to be with a dude who can’t make up his mind. tyler perry”
7. “ladies, accentuate your assets. if you’re funny, tell jokes. if you’re cute but not that bright, smile and wear short skirts. sarah palin”
8. “ladies say they want the truth, but really they just want to hear what makes them feel good. honesty is cool sometimes, but for the best results just tell them want they want to hear. black churches”
9. “if he asks you how many people you’ve slept with, leave without a word or lie about the number. tony hayward”
10. “the worst gift to get a woman is flowers. you never want to buy her something that’s going to die soon anyway. my career.”
as they parted ways after leaving the apple store, drake offered one last piece of advice.
“always remember: hold on to your dream, but don’t let your dream hold on to you. christina milian.”
—the champ
Your #10 is killing me. #itsfunnycuzitstrue.
Co-sign with everyone else. Funny post especially “the worst gift to get a woman is flowers. you never want to buy her something that’s going to die soon anyway. my career.” Lol…
“the worst gift to get a woman is flowers. you never want to buy her something that’s going to die soon anyway. my career.” Lol…
i was actually surprised drake put that in there. i would have expected him to say “john mccain” or something
i’m dyin over this whole thing.. i gotta stop laughing.. focus and regroup..
i’ll be back.. terminator..
“i’m dyin over this whole thing.. i gotta stop laughing.. focus and regroup”
you could have put “america after ron artest’s post-finals interview” after this
d*mn..
THAT’s TRUE!!
LOL!!
This ish is hilarious. I knew it wouldn’t be a real interview and was wondering where this one would go. Green light.
Red light!
Sorry, your comment made me want to play an impromptu game of Red light/Green light.
And of course, YOU would enjoy this, Slimmie. You and your forever Drake tweets on Twittah.
Wanted to point out that Cheekie is commenting late. Michelle Duggar.
Not Michelle Duggar! A Mess!!!
I can tell this day is gonna be chock full of #draketweets. Might be a record! lmao
“I knew it wouldn’t be a real interview and was wondering where this one would go. Green light.”
LOL
Drake look like a bottle-nosed dolphin…why r we takin advice from flipper? Sea world.
you have to give it to him though; pretty much everything he said was on point
Ahhh! I can’t read anymore posts written in “Young Money-ese.” Especially since it can be Addictive, Truth Hurts.
#7 and #10 – you know you’re wrong for that
Forget Steve Harvey, I want to see a relationship round-table with Drake, Tyler Perry and Hill Harper.
LOL
A relationship round table with three light skinned men, gets the side eye… who would trust that?… Plus don’t they all like the mens? I still don’t know what the three of them do. Is Draker a rapper? Is Hill an actor? Is Tyler a man?
That entire idea gets the side eye, Tavis Smiley.
Forget Steve Harvey, I want to see a relationship round-table with Drake, Tyler Perry and Hill Harper
during our brunch, drake actually mentioned that he was thinking about retiring from rap to write books. that roundtable may not be too far away
lmao @ Young Money-ese
Lmao@ young money-ese. Someone please put that in urban dictionary. (lurkers make yourselves useful. Bookman.)
I don’t exactly agree with number 8 but i laughed until i almost pissed my pants. Fergie.
@Jennell
LMAO@ Fergie.
“I don’t exactly agree with number 8 but i laughed until i almost pissed my pants. Fergie.”
“drunk white girl” might have worked here as well
This entire post is ridiculous but #2 almost killed me and #8 got the o_O.
Sidebar: mango and pheasant omelets…GTFOH!!
Sidebar: mango and pheasant omelets…GTFOH!!
don’t knock it till you try it. they were actually kind of tasty
Champ, I love you. In the platonic business partner kind of way, of course.
We know you’re secret lovers. Atlantic Starr.
“We know you’re secret lovers. Atlantic Starr.”
secretly love deez. champ
Fam hit it on the head with the bonus tip! I never thought that I would say that about a person involved in a bromance with Lil Wayne.
I think it’s a three way love triangle bromance with Drizzy, Trey Songz and Wayne. Yeah…lol
Right! They sure do got something special between them. Lol.
As my grandmother would say: “something in the milk ain’t clean.” Although Trey Songz is magically delicious. Lucky Charms.
Did you see the vid of Drake and Trey at summerjam? If not youtube it. They looked liked they were about to go back stage and get it on with each other. Marvin Gaye.
@miss t-lee,
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
Twinny, hush LOL
I can see the 3 of them making a remix to “Lil Freak” together. They can talk about girls all they want but we know and they know. Shorty Low.
This thread makes me uncomfy. Mo’nique in a thong.
@miss t-lee,
BWAHAHA, must check this out.
Ya’ll should see it if ya’ll haven’t already. Heyll, while i was watching it I was madd uncomfortable. Wedgie.
*waves at E-Twinny*
Yuuuuuuupppppp!
Y’all are killing me with Drakespeak. Take y’all tails to bed!
“Y’all are killing me with Drakespeak.”
backpackers