the champ met with recording artist drake for brunch yesterday to discuss the budding megastar’s new album and upcoming tour. over mango and pheasant omelets and mimosas, the toronto native also talked about the obama effect, jamaal magloire, and how gay it was going to read when champ included the part about them eating mango and pheasant omelets together in this piece.
as they left brunch and walked to a nearby apple retailer to stand in line for the iphone4, drake brought up that he was a longtime fan of verysmartbrothas.com (“ya’ll dudes got soul for real. candy rain“), and offered a few dating and relationship tips for the vsb readers.
***before continuing, please be advised that drake has a bit of a, for lack of a better term, “unique” way of phrasing his points where he follows each sentence with an unrelated word that further articulates the main point of the last five or so words of the previous sentence . if this is too confusing to understand, that’s okay, because you shouldn’t be taking relationship advise from 24 year old canadians anyway***
1. “unless he puts a ring on it first, never let a dude beat it in the whip. chris brown”
2. “trust me, ladies: if you please your man in bed, he’ll stay locked down. kwame kilpatrick”.
3. “a man should always pay for at least the first three dates. if he doesn’t do this, cut him off and don’t look back. beltway drivers”
4. “meeting people and dating is hard work. but, once you get past that, relationships themselves should be super easy. delta chicks”
5. “a little first date nervousness is cool, but make sure to relax. have a drink if you need to. you don’t want to be all sweaty and smelly. pau gasol”
6. “be a man with a plan. nobody wants to be with a dude who can’t make up his mind. tyler perry”
7. “ladies, accentuate your assets. if you’re funny, tell jokes. if you’re cute but not that bright, smile and wear short skirts. sarah palin”
8. “ladies say they want the truth, but really they just want to hear what makes them feel good. honesty is cool sometimes, but for the best results just tell them want they want to hear. black churches”
9. “if he asks you how many people you’ve slept with, leave without a word or lie about the number. tony hayward”
10. “the worst gift to get a woman is flowers. you never want to buy her something that’s going to die soon anyway. my career.”
as they parted ways after leaving the apple store, drake offered one last piece of advice.
“always remember: hold on to your dream, but don’t let your dream hold on to you. christina milian.”