1. Love hurts just like Ralph Tresvant told us.
Who’d have thought the dude who brought us possibly the 3rd gayest song in history behind only Carl Thomas’ “Emotional” and The Village People’s “YMCA” would be spitting so much knowledge. Real talk, if you’ve never been in pain, you’ve never been in love.
2. If the woman isn’t smiling when you meet her, you should keep on walking.
While chicks who smile too much might look like The Joker in The Dark Knight, the fact is that chicks who are scowling will get you dead and probably don’t believe in fellatio or Christmas.
3. You should always feel comfortable with the person you’re with.
If it ever feels like you have to walk on eggshells or temper what you say, it’s time for an intervention or a resolution. Word to Aaliyah. RIP.
4. Try not to live with regrets.
Regrets f*cking suck. You never want to wish you had said something more or done something else. Plus, the Jay-Z song off of Reasonable Doubt was dope but truth is, it was the gayest song on that entire album. And nobody wants to be associated with the gayest song on an album. Except maybe Jay-Z who ALSO made the song “Lucky Me” on Volume 1 which might be the absolute fruitiest hiphop song in history.
5. Do not kick squirrels in the presence of somebody you’re interested in.
While I’m not a big fan of squirrels, you never know who is and who’s watching. If you kick a squirrel you might miss out on the woman or man of your dreams because, well, they love squirrels and bushy tails. F*ck bushy tails personally, but hey, some people believe in PETA and their causes. Me? My closet looks like a pet cemetery. Word to Cam’ron.
6. Don’t try to control love.
Let love control you. Well, feelings at least. The more you try to control the dating process the more everything will go haywire and somebody will want to stab you with a pitchfork and two sets of matches from a Marriott hotel out in Poughkeepsie. I’ve never been there but I imagine it sucks monkey nuts.
7. If you don’t feel a spark initially, and you’re a woman, take a chance on love. If you’re man, keep on walking.
I know, double standards are a motherf*cker but the truth is, men can grow on women. The opposite is not true. If a dude isn’t feeling a chick upfront, there’s no chance in Hades that she’ll grow on him unless he lives in a Midwestern city like Omaha where I imagine Black booty is at a premium. Of course if you’re into snow bunnies and cornstalk love then maybe this is all moot. But really, I have no clue what I’m talking about right now anyway so hi-five an Amish dude.
8. Communication is at least the mailbox key.
Which is why dating a deaf or mute person is not going to work out so well. Not that they can’t communicate. What with technology the way it is nowadays, a deaf person can have a full fledge text relationship with somebody of sound (PUN) organs without missing a beat. But really, share your feelings and your thoughts as much as possible except on Sundays and during the NBA Playoffs. Sure we all know that communication is key to a healthy relationship, but when was the last time that Oprah or a grown arse man who didn’t dress in drag told you this? It’s been a long time. Word to Rakim.
9. Lie until you have to tell the truth.
Whoa. Did Panama just say lie? Yes he did. If you have somebody worth loving, then sometimes you are going to have to reframe your convos in such a way that is disingenuous to how you feel. As long as you’re not lying about cheating, making sure that the way you present info helps the other person feel better about themselves is a small price to pay. Like paying for shoestrings in Taiwan. But, if they won’t let you live or be great and keep forcing the issue, well, f*ck them up against the wall and make them check the rhyme. What does that mean? It means that Rock The Bells with ATCQ is here this weekend in Maryland and I won’t be there. Go me.
10. Realize that nobody will love you as much as you love yourself.
If you’re relying on somebody else to make you feel good about yourself than you are hustling backwards. People are inherently selfish and out for their own good first and foremost. Do you first and let other’s fall in line. If they don’t fall in live, electric slide their arses right on down the road. And um stay away from too much plastic surgery. Word to Michael Jackson. RIP and happy birthday, ninja.
Those are some facts from Panama Jackson. From the heart. What are some relationship facts that you subscribe to and follow at all times?
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka KING JACKSON aka KING BEEF aka VITAMIN P aka 40 P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3
Also shoutouts to everybody I met tonight at the Blogger Happy Hour in DC. My friend with the with the bootleg business cards, my Asian Latina friend and her homey who loves Champ and not PJ, the two chicks from Hampton with the never-ending donks, the Deltas who danced with gay guys, the homey who travelled with the chick who sounds like a drink waiting to happen, the homey who got buzzed off of one martini, Leon, Dr. Jay from SBM and various other sites, homey from DC to BC and the folks putting the happy on, Usual Suspectz. It was fun. We must do it again!
*insert something related to the topic*
“I know, double standards are a motherf*cker but the truth is, men can grow on women. The opposite is not true. If a dude isn’t feeling a chick upfront, there’s no chance in Hades that she’ll grow on him unless he lives in a Midwestern city like Omaha where I imagine Black booty is at a premium.”"
^^^^^True sh*t
I’m currently trying to bring myself to be attracted to this girl I met a little while ago but for whatever reason she just hasn’t gotten more attractive. When I get to know a girl, I’ve pretty much made up in my mind whether or not we could ever be in a relationship (from my side at least.)
i think most guys are like that. you meet a chick and there’s an instant connection or there isn’t one. what comes of it is the stuff of legends, fairy dust, and shaft remakes.
“*insert something related to the topic*”
Co-sign! Yup, this is so true!
o_O
Rawr!
…Dammit.
U didn’t believe enough..
Lol I almost spit out my coffee laughing (no hetero) @ u didn’t believe enough.
PS mulatto to mulatto dap
LMAO. that was well played.
“It means that Rock The Bells with ATCQ is here this weekend in Maryland and I won’t be there. Go me.”
You just haaaadd to say that, I’m semi-depress that I won’t be making an event thats literally RIGHT AROUND THE MOTHER-EFFIN CORNER from me!
Oh well, Comic-Con is Saturday so that partially makes up for it.
i can top your story. i have a ticket and won’t be able to go. life happens sometimes. i cant effin’ BELIEVE i’m gonna miss ATCQ, Snoop, Wu AND Lauryn Hill.
honestly, i might just take a week off of life to dwell on this.
i’ll think of the two of you while i’m there. i’m not on the lawn either, i got a real seat. whoo hoo!
but i do gotta sit my behind in the house tonight – the show is all dang day. if don’t get a lot of sleep i will for sure be dozin off. can’t have that.
muggs, lady of rage, rakim, the wu conglomerate, krs, premier…ok imma stop.
off topic – i think “i know what girls like” is a hunned times worse than “lucky me”.
both songs do indeed suck arse but you cannot convince me that lucky me isnt the worst song of jay’s career.
if “lucky me” played on ipod shuffle while i was asleep i probably could sleep through it.
if “i know what girls like” came on it would wake me up and give me nightmares.
probably b/c the former has a easy listening muzak vibe, but the former sounds like nails on a chalkboard to me. i’ve never been able to listen to the whole song. like ever. after the chorus kicks in i have to cut it off. i’m aware there are other people on the track but i couldn’t identify any of their bars. not even if the answer to one of my cases translating trap slang for the dea depended on it.
*former sounds like nails on a chalkboard* should read *latter sounds like nails on a chalkboard*
@chocopina
“i’m not on the lawn either, i got a real seat”
(Hangs head in shame). Unfortunately, I will be on the lawn. I think I may shed a tear droplet when ATCQ performs and I’m not up front for the experience. Go me.
u can try to “salahi” ur way to a seat, lol. i did that earlier this month at the spirit festival. helps to know security i tell ya. but this show will have more people than the spirit fest.
this is the 1st time i have a legitimate pavilion seat. i’ve had lawn seats for every other show. now whether or not i stayed on the lawn is diff story.
CTFU @ “Salahi” your way to a seat!
@chocopina
“u can try to “salahi” ur way to a seat”
D.E.A.D. at this!
I will see how things go. I really don’t like taking risks that will likely end up in embarrassment: “Hey Miss? You need to go back to your patch of grass on the lawn!”
Did this at Birthday Bash in Atlanta. Key is to climb through the middle of the rows and not be the first one to try it. Helps to get there early, of course.
after last nite’s episode “salahi” will forver be in my lexicon
- “girl we should salahi our way into vip”
- “how’d you get those seats on the 50yd line?” “i straight salahi’d them seats yo”
- “i had to salahi my way into that class, the professor wasn’t tryin to let me add it”
I too am on the lawn and I am wondering is 3PM late enough to get a spot that is not near bathrooms or trashcans.
PJ, Iono what family emergency is keeping you from Rock The Bells but I will pour some, err, water out for you.
Electric Relaxation FTMFW!
“i can top your story. i have a ticket and won’t be able to go. life happens sometimes. i cant effin’ BELIEVE i’m gonna miss ATCQ, Snoop, Wu AND Lauryn Hill.
honestly, i might just take a week off of life to dwell on this.”
Yeah that pretty much takes the cake.
I’m not tripping to hard though, The Roots are coming downtown (Bmore) in October and I will absolutely be there, I’ll take one of their live shows over 99.9% of anyone in HipHop.
@Rog
Holla at me, I’ll be down there too. And to everyone else, if you’ve never seen the Roots perform live you’ve never been to a REAL show. I’m serious as a STD.
…..Rock the Bells….I was going to go but nah. For one, the tickets are way overpriced this year. Last year I paid $70 and had a pavilion seat. This year they wanted $120. And really I’m not trying to sit there for (at least) 12 hours….again.
@Panama
I came through the Park but I had on tennis so I couldn’t get in (dress code is real serious btw). Maybe next time.
Sounds like yall did it up though.
Haha. most of this is real talk. Are you very smart ones up for any Presidential Medals of Freedom yet? However, my family lives in Omaha. (I’m moving back to Tejas thank God.) and let me assure you, a)there are plenty o’ black people (dude, I was surprised too) and b) none have/will grow on me.
Are you the illest ninja in Nebraska?
“Are you the illest ninja in Nebraska?”
Dying.
I rolls dolo from state 2state!!
you know, i’ve met more people from Nebraska this past year than in my entire life. and they’ve all been Black. i was telling the homey from Omaha (sorry, i suck at names in loud places) at the happy hour last night that i met a chick from Omaha who was like a dime and was ilke, “they make y’all out there??” i was shocked.
but here you all go. i guess Hype Williams was on to something when he took the movie to Omaha.
Yep we roll 60K deep in the “Big O” lol. I was born and raised there, attended undergrad there. However, I made my escape 8 yrs ago to bigger and better place…with a better pool of ninjas
Belly was garbage by the way and not a good look for the city at all.
Great list but I think #10 should be #1. Self-love (pause) is critical whether you’re single, dating or married.
P.S: I’m still swooning from touching the cleft in your chin so I think I’ll go to bed now…
I definitely teared up reading #10 which should def be #1. That should be on every list ever.
Oh panama.
*insert tear smiley*
“Learning to love…yourself…it is the greatest…love…of all…”
*Shame how good she used to look (sniff…okay, maybe ‘sniff wasn’t the best thing to say)
can’t say its not ironic that somebody named B.Brown is taking shots at Whitney. LOL
lol…and you really did. i was like what is she finna do…oh…that. LOL.
#happyhourgoodtimes
hmm i think my first comment went into moderation if so delete it!
good points pj.
though I dont agree with the lying, I totally agree that you do have to reframe a lot of shyt …
I also would add say what you really mean not what you think you should say or what you think your SO wants you to say.
if they ask you if its cool to go on that trip to jamaica with her girlfriends and without you? dont say no and then be all passive agressive when she gets home or call her on the phone and pick arguments
sometimes we are guilted into trying to be a person we are not.. if you are jealous then be jealous. dont try to not be jealous so you end up being a stalker and beating up poor unsuspecting men at ATM’s and shyt.
lastly relationships are HARD f*cking work. There are times when yo momma cant stand you so TRUST you will get on your partners nerves and They WILL get on yours. dont get all a.nal and read all types of extra shyt into it.
sometimes shyt really is, what it is.
^Truth… Lying to your partner can be damaging even if it’s small, but it doesn’t have to be… But lying to yourself only digs you into a hole you can’t get out of. Feelings are feelings… you can control how you act on them, but you should never feel wrong/guilty for having them, and no one else should make you feel like you are, either.
Good points!
yeah, i only said lying b/c i knew it would garner a reaction from everybody. lol. NOBODY goes into a situation thinking they will or should lie to another. or at least i hope not.
actually, felons probably go into relationships thinking that. but they are also paranoid about dropping soap so perhaps the two worlds dont really compare.
Double truth…lying to oneself is the beginning of the end of your sanity. Word!
My closet looks like a pet cemetery. Word to Cam’ron.
Completely off-topic, but if any of y’all have a phone that reads your text messages or whatever, text Cam’ron lyrics to your friends and play them out loud.
Me and my brother have been playing this game for like three years and it’s provided countless hours of hilarity.
I do the hokey pokey..
I don’t do okey dokey..
And I’m a rolly polly..
..holy moley..
That just made my whole day
5. Do not kick squirrels in the presence of somebody you’re interested in.
I would actually be impressed if someone was able do that because squirrels around here scurry along swiftly. It seems it would be impossible to get near one.
Hawaii is in no way condoning or advocating any harm or foulplay to squirrels or any other one of God’s creatures.
I kicked it with a squirrel once.. I suppose that’s not the same thing tho..
@RemTheMulatto
That’s even more impressive!
@Hawaii I was thinking the same thing. Who can catch a squirrel? Or sneak up on one? They’re fast little creatures!
RANDOM: have you ever seen a chipmunk?! I hadn’t until about a year ago. Why was I like Alllllll-vin!!!!!!! I mean it looked exactly like……..well “The Chipmunks”. Lol
RANDOM: have you ever seen a chipmunk?! I hadn’t until about a year ago. Why was I like Alllllll-vin!!!!!!! I mean it looked exactly like……..well “The Chipmunks”. Lol
this made me literally laugh out loud.
@Oftenconfused
The chipmunk story is funny as heck!
Squirrels are just rats with naturals. If you have the chance to kick a squirrel, do it.
Squirrels are just rats with naturals and good PR. They should be stumped. Kicking is too good for them.
‘Squirrels are just rats with naturals and good PR”
You made me think about my homeboy from college how he literally tried to stomp on a dam squirrel while on the yard….LOL!
I tell this story to folks all the time but, I indirectly killed a squirrel once.
It was when I was in college. I was walking home from class, and there was a squirrel in front of me. Now, you know if you come anywhere near them — like even 10 feet…scary paranoid a*s ninjas — they’re gonna flee up a tree or something. Well, not this nutcase. This nicca ran into the street…without looking and a car ran right over the thing. That squirrel was thrown up into the air and landed right back on the street. His tail wiggled frantically a bit…then stopped. Sh*t traumatized me.
It’s probably why I’m not married today.
Your soul mate was the driver of that car. The fates had it set up for you to meet him in the library later on that year. The accident left your potential soul mate so guilt ridden he dropped out of school, and began searching for ways to atone for his sin. He finally decided to hit the high seas and battle Japanese whalers…who eventually killed him in cold blood when his crew and the plum wine and ecstasy the were abusing convinced them it was a good idea to board whaling ship. Cheekie the death of that squirrel cost you your Prince Charming. You must go back in time and save that squirrel’s life or all is lost.
*smh* I laughed and laughed and laughed at this.
*quits you*
Sad story (although it sorta funny too).
I killed a baby rabbit once and I’m still traumatized and sad about it because I ? bunnies.
I can’t even bring myself to tell the story…
I had killed a kitten once, when I was two years old.
Did you kill a human by age four? First sign of a psychopath…
1. You ain’t lying. The downside is a mug…and it ain’t full of lemonade.
2. If this isn’t truth to paper (or screen), I’m not sure what is.
3. This one I’m not so sure of…if I’m 100% comfortable around a VSS, then she doesn’t excite me anymore – and that’s a problem.
4. Regrets (the song) was tight. Could have done without Bring It On, though. Not much one for regrets anyway: I believe everything happens for a reason…I may apologize for a ‘how’, but that’s about all.
5. I’m going to assume there’s a reference I don’t get here. I never think about squirrels in this locale and we don’t have them at home.
6. Love is like fate in this aspect: got to let it ride and just handle situations as they come.
7. And let the church say ‘amen’ on the VSB part…I can’t not like (sorry for the double) a VSS and then grow to like her, because I don’t like her for a reason. Even if said reason vanishes, she’s already in the hole – and then it’s best for both of us if I continue to employ that Heisman.
8. Si, es muy importante.
9. Flip this one (Dominique Dawes)…she’s getting the truth whether she likes it or not. I will tell (and have told) girlfriends I didn’t like their hair. I have told them – well, one – that she couldn’t be going out with me looking the way she looked at the time. I sell truth like it’s game, and if that’s not what you want then Brown can’t do anything for you.
10. As TO said, I love me some me. No VSS can love me as much as I love me: it’s just not possible. Now if she loves someone else more than she loves me, then we’re going to have issues – even if it’s family, she should be able to balance that out.
I have one to add…your intended has to be the person you want before you get together. They won’t somehow become that person afterwards. If there’s something about Mary that you don’t like, blow it off and go find Jane.
your addition is real talk.
but um, how do you live in a place with no squirrels. you from antarctica?
I’m curious about what your girl/girlfriend did when you told her you didn’t like her hair, or when you said she couldn’t come out with you looking like she looked. ‘Cause if a ninja said that to me? Whoowee!
On your #3. . . i would hope you could still be excite by someone while being 100% comfortable with them. Otherwise I can imagine it now, 20 years after being married, your wife randomly jumps at you with a knife. Why you ask why, she responds “just keeping it real”.
2 years later, there is a new episode of “when keeping it real goes wrong”.
I’ll answer all the replies at once to save space.
@Panama: I live in Tallahassee right now (where they run all around and I just never think about them), but am from Fort Lauderdale (where I can’t ever remember seeing a squirrel…but have seen countless ducks, lizards, frogs, and other assorted animals).
@KitKat: This happened three times (all different women). The first time, she ran into her room and I assume started crying. I refuse to take blame for this one – yes, I hear the groans – because we had this convo beforehand. She asked me a question as to whether I’d like a style she was going for and I gave her one of those honest ‘no’ answers I’m talking about. She tried to play the old “you’ll like it if it’s me” game. “Alright”…when I stuck to what I previously told her, she got upset.
Second one could have cared less what I liked…oddly enough, these were my last 3 girlfriends. Anyway, she did whatever she wanted. I was cool with that and it never really affected “us”.
Third one was somewhere in the middle. She knew what I liked and didn’t like, but it didn’t necessarily keep her from doing what she wanted. I think sometimes she was “too considerate” of my interests, but at the same time no one ever called her ‘sir’ when she rocked a style I liked.
My main thing is this: I will not try to take away your right to do anything – hair or otherwise. You will not take away my right to disagree with anything you do. Same also applies in the other direction, of course.
@kamakula: Safety is part of comfort. I can’t be comfortable if I’m not safe, but I can be safe and not be comfortable. I’m the type that always goes that extra mile in relationships, and I see being 100% comfortable as being somewhere where I’m resting on my laurels. If I’m married to someone for 20 years, I owe her more than that. If I’m married to – or even dating – her, I owe her more than that.
“5. Do not kick squirrels in the presence of somebody you’re interested in.”
also off topic…. i saw a squirrel jump onto someone’s head once. it shat on her head and pulled out her weave ponytail. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL! with that being said
you should ALWAYS kick the squirrels.
thx for the donk shoutout, pj.
Why is this not on Youtube or something?
The best moments aren’t..
well look who decided to comment. now if you just get the Arkeologist to stop faking and do the same we can make it a party. lol.
methinks you actually just wanted folks to know you’re one of the chicks with the donk. LOL.
and moments like those with the squirrel are why all smartphones come with video cameras.
partyTIME!!! excelLENT!!!
LOL @ donks? really?
well looky here who popped her comment cherry. LOL. and YOU all started the donk convo. i was minding my own business thinking about my humanitarian mission and next thing i know somebody throws the word “donk” around and 12 guys all looked up like “did somebody say a**?” lol.
so yes. donks. really.
oh, yes. i told you i would comment! so take all those “she’s full of s**t” comments and go play with them in traffic lol
oh, holup. nope. don’t say “YOU all” that was all her. I was just an innocent bystander.
Your donk is like a black man in a room full of white: just standing there not bothering anyone, but everyone is watching, waiting for it to do something.
i’m sorry but that was the most hilarious description of a donk i think i’ve read in a long time.
“methinks you actually just wanted folks to know you’re one of the chicks with the donk. LOL.”
Can you blame them? lol
“shat on her head and pulled out her weave ponytail”
Dead!
“you should ALWAYS kick the squirrels.”
CO-SIGN!
I don’t generally condone cruelty to animals (says the woman who threatens to punch the dog in his cute little face on a regular basis) but squirrels are nothing but rats with cuter costumes. Punt those little bastards whenever possible. and really, where is the youtube video of this weave pulling squirrel?!
My mom is petrified of squirrels. If she sees one standing on a sidewalk, she will walk in the street to avoid it, even if there is a lot of traffic.
Lie until you have to tell the truth
I disagree with the statement, but not the logic.
Edit: Withhold the truth until it’s time to tell the truth.
No woman wants to hear about how you f*cked Beyonce before she got famous, but if Beyonce still sends you the occasional “How you doin?” text message, better tell the new Mrs. about it.
Now I can get with this: if asked, tell. If not, let it be. I will surely use the 1-2-3-4-Fif when I need to. She asks this question or that question, alright…but I’m not running off at the mouth without sufficient reason or prompt.
Agreed. Truth be told. I thought everyone operated under the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy. Hell, one of the main things my grandmother told me growing up was to never tell a man everything, somethings weren’t meant to be told and if he don’t ask, don’t tell.
I’ve always been amazed at how forthcoming some folks are with their information. No sense of descretion now-a-days. *shrug* Oh well
Nice post Panama
Agreed. I’m a believer of the “need to know basis”. I use it, often.
well put.
question (and that’s if only i can ask this question – can I? – YES YOU CAN!): would any woman actually believe their man if he said he smashed off Beyonce?
Well, I’d be concerned if it were true, because didn’t she start gaining notoriety at like 16? And if he f’d her before she was famous, when would that be? Like when she was 14, 15? As a late bloomer myself, I’m a bit intimidated by dudes who pop their cherries mere seconds after their balls drop.
Can yall do a happy hour in NYC? Thanks. That is all.
sure.
Aww RIP Aaliyah, dang it’s been 9years..I wonder how different things would have been if she was still here. Like would Beyonce’ Rihanna and Ciara (dance wise) be relevant?? Aaliyah was gonna marry Dame Dash, and I don’t wanna speak ill of the dead but she was married to R.Kelly so she wasn’t some perfect lil’ angel, and she was on THE VAMPiRE ish before it got popular back then it was only Buffy but now with the whole VampDiaries True Blood Twilight etc,..I feel like people bring on bad “vibes/spirits” when they do certain movies/characters could be wrong but I think about Heath Ledger as crazyarse Joker, then boom you die, or playing an evildemonic Vampire queen then die, naming your album Ready to Die or be on Deathrow records, die, Good Girl Gone Bad/Rated R,etc. or how her Michael and James Brown all died on the 25th…it’s very interesting to me
Off off subject, queen of the damned was the worse film adaptation of a book in all of history. Just the thought of it makes me want to …………………………………… do something bad. Sorry my lawyer has advised me to cease making death threats.
Hey Eggnog.
I agree. Queen of the Damned ranks right up there with Vanilla Sky in absolute atrociousness – yeah I said atrociousness.
The terrible rock music in almost every scene of Queen of the Damned was more horrifying than the movie. Absolutely excruciating to watch and listen to.
Queen of the Damned ranks right up there with Vanilla Sky in absolute atrociousness –
Vanilla Sky is the worst movie ever. Like seriously. Right after it is The mother eff’n Fountain. But yeah Vanilla Sky sucks Monkey Arse gigantic balls.
lmao…this is like the 35th time I’ve head The Fountain was that monkey ball suckage. Haven’t seen it. Forgot about it really…but I’ve heard horror stories.
And yeah, Queen of the Damned was…yeah.
Vanilla Sky STILL tops my movie seen in the theater regret list.
Please add “Bloodrayne” (2005) to that list. The simple thought of it make me belligerent as fu@k and makes me want to throw chairs!
i feel like you watched that blood sacrifice nincompoopery on youtube and bought it hook line and sinker.
@Panama
And what nincompoopery have you bought into?
I’ve never seen Blood Sacrifice or even heard of it, but I can pretty much guess what its about based on your response. A lot of ‘conspiracy theories’ and school of thought that goes against the grain usually turn out to be true eventually. History has proved this time and time again. I wouldnt be so quick to be so dismissive because something sounds ‘absurd’.
To do so would mean accepting that prominent figures in history such as JFK, MLK and Malcolm were assasinated by your everyday random radical crazy man as it was told to the world.
lol…while i can appreciate a good conspiracy theory like everybody else, Blood Sacrifice for fame specifically referenced some of what she said and is absolutely absurd – not that its even what she’s referencing.
but thanks for the enlightenment.
I wanna copy.paste. this list to people with Relationship problems…right now I’m content being single, but it would be nice to have a boo thang
“I’m content being single, but it would be nice to have a boo thang”
yeah, i feel you on this. I dunno i if I really want a relationship, but it’s so nice when you have a ‘boo. someone calling and checking on you, and always excited to see you.
A german shepherd + doggy phone and your requirements would be met!
true, and i’d get doggie kisses (eww)
1) i really liked the picture for this post…like ALOT
2) i actually do think men can develop a spark later on….i’ve known it to happen and several guys have told me that it has happened to them.
happy friday errrbody!
2) i actually do think men can develop a spark later on….i’ve known it to happen and several guys have told me that it has happened to them.
im curious about this b/c those dudes must be exceptions.
I think this is definitely the exception, I have had this happen to be a couple times too but I know its because they began to see me as a different person than they’d originally known over the years. For instance, one guy I’ve known since undergrad (when I was a scrawny kid as he says) started gettin’ at me tough when I was 25-26 bc I had not only filled out in the right areas (went from 140 to 160 and I’m 5’8) but he said he could tell I’d grown up and was confident and more of a woman basically not the same cute lil girl he once knew.
So I definitely agree with Panama on this one, if a guy isn’t interested in you as more than a friend be it to jump you or wife you… there is no waiting to see where it goes or if he’ll get the memo, because he won’t.
Another double standard:
(from personal experience)The characteristic of humility is only attractive on men (and it is even more attractive if the man is physically gorgeous) than it is on women.
With guys, it is a cute quality. With women, however, humility sometimes can come off as being insecure/low self-esteem.
#1 – Cosign of “Love Hurts” being the 3rd gayest song in history. Oddly, “Sensitivity” is 5th, just ahead of “What What, In the Butt”
#2 – A chick doesn’t have to be smiling, but if she’s mean muggin, keep moving
#3 – Guys – don’t get TOO comfortable. You do have to change your draws and not greet your girl in stained sweats and an undershirt
#4 – Word. All you will do is make yourself crazy. * looks for DeLorean from Back to the Future *
#5 – I ran over a squirrel in driver’s ed. And my teacher wanted to look at me side eyed like he didn’t have a brake pedal.
#6 – #kanyeshrug
#7 – Don’t remember who originally said this, but it the saying was something like “If you want someone to grow on you, they’ll fester like a fungus.” So, I’m team spark
#8 – True dat
#9 – This is backward. Men should only lie if it’s life or death. Like if your girl asks if she’s fat.
Or if your man asks if it’s his baby#10 – To tie in love yourself and not get too much plastic surgery, did you see that Heidi Montag’s plastic surgeon died tweeting while driving? Yeah, love yourself; that call or text can wait. Word to Oprah.
#1 – Cosign of “Love Hurts” being the 3rd gayest song in history. Oddly, “Sensitivity” is 5th, just ahead of “What What, In the Butt”
whats your number 1?
#5 and #9 has me laughing!!! That was a good start to my day, thanks! I always wondered, if someone had plastic surgery to alter their looks or got gastric bypass etc and their looks have drastically changed…should they tell their new partner? Isn’t like false advertising? I know a guy who nixed a girl because she told him she spend $20,000 on plastic surgery and refused to show him before pics.
I’ve lost a lot of weight (through dieting and exercise) and I MAKE SURE to tell dudes about it. And eventually I show them the before pics too. Not to say that I plan on letting myself go any time soon, but certainly if they snicker and say, “You looked like that girl we used to torture in 6th grade until she developed bulemia”, then that’s a bit of a red flag to me.
Congrats girl! I know that must have been really hard and takes alot of discipline. Hell I was trying to lose 10lbs and nearly killed myself. lol
nice post p to the jay.
i hate squirrels. but i’d still immediately side eye someone and back away slowly if they kicked one.
down with love. lol.
why do you hate love!
@Panama
Because love seems to hate us.
But bring on the lions and tigers and bears.
Last week I had to do this cheesy/”fun” presentation at my company’s monthly team meeting and needed a picture depicting ‘love’. So I head over to Google Image’s and find the sweetest image. Then I come here looking for today’s new post and thought, oh, I’ve seen this one already… But no. Panama and I just have the same source for on demand images
yay. i dont even remember what i googled for this picture.
I love this post’s picture too. I’ve also seen it before. Maybe it’s my love of the color red, but it’s a dope pic.
Ok my only Comment is im from Beacon which is like 10min away from Poughkeepsie….and its not really that bad there!!!
That is All
i dont believe you.
my cousin’s live in near there. hopewell junction, i’ve been there.. once you pass the prison on the way north from NYC.. its lovely.
Cornstalk love? CTFU. Love the whole list especially #10. I see you and I will never agree on ol’ boy Carl huh?
not ever. like never ever ever.
I co-sign the whole list…especially not kicking squirrels, its the quickest way I’ve seen to turn someone off…::shrug::
yep. it would make me mad. and i dont like being mad. i like being unmad.
and i hate squirrels. like Dash said. they’re rats with better PR
The quickest way to turn me off is to smile and I realize you’ve gone through life without realizing you needed to fix your teeth. Your teeth should not be in a battle of epic proportions with one another.
or when you smile. your face looks uglier. that’s the saddest thing and i feel badly even saying so.. but this woman on bloomberg tv was talking the other day. she stopped and smiled… and i flinched. it was terribly unfortunate.
Now this is what I’m talking about: a VSS who watches Bloomberg. I’m still in shock that none of my MBA-having (or seeking) friends watch. I surely watch msnbc…just saying.
I have been cracking up all morning reading these here comments but this right here… this line right here
“Your teeth should not be in a battle of epic proportions with one another.”
*D.E.A.D*
I broke up with this dude because he spanked his daughters’ 3 lb Yorkie. I tole that ninja, “if you would spank a 3 Lb Yorkie what in the hel would you do to me?” Ole mean as*, Brooklyn as* ninja
Man, I wanted to go to Happy Hour last night, but I didn’t want to go by myself, and my friends suck. Anyway, sounds like it was a good time.
And #10 spoke to me. I’m currently trying to figure out a way to always remember this.
@Carter
“I wanted to go to Happy Hour last night, but I didn’t want to go by myself, and my friends suck”
This was almost my dillema, but I ended up bringing a new friend that I had not really hung out with before. o_O Boy……I got stories! LOL! It was a fun night though. You missed a good one. : )
it was a good one. what stories do you have?
yeah i rolled by myself. but i feel like in this city you’re ALWAYS guaranteed to run into people you know. even if it wasn’t for the “blogger meet up” aspect of it i ran into more ninjas i know in there than a little bit.
speaking of which, if you were there and i didnt see you. sorry. there was no designated spot to meet everybody. hell, i kept introducing folks to other people i knew like leon and dr jay etc. b/c it was park i couldnt just rock the VSB tshirt like i normally would and bc my face aint ALL over the net folks aint know who to look for.
but shoutouts to the folks who DID know what i looked like based on the atrocious pic that IS up on the net and thankfully didnt think i looked like it. lol.
Sad. I was there, my girls and I had a few words w/ my mans & ‘nem Dr. J but was looking forward to meeting “GIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3′ dammit. Ah well. I guess I’ll have to wait for the next one.
you should have asked Dr Jay to send you my way. a few folks asked me where he was and i made sure to point him out when he walked by, etc. hell, i was rappin’ it up with him for a while…
and that makes perfect sense NOW, however the smell of the jamaican jerk chicken wings had me all messed up. add to it the couple of ciroc red berries & 3% battery life on my phone, and there you have it… complete malarkey.
@Panama
“but shoutouts to the folks who DID know what i looked like based on the atrocious pic that IS up on the net and thankfully didnt think i looked like it. lol.”
You’re welcome. lol!
Yes, thank you CNotes, I wouldn’t have found Panama without your knowledge of that unfortunate picture
Good times were definitely had. Thanks for the shout out, PJ!
Ha ha ha – oh that picture! But it did help in finding you… kinda, sorta lol. And I will co-sign for anyone interested, he doesn’t look like that picture. YAY you for not being a two! WOOOT!
Anyway, two very important things I have to say this morning:
1. The absolute gayest Jay Z song and video is “Sunshine.” You can’t convince me otherwise. Jay… shiny suit era. All kinds of ewwwww.
2. The business card wasn’t THAT bootleg… sigh, okay, it was bad. No lie. But it was great meeting you anyway!
And about the squirrels. I think kicking squirrels would just look weird, not that I know many people who are that sympathetic to squirrels. And if you are able to kick them, it’s probably an old one that’s about to die anyway.
Man, although they may be the gayest songs on their albums, I like “Regrets” and “Lucky Me”. I hate that you said that.
Hear the the hate in my voice, right…I hate that you know this.
as long as you acknowledge that they are really gay.
I like them too, but I’ve been told this is because I’m a girl. Lucky Me really is kinda emo but so what. lol
#10 should be #1, if you aren’t starting with that foundation, then kindly excuse yourself from the dating game. You may insert yourself back in when you have figured out to love you. It’s one of *the most important* thing you can do for you.
How are you going to demand from your SO what you refuse to give to yourself? It’s so empowering to look in the mirror and feel content with who you are. Sometimes I look in the mirror nude and marvel at my sexiness, lol. I also have a healthy dose of confidence because I tell myself I’m fly….positive affirmations anyone?
keep up the good work.
My relationship facts
1.If you have more insecurities than normal ban yourself from all relationships until you get yourself straight.
Examples: If your man/woman can’t stepoutside without you going apeish worrying about someone from the opposite sex being in their face you need to be by yourself. If your position in the relationship is based on some form of power, control, or manipulation of your partners situation you need to be by yourself.
2. If your pride or saving face is more important than your relationship or SO then you need to be by yourself.
3. You have to work as a team in a relationship
Teamwork is vital to a relationship. I didn’t realize it but some people look at relationships as their own TV Sitcom, Revue, etc. and their SO is an extra in the background or guest star at best. They feel their SO’s role in the relationship is to accommodate or entertain their BS. They believe they can do whatever they want or feel and it’s your responsibility to accommodate or go above and beyond the call of duty to make sure that they are the star of the relationship.
4. If you don’t feel you can give a relationship 100% don’t get into a relationship
5. Your SO shouldn’t be a one-stop shop for human interaction.
6. Don’t ask anything of your SO that you aren’t willing to do yourself
7. If he/she show signs of being an emotional bully or emotionally immature run away as fast as possible.
8. How someone was raised plays a significant part of how they will behave in a relationship
9. Get as much info as possible about their past relationships
-if they were never at fault or did anything wrong? Run
-if she seems to have a penchant for Gutta Black, LimpWrist Ricky, or Unscrupulous DeJuan maybe you need to run away.
You are the winner today! I co-sign everything you typed. Go you!
I like this list a lot. I especially think #3 is important. You have to remember that things are 50/50 and you need to be able to get it together personally before you have anything to bring to the table.
Sidenote: How on earth did “King” LeBron think it was okay to refer to the woman bearing his children as his sidekick?! That’s your chosen life partner (at least at this moment)…
Moving along… I also think number 6 is a great lesson in showing that you really love someone. How are you going to ask me to paint your roof while you stand on the ground?!
Now… with number 9… I need to ask… How much information is too much information? And what if she was with LimpWrist Ricky (is he on the dl?) when she was 16? Is there a statute of limitations on this info?
@PerfectlyImperfect
“Now… with number 9… I need to ask… How much information is too much information? And what if she was with LimpWrist Ricky (is he on the dl?) when she was 16? Is there a statute of limitations on this info?”
Anything outside of life experiences is TMI. If you were a hooker(not you) I don’t need to know the details of every trick you turned. There is a statute of limitations to a certain point. If you’ve been with nothing but @ssholes for the past 5 years and right before you met me I’m giving you a side eye. I’m not going to hold your infatuation with small time drug dealers in your late teens against you now that you are 30 years old.
Ooooh #8 is gospel! I know peeps don’t like to be judged and some say the past is the past but I disagree sometimes. You can tell alot about a person by meeting their family/friends and what they experienced growing up. Also what they did and who they dated will tell you about them too. Sorry but it’s true.
@SmartFoxGirl
The past is the past. But there is a tipping point. People can change. But at a certain age you are who you are. What I notice is that bad characteristics(as far as how you treat people) will still be there. They just won’t be as extreme and blatant as they were before. For these people it only takes a rough point in the relationship or an opportunity to get over on you that they can’t pass up.
I get being able to tell things about people because of their past, but I can’t cosign on how they were raised. Yes, this is definitely because of the untraditional way I was raised. If someone were to judge me based on my unorthodox childhood, they can keep on getting on then. *shrugs*
Not all the time but sometimes. What if the person grew up in an extreme cult and witness sacrifices as a child? j/k lol Just sayin. Either way, I’m sure you’ll see the signs as the relationship progresses.
#10 Not only will family ties contribute to how a person treats you, if they didn’t grow up with both parents, they get the automatic side eye. No, it’s not your fault (Good Will Hunting scene), but until YOU know that, it’s not my job to tell you or fix what they f-ked up.
And the whole list is now complete and banging.
This is it right here.
Number one is THE golden rule. Six is golden rule 1A.
@Humble_One
My man, my man. As usual, you never disappoint. Right on brother. Right on.
yes.
Where have ya been? I almost sent Nancy Grace after you but I remembered she specializes in blond girls with blue eyes.
Nice write up.
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Sula.. work has been kickinmya$$.. people wanna get married and ish. lol. so i had to place myself on a vsb timeout.
DEAD @ Nancy Grace…
I was wit you all the way up til you lunched out on #7 and #9, come on young O_o, and :-*
#7 ain’t that much growing in the world.
What you mean to say is that alot of women are willing to work wit a mofo even if there is NO spark.
NOT I said the Orangest Star. Been there, did that done that and never no mo. If I am willing to overlook your gut and lukewarm attraction barely there chemistry and you are still an a$$hole, I lose twice.
No my friend, I can’t do it.
#9…..honey I don’t do lies, don’t like telling them or having them told to me by omission or purposely…. if you lie about small sh*t, in my mind there are no limits to what you wouldn’t be true about. No bueno and not tolerated. The truth may not always be pretty but its always better than a lie. There is no guilt in truth but much freedom whereas lies always bind.
“The truth may not always be pretty but its always better than a lie. There is no guilt in truth but much freedom whereas lies always bind.”
word.
so much wisdom. so much orange.
LLS, if ya’ll have a function on a Friday in a spot I can tolerate, (HATE PARK, and places like that) I may just show up….still not too late to do a BBQ, may be a lil crisp the later it gets but we good up until November for real.
why do so many folks hate Park? i like it.
I guess I just don’t like clubs esp ones like Park and Love … a nice fly lounge is a more relaxed atmosphere, less pretentious but still much ambiance. Depends on my Gemini the day in question tho, in the right mood, shade of orange *shrug* who knows LOL where I may go!!!
if we do a BBQ…..I’ll cook SOME food… SOME. just saying.
Oh, so this BBQ never happened? I thought I missed it or something. A BBQ would be quite awesome.
9. Lie until you have to tell the truth.
I dunno, I always tell the truth and I expect you to do the same. Now, sometimes, the unrequested truth doesn’t need to be told at that exact moment. You can play in the gray area of ‘lies of ommision’ for a little while, but there comes a time when you have to inform the other party about what is going on. And don’t volunteer a lie for a question I never asked.
“And don’t volunteer a lie for a question never asked.”
Put that on t-shirts NOW! That is where I draw the line…When I didn’t ask you anything and you VOLUNTARILY lied and when the real story comes out, you looking at me like “I never said that…” I’m completely and totally done.
Lying to save your a*s is one thing, but lying because it’s Tuesday and the sky is grey is quite another.
I think people (men) do this, as ‘preemptive’ lying. Lie now, so she won’t ask you later and catch you off guard. Thing is, I have a mind like many women…it’s a steel trap—I remember what you said and the day and time and which you said it. I had to pull those guns out this weekend.
Yall women just lied talking about you never lie. Women so full of BS
9. Lie until you have to tell the truth.
You have been watching too much Jersey shore. lol! That is Ronnie to a T!
lol. that is ronnie to a T.
Some things I’d like to add (for Women) are:
1) NEVER take your happy relationship for granted thinking that you can get caught up in work and come home late repeatedly, not call like you used to or spend time with that person like you used to. Unless it’s a death in the family….absence doesn’t always make the heart grow fonder.
2) Love =Sacrifices. You have to sacrifice many things for love. Don’t kid yourself. No more clubbing, no more friends of the opposite sex, no more coming home at 4am, inappropriate convos on VSB, eboos etc. Much will have to change and it’s worth it.
3) Don’t be in a relationship if you’re not ready. You will ruin it for yourself and the other person. If you have emotional hangups or baggage and know you wouldn’t be a good compliment to a man…don’t enter a relationship. I really think a woman should compliment a man and making a relationship work lies more on us than them. Yes! The tone is set by us.
Oh one more thing: Be capable of loving another person. You can’t be selfish, bishy etc and expect a man to fall in love with you. I’m really talking to Black women right now because I’ve met so many bitter, rude, and cold black women that give the rest of us a bad name. This is why many men won’t touch us. Drop the attitude! Say whatever you want about White women, at least many of them know how to fake it until they make it. Put that “keepin it real” attitude in your back pocket.
I cannot sit here and shout how much I agree loud enough!
*high fives*
Sometimes it can be best to sort of keep your mouth shut and smile. That’s going to take you a lot further with a man that being rude.
I totally agree with you, even though sometimes it seems like men prefer the rude ones (despite all their moaning to the contrary). Many people mistake kindness for weakness and try to take advantage, but I will NEVER be the kind of girl who walks all over dudes and then expects to be treated like a queen. Sorry, that’s just not my particular game.
@SFG – Amen, Hallelujah, thank you Jeeeesus!
Especially about the Love=Sacrifice. A lot of folks, especially when they are in their 30′s, expect a mate to just fit into their lives and do not make any accomodations for them. You cannot continue doing everything you did when you were single and then expect someone to be happy with you.
My new Boo (yeah girl he asked for exclusivity last wednesday) – went to a wedding over the weekend and just sent me 1 text message while he was gone. I politiely told him that texting while out of town is not acceptable and he should call to check on me. If he won’t – someone else will.
@The Frog Princess
“A lot of folks, especially when they are in their 30?s, expect a mate to just fit into their lives and do not make any accomodations for them. You cannot continue doing everything you did when you were single and then expect someone to be happy with you.”
This is the gospel. The straight up gospel. CoSIGN.
My cousin is the rudest person I’ve ever met. She’s been engaged twice and is currently in a LTR. Now, she’s not married (for a reason) but she fails to see how cussing her man out in front of his boys doesn’t inspire him to put a ring on it. It’s his fault too though cuz he allows it. *shrugs*
Anyway, Fox your additions are key. One other thing that needs to be noted is that if you (talking to women) can’t do it in front of him, then don’t do it behind his back. A lot of women get caught up in the flirting, texting, and all that bish hollering “I’m just being friendly” but let a man do the same, we’d have his balls. Yes, there are double standards with men and women, but this isn’t one of them.
@Perfect – thanks girlie!!*hifive*
@KitKat – I always tell men: I’m nice but I’m not THAT nice. It’s a balance. I am super friendly but I have no patience for disrespect and wil quickly change into a vile creature right before your eyes! lol
I just can’t stand rude people and people who are not aware of their rudeness and how it affects others. #whenkeepingitrealgoeswrong
@FP – Congrats!! I love new love. Yeah, I discovered that you have to show a man your likes/dislikes early on and stick to it. That way he knows how he should treat you.
I went into moderation the first time… oh well…
Can you shout #2 to the rooftops? For me, I think this is the easiest part. it’s almost like I enjoy having someone who makes me want to not be out til 4am with a million little eboos… and it is definitely always worth it.
If you have emotional hangups or baggage and know you wouldn’t be a good compliment to a man…don’t enter a relationship. I really think a woman should compliment a man and making a relationship work lies more on us than them. Yes! The tone is set by us.
Well said! Kudos!
yes again.
Amen on #2.
On #7 I generally agree, but with a qualification. A guy is going to feel a spark where there wasn’t one before only unintentionally and after a *long* period of time. Like maybe a year or more of frequent and consistent contact and communication. And the dude generally can’t will himself into it – it’ll happen in spite of him, not because of him.
A co-worker (female) is trying to convince me to push up on another co-worker. She’s a sweet girl, but I feel no sectsual attraction a’tall. I keep trying to tell co-worker #1 that “even though you think we’re a great match, it doesn’t matter because I’m *not* feeling co-worker #2 ‘like that.’” As a woman, co-worker #1 can’t fathom how this could be. It’s just a gender difference, that’s all.
agreed. i’ve know a few dudes who fell head over heels for chicks they were initially uninterested in. and they couldn’t explain why. kinda like thelma frye and reverend rubin gregory. amen!
I can’t even discuss the topic today because my thoughts are consumed with last night’s outing. I spent 50% of my time apologizing to random strangers for someone else. UGH!!! . : (
Otherwise, last nights Happy Hour was great! It was nice to finally meet Panama (who, by the way, is not a 3) : )
Carry on…
i want to hear about this!!!
and let me be a 3 doggone it.
@Panama
i want to hear about this!!!
The following are things people who you haven’t hung out with before may do/say during a Happy Hour: (God, this was so embarrassing):
- A guy approaches and introduces himself to me. I introduce him to friend. Admittedly, he was crowding our personal space, but friend just blurts out of nowhere, “I don’t like short men, let’s go!”
- We are talking to some guys who seem really cool…having small talk…nothing serious. Friend says, “We are attractive ladies, right?” (guys quickly agreed). Then friend says, “Then why are you standing here just talking to us? Real men would have taken us to dinner already.”
- One of the guys from the previous circle pulls me away from friend to talk (he’s clearly not feeling her). He invites me to a party tomorrow and said, “You should come through, but don’t bring her.”
- This was said to me on two occasions (Deele): “Excuse me sweetheart….Can you come get your girl?”
- I’m chatting it up with someone I met a couple times through other friends. I look over and friend is hugged up with one of the guys on the staff.
- While waiting for valet to bring her car around, she runs back inside because she wants to give the staff guy a “real” kiss. The car comes and I motion for friend to come. As we get in the car, two guys yell, “Sweetheart….do not let her drive!”.
jean claude van DAMMMME. but you know what…i believe it. LOL.
Lord have Mercy, GOD!!
THAT is NOT the business!!
That girl was “extra and a half!”
cock-blockers need to have their own island…
too much hateration in the dancery #AllMary
@Nick@Nite
Problem was (which I learned throughout the night) that she believes she’s God’s gift to men. That made me realize how “normal” I really am. I converse with people who are nice; not based on what they can do for me.
As soon as I made it home, I called my best friend (who currently lives in New Orleans but relocating to D.C. at the end of the year) and told hurry and tighten up that resume and get to D.C. STAT!
the question on everyone’s mind is…
are you going to that party tonight that you were invited to…?
cuz um.. YEAH! I would!
@Nick@Nite
“are you going to that party tonight that you were invited to…?”
That would be a “yes”! LOL!
that’s muh girl!!
go get dat!!
I got plans for DC in the cherry blossom time.. please make sure you’re still living up that way! Lol
@Nick@Nite
Cool! I’ll be here.
Um Nick…*bottom lip quivering*, Cnotes is my girl and all but so are you. I’m so torn. I hate to be the one to tell you this but um…Cnotes took yo man! I seent it with my own eyes. She came in her with her pretty avi and big boobs/butt seducing vsb folk. Iz ya’ll not together? #inquiringmindswanttoknow
@SFG
“Iz ya’ll not together?”
LMAO!! I gotta give it to you “Ms. Smart n
Foxy”, you are loyal!! : )
@Nick@Nite
When all of this started, I stayed out of it. But seeing as we cool, I need to get to the bottom of this:
(CALLING MR SOBO TO THE THREAD PLEASE)
*puts down bucket of popcorn* I still heart you Cnotes. I forgot to tell her that Sobo swooped in flip floppin his cape and ish…that man is full of tricks. lol I’ll be in the back if ya’ll need me…
*picks up bucket of pocorn and fades into the dark*
I have arrived.
@CNotes : “I need to get to the bottom of this.”
If SmartFoxGirl would let e-love flourish, I would be saying the above to you in our virtual alone time.
@SmartFoxGirl, you are a trouble maker and a hater or sorts.
You know very well(as well as others on here) that I became a free agent as soon as the devastating revelation about the bunoonunus that was going on hit the fan. Scandal all day. It almost became an episode of Jerry Springer, but I walked off the stage instead of standing there to be humiliated. Don’t let me pull the actual thread as evidence of this as well as commentary from witnesses. Now, low me and CNotes, an mine yuh rass business. Yuh too bad mind. Jus up inna di tings so. Gweh!
@CNotes
Don’t pay the Gator-haters any mind. SFG knows her alley cat love with CBG doesnt compare to our royal union.
First off, brilliant is an insufficient word to summarize the hilarity of all of this.
Second: ““You should come through, but don’t bring her.”
I cannot tell you how many times I’ve *wanted* to say this to some girl I was pushing up on.
@Scipio Africanus
“the hilarity of all of this”
I figured somebody should get a laugh, cause I sure as hell wasn’t cheesin last night. LOL
*flatlined*
@CNotes
How old is this chic and what was she drinking?
@Humble_One – “How old is this chic and what was she drinking?”
Stupidity on the rocks.
Apparently she didnt know her cut off point, so she ended up full of herself.
@Mr SoBo
“Apparently she didnt know her cut off point, so she ended up full of herself.”
Ahhh….feeling your way with words. : )
@Humble-One
“How old is this chic and what was she drinking?”
I know for sure that she is at least 10 years older than I am (I’m 33) and we were both drinking vodka and cranberry. Honestly though, she probably would have still been obnoxious without the drinks.
I’ll put it to you like this: She’s had some body work done that makes her look much younger and she’s proud of that. And, I’m certain that it has raised her expectations with regards to the type of men she will now deal with. I did manage to get a good laugh when she said, “I’m just going to be agressive and go after what I like”. She goes to stand by this tall drink of water assuming that he will notice her and be captivated. She was there 2.5 seconds before he just walks away. She comes over and says, “I don’t know what just happened?”. I shrugged, but on the inside, I was cracking up!!! : )
C-Notes,
I feel your pain!! I took a new friend on an outing once… and boy, did I regret it… My new rule is to test-drive the new friend at events with other people first…
Sounds like a loooooot of fun.
@Sula
” test-drive the new friend at events with other people first”
C-Noted : )
Daaaaamn. That is by far worse than what happened to me when hanging out with a new friend. Girl is a HOT mess! So tell me, how awkward was that ride back home? LMAO!
@Nadette @ Eat, Read, Rant!
“tell me, how awkward was that ride back home?”
LOL! Funny you ask. When I’m pissed, I’m extremely quiet (but you can feel it in the atmosphere). But she didn’t even realize I was bothered because she was too busy talking nonstop about how much fun she had. #gofigure
Here’s an “oh, my…” for your “friend”.
I know a woman, who has a similar attitude (and the fact that she is cute just makes it even more annoying).
I once witness a man throw his glass of Hennessey in her face.
@CNotes | @Panama Jackson
It was nice to finally meet Panama (who, by the way, is not a 3) : )
@Panama Jackson
and let me be a 3 doggone it.
I visit regularly and I’m ashamed to say who I am. Let me stress how I feel about the “PJ3″ situation. Dude is sexy. I say that first because of his picture when all we can see is his sexy lips. He looks hard and smooth, so mellow. Then, he speaks and it’s like confirmation for the abundance of intelligence, swag, and yet this humble and quiet hardness that is ever so present but only loud and blatantly displayed when necessary, even at that time of “secret thug relief,” he doesn’t lose his cool and remains intelligent. Sexy…..in all angles. A man of this caliber can never be defined or rated as a 3.
I too, want to read about this.
@CNotes
An entertaining night indeed, as I was entertaine reading it. And this is your friend? Friend?
@Mr SoBo
I used the word “Friend” in my post because it was easy. She is more of an acquaintance. She lives in my building and we met several months ago. We always discussed hanging out, but one of us always had a conflict. None of my friends were available to hang out last night so I figured…here is our opportunity.
So umm….yeah. Lesson learned.
I read the end of your comment and IMMEDIATELY hear “friendship.. FRIENDSHIP? (a la Mortal Kombat)” in my head..
thanks for the laugh…
“9. Lie until you have to tell the truth.”
Yes. It’s why I always tell Panama he’s a 3.45.
“If you’re relying on somebody else to make you feel good about yourself than you are hustling backwards. ”
This should be a t-shirt… or at least a Gmail signature…
But yeah, number 10 is the truest of them all. And that’s no lie.
The kicking squirrels thing reminds me of an article I read about a lady who was caught on video putting a cat in a trashcan . I agree with the whole list except for the lying. “Lying” just sounds awful, but I operate on a “don’t ask don’t tell” and if I happen to tell I just might not tell it all. My mama used to say a half-truth is a whole lie. Sorry Mama, I don’t believe you.
Aside from missing RTB ($100 tickets PJ, *Ed Lover* C’mon son!), this list is about as on point as Tiger was yesterday in the first round. Trust me, I’ve told plenty lies in my lifetime (all of them weren’t bout sh*t) but that’s how I feel sometimes. If you completely tell the truth to someone, to them it sounds like you’re just blunt for no reason.
So sugarcoat a lot, secure those insecurities.
*starts singing “If It Isn’t Love” by New Edition*
I would like to note… and sort of ask the VSB’s around here:
Mr. Steve Harvey has noted that his wife could catch him in the act, social security number tattooed on his behind and he would still say it wasn’t him to protect her feelings because he loves her. What kinda foolishness is that? Is that really a gauge of how you feel about a young VSS.
Secondly, do the lovely VSS here actually accept this behavior?
I mean is that lying until you have to tell the truth or lying because you think I’m stupid enough to believe you?
to this I’d like to say, this is why I know his book was a #swindle. the man is a comic who has been married 3 times and now you wanna give me some foolproof advice? -___- yea ok, ninja please.
@PerfectlyImperfect no… that behavior is not acceptable. If I catch you in a lie, I’m calling you out; especially something detrimental to our relationship. Even though the answer to this seems obvious, I will say that a lot of women allow foolish behavior waiting on a time to capitalize on it or just ignoring until some blatant like the example happens.
we are >>here<<..
for all the insecurities I might have, my intelligence is NOT one of them. Don't try to get one over on me. Half the time, I'm getting angry because even though you're caught, you STILL want to insult me and make it seem like I'm thinking crazy..
My ex swore up and down that he didn't go to Universal with a chick. I found a movie ticket stub with her CC info on it.. Found a receipt from Old Navy with her info on it. Like, COME ON SON!!!
I tell everyone.. "if it seems like I'm asking you the same question in a diff way over and over. Please believe I already know the answer and I'm giving you a way to come clean with the story."
Why is that a test he still failed? Thus, it was the slap heard around the world…
You SLAPPED him!
WOW son… See that’s what I’m talking about and then you supposed to be wrong for slapping him and he’s had 40,000 opportunities to go ahead and come clean.
Men, take note. We women are NOTHING to play with, maybe if you are just honest your face won’t be red and your boys won’t play you.
the thing that irked me is that we already broken up.. so it wasn’t that big of a deal. but he was trying to make his way back in.. you trying to make me give you a second chance and you can’t be honest with me!?!?
#Negative
#PointsBlouses
but i DID tell myself that no dude would have me like that again.. I’ll walk away next time rather than argue with a fool…
haha… he’s a double loser for that foolishness! how you gonna lie and we’re apart.. that’s when you tell the truth…
#stupidninja
Um…I slapped a guy once and got choked. I don’t recommend it. I will never put my hands on a man again.
HOLD EVERYTHING.
I almost had a mini stroke right here in my office. I hit the button too soon… You say….he choked you?
Is he dead?
Can you believe it? My friend’s ex pushed her, I pushed him, he got in my face, I slapped him then next thing you know I got his hand around my throat. Then he met my brother and cousins. lol I was 19 and learned to never put my hands on a man. Good thing I got men folk that stay ready.
Please tell me that your friend didn’t go back to that loser.
“Mr. Steve Harvey has noted that his wife could catch him in the act, social security number tattooed on his behind and he would still say it wasn’t him to protect her feelings because he loves her. What kinda foolishness is that? Is that really a gauge of how you feel about a young VSS. ”
Exactly. sometimes a lie makes me feel like you think I’m stupid.
I agree. I believe lies great or small do much more harm than good. Then again, I’m a different breed. I can take brutal honesty, even if it is unfavorable to me. (I understand most cant) I would rather know the stinging truth, than to learn that the one I love or care for has been dishonest to me in any way. I do not see the need for lies in a relationship at all, in any capacity. Forget what you’ve heard, lies are told to protect the liar, not the other person.
Simply put, if its not honest, its not love. -End game-
Simply put, if its not honest, its not love.
I like that sir. Here’s my thing… I remember reading how Ruby Dee said an open relationship made sense to her because it wasn’t the cheat that was a problem… it was the lies.
That’s why I can’t get with the whole lying thing to sustain your relationship. To me, that says: “You’re good enough for me to depend on you through thick and thin but you can’t depend on me to tell the truth”.
yeah, i ‘get’ open relationships….sometimes people need new blood, and sometimes it reminds you to be thankful for what you have. Just make sure home is taken care of first.
You sir, are making me smile! Your post deserves, a RIGHT ON and a SHOW YOU RIGHT. Go ahead, Mr. Sobo
if its not honest, its not love
keisha brown likes this. *insert facebook thumbs up.
also orders t-shirt in black fitted L.
I can’t get behind the lies business..
I believe that anything can be told if there’s a certain level of tact. I can tailor most things to my audience. Even my mother, who needs an exceptional amount of “sugar on the rim.”
I’m honest, so even if someone has something to say to me that i might not like. I try to understand the place it’s coming from and the thought process behind it before going off the handle. I try to see if there’s a valid point. Then I get quiet, because I don’t like being “checked” Lol..
I don’t like lies. I’ve been hurt by lies. So I tend to overcompensate..
my addition:
Don’t set a standard that you aren’t willing to meet.
If you have more viruses than a pron-site, then mandating that your S/O be disease free is a bit much. Don’t say that you need a motivated, degreed chick with her own and you won’t even go for the promotion at the waste management job.. There MIGHT be an exception, but I can’t think of any…
It just seems a bit “off” to me.. My ex was good for this..
“Don’t set a standard that you aren’t willing to meet.”
Thank you and I co-sign with that statement!
My nickname all throughout MS and HS was Joker, both for the size of my smile and the fact that I was smiling a large amount of the time. #ihatechu for making me recall this.
“My closet looks like a pet cemetery. Word to Cam’ron.”
~cop me air one’s hon. lime and red. you got pets, me too. mines are dead. doggy. foxes, minks, gators that’s necessary. accessories my closet is pet cemetery. i get approached by animal activists, i live in the zoo and run scandals with savages.”
that is all.
Hi VSB/VSS! May I add another thing to the list?
Evaluate yourself HONESTLY. Would YOU want to be your friend? If the answer is “ehhh maybe?” :/ or “no”; then you should most definitely stay away from any kind of new relationships. Work on the aspects of your personality that you know you can improve. When you like yourself, then you can love yourself.
Oh yeah: if you meet someone that you’re attracted to but also realize that they’re NOT someone you would EVER be in a platonic relationship with, go home and take a cold shower. Having Circus of the Stars acrobatic Matrix sex won’t make them more interesting; nicer or less mean.
(sorry about the bad grammar. Its hard to write on my BB)
With regards to #9: “Lie until you have to tell the truth”, after having been in a long-term relationship where he was a SERIAL liar and I told a few “minor” untruths, I decided that moving forward, I would always tell my man the truth, regardless of the outcome. I learned that lying causes too much trouble and takes too much energy. Well, cue forward to the next relationship – I always told him the truth, whether he wanted to hear it or not. In the beginning, he raved about how much he appreciated it. Later on, not so much. It caused major problems and what I learned was that, no matter how honest I am, it doesn’t mean that it will be reciprocated. I am THOROUGHLY convinced that most people can’t handle the absolute truth and that sometimes “a little white lie” may be in order. Just my $.02 worth. Happy Friday to all!!!!!!!!
see there is a difference in pouring out everything you have EVER done, thought, felt etc and what affects the now. what someone needs to know NOW because it impacts them or the treatment of them or is relavent to them and us etc
Men USE to grow on me…..but not anymore….I either have it for them or do not…sometimes it takes a one conversation, one date, a few weeks or a few months to figure this out……but eventually I look at him and say…nahhh……what’s better than knowing and loving yourself like no one else and being honest with what your emotional, physical, mental and sexual needs are? NOTHING!
This reminds me of something: doesn’t the idea that men can grow on women run somewhat counter to the idea that women know what they want from a man – physically or otherwise – within 5-15 minutes (depending on who you ask) of meeting them?
yes…exactly…no regrets..no looking back…no wish-I-coulda’s…I decide one way or the other…something!
My personal rule for judging how *she* feels is:
1. 3 weeks of real pushing up
2. 3 long phone calls (at least 1+ hours each)
3. 3 real dates
If by whichever of those takes the longest to happen she still doesn’t seem interested, she never will be, short of bumping her head and waking up a totally different person.
When girls are feeling me, it usually doesn’t take all that long for it to be glaringly obvious to me.
nail on the head with #3. i’ve liked many, dated a couple, and only once did i feel 100% conformable. i married him. richard daniels.
Omaha. Is. Real. Vicariously speaking of course. Lol! The fact that I know light rum & coke edited this post makes me chuckle.
After reading #9 and thinking back really hard, I’ve come to the realization that learning how to lie effectively is the best things that ever happen to my sex life. I’m not saying if I went through life without ever lying to a female I would be A.C. Green Jr., but there would have definitely have been a decisive difference in the quantity and quality of the women I’ve been with in my life (I wonder if this makes me a bad person??? *shrugs*). A well placed lie can go a long way in any type of relationship and even can be appreciated, if the other party views the discretion as having honorable intentions or as being done with no malicious intent, but no matter its true intentions, every lie has the potential to blow up in your face quicker than a crystal meth lab in Arkansas. Which makes lies in relationships the sharpest of all double edged swords.
And #7? Men shouldn’t take a chance on love why??? Very off balance desperate sexism. But thats nothing new for this very shallow blog.
Every time I read a really good article I go ahead and do three things:1.Forward it to the close contacts.2.keep it in some of the common sharing sites.3.Make sure to return to the blog where I read the article.After reading this post I’m seriously thinking of doing all of the above.
BLACK PPL IN OMAHA,NE….MALCOM X, GABERIEL UNION, JOHN BEASLY, WE HERE LOL